Chapter 7

A couple months later, Elizabeth woke up feeling sick to her stomach. She got up slowly, thinking it would pass, but ended up having to run to the outhouse, where she vomited.

"Are you okay, Lizzy?" Charlotte asked when she returned to the cabin.

"I think so. It must just be some kind of stomach bug."

"Well, why don't you just relax while I get you a glass of water."

"Thanks, Charlotte."

For the last week, Charlotte Lucas had come to stay with Elizabeth at the cabin while Will worked with the other men on the neighboring farms to bring in the harvest. He had become less protective since their argument after the assault, but still didn't want to leave her by herself for five days. It got to the point where he was considering not going at all, when Charlotte came up with the solution. Elizabeth was grateful for her friend's quick thinking, and the two women had had a nice week together. They had harvested Elizabeth and Will's garden together, and Charlotte had helped her can all the fresh tomatoes, asparagus, onions, zucchini, green beans, carrots, and a variety of peppers. Elizabeth was glad to have her assistance, and thought she would be able to manage it all herself next time.

Elizabeth sipped her water as Charlotte made breakfast for herself, and once she felt a little better, got up and nibbled on a piece of bread left over from yesterday.

There were fewer chores with Will gone, and with the two women, they finished everything quickly, so they mostly had a lazy day. Elizabeth started to feel better by noon, and decided it must just have been something she ate. In the afternoon, Charlotte and Elizabeth walked together to the Long's farm, where the men would be finishing the harvest today.

Elizabeth was excited to see Will again. She had developed deep feelings for him in the months she had known him, even though most of the time he was taciturn and uncommunicative. He never opened up to her about anything, even when she asked him specific questions. He would either answer in a few words or turn the conversation aside. She knew that he felt protective of her, that he wanted her to find contentment in their life together, but it was clear he still viewed them as having a practical arrangement rather than a romantic relationship. Although sometimes that was difficult to believe when he kissed her so sweetly and made sure she had at least one orgasm every night.

But Elizabeth at least knew enough about the world to realize that sex was not love. Just because Will liked having sex with her, wanted to give her pleasure, did not mean he loved her.

Not like she loved him.

When they reached the Long's farm, Elizabeth and Charlotte joined the women in the kitchen to prepare dinner for the men, who came in to wash up and eat within the next hour. Elizabeth watched for Will, but he did not come in with the others. Slightly worried, she went to the back porch to look for him. He was standing at the end of one row, clearly making sure everything was in order before he came inside.

Elizabeth knew Will was a perfectionist, but she had thought that he might have missed her too, that he would want to come in and see her as soon as he could, and her feelings were more and more hurt the longer she waited.

At last, after about fifteen minutes, while everyone else had already started to eat, Will turned around and made his way toward the house. She knew when he saw her because he made his way straight toward her.

"Well, I'm glad to see you're finally finished," she said, trying to sound pleasant instead of snappish, although she was feeling annoyed with him.

"Were you waiting for me?" he asked, taking her hand and walking along quickly to the side of the house.

"Of course I was! And you were – where are we going?" she asked as he pulled her behind the garage.

He did not answer as he pressed her against the wall and leaned in to kiss her.

Elizabeth at once melted. She loved Will's kisses even more than she loved the orgasms he gave her. The kisses seemed more intimate, almost loving. He pushed his tongue into her mouth and she moaned even as he groaned and slicked their tongues against each other. He brought his hands up to her breasts and fondled them through her shirt even as he kissed down her neck.

"Will! What if someone sees?" she gasped.

"They're all inside eating dinner."

Elizabeth stopped protesting when she felt his finger slicking through her wet folds and his mouth came back to hers. They kissed until both of them were panting, and Will pulled back to unzip his pants, pull down her panties and lift her skirt. "You need any more foreplay, darlin'?" he asked.

"No, no, Will, I want you now!" she panted. "But how are we going to –"

"Standing up. Like this."

"Standing? But –"

Her words stopped on a moan as he wrapped her legs around his waist and slid into her. She always loved the first penetration of his thick erection. She had liked it even before she knew it was possible for her to come. She wrapped her arms around his neck and returned his hungry kisses as he thrust into her in a rough, urgent rhythm. The rough surface of the wall behind her was not exactly comfortable, but she didn't care. She could feel that now-familiar welling of pleasure rising in her, and, as if he knew she was close, Will reached down between their bodies to massage her clit with his finger.

He stifled her cry with his mouth as she came, a moment later shuddering and stifling his own groan as he pulled out and ejaculated on the ground.

They both caught their breaths and put themselves in order before Will pulled Elizabeth into his arms. "I missed you, darlin'," he said.

"I missed you too," she replied, even as an insecure part of her told her that it was the sex he missed, and not her. After all, that was the first thing he had immediately focused on when seeing her again. She tried to dismiss the upsetting thought, and instead followed him into the house, afraid that people would know that they had just crept off to have sex.

Fortunately, if anyone suspected, no one said anything.

The next morning, Elizabeth woke up feeling sick again. She crawled over Will, waking him in the process, and tried to settle her stomach with some water and toast, the way she had yesterday, thinking she must have caught some kind of stomach bug after all. She was feeling a bit better by the time Will shuffled into the kitchen for breakfast. He was always slow to wake in the mornings, and she was grateful for that today. She didn't want him to see that she wasn't feeling well. The smell of the eggs she was scrambling almost made her gag, but she managed not to vomit as she served Will his breakfast. He lifted his fork but then looked at her place. "You're not eating?"

"I had some toast before you got up," she said.

His brows furrowed. "Toast isn't enough for breakfast."

"I'm not very hungry this morning," she said in what she hoped was a breezy voice.

Will frowned but said nothing more.

It wasn't until a full week had passed of feeling sick every morning that Elizabeth realized what was going on.

She was pregnant.

She had no idea how it was possible. Will had consistently pulled out every single time they had sex, even when she was having her period. But she had not had her period for two months, and she remembered when her mom was carrying Lydia, she had been sick every morning, just as Elizabeth was now.

Elizabeth was terrified.

She and Will had never discussed children. He had never once mentioned wanting to have a baby, to have a family. When he had brought his idea to her, he had talked about a practical arrangement. And given the fact that he pulled out every time they had sex without fail, he obviously did not want children.

Was there something she should have been doing to prevent pregnancy? Was this her fault?

She had no idea what she was going to do.

This was obviously not following her end of the deal. The pregnancy was most likely her fault, but she had been so ignorant about sex, she didn't know what she should have been doing to prevent it. She should have asked Charlotte about birth control before she had moved in with Will, but she had been so naïve, she had not even considered pregnancy. But then with Will pulling out every time, it had never occurred to her that there was something she should have been doing. According to the short, awkward talk her mom had given her at age 13, it was a man's sperm fertilizing the egg that got a woman pregnant. But Will always made sure his sperm did not get inside her, so this must be her fault.

What if Will blamed her for the pregnancy? Her getting pregnant was not a part of their arrangement. He could still kick her out at any time. He had all the power in this transaction. If he saw her as not keeping up her end of the bargain, he could evict both her and the baby.

And a baby was obviously not part of the agreement.

As she skinned and deboned the rabbits Will had brought her, trying not to gag, she thought through her options.

Not for one second did she consider actually telling Will about the pregnancy. Soon enough it would be self-evident to him, but she would have to figure something out before then. It would be at least a couple more months, she thought, until she started to show, at least to someone who knew her body as intimately as Will did. It all came down to one, indisputable fact:

She had no options.

It was mostly likely her fault that she was pregnant. She had been too ignorant of sex to know how to prevent a pregnancy. It was probable that Will would see that she had not kept to her end of the bargain. If he kicked her out, there would be no way to save herself or the baby.

She did not want to believe the man she loved would do such a thing; but, after all, to him this was not love. He was not a cruel man, but this was a transaction. If she did not uphold her part of it, he would have no reason to keep her around. He could very easily move on to someone else. He was a hot commodity in this area, the only single man with his own situation and independence. She knew she was the envy of all the single women in the community, not just Caroline Bingley.

She felt sick at the thought of another woman in her place, of Will making love to another woman in their bed. She would never survive such a thing.

What on earth was she going to do?