1998, September 2nd
Severus sat at a station near the back of the room, his eyes scanning the rows of empty seats in front of him. He had always preferred to get to class early, relishing the peace and quiet before the other students arrived. Today though, he felt it necessary to forgo running into any other students in the corridor. The first class of the day would be the only class he could get to in peace without the constant wandering eyes and whispers.
As he waited, he began to set up his supplies, laying out a cauldron and gathering ingredients for the day's lesson, which Slughorn had thankfully added to the syllabus.
He continued to set up his station, the clinking of glassware and the pouring of liquids lulling him into a state of calm. He had always found potion making to be meditative, the meticulous process of chopping and stirring his thoughts away from the rest of the world. He hoped the calm the potions classroom usually brought him wasn't stripped away by his circumstances.
Just as he was about to breathe a sigh of relief, the door creaked open and Draco Malfoy walked in, not even glancing around the room before heading directly towards Severus' station and taking a seat beside him. As soon as he sat down, Severus' peaceful solitude came to an abrupt end.
His usual swagger and confidence was not present. Severus thought that may be because the boy knew that the mask wouldn't fool him, being that he was the one who taught him how to wear it. The silence dragged for several minutes as the boy followed his lead and began preparing his brewing space.
"This is odd." Draco said, his voice breaking the calm that had come from the quiet.
"I'm aware."
"Couldn't you have studied privately, I'm sure my mother would have been glad to offer you the help." Draco sent him a sideways glance while wiping the area around his brewing stand.
"And sacrifice such a prodigious experience?" He said, pulling out his potions text, "How very generous of you Draco."
Draco glared.
"You know you could be nicer, I have."
"What because you haven't tried tormenting me mercilessly?" Severus huffed a laugh, "This is me being nice."
Draco didn't respond. The air grew thick with tension, and Severus began rethinking his stance on the uniforms which he had voted to remain the same. Nearly suffocating.
"Do you ever feel like a monster?"
The question was quiet, and he began to think he imagined it until he noticed that Draco was staring down at his station, unmoving.
He sighed, "No."
"Even after everything you've done?"
"Everything I've done? What about your father? I've done what I had to do in order to survive. He did it for a sick pleasure. So why am I the bad guy?" He spat, nearly grinding his teeth into a powder.
"I only mean, how do you do it, how do you act so unbothered by the war?" Draco asked, "Why do you act like you're fine, if you're not?"
"What else am I supposed to do?" He snapped, "Waste away in the house my father so gracefully left me when he died, life goes on and the only thing we can do about the mistakes we've made is hope for redemption and take the necessary steps in order to get it."
"Like what?" The innocence behind those gray colored eyes was startling, blown wide with hope and apprehension.
"Like turning over a new leaf, leaving behind prejudices and pride and apologizing."
Draco scoffed, the innocence replaced with disgust.
"Apologies don't always have to be verbal, since you obviously lack the talent, actions are better anyway." Severus said and studied him, "Try not being an ass to everyone that isn't pureblood or Slytherin and you'll be well on your way."
"How long do you think it will take to be forgiven?" Draco asked, "I mean, what if the people I want forgiveness from are the ones I've wronged the most?"
Realization washed over him. This was about Potter and his friends. This was guilt. As Severus considered Draco's question, he felt a flicker of sympathy. The boy's admission had caught him off guard. Despite his earlier irritation, he knew that forgiveness could be a complicated process.
Severus stared at Draco for a moment, processing his words. "Forgiveness," he said finally, his voice low, "Forgiveness is an interesting concept. It isn't a switch that can easily be flipped, it isn't a potion that can be brewed and consumed. It takes work, it takes time."
Severus paused, considering his next words. "You've hurt many people, Draco. The list of those you've wronged is long. But if you're truly remorseful and willing to put in the work, redemption is possible."
Draco's expression hardened, "I…I don't know if I can."
"Try."
"And what about you, do you intend to find your redemption?" Draco asked, examining his station.
"And what makes you think I haven't already found it?" Severus scoffed, adjusting his ingredients so that they sit straight side by side.
"Well you've brought a lot of attention to yourself by staying at Hogwarts as a student while in your condition, I just don't understand your angle." Draco explained, crossing his arms, he was propped up against their work station, his legs bent on the small bars of his chair.
"I can't help my condition, Draco, there are things I need to be refreshed on before I'm able to be released to the workforce once more. I am a Potions- was a Potions Master, it's a very dangerous profession." Severus explained, "I'm here to revise, nothing more, nothing less. I'm going to keep my head down and pray to God or Merlin, or whoever had a hand in making this forsaken planet in hopes of having a stress-free school year."
"Good luck." Draco scoffed, shaking his head, "You're in Gryffindor, it doesn't get much more stressful than that."
Severus knew he was right, of course he did. He dreaded curfew hour when it was inevitably going to come around this evening, but he was trying to be as positive as possible. Hoping with the last drop of hope he had left that Lily wouldn't do this to torture him and that there was indeed a light at the end of the tunnel.
Finally, the moment he had dreaded arrived. The classroom filled with the sound of chatter and bustling students as they began to make their way to their stations. Thankfully, Minerva had given him the class roster of all the classes he was required to take. Enabling him to see who he would be sharing each hour with, so he had time to prepare for who to avoid. Severus' eyes flicked up to glance around the room, and he couldn't help but notice the distinct absence of Harry Potter and Ron Weasley. This came as no surprise to him, though. What was surprising was Granger being late.
Several minutes into Slughorn's lecture, the same lecture he gave on the first day of class every year, she walked in, apologies muttered as she made her way to the empty seat next to Longbottom at the front of the class. Her shoulders squared, her expression hard and unforgiving. Something had happened. It wasn't hard to know what had made her look so annoyed, if he had Weasley and Potters as friends he was sure he'd be annoyed daily. She was a better person than him, he would've hexed them both into oblivion by now.
"As I was saying, we will start the year off with the antidote to Veritaserum. You will need to know how to counter it before we learn to brew it." Slughorn explained, his hands behind his back as he made his way back to the front of the classroom.
"But sir, how will we know if it's brewed correctly?" Granger asked, while removing her supplies from her bag.
Severus' lip curled in irritation as Granger spoke out of turn. He was certain that Slughorn would reprimand her for her lack of discipline. But to his surprise and disappointment, Slughorn did nothing.
Slughorn chuckled at Granger's question, "A fair question, my dear. When properly prepared, the wax from the Mistletoe Berries should rise to the top, creating a protective skin over the potion. I'm starting you off with this particular potion because it was brought to my attention that we've made you rely too heavily on your textbooks, on needing a way to prove a potions quality by using it, instead of proving it by its properties."
Severus' irritation turned to annoyance as he watched the scene unfold before him, muttering under his breath, "Bloody Gryffindors."
Draco leaned closely to him, "You do realize you're now a Gryffindor."
"Do not remind me."
Draco chuckled.
Slughorn then turned to address the entire class. "Now get to work, and remember to follow the instructions exactly as they are written in your text. This is a very delicate potion."
Severus set to work immediately, measuring his ingredients carefully, all the while keeping a watchful eye on Granger. He couldn't believe that Slughorn had let her question slide, but he supposed it was a lost cause to hope for any semblance of discipline in Slughorn's class, especially when it came to Gryffindors.
He started by adding the Honeywater into his cool silver cauldron, before placing the cauldron onto the burner and bringing it to a simmer.
Not too long after the brewing commenced, Potter and Weasley finally stumbled into the door, looking rather out of breath and flustered.
"Sorry we're late Professor." Potter mumbled while taking a seat at the station behind Granger, Weasley following behind him.
"This has become a habit of yours, Mr. Potter, Mr. Weasley." Slughorn said with a look of feigned distaste before he smiled and patted him on the shoulder, "Never you mind, it would seem at some point this year I'll need to show you how to brew a potion that helps you be on time."
Slughorn's laugh was deep and bubbly.
"Yes sir." Potter said with a small smile, "We won't be late again."
"See to it you are not, even the savior of the wizarding world needs his education." Slughorn said, placing a burner in front of Weasley and Potter before moving to his desk in the corner of the room.
Severus would never be able to express the level of anger that interaction gave him. If it were his class he would've taken so many points they wouldn't have been able to make up for it all year, he would've given them detention for months. The thought brought him pleasure, he would've had them scrubbing cauldrons until their blisters had blisters.
"Mione, please." Weasley whispered, leaning forward to touch the girl's shoulder. To which she yanked herself away, her magic pulsing static through her hair.
She glared back at him. "No Ron."
Severus smirked.
As he began the next step of coarsely chopping his Valerian Sprigs, he glanced at Draco, who was chopping his Sprigs rather small.
"They need to be coarse, large, you're dicing them." Severus said under his breath.
"Didn't you not like when Granger gave Longbottom instruction?" Draco said, but still listened and started chopping the Sprigs much larger.
Severus let out a low growl, his annoyance apparent at Draco's comment. "Don't question me, Draco. I was only correcting you on your technique, a mistake in potion making can be catastrophic. And besides, Granger's input on Longbottom's work was unnecessary and unsolicited."
As he added each ingredient to the cauldron, he watched as the potion started to take shape, the wax slowly rising to the top and forming a bubbling skin over the potion. Satisfied with the progress of his potion, he quickly turned his attention back to Granger, unable to stop himself from wondering why she had been so late and what that interaction was really about.
Severus began to feel a strange sense of familiarity as he watched her, as if he had observed her countless times before with the same calculating gaze.
"How is it that even without the memories of your seventh year, you still know how to brew so perfectly?" Draco leaned forward to take another glance into Severus' cauldron.
Severus curled a brow, examining Draco's potion which had turned a pale yellow and was sizzling like a freshly poured glass of fizzy pop with small balls of Mistletoe wax floating at the surface. "You added too many Valerian Sprigs."
"It doesn't specify how many to add."
"No it doesn't, because you should've learned that last year when learning to prepare ingredients. Valerian Sprigs are only stored in threes, and one vial is used according to how large a potion. This is a small potion, so half a vial will be needed." Severus explained, "The oils in the sprigs loosen the wax when heated, too much and the wax won't form the correct thickness of skin, too little and it makes it hard to break and makes the brewing process for the second part too long and it ruins the potion completely."
Draco's jaw tensed in frustration, his cheeks flushed with indignance.
Severus gave Draco's cauldron a once-over, his expression betraying no hint of the disgust that he felt upon seeing the state of the potion. "You need to restart. The potion needs to simmer for 45 minutes before it can rest, unless you plan to spend extra time in Potions."
Draco's eyes flicked from the bubbling potion to Longbottom's nearly complete one. The frustration on Draco's face was palpable as he muttered under his breath, "This is ridiculous," but he begrudgingly started the potion again, carefully adding the correct amount of Valerian Sprigs.
Severus simply nodded, turning back to his potion and removing it from the heat with practiced ease.
BOOM!
At the front of the class next to Potter and Weasley, Seamus Finnegans potion was releasing large clouds of black smoke, his hair stuck up in all directions and the front of his body was covered in wax soot.
"Mr. Finnigan, your ability to make even the simplest potions explode will always astound me." Slughorn said, dropping a defusing potion into Finnegans ruined cauldron. The smoke slowly started to disappear. "Perhaps today you can partner with Mr. Thomas."
Step 3 Slowly drop the Mistletoe Berries into the cauldron and stir seven times clockwise and seven times anti-clockwise.
Hermione began dropping the berries first, her hand hovering close to the potion so as to not allow it to splash and burn her.
Then, she carefully began stirring the potion seven times clockwise and then seven times counter-clockwise. She watched as the wax slowly accumulated at the top, bubbling and swirling like a whirlpool. She couldn't help but feel a sense of pride as she watched as the potion took shape and started to look remarkably like the textbook example.
"Well done, Miss Granger, well done." Slughorn said over her shoulder, making her jump. She hadn't realized he was standing so near. "Now to let it rest, I've prepared the back wall for that process. One month from now we'll be able to finish the potion."
"One month." Malfoy sputtered from the back of the class, "It has to rest for one month."
"Indeed, Mr. Malfoy." Slughorn said before turning to the rest of the class, "When your wax has accumulated successfully, immediately take the cauldron off the burner and place it on the back shelf, we will not be able to brew Veritaserum until the new moon, that gives you plenty of time to write a paper about its properties and how it differs from your standard truth serum."
"When is the new moon, sir?" Longbottom asks, finishing his potion.
"That would be the 20th of this month." Slughorn said, he then turned and made his way to the front of the class once more.
"Why does it matter when the potion is brewed?" Seamus said, from his new seat beside Dean, his face blackened with soot.
"Because you halfwit, that starts the lunar cycle." Pansy Parkinson hissed from behind him.
"How was I supposed to know that." He grumbled in response, crossing his arms in front of him.
"Because, Mr. Finnigan, it is stated in your textbook. Reading isn't beyond your capabilities is it?" Snape sneered from the back of the class. "It is not the responsibility of your teachers to spoon-feed you information that can be found in your textbooks. I suggest you start paying closer attention in class or find another subject more suitable to your intellectual abilities."
As Snape's harsh words echoed through the classroom, the heads of all the students snapped around, their expressions a mix of shock and dread. Some of them were taken aback by the sudden sound of his voice, which had been absent from the room for such a long time. Chills rose over her flesh. His voice hadn't changed. She didn't realize that until now. It wasn't as rough or as baritone, but it still held the same amount of power that it had before. She could tell she wasn't the only one affected by his sudden outburst.
She immediately recalled the reputation that his voice held - the authority, the biting sarcasm, and the sharp reprimands that it was usually accompanied by. None of them wanted to be the unlucky recipient of one of the scathing remarks that were always lurking at the tip of his tongue.
Pansy Parkinson gave an undignified snicker, "I wouldn't be surprised if his abilities stopped at his ability to breathe."
She met his eyes from where she sat at the front of the classroom, but he quickly looked away.
"Please no more talking out of turn. I want those reports regarding the differences in properties on my desk by the 20th, make sure that your cauldrons lid is placed firmly before you leave." Slughorn said, "Class dismissed."
He needed to get out of the classroom and fast, he could already see Horace glancing at him every so often during the entire hour. The last thing he needed was to be called out as the rest of the students were leaving the classroom. He began quickly putting his things away in his satchel bag, making sure not to crumble even the edge of a piece of parchment as he put them inside. Damn his incessant obsessive-compulsive disorder. He needed to move faster. Fate seemed to have other ideas.
"Severus, would you please stay behind for a moment." Horace said just as the students began moving to the back of the room to place their cauldrons on the shelf.
"Sure, Horace." He sighed and moved to the front of the classroom, leaving his cauldron to rest on his station for the moment.
"I was wondering if I might have a word." He said, gesturing to the small office at the side of the room, his old office.
"I haven't got much time, my next class starts in a matter of minutes." Severus said, glancing back just as the last few students placed their cauldrons on the shelf.
"It will only take a moment." Horace said, and Severus tried his best to avoid his calculating eyes.
"Sure."
Horace then led him into his office and waved his wand so that the door closed behind him. He didn't take a seat though, he moved to the opposite side of the room and poured himself a small glass of some sort of wine. German wine, to Severus' knowledge. Probably a gift from one of his many gifted students.
"I would ask if you'd like a glass, my boy, but as it is you are now a student and I doubt the Headmistress would be very happy if I accidentally sent you to your next class a little tipsy." Horace said, his amused smile was ugly and crooked. It reminded Severus of the way a nine year old smiled for a camera or painting when they didn't want to be taking the picture, all teeth and no eyes.
"We both know Minerva is one of the most legless Headmasters this school has ever seen and she wouldn't give a damn, but I don't want any of your imported grape juice. Why am I here, Horace?" Severus spat, placing his stance wide, his chin high, and his arms secure behind his back. He wasn't surprised, he expected mild jests to be made about him, he just wasn't in the mood.
Horace frowned, the amusement washing away. "I understand the reduction to your authority has been extreme, and I believe- well the staff believes holding you responsible for your housemates and peers once in a while will help you keep some of that respect you've rightfully earned."
Severus crossed his arms, "I'm listening."
"I would like to ask if you'd be willing to chaperone at the first Slug Club-"
"Not interested." Severus said, turning on his heel to leave, pushing the door open.
"Minerva has also offered that you chaperone a couple Hogsmeade weekends a month and a promotion to Headboy within the week if you agree." Horace said quickly, stopping him in his tracks.
Severus bowed his head and sighed once more. "I have no interest in being headboy."
"You'd be co-directing the Prefects of every house and it would give you enough authority to keep the children off your back." Horace explained, "Besides, the position has recently been vacated."
Severus turned, "Vacated? I assumed Weasley was headboy, why would he vacate that position?"
"I'm not entirely sure, but the headmistress has just brought it to my attention before class began." Horace said, sitting on the corner of his desk, the red wine swirling in his glass.
"Why are you coming to me with this and not Minerva or the head of Gryffindor house, I'm no longer a Slytherin?" Severus asks, his eyes narrowing.
"I'm helping the Headmistress with her head duties while she looks for a replacement for that position." He said, sipping his wine which left a deep red stain on his lips.
"This is a lot of responsibility, what if I choose not to agree to it?" He asked.
"Then we will find someone else to fill the position."
"Very well, I have a few conditions before I agree to this offer," Severus said, taking a deep breath.
"Name them." Horace said, taking another sip of his drink.
"One, I want a stipend for taking on this responsibility, I don't have savings to dip into while I'm not working and I have bills to pay." Severus said, his tone firm. "And two, I would also like access to my old potions lab and ingredients closet."
"Done, consider it done." Horace said, setting down his glass and holding out his hand. "Do we have an agreement?"
Severus looked down at his hand with his lip curled for a moment before slowly taking it, "Yes."