Chapter 763

As Have I

Earlier:

John Henry was aware of what transpired in the quarry. He was going to question the methods, but didn't. He knew their team almost suffered losses tonight. He knew Savannah was almost killed several times. He waited silently for the information Sheila 'extracted'. There was no laughing or taunting this time. He thought it was an improvement. He didn't know Sheila was upset because Savannah was almost terminated. It wasn't for 'fun', or amusement. It was personal.

The other Terminators watched as Sheila 'extracted' the information from the Grays.

Cammy watched Sheila take over. She didn't seem as thrilled as normal. She wondered if 'normal' was ever the right word to use in context with Sheila.

"I know you enjoy this." Cammy said as she held a Gray down.

Sheila didn't want to get into the specifics, not right now anyway.

"I do." Sheila said. "It's in my programming."

Bob watched Sheila 'work' with as much concern as there was fascination.

"I wouldn't do this." Bob said. "I would beat it out of them."

Cammy still held down the struggling Gray.

"I would too." Cammy said.

Sheila was a little irritated. It was more about Savannah than it was for her. She watched Bob and Cammy beat on the Grays earlier. She wasn't impressed with their results. She got more out of them in the first minute.

"You both tried." Sheila said. "They didn't talk. You only broke bones."

Sheila knew they needed a different kind of pain. Not only was it physical pain, as were the beatings, it was also the pain about what was being done.

Bob and Cammy knew it was true. Brute force didn't produce any results tonight. It usually did. The group they interrogated was a little tougher than normal. They seemed to be a little more emboldened than usual. It was more than just the first carload of Grays being chopped up by the minigun on a drone.

Earlier when Sheila stepped up to 'take over', Cammy saw her pull out her knife and smile. She told Sheila she wasn't allowed to use it on 'official' operations. Sheila told her Savannah sanctioned it because of what she went through earlier tonight. She found it hard to believe, but didn't think Sheila would make it up either.

"I can't believe Savannah gave you permission to do this." Cammy said. "It's not her."

Cammy was worried Savannah was willing to cross the line to make things happen. It was her constant association with Cameron that was behind it. Everything to Cameron was about winning. It seemed to rub off on Savannah. Then again she needed to think how Savannah must have felt with the actions she needed to take on their behalf. They were all things Savannah needed to do for them at a great risk to herself.

Sheila watched Savannah strangle the female Gray with her hands yesterday. Sure Cameron 'made' her do it, but she still did it. She thought Savannah would stop when the female Gray looked at her. She didn't. Cameron kept Savannah's hands on her throat until she died. She knew Cameron wanted to 'harden' Savannah for the future. The future was an ugly place and Cameron wanted to have Savannah ready for it.

"Savannah told me to do whatever I needed to do to get the information." Sheila said. "You can see how talkative they are."

Cammy looked over at the other Gray. He was almost terminated but not quite. Sheila wanted him left alive as long as possible to make the other Gray more talkative. He saw what awaited him if he wasn't forthcoming and truthful. She focused her attention back on the Gray she held down.

"The talkative one is very irritating." Cammy said. "He whimpers a lot."

Sheila looked over at the other Gray who was near termination.

Bob wasn't amused. He wanted the Grays terminated.

He was glad John and Savannah weren't there to witness the event. It really made him wonder how Jesse could be this cruel, or maybe it was just Sheila. Maybe her programming was defective. He would ask John Henry to look into it. He wanted it over. They obtained enough information to follow up on. There were a few solid leads.

"Finish up and let's go." Bob said.

Sheila looked a little insulted. She wasn't done yet. She felt there was extra justification tonight.

"These people tried to hurt John and Savannah." Sheila said. "They need to pay the price for it."

Cammy looked at the beaten Gray she held down. There were two compound fractures she inflicted. Even with the other broken bones he wouldn't talk. Sheila told him what she was going to do. He hadn't shut up since. She was tired of listening to him whimper as he talked. It seemed to her they now possessed several solid leads. It was time to act on them. She didn't want the information to go cold again.

"Bob's correct. We already have several locations." Cammy said. "Steve, Al, and Tom have headed out to one already. We should get started on another one."

Sheila could see it was a problem now. She didn't think there would be any more useful information. She did however want to make good on a promise she made to the Gray at the start of the interrogation. His scream echoed through the old granite quarry. She let Cammy quiet him down permanently..

"Fine…." Sheila said. "Finish it."

Cammy snapped the Grays neck. She knew it was because of what almost happened to Savannah about five different times a few hours ago. Now she was glad Sheila dealt with the Grays. It's what they deserved for trying to hurt Savannah. Who did they think they were? Skynet wasn't a 'god'. It was anything but one. It was pure evil.

"I didn't want to do anything more than what was necessary." Sheila said. "I only did what I needed to do, well, except for the last part. We both know he abused females at some point, somewhere. He won't be able to in the next life."

Sheila would have liked it if one of them would've been a female Gray. She didn't know where the compulsion came from. Maybe it was because she restrained herself with the female Gray who Savannah strangled.

Bob looked at the 'mess' Sheila left behind. He wasn't comfortable with the situation. He was ready to leave.

"We obtained the information we sought." Bob said. "Let's go."

Bob and his team loaded the Grays the information was 'extracted' from by Sheila, into the vehicle which was shot up earlier. It contained the shredded bodies of two additional Grays. They used the other Gray vehicle to shove the shredded Gray vehicle against the side of the quarry. Both vehicles were there side by side now against the rock face. They planned to blow off the rock overhang above the two Gray vehicles and cover them under tons of rock. He wanted things cleaned up so they could move on.

"Bury this 'mess'." Bob said.

John Henry instructed a drone to fire a missile at an overhang in the rock of the quarry. The explosion and shower of rock buried the two vehicles. They were now under tons of rubble.

Bob, Cammy, and Sheila, headed off to a target provided by the dead Grays, they were sure it was a solid target.

Earlier, Cammy scanned the Gray as Sheila 'worked' on him. He told the truth. He really didn't want to lose 'everything'. Sheila always told her once those two were off, the perpetrator became very talkative to keep what was left.

She didn't know why she was so forceful with her beatings of them. Maybe it was because the one called her a 'Metal Bitch'. She thought it was a more apt description for Cameron, but not her. She busted him up good after the comment. She was very pleased when she produced two compound fractures.

Savannah was positive she heard the sound of someone moving near her. She wasn't sure if they were Scavengers, Grays, or Terminators. She could just hear them coming.

She checked around where she was at. She didn't know where her weapons were. She couldn't find them. She knew she was in serious trouble when whoever was out there arrived.

Where was she anyway? She noticed something else was missing besides her weapons. It was her clothes. Somehow she was naked. Where were her clothes? Why were they off? She knew things were going to get a lot worse when whoever it was found her. She knew what was going to happen.

The sound was closer.

She could feel her heart pounding. There was nowhere to go. There's nowhere to run. There was nowhere to hide. Wherever she was at, was nowhere.

Savannah moved a little closer to see if she could get a look at who it was. She knew if it was a Terminator, it would be over quick. She actually hoped it was at this point. If it was Scavengers or Grays they would abuse her repeatedly. Why didn't she get 'popped' when she should have? Now her 'first time' was going to be done by strangers, against her will. It was going to be just like what happened to Vanna.

Vanna! Who was Vanna? Vanna was her. Those things didn't happen to someone else. They happened to her.

It was dark now. She wondered when it got dark. It was in the darkness when she saw them. It was 'those eyes'. They were just there. They looked at her. They stared at her. They could see right through her. It was as if she wasn't there at all.

She suddenly felt very confined. She was pinned down. There was no room to move her legs. She couldn't move her arms. There was something heavy on top of her. It was hard to breathe. There was a terrible pain in her neck. It was in her throat.

There was someone above her. She was sure it was someone very mean and cruel. She looked up at her own face. She realized she was being choked to death. It was being done by her somehow. It must be another version of her from another timeline. Why was she trying to kill her? She couldn't call for help. She couldn't scream. Most of all, she couldn't breathe.

Savannah didn't want to be where she was at.

Moments ago:

Cameron could feel Savannah's heart begin to beat faster. She immediately started to scan her. She could sense some type of distress or negative thoughts occurring within her. She could see the rapid eye movement through her closed eyelids. Savannah was dreaming. It wasn't a dream, it must be a nightmare.

She glanced over at John on her right side. He was sound asleep. She turned her attention back to Savannah. She began to talk softly into her ear. It was the same thing she did when she 'conditioned' Savannah, or any of the others. Now she talked happy peaceful thoughts, instead of instructions, information, or directives.

Savannah's heartbeat began to slow. The feelings of distress as she scanned her diminished. Wherever Savannah was at a few minutes ago, she was no longer there.

Cameron felt she was in the way, quite literally. She carefully got up and moved from between John and Savannah. They now faced each other. She carefully moved them closer together. She took one last look and moved into the passenger seat next to Ally.

Ally watched everything go down. She glanced at Cameron. No words were spoken between them. What was there to say?

Savannah was now on a boat. The sea was calm around her. Maybe it was a lake. It was a big one if it was. There was a gentle breeze. The air was fresh. It was definitely salt air. She was on the ocean. She tried to remember how she got there. She couldn't remember anything which happened before she was on the boat. She felt very content and peaceful.

She snuggled up to something warm. She wasn't sure what it was. It didn't matter. She just knew she was where she wanted to be.

After some time passed, she didn't know how long, everything seemed to fade away.

Later on:

Savannah opened her eyes. She was a little surprised at where she was and who she was with. It all started to come back to her.

John awoke. He saw something very beautiful when his eyes opened.

He looked into Savannah's eyes. They were beautiful and blue

It reminded him of the time he was abused by the rogue Liquid Metal creature. He slept in the same room with Allison and Vanna afterwards. He needed to be in the company of other humans after the experience. He needed to be around 'real' people. He was clearly around a real person now.

He still didn't know what actually happened on the night of the strange encounter. Maybe it was nothing. Maybe the whole thing was a dream. He did remember how Vanna and Allison looked after him though. They both made it clear 'anything' he wanted was available. Because he was so unnerved, he just wanted their company.

He was happy with the company now. He did remember during those tough times and extended periods of Cameron's 'absences' there was always someone who could come around and lift him out of the 'doldrums'. There was always someone who reminded him what everything was really about. She was here right now.

Savannah smiled at him. She reached out and touched his face with her hand.

It felt very comforting and reassuring to him. It felt so 'right'.

John could see how beautiful Savannah truly was. He was also aware Cameron moved out from in between them somewhere on the journey home. He figured it was as soon as he fell asleep. He would bet she even moved Savannah and him closer together. He didn't think it was a bad thing.

He knew this is what Cameron thought she wanted for all of them. He was also aware Savannah wanted it too as did he. Cameron pushed them all together so often. Everything seemed natural at this point.

John felt a little guilty at wanting her virginity. Sure he wanted to be her 'first', but she was so much more than someone 'new'. He wondered how far they could go in a non sexual relationship. Wouldn't it be the true test of love? Could two people make things work without sex involved? Wasn't it why people got married in the first place? Isn't it what all relationships revolved around? Who was he fooling? He'd be all over her every night.

"Good morning, John." Savannah said.

John wondered what it would be like to wake up to this beautiful face every morning. Instead he woke up almost everyday all alone. He knew Cameron didn't sleep and needed to do things, like fight the war. He was usually alone a lot. Maybe he was lucky Cameron spent as much time with him as she did. It often seemed to be an inconvenience to her. He did understand she wanted the 'best' for him. He understood why she wanted Savannah in his bedroom and his life. She wanted Savannah to 'take over' for her.

"Good morning, Savannah." John said.

John felt a strong desire to kiss Savannah. It was clear she felt the same thing.

He looked around and saw Cameron was in the front of the van with Ally. The van wasn't moving. The engine was off. He wondered if there was a problem but no one seemed very concerned.

"Where are we?" John asked.

Ally looked a little less pleased than Cameron did.

"We're back at the base." Ally said. "We've been back for an hour."

John thought he should get up but didn't feel like it yet. He felt so comfortable right now. He was very content.

"Why didn't you wake me up?" John asked.

Cameron flashed her sly smile.

"You looked so content and peaceful holding each other." Cameron said. "I didn't want to disturb you two. I'm sure you both must have experienced some pleasant dreams."

John was now aware Savannah and him actually held each other.

He immediately sat up.

"I'm sorry." John said.

Ally laughed.

"I only sat here for this long because I wanted to see something happen." Ally said. "I really wanted to see a little more. It's not too late."

Sometimes Ally wondered if John knew what to do.

Cameron smiled.

"It's never too late." Cameron said.

Savannah reached out for John.

John looked at Cameron and she nodded.

He gave Savannah a long hug. The warmth and soft firmness of her body felt so 'right'. It was beautiful.

Savannah liked where she was at right now. She didn't care for the events late last night and early into the morning. She felt much safer and content where she currently was. She didn't feel like she was going to be killed. She didn't feel like she was going to die. She didn't feel like she needed to kill anyone. There was also another feeling. It was nature calling. She knew when nature called, nobody stalled. She was glad she'd be able to use a regular bathroom. It often wasn't the case when she was on a mission.

"I think we all need to attend to some 'personal matters'…." Savannah said. "I know I do."

Savannah was aware she was covered with dirt, grime, and soot. She forgot she was during her slumber. If anything it was a reminder she survived, again. At some point, it wasn't going to be the case. Maybe it was better to look like a mess and be alive, than look pretty and be dead. She was still a teenager and cared about her appearance, especially in front of John and Cameron.

"I must look terrible." Savannah said. "I apologize for the way I look."

John was aware of it too, but somehow it made her even more attractive. Maybe it was because of what he saw her go through to look like she did.

"I've never seen anything more beautiful." John said.

John saw some of the danger she was in. In fact, she faced more danger more often than he ever faced. She faced more Terminators too. Only Cameron faced more Terminators than Savannah. It alone said a lot.

Cameron was aware of Savannah's prior obligations. It was clear John was too 'afraid' to act now on any serious issues.

"Savannah has several matters she needs to take care of today." Cameron said.

John wondered what they were, but thought it was probably better if he didn't know. Maybe they were personal. He knew Cameron always ran Savannah around. He thought some of it was to 'fix' things Cameron did which bothered others. He knew Cameron could be very stubborn at times. Savannah was the only one he knew who could 'defuse' her.

Savannah left to get cleaned up. Ally headed out to do the same.

John and Cameron were still in the van.

Cameron moved back and hugged John. She wanted to make herself clear. There were several layers on her mission from her future under Future John.

"It's your future, John." Cameron said. "Please make the future now. Until you do, my mission isn't complete."

John wanted Cameron to know he hadn't made love to Savannah in the motel room. They were close to it again. Much like the first time, they were seconds away from completing their destiny. He was only a second or two away from the first glorious thrust.

He strongly doubted he was Cameron's 'first', but he sure wanted to be Savannah's 'first'. Future Riley indicated she'd been 'around the block', in and out of 'foster care'. He later understood it to mean she went through what all females went through in the future, any future, every Skynet future.

It made him think about the future he 'created'. He wondered if those girls understood everything which happened to all of them, was because of what he did with his 'time jump'. Things weren't as bad in Cameron's future. Maybe they would all hate him.

"Cameron, I want you to know we didn't…." John said. "Savannah and me…."

Cameron wondered when John would 'come clean'.

"I'm aware of it." Cameron said. "It should have been several times over. John, it must happen. She will make a wonderful mate and produce beautiful children with you."

Cameron could testify first hand they would be beautiful children. She was there for the birth of two of them in two different futures. She saw it all first hand. She felt a slight glitch impulse as she thought about the pain Savannah went through to deliver them. Somehow it was her fault, even if it wasn't.

John thought about what Cameron indicated. He did want it. He wanted the true beauty of Savannah. He wanted all of her, not just what she could offer in bed.

"I'd be lying if I said I didn't want it." John said. "I used to think this was all your doing and manipulation. I know it's more than the efforts of one individual."

Cameron didn't think it was fair to indicate she was responsible for everything herself. She was the tool. Not the creator.

"It's YOU who chose Savannah in the future, John." Cameron said. "It was NEVER my doing. From the moment when we first rescued her, our lives have been forever linked."

There was a question which bugged John. Maybe he didn't want to know the answer even if he did. He decided to ask it.

"Do you love Savannah more than me?" John asked.

Cameron looked serious. Her eyes were big and wide now.

"Maybe…." Cameron said. "Savannah is the 'Chosen One'."

John wasn't sure what it really meant. Cameron was never specific all the times he asked her what it really meant.

"Chosen by me?" John asked.

Cameron was able to muster a faint smile. Somehow it made her look even more beautiful.

"She was chosen by you, Allison, and me." Cameron said. "Go to her. Her door will be open…."

John wanted it but he wasn't sure. She might not turn him down, but he didn't know if it was what she really wanted. Maybe her true calling was elsewhere. It's what all the evidence indicated. She seemed to follow in Vanna's footsteps, and bed partners. It was very clear she was attracted to females.

"Did she say it would be?" John asked.

Cameron heard what Savannah told Sheila before they left. She knew how troubled Savannah was inside to say it and mean it. Savannah needed to kill a lot of people recently. She needed to fight for her life. She even was willing to sacrifice her life for others. Maybe she should just keep it simple for John.

"No, but it will be." Cameron said. "She needs someone after what's happened these last few days. She wants comfort and reassurance. She almost died, John. She almost died several times over. It was one after another. She knew it too. It wasn't like it was a surprise or anything. She knew she was going to die."

John was aware of it and wondered how he would have done under the same conditions. He didn't think he would have done as well. He was sure Cameron wanted to be with Savannah as much as he did, if not more.

"Will you go?" John asked.

Cameron felt a glitch impulse. She didn't want to deny reality. She didn't want to deny her feelings. She didn't want to deny her desire.

"I will at some point." Cameron said.

John wondered what the hesitation was about. He knew Savannah would be with Cameron in an instant. He could see how much Savannah loved Cameron since she was a small girl.

"What are you waiting for?" John asked.

Cameron was sure all the failures were of her doing. Savannah was always there and ready, but she never 'took'. She was always very respectful and caring. She waited for her to make the first move. It seemed very important to Savannah for her to make the first move.

"I really don't know." Cameron said. "We've been so close to 'it' so many times."

Cameron did know. She was afraid when she was with Savannah, it's all she would ever want from then on. It was pure sweet love. It was love about sharing, not about lust or conquest. It was much more than sexual. Sexual acts were one way to consummate the love and share it. They wouldn't be what the love was based on. The love was much deeper.

John understood Savannah wanted something special. She wanted to be made to feel special. He couldn't help but think of Cameron's earlier reference. There was also another potential problem in the works. No. It wasn't a potential problem, it was the real deal. It was a big problem.

"She wants to be 'chosen'…." John said as he collected his thoughts. "What about Cammy going forward? What happens to her? I know you're not going to 'share' with her."

Cameron often regretted creating Cammy. She was such a Bitch. She was glad she wasn't like Cammy. She provided something for Cammy instead of deactivation. There were actually several options open to her.

"Cammy has been provided with an 'alternative'." Cameron said. "She's been provided with plenty of time to get acclimated."

John was aware all the human girls were spoken for, well, not all of them. Was it Summer, or his sister? Was it Riley, or his Mother? Was it Derek, or Kyle? Maybe it was another Terminator.

"Is it Ally?" John asked.

Cameron thought John should have paid attention to where everyone ended up at tonight. It wasn't an accident.

"It's Sheila." Cameron said.

John felt a little upset. Everything was all so like 'Cameron' and the way she rolled. He was sure it was some type of manipulation. It was most likely a forced choice, rather than an actual one.

"Is this another thing you've 'planned'?" John asked.

Cameron didn't see the need to tell John all the details about how Cammy and Sheila were recently doing things in the past for her, for eight years 'together'. They built more than one TDE each year in different locations. They actually needed to go back into some of the years they already visited to 'fix' some things. They also made sure Cameron and the others would have the proper ID, plenty of money, places to stay, vehicles, and weapons. It was all set up. She wanted to keep it simple, but some things always 'ate' away at her. They crept out anyway.

"Yes." Cameron said. "Nobody should ever feel lonely or unwanted. It kills you inside when you feel those feelings…. To be rejected and replaced is terrible. It's horrific, John. I didn't want Cammy to go through the same thing."

John knew Cameron was referring to Riley - the dead one, Future Riley.

"Cameron, I'm sorry…." John said. "I've tried to fix it."

Cameron knew how John could 'fix' it. It was very straight forward.

"Give me the 'family' I want." Cameron said. "Give me the 'family' I need."

John wondered if he should listen for once or keep doing what he was doing for years. He really didn't believe what Cameron 'said' and what she really 'felt' were the same thing.

"We'll see." John said.

Cameron wanted a better answer.

'I must complete my mission.' Cameron thought.

Cameron knew until John chose Savannah and Young Allison, her mission was incomplete. She hid her glitching hand from John. She really wondered what she needed to do to get him to act.

Savannah looked back at the van as she left. She really didn't want to leave. She went to her room and stripped. It looked like her clothes were headed for the trash. They were covered with grime and soot. They were ripped in many places.

She looked at her filthy body in the mirror. There were new cuts, scrapes and more bruises. She was disgusted by her appearance. She doubted anyone would want to touch her in such condition. They would probably think she was afflicted some kind of disease or something. She wondered what leprosy looked like. No, she didn't want to see it. There were already enough images in her head of things which didn't need to be there. Maybe she looked like someone from the future.

She remembered what each of the people who came back from the future looked like. They were all afflicted by various skin conditions. She didn't know it at the time, but the physical conditions weren't what troubled them. It was the condition of each of their minds which needed healing.

Savannah ran the water to get it warm. She entered the shower. She moved under the warm spray. She turned the water a little warmer, and then warmer again as it flowed over her. The dirt and grim was washed from her hair and body. She watched the black streams of water run down the drain.

She was a little sore from everything the last few days. None of it was the soreness she hoped for…. She really thought it was going to happen in the motel room. She was sure it would at some point.

She left her room door open. Not just unlocked, but open a few inches. It was an invitation. From the shower she heard her room door close. It was closed with enough force so she would know someone entered. She wasn't sure who it would be. She also didn't know what would happen. She thought about Young Jesse a lot, she always did when she was pregnant. Young Jesse impregnated her the first two times. Maybe it was Jesse. If it was, she was ready. Any Jesse was still Jesse.

She caught a glimpse of movement. No, it didn't look like Jesse. She was ready for some 'adventure', it wouldn't be today.

Savannah wiped on the glass of the shower, but all she could see was someone undressing in the darkness of her room outside the bathroom door.

The shadow moved toward the shower door. The steamy vapor filled the air. There was a soft knock on the shower door.

"Come in." Savannah said. "I've been waiting for you…."

The door opened.

"As have I…."

Closing monologue by Cameron:

I'm Good Now

There was a time
When we were so in love
Then the heat turned up on you
And you gave me a shove

You pushed me away
Made me feel like trash
The love we shared
You killed in a flash

You still don't know
How you hurt me so bad
Then in front of my face
You found another comrade

How do you justify that
To kill someone's heart
Then turn right around
And with another one start

You won't see me
Or even TALK to me anyhow
Thanks a lot for NOTHING
I'm good now

Nobody