Hi everyone. Sorry for being away for so long. I unfortunately fell ill and had to spend some time in hospital. I'm fine now, just had to take time to get better. Found it funny though that in my story my victim was drugged with the same drug I was prescribed by the hospital lol!
Chapter 40
It was a further ten days before Kate and Ted came to see Lottie in hospital. It wasn't for a lack of wanting; it was in order to make sure her statement couldn't be thrown out. Given the close relationship Lottie had with the AC-12 team, if Holly and Nicholas's teams caught wind of that fact then they could argue that her statement was collected unfairly by them so becoming invalid. To prevent this, Ted had Lottie's statement be collected by the AC-3 team with an appropriate adult to act as her support whilst giving the statement. A nurse also stayed with Lottie in case she came into medical distress over it. None of her family was allowed to be present and given her weakened state, it was recorded both audibly and on video. The statement took a couple of days to be collected and they had to wait until she was deemed fit enough to do it in the first place. It was mutually agreed between Ted, Steve, Kate, Jane and Joe that the truth about the pleas was kept from Lottie until she recovered enough. Akex, Jane and Joe came to see Lottie everyday and Lottie couldn't contain her tears when she saw Alex again. He was the medicine that she desperately needed and Steve couldn't help but feel envious that he had taken his place in rank for her affections.
Finally, after ten days, Lottie got moved onto a general ward but had her own side room, and with the statement officially logged, Ted and Kate turned up at the hospital.
"Well aren't you a sight for sore eyes?" Ted said on seeing Lottie. She turned her head towards the door and smiled. There stood Ted and Kate, he with a large bouquet of wild flowers already in a vase in his arms and she holding a variety of goodies and presents from the AC-12 team.
"It's wonderful to see you both," Lottie beamed. Steve, who was by Lottie's bedside, made room for their two visitors whilst they hugged Lottie one by one, Ted giving her a peck on the top of her head too. She was looking stronger and stronger by the day and now was off oxygen. Everyone, included her doctors, had been completely shocked to find that despite her injuries and the amount of time she went without oxygen that she had very little brain damage. Her speech and motor skills were fine although rusty at first and although it took some time to recover from everything, her memory proved to be unharmed. She was a miracle according to doctors.
In the span of the ten days though, it worried Steve how Lottie had changed. Sure, when she had the energy to talk or do some form of physical exercise she put on a smile but she couldn't hide the sadness in her eyes. She couldn't hide the fact that she didn't speak until spoken to. She didn't listen to music, deciding silence was all she needed. Worse of all for Steve, the gesture of stroking her cheek to get her to sleep or wake her up brought on panic attacks and made her physically sick. Although he didn't know it for certain as he never heard her statement, he knew it was something Nicholas did when she was being held and the memory had left a deep scar in her mind.
"Those are beautiful flowers, thank you," Lottie smiled looking at the array of flowers and colours the vase held.
"Given you haven't been able to go outside, we wanted to bring it to you. Bring Petal some petals," Ted explained.
General chit chat ensued but everyone noticed that Lottie just sat and smiled, not getting involved in the conversations at all. They all could see that her eyes were distant.
"Is everything alright?" Kate asked her at one point.
"No," Lottie finally muttered after a moment. "I need you to be honest with me. Why aren't you mad at me?" she asked.
"What do you mean?" Ted asked.
Lottie stared at them open mouthed. "I lied to you all. I hid evidence. I hacked his account. I told you nothing. I should rot in jail for what I did to you all. I should have died in that house. I'm the fuck up of the family and you … you're sat there like I'm … special. I'm not! … I ruined everything because I couldn't run away. I got scared and I lashed out because of it. So I didn't tell you anything …. I'm so sorry I messed up … I understand if you don't want to see me again," she explained and tears began to fall from her eyes.
"Now you listen to me Charlotte and you listen good," Ted instantly jumped in before anyone else could. The fact that Ted used her real first name surprised everyone. "If you didn't do what you did, Holly and Nicholas wouldn't have been arrested and charged. Christopher would never have been found. Vic's family would never have known what happened to him. Gwen would have continued to live in turmoil. Yes you should have told us and yes we will be sharing some words about that when you get stronger, but I can safely say; you are not a fuck up. We are your friends and family Lottie. We will never turn our backs on you. We love you too much to do that. You're still learning from life and life has thrown you a bad hand. It is how you handle it that is important and you handled it by getting two people convicted for murder and finding a missing person. Do tell me how that is ruining everything because I can't see how it is," Ted demanded from her. Lottie shrugged her shoulders.
"Am I going to faces charges for what I did?" she finally asked wiping her face dry.
"No Lottie, you're not. Given you have no criminal record, the hacking was out of character and your statement is needed, it was decided you would just get a warning that will be on your record for a year. To be honest, you cracked a case that the police couldn't solve in forty years. Can you imagine what the interest in you would be if the person who showed up the police got convicted? You co-operate with the process then all is fine," Kate explained.
"How long will they get in prison?" Lottie asked. Steve and Kate glanced at each other catching Lottie's attention. "What?" she asked.
"Lottie, we need to tell you something," Steve began. Lottie went wide-eyed and more tears fell. She knew what her brother was going to say before he said it. She appeared to crumble like a balled up piece of paper in the spaces of only a few seconds.
"No! No, please?! Please don't make me see him at the trial. I can't do it. I can't go back there!" she begged through sobs. Ted, being the closest to Lottie quickly stood up and pulled her into a hug. He held her to his chest and let her cry for as long as she needed. Kate reached out and squeezed Steve's hand knowing this was killing him.
"I think I need some help," Lottie mumbled into Ted's chest.
"We can organize that, and whatever you need, we are here for you," He whispered back, hiding his face from Steve and Kate so they couldn't see how upset he was by Lottie's broken soul.
"Lottie, can I ask you something?" Kate asked a little while later now that Lottie had composed herself.
"Sure."
"How did you know that Christopher was under the willow? We have gone through the recording, all the information you had on Nicholas and nowhere was it mentioned. It is unlikely he would have told you around the recording either given he had kept it a secret for four decades."
Lottie looked down at her lap and she fiddled with the edge of her bed sheets nervously.
"Off the record?" she asked.
"You know we can't get involved with your statement. Only friends here," Ted reassured her. Lottie nodded and was silent for several seconds before finally looking up from her lap.
"Do you believe in ghosts?" Lottie asked and a chill seemed to flutter through the room.
"No, pet" Ted replied and both Kate and Steve shook their heads.
"I told them lot from AC-3 that I saw the paintings of the willow in the house which was true … but I lied to them that it's how I figured it out."
"Then how did you?" Steve asked. Lottie looked at her brother and he saw no lie in her eyes.
"Christopher told me." The silence that followed was deafening. She expected at least one of them to react like she was crazy but no such reaction came.
"Go on," Steve encouraged her.
"When I was shot and cradled in your arms, Steve, I saw Christopher over your shoulder. He knelt by me and for some reason I felt safe. He wasn't there to harm me; he was coming to help me. I reached out to him and he took my hand … next thing I know I'm stood holding his hand looking down at my body and … I heard everything, saw everything that happened. The paramedics trying to bring me round, Steve you having to be pried off me … him getting treated as well. I spoke to Christopher and he told me that he was under the willow with a forget me not crown."
"Forget me not, what?" Steve asked.
"Crown. As in around or above his head were the forget me not flower," Kate explained. "So then what happened?"
"He told me that I could stay with him and so die, or I could go back … I decided I wasn't done yet with you lot. Besides, I had to get the message to you where he was. So I came back … you think I'm crazy don't you?"
"No, never," Kate responded and just as in the car that first time the two women spoke privately, Lottie heard no lie in Kate's voice.
"He was so sweet and sad. He wanted to go home. I had to make sure he got there. I don't think I'll even look at forget me nots in the same way," Lottie explained.
"There were none," Ted added catching Lottie's attention.
"No flowers?"
"None at all, but then given it is winter it's not all that surprising is it?" Ted asked. Lottie gave a short sharp shake of her head in response but everyone could see she was confused how the flowers weren't there and it plagued her the rest of the day.
Lottie was laying on her right side when Alex came to visit her later that day. He had to wait until mid-afternoon to see her now that she was on a general ward and so having to follow a pre-determined visitor's schedule. As soon as he walked in he knew today was a bad day. He had become so in tuned to her mental state in the time since she was admitted to now that he could feel her soul was in distress from the second he opened the door. She didn't even blink when he entered let alone move or look at him. Instead she kept her eyes locked on a random spot on the wall ahead of her and only the slow movement of her breathing indicated she was alive.
"So, who is better? The Cranberries or The Corrs?" he asked sitting down close to her so she could see him but she stared straight through him, unblinking.
"Today isn't a good day is it?" he asked and got silence in response. For the next half an hour he spoke and asked her questions. Told her about his day and how everyone was but got no reaction. Feeling tired and frustrated at the wall of silence he stood up to leave but a sound stopped him.
"Hold me" he heard her mutter. It was then he saw her eyes had glazed over with tears despite her continuing to stare ahead. Without saying a word he climbed up on the bed and spooned her from behind, trapping an arm over her torso, taking a hand in his. He was worried that the action might send her into a panic attack but she didn't make a sound and remained perfectly still.
"I think I'm sick Alex … I can't stop the darkness and I don't know if I ever will."
"I know. I know how that feels … PTSD is a monster. A monster I know well. But do you know what is just as stubborn? Me. I'll never leave you. I promise."
He felt Lottie's free hand reach up to cling onto his arm which reassured him. He knew in the depth of his soul that he would hold her tight and never let go no matter what trials and tribulations they would encounter and although he didn't doubt it before, that simple movement from her confirmed she would do the same for him.
"They pled not guilty. I have to see them at the trail," Lottie explained and he felt her begin to shake, not with tears but fear. He nuzzled her face into her neck and slowly the gesture calmed her shaking.
"Ssshhhh, we made a promise remember? One day at a time. That day is a long way away. Today we focus on this. Laying here and breathing. We can stay here forever if you want, or just a little why. Either way, it is today. Tomorrow may be the same or totally different. Either way, I am here for everything. I'm in this for the long haul whether you like it or not."
They lay there in silence for a while.
"The Cranberries are far better that The Corrs," Lottie said making Alex smile into her neck. She felt the subtle moment across her skin.
"You sure about that?" he asked.
"If you dare say that a song like Runway is anyway in the same league as Zombie we are over."
"No contest," he replied and softly kissing the back of her neck. The gesture made her tingle through her body.