A/N: This story was written for the LiveJournal NCIS Reverse Bang Challenge. It's set in Season 2, just after the events of Witness. It is all from Tim's POV.

Disclaimer: I don't own NCIS or its characters and I'm not making money from this story. They may not even remember season 2 at this point. :)

The Test of a Man
by Enthusiastic Fish

The test of any man lies in action.
~Pindar

Chapter 1

Tim sighed as he walked into work. It wasn't that he didn't like his job, but even a month after Erin had been killed, he still felt guilty about not being able to save her. Everyone could say that he hadn't done anything wrong, but that didn't save Erin. She was still dead. He barely said anything to Henry as he went through security and got on the elevator. Before the doors opened, he took a deep breath and tried to hide his feeling. Kate and Tony had been supportive in the moment, but he just didn't think it would last, and if he wanted to be an agent, he would have to get over seeing people die.

But she wasn't just a person.

No, it didn't matter. He had to get over it. That was all. The doors opened and he walked over to his desk and sat down. He had beat Tony in and Kate was involved in something on the phone so he was able to sit down without saying anything. He logged into his computer and checked his email.

A notice popped up of a meeting with the director regarding the investigation and his behavior. Gibbs had been irritated that Tim had related his actions when they had discovered who had killed Erin, but Tim knew that he had to be honest. He probably would have killed Jeremy Pryor if Gibbs hadn't been there to stop him and it would be wrong to pretend otherwise. What kind of agent would he be if he hid the negatives? He acknowledged the meeting and swallowed hard. He had about ten minutes to prepare himself for it.

"What's up, McGee?" Kate asked.

"Nothing," Tim said.

"Come on, Tim. That's not true. What is it?"

"I just..." Tim stopped as the elevator opened and Tony got off. He stopped talking and was saved from saying anything because Tony was never silent. In fact, he was generally the opposite of silent.

"Gooood morning!" Tony said, walking over with his arms stretched out wide. "Isn't it a nice day?"

"How much did you win playing poker, Tony?" Kate asked, rolling her eyes.

"Oh, never you mind that, Agent Todd. It's just a wonderful day." Tony walked over to his desk, dropped his bag with a flourish and sat down.

"So I guess that means you won't be paying me back for covering your lunch last week?"

"Kindness begins with you," Tony said, grinning. "I wouldn't want to deprive you of your charitable actions."

"Oh, please."

Then, Gibbs came down from the balcony, with his usual irritated look. This time, he turned it on Tim.

"Morrow is ready for you, McGee. Go on."

Tim swallowed again and stood up.

Tony and Kate both looked at him.

"What's up?" Tony asked.

"Nothing," Tim mumbled and then hurried to the stairs. Bad enough that they knew he had the meeting at all. He didn't want to mention the reason for it. Maybe Gibbs would save him from having to say anything to them later. That would be nice.

Still, he was torn between hurrying up the stairs to get the meeting over with (and to get away from Tony and Kate's questions) and dragging his feet to stop the meeting from ever happening. The vacillating about which feeling was stronger meant that he ended up walking mostly at his normal pace and that carried him into the outer office. Unfortunately, the director's door was actually open.

"Go right in, Agent McGee."

Tim swallowed again and took a breath.

"Thanks," he said, never meaning that less.

He forced himself to walk into the office. Director Morrow was at his desk. He looked up and gestured.

"Close the door and have a seat, Agent McGee."

"Yes, sir."

Tim sat down. There was a moment of silence.

"I've read your report on the Dillon case. It was very thorough."

"Thank you, sir." Tim almost corrected him about the name of the case. It was about Erin Kendall, not some guy named Dillon. But he knew the Navy only cared about its sailors, so Dillon it was.

"I've also read Agent Gibbs' report on the case. It was very thorough as well."

"I'm sure it was, sir."

Director Morrow may have smiled a little bit.

"There's nothing wrong with wanting the suspect dead, Agent McGee. Everyone feels that way at some point."

"I might have done it, though, sir."

"Might have, but you didn't."

"It didn't save her."

Director Morrow shook his head.

"No, it didn't. It can't. It's just a matter of learning to accept that you can't always save people. And while you always hope you can, in reality, your job isn't to save people."

Tim felt his brow furrow. "Isn't it?"

"No. It's to solve a crime, to bring the guilty party to justice. Generally, the crime has already been committed when you become involved. The only lives you save are those that might have been taken in the future. You make society safer by what you do."

"Am I going to be reprimanded, Director?" Tim asked.

Director Morrow raised an eyebrow.

"Do you think you should be?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

"Because I was almost willing to kill our suspect. I'm not judge, jury and executioner, but I almost was."

"Almost. That's an important distinction. Almost. You didn't. No, you are not being reprimanded. Obviously, you should work on controlling your temper in the future, but beyond that, this will not go into your record. Only your report will and it speaks for itself."

Tim nodded, not sure if that was good or bad.

"For now, you can go back to work."

Tim nodded again and stood up.

"And, Agent McGee."

"Yes, sir?"

"If you ever feel that you need help with these things, we have programs in place that you can use. That's their purpose. There's no shame in getting extra help."

"Yes, sir. Thank you, Director."

"You're welcome."

Tim left the office, unsure of what the purpose of that meeting had been. He hadn't been punished, hadn't even really been lectured on his actions. It seemed to have accomplished nothing and that was confusing. The director was a busy man. Why had he taken the time to discuss something without intending to fire him or reprimand him for what had happened in the case?

He walked down the stairs, preoccupied enough that he didn't notice Kate and Tony staring at him. He just walked to his desk and sat down.

"McGee, what was that about?" Tony asked.

Tim looked up and dithered about whether or not to admit that he wasn't sure himself when Gibbs came striding in.

"Dead petty officer. Gear up."

"Let me guess," Tony said. "Rock Creek Park."

"DefSea."

Tim's attention was immediately caught. It was a welcome distraction.

"What's that?" Kate asked.

"Navy computer research," Tim said. "It's all classified. And I mean really classified. Top Secret."

"And how do you know that Probationary Special Agent McGee?" Tony asked.

"I-I don't know what they're researching," Tim said, hedging more than a little. "But they've done some... some... groundbreaking stuff before."

"Oh," Tony said, dismissively. "Geek stuff."

"Groundbreaking!"

Thwack!

"Let's go!" Gibbs said.

They grabbed their bags and followed Gibbs out to the car. As they drove over, Tim was glad of something to distract him from his meeting with the director. He'd wanted to get an actual glimpse inside DefSea ever since he'd first heard about it. And while he'd talked around it, he did probably know more about the company than someone at his clearance level should and he'd rather not admit to hacking given his probationary status. He'd rather not admit to it at all. Everyone thought he was so straight-laced that they'd never guess.

I am! Tim thought to himself. I would never take anything or sell it. I just want to see it.

When they arrived at the building, Tim paused as he got out of the car. DefSea didn't look like a very large building. Only two stories with a fairly modest footprint. ...and yet, it was on such a large lot. He looked around at all the space. What was it there for?

"Body's inside, McGee," Gibbs said.

"Sorry, Boss," Tim said quickly and didn't mention his silent observation.

"Doesn't look very impressive for the groundbreaking research," Tony said, making air quotes.

"Not everyone is as shallow as you, Tony," Kate said, with a wicked grin.

"Meaning?" Tony asked.

A universal glare from Gibbs stopped the argument as they reached the doors. Tim was too preoccupied with looking around to want to participate in the argument anyway. This was amazing.

You're here to investigate a death! Stop acting like you're in a computer store!

Tim could silently berate himself over and over, but he was genuinely impressed by the interior. To people who didn't know about computers, networking and all of that, it probably looked like nothing more than a futuristic office, but Tim could see a lot of evidence that there was some serious computing power running through this building. He wondered what it was for.

"NCIS Special Agent Jethro Gibbs," Gibbs said, tersely to the security guard. He held out his badge. "And my MCRT."

The security guard looked them all over, carefully comparing their IDs to their faces as each one handed it over for inspection. Finally, he nodded.

"I'll notify them that you're here," he said and then turned away and got on his phone.

Tony and Kate looked at each other and then at Tim. Tony silently widened his eyes slightly. Kate nodded and mouthed a silent wow. Tim just started looking around again. He could feel a very slight vibration under his feet. Did this place go underground instead of up? If so, then, there was no telling just how much they were doing here. They could have a supercomputer on site for all anyone would know by looking at it from the outside.

"You feel that?" Tony asked softly.

"Feel what?" Kate asked.

"Vibrations," Tim said. "Cooling system probably."

"Why do you say that?" Tony asked. "How much cooling do you think they need to do here?"

"If they have a supercomputer, then, they'd need a lot," Tim said.

"Do they?"

"I-I-I have no idea," Tim said quickly. "But I wouldn't be surprised if they did."

Tony's eyebrow went up and Tim suppressed a smile. While it wasn't as bad as it had been at first, Tim didn't mind being able to one-up Tony on occasion. Maybe eventually he'd realize that Tim might just have something to offer.

"Agent Gibbs. I'm so glad you're here. It's just terrible. We're not really prepared to find someone dead in the hallway. I'm Dr. Ben Kosir. I... I guess you'd call me the director of DefSea."

"You don't look Navy," Tony said.

Dr. Kosir smiled. "I'm not. DefSea is not officially a military operation, although we work with the U.S. Navy and quite happily since our founding. Petty Officer Annexstad has been the most recent Navy liaison and I had enjoyed working with him. He was more aware of the computer world than some have been. But... alas. I'll take you to where his body is now."

Dr. Kosir gestured and they started to follow him.

"Now?" Gibbs repeated.

"Well, yes. When we first discovered Petty Officer Annexstad in the hallway, it was clear that he had been dead for some time, and we called the police first, but we didn't... want to make them walk all the way in so we moved him closer to the entrance, making sure that we didn't do anything else to disturb the body. You will find that he's in the same position as he was when we discovered him."

Tim saw Tony only barely avoid rolling his eyes. He wasn't sure what the others were thinking, but he was thinking that Dr. Kosir wasn't very good at lying. They hadn't moved the body to make it easier for emergency personnel. He didn't know why they had moved the body, but it wasn't for convenience. Secrecy rules, possibly.

Still, since Gibbs didn't say anything, he didn't either.

They went back to a conference room and there, on the floor, was their dead petty officer.

"This is where he's been since we called the police," Dr. Kosir said.

Gibbs' eyebrow went up again.

"We'll let you know when we're ready to see exactly where you found him," Gibbs said, significantly.

Dr. Kosir didn't look very happy about that, but he didn't refuse outright. He just stood, hovering in the doorway.

"You can go," Gibbs said, bluntly. "We'll let you know when we need you."

"Oh... Yes, of course. There will be someone available when you're ready."

Dr. Kosir withdrew.

"You sure you should just let him go like that, Boss?" Tony asked.

"Yeah, Gibbs," Kate said. "I don't know the last time I saw someone so bad at lying. What if he's going to do something to the scene?"

"That he hasn't already done in the three hours it's been since they reported it?" Gibbs asked. "Body's contaminated, but don't touch it until Ducky gets here. He should have been right behind us."

"He says that Palmer always gets him lost," Tony said.

They spread out in the room, but without much gusto. This wasn't the crime scene and, even if it had already been disturbed, they couldn't do any detailed investigation of the body until Ducky arrived. Still, Tony started taking photos of the body while Kate walked around the room, photographing the space. Tim wasn't really sure what to do himself, but Gibbs always seemed to expect that everyone would know without any words being spoken.

He started looking around the room. No wonder they'd put the body here. This wasn't an important room in the building. It really was just for meetings, and probably not classified ones. No major computer hookups. Just your basic setup for PowerPoint presentations, conference calls, and other things like that. Whatever research was being done, nothing about it happened in this room.

"McGee!" Gibbs said sharply.

Tim spun around to face Gibbs.

"What?" he asked.

"Going to do any work?"

"I... I wasn't sure what to do since we can't touch the body," Tim said.

Gibbs raised his eyebrow again. Tim hated seeing that happen in his direction. He gulped.

"I mean, this room isn't... it isn't really... very important. I know the body is here, but it's not the crime scene and they don't do anything... anything important here."

"Why do you say that?" Kate asked. "It's got all this equipment in here."

"And I don't know when I've seen so many ways of plugging computers in," Tony added from his position on the floor near the body.

"It's not important stuff," Tim said. He glanced at Gibbs, ready to shut up instantly if he looked more irritated than he usually did. ...he didn't so Tim kept going. "The equipment in here could be in any business office. Yeah, there's more of it, but it's not enough more to matter. Whatever classified work they're doing in this building, nothing about the research is even being discussed in this room."

Tony looked up from the body and might even look slightly impressed.

"Go on," Gibbs said.

"Uh... uh... well, the hookups are for normal computers. The projector is for presentations. But if they're doing the kind of research here that requires Top Secret classification, then, this room isn't set up to deal with anything that's classified and it's not... it's not set up for high-powered computing either. So...unless this guy was killed because of PowerPoint..."

Tony snickered.

"...n-nothing that's in here will tell us what matters."

Tim licked his lips nervously as his words ran out. Kate looked overtly impressed. Tony looked covertly impressed (and he'd never admit that he was). Gibbs' expression gave nothing away.

"Go talk to Dr. Kosir."

Tim's eyes widened.

"What?"

"Going deaf, McGee?"

"N-No, Boss, but... just me? By myself?"

"You speak his language. Get on his good side. See if you can get him to share anything. Get him to relax enough to let us get to the crime scene without getting extra clearance."

"You sure the Probie is the right one for the job?" Tony asked.

"You become a computer expert in the last five minutes, DiNozzo?" Gibbs asked.

"Nope."

"Then, McGee is the only one who is. You still here, McGee?"

"Uh... no, Boss. I'm... I'm on my way."

Tim turned around and stepped out into the hallway, looked both directions and saw no one.

Now what?