The library

Milton Hall

Cambridgeshire

January 12th 1808

Alina preferred living in the country. Though she had not yet been presented at court and thus, was not properly 'out' in society- a gross failing on their part, decried Lady Milton-she knew that little happiness awaited her in London. Alina hadn't interacted much with the nobles that populated London but she knew how they thought, thanks to the generous lectures on the subject by her mother, who had been reinstated into her position as Alina's primary guide and teacher after Miss Price's removal to the madhouse and now seemed determine to have Alina declared the diamond of the season when she was presented to London society. Despite her mother's efforts-which included daily instruction in the art of conversation with fans, household management, appropriate behaviour and societal rules, piano playing and appearing pretty in different types of lighting-Alina knew that she would stick out like a sore thumb among next year's debutantes for she had no interest in capturing the attention of a gentleman and didn't possess the acting skills to pretend as if she did. Alina knew that she possessed little to none of what gentleman sought in their wives and going to London would be like having her inadequacy thrown in her face, each day she stepped out of her house.

She had tried explaining the same to her mother but Lady Milton had been adamant that the lessons would continue whether Alina consented or not and Lord Milton, perhaps happy to see his wife finally taking an interest in the welfare of their daughter, urged Alina to compromise and adjust with her Mother as well as she could. Alina, now awaited her brother's arrival with a feverish intensity for it would distract Lady Milton quite effectively and allow Alina to breathe.

'I beg your pardon, my lady', a quiet voice interrupted her reflections and Alina turned to see her friend (and lady's maid) standing in the doorway, her face illuminated by the dying fire.

'Finally found some time for your old friend?' Alina queried teasingly, a smile on her lips.

'The Viscount thought you might like a glass of hot milk before you go to bed', Sarah said, as she placed the glass on Alina's desk.

'I must applaud my brother's ingenuity', Alina quipped as she raised the glass to her lips. 'Such a sweet way of reminding one's sister that she should be in bed.'

'You have a milk moustache', Sarah said crossly as she wiped Alina's upper lip. 'You are almost seventeen, yet you cannot drink milk without giving yourself a milk moustache.'

'Oh Sarah', Alina exclaimed, 'What will I do without you?'

'Go around looking droll, I suppose', Sarah answered testily.

'My, aren't you in a foul mood this fine evening, Miss Sarah', Alina said. 'What is wrong?'

'Nothing', Sarah exhaled, before sinking into a chair before Alina. 'I needed to have a private word with you.'

'Consider me very intrigued, darling', Alina replied, her hands steepled beneath her chin. 'Do go on.'

'Frank and I are getting married', Sarah said tiredly. (Sarah had been infatuated with one of the Wentworth footmen ever since they had encountered him in London the previous year and he has returned her affections: visiting her several times in the village. This time, it seemed, he had proposed marriage).

'You are certainly excited', Alina said wryly. 'Nevertheless, I offer you my sincerest congratulations. May you live happily ever after.'

'He was so sure of my acceptance, that he discussed it with Lord Wentworth, who has arranged for me to be hired at his estate', Sarah continued, not meeting her friend's eyes.

'Oh', Alina said, after a few beats of silence. 'Well, while that is certainly presumptuous of him, it is a sensible step. You cannot be expected to live apart after being married!'

'I understand', Sarah shot back irritatibly, 'But what are you going to do without me? Who is going to clean your muddy hems, hide your letters and sneak you biscuits when you've been banished to your room?'

'Ah dear Sarah', Alina said, grinning even though her eyes glittered with unshed tears. 'You are going to miss me.'

'I am', Sarah answered as she began sobbing. 'I am going to miss you very much.'

Alina abandoned her warm chair to comfort her distraught friend and for a few minutes, they remained so, Sarah wrapped in Alina's embrace.

'So, what will be your position there?' Alina enquired when Sarah appeared to have regained her composure. 'For if it is one among the lower servants, I shall have Father talk to Lord Wentworth-'

'No, no, no', Sarah interrupted hurriedly. 'He has been very kind. Lud knows, there was no need for a lady's maid at Stanway House, yet he managed to create a vacancy.'

'Interesting', Alina commented. 'But who will you tend to, I wonder. As far as I know, there are no women at Stanway. Or has his father married again?'

'The Duke resides in London', Sarah replied. 'And Frank was very vague about it. He said I could attend visiting lady guests.'

'Any lady would bring her own lady's maid, don't you think?' Alina observed. 'Why would your assistance be required? It is certainly most puzzling..-'

'I am afraid I do not know', Sarah answered, wringing her hands. 'I did not think to question Frank…'

'Forgive me', Alina said immediately. 'It was just idle curiosity. My heartiest congratulations on your new employment.'

'Thank you', Sarah said, relieved. 'You will come to the wedding?'

'I shall not dignify that with an answer', Alina answered loftily, crossing her arms across her chest. 'If one of my closest friends questions my attendance to her wedding, then I shall be most displeased indeed.'

'I shall miss your dramatic self very much', Sarah said, smiling indulgently. 'But if you wish to avoid your brother's displeasure, I suggest you go to bed.'

'Speak of the devil', Alina interrupted airily, as she spotted her brother peeping into the library. 'And he is here.'

'Such a dismal welcome', Robert commented as he moved into the room. 'What have I done to deserve your apathy?'

'Apathy?' Alina repeated, her countenance a personification of innocence. 'Why brother, I merely sought to thank you for your thoughtfulness in sending me a glass of warm milk.' She raised the now empty glass towards him in a toast.

Sarah, meanwhile, made a quiet getaway.

'You are very welcome', Robert replied as he flopped onto the armchair opposite her, 'Why aren't you in bed? It's past midnight.'

'I could ask you the same', Alina said saucily.

'And I being the honest principled man that I am, would tell you that I was working on estate matters.'

Alina snorted. Loudly.

'For a man who was universally known as the wastrel wandered, that is a great thing indeed.'

'Wastrel wanderer', Robert huffed, 'I shall have you know that I'm being worked to the bone by father-'

'Father is away at the Darlingtons-'

'Doesn't mean I cannot his disappointed voice in my head whenever I think of running off to Greece or better Cyprus.'

'That my dear brother, is better known as a conscience', Alina said haughtily. 'I only wonder what caused it's latent appearance. It couldn't be a certain missy in Hertfordshire, could it?'

'I suppose it is an exercise in futility to ask you how you happen to know of my correspondence with 'the Hertfordshire missy', my omniscient sister.'

'Not omniscient', Alina argued. 'Merely more observant than your pea brained self. You should be thankful that I removed your letters, stupidly hanging out of books before Mother found them!'

'Dear Lord in Heaven', Robert exclaimed. 'Do you think Alexandra has read any of them?'

'Of course not!' Alina denied vehemently. 'She would have inundated you with questions if she had. Since I read some of them, I do have some questions.'

'Which I refuse to answer', Robert replied and turned away to leave the library.

'Ah-ha', Alina ran to stand before him and threw her arms out to block his way out of the library. 'I'm not letting you leave now that I have you in my clutches, my dear Robert Jonathan Fitzwilliam.'

'Such childish behavior', Robert taunted, chucking her on the chin. 'Alexandra would be heartbroken to see that her lessons are having so little effect.'

'My dear brother', sang Alina as she pushed him onto a sofa and stood over him menacingly, 'You will answer my questions unless you want me to drop a very incriminating bundle of letters right into Mother's lap.'

'You jest', scoffed Robert. 'You will never do it and we both know it.'

'Fine', Alina flopped onto the sofa beside him. 'But at least tell me why you have stopped writing Charlotte, I found a letter begging you to write her, dated around Christmas, I think?'

'So you can relay it to your friend Elizabeth and then, Charlotte?' Robert said angrily. 'I think not.'

'Robert', Alina chastised gently. 'You know I would never betray your confidence. And I'm no longer allowed to write Elizabeth, after she made some strange requests in her last letter which I think might have been the doing of her mother, rather than she but I digress. Why is Charlotte Lucas being deprived of the great pleasure that is your- '

'Fine!' Robert's cheeks were flushed an angry red colour. 'If you must know, our correspondence made Charlotte delusional, so I ceased writing her at once.'

'What do you mean?'

Robert huffed irascibly before continuing.

'Charlotte believes that our correspondence will culminate into marriage and since I have no such intentions, I cannot in good conscience, continue to correspond with her.'

'Since Charlotte is a woman of good sense..'

'And how would you know this, Miss Not-Omniscient?' Robert questioned harshly. 'As far as I recall, you only met her once.'

'Elizabeth said so, and I trust her judgement. Now, as I believe I was saying before I was rudely interrupted, Charlotte is a woman of good sense and she would never presume you wished to marry her, unless you implied it in some way, perhaps unknowingly. Have you explained why you would not write her anymore?'

'No. I haven't', Robert answered, shortly.

'You insult her', Alina said quietly. 'Her friendship has made you happy, yet you rest easy after cutting off all contact with her without an explanation. She deserves that much, doesn't she?'

'She does', Robert replied hoarsely, his eyes upturned towards the heaven. 'Lord knows, she deserves much better than anything I could ever give her.'

'She is in London', Alina continued. 'She is visiting her relations. If you wish to see her, you must hurry, for she will be gone in a month. Elizabeth sent me her address. You could write her a letter but a visit would be better, I think.'

'I'll think about it.'

'Very well.'

Alina knew that her brother had reached the end of his patience regarding this particular topic so she changed the subject.

'Sarah is getting married', Alina commented.

'I am aware', Robert replied. 'Her fiancé asked me for permission for her hand, since her parents are no longer in this world.'

'That was very nice of him', Alina said, surprised.

'He is a good man', Robert said wearily. 'He will take good care of her.'

'He has secured employment for her at Stanway', she informed. 'As a lady's maid.'

'It is kind of young Wentworth.'

'There are no women there, Robert', Alina said slowly. 'Why is he hiring her as a lady's maid?'

'How would I know?' Robert answered absently, his arms crossed behind his head, as he stared at the glowing embers of the fire. 'Perhaps, he wishes her to attend to his mistresses when he brings them home. Though bringing a mistress to your estate is certainly a big social gaffe, Niklaus has the charm to pull it off. Besides, he is unattached. '

'What is a mistress?'

This brought Robert out of his reverie. 'Forgive me', he said, contritely. 'I should not be talking to you of such things.'

'I am tired of this', Alina declared suddenly. 'I am very frustrated with all of you. Why do you not tell me anything? Why should I lead a sheltered, ignorant existence, unaware of all evil in the world? Do you think you can protect me forever? Or am I not strong enough to handle it?'

'It is not proper-'

'Dear God, Robert', Alina said angrily, 'It was not proper for you to correspond with Charlotte or learn to box and it was not proper for me to learn how to fence, ride astride and act as boyish as possible, but we did it didn't we? And it made us happy. What is wrong with ignoring propriety if it stops you from being happy? Now, you must tell me what a mistress is.'

'Have you ever asked your governess these questions?'

'Yes, I have', Alina answered passionately. 'And I was rapped on the knuckles for asking. Which is why I ask you. What is it that everyone insists on hiding from me?'

'I'm not sure', Robert said. 'They say that talking to young girls about these things destroys their innocence but how do they expect girls to protect themselves from degenerate rakes without knowing anything is beyond me. Knowledge is power after all.'

'Enlighten me then, brother.'

Robert considered her request for a moment and then leaned forward. 'Tell me, have you observed the farm animals mating?'

And then followed the most illuminating discourse of Alina's short life and by the end, Robert needed a cold compress and a bottle of Brandy.

Later that night, as Alina went to bed she felt extremely angry at Niklaus for hosting those ladies and horrified at the prospect of her parents going at it (in Robert's words). Lord, she would have been happier not knowing.

Two nights later,

Outside Maverley,

Cambridgeshire

Alina shivered as she threw pebbles at Jason's window. She has already been standing in the cold for a quarter hour and he showed no signs of waking up. If he didn't get up soon, she was going back to Milton Hall, before she caught her death of cold. Her prayers were answered as Jason opened his window and leaned his tousled head out of it.

'Allie, are you crazy?' he hissed. 'What are you doing here at this time of the night? You should be in bed, it's so cold.'

'I want to see you, let me in please', Alina pleaded as she pulled her shawl tighter around her.

He cursed and then moved his head inside. The window closed with a quiet click and soon after, the kitchen door opened and Jason came running out, a blanket in his arms. He wrapped her in a blanket and then picked her up with a grunt and carried her into the house. Alina pressed her cold nose against his bare chest and he hissed again.

'Do you have any idea how wrong this is? Your father would have my head if he found out', he said to her as he carried her to the library.

'I don't care', Alina replied, her teeth chattering. 'I needed to see you so here I am.'

'Allie, you really have lost your mind. If anyone finds out that you're here, we're both dead, I'm telling you! What was so urgent that you couldn't wait till morning, you silly chit?'

'Warm me up and I'll tell you', Alina said as she snuggled closer to him. Gods, he was so warm. He shivered as her cold body sought out his warmth. She was so cold and he was scared that she'd catch pleurisy, she had been out in the cold for so long. Idiotic girl!

He laid her down on the furs before the fireplace in the library and then moved to light the fire.

'Don't go, Jason', she said weakly. 'You're so warm.'

'I'm coming back, Allie, just let me light the fire to warm up the room.' He arranged some logs and paper in the fireplace and lit a match. The paper caught and soon the fire was blazing merrily. He looked back at Alina and she was curled up on the rugs, shivering as she rubbed her arms and legs to warm them.

'I think you need some brandy', he poured her some in a glass. He had to help her sit up and he put his arm around her and held the glass to her lips as she sipped the brandy slowly. As she drank, he could feel her body relax and she snuggled into his side with a contented murmur when the glass was empty.

He kept the glass aside and pulled her in his lap. He wrapped the blanket around them and pulled her into his chest. She wrapped her arms around him and settled her head in the crook of his neck.

'Allie, I need to check if your clothes are wet', Jason gently pulled her chin to face him. 'I'm sorry but we have no choice.'

'I trust you', Alina said hoarsely and he swallowed at the look in her violet eyes. 'I'll be quick,' he said. He ran his hands over her clothes to see if any of them were wet from the snow but her clothing was dry. He pulled off her boots and checked her socks. They were damp so he removed them. He rubbed her cold feet with his hands until they were warm and she sighed against his neck. It affected him more than he cared to admit but he couldn't move her out of his arms until she warmed up so he resigned himself to the torture. She pressed her feet against his leg, her feet curving to settle against his thigh.

They sat there for a half hour, Jason waited until she stopped shivering. 'Allie, why are you here? I know your Mother has forbidden you from seeing me.'

'You know I don't deal well with orders', Alina replied but Jason didn't chuckle as she expected him to.

'As much as I love seeing you and as stupid as I think your Mother's dictates, coming to see me like this is wrong, Allie. You're no longer a child and the way we are now, your father would see us engaged by morning if knew.'

'You're going back to Eton, Jason', Alina said quietly. 'And I won't be here in the summer when you come back. I'll be in London, learning how to become an attractive prospect on the marriage Mart. I wanted to see you, one last time before my life changes forever.'

'Allie, we'll always be friends, you must know that', Jason said, cradling her cheek. Alina covered her hand with hers.

'I know', she said. 'Which is why I want to do this.'

And then she leant up to press her lips to his.

'Allie', Jason pushed her back, holding her firmly by the shoulders. 'What are you doing? What are you saying?'

'Jason', Alina said patiently, holding his gaze. 'I'm going to London soon and I don't have the faintest clue about when I will see you next. So I wanted to see you. I have also never been kissed and I wanted my first kiss to be with you. What I did, could qualify as a kiss but it would be a very poor one. Would you like to try again?'

'Allie', Jason pressed his forehead to hers, his eyes closed. 'I love you, I do but I don't think we'll be a good match.'

'I'm not proposing, Jason! I just want to see how it feels to kiss someone and you're the only one I could ask.'

'You didn't ask', Jason said.

'No, I didn't and I'm sorry. Will you kiss me?'

'I shouldn't, Allie', he said, turning his face away. 'I do not want to take away your innocence. You're perfect, as you are.'

'Jason, you are a fool if you think that you shall be some despoiler of innocents if you kiss me. I hold you in great affection, I trust you with my reputation and thus, I asked you. Now, I'm pretty sure I could convince Harold Madison to kiss me, if you are so unwilling-'

'Oh, shut up', he grinned and pulled her closer and as she twined her arms about his neck, he kissed her. Properly.

A few minutes later, as they both drew apart, Alina touched her lips in wonder. 'That was wonderful, Jason', she grinned, 'May we do it again?'

Jason looked at the clock as it struck one. 'We have some time', he grinned down at her and kissed her again.