Continuing Dates- Chapter "Remembrance"
Setting: Anniversary date of when Barry Frost and Riley Cooper were lost in the line of duty
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"Thank you, Angela." Maura Isles-Rizzoli stood up after hugging Little Barry, who promptly ran for his cousin, TJ the moment his mother's arms loosened from around him.
"Haa, it's nothing!" The Rizzoli matriarch exuberantly dismissed with a slight wave of her hand. "Barry's welcome anytime."
The doctor could only smile at her mother-in-law as the two women watched the boys playing in the living room. "I feel that I should caution you," she remarked, "Little Barry's quite the bundle of energy. Jane's often observed how it seems like he's never still from the moment he awakes to when he goes to sleep."
Angela could only chuckle in her throat. "He's a Rizzoli, isn't he? He reminds me a lot like Janie… as well as his uncles."
The honey blonde returned the grandmother's chuckle as she accepted a mug of hot tea from Angela. "He definitely has Jane's energy. He's even learning to swim from her; however, I believe Jane's getting him to swim more for our sakes."
"Yeah, that was one of the reasons I especially made Janie and Frankie take a lot of swimming lessons when they were kids. Sometimes I often wondered if Jane and Frankie especially fed off each other growing up."
Maura could only nod as she took another drink from her tea, unsure what to say in response. She mainly inquired with Angela to have Barry stay overnight due to her wife's subdued nature this past week and the likelihood of what she anticipated from the previous year. This particular date was the anniversary of Riley Cooper and Barry Frost, the Rizzoli-Isles son's name sake were lost in the line of duty under Jane's leadership of the Navy Seal team. Although Jane hadn't specifically said that she was going to the Dirty Robber this evening, to Maura, it was only natural for Jane to hang out with her fellow sailors and have drinks in their memory.
My primary concern is how long Jane will be there and how much she'll drink, Dr. Isles-Rizzoli wondered as she looked up from nearly contemplating her tea to her son and nephew playing. I wonder how much longer it will be before he notices Jane's changes of mood during this time of year? I know we can't shield it from him forever, but I hope we'll be able to explain it to him at an appropriate age to where he can properly understand. He could already…
A gentle chime started sounding from inside the doctor's purse and Maura excused herself to go retrieve her phone. The Dirty Robber's phone number was displayed on the phone's screen and the honey blonde realized the time was later than she had estimated. "Hello?"
"Hey Maura," Korsak's voice replied as loud raucous laughter were audible in the background.
"Hello Vince," Maura returned, unable to smile to herself as additional shouts and laughter grew. "Are things getting out of hand there?"
The retired Navy Seal's voice laughed. "No, this is actually mild compared to other times. However, I believe you should be ready to come retrieve Jane when the place closes… I've already locked up hers and other members' keys so there won't be anyone driving under the influence…" there was a sudden burst of riotous voices in the background.
Maura glanced towards Angela who had moved into the living room to be near her grandsons, but the honey blonde could detect the subtle indicators of Jane's mother listening to the physician's side of the conversation. "Is something happening there?" Maura couldn't help a slight chuckle as she heard more jeering shouts.
A chuckle from Vince's side sounded. "Oh, it's just one of the usual drinking games between some of them and one just passed out."
Maura couldn't help the slight shake of her head as memories of seeing Jane take part in drinking games in the past. "Let me guess, Jane's still in the lead?"
Vince Korsak chuckled again. "Yeah, she is. Despite being Captain Cavanaugh's aid for the past few years and not being on active battle readiness status anymore, she's still holding on to her long term status of being able to out drink anyone. The petty officer who just fell out was challenging her specifically on those grounds."
The honey blonde closed her eyes both in amusement and concern. It was only natural for Jane to defend her hard earned status as a former Seal Team Leader and possibly other aspects Maura wasn't privy to. Nevertheless, as a doctor, Maura couldn't help but be concerned for Jane's overall health long term wise.
"Okay Vince," Maura finally spoke while concealing a sigh. "I'll be there after closing, but if you need me to arrive sooner, just let me know."
"I will," Vincent Korsak promised and they said their goodbyes.
"Everything all right with Janie?" Angela almost immediately inquired after Maura closed down her phone.
The honey blonde simply nodded, keeping the memories of Jane being triumphant in the past so that it wouldn't feel like a stretching of the truth. Plus she hoped Angela wouldn't push too much into how Jane was doing considering some of the friction the mother and daughter had had in the past.
The Dirty Robber
Despite the appearance of a closed business establishment- primarily the darkened lights, Maura Isles-Rizzoli found the door unlocked as she opened and entered the The Dirty Robber.
Petty Officer Jenkins was passed out with his head on the table closest to the bar with his crutches leaning against a neighboring table. Shot glasses were scattered on the remaining table surface near his head. Fellow Navy Seal Joe Grant was sitting across from Jenkins slumped forward on the table with a large glass of water in his hand. The doctor couldn't help but notice his eyes half open, nearly on the verge of falling asleep.
Korsak's head popped up from behind the bar and noticed Maura standing just inside the door. The retired Navy Seal simply gestured towards a table near a back corner. Dr. Isles-Rizzoli nodded her thanks as she started for the table where she recognized Jane's long, dark hair in its usual disarray and curls down on her hunched over, broad shoulders. Shot glasses likewise were scattered about on the table along with a half dozen empty beer mugs. Jane was currently nursing a half full mug and Maura noticed two shot glasses nearby that were still full.
"You know, you'd be better off drinking water like Grant over there." Dr. Isles remarked as she pulled up a nearby chair from another table and sat down.
"Yeah," Jane huffed out a sigh and seemed to hesitantly drink from the beer mug. "I kno-know." She shyly looked up at her wife. "J-Jus… can..'t st-stop… st-still hur…" the Navy Seal burped, which she clumsily tried covering with the back of her hand. "St-Still hurts," the brunette made an effort to clear her throat. "Still hurts… tha.. that they're g-gone."
Maura could only nod as she eventually followed Jane's line of slight to regard what was called: "The Wall of Honor" where fallen and killed in action pictures of Navy Seals were hung. A framed box containing a folded American Flag adorned a simple shelf underneath the framed pictures with 2 filled shot glasses sitting beside it, not coincidentally precisely centered beneath the framed pictures of Frost and Cooper.
"C-C'mon…" Jane's voice husked out as she plucked up one of the full shot glasses from the table and clumsily tried standing, only to sit back down.
"What?" Maura asked as she half rose from her seat in order to assist Jane's balance.
The Senior Chief Petty Officer nearly dropped her own shot glass while fumbling to retrieve the other. "Ya… You got-ta drin-k one… one…" Jane's hand nearly knocked the shot glass over as she lost her balance again.
"Here," Maura instructed while softly nudging her wife to re-take her seat. "Sit back down and I'll get it."
Jane half fell back into her chair while somehow managing to keep the shot glass in her hand from spilling.
Maura retrieved the other full shot glass. Even though Jane didn't specify, Dr. Maura Isles-Rizzoli understood what the Navy Seal was requesting. Any military spouse knew the custom of drinking in honor to those lost in the line of duty. It had not escaped Maura's notice of this particular date, especially of Jane's subdued nature the days prior to this one. The honey blonde made sure she gave her wife extra space this past week. Despite the Navy Seal's efforts to maintain her mental health, there were still bad days and difficult events such as today… the date Barry Frost and Riley Cooper died.
Jane managed to clear her vision after Maura picked up the shot glass. Despite the extremely low lighting, the Navy Seal- despite her bleary, drunken vision was able to see Maura's profile clearly. The low ambience fortuitously lit up Maura's face as the doctor turned to regard "The Wall of Honor."
The dark brunette felt tears well up in her eyes as she watched as Maura slowly lift her shot glass up. The Navy Seal's throat swelled up as she watched her wife reverently bow her head momentarily with her hazel eyes closed. After the long moment passed, Maura brought the shot glass to her lips as she raised her head.
Jane Rizzoli forced herself to swallow against the thickening lump in her throat as she watched Maura slowly drain the shot glass instead of "throwing it back" as the honey blonde tended to do with hard liquor. A few tears fell from the dark brown eyes as Jane's trembling hand wielding her own shot glass pressed against her own lips. Trying to slowly drink as Maura did, the Navy Seal almost choked against the lump in her throat, the alcohol burning intensely despite the hours of numbness already built up.
A sudden thud jarred Jane, causing the Navy Seal to clumsily try to stand up, only to slump back down into her chair. A hand gently grasped the strong shoulder, nearly startling Jane as a hand reached across her blurred field of vision.
"Wha… What?" The brunette stuttered as she tried to comprehend what was happening.
"It's okay," Maura's voice answered as she retrieved the dropped glass. "It's not broken."
Jane's vision remained blurred as she kept starring downward at the table. She couldn't clear her vision and sound, or could she have imagined it? Did somebody call her name?
"Jane?" Dr. Isles-Rizzoli shook her wife's shoulder. "Jane, can you hear me?"
"Uh… yeah," the brunette managed to answer. The Navy Seal coughed slightly as she struggled to focus. "Sorry… I-I," Jane tried looking up, rubbing her eyes. "G-Guess I mus… mus-ta zoned out… or something."
Dr. Isles-Rizzoli automatically could tell her wife was trying to conceal the fact the Navy Seal was crying and the coughing was fighting against the choking sob in her throat. Maura slowly reclaimed her chair as she wordlessly gave Jane the space to regain ahold of herself. Plus, the doctor knew that despite the intoxication, the Navy Seal could still compartmentalize her emotions and feelings. It was very rare for Jane Rizzoli to be this hammered and Maura always believed it best to simply wait things out whenever a wasted Jane was insistent about things such as Maura drinking a shot to Frost and Cooper's memory.
Beacon Hill
"Hey," Maura gently shook the Navy Seal's shoulder, waking a snoozing Jane. "We're home."
Jane mumbled incoherently as she straightened her posture in the seat. The brunette managed to unbuckle the seat belt and kept herself from getting tangled up as the doctor opened the passenger door for her wife.
"What's that, Jane?" Maura inquired as she grasped the brunette's nearest wrist as Rizzoli stumbled out of the car.
"Um… nuthin." Jane belched as she managed to climb back to her feet. "I c-can… manage," the Navy Seal insisted as she tugged her wrist away from Maura.
"You're sure?" the honey blonde reluctantly let go of her spouse's arm.
"Yea-Yeah… f-fine…" the brunette slurred and started walking towards the door only to trip over the single step. The honey blonde stifled her laugh as Jane caught herself from falling entirely through the door after Maura unlocked and opened it.
The doctor simply switched a few lamps to their low settings in order for the spec ops soldier to see her way through the living room yet not too bright on the inebriated eyes. Maura turned towards an indistinct sound from her wife. "What was that, Jane?"
The brunette leaned against the wall to steady herself. "Uh… wh-where's Lit-Little B-Barry?"
The honey blonde opened the door to the guest bedroom before turning back to the Navy Seal. "He's staying the night with Angela… she's also keeping TJ…"
Jane's smile transformed into a giggle. "A night with the grand kids?"
Maura couldn't help chuckling with her wife. "Something like that." She reached out for Jane's unsteady hand. "When has your mother ever refused to spend time with her grandchildren?"
Another grin adorned the brunette's face and anything she was about to say vanished with another belch, which triggered another fit of giggles and nearly caused both women to collapse on to the floor.
"Wh-Whoa…!"
"Watch out!" Maura tightened her grip on Jane's hand, trying to keep her balance only for the Navy Seal to end up sprawled on the floor and the doctor sitting with her back against the wall.
Jane dissolved into additional giggles as she managed to clumsily get herself into a sitting position. Maura couldn't help but laugh at the sheer ridiculousness of their state even though a part of herself was preparing for the "down side" of her spouse's mindset.
If last year is any indicator, the physician theorized as she continued to sit on the floor beside the sailor who was half laughing and half trying to catch her breath. There's no real definitive method here. Simply got to wait it out… like a storm.
"W-Why… a-are we g-going t-to the guess…guest-st… room?" Jane's voice slurred after Maura helped her wife to her feet.
The honey blonde couldn't help but roll her eyes. "Do you seriously believe you can safely traverse the stairs to our bedroom?"
Jane Rizzoli actually stopped and appeared to seriously consider the stairs in question before turning to regard her wife. "D-Did Maura I-Isles jus… use… s-sarcasm?" The brunette started laughing as she finished her question.
The doctor simply nudged her wife to sit upon the bed after entering the guest room. "Maybe," she couldn't help muttering as she knelt down to remove the sailor's shoes.
But I'm certainly not going to take that chance, Maura added mentally to herself. Nor would I want to watch Jane trying it on her own. The honey blonde couldn't help but remember Frankie assisting his sister up the stairs a few years prior after the Navy Seal ran out into the storming rain, believing to be seeing Frost and Cooper running through the neighborhood.
Another deep belch brought Dr. Isles-Rizzoli out of her thoughts. She looked up to find the sailor leaning forward with a fist covering her mouth. "Are you feeling sick, Jane?" Maura asked as she stood up and set her wife's shoes off to the side.
"Na… Not real.. ly…" the brunette burped again, "jus… jus f-feel-ing it deep… d-down."
Maura simply nodded and instructed Jane to remain seated on the bed and left the bedroom. Returning back into the kitchen, the honey blonde rummaged through one of the cabinets for a particular item. Finding it, the doctor fished it out from behind everything else stored in front. Obviously it's been some time since this has been used for anything, Maura thought as she straightened after closing the cabinet door.
The honey blonde returned to the guest bedroom to discover Jane slumped over sideways on the bed, with her head just below the pillows. The doctor simply sighed as she positioned the small bucket alongside the bed within easy reach should Jane suddenly become sick.
Taking advantage of her wife's unconsciousness, Maura quickly ascended the stairs and completed her nightly grooming routine and changed into one of Jane's t-shirts and sweat pants.
Jane was still out when Maura returned to the guest bedroom. The honey blonde managed to remove the sailor's pants and outer shirt, leaving the brunette in her t-shirt and boxers. A rumbling groan emerged from Jane's throat as the doctor was working the bed covers out from under the spec ops soldier's body. "Wha… Maur?"
"Shh, shh." Maura soothed with a gentle restraint to Jane's shoulder. "Just getting ready for bed."
An indistinct grunt answered as the Navy Seal managed to roll onto her back as Maura worked a pillow under her wife's head. After seeing to a few additional things, Maura returned to the guest room to find Jane still dozing on her back. Turning the lamp on Jane's side of the bed off, the honey blonde moved to the opposite side, switching on lamp's lowest setting, she got in the bed beside Jane.
The doctor turned onto her side towards the Navy Seal and initially started nudging the brunette onto her side in order to be the bigger spoon. Thankfully Jane Rizzoli turned with her back to Maura and the honey blonde firmly embraced her wife. While Dr. Isles-Rizzoli wanted to hold her spouse in support for the Navy Seal's continued grief and missing Barry Frost and Riley Cooper, Maura's primary reason was for in case Jane were to get sick in her sleep.
She's less likely to choke in her sleep with Jane being on her side. Maura thought as she gently tightened her arms around Jane. Thankfully it was a Friday night and both of them had the weekend free. And if last year is any indication, the doctor continued to theorize, Jane is likely to awaken periodically through the remainder of the night.
An indistinct sound came from Jane with a subtle shift in her body. Maura simply shifted her embrace around the sailor and pressed a soft kiss to the brunette's cheek cradled beneath her face. Hopefully Jane might sleep through the night… the honey blonde softly tightened her embrace, things don't necessarily repeat exactly as equations and formulas.
Flashback
Jane jumped; practically startled awake, jostling Maura who could have sworn she had been awake. The Navy Seal leaned over the side of the bed and vomited into the small bucket.
"Augh," Jane groaned as her head plopped back onto her pillow only to regret it as pain exploded throughout her head.
Dr. Isles-Rizzoli turned towards her bedside table and reached for a small bottle and a glass of water. "Here," she gently shook Jane's shoulder, "take these."
The Navy Seal managed to sit up and accept the pain reliever tablets. She immediately chased them with several sips of water.
"Try and drink the entire glass," Dr. Isles softly instructed when the brunette made a move to hand the glass back.
"Wha…What b-bout… you?" Jane's slurred voice inquired.
Maura couldn't help but smile. Even while dealing with the continued grief of lost friends and being hung over, it never failed to touch Maura on how Jane was always thinking of her and others.
"I'll get myself a glass when I go refill yours."
The sailor simply hummed in her voice made extra husky by the inebriation.
Jane was still lying on her back when the doctor returned with two glasses of water. She gently set Jane's down on the bedside table on her side before moving to her side of the bed. Maura made an extra effort to not jostle the bed too much as she resumed her place.
"I… st-still a-wake," Jane's voice husked out with a slight shift.
"I didn't want to disturb you," Maura took a small sip from her glass.
The Navy Seal released a full body exhale. "Ya… You never dis… turb me," her voice rasped out after swallowing thickly.
The honey blonde turned on her side towards Jane. "Is there anything you need?"
Jane removed her arm from over her eyes and looked blearily at her spouse. "Naw… Nothing real… listic… could u-use a… non… hurting… br-brain fer st…start-ers."
Maura couldn't help a soft chuckle as she accepted the sailor's hand reaching out towards her. Jane's opposite arm came back to cover her eyes. However, the brunette's hand in the doctor's tightened slightly and the honey blonde responded by softly caressing the back with her fingertips.
"I… Isit wrong?" Jane rasped, "norm… al ta… to still… sti…ill miss em? Ta still fe… eel the p-pain of… their los…oss?"
Maura gently tightened her grasp on Jane's hand. She had anticipated vulnerability in Jane's inebriated state, but not entirely to this degree. The Navy Seal was usually extremely guarded about her feelings regarding her comrades and friends, even around Maura. If the honey blonde ever heard anything, it was always whenever she accompanied her wife to therapy appointments.
"No," Maura finally responded along with another soft squeeze to Jane's hand. "No it's not wrong… and it's perfectly normal to still feel the pain and miss them. In fact, I imagine it's going to be a lifelong process of where we'll always miss them. The pain will eventually fade, but I doubt it'll ever fully go away."
The honey blonde shifted closer to her wife, bringing their joined hands up on Jane's chest and softly touching her head to Jane's shoulder near her. "There'll be days when you can manage it just fine while there will times where it seems to take everything to simply make it through the day. Like last night, you needed to drink in their memory as well as trying to dull the pain."
"S-So… there w…ill never be a ta-time when it'll b… be cured?" Jane inquired after several long moments.
"I'm afraid not, my love." Maura couldn't help the sigh in her words. "Like the surgery to help restore some of your hearing… while you're able to hear again, it's not entirely the same as your ability prior to the explosion. Some of your hearing has been permanently lost and your brain has had to learn to compensate for that loss with what hearing you have remaining. Same with mental health in which the therapy is helping you to learn how to compensate for the loss of Barry and Riley."
Jane released another full body sigh. "Well, i-it… cer… tainly hu… hurts a-at tha… moment."
Maura released her wife's hand and reached across the spec ops soldier's body into a full embrace. "I know," she nearly whispered. "I know it does."
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Hi everyone, sorry it has taken us so long to post a Chapter, Pyrocopwolf227 and I both has been going through some things in our lives, but we have not abandoned out story, just going to take sometime to come back to it. I post this for Memorial day, hope everyone have a good one, Terri411 and Pyrocopwolf227