A/N: I fucked up the last time I posted. I'm choosing to pretend like I never posted that version. To everyone that read that one, I'm sorry for any confusion.
I was in a state of mind where I shouldn't have been writing. I took the last few weeks to regroup.
I am medicated now, though. So, that's a plus.
Happy reading.
5. Labyrinth
Uh oh, I'm falling in love
Oh no, I'm falling in love again
Oh, I'm falling in love
I thought the plane was going down
How'd you turn it right around
- Labyrinth, Taylor Swift
I stood at the edge of the lake looking out, like I did most mornings, watching as the trees swayed in the breeze, shedding their leaves that fluttered to the ground. It was early November. I've been here a month already. How had that happened? October had flown by so quickly; it was gone before I realized what was happening.
I smiled as I thought about the people I'd met and the friendships I'd made. I'd laughed more in the last month than I had the last two years. The nights at Billy's where we sang karaoke and the evenings spent at Angela's drinking Bloody Mary's and talking about books felt like they were slowly bringing me back to life. Being here had enabled me to heal in a way that I hadn't been able to before. For the first time in a long time, I was feeling hopeful.
My smile widened when a silver Volvo pulled up in front of the cabin. Edward stepped out carrying two cups of coffee. Over the last few weeks, it had become our routine that he would join me on the mornings he had off. It was a ritual that I looked forward to, the mornings I now took these walks alone, felt lonely, such a contrast to the joy I'd found in the solitude before.
Being alone no longer held the same appeal it once did. Very rarely was I at the cabin during the day anymore. Most days, Two Beans in a Pod was my office, and more often than not, I was having lunch with Angela and Claire. I'd even spent a few of my evenings at Book Nook helping them do inventory.
The rare days I didn't have plans, I found I was restless, needing to get out. On those days, I spent time exploring the town, finding new things that made me fall more in love with Fontana than I had been before. I'd spent hours exploring the two antique shops, finding an older Nikon camera that I'd purchased for Leah as a Christmas present. I'd been there so often, the women that owned the stores knew me by name.
Small towns had never held much appeal to me, but there was something about Fontana that seeped into my soul and made it feel like home.
The man walking toward me with a soft smile and warm eyes only added to it.
"Good morning, beautiful." He said as he neared me, handing me one of the coffees, his words making my heart flutter. It had become his greeting to me. I had many texts on phone of him sending those words to me, and my body reacted the same way every time.
"Good morning." I greeted, that smile on my face refusing to leave, and I never wanted it to.
"How's my girl today?" His fingers came up, brushing along my cheekbone as he tucked a stray strand of hair behind my ear, the burning warmth following the trail left behind by his fingers. I craved his touch and always found it wasn't enough.
My breath left me. He clearly had no idea what it did to me when he said shit like that. "Better now."
He smiled down at me, the corners of his eyes crinkling in a way that I found incredibly sexy. Really, I found most things he did incredibly sexy.
We started our circuit around the lake, a comfortable silence between us. His arm came around my shoulders, my own wrapping around his waist in a way that was so natural now that I didn't even realize we'd done it.
"Do you have plans for tomorrow night?" He asked after a while.
"Well, it is Friday." I pointed out. Fridays typically equaled Billy's.
"I was thinking we could do something else."
I looked up at him, my interest piqued. "What did you have in mind?"
"I was thinking I could make you dinner."
"You cook?" I asked, surprised. He was so busy that I assumed he sustained on quick grab meals the way I did. "Like edible food?"
He laughed, throwing his head back the way he did when he found something especially funny. "Yes, edible food." He replied once he'd gotten some of this composure back. "What do you say? Will you have dinner with me?"
"You do still owe me dinner." I pointed out, referencing our conversation outside Two Beans in a Pod from a few weeks ago.
"That I do."
"Then, yes, Dr, Masen. I will have dinner with you." I agreed.
"I was hoping you'd say yes."
We lapsed into silence again, before I said: "It kind of feels like I just say yes to a date."
"That's because it is." He stated simply. He was always so confident, and it made him that much more attractive.
"Does that mean I'm your girlfriend now?"
He came to a stop, turning me to face him. He looked so serious that it made me nervous. "I hope so."
I gaped slightly at him. I'd only been teasing, but he was absolutely serious. He wanted me to be his girlfriend.
"I've wanted you to be mine since I first saw you in the bar, Ms. Swan. I'd be honored if you'd be my girlfriend." He didn't wait for me to reply before he bent down, taking my lips with his. He knew my mouth so well now, that he knew exactly when to time each stroke, nip, and suck to leave me breathless.
"You don't fight fair." I gasped when he pulled back just enough to let me catch my breath.
"I never claimed to." His teeth nipped my bottom lip and I whimpered.
I looked into his green eyes that were flecked with gold, seeing all of his emotions on display. For the first time, I saw uncertainty in those emerald irises. Did he really think I'd say no?
"Yes," I bit my lip to contain my smile. "I'll be your girlfriend."
The look of utter joy on his face as he leaned in to kiss me again made my heart soar.
-IS-
I took a sip of my third latte of the day, my fingers flying across my keyboard. I was in the back corner of Two Beans in a Pod, my Air Pods in my ears as I listened to my writing playlist as I worked. It was quiet for a Thursday afternoon, just me and the barista, who'd already taken more of my money today than was appropriate. My hands slightly shook at all the caffeine that I'd had, but I was too in the zone to care.
My phone ringing on the table next to me, jarred me out of my writing stupor, as it cut off my music. It took a second to surface, but when I did, I found Leah's smiling face on my screen as it continued to play her ringtone.
"Hey, you." I answered brightly. While I talked to my family most days in our group chat, it had been a while since I'd heard any of their voices.
"Hey, Bee." Leah chirped in her Leah way that somehow made me miss her more. "How's it goin'?"
"It's going." I replied, taking another sip of my coffee. "Getting some work done. What's up with you?"
"Mom and I are on our way to lunch." Leah said and I could hear our mom's voice in the background.
"Where are you going?"
"Primo for pizza."
The memory of their pizza had my mouth watering. "Oh my God, that sounds so good."
I could hear our mom talking again. "Mom says hi, by the way."
"Put it on speaker, I want to talk to her." I requested. It hadn't actually spoken to mom since before I left, and it made me feel a little guilty.
Leah told me to hold on a second before our mom's voice filled the phone. "Hi, baby."
"Hi, mom. I'm sorry I haven't called."
"It's okay," she told me in her way that made everything not sound like a big deal, but I could tell she was a little hurt. "How's it going up there?"
"It's going well. I've made some friends. I'm actually leaving the cabin; can you believe it?"
She laughed. "I'm happy it's going well. We miss you."
Her words made the homesickness that always lurked at the edges of my consciousness make itself known. "I miss y'all, too."
"We're not going to keep you. I just wanted to check in." Leah said.
"I'm glad you did. Have fun at lunch." I told them before we said our goodbyes.
"Hey, Bee." Leah spoke before I could hang up.
"Yeah?"
"You sound like you again."
I smiled, "I'm starting to feel like me again."
-IS-
Edward's house was a ten-minute drive from my place, located in a neighborhood of modest family homes off downtown. Even though his house was two-stories, it was on the smaller side, with a white painted brick façade. The lawn was perfectly manicured, as well as the bushes that sat beneath the front windows. A single car garage was attached, the bottom of the door was open slightly, like it was stuck. It was both what I expected and not at the same time. I didn't imagine him living in a sprawling mansion, but I didn't imagine something this small, either.
I pulled into the driveway, parking behind his Volvo, taking a moment to calm my nerves. It had been a minute since I'd been on a date, and I wasn't sure how to act anymore. I'd been with Paul so long that dates weren't exactly something we did often near the end. I shook my head, the memory of him leaving a bad taste in my mouth.
Getting out of the car, I rubbed my hands down my jeans. I'd worn the nicest things I'd brought with me: dark wash skinny jeans, a purple sweater, and heeled booties. And if I chose the jeans, I did because of the way they made my ass look? Well, that's something I'll never confess to.
I walked up the front porch steps to the front door and rang the doorbell that I could hear echo in the house. Moments later, Edward was before me in a white button that he had the sleeves to rolled up to his elbows, jeans, and socks.
He smiled when he saw me, throwing a hand towel over his shoulder. "Hi."
"Hi." I replied, smiling like a teenager as I stood on his porch in the freezing November night.
"Come in." He took a step back to let me in. "Can I take your coat?"
As soon as I stepped into the house, I was greeted with the most delicious scent, my mouth immediately watering. "Oh my God, what is that smell?" I asked as he helped me out of my coat, placing it on the rack by his front door.
"That would be dinner." He replied, taking my hand as he led me further into the house, past the stairs and living room where a fire crackled, to the back of the house where the kitchen was.
As I walked further into the space, I took in the dark wood cabinets and granite counter tops. It wasn't perfectly clean, there were a few dishes in the sink and a box of cereal sat on the counter next to the fridge. There was a lidded pot on the stove that steamed.
"Your kitchen is nice." I told him while he walked over to the stove, taking the lid off the pot to give it a stir. It was smaller than the one in my parent's house, but just as nice. I could see my mom and sister happily spending hours cooking here.
"Jake and some of the guys from his shop helped me redo it. They also helped me with the master bath." He looked around the space. "My intention was to flip it and sell, but after all the work I put into it, I couldn't bring myself to."
"When did you buy this place?" I looked at him over my shoulder as I walked further, coming to the entrance of the dining room.
"2020 when the housing market was so good." He followed me with his eyes, watching me as I made my way through his space. "It gave me something to do during quarantine so I wouldn't go crazy." He went to the fridge, taking out a bottle of white wine.
"It's nice." I commented, coming back toward him, watching as he poured some wine into two stemless glasses before handing me one.
"Dinner's going to be a few more minutes." He motioned his head toward the stove. "Would you like to see the rest of the house?"
"I'd love to."
"You've seen the kitchen," he motioned to the space, walking to the left toward the dining room and flipping on the light. "This is the dining room."
It was a small space, like the rest of the house, painted in a rich, warm red that reminded me of the changing leaves in the fall. A hutch stood in the corner that held what looked like family heirlooms stood in the corner. A door that led to the backyard was behind the dining table, and I could see the outline of what looked like a pool in the fenced yard.
"The dining set was my mother's." He ran his hand along the surface, looking lost in thought for a moment. The oak table reminded me of the one in my grandparents' dining room, the dings and scratches on the surface, adding character. "None of my brothers wanted it and I couldn't let it sit in storage."
"It's like having a piece of them." I commented. "That's what I like about the cabin. It was exactly how my dad left it."
"Yeah, it is." He chewed his lower lip. "We had so many family dinners at this table. So many family arguments at this table."
"If there was a family dinner at our house, it usually equaled an argument. Usually between me and Jessica. She was always stealing my stuff." The biggest source of contention in our house growing up was Jessica always wanted to be like me. If I bought something, she bought the same thing, or stole it from my closet. Our biggest argument had been when she stole my Urban Decay Naked palette that I'd spent weeks saving for and shattered it. Looking back now, it was all stupid stuff.
"Our parents were usually yelling at Emmett for whatever stupid shit he'd pulled at school." He shook his head in a laugh. "He was always getting suspended."
"If one of my sisters or I had gotten suspended, it would've been World War III at our house."
"That was essentially what it was like." He laughed at the memories. "Our mom especially, had a temper and they'd just go at it." He grows quiet, a contemplative expression coming to his face as his smile fades. "It's weird. The things I hated the most when they were alive, were what I missed the most once they were gone. Like the fights. Our house was too quiet after."
"My dad had this habit of lecturing us. Usually about our behavior when we were young. They'd go on for hours. Even after we were adults and had moved out, he'd still lecture us." I remembered the lecture he'd given me at one of the last family meals we'd had about me needing to get out and meet people. "I hated it. But once he was gone, all I wanted was for him to lecture me again." When we lose someone, they take a piece of us when they leave, so we'll never be whole again. The wound never heals, it just gets easier to live with.
We made our way from the dining area and into the living room. This was the space that looked the most lived in. An older looking leather couch sat in front of a fireplace that had a TV hung above it, with magazines on it, along with some unopened mail. A blanket was thrown haphazardly over the back of the couch, and I found it endearing. A narrow bookcase filled to the brim with CDs caught my attention and I walked towards it.
"You really love music." I commented, taking in all the different genres and artists. I heard him walking toward me, but I was too preoccupied. "Can you play an instrument?"
"Not a note." He commented, coming to stand next to me. "My mom could play piano, and she always wanted one of us to play. She was really disappointed when none of us had any musical ability."
"I always wanted to play guitar, but never had the patience to learn." My parents had gotten me a guitar for Christmas one year, and I'd been so excited. But when it actually came to taking lessons, that's where my interest dwindled. "What's your favorite band?"
"Hmm," he came to stand behind me, his front against my back as his finger traced along the CDs. "I really like Aerosmith, they're definitely a favorite." He spoke lowly, his lips brushing my ear in a way that sent shivers down my spine. "I also really like Billy Joel." The hand he'd been using came to rest at my waist. "But I think the Rolling Stones are my absolute favorite. She's a Rainbow is my all-time favorite."
"I love the Rolling Stones, too. They were my dad's favorite band, and we'd blast them on road trips."
"We have a lot in common." He kissed the spot below my ear, and I sucked in a breath.
"That we do."
"Come, I'll show you the upstairs." He took my hand, leading me toward the staircase that sat by the front door. The stairs creaked as we ascended, showing their age, and all the while, he held my hand.
"This is the first bedroom," he said once we got to the top of the stairs, pointing to a door on the left. "It's also my home office."
I looked into the room, the light from his desktop computer was the only source of light.
"Second bedroom." He pointed to a door on the left once we'd walked a bit further. "It will be a guest bedroom, but right now it's empty." We walked a little further. "Main bathroom." We got to the end of the hall, where he flicked the light on in his bedroom. "Master bedroom." He stepped aside, leaning his shoulder against the door jamb, letting me inside.
I walked cautiously into the room. The bed was in the center, the bedspread mussed, and it made him seem more real in that moment. The nightstands on either side held matching lamps and I could tell that he slept on the left side because an empty glass and a book sat on the table. The dresser sat in front of the bed, another TV above it.
He walked by me, his fingers brushing my back as he did. "And master bath." He turned the light on, once again, letting me go first.
I took in the space. A standing shower was on the left with a rainfall shower head. The counter housed his and her sinks, but the soaking jacuzzi on the right side of the room under a window of frosted glass was what dreams were made of.
"Oh my God," I said, walking over to the tub, leaning against the side. "I could live in this tub."
"I must admit, I've never used it." he told me, taking a sip of wine as he looked at me from where he was leaning against the door jamb.
"That's just wrong. You'll have to remedy that, Dr. Masen." I teased.
He shrugged. "I've never had any company." The heat in his eyes makes his message clear and I swallow. He pushes off the doorjamb, breaking the tension in the room. "We should get back downstairs before I burn dinner."
-IS-
"Can I do something to help?" I asked, looking over his shoulder as he puts the leftover chicken and dumplings in a container, setting my bowl on the counter.
He shook his head. "I got it. What you can do," he hands me my now refilled glass. "Is take this and go relax."
I took the glass, rising up on my tiptoes to give him a kiss before I wandered out of the kitchen and into the living room.
The fire had died down some since my arrival, but it still glowed and crackled in the fireplace, giving the occasional pop. I took my time to look around the room, taking pictures that were on a table behind the couch. They were various family photos. I could pick out Edward from several of them, along with his brothers. A particular one with a woman with auburn hair and emerald, green eyes caught my attention. She was standing on a beach, hair blowing in the wind, smile wide as she looked at the camera.
"Is that your mom?" I asked when he walked in.
He smiled softly, looking down at the picture I was referring to. "Yeah."
I looked back at her, the emerald eyes so familiar. "You look so much like her."
"That picture was taken a few months before. We took a family vacation to the Outer Banks. She loved the beach." He looked wistfully at her, a sadness I'd only seen once before invading his eyes for only a moment. "I'm happy you came tonight." He commented, changing the subject, taking a seat on the couch.
I followed him, sitting next to him on the smooth leather. "I'm happy I came tonight."
He put his arm around my shoulders, pulling me against his side, thumb stroking my shoulder.
We were quiet as we listened to the fire, the flames flickering in the fireplace. We sat there like that for a while, his fingers starting to draw mindless patterns along my arm. I looked up at him, my eyes meeting his and he smiled, leaning down to kiss me.
Kissing him had become as easy as breathing. His groan when our tongues met had the heat inside me blazing and I couldn't take it anymore.
I rose, moving so I was straddling him, my mouth never leaving his. I could feel the breath he released through his nose at my change in position. When I ground against him, he finally broke our kiss, breathing heavily.
"Bella," he looked at me with a conflicted expression. "We don't… I didn't…"
"I know," I bucked my hips against his again, feeling him harden beneath me. "It just feels right." He gripped my thighs, meeting my next thrust with one of his own. I closed my eyes, twisting the fabric of his shirt between my fingers and told him the truth. "I want you so bad it hurts."
He released a breath, his hands momentarily holding me tighter. "Bella." When he said my name, his voice was deep gravel, igniting the fire. The look on his face had my mouth going dry. His eyes were impossibly darker green, the pupils blown. He looked feral, like a predator stalking their prey. A spike of arousal went through me, causing my thighs to clench. "Are you sure?"
"Yes."
He kissed me then, his mouth taking mine in a bruising his. Gone were the gentle kisses I'd grown accustomed to from him. In their place were harsh nips to my bottom lip, his tongue dominating mine. The fact that he couldn't control himself only served to turn me on further. I whimpered, my fingers burying themselves in his hair, trying to bring him closer. It wasn't enough. God, it wasn't enough.
His hands gripped the back of my thighs as he stood from the couch. I gasped, my lips breaking from his at the motion, my legs wrapping around his waist. He smiled. I leaned my head back on an exhaled breath when his lips found my neck, leaving open mouthed kisses as he walked us toward the stairs.
My fingers threaded themselves through his hair, toes curling as he sucked on the sensitive skin where my neck met my shoulder. We were walking into his bedroom then, the dark room lit only by the light from the bathroom.
He placed me on the bed, and I reached for him as he came to rest between my legs. He was too far away, and I needed him closer. So much closer. Our lips met again, moaning as his tongue stroked mine. With fumbling hands, my fingers started to work open the buttons on shirt. I didn't get very far though. Edward's hands came over mine, stretching my arms over my head, fingers threading through mine.
"Don't rush me." The desperation in his voice was the only reason I didn't protest.
The kiss he gave me then was slow and I squeezed his hands. I was crawling out of my skin, and he was going too slow. It was exquisite torture.
Goosebumps erupted across my skin when his hands slid from mine, the tips of his fingers trailing whisper soft along the skin of my arms, toying with the straps of my dress once they met the fabric. His lips broke from mine then, and I took in a deep, gasping breath as he placed soft, sucking kisses along my jaw, gently nipping when they made their way down my neck. My hands buried themselves in his hair, pulling hard, harder than I should, but he just moaned in return. His tongue gently laved my collarbone. Until this moment, I didn't know that was such an erogenous zone for me and I tilted my neck back to give him better access. The fingers of his right hand toyed with the edge of my sweater before slowly starting to drag it up my torso. I sat up to help him get it over my head, where he then threw it over the side of the bed, leaving me in my pink lace bra.
He sat there on his knees on the bed in front of me, his throat working as he swallowed, eyes drinking me in.
"Every time I think you couldn't get more gorgeous; you prove me wrong." His fingers made a trail of fire between my breasts as they ghosted along the exposed skin there. His words of praise settled in my chest, wrapping around my heart.
The warmth of his hands burned the skin of my back as he undid the clasp, sliding the straps down my arms.
"Edward." I gasped, his head leaning down to capture my nipple. I moaned, the sound coming from deep within my chest.
His mouth went to my other nipple, tongue circling it, sending sparks of pleasure between my legs and I moaned.
"Edward, please." I begged. I was begging and I didn't care. "Just… please."
"I've got you, Bella." He brushed his lips against mine. "I'll always take care of you."
There was a double meaning there, I knew it, but my muddled brain couldn't decipher it because his hand made its way between my legs, where they dipped beneath the waistband of my jeans and started stroking my clit through my panties, scrambling my thoughts further.
"Is that what you needed?" he asked, his hand continuing to work between my legs.
I nodded, opening my legs wider to give him better access, groaning when two of his fingers entered me, making my legs shake. I bit my lip at the slight burn of the stretch, but it felt good. Too good.
"Fuck." He breathed against my lips, starting to get as lost as me. Every thrust of his hand had him hitting a spot inside me that had pleasure skyrocketing through my body.
I whimpered when he stopped his ministrations to undo the button on my jeans, fingers hooking into the waistband and dragging them down my legs. I lifted my hips to assist him in ridding me of them. He threw them and my booties over the side of the bed where they mingled with my sweater and bra.
Not able to take it anymore, I sat up, starting to work the buttons open on his shirt. This time, he didn't stop, his fingers working with mine to rid him of his shirt that quickly followed my clothes to the floor. His breath hitched as I traced the planes of his chest down along the soft ridges of his abs.
"Bella." He spoke softly and I met his eyes with mine. He was looking at me with emotion filled eyes. Leaning down, he kissed me, guiding me to lie back on the bed, fingers hooking into the sides of my underwear, sliding them down my legs.
My head tilted to the side, giving him more room as his kisses went down my neck. I let my hands explore the warm skin of his back, running my fingertips down the line of muscle along his spine until my fingertips met the top of his jeans, lightly dipping below the fabric and I reveled at the shiver I felt roll through his body.
Edward took his time making his way down my body, leaving gentle kisses on neck, shoulders, and chest. All the while watching as he made his way between my legs.
I bit my lip at the sight of him shirtless between my spread thighs. The look of predatory desire was a sharp contrast to the soft stroking his fingers were doing up my thighs, hissing when his fingers found my center. I was so turned on that it was almost embarrassing.
"Fuck." I heard him saying, whimpering when his fingers brushed my clit.
"Please," I beg, bucking my hips toward his curious fingers, my eyes pleading with his. I'm so aroused that it actually hurts. He had me at his mercy, he was stoking the fire inside me hotter and hotter, and he knew it. I clutched the bedding in my hands, getting lost in the sensation of his lips kissing on the inside of my thigh.
"Edward, please!" I begged. "Please…" My plea died on my lips at the feel of his fingers spreading me apart and his tongue sweeping along my slit.
My body melted into the mattress as I gave myself over to the pleasure of what he was doing to me. His tongue teased my entrance, then licked its way to my clit where he lightly swirled his tongue around the bundle of nerves, making me mewl in response. He was working me into a frenzy, and I writhed on the bed beneath him, my fingers gripping his hair. My back bowed of the bed when he sucked my clit into his mouth, causing me cry out his name.
"Fuck!" I cried when two of his fingers slowly started to enter me, curling them up, hitting a spot inside me that made me almost come off the mattress.
He worked me like this for what felt like hours, bringing me to the brink with fast flicks of the tongue to my clit, then bringing me back down with languid strokes along my folds. I bit my lip when a third finger entered me easily.
"Edward." I moaned. It was getting to the point that I couldn't take it anymore. He'd brought me to the brink and refused to let me fall over the edge. My hips flexed off the mattress as his fingers manipulated my G-spot in a way he only ever had. I didn't know that it could be like this; that it could feel this good.
"Please," I begged, at my breaking point. It was too much. "Please, please."
Having mercy on me, he threw me over the edge by bringing his mouth back to my clit, sucking it between his lips. I screamed as I came, lights flashing behind my closed eyes. My legs shook like leaves as I tried my hardest not to clamp them around his head. He was making me feel so good.
When I came back to earth, a light sheen of sweat covering my body, I used the hand still buried in his hair to drag him up my body, kissing him with everything that I was worth.
"Please." I spoke against his lips, my hands working on his belt. "I want you."
"You'll have me." He was just as breathless as me.
Standing from the bed, he took his shoes off and they fell to the floor with a soft thud. I watched as he undid his pants, his thumbs hooking into the sides of them and his boxer briefs, shoving them down his legs. My breath hitched when he was finally naked before me. Why did he have to be so perfect everywhere?
His knee came down on the mattress as he crawled back on the bed, covering my body with his own.
"Please. I can't wait." I stroked his cheek.
Kissing me softly, he reached over to his bedside table, taking out a condom, ripping it open with his teeth. I peppered kisses along his jaw, my tongue dragging along his stubble as he sheathed himself in the condom. I spread my legs wider, giving him more room to settle between them.
"Are you sure?" he asked.
"I'm sure." I nodded. "Edward, please."
He came to rest on his forearms on either side of my head, his full weight on top of me, consuming me in a kiss. I sucked in a breath as he started to enter me, stretching me and filling me in a way I hadn't been in a long time. The slight burn was a bit overwhelming.
"Okay?" he asked when I made a sound of discomfort.
I nodded, "Just give me a minute."
He stayed still, waiting for me to give him the green light. Once I did, he gave a shallow thrust that had him entering me deeper than before. He kept this rhythm until he was fully inside, his hips resting fully against mine so there was no space left between us and I gripped his shoulders, overwhelmed.
"You feel so good." He whispered into my cheek with trembling lips. "Can I move?"
"Please."
He pulled back, giving a slow, firm thrust back in that had me gripping his shoulders tighter, nails digging into his skin. The second thrust had me losing my breath. This wasn't normal. He wasn't supposed to be good at this. He wasn't supposed to hit places inside me that made me see stars. He wasn't supposed to make me feel like my soul was leaving my body. Sex in real life wasn't supposed to be this good.
"Are you okay?" His voice quivered as he continued to move inside me, sweat gathering on his brow. He looked otherworldly.
I pushed some of the hair back from his forehead causing him to close his eyes momentarily at the contact. "I'm okay." I was more than okay. I felt like I was dying, but for a completely different reason now.
"Does it feel good?" I could tell he didn't ask just to be sexy. He cared about me getting just as much pleasure as he did, and that was the sexiest thing I'd ever experienced in my life.
"So good." I wrapped my arms around his neck, bringing him fully down on top of me, and that was the little extra bit I didn't know I needed. "Don't stop. Please, don't ever stop."
"Never," he gripped the back of my knee, hitching it higher on his hip, making him go just a bit deeper. "I'll never stop."
There was that double meaning again, but I'd completely checked out at this point, and I couldn't quite grasp what he meant. It was right there, but I just couldn't get to it.
"Edward." I gasped, panic edging my voice. The fire that had been building all night was finally reaching its breaking point. It was going to consume me whole, burn me to the ground until there was nothing left.
"I'm right here." He took my hands in his, raising them above my head. "I've got you. Just let go."
I couldn't have held on if I tried. It started in my toes, slowly seeping up my legs until it settled low in my belly, where it flared out, taking me under.
I cried out, but I don't know if I actually said anything. I'd experienced orgasms before, but all of them paled in comparison. It wrecked me in the best way possible, and it maybe should've scared me, but it didn't. I let it consume me whole, take me under completely.
Edward's thrusts had become a deep grind, prolonging the searing pleasure for far longer than I thought possible. My hand shook as I ran it through his hair, the silky strands damp between my fingers. He kissed my palm as I ran hand down his cheek. The look in his eyes was overwhelming.
He'd stopped his movements as I came down and I knew he was waiting for me. He was waiting to make sure I was okay before he let himself go.
I arched my neck up, taking his lips in a searing kiss. The groan he released in response sent a bolt of arousal straight to where we were connected. How was it possible that I still wanted him? That I still wanted more?
"Take me." I breathed against his lips. "Let yourself go." I took his bottom lip between mine, lightly pulling it with my teeth. "Take me. Take all of me." A desperate sound I couldn't place left him then, as he took my mouth with his and I whimpered.
When he pulled back, his hand gripped my chin, making me look at him. "All of you?"
The string gave a sharp tug, and I finally understood the double meaning. "All of me."
He kissed me, his tongue seeking entrance that I gave willingly, and he started to move. Taking my body with his, giving me as much back as I gave him. Resting his forehead against mine, he speeds up his movements, his hand going to the headboard for leverage. I placed kisses wherever my mouth could reach. His neck, his face, his lips, everywhere.
Impossibly, I felt the tingles of another orgasm starting to build and I arched my back, not sure if I could take another like the last. But there was nothing I could do. Everything he did felt too good.
"Again?" he asked, surprised. I whimpered when he gave particularly hard thrust, my nails clawing his back, toes curling. "Again."
"Just like that. Don't stop." The desperation in my voice was evident. I was so close. I was almost there.
And he didn't. He kept going, wringing another climax from me that was somehow stronger than the first, before he came on a shout.
We collapsed in a heap on the bed, a tangle of sweaty limbs, lips brushing together as we panted.
"That was…" I started but wasn't able to finish. I didn't have any words for what that was.
He smiled softly. "It was."
"Edward…" I was flayed open, the words on my tongue, but they wouldn't come.
He placed his finger on my lips, the soft smile back on his face as his eyes searched mine. "I know." I swallowed. "But not until you're ready."
My hand wrapped around the back of his neck, bringing his lips back to mine, showing him with my actions how much he meant to me. The thought on repeat in my head making me hold him tighter and kiss him deeper.
We were falling in love.