I'm back! And with another chapter no less! This time Dib and Zim have gotten back from their mission and might need a little breather. Well, just Dib at least. But everything might not just be over yet, not until Zim says so.
"So…are you satisfied?" Dib asked unenthusiastically from Zim's couch, as he lay casually with a leg and an arm hanging from the side. Meanwhile, GIR was sticking a wet, greasy piece of pizza into the human's face, waiting for them to accept.
"DO YOU WANT IT?! DO YOU WANT IT?! DO YOU WANT IT?!-"
Dib was long past caring at that point, as he just stared emptily up at the ceiling. Zim on the other hand was busy organizing and fiddling with the tech that they had salvaged from the warehouse. He would masterfully disassemble the machine one after another, throwing the things he needed into a dedicated 'useful' pile and the rest into the 'trash' pile. Names Dib had given the piles out from the two words the alien kept repeating whenever he had disabled something.
"Useful, trash, useful, useful, trash, trash, trash, useful-"
It seemed that Dib's question finally made its way into Zim's head, as the alien stopped his endless pattern, and looked over at the resting human.
"Oh…well, I wouldn't say that this heap of Earth trash can satisfy me. But…it's passable." Zim replied with a self-happy smile, congratulating himself for his endless generosity in giving such a meaningful compliment. Not that Dib caught on to that.
"Great," Dib said back, though it sounded like it was more to himself than to Zim. The alien tried to go back to sorting the components, but couldn't help looking back at the exhausted human on his couch. He tried to ignore it, but for some reason, he couldn't regain his focus.
"By the Tallest! What's wrong now, human?" He asked with a hint of hostility, most likely blaming the human for distracting him from his work.
"What does it look like I'm doing? I'm resting."
"And do you HAVE to do that on my couch?" Zim asked with a slightly irritated tone, not looking forward to cleaning his couch from all the human germs the Dib-thing must be carrying.
"Well, I was too tired to walk all the way home, and since I CARRIED you all way to your house, I thought the least you could do was lend me your couch."
"Shshshshshshs we don't talk about that!" Zim angrily hissed, hoping they could both lay that whole thing to rest and let it be forgotten. Most hopefully in a grave. Or a ditch.
"But why are you even so tired? You've never seemed so exhausted after fighting Zim." He questioned, with the human shrugging in response. After thinking about it, an evil grin spread on the alien's face, as a realization hit him.
"HAH! It's probably your inferior earth-monkey body starting to weaken after all these years."
Dib was just about to argue with him when he thought it over for a moment and started to see some sense in the green bug's words.
"Oh god, maybe I AM starting to get old!" He muttered in panic. While he was quick to dismiss the idea it had something to do with his age, another reason came to him.
"Or…it might be from all the stress I've experienced from dealing with you on a daily basis."
"HEY! It's not Zim's fault that your weak little body can't handle constant near-death experiences." Zim shot back with an annoyed tone while crossing his arms. He expected a shot fired back from the human but was disappointed to find him just staring silently at the ceiling. Zim considered leaving it at that, but the thought that he might have hurt the pitiful human's feelings left him feeling rather down. For whatever reason, he couldn't possibly understand. As he at first hesitated, he ended up letting out a grueling grown, before walking over to the couch. GIR had stopped stabbing Dib in the face with the pizza and was instead busy devouring it himself. Dib didn't have much time to react before Zim started padding him on the head as if he was a dog.
"There there, earth-worm. I'm sure your body hasn't COMPLETELY fallen into disrepair. Take your disgusting rest, and I'm sure you will be up and going in no time."
Dib just stared blankly into space, not sure whether he was experiencing a hallucination or not. Whatever the case, he found himself enjoying the experience a little bit.
"Besides, I can't have you dying of exhaustion while we still have work to do."
"Wait, more work?" Dib asked puzzled, finally sitting up.
"I thought we got what you needed?"
"What I need? HAH! What I need is some superior Irken technology! Not this pile of scraps!" Zim exclaimed while pointing at the 'useful' pile.
"And while I still can use my BRILLIANT INTELLECT to make something functional with this, I'm gonna need a lot more of this junk before I can build ANYTHING resembling the original tracker."
"Ugh…so let me guess. I'm gonna be doing more night errands with you?" Dib asked wearily, even though he already knew the answer.
"Trust me, it pains me SO MUCH MORE than it does you." The alien answered back, and Dib was inclined to believe him.
"Well, guess that just means I'm gonna need more rest." Dib jokingly mentioned before diving back into the couch, taking the chance to wipe away some of the pizza still stuck to his face. A decision he soon regretted as his hand was quickly covered in grease, and in the end, he decided to leave it alone.
"After all, you said it yourself," The human continued with a wry smile, making the alien slightly flinch with anger from having his own words used against him.
"Yes, but that wasn't an invitation for you to get YOUR HUMAN MUCKUS ALL OVER MY COUCH!"
"What you gonna do about it?" Dib challenged Zim, still smiling at him with an annoying grin. However, he would soon regret his words.
After a little tussle, Dib found himself thrown out of the front door, and landing face-first on the lawn. Trying to keep a bit of his dignity, while spitting out a bit of dirt and grass, he got up and dusted himself off before looking back at Zim, who still stood in the doorway with an apathetic expression on his face.
"See you tomorrow then?" Dib said, trying to sound stoic. Though the moment was ruined a bit by grass falling from his hair.
Dib could see that Zim was contemplating his words. Maybe it was the moment that Zim would laugh in his face and tell him that he was just using him and that everything had been some grand plan to make Dib lower his guard. Something that wouldn't have been that out of character for him.
"Agreed," Zim finally replied, before slamming the door closed. Dib stood still, seemingly out of shock. It was hard for him to fathom, but it seemed that the two of them had become partners. Partners in crime technically, but that wasn't so important. He had imagined that their mission together would just have been a one-time thing. While they had succeeded, Dib would have thought that Zim would have already become tired of working with him by then. But it seemed the space bug might have actually enjoyed working with him. The same could be said for Dib. No matter how little sense it made to him.
His thoughts were put on hold, as suddenly the all too familiar laser gnomes came up from the lawn, and all turned their eyes on Dib.
"Did…did he just turn on his defense system?"
The sound of lasers powering up answered his question.
A little later Dib was back at his house, with his poor trenchcoat littered with holes and tears, a little bit on fire. And to think, that Gaz called him crazy when he bought those extra trench coats in bulk last year.
"Whose crazy now." He said with a satisfied smirk to himself, shaking off the dust from evaporated fabric still stuck to his coat, as a normal person would.
With that, he walked inside and barely made it a few feet inside before he was stopped by the ever-terrifying presence that was his sister.
"There were you." She said, having stood by the side of the door, with Dib having walked right past her. Dib carefully turned around to face her and was met by a sharp, curious gaze.
"So, where were you off to?" She asked, and Dib was slightly surprised that she even cared enough to ask.
"Oh, you know…outside…" He replied, not very convincingly.
"...For an entire night?"
"Yes. I MEAN-why do you even care where I went off to?"
"Well, you usually tell me something like 'I'm going to fight Zim, see you later' before storming out the door. But last night you snuck out and actually tried to be sneaky."
"Hey, I'm a master at sneaking! Wait, how did you know that I-"
"Was going out? Yay, you need to work on your sneaking bro." Gaz said, with a mocking tone, apparently enjoying being able to use such a cheesy line.
"So…are you gonna tell me where you were?" Gaz asked again, this time with more urgency in her voice. Dib considered lying for a moment, but that somehow seemed more embarrassing than just admitting the truth.
"Well…I was out with Zim."
Gaz raised a single eyebrow in a subtle act of suggestion, which Dib picked up on.
"NOT THAT WAY! I was just helping him with, stuff, y'know. The usual 'breaking into a government warehouse' kinda stuff."
"Yeah, sure, whatever you say-...wait, you're helping Zim?" She asked, with an amount of surprise in her voice Dib rarely heard.
"Um…yay."
"..." It only took a few seconds before she fell into a small laughter fit, with Dib staring blankly back at her, wondering what he did to deserve such ridicule this time.
"YOU?! Helping Zim? After all those years of you whining about him and talking about your 'epic and super serious rivalry', you're now helping Zim?" She continued, though she couldn't hold back a few snickers here and there.
"Yes, my life's a joke, I get it," Dib replied with a hollow tone, thinking back to all the time he swore to destroy the alien, and now hearing Gaz's words ringing in his head, made him realize just how weird his life had turned out.
"Sorry, but come on, it's a bit funny, isn't it?"
"In a cosmic sense, yeah, but haven't you been the one advocating for me to become friends with him? So really, this is your fault." Dib answered back defiantly, though he regretted making working with Zim out to be a bad thing. But, he was trying to win an argument, so it was completely justified.
In response, Gaz narrowed her eyes nearly shut, peeking at Dib with a borrowing gaze. He felt a cold sweat running down his neck, and he wondered if he had said something wrong.
"Touche." She finally replied, before letting go of her gaze, and making Dib let out a quiet sigh of relief. But just as he was about to say goodbye and leave to finally lay on his bed, he was stopped by a last question.
"Hey, last thing. Were you about to die at any point?"
If we were normal siblings then I would have assumed that it was a question out of care. But we're not, so I have to be careful.
Dib thought to himself, this time narrowing his eyes at her, as suspicion started taking over. Even though the question was at worst leading to a joke at his expense, he couldn't help but feel she was leading up to something.
"...Yes…" He slowly muttered, as if he was worried that something was gonna spring at him at the slightest sound. Though that would have been preferable to what actually happened.
"Did Zim then try to save you?"
Such a simple-seeming question was enough to nearly make Dib cringe to death. He could admit to a lot of things, a lot of embarrassing things, but admitting that Zim saved him was something he had always held as the highest form of humiliation possible. Such an elegant trap had been sprung on him and by his own sister no less. He would think of ways to get revenge if it weren't because it would most likely cause him more harm than good. Instead, he had to just be content with answering her. He also considered jumping out of a window, but he was so tired that he worried he wouldn't be able to break through the glass.
"I-I mean, I wouldn't call it-it's really about the perspective you know-like, I don't really think he would-I'm not that sure so-"
He continued like that for a few moments, becoming more awkward and embarrassed by the second. Gaz was more than happy to wait for him to give her a proper answer. In the end, he could only let out a defeated sigh and sheepishly avert his eyes from hers.
"...I guess, he technically did, BUT-"
"Good. Just wanted to be sure he wasn't going to let you die the moment things turn intense." She casually explained with no further comment, very much to Dib's surprise. He practically waited for her to say an insult, but it didn't come.
"Yeah, that's…reassuring, I'd have to admit." He said, trying to fill the silence that had been built.
"I'm probably going to regret this, but what was it you were even helping him with?"
"Oh you know, we're just trying to rebuild a tracker Zim uses to locate his Tallest and we needed some components which Zim was going to use to recreate his Irken technology-"
"Yep, I'm already bored out of my mind. See you." She coldly said before bluntly walking past Dib and going into the living room.
"And also, you have something on your face," Gaz commented before disappearing from view.
He looked after her with a confused look on his face. He took his hand to his face and realized the cheese and grease had hardened, leaving a hard crust over his entire cheek. He considered cleaning it up, but couldn't be bothered. So instead he made his way up to his room. He then practically kicked the door open and proceeded to jump into his bed and fell asleep almost immediately. Inadvertently leaving a big stain on his pillow for him to clean in the morning.
The next day he nervously showed up at Zim's house. Everything seemed pretty typical, which wasn't such a good thing, since that would most likely mean his gnomes were active. Either through an unfounded trust or just idiocy, he decided to brave it and walked up to the front door. Luckily he wasn't immediately turned into shredded cheese. With slight hesitation, he then pressed the doorbell and waited for Zim to answer. When nothing came, he choose to press it again. Not even a moment after he heard from within the house;
"YOU CAN LET YOURSELF IN YOU STINKY WORMY-DIB!"
"Well, he seems to be in a good mood," Dib muttered to himself before walking in.
The first thing he noticed was Zim standing in the middle of his living room while staring fiercely at his TV screen. The alien didn't even give him a single glance as he walked over to him. Dib wasn't quite sure what to do, so he decided to stand by Zim's side and also stare at the screen.
"What are you looking at?" He asked curiously.
"That," Zim said sharply with a claw pointing at the screen.
Dib hadn't been paying attention to what was on the screen, but quickly the cogs started to turn. It was a news segment talking about some kind of big, rich party happening in a building downtown. The building looked luxurious from the outside, and pictures from the inside were even better. Dib was sure he had never even stepped into a place as grand. But what really intrigued him was that he had heard of the party before from his dad, who had mentioned it in passing. From what his dad had said and what was being told on the TV, Dib realized it was essentially a big auction event doubling as an investors' meeting. With the main focus being incredibly advanced technology, that was too expensive to even mass produce in large quantities. This was how his dad knew about it since from just looking at a few pictures of the inventions in question, he could recognize some of his dad's designs. It was then Dib was hit by the realization.
"Wait…you want to raid that place?"
"We're going to raid that place." Zim off-handedly mentioned, without even involving an insult or mockery. Dib couldn't keep down a smile.
Zim then walked away from the screen and over to a spot on the floor covered with papers and blueprints. The human walked up behind him and took a skewed look at the mess on the ground.
"Zim, you know you can just use a table right?"
"SHUSH DIB-WORM! Prepare your imbecilic eyes to observe…MY MASTER PLAN!" He proudly exclaimed, while spreading what looked like a blueprint for the building that was still on the screen.
"This is the plan for the entire STUPID building that I've managed to create with information gathered with my advanced irken computer, while you were off sleeping like the human-worm you are." The alien started to explain, his insult uttered with such an impartial tone that Dib wasn't sure whether he had heard right.
"I know of every vent, every security system, every guard, and their patrol routes. If there is anything worth knowing about that useless place, then I've got it right here." He continued, tapping the paper a few times.
"Wow, that's…actually incredibly useful. Why didn't you do that when we raided the warehouse?"
"Oh, Zim just…assumed that there weren't going to be any problems."
"Like what?"
"LIKE YOU ALMOST GETTING SHREDDED INTO TINY LITTLE PIECES OF MEAT!" Zim stated with so much irritation out of nowhere, that it caught Dib off-guard. He only got more confused when he noticed that he had completely forgotten about his near-death experience, and yet Zim seemed like the one that was most worried about it. Which made a devious smile spread on Dib's face.
"Aww, were you worried about me?" Dib asked with the most mocking voice he could think of. And to no one's surprise, the alien immediately got flustered.
"W-what?! OF COURSE NOT! I-I just, DON'T WANT YOUR DISGUSTING BLOODY LUMPS ALL OVER MY UNIFORM! THAT'S WHY!" He nearly yelled, before furiously reading his papers while grumbling angrily to himself and sitting down, as if hoping that if he waited long enough, Dib would forget about the conversation. But he wasn't about to let Zim go that easily.
"It's okay, I care about you too!"
As soon as he noticed Zim going quiet he knew he had said something wrong. He might have not added enough sarcasm to his words. Actually, he had sounded scaringly genuine. It had come out so naturally that Dib hadn't even noticed the way he was saying the words. Neither did it help that Zim seemed frozen in place. Dib shuffled around a bit, desperately trying to keep down a blush. In the end, he found the silence agonizing, and decided to move forward with the conversation in whatever way possible.
"Soooooo…you had a plan all figured out?"
It took a moment for Zim to respond, and when he did, it was possibly the only time Dib had ever heard him sounding sincerely shaken.
"Uhh…y-yes, I have with utmost BRILLIANCE constructed the most SECURE and FOOLPROOF plan imaginable! You know, since you're coming along." He said in a mocking tone, before looking back at Dib, who just scoffed and turned his head away. Though it was mostly because he didn't feel ready to face Zim yet. Dib wondered why he couldn't just have said anything else. Or at least made it sound less genuine. After all, it wasn't like he meant it. At all. Totally.
Zim looked back at his plans and picked up the one with the entire building drawn on it. He then held it up like a trophy.
"With this, breaking into that disgusting human party will be no biggy! We're gonna fly up the side of the building, break through a window, and enter the vents. Then we cut the power to the place, and while all the humans are running around panicking like pigs, we're gonna enter the exhibition and take what we want! We leave, and no one will even know it was us! And there's nothing that can change that!"
"DON'T JINX IT!" Screeched GIR from out of nowhere, seemingly phasing into existence. Zim turned to look at the robot with a confused expression on his face.
"What's this jinxy you speak of?!"
Both Zim and Dib looked at GIR curiously, but before either of them managed to say anything more, their attention was instantly caught by a few interesting news from the TV.
"And here I am standing with Benedict Watchman, the overseer of the building's security, hired by the venue's owner. Mr. Watchman, would you like to share some facts about the security that's going to be present at the night the party is supposed to take place."
"No problemo. We're dealing with pretty high-level VIPs if you know what I'm saying."
"I don't."
"Anyway, that means that normal security ain't gotta cut it. So the night the party is taking place, we're gonna have about five armed helicopters circling the building, making sure no weirdos are gonna try and grapple up the side of the building. And for extra measure, we have a squad of highly trained snipers on the rooftop, just to make sure."
"Isn't that a bit too much?"
"...Lady, I believe every American has the right to fully armed helicopters and deadly snipers if they so choose to. Even if they're a bunch of rich snobs. Anyway, as I was saying-"
The interview continued, but both Zim and Dib were too stunned to really listen further. The only thing the alien could mutter was a confused; "Wha."
"I TOLD YOU NOT TO JINX IT!... GOODBYE! I'm gonna go eat a cat!" GIR continued before walking through the living room and out of the front door, leaving Dib to worry about whatever unfortunate creature was going to meet him next. Zim didn't share the same concern and instead stared at the screen before blankly looking at his plan. Then after a moment, he viciously ripped the paper to shreds.
"RUINED! MY PLAN IS RUINED ONCE AGAIN BY YOU HORRIBLE DIRTY HUMAN MEATBAGS! I SWEAR TO THE TALLEST I WILL PERSONALLY DISINTEGRATE EVERY LAST ONE OF YOUR UGLY FACES! MY FURY WILL HAVE NO ROOM FOR MERCY AS I-" Zim continued screaming for a while, with Dib wondering if he should say something to comfort him, that won't end with Zim chasing him around while trying to rip him to pieces.
But then he looked back at the screen, and slowly an idea came to him. While flying up the building or even scaling it was impossible without forcing the attention of the entire city on them, there was another way they could get in. One that was…a little more in the spirit of a spy mission. Or a heist, but that was just details.
Dib looked back at Zim, who had ended his tantrum and instead was lying on a pile of paper on the floor with his face buried while muttering apathetically 'I hate you' and 'You disgusting worms' and everything in between. It was rather sad to look at, so Dib didn't mind that much snapping him out of it.
"Zim. I think I know a way we can get in…without needing to blow up half the building.."
"Zim would rather blow up the entire building but…" Zim then lifted himself from the floor and turned to face Dib.
"What do you have in mind, Dib-stink?" He asked with a teasing smirk.
"Well, it may make you happier to know that you don't have to do that much work…except redrawing that plan of the building. Oh, and also…you're going to have to get something to wear."
UOH, I wonder what Dib has got planned. Well, you gotta wait until the next chapter. Haven't got that much to say except thanks for the support of my story and for all the people using their time to read it. Thank you. See you next time, and have a good day!