Author notes- Thank you everyone for the reviews. They always make my day. I love that you guys are enjoying this story as much as I am. The computer seems to have survived the coffee bath. They wanted to take it for four weeks to fix something I can live without. Couldn't abandon you that long. So, on we go. Hope you like the new chapter.
Chapter 49
A Teaching Moment
Harry watched Snape. He seemed to have just frozen up after Harry had said he thought he could remove the Mark. Harry didn't know if it was shock or anger or something else. He wasn't sure he wanted to hang around to find out.
He felt completely drained. Snape had dug a lot more of his past up than he had ever planned to share. His cheeks felt warm, and his stomach clenched. Waves of embarrassment and shame were starting to get the best of him. The numbness that had allowed him to talk seemed to be fading away.
Snape's staring was not helping.
"I um…if it's not something you want, I understand." Harry said softly, before turning and running up the basement stairs. He needed to get away from Snape.
He didn't know what had come over him to share so much. It was sick.
Harry ran all the way to the bathroom and collapsed in front of the toilet. He heaved and gagged but there was nothing but water and bile in his stomach. Tears spilled down his face.
What had he done? How could he share that? How could he tell anyone that?
He'd never be able to look Snape in the eye again. He didn't know if he could ever look at anyone again.
Harry's body shook as he sat back. He needed a shower right now.
He stripped his clothes off and avoided looking at any part of his body. He couldn't, it disgusted him.
He turned the water on as hot as it would go and scrubbed and scratched at his skin as the water burned him. His body shook with suppressed sobs.
Severus stood in the lab staring at the spot Harry had just disappeared from.
He couldn't possibly have heard the boy right. He thought he could remove the Dark Mark? It wasn't possible. It was permanent. Wasn't it?
Severus stared down at the ugly black mark on his arm. Could Harry really get rid of it?
The Mark had defined his entire adult life.
He would have to think about it later.
He looked up the stairs and sighed. Harry was upset. Not surprising, given all that he had shared. He needed to check on him. Draco too.
They had been in the lab for hours. Severus looked at the clock and saw that it was long past dinner time.
With a sigh he climbed the stairs.
Severus laid in bed staring at the ceiling. Harry had been in the shower when he'd gotten upstairs. He had let him be. He knew the boy needed space. He would talk to him tomorrow. Draco had been studying when he knocked on the door. The boy had been aloof, and Severus understood. He'd mostly been left on his own all day. Though he had hoped the trip into town would have offered some grace.
Draco had already eaten. So, Severus had let him be with a quiet 'goodnight.'
Severus had placed a dreamless sleep on Harry's side table and gone down to make himself something for dinner.
He had sat in the kitchen for a long time, waiting for Harry to finish his shower. He didn't want to confront him tonight. Severus was sure Harry had been showering in ice cold water by the time it finally turned off.
Now he was just laying wide awake.
his emotions warred between rage and sorrow.
He thought of everything Harry had told him today. He may not be a Death Eater anymore, but he would destroy the man who had hurt Harry so badly. There was no hesitation in his heart about that. The diagnostic showed the level of brutality that he used to hurt Harry.
Severus didn't know if Harry would ever be able to overcome what had been done to him. Knowing how the man had gotten to Harry was another matter. His relatives had done enough damage, but this man had utterly destroyed Harry's trust.
This man had been the first person to ever show Harry any kindness or affection. To have that betrayed in such a vile way was unimaginably cruel.
Severus sighed and rolled over. He would need to discuss this with Lupin. Harry was going to require more mind healing then he had initially thought. He also needed to make them aware that whoever it was still posed a risk to Harry.
He had been surprised to learn the man was a wizard. He hoped Harry would extend a little more faith in him and tell him something else about the man. He suspected Harry might know something about him. He'd said he didn't know his name, but he wasn't convinced. Even if Harry could describe him, it might be helpful. He wouldn't break his promise to Harry. He'd not let the boy be hurt like that again.
With another uncomfortable twist in the bed, he thought about what Harry had said about his last day at Privet Drive. He wished he could get his hands on the Dursley's.
With a sigh he sat up in bed. He wouldn't be getting to sleep like this.
He closed his eyes and tried to relax his muscles. He focused on his mental labyrinth. He walked to the room he had created for his new memories of Harry. He stored is new information away and took a deep breath.
His mind went back to what the boy had said before he had fled the lab. He thought he could remove Severus' Mark.
He also stashed that away. He couldn't think about it now. Then a thought occurred to him, and his eyes popped open.
Draco.
If Harry could remove his Mark, did that mean he could remove Draco's?
The boy didn't deserve to walk around with the Mark on his arm for the rest of his life. He had not made the mistakes Severus had.
He wondered what the risks were to removing it. The mark had been the most physically painful thing that had ever happened to him. Would it be painful to have it removed? Could he go through that pain again? Could Draco?
He would be willing to let Harry remove his first to test it. Then he thought about his role in the last war. He knew that Harry was unaware that it had been Severus' fault that Lily and James had died. Unaware of Severus roll in everything that had happened after.
Severus sighed. He would not let the boy remove his Mark without that knowledge. He would let the boy decide his fate. He knew he deserved to suffer for what he had done.
Would Harry even be willing to remove Draco's Mark? Would Draco be willing to accept Harry's help?
Severus collapsed back on his bed and sighed. There was a lot to think about.
He closed his eyes, raised his mental shields, and let his mind go blank. He would address it in the morning with a clear mind.
Draco trudged sleepily to the kitchen. He had fallen asleep reading his transfiguration text last night. He still didn't understand the summer essay. He would attack it after he had some tea and something for breakfast.
Severus was sitting at the table drinking his coffee and reading the paper when he entered. He glanced around and was relieved to not see Potter. He couldn't deal with him this early in the morning.
"Good morning." Severus said from behind his paper.
"Mornin'." Draco mumbled.
He still felt a little angry at the man. He still couldn't believe he had just spent the whole evening with Potter. Especially after he had sent Draco away. There was clearly something going on and Draco just couldn't understand.
With a sigh he collapsed into the chair next to Severus.
Severus lowered the paper and looked at him critically. There was something angry in his eyes and Draco wondered what he had done now.
He groaned internally. Maybe Potter had complained to Severus. Crybaby, Draco thought angrily.
Severus felt clearer headed this morning. He was going to have a busy day. He planned to run to town quickly and look for his book at the Book Nook and have his tea with Mary. When he returned, he hoped that Harry would go out for a while so that he could have a conversation with Draco. What he had done to Harry needed to be addressed.
He hoped to talk with Harry this evening. He also planned to call Lupin. The boy's behavior over the last few days was concerning. After what had been revealed last night, he truly wasn't sure what the right thing to do was. He wanted to do what he could for Harry, but he was also aware of the limitations of his own abilities.
If he had time he would work in the lab for a while, but he wasn't holding out hope.
He ate the last bite of his breakfast and stood.
"I need to go into town. I will be back shortly. Please behave." Severus said.
He looked to Draco who was still eating his breakfast. He nodded but didn't look up.
Severus sighed and made his way out of the house. He was a little worried that Harry hadn't come down yet, but he'd checked on him this morning and he had still been asleep in his Animagus form.
He hoped Draco would just find something quiet to entertain himself with for an hour or so. It was a gamble to leave them alone in the house together. However, he needed to go to town. He figured leaving while one was asleep, and the other was barely awake would be his best bet.
Harry startled awake and jumped to his feet, a low growl emanating from his throat. The fur on his shoulders stood on end as he looked around the room. A soft mew near his paws drew his attention. He looked down and found Edgar looking up at him. His blue eyes relaxed Harry. He shook his body and sat. He popped back into human form and scooped Edgar into his lap.
Tears fell down his face. He didn't usually have nightmares when he slept as Akela. He couldn't remember the dream, but he could remember the feeling. His skin crawled and he felt the feelings from yesterday hit him like a brick wall.
"What have I done?" Harry cried as he buried his face in Edgar's fur.
The kitten licked his ear and softly purred.
Harry leaned against the wall and stared blankly into the room. How could he face Snape again, after everything he had told him? He wished the floor would just swallow him whole.
Harry sighed as he thought about his flight from the basement.
What if Snape didn't want his Dark Mark removed? Had he been to presumptuous?
He wanted to help Snape after everything he had done.
A tingle ran down his skin and his stomach lurched as he thought about what he had said last night. He thought back to when everything had happened.
His skin crawled. He wanted to cut. He wanted to shower. He wanted to run away and never come back.
He pulled on his mental wall, and felt only the sharp pain he had felt yesterday. He didn't understand why this was happening. Why wasn't it working?
He felt his heart begin to pound and his breaths get shallow. His mind raced for an answer.
He threw his head back and it banged into the wall. He closed his eyes and focused on the pain. Why was this happening to him?
Three sharp raps on the wall let him know that Malfoy was in his room and had apparently heard him.
Harry focused on his breathing as the tears continued to fall down his face.
When he felt like he could breathe he stood and put Edgar on his bed. He went to his trunk and noticed it wasn't closed all the way.
His stomach twisted. Had Snape gone through his trunk again? Had Malfoy come into his room and looked through his things?
He pulled it open and noticed things had been moved around. He felt anger rise in his chest. He couldn't believe he'd been stupid enough to leave it unlocked.
He pulled out an outfit and his toiletries. Then closed his trunk and shrunk it. He dropped it in his bag. He pulled out the drawer on the side table and quickly took his potions. He put them in a side pocket of his bag and then shrunk his bag and shoved it in his pocket.
He already felt raw and exposed. Knowing someone had gone through his things again made him feel worse.
He walked to the bathroom and locked the door before he stripped and climbed into the shower.
Draco glared at the bathroom door. Potter had been in there for nearly two hours. His bladder was screaming at him. He'd tried to wait for Potter to finish his shower but once the water had shut off, he'd never heard the door open.
After twenty minutes he had finally come out of his room and saw the door was still closed. He leaned against the wall and waited. He didn't want to start something with Potter. Severus had told him to behave, and he didn't want to get into trouble again.
He shook his leg in agitation. He couldn't wait any longer.
He walked across the hall and banged on the door.
"Come on Potter. You've been in there forever. I need the loo." Draco yelled.
Draco stepped back and grit his teeth. He waited but heard nothing.
"Potter!" Draco yelled and knocked on the door again.
Draco's hands balled into fists as he glared at the door.
"Fine! Stay in there!" Draco yelled, pulling his wand.
He sneered and cast a mild locking spell at the door.
Draco smirked.
All the color left Draco's face at the unholy screaming that suddenly came from the bathroom.
Draco took a step back as he heard a fist start banging on the door.
"Please!" Potter cried through the door.
Draco stepped back again and ran into the wall behind him. His body shook slightly as Potter screamed again.
"I'm sorry. Please! Please let me out!" Potter cried.
Draco raised his wand and pulled down the locking spell.
He stood frozen as the handle jiggled for a second and the door flew open. Potter came flying out of the bathroom without even noticing Draco. He raced down the stairs and Draco just stared after him.
He was pulled from his shock when he heard the floo flare.
Draco quickly walked down the stairs and into the empty sitting room.
"What the hell was that?" Draco said into the empty room.
Draco felt dread pool in his stomach. Severus had told them they weren't to use the floo unless they were going with him to Hogwarts.
Where had Potter gone?
"Shit." Draco cursed as he tried to figure out what to do.
He had never heard such agonized screams from anyone that wasn't actively being tortured.
Draco walked on shaky legs back up the stairs. He still needed the loo. He would figure out what to do after.
When Draco pushed the door to the bathroom open, he froze.
There was blood on the floor. Something small and silver lay next to the crimson spots.
Draco's head spun.
What the hell had Potter been doing in here?
He shook his head and stepped around the mess. He quickly used the toilet and washed his hands, being mindful not to step in the blood.
He noticed an old-fashioned razor disassembled on the counter. He'd seen it in the cabinet when he'd come for the healing balm the other day.
Draco looked down and saw that the blade was what was laying on the floor.
His stomach twisted.
Potter had been hurting himself. Draco was almost sure that was what had happened, though it was hard for him to believe.
He had been aware of a few Slytherins who had done that. Severus looked for it specifically when they had there beginning of term exams.
Draco had helped Pansy a few years ago. She had come back forth year with her arms covered in marks. She had had a very difficult summer and had felt cut off and left to handle a lot on her own. Between Severus and himself they had helped her.
What the hell would have pushed Potter to this?
Draco shook his head and walked out of the bathroom. He needed to find Severus. He didn't want to tell him what happened. However, he feared what Severus would do if he lied.
Draco walked out the front door and tried to remember where Severus had gone.
The bookshop. The woman at the book shop had invited him for tea. He must be there.
Draco looked in the direction they had walked in yesterday and started running. He wished he could be happy that Potter had left. He wished he could be hoping Potter wouldn't return. Unfortunately, it was becoming rather obvious that there was something else going on. Something he wasn't being told.
His lungs burned as he ran down the street. Merlin, he hoped Severus would know where Potter had gone.
Severus relaxed into an armchair. He had found a few books that seemed to fit what he was looking for. Julie had been in the shop when he had arrived and was visiting with Mary. He had busied himself with looking through the shelves. He'd walked through the section on psychology and child development hoping he might find something to help him with the boys, but nothing jumped out at him.
Mary bustled over with the tea and set it down on the table before taking her seat. She let out a long sigh before turning to Severus.
"That woman was lonely with a husband. Without one I can hardly get her out of the shop." Mary said shaking her head and picking up her tea.
Severus rolled his eyes.
"Did you find what you were looking for?" Mary asked, gesturing to the small pile of books on the table.
"Yes, I believe I will find what I need in there. My work this summer hasn't been as productive as I had hoped." Severus said with a sigh.
He'd had several experiments go wrong and felt like he wasn't making the kind of progress he usually did.
As far as everyone in Cokeworth was concerned, he was a Chemistry teacher at a boarding school, and during the summer dabbled in homeopathic remedies.
"I'm sure having a child in the house has been a bit of a distraction. And now you've got two. How is Harry doing?" Mary asked.
Severus sighed and picked up his cup of tea, wishing it was his calming blend. He thought about everything Harry had told him yesterday.
"He's not doing very well." Severus said softly looking into his cup.
Mary pursed her lips.
"Is there anything we can do?" Mary asked.
Severus just shook his head.
"I'm not sure there is much that we can do, other than continue to be supportive. He will likely be going to his new guardians at the end of the month. One of which is a therapist of sorts. I'm hoping he will be able to help him more." Severus answered.
Mary nodded and looked out the window.
"How is your godson doing?" Mary asked.
Severus groaned and pinched the bridge of his nose.
"I believe he needs more of my attention. He is acting out and I think a lot of it is jealousy. His Parents have not been very present this summer and I think he feels he is now competing for my attention." Severus answered.
Mary nodded her understanding.
They sat quietly for a moment just looking out the front window.
Harry had been making improvements before Draco had joined them. He was sure Harry would be doing better if it was still just them in the house.
On the other hand. If he hadn't already had Harry, Draco would likely be settling in better and could also be recovering from his summer. Maybe even working towards some personal growth. However, having them both under his roof was turning into something of a nightmare.
He would need to find a way to meet the needs of both boys.
The shop door suddenly flew open and in tumbled Draco.
"Sev." Draco called.
Severus stood immediately and walked towards him.
"What happened?" Severus asked as he reached Draco.
Draco looked alarmed and sweaty like he'd run all the way from the house. Draco's eyes darted to Mary and back to Severus before he shook his head slightly.
"I need you to come back to the house." Draco said neutrally, though his expression and posture were stressed.
Severus nodded. He had no idea what had happened but obviously something.
Severus turned to look at Mary who now also had a worried look on her face.
"It seems I'm needed elsewhere." Severus said softly.
"Go." Mary said with a nod.
"Here." Mary added grabbing the books Severus had picked out.
Severus took the books and reached into his pocket to pay her.
Mary held up her hand and shook her head.
"We'll deal with it later." Mary said.
Severus nodded and led Draco out of the shop.
He did not look back as he walked down the street. His stomach twisted with anxiety. Merlin only knew what had happened now.
He quickly turned down a side street. Once they were concealed from the rest of the people on the street, Severus pulled his wand and cast privacy spells.
"What's wrong?" Severus asked Draco.
Draco sighed and looked down.
"Potter took off." Draco said.
Severus raised an eyebrow.
"You are no longer on restriction. You are both allowed to leave. If you are attempting to get him in trouble…" Severus started before Draco cut him off.
"No! He took the floo." Draco stated.
Severus rubbed the bridge of his nose. Perhaps he should have waited for Harry to wake up. He should have checked on him again before he left. He knew Harry was upset last night. He should have anticipated him trying to take off again. It seemed to be his way of dealing with everything.
"Come Draco." Severus said, casting a disillusionment charm over them both and a Muffliato.
Severus led them out of the side street and quickly down the road.
"Speak. What happened?" Severus demanded.
There was a slight pause, and he sent an angry glare at Draco. He didn't know if he had done anything or if Harry had just been upset from last night, but the guilty look on Draco's face gave him a good idea. He swore if Draco had cast on Harry again, he would find something truly horrid for him to do. Perhaps some of his favorite first year detentions. He didn't care that Draco was sixteen. If he was going to act like a child, Severus would treat him like one.
"He was in the bathroom. I needed in there." Draco started.
Severus nodded for him to continue.
"I wasn't trying to start anything. I promise Sev." Draco said pleadingly.
Severus sighed and nodded. He'd reserve judgement for now.
"He was in there forever and I needed to go. I went and knocked on the door. The shower had been off for a while. I just figured he finally discovered the mirror and was trying to fix that birds nest on his head." Draco said.
Severus rolled his eyes.
"He didn't respond so I knocked again and yelled in that I needed the loo. When he ignored me again I…. I cast a locking charm at the door." Draco said a little quietly.
Severus closed his eyes for a moment before trudging forward. This was not good.
"I…We do that all the time in the dorm. Someone takes too long in the bathroom, and we lock them in. They break the spell, they get a reminder that it's not their private toilet, and we move on. It's happened to me plenty." Draco insisted.
Severus shook his head at the childishness.
They strode up the front steps of the house and Severus pushed the door open. Once they were in the hall Severus turned and looked at Draco.
"What happened next?" Severus asked.
A range of emotions flashed across Draco's face. He swallowed hard before he spoke.
"I thought he would just pull down the spell. I swear." Draco insisted again.
Severus made an impatient 'get on with it' motion with his hand. He didn't have time for this.
"He…He started screaming and banging on the door. I…He…He was begging." Draco said a little shakily.
Severus closed his eyes again and brought a hand to his temple. He rubbed firmly at it.
"I…I cancelled the spell…He ran past me like he didn't even see me. I heard the floo and when I came down, he was gone." Draco said quietly.
Severus looked at Draco for a long moment.
"Did you hear where he went?" Severus asked.
Draco shook his head.
Severus sighed.
"Is there anything else?" Severus asked.
Draco looked a little unwell and looked away from Severus.
"I...Er…I don't want to make assumptions. I think you should probably go up to the bathroom." Draco said quietly.
Severus studied him for a moment before nodding and heading up the stairs.
He could hear Draco following him up. When he reached the bathroom, he pushed the door open and saw the blood. He clenched his jaw. The anger he felt was mostly at himself but if he wasn't careful, it would likely come out at Draco. The boy should not have locked the door, but it did not sound like he'd been doing it maliciously.
"Go to your room, Draco. I have calls to make." Severus said as neutrally as he could.
When he didn't hear Draco leaving, he turned to face him.
Draco looked like he was going to protest but quickly his shoulders slumped, and he nodded. He turned and went into his room before closing the door.
Severus waved his wand and vanished the blood and his disassembled razor. He closed the door and saw that there were smudges of blood all over it. Harry must have been pounding on the door to be let out. He must have been terrified. Severus shook his head at the mental image that formed.
He cast a scourgify at the door and walked back down the hall.
When he opened Harry's door he realized that all of his things were gone. The room stood empty, other than the black kitten asleep on the neatly made bed.
His heart sank and his stomach felt twisted in knots.
With one last look around the room he swept back downstairs. He needed to make several calls.
Severus had called Mary to let her know Harry had taken off. He had gone to her last time he was distressed like this. Draco said he had taken the floo, but they had been away from the house for a while and there was a chance he had returned.
She had agreed to keep an eye out and asked that Severus call when he was found.
Severus was now standing in front of the floo trying to decide who to contact.
He had just started to believe that Harry wouldn't run away again. Unfortunately, if Harry had truly run away again, he didn't think they would find him. As he had told Lupin, the only reason they had located him last time was because he had come out of hiding.
Severus grabbed a pinch of floo powder and threw it in.
"Minerva McGonagall's office, Hogwarts." Severus said.
He kneeled down and stuck his head in the flames.
"Minerva." Severus called.
A moment later Minerva appeared.
"Severus?" Minerva said kneeling in front of the floo.
"You haven't seen Harry, have you?" Severus asked. He didn't think the boy would flee to the school, but it was one of the places they regularly went.
Minerva's face got pinched and she shook her head.
"No. I've been on patrol all morning. Did he run away?" Minerva asked.
Severus sighed and nodded.
"I'll go up and check the training room and the library. I don't think he's here, but I'll make sure." Minerva said softly.
Severus nodded.
"Thank you, Minerva." Severus said.
Minerva nodded and then closed the floo.
Severus sighed and grabbed another pinch of floo powder.
Sirius sighed as he flopped back on the couch. He and Remus had taken to running in the woods every day as the moon would rise. Remus had to be shifted for an hour per Harry's assessment and it got them out of the house. Some days like today they would run for an hour, others they would spend nearly the entire day running around in the woods.
He looked at the clock and saw that it was just after one. They should probably have some lunch and then check in with Albus. They had been going through some paperwork for him. Sirius still wasn't really sure what they were looking for, but they were to look over it and make notes of anything that stood out. Whatever that meant.
Sirius smiled as Remus walked out of the hall. He was damp from a shower. He had a towel wrapped around his waist and another in his hand ruffling his hair. He smiled softly and Sirius felt his heart melt. This quiet life hidden away from the world was what he had always dreamed of. Just him and Remus and quiet lazy days.
"You want me to start lunch?" Sirius asked from his reclined position on the couch.
"If you can avoid setting the place on fire, sure." Remus said with a smirk.
"One time!" Sirius argued as he stood from the couch and walked towards the kitchen.
Remus laughed and Sirius heart sung.
"I can start that if you want to grab a shower." Remus said.
Sirius shot him a look and shrugged a little. Remus insisted on showering when they came in from there run. Sirius on the other hand had spent a lot more time as a dog and it didn't bother him nearly as much.
"You saying I smell?" Sirius joked over his shoulder as he dug in the fridge.
Remus laughed a little.
"No, but you're not exactly fresh either." Remus said stepping up next to Sirius.
Sirius shot him a halfhearted glare and sighed.
"Fine. But I want meat. You better not make another plate of rabbit food for lunch." Sirius said.
Remus laughed again and nodded.
Sirius planted a sloppy kiss on Remus' cheek before heading for the shower.
Sirius returned half an hour later, clean and dressed with a grin on his face. The smile quickly fell when he noticed there was nothing on the table and Remus was sitting very quietly on the couch.
Sirius walked over and looked down at Remus who seemed to be just staring into space.
"What's going on?" Sirius asked softly, though there was a tinge of anxiety in his voice.
Remus gave him a sad look and Sirius felt his stomach twist.
"Severus just called. Harry ran away again. He was calling to see if we had seen him." Remus said with a sigh.
Sirius sat down next to Remus and just stared down at his hands.
"Do you know what happened?" Sirius asked.
Remus shrugged.
"Severus didn't say." Remus said.
Sirius ran a hand over his face. His stomach churned with worry.
"Severus said he hurt himself again." Remus added quietly.
Sirius clenched his jaw. He hated this. It was the only thing in his life that still felt wrong. He wanted Harry here with them. He didn't care what Albus thought or what was happening with his case. He just wanted Harry here with them.
Bill had been stuck on other assignments and hadn't had a chance to look at the wards again. It was infuriating. They wouldn't risk Harry's safety. However, the longer all this went on, the more Sirius wondered if having Harry here were they could help him wouldn't be worth the risk.
Harry was missing again and what kind of protection would he have out in the world on his own? He was a powerful wizard but he was still young and inexperienced.
"He has to stop running away. He's going to get himself killed." Remus growled a little.
Sirius knew the anger wasn't at Harry but more at Harry's response to run. They also were unsure how to change that habit. They had talked about it a little. Harry seemed to bolt when he was upset, and Remus was worried one of these times he would run right into more trouble.
It was only one of many troubling things when it came to Harry.
Sirius nodded.
"Should we go look for him?" Sirius asked quietly.
Remus just shook his head.
"Severus is going to call the Burrow. Then he's going to contact Tonks. She's on guard in Diagon today. Severus said he left by floo. He could be anywhere. There isn't a good place to start looking right now. I told him to call if there was anything to do. Otherwise, we will be here in case he shows up." Remus said with a sigh.
Sirius nodded. He hated waiting.
He knew they were right. There wasn't a good place to start looking and it sounded like Severus was already contacting who they needed to. If he couldn't locate Harry, Sirius imagined they would all be searching like they had been when he'd run away from Surrey.
Sirius leaned back on the couch and worried his lip. He didn't know how to help Harry. He had so many issues. The living situation wasn't making anything easier. It seemed like he and Snape were starting to get along. However, Harry was now being forced to live with his school enemy. Sirius was sure that wasn't helping.
Sirius shook his head imagining if he and Snape had been forced to live together at that age. They would have killed one another.
He also felt bad that they hadn't been able to see Harry on Friday. They'd been in a meeting with Amelia and by the time they were free it was time to go to the Order meeting. They had seen Harry and Malfoy outside Albus' office, but they had clearly been in trouble.
Snape had said they had disregarded his rules and he had rushed them away right after the meeting.
Remus had talked to Snape briefly about Harry's behavior on Thursday but it hadn't been brought back up. They had both been worried and this just proved there concerns were founded.
Remus leaned back on the couch and laid his head on Sirius shoulder.
They sat there quietly staring at the fireplace. Waiting.
Severus sat tensely in his armchair. It was nearly dinnertime, and no one had seen Harry.
Tonks had promised to be quiet about the fact that Harry was missing and would keep an eye out. She had also checked in with Fred and George at their shop and then Bill at the bank. She hadn't told them what was going on and played it off as just checking in. None of them seemed like anything was out of the ordinary.
When he had called the Burrow, he had briefly talked to Molly. He had said he was calling to check on their potion stores. He hadn't informed her that Harry was missing, but he knew that if Harry had shown up there, she would have said something.
Severus had wracked his mind and couldn't figure out where he could have gone. He'd considered contacting the MacMillian's. He didn't think Harry was close with any of the Hufflepuffs, but they were how he had ended up in Cokeworth. He didn't want to spread that Harry was missing just yet though, and he had no reasonable excuse for contacting them casually.
With a sigh he stood and climbed the stairs. Draco had not come out of his room since Severus had sent him there earlier.
Severus needed to talk to him. Now, was as good a time as any.
Severus rapped on the door twice and waited.
When Draco answered the door, he had a bored expression plastered on his face.
"Can I come out now?" Draco asked, a slight sneer on his face.
Severus took a deep breath. He would not yell at Draco, but he was skating on thin ice.
"I would like you to join me in the sitting room." Severus said before walking away and back down the stairs.
Draco's brief concern earlier about Potter had evaporated somewhere after the second hour that he had spent in his room.
He had paced his room for a while and thought about what had happened and finally dismissed it as Potter being dramatic. Probably looking for more attention.
When he'd finally settled on his bed with his quidditch magazine he had started to get angry about the situation. How dare Severus send him to his room? He wasn't some little kid!
Now he was standing in the sitting room with his arms crossed waiting for Severus to say something. He was sure he was going to be blamed for Potter taking off. Like he'd personally thrown Potter through the floo.
"Sit Draco." Severus growled.
Draco's jaw clenched and he sat heavily in the armchair across from Severus.
They just staired at each other for a long time. Draco eventually looked away. He'd never been able to hold eye contact with Severus when he knew he was in trouble. He hadn't been able to do it when he was six and apparently, he couldn't do it at sixteen.
"Why did you leave home?" Severus drawled.
Draco shot Severus an incredulous look. The man knew why he had left.
"I think that would be rather obvious, don't you think?" Draco asked.
Severus raised an eyebrow and just kept Draco pinned under his dark stare.
Draco sighed.
"It wasn't like you and father always made it sound. They're insane." Draco spat.
Severus nodded and made a motion with his hand for Draco to continue.
Draco groaned.
"He took over our house, our money, our lives. I wasn't allowed to leave the house. I was being watched and followed all the time. They were always lurking in the halls and sneering at me. Talking about me. I was hexed and even slapped once. That doesn't even begin to describe what else was happening." Draco said. His voice started to raise as he spoke.
"I was dragged out of my bed nearly every night to watch them torture and kill. I was expected to participate. To cast on them. To kill them. I watched a professor be torn apart by his fucking snake not a foot from my face." Draco shouted.
There was a flicker of some emotion in Severus' eyes. Pain, he thought. It was gone too quickly to be sure.
"Every night I dreaded hearing footsteps outside of my room. Wondering if they were coming for me again. It was even worse when I heard the footsteps above my room. It's the one he took." Draco growled.
"He was raping them. The women who follow him. Some of the men too…I think. Some would just fall into bed with him. But not all of them. Some of them screamed and begged and cried. There wasn't anything I could do. I was just thankful it wasn't my mother up there. I thought it every night; at least it's not mum…." Draco said with a choked sob as tears rolled down his face.
Draco clenched his jaw and wiped his face with angry swipes.
"My parents wouldn't speak to me. They wouldn't even look at me. Father was so broken when he returned from Azkaban. Mother was like a ghost. I almost never saw her. Father was at work. I wasn't even allowed to contact my friends." Draco growled.
"I worried every day that they would drag me into the middle of that circle and kill me. Torture me into insanity. Leave me as some kind of useless husk." Draco's voice became higher, nearly hysterical.
"Instead, they held me down and let that psychopath brand me...Brand me! Like property! He wanted me to go on a suicide mission. Kill Dumbledore!? He's insane. I'd be dead long before I even got close." Draco continued.
"Your right I'm never going to be able to get away from it." Draco's voice quieted as he sat back in the chair in defeat, glaring at his arm.
They sat in silence for a long moment.
"You've seen the horror's that are being committed in this war. I'm sorry that you have had to face that. Can you tell me why you left?" Severus asked again.
Draco gave Severus a confused look. Hadn't he just explained every reason for him fleeing his home.
"I'm not like them! They were torturing muggles! They didn't deserve that! They were going to torture a magical child! How could I stay!?" Draco shouted like Severus just wasn't hearing him.
Severus nodded his head and then brought a finger to his lips in thought.
"Tell me if you remember how the inner circle would go about torturing the people they caught?" Severus asked.
Draco raised an eyebrow. Severus had been a Death Eater. He knew exactly what they did to people.
"Would they cause serious damage right away? Would they pass out or die right away? Would they cast the most severe spells at them to start?" Severus asked, leaning forward, and pinning Draco with an intense stare.
Draco shook his head.
"No. They would cause as much pain as they could. They would cut them so they would start bleeding. Cast burning curses and bone breakers. They would draw it out as long as they could. If they passed out or died the 'fun' was over. They usually didn't cast anything deadly until they were almost dead anyway." Draco said, swallowing hard at the memories.
He could see their faces clear in his mind.
Severus nodded.
"And you don't believe they deserved it?" Severus asked.
Draco shook his head.
"Of course not. It was sick. They're cruel and insane." Draco said with conviction, meeting Severus' eyes.
Severus nodded and sat back in his chair.
"What did Harry do to deserve it?" Severus asked calmly.
Draco shook his head in confusion.
"I healed dozens of marks from stinging hexes. Easily a dozen cuts and burns all over him. He had broken bones and a few severe burns. I only saw what was above his waist. I don't even know what kind of damage you might have done to his legs." Severus said.
Draco's jaw clenched. He knew Potter would go tattle instead of just fighting back. Now he was going to get in trouble for a few hexes.
"You say you left because you're not like them. That they are cruel and insane. What are you Draco? You covered him in injuries. You may not have had help. You might not have killed him or tortured him into insanity, but can you not see what you did?" Severus asked.
Draco felt the blood drain from his face.
Did Severus think he had tortured Potter? Did he think he was like those monsters?
"Potter could have fought back." Draco snapped.
Severus raised an eyebrow.
"Could he? I informed you both that I wouldn't tolerate you raising a wand to anyone in this house." Severus asked.
Draco ground his teeth.
"He didn't fight back or cry or yell or anything. Clearly it wasn't that bad. How can you compare a few hexes to what those monsters do?" Draco growled.
Severus sighed and his eyes seemed darker somehow as he stared at Draco.
"Why do the Death Eaters stop casting when they pass out? You forced two muggles into unconsciousness, why?" Severus asked.
Draco felt dread pool in his stomach.
"Because…Because they stop reacting." Draco said a little shakily.
Severus nodded.
"Perhaps Harry refused to react in the hopes you would stop." Severus offered.
Draco grit his teeth again and glared at Severus.
"So that makes me like them?" Draco spat.
"He's a child. A magical child. Is he not?" Severus asked.
Draco just stared at Severus. Anger tight in his chest.
"You saved Mr. Heart because he was a magical child that was going to be tortured. Right? Harry is a child. Just like you and Mr. Heart. What did he do to deserve that Draco?" Severus asked again.
Draco kept his jaw tight and just shook his head.
"He's not a child." Draco finally growled.
Severus raised an eyebrow.
"Really? He's only fifteen. He's not even as old as you are now. You are a child are you not? One who still requires a guardian and guidance? What did he do to deserve that? Severus asked again.
Draco felt the anger boil over, and he jumped to his feet.
"Nothing! Okay? He didn't do anything! I was just angry. I wanted him to suffer like I have this summer. I didn't know he was here when you told me I would be staying with you. I thought things were finally going to be okay. I just wanted something normal and familiar. I didn't want him here. I just wanted it to be me and you. You're always watching him like he's going to fall apart. You're so concerned about him. Why? Because he's the boy-who-lived? Because he's the golden boy? Why? Do you even care about what I've been through this summer? Do you even care about me at all?" Draco yelled.
Severus sat there neutrally and watched him.
"Please sit down." Severus said quietly.
Draco clenched his fists at his side and sat with a huff. He stared resolutely at Severus waiting for him to respond.
"I'm sorry that you have had such a trying summer Draco. I know it couldn't have been easy living like that. I'm also sorry that I did not inform you that Harry was also residing here this summer. It was not my intention to blindside you." Severus started.
"I need you to know Draco you are my godson. You are not being replaced or pushed out. I love you and I always will. I am here for you. I will do anything in my power to help you. I did not intend for you to feel that I didn't care. This has been a difficult summer. I am doing my best to house two students I didn't intend on housing. I've made mistakes and I'm sure they won't be the last ones I make." Severus said earnestly.
Draco felt traitorous tears well in his eyes and tried to blink them back.
"I know that this situation is not ideal. However, this is the situation, and it is unlikely to change right away. I'm fully aware that you do not get along with Harry. For the time being though we will all be sharing a house, and I cannot allow you to continue with this behavior. I will strive to do a better job balancing my attention, but I need you to come to me when you feel you need something. Even if that is just to talk or spend time. I will be here for you when I can be, but you need to do your part." Severus explained.
Draco crossed his arms and looked down. He was not pouting he told himself.
"Why do you care so much? You've always acted like you hated him." Draco grumbled.
Severus sighed.
"This summer has allowed me to see him in a different light. Outside of school and the public eye. I've learned he isn't exactly who I always thought he was." Severus answered.
Draco raised an eyebrow in question.
"At one time you longed to be friends with the boy-who-lived." Severus said.
Draco cringed at his childish hero worship.
"I'm not telling you that you need to befriend him. However, I will implore you to get to know him. Disregard what you have been fed by your parents and friends and the Prophet. Actually get to know him if you can. I think you will be surprised by the person you meet. If nothing else, he will be a powerful ally to have in this war. Turning him away or making an enemy of him would not be a wise move." Severus advised.
Draco sighed and nodded.
He really wasn't interested in getting to know Potter. He wanted his friends back. He supposed he could at least be neutral.
"Very well. I believe we should have dinner and you should get off to bed." Severus said quietly.
Draco looked at Severus and saw the exhaustion on his face.
"They still haven't found him?" Draco asked.
Severus just shook his head.
Draco bit his lip. He didn't really care that Potter was gone. It's what he had wanted since he had arrived, but he didn't like how much distress it was clearly causing Severus.
"Figured he would have gone to Weasley or Granger." Draco commented.
Severus sighed again and stood.
"I…I'm sorry. About what I did. You're right I shouldn't have cast on him. The fight at the school was my fault too." Draco said softly.
He knew that Severus was disappointed in him, and it hurt more than he liked to admit.
Severus nodded.
"I appreciate you taking responsibility for your actions. However, I am not the one who you owe an apology too." Severus said softly as he walked out of the sitting room.
Draco sat back in the chair and sighed.
This had been an exhausting conversation and had left him with a lot to think about. He hadn't mentioned what he had seen in the bathroom and decided he wouldn't. It wasn't any of his business. He would leave Severus to deal with it.
Draco groaned as he realized he was actually hoping they found Potter. He knew Severus would be concerned and distracted until he was found.
With another sigh he pushed himself out of the armchair and followed Severus to the kitchen.