Steven stepped off the plane, once again glad to be home. This assignment had taken him longer than he'd expected, and when he'd last spoken to John, he was in the midst of packing up and leaving.
That had been over a week ago, and Steven had been worrying about John ever since.
Not that he didn't think John was up to such a trip. No, he knew John was more than capable. They had gone over every detail, planned for nearly every contingency they could think of. It was John's mental state that gave Steven cause for concern. The last time Steven had visited, John was very much on edge, almost on the verge of a breakdown.
He seemed better by the time Steven left again, but that worry kept creeping in. And with no means to contact John, he simply had to trust that he'd make it.
After he collected his luggage, he went off in search of a pay phone. Marcy had been keeping an eye on the cabin while Steven was gone, and with any luck, she'd be around. He dropped a dime into the pay phone and dialed, waiting for someone to pick up.
"Hello?" Marcy answered in a voice just above a whisper.
"Hey, sis." Steven replied. "Just got in. Is everything okay?"
"John's here." Marcy told him quietly. "He made it here last night. I almost filled him full of buckshot."
"I'm glad you didn't." Steven managed a nervous laugh. "Is he okay?"
Marcy was silent for a long moment. "He's in pretty rough shape. I don't think he's slept much. Seems to be having a lot of nightmares."
Steven's heart sunk. He wasn't terribly surprised. "Well, hey, thanks for keeping an eye on things. I'll be home before too long. Just going to stop in town and pick up my mail."
"Do you want me to stay with him until you get here?"
"Only if you don't have anywhere you need to be."
"Nothing that can't wait."
Steven sighed. "Okay, thanks. I'll be home as soon as I can."
With that, they hung up, and Steven picked up his luggage, making his way to his truck in the parking lot. He shoved everything in the passenger side and climbed in, starting it up.
The old thing started up like a champ, hardly a given considering how long it had been sitting in these conditions. It had been a brutally cold winter, and Steven found himself needing to get used to the weather again. He could only imagine what a shock it had been to John.
Then again, John seemed to adapt easily to most conditions, though it had been entertaining to see him stomping through the heavy snow on his first winter trip here. They had headed out in the dark at John's insistence, determined to get a good look at the Northern Lights in all their glory.
From their vantage point along the river, they did indeed show their full colors, and John had been completely awestruck. "Wow."
Steven had nudged him. "That's all you have to say?"
"Well yeah." John had looked baffled. "What else is there to say?"
He had taken Steven's face in his gloved hands and kissed him then, and the warmth that had gone through him was greater than any fire could have provided.
John had let out a brief sigh once he broke it off, touching his forehead to Steven's. "Someday."
Well, someday was finally here, Steven supposed. He could hardly wait to see John, no matter what condition he was in.
He pulled up to the post office and hopped down, trotting inside to his box to gather the mail that had collected there in his absence. A couple of bills, an envelope that looked like it contained a check, a magazine, and finally, an envelope with John's familiar handwriting.
Once he returned to the truck, he immediately tore open the envelope from John. There were a few pictures from the Joshua Tree trip, along with a letter.
Steven,
I finally got the film developed from Joshua Tree. Think they turned out pretty good.
I turned in my resignation today. Thought for sure Cap was going to try and talk me out of it, just like Roy tried to. He didn't, just wished me well. I'm going to miss the place and the guys, but I'm damn sure not going to miss the job.
I'm packing now and trying to figure out what the hell to do with all my stuff. Marco suggested a couple of charities that can take my furniture, so I'll make some phone calls. The bookcase is coming with me. Hope you have room for it.
Can't believe I'm doing this. I can't wait to see you. Love you and miss you.
John
He folded it carefully and tucked it back in the envelope before going through the pictures. John had gotten a shot of him setting up for a shot, and Steven couldn't help laughing a little at that. It was a good shot, he had to admit, as were the rest of them.
John was getting pretty damn good at this. He'd improved a lot in their time together.
After stopping by the bank to deposit the check, he started toward home. It was a reasonably smooth ride until he turned onto the gravel road that would take him to the cabin. The road was frozen solid, and even going at a slow speed, Steven winced at every bump. There were certain modern intrusions he grumbled about, but if that intrusion included paving this road, that would be something he could get on board with.
Not that he didn't appreciate finally having electricity and a phone. It made certain aspects of his life a hell of a lot easier. He didn't love the extra expense, nor the sight of the power and phone lines over the trees.
Soon the cabin was in sight, along with Marcy's truck and John's Rover with the U-Haul trailer attached. At some point they'd have to get that unloaded, but perhaps not today. Today was definitely a day for resting up from their respective trips, and to be honest, spending the day in bed with John didn't sound so bad.
He shut off the truck and climbed down, rounding the front to start unloading from the passenger seat. Almost immediately, he was greeted by the familiar howling and barking of the dogs as they both trotted out to him, Marcy following close behind.
"Hello, hello." He spoke to the dogs, scratching both of them behind the ears before slinging a bag over his shoulder and picking up his other luggage.
Marcy offered a hand, and Steven passed her one of the bags. "Careful with that one."
"I know." Marcy assured him. "Your livelihood's in that bag."
"Exactly." Steven shoved the door closed and followed Marcy inside. As soon as he set down his bags, he noticed the John-shaped lump under the covers, though he was reluctant to disturb him.
Marcy touched him lightly on the shoulder. "I'm going to take off unless you need anything. You're all stocked up, so you should be in good shape for a few days."
"I appreciate it, thank you." Steven gave her a quick hug. "I'll let you know."
Once Marcy closed the door behind her, Steven let out a long sigh. He hung up his coat and took off his boots, setting them next to John's and crossing over to check the wood stove. After adding some more wood, he crossed over to the bed and slipped in under the covers, resting his arm over John's body.
John stirred and blinked, his brows knitting together in a puzzled expression. "What're you doing here?"
"I live here." Steven told him, kissing his forehead. "And so do you, apparently."
The puzzled expression changed to one of realization, his eyes going wide. "The trailer. I've gotta get that thing unloaded and dropped off somewhere. It's already costing me a fortune."
"Relax." Steven drew in closer, hoping to stave off John's growing agitation. "We'll take a little time to rest up, then we'll unload."
John huffed irritably, but otherwise made no move to leave the bed. That was fine with Steven. He was perfectly content just to have John here.
This was really happening. John was really here, and not just for a short visit, but for good. To say Steven was surprised when John had finally made that decision was an understatement. But of course, he was thrilled and maybe just a little scared. The idea of letting someone into his home on what might well be a permanent basis smacked of commitment, and that had never been his thing.
Until now.
John's hand came to rest on his arm, stroking lightly with his thumb in that way he often did when he was deep in thought about something. "Really should get that trailer unloaded and returned."
Steven couldn't help letting out a soft laugh, leaning over to kiss John. "Fine. We'll get that done, and then, well, I don't know."
John smiled ever so slightly. "Doesn't matter. I'm not going anywhere."
Something warmed in Steven at that. "Hope not."
That smile grew a little wider, and John suddenly rolled away. He was bundled up and halfway out the door as Steven scrambled to catch up. The two of them worked to unload the trailer, and Steven was amazed at just how much John had been able to fit in the thing.
Finally, they came to the last item in the trailer, the bookcase that John had somehow shoved in along the side. It took a lot of wrangling, but they managed to get it out of the trailer and into the cabin.
"Where's this going?" John asked as they took it inside.
Steven nodded toward a corner of the cabin. "Over there."
They walked it over and set it up, both of them breathing heavily. John's expression changed to a curious frown. "Did you have something else over here, or am I remembering that wrong?"
Steven rested his hands on John's shoulders. "No, you're remembering that right. I moved it. Wanted to make some room."
John's hand came to rest over one of his. "Huh."
"What?"
"Don't know." John's fingers curved around Steven's hand. "Just…you really did that for me?"
Steven kissed the back of John's neck. "Of course I did. Why wouldn't I?"
"I don't know." John answered quietly.
Steven let his hand travel down John's back and come to rest on his hip. "This was my home. Now it's our home."
John didn't respond, merely squeezed Steven's hand a little more tightly and leaned against him. Steven slid his hand from John's hip and wrapped his arm around him, pulling him as close as possible.
"Suppose I'd better figure out where to drop off the trailer." John finally commented.
As much as Steven wanted to drag John over to their bed and have his way with him, his sense of practicality won out, and he left one more kiss on the back of John's neck before letting him go. Maybe once practical matters were taken care of, John would be more amenable to what Steven had in mind.
They were soon in the Rover, bouncing along the frozen gravel road on their way to Fairbanks. With Steven directing, John pulled into the U-Haul lot, immediately shutting off the Rover and hopping down.
"Do you want a hand?" Steven offered as he did the same.
John shook his head from where he was unhooking the trailer. "Nah, I've got it. Just need to go in and pay."
Before Steven could respond, John was gone, disappearing into the office, emerging shortly thereafter and climbing back into the Rover, shivering almost imperceptibly. Steven could almost see John's mind working as he started up the Rover and pulled out.
"Where's the DMV around here?" He asked. "Probably should get that dealt with. Gonna look a little funny driving around with California plates."
Steven couldn't help letting out a short laugh. "You don't have to get everything done in a day. Relax."
John briefly eyed him skeptically for a moment before focusing on the road in front of him. "Just wanted to get all of it out of the way. Been here for…Christ, I don't know how long. Losing track."
"All the more reason to just go home." Steven pointed out. "We can relax, take our time unpacking, and you can do all of that another day."
John looked thoughtful before nodding. "I am feeling pretty beat."
It felt like a small victory, and Steven was glad to take it. John, for his part, seemed to relax a bit as he drove, and they fell into casual chatter for the rest of the drive back to the cabin.
John pulled up next to Steven's truck and shut off the Rover. He stared out through the windshield for a long moment, long enough that Steven was about to once again express concern.
That concern was alleviated when a slow smile crept across John's face. "We're home."
Steven let out a short laugh. "Yeah, I know."
John reached out and took Steven's hand in his. "I've never lived with anyone. Outside of family, I mean."
"Neither have I." Steven responded. "Going to take a lot of adjustment for both of us. But we'll figure it out."
"You keep saying that."
"Because it's true." Steven pointed out. "Change is hard, even if it's a change you want to make. And it's not going to be perfect, but it doesn't have to be. We're in this together, don't forget that."
John nodded, though he still looked doubtful. "Well, hey, suppose I'd better get to unpacking, seeing as I went to all the trouble of dragging all this stuff with me."
Steven quickly squeezed John's hand and let it go, and once they went inside, John started opening boxes and finding space for everything he'd brought with him. The dogs seemed especially interested, sniffing every box John opened and managing to be underfoot at nearly every turn.
He heard a yelp behind him while he was in the kitchen area, and he turned to see Pepper with his head down, his tail between his legs as John kneeled down in front of him.
"Aw, I'm sorry." John spoke gently to Pepper. "Here, let me see."
Steven couldn't help smiling ever so slightly. Apparently John's paramedic instincts extended to animals as well. "Is he okay?"
"Yeah." John sighed as he rose to his feet and scratched the top of Pepper's head. "Just stepped back without looking and stepped on his paw. I don't think I hurt him too much, more scared him."
"He's not the sharpest tool in the shed." Steven responded.
"Well, neither am I." John replied as he returned to unpacking his books and placing them on the shelves. "No wonder we get along so well."
"That's bullshit and you know it." Steven all but scolded him. "You had to be pretty damn smart to get through paramedic training, right? And it's not as if you've ever stopped learning."
John shrugged as he pulled out a pile of medical journals. "I guess. But I'm not doing that now. Feels like a waste."
"Not sure knowledge is ever wasted." Steven countered. "Besides, you don't know. You might find some other way to put that knowledge to use."
"Maybe." John answered quietly, resuming his unpacking while Steven got dinner going.
The whole scene reminded him of the time early in their relationship, after John had gotten hit by that car, how strange it had seemed to make soup on a warm southern California day.
But now this all felt right. Steven cut up vegetables while the beef browned in the pot, occasionally tossing a piece of carrot to Cinnamon while she patiently sat at his feet. John unpacked, talking to Pepper as the dog followed him all over the cabin.
This was exactly what had been missing in his life all these years. Steven had long thought of himself as a man who was content to live a solitary life, and maybe he would have been if it weren't for John.
"Pepper, that's not a toy." He heard John scold the dog in an exasperated tone. "For Christ's sake."
Pepper let out a howl that sounded as if his feelings were genuinely hurt, and Steven couldn't help laughing at the whole exchange. "Pepper, come here, buddy."
The dog obediently trotted over to Steven, sitting down next to him wagging his tail hopefully. Steven rewarded him with a chunk of carrot, and Pepper gobbled it up happily before looking up at Steven again.
Steven let out a short sigh. "Suppose I'd better get you mutts fed, huh?"
"I've got it." John crossed the room and found the dogs' bowls. "Same as usual, right?"
"Right." Steven nodded. One thing was for sure, they were going to have to figure out how to split these basic chores up.
But that was a problem for another time. In short order John filled the dogs' bowls and set them on the floor before crossing back to where Steven was stirring the pot on the stove.
John wrapped his arms around him with a huff, his head resting on the back of Steven's shoulders. Steven rested his free hand on John's arm, caressing lightly. "Give me a moment, then I'm all yours."
He was rewarded with a brief kiss on the back of his neck, but John otherwise made no move to let him go. "Mm-kay."
Steven gave the soup one final stir and put the lid on the pot before turning around in John's arms. John's expression was oddly undecipherable, and after a long moment, he simply pulled Steven in close, relaxing against him with a long sigh.
He responded in kind, oddly content to just have John close to him. Knowing that John wasn't going anywhere seemed to blunt the urgency he often felt whenever John was around. Not that his desire was diminished, not at all, but somehow, just having John here in the moment was enough.
Finally, John pulled back slightly, tilting his head briefly before leaning in and kissing Steven hard, his hands finding the tails of Steven's flannel shirt and sliding underneath.
"Dammit." John grumbled, tugging at Steven's thermal shirt. "Too many layers."
"Need them up here." Steven managed to answer.
"Not right now you don't." John murmured, finally finding his way underneath, his warm, rough hands spreading out over Steven's back as he started leaving a trail down Steven's throat with his mouth.
"Could same the same for you." Steven was barely able to get the words out, gently guiding John toward the bed.
No, not just the bed. It was their bed now.
Somehow the thought heightened Steven's desire further. They managed to somehow strip away most of their clothing before landing on the bed, almost immediately becoming nothing more than a tangle of limbs, hands and mouths wandering everywhere they could reach.
Eventually Steven wound up on his back with John straddling him, slowly working his way down, leaving a trail of kisses down his neck to the base of his throat, his tongue darting out at each spot. He was vaguely aware of John reaching over him and rooting through the drawer of the bedside table before returning, that damned crooked little smile on his face as he continued working his way downward until he was between Steven's legs.
He was nearly quivering in anticipation when he felt John's fingers slowly push inside him, and he let out a sharp sound somewhere between a gasp and a moan at the move.
John kissed him right where his thigh and hip met. "Okay?"
"Uh-huh." Steven managed to get out, running his hand over John's head. "Just don't stop."
John let out what sounded like a short laugh before Steven felt his fingers curl around his hard flesh, followed shortly by the familiar feeling of warmth and wetness as his mouth took over.
"Ah, goddamn, John." Steven blurted out, involuntarily bucking upward, losing himself in the sensation. He was close, so goddamn close.
And that's when John suddenly stopped, pulling out his fingers and shifting around again. It wasn't long before John's hands were on him again, sliding up his legs, almost bracing himself against them before slowly pushing into him, pausing for a moment before he got going again.
Any discomfort Steven felt was quickly forgotten, each stroke finding its mark deep inside him, and it was all he could do to hold on and ride it out, his whole body seeming to tense up before he let go with a long, rough groan.
John wasn't far behind, his hands clutching Steven's legs tightly for a long moment, that brief shudder going through him until he relaxed and let his hands slide down, leaving a brief kiss on the inside of Steven's thigh. "Still okay?"
"Yes, goddamnit." Steven laughed. "Come here."
John's expression changed to one of amusement as he moved to straddle Steven, leaning over to kiss him. "Maybe I should do that more often."
"Maybe you should." Steven agreed. "Doesn't always have to be one way or another."
"Yeah, suppose you're right." John moved so that he was resting on Steven's chest. "Doesn't matter that much, I guess. Either way I get to be with you. That's all that matters to me."
Steven was oddly touched at that. "You're getting sentimental on me."
"Maybe." John smiled ever so slightly. "Think you bring it out."
Pepper let out a long howl that sounded like a complaint, and Steven sighed heavily while John merely scoffed and shook his head. "Yes, yes, you've been very good and patient. I'll be right there."
"I'll let them out." John climbed off him and started to find his clothes while Pepper let out another mournful sound. "For Christ's sake, hold on. You can go outside with nothing on. I can't."
Steven climbed out of bed and found a towel to clean himself up quickly before finding his own clothes. It was getting a little chilly again, and he'd have to load up the woodstove before anything else.
Finally John was bundled up and talking to both dogs, attaching their leashes and starting out the door.
"Take one of those lanterns with you." Steven reminded him.
"Oh, yeah." John grabbed one of the battery-operated lanterns and turned it on with a nod. "Back in a while."
Steven couldn't help being slightly worried but shook off the thought. John would be fine. He'd navigated this area often enough that he knew what he was doing.
He loaded up the wood stove before returning to the simmering soup, adding in the barley and stirring. The cabin was starting to warm up again and the smell of soup wafted in the air. This was just what he needed. It was the perfect way to spend his first evening home.
The cabin door opened not much later, and the dogs trotted in, shaking themselves as John came in behind them and closed the door behind him. "Man, it's brutal out there."
"Soup's almost done." Steven told him. "It'll warm you up in a hurry."
John crossed the room and wrapped himself around Steven. "Think this might warm me up quicker."
Steven couldn't help laughing. "I'm sure it helps."
John kissed him on the back of his neck and pulled away. "Uh…you mind if I try to call Roy? I meant to call when I got in and kinda crashed before I could. I'll keep it short."
"Of course." Steven told him. "It's your place, too, remember?"
"Right, yeah." John still looked a little unsure but crossed over to the phone. Soon Steven could hear just a little of the conversation.
"Hey, Jo. Is Roy around?" John asked. "Damn, no, I forgot he was on duty today. I was gonna call when I got in, but…nah, just didn't want you guys to worry about me, you know?"
He chatted for a while longer before he hung up. "Roy's working. I forgot. Guess Jo's gonna have him call me when he gets home in the morning."
"Sounds like you had a good chat with her."
"Yeah, I did." John answered with a nod. "She did fuss at me a little because I didn't call for a couple days."
"Understandable." Steven responded. "Have to admit I was a little worried about you, too."
John's brows crinkled at that. "You were?"
"Well…yeah, of course I was." Steven answered. "Considering what kind of shape you were in the last time I saw you, coupled with a long drive in God knows what kind of conditions…"
John immediately took Steven's face in his hands, drawing him in for a quick kiss before pulling back, stroking his cheekbones with his thumbs. "You don't have to worry about me now. I'm here, and I'm not going anywhere."
"Good." Something about John's words triggered an unfamiliar emotion in him. He swallowed hard and cleared his throat. "Now, how about we get some food in you, huh?"
"Sounds good." John smiled slightly at that, and soon they were sitting by the wood stove, the dogs at their feet, and John shifted a little so that he was able to rest his feet on Steven's lap.
Steven reached out and rubbed John's shin lightly. "Getting pretty comfortable there."
John merely looked amused. "Any reason I shouldn't?"
"No." Steven replied. "No reason at all."
He'd been slightly wrong earlier. This right here, this was what he had needed, what he had missed so much when he was gone. Having John here for good made this truly feel like home.