The Time Twins and the Lonesome Ogre

by Ri2

After their disastrous final battle in the Zero Lab, time-displaced twins Julie and ANNA are sent to the distant land of Kitakami in hopes they can unwind and relax after everything that happened. However, it's not long before they find themselves involved with a Tsundere, a Yandere, a lonely ogre, and a not-so-loyal trio. Can the Time Twins save another region? Teal Mask AU

6. The Festival of Masks

Disclaimer: I don't own anything that doesn't belong to me.

---

"And here you go!"

Julie, ANNA, Briar, and the other students from Naranjuva looked in wonder at the colorful jinbei the caretaker presented them with. Each was a solid color and covered in images of a monkey, a dog, and pheasant, representations of the Loyal Three.

"My! These look very well crafted!" Briar announced.

"And just our sizes," Hohma noticed.

"Thanks! I spent all night sewing them," the caretaker bragged.

"Whoa, really?!" Ohara gasped.

"You did not need to go to all that trouble," ANNA told him.

The caretaker chuckled and waved a hand dismissively. "It was my pleasure. The really hard part was getting all of your measurements in your sleep without noticing."

Everyone stared at him. "What?" Julie asked.

"How the… Why would…" Ohara stammered.

"Not all of us were asleep," a shocked Briar pointed out. "How did you-"

"Oh, nothing you need to worry yourself about, I've had plenty of practice," the caretaker assured him.

They stared.

"That sounded a lot better in my head." He cleared his throat awkwardly. "Anyway! The sun is setting, which means the festival is about to begin! Go get those on quickly and head over! Oh, and I got you masks, too," he added, presenting them with an assortment of masks resembling a fearsome ogre, a wise monkey, a mighty dog, and a beautiful pheasant. There were also a Pikachu and Eevee mask because everyone loved Pikachu and Eevee.

"Did you make these as well?" Hohma asked.

"No, I bought them."

"You… Really didn't need to go to all this trouble," Briar told him, looking rather uncomfortable and guilty.

"Nonsense! I'm the caretaker, it's my job to, well, take care," he said with a chuckle.

"You didn't stay up all night making jinbei for everyone in the center, did you?" A concerned Ohara asked.

"No, of course not! Those ungrateful outsiders don't deserve them," he snarled, briefly frightening them before resuming his usual friendly smile. "So go on, put them on, I want to see them on you! And not a creepy way."

"I'm not sure I believe you," Hohma said hesitantly.

Ohara hesitated, then lifted a hand. "Um… I'm sorry, but I kind of brought my own costume? For, you know, the O-PEN thing? But, um, I'd be happy to take that home with me as a souvenir-"

"No," the caretaker said bluntly, taking back her jinbei.

They stared at each other.

"Does anyone else have a costume of their own?" The caretaker asked with a hint of an edge.

"Well, I had planned to make my own as soon as I learned about the event-" ANNA started, only for the caretaker to take back her jinbei.

"No," he said.

"But I was just about to say that I'd be willing to wear-"

"No."

"I think you are being rather-"

"No."

ANNA decided to stop talking.

"Anyone else?" The caretaker asked testily.

Everyone else quickly shook their heads. (Except Aliquis, but they were certain if he could shake his head, he would.)

The caretaker was all smiles again. "Wonderful! Now-"

There was the sound of tearing fabric, and he screamed as if it was his own flesh being rent asunder. "What are you doing?!" He screamed at Julie.

"Making Ogress costume!" Julie said happily as she used her claws to cut and trim her green jinbei into a green cloak.

"I told you I would have made you one if you had asked," ANNA reminded her.

"And Julie told sister, Julie nyot like way sister's illusion feel on skin!" Finishing her alterations, Julie threw the cloak on and put on the ogre mask she'd been given. "How Julie look?"

"Like the spitting image of Ogress!" Briar said at the same time as Ohara squealed, "Adorable!" And ANNA said, "Like someone wearing a homemade Ogress costume thrown together at the last second."

"Thanks! That's what Julie going for!" The cat girl exclaimed.

"… Which?" A confused Hohma asked.

"Yes!" She replied very unhelpfully.

"When your time here in Kitakami is over, I want you to leave here and never return," the caretaker said coldly. "And if our paths ever cross again, you will suffer the curse of the Cross-Eyed Stantler."

Everyone stared at him.

"Don't you think that's a little excessive-" Briar started.

"THE CURSE OF THE CROSS-EYED STANTLER!"

---

"Finally!" Carmine, wearing a form hugging blue jinbei with a monkey mask set in her hair huffed as the group arrived at the gate leading into Kitakami Hall. "What took you so long? The festival got started ages ago!"

"It's only been five minutes," Kieran, wearing a white jinbei and an ogre mask, corrected her.

"Shut up, Kiki."

"We were held up getting changed, and apparently getting cursed," a very bewildered Briar, wearing a purple jinbei that accentuated her generous curves and a monkey mask of her own, explained.

"Cursed?" Carmine laughed. "There's no such thing as curses!"

"Just like there's no such thing as magic?" Kieran asked her.

Carmine hesitated. "What… What sort of curse?"

"The Curse of the Cross-Eyed Stantler, apparently," said Hohma, wearing a gray jinbei with a pheasant mask.

Kieran winced. "Oof, that can be a tricky one. Grandpa always said that if you got struck by the Curse of the Cross-Eyed Stantler, you should find a mystical Grookey with a white stripe on its back and a tail shaped like a W."

"… According to the Pokédex, there are no Grookey to be found anywhere in either Kitakami or Paldea," ANNA said after a moment. She was dressed like the Lunar Princess Kagu, having generated a hard-light sparkling kimono depicting what appeared to be a real-time image of the Earth from the surface of the moon, the hem dragging on the ground behind her. The sleeves hung down past her hands, her feet were clad in sandals made from bamboo, and over the kimono she wore a green tube resembling a bamboo shoot with a combination jetpack/oxygen tank on her back, her head enclosed in a bubble-shaped helmet. She had turned her eyes red, her face white, added a crescent mark to her forehead, turned her hair black and blonde and elongated it to trail past her feet, and grown a pair of antennas shaped like bunny ears from the top of her head. She also had a katana in a sheath resembling a bamboo shoot in her obi.

"Guess you're out of luck, then," Carmine sneered.

"Nyothing to worry about! Julie would know if we cursed," Julie said dismissively. "And if were cursed, could totally break it! Probably."

"Th-that's a really nice Ogress costume, Julie," Kieran said shyly.

"Thanks! Kiki look good, too!" Julie replied, causing Kieran to puff up, until Julie added, "Carcar also really pretty!"

"Y-you think I am?" Carmine spluttered, surprised, failing to notice Kieran's eyes darken and his fists to clench. "W-well of course you do! This kind of beauty comes effortless to me!"

"Is that why you spent three hours in the bathroom working on your makeup-" Kieran snarled.

"SHUT UP KIKI!"

Aliquis, wearing a yellow jinbei with a Pikachu mask, had nothing to say, but they were used to that by now.

"So, uh, should we go in…" Ohara asked hesitantly, gesturing through the gateway and up the stairs, where the festivities had already begun, people streaming through in droves to join in. She had dressed up as the Serpent Princess Zoraya, wearing a form-hugging costume made of gleaming red and gold scales with a long tail dragging behind her, clawed feet in delicate slippers, a bronzed armored brassiere covered in rubies and a pair of big snake eyes, fangs growing from her knuckles, a loincloth hanging to the ground covered in serpent imagery, and a snake mask with real glowing eyes and fangs framing her mouth. The cat ears growing from the top of her head somewhat spoiled the vibe of the costume, but that couldn't be helped.

"If we must," Carmine sniffed, turning up her nose and starting up the steps.

"You know, Carmine, I must admit I find myself mildly surprised you and Kieran are both wearing jinbei rather than more elaborate costumes," ANNA commented. "Given how much you admire Lady Iron Fan, I had half expected you to dress as her, and Kieran as Ogress."

Carmine huffed. "While a part of me will always love Lady Iron Fan, I refuse to do anything to imply that I support that cultural thief and will instead dress in the proper manner to celebrate this great holiday, even if so many outsiders choose to tarnish it in their ridiculous Halloween outfits."

"Her costume shrunk in the wash, and she threw such a huge fit grandma and grandpa said I had to wear the traditional dress too," Kieran grumbled.

"Shut up, Kiki!"

"Ah, that explains it."

They reached the top of the stairs and immediately found themselves utterly overwhelmed.

They'd thought the town was packed. It had nothing on Kitakami Hall. What had to be the entire human population of Kitakami seemed to fill the temple grounds, and while it wasn't particularly high normally, if you factored in all the visitors, it was amazing there was still enough room for people to move freely without being squashed together like Wishiwashi in a can. There were plenty of booths and stalls selling food or advertising games, but there were so many people present in a variety of costumes it was nearly impossible to see what they were through the press of bodies.

"…Um. Wow," Hohma said after a moment.

"I really dropped the ball for this trip," Briar murmured, stunned.

"Disgusting. This is supposed to be a festival commemorating the valiant sacrifice of three brave heroes to defeat a wicked ogre," Carmine snarled. "And now it's been turned into a glorified con to pander to the ego of a hack writer. I doubt even a quarter of these people realize what they've intruded on, and I bet even less care."

"That seems a little… Harsh," Briar said helplessly.

"I'm not the only one who thinks that way!" Carmine declared, pointing at an overweight man in a brown jinbei wearing an Eevee mask angrily shaking a broom at the tourists.

"Disgusting! This is supposed to be a festival commemorating the valiant sacrifice of three brave heroes to defeat a wicked ogre!" he shouted. "And now it's been turned into a glorified con to pander to the ego of a hack writer! I doubt even a quarter of you people realize what you've intruded on, and I bet even less care!"

"Wow, nice performance!" Someone dressed as Usaga Yojimbo said, throwing some money at the man's feet. "You're really in character! But, uh, I don't recognize the character. Who are you supposed to be?"

"A man outraged at seeing the traditions he holds dear besmirched!" The fat man shouted, angrily attacking the startled tourist with his broom. Several of the other attendees, assuming this was part of the show, laughed, took pictures, and threw more money.

"You see?" Carmine asked triumphantly.

"I don't really think Goroge is the kind of person you should emulate," Kieran pointed out.

"At least he's willing to stand up for our way of life!" Carmine retorted.

"He is pocketing all the money they are throwing at him," ANNA pointed out.

"… Yeah, well, if they're just giving it away…" Carmine mumbled, looking embarrassed.

Briar shook her head, overwhelmed. "I… Don't even know where to begin in all this…"

"Well, normally there would be a fried noodles stand, a candy fruit stand, an ice cream stand, a shaved ice stand…" Kieran began.

Julie licked her lips. "Yum!"

"And Ogre Oustin'! I have the highest score," Carmine bragged.

"But… I'm not even sure any of them are up considering all the other stuff here," Kieran admitted. "And even if they were, how would we even tell? I'm not even sure half these people know what they're in line for."

"Julie can smell food," Julie pointed out.

"Oh right, you can! You're just so amazing, you know that?" Kieran gushed.

"Yes, yes, Julie is complete package, this nyothing nyew," Julie said humbly.

"Hey, weren't we going to check out the actual hall and take a look at those masks?" Hohma recalled.

"Ah! A splendid idea!" Briar agreed. "It's surely open now!"

"And there'll probably be fewer people in there since most of the folks here aren't really interested or are just unaware of the actual Festival and are only here for O-PEN and her big announcement," Ohara pointed out. She looked embarrassed. "… And if it weren't for this trip, I'd probably be one of them."

"You should be ashamed of yourself," Carmine said coldly.

"Carmine, there's no need for you to be like that," Briar scolded her student. "Alright everyone, let's head for the shrine. And stick together, it'll be far too easy for us to get lost with all these people. Especially you, Aliquis."

Aliquis did not respond.

"All right then, let's-"

"YOUR ATTENTION PLEASE," a loud voice boomed from several speakers set up all over the temple grounds, along with several floodlights which Carmine complained were totally unnecessary, they had plenty of stone and paper lanterns which worked perfectly well. "O-PEN WILL BE SIGNING AUTOGRAPHS NEAR THE BIG STAGE FOR THE NEXT HOUR. I REPEAT, O-PEN WILL BE SIGNING AUTOGRAPHS NEAR THE BIG STAGE FOR THE NEXT HOUR. ANYONE WHO WISHES TO GET AN AUTOGRAPH SHOULD PROCEED THERE IN A CALM AND ORDERLY FASHION."

There was a long silence as everyone in attendance processed this.

And then, screaming and shouting, just about everyone immediately rushed for the stairs, pushing and shoving and trampling over each other as they desperately tried to get to the front of the mob and be among the first to receive an autograph from their idol.

"Everyone!" Briar shouted in a panic as people rushed by, pushing and bumping into them. "Stick together! Wait, Kieran, Ohara, Julie, what do you think you're doing?!"

The trio, who had been about to join the throng, hesitated guiltily. "… Getting autographs?" Kieran said after a moment.

"Kiki! We're going to the shrine, there's no time for this-" Carmine huffed.

"So are you saying you don't want a chance to tell O-PEN to her face what you think about what she did to Lady Iron Fan?" Kieran needled her.

Carmine hesitated, a conflicted look on her face.

"Julie. We may need your nose inside the shrine," ANNA pointed out.

"But… Sister! May be only chance to get autographs!" Julie protested.

ANNA paused, a pained look on her face. "I… Am aware of that. I very much wish to get an autograph as well. But I believe solving this mystery might take priority. While everyone is distracted trying to get an autograph, we have a clear shot at the shrine, whereas if we wait until after the announcement, I intuit it will be far too chaotic as everyone processes whatever world-upending news O-PEN plans to reveal, ourselves included. We can try and get autographs later."

"But may nyot be time later! So many people!" Julie pointed out. "By time we done, may be too late to get autograph before big announcement!"

ANNA grimaced. "… That is… A fair point. Perhaps… Well… It is not as if we will not have a chance to examine the masks tomorrow-"

"No, we can't wait! O-PEN might have left by then, and any evidence of what she was doing there all day will be long gone!" Carmine protested.

"… I hate to say, but she may have a point," Hohma grudgingly agreed.

"Hey!"

"It… WOULD be harder to pick up a trail the longer we wait," ANNA admitted unhappily. Julie grimaced, realizing her sister was right but hesitant to admit it.

"ANNA, Mewstress, leave it to me!" Ohara volunteered. "I'm not really that interested in whatever's going on with the masks. If I get in line now, I should be able to get autographs for not just myself but you two as well before O-PEN's announcement! And I can watch Kieran to make sure he doesn't get himself in trouble!"

"I don't need a babysitter!" Kieran protested.

"Yes, you do, Kiki, don't argue," Carmine scolded him, causing him to turn red.

"Nyou do that?" Julie asked hopefully.

"Of course I would, Mewstress! I love you!" Ohara told her.

"Julie love nyou too!" Julie cried, bursting into tears and hugging her.

"Platonic female friendship sure is nice, isn't it?" Kieran asked.

Everyone stared at him.

"… How long until we tell Julie that he's into her or Kieran that she's a lesbian?" Hohma murmured to ANNA.

"Not yet, I want to see how long this goes on for," ANNA whispered back.

"For science?"

"And my own amusement."

Hohma nodded in understanding.

"Would that be all right, Miss Briar?" Ohara pleaded.

"Well… At least the two of you will be together," Briar relented with a sigh. "But I want you both to keep your Rotom Phones on and ready and the volume or vibration strong enough you should be able to know if any of us are trying to contact you despite all the noise. Do I make myself clear?"

"Yes, Miss Briar!" Kieran and Ohara chimed, before hurrying to join the swiftly growing line.

"You know, I wasn't expecting those two to be the first to split from us," Carmine commented.

"Yeah, I figured we'd lose Aliquis again first," Hohma agreed.

Briar gasped, wildly looking around. "Wait! Aliquis… He's gone! Where did he – oh, never mind, there he is, I was looking in the wrong place," she suddenly realized.

Aliquis said nothing.

---

They were able to reach the main shrine without much difficulty, since pretty much everyone was now in line to get autographs from O-PEN. Julie had whimpered slightly as they passed by the table where, presumably, the author was seated – they couldn't really see, given how many people were in the way – and even ANNA couldn't help glancing forlornly at it as they went by. Briar felt a pang of guilt, but what was done was done, all they could do was keep moving forward.

As predicted, there weren't many people in the shrine. Most of them were locals, though a few tourists were there as well, clearly confused because they seemed to have assumed this would be some sort of Museum of The Ogre's Tale memorabilia and were disappointed to find that was not the case.

They had also either not noticed or completely ignored the sign by the entrance asking them to take off their shoes before entering. Briar's class did and obeyed it.

Well, all but one.

"ANNA, why haven't you taken off your shoes?" Briar asked the girl from the future.

"I am not wearing shoes. These are what my feet look like," ANNA replied.

"Oh," Briar said.

There was a pause.

"So… Does that mean she should stay here, or…?" Hohma asked.

"No, I was prepared for something like this," ANNA said, activating the repulsor lifts in the bottoms of her feet and levitating herself a few milliliters into the air. "There. Now I am not touching the ground with my feet."

Briar shrugged. "Well, I guess that'll do."

Carmine frowned and stood up on her tiptoes, frustrated that ANNA was now even taller than her.

The shrine was small and relatively plain, with tatami mats for the floor, a few display cases scattered about containing rather old artifacts like broken weapons or pieces of pottery and statuettes, and some faded paintings or old banners hanging on the wall, a few of which had very old bloodstains on them.

"That one was the standard of one of the Lords who tried to crown himself king back during the big Civil War a few centuries back," Carmine said, noticing everyone's lingering glances at an especially blood-soaked banner that they'd mistaken for naturally red at first glance.

"Did he win?" Hohma asked.

"Nobody did," Carmine said grimly. "All the would-be kings died. Their armies wiped each other out, and all their great cities burned to the ground. Mossui Town was the only village spared in the conflict, because we were so small and insignificant nobody remembered we existed, much like it is now." She made a face. "I suppose I should be grateful for that."

"War never changes," ANNA commented sadly.

"That why we nyot do it anymore," Julie agreed.

"I thought you said your time was peaceful," Hohma pointed out. "Well. Relatively speaking."

"It is nyow. All tribes and Pokémon get along mostly. Nyot always the case," Julie said grimly. "Alpha was aberration, but nyot first, and nyot last."

"'…Nyot – I mean not first, and not last,'" Briar murmured, writing this down.

The only real things of interest in the shrine were the three masks prominently displayed on the back wall, each held by a gilded statue of one of the Loyal Three, surrounded by votive candles, incense, and offerings from the villagers. The first mask, held by the dog statue, was gray and had a joyful expression with a craggy profile, a prominent mouth with three crystal teeth between two large black blunt tipped fangs, crystal eyes, a small flat nose, and a bright blue upward pointing mustache.

The second mask, held by the monkey statue, was predominantly blue-and-white and sporting a somber expression, framed by blue hair that formed a heart shape with a streak of later blue hair on each side, the face white with circular, light blue eyebrows, simple black lines for closed mouth and eyes, and two tears made of crystal.

Finally, the third mask, held by the pheasant, was mainly red and orange and sporting an angry expression, its shape and profile flamelike, with a protruding brow of swirling flames in a bright orange mane bordering most of the mask, the mouth and nose bright blue, with two sharply pointed fangs jutting from its lower jaw and a four-pointed crystal star on the forehead and crystal eyes.

"Behold, the three legendary masks of the ogre!" Carmine declared, gesturing at the masks. "The source of the wicked beast's elemental powers, wrenched away from it at great cost by the greatest heroes our region has ever seen! The Cornerstone Mask, capable of breaking the hardest stone in two! The Wellspring Mask, which could stop the flow of a river! And finally, the Hearthflame Mask, which could rouse a candle's flame into a raging inferno!" She turned to ANNA and Julie. "So, what do your fancy scientific instruments and bestial instincts and magic tell you about them? Are they as powerful as legends say? Are they more powerful?"

"They are fake," ANNA told her.

"Totally fake," Julie agreed.

"WHAT?!" Carmine shrieked, causing the few other people in the room to give her startled and annoyed looks.

"Carmine, use your inside voice," Briar chided her student. "Also, what?!"

"There's no way they're fakes! You have no idea what you're talking about!" Carmine hissed angrily.

"I rather believe we do," ANNA replied. "Analyses indicate that those masks are made of materials not native to Kitakami."

"Then… They're forgeries?" Hohma gasped.

"Very good ones," ANNA confirmed. "Much better than Carmine's Sinistea's stamp of authenticity, in fact."

"No… No way! I don't believe it!" Carmine protested.

"I'm sorry, but whoever your Sinistea got to fake that stamp wasn't very good-"

"No, not that, the other part!" Carmine snapped.

"Oh… That's right, the caretaker mentioned something like this," Briar realized. "He said that all the really valuable treasures had been either stolen or sold off a long time ago. That must mean either someone took the masks a long time ago and left counterfeits behind, or someone from your village sold them, Carmine."

"Never! Nobody in Mossui would do something like that!" Carmine protested.

"Carmine, you repeatedly told us that your country is very poor," Hohma pointed out.

"Not that poor!" She protested. "We have our pride!"

"We just saw a fat man dance for tourism money a few minutes ago."

Carmine turned red and spluttered, having no argument for that.

"That is a plausible theory, Ms. Briar, especially since similar things have happened all over the world for countless millennia… Except for one small fact," ANNA spoke up.

Julie nodded." Masks don't smell that old. Only made a few days or even weeks ago."

"Then… The theft was more recent?" Briar asked, startled.

"I KNEW IT!" Carmine shouted, again drawing irritated looks from everyone in the room.

"Carmine, inside voice-"

"It was O-PEN! I was right all along!" Carmine said feverishly. "Remember? The caretaker said that she reserved the shrine for practically an entire afternoon and declared the whole mountain, especially the Dreaded Den, off-limits! And everyone knows her Gardevoir is really powerful, she could easily have used her Psychic powers to swap out the masks and leave the real ones in the cave, and since neither of them were seen leaving the building, it would be a perfect alibi! Just like I said earlier!"

"Carmine, we have no evidence of that," Briar insisted, then paused and looked at the twins. "Julie?"

"There are no fingerprints or other identifying marks on the masks," ANNA reported. "There are, however, traces of psychic residue, too small to be detected by the instruments of this era, but perfectly visible to mine."

"Aha!" Carmine declared.

"Wait, that still doesn't mean she did it," Hohma pointed out. "Julie, do you smell O-PEN or her Gardevoir anywhere in here?"

"Julie has nyo idea what O-PENN smell like because someone decided we should go straight here instead of getting autograph," Julie snarled, glaring at ANNA. "But Julie nyo smell Gardevoir either. Lots of cleaning supplies. Place cleaned recently; nyo people or Pokémon scents going back more than couple hours."

"Incidentally, I detect more psychic residue all over the room," ANNA added.

"And there you have it! O-PEN stole the masks and her Gardevoir used her powers to clean up all the evidence!" Carmine said giddily. "I knew it, I knew she was evil all along, none of you believed me, but I told you, didn't I?! Come on, let's go confront her and unmask her before all her adoring fans and show her what sort of monster she really is! And I mean that both metaphorically and literally, I want to see what she looks like under the mask."

"There are two reasons we are not doing that," ANNA said, grabbing her shoulder before she could run for the exit.

"Let go of me!" Carmine snapped, trying to break free from ANNA' grip. She failed. "Wow, you're really strong."

"Yes, I know."

"Two reasons? I can think of one, but what's the other?" Hohma asked.

"Wait, what's the first one?" Carmine demanded.

"Carmine, if you just up and accuse one of the world's most popular mangaka of theft in front of her fans with no evidence whatsoever, what do you think will happen?" Briar asked.

"… Everyone will turn on her and Kiki will have to admit I was right all along?" Carmine asked hesitantly.

"Nyo, nyou look like crazy person," Julie said flatly.

"Also, her security detail will never let you get that far," Hohma added.

"Oh."

"As for the other reason… We do not yet have evidence that O-PEN was responsible," ANNA pointed out.

"What?! But she was here all afternoon, and you said a Psychic-type was involved, and she has one!" Carmine protested.

"Yes, and so do lots of other people," ANNA pointed out. "And while the simplest answer would be that it was her, that is not necessarily the correct one. For one thing, what is her motive?"

"Huh?"

"What would she get out of stealing the masks?" ANNA pointed out. "She is already very wealthy, so she would not need to sell them off."

"Maybe she wants them for her collection? Lots of rich people do that kind of thing," Hohma pointed out.

"Perhaps, but do we have any to reason to believe that O-PEN is one such individual?" ANNA retorted.

"Oh please, you're just making excuses because you're super biased towards her!" Carmine scoffed.

"And you're not?" Hohma muttered.

Carmine ignored him. "She probably did it because she hates Kitakami and wants to spite us and our traditions!"

"Then why did she leave counterfeits?"

"Huh?"

"If she were truly as spiteful as you are convinced she is, then why would she bother making it look like the masks had never been stolen at all?" ANNA argued. "Would it not cause far more chaos if the masks were found to have gone missing? Or, even worse, been destroyed or defaced somehow, for everyone to see?"

"Well that's because… Um… Give me a minute, it'll come to me…" Carmine mumbled, growing red with frustration and embarrassment.

"While I am not disputing that it might have been her, we do not yet have enough evidence to label her as the culprit, especially when there is already a far more likely suspect available to us," ANNA continued.

"Really? Who?" Briar asked.

"Caretaker," Julie said.

"What?! That's preposterous!" Carmine shouted angrily. "Typical outsider! You're just trying to turn him into a scapegoat because you don't want to admit that someone as big and successful as O-PEN could possibly do something so cruel because you're obsessed with her stupid story! No, let's blame the small towner, he's far more likely to-"

"Carmine, be quiet," a very frustrated Briar snapped. "Julie, ANNA, explain."

"First of all, how do we actually know O-PEN and her Gardevoir were even here?" ANNA asked.

"Of course they were, the caretaker said so!" Carmine protested.

"Exactly. The caretaker said. Can anyone else corroborate that?" ANNA asked. She gestured around the shrine. "After all, there is no security system here. No cameras. Unless someone else can back up his claims, we have no proof that he was telling the truth, unless we ask O-PEN herself."

"You're just trying to-"

"Carmine," Briar snapped.

"Why… Why are you always taking their side?!" Carmine demanded furiously.

"Second, how do we know that O-PEN actually closed off the entire mountain, including and especially the Dreaded Dan?" ANNA continued.

"Well, because-" Hohma stiffened. "Because… The caretaker said that."

"And, again, unless we ask O-PEN herself, we have no way to prove that," ANNA pointed out.

"Stop trying to throw him under the bus! How would he even do something like that anyway?!" Carmine demanded.

Briar snapped her fingers. "Wait… He said earlier he has a Psychic-type. One powerful enough to not only be able to Teleport him wherever he's needed, but to know when he's needed!"

"And as caretaker, he would of course have access to the cleaning supplies needed to clean up the crime scene afterwards," ANNA added.

"But why would he do something like this?!" Carmine protested.

"He have something O-PEN don't," Julie said. "Motive."

"What motive?!"

"Money," ANNA said bluntly. "The legendary ogre masks would probably sell at a very high price and look good in someone's collection, as you yourself just said, Carmine."

"Don't be ridiculous, he's not motivated by money!" Carmine insisted.

"Carmine, he literally complained about how he's not getting paid enough just a few hours ago," Hohma reminded her.

"Th-that's… Well…w-what about his pride in his job, huh?" Carmine stammered.

"Pride nyot pay bills or put food on table," Julie pointed out.

"But… But the masks! You said they weren't made from materials local to Kitakami!" Carmine protested, a little desperately. "If it were really him, why would he rely on an outsider to make them?"

"These fake masks are very well-made," ANNA said. "Carmine, how many people in Mossui are skilled enough to make masks of this caliber?"

"… My grandfather. He's the only one in Kitakami is capable," Carmine admitted. "But… He would never use ingredients from outside this region. And if anyone asked him to make replicas of the legendary masks, he… Would want to know why."

"Well, sounds like an answer to me," Hohma said.

"But… But it can't be the caretaker!" Carmine protested, no longer sounding so sure herself. "He's a respected member of the community, he's done this job for years, why…"

"Well, I believe we should find out," ANNA said. "It is possible I am incorrect. That neither O-PEN nor the caretaker are responsible. There is only one way to be sure, though. Julie?"

"Nyah?"

"Is the caretaker present at the festival?"

Julie nodded. "Nyep, smelled him earlier."

"Go fetch him, please." As Julie eagerly rushed out of the shrine, she took out her phone. "And as for O-PEN… It would be impossible for us to get close enough to interrogate her in public. Fortunately, we already have someone in an ideal position to set things in motion…"

---

"… And that's why I think you should make my doujin canon!" Kieran babbled eagerly, stars in his eyes as O-PEN signed a rather risqué portrait of someone resembling himself but much buffer and handsome her in a passionate embrace with Ogress. The Gardevoir at her side gave him a bored, long-suffering look.

"I'm sorry, but my mistress is not allowed to accept unsolicited material," she said bluntly, as she had at least a dozen times by now.

"But, but surely she can make an exception for me, my character is super cool and really developed and totally not a self insert-" Kieran protested.

"I'm sorry, you're holding up the line, please take this autograph and go, preferably far away from here," the Gardevoir said, telekinetically ripping the autograph from her mistress's hands just as she removed pen from paper and thrust it against his chest. "Goodbye forever."

"But-"

Gardevoir's eyes flashed, and Kieran was teleported away. "There's another restraining order in the making… Next!"

Even with her anxiety cured, Ohara found herself trembling and struggling to pass out from excitement as she approached the table. O-PEN was right there, and, as always, dressed like the character that had made her famous. Her green torso was spotted with white flowers and yellow dots, her long legs were black in the front and white in the back, and her two-toed feet had green leaves spreading from between the toes. Her torso was mostly covered by a large, green multicolored cloak extending from a stem on top of her head, so big that her arms were completely hidden beneath its sleeves. She wore a teal and green mask with a mischievous expression, a tan mouth with two extensions beneath it resembling pincers, three leaves on either side of the mouth, five teal leaves forming a crown, and several crystals forming the eyes, the veins of the leaves, and a large four-pointed crystal set in the central leaf as a crown jewel.

It was as if Ogress had stepped right off the page and was standing before her.

The Gardevoir was pretty intimidating as well. It was well known that due to their Fairy blood, Gardevoir grew more powerful and beautiful with age… And this one was very beautiful, though the welcoming expression she gave her, and the light touch she felt on her mind helped to calm her down made her seem even lovelier. "Hello, young one," she said gently, the opposite of how she'd behaved towards Kieran. "A fan of Zoraya, I see?"

It took her a moment to realize what she was talking about. "Huh? Oh, right, the costume! Y-yeah, she was one of my favorite characters. Her quest for identity and trying to figure out her place in the world, whether she was human or Pokémon or something else entirely… That, um, I found that really inspiring, and it helped me figure out a few things about who I wanted to be when I was younger and confused about… A lot of things."

"My mistress is pleased to hear this. Although she notes your cat ears don't quite go along with the rest the costume," the Gardevoir observed.

"Oh, yeah, that's, that's a more recent thing," Ohara admitted. "Anyway, Mrs. O-PEN, could you please make out the autograph to Ohara? And I promised my Mewstress and her sister I would try and get them autographs too-"

"Ms. Ohara, you do realize it's only one per person?" The Gardevoir asked, nodding at a sign that did indeed state that.

Ohara gasped, horrified. "Oh no, I didn't realize! Ohhh, they're going to be so disappointed! Especially Mewstress, and I can't let her down, especially not after everything she's done for me!"

"You truly care for her, don't you?" Gardevoir murmured, expression softening.

"Yes! I mean, I haven't known her for long, but she's already done so much for me and I want to be with her always and I just want to do anything I can to show her how much I appreciate her!" Ohara said despondently, struggling not to cry.

Gardevoir and O-PEN exchanged silent glances. "That… Is something my mistress and myself both understand all too well. Which is why you will indeed get autographs for both of them."

Ohara gasped, eyes shimmering. "Really?!"

"Really."

"Hey wait, you can't do that-" the person right behind Ohara protested.

"Back of the line."

He was teleported away. Nobody else protested after that.

"Right, so their names are-" Ohara started.

"ANNA and Julie," Gardevoir interrupted her.

Ohara gasped. "How did you – oh right, psychic."

Gardevoir chuckled. "You'd be surprised how many people seem to forget that part."

"Aren't you supposed to respect the privacy of other people's minds and only read them with permission or in an emergency?" Ohara wondered.

"Probably," Gardevoir said, making it clear that not only did she disagree with that notion, she had no intention of changing her ways.

O-PEN's shoulders heaved, probably in amusement, as she began signing three pictures of Ogress based off her very first appearance in the manga.

Abruptly, Ohara's Rotom phone floated out of her pocket and started shouting "YOU HAVE A NEW MESSAGE! YOU HAVE A NEW MESSAGE! YOU HAVE A NEW MESSAGE!" At maximum volume, causing everyone to flinch.

Ohara laughed nervously and quickly grabbed the phone and unlocked it as Gardevoir and the people behind her gave her angry looks. "Sorry about that, I promised my teacher I would leave it loud in case they needed to reach me…"

There was a new text from ANNA. "Masks fake."

She frowned, momentarily confused before realizing what she was trying to say. The masks in the shrine were fake? Well, that was certainly concerning, though she didn't understand why she was texting her about this instead of telling her later.

As she puzzled this over, she completely missed Gardevoir stiffening and O-PEN accidentally driving her pen through the picture she'd been signing, cracking the table. Author and Pokémon quickly exchanged looks, and then Gardevoir cleared her mental throat and shouted, "Everyone, I'm very sorry, but an emergency has arisen, and autograph signing is done for the evening."

Ohara glanced up in surprise as Gardevoir placed a "Closed" sign on the table and everyone behind her started protesting very loudly and profusely. "Don't worry, there should still be time to get your autographs after the announcement… Assuming it's still on, given the nature of the emergency… You, come with us."

"Me? But why-" Ohara stammered.

"Now."

There was a flash of light, and suddenly they had teleported inside the shrine. "… We weren't that far away, we could've just walked," Ohara muttered, a little rattled by the sudden transport.

"Everyone out. Now," Gardevoir ordered, immediately teleporting everyone except for Briar's group out of the shrine and erecting a force field over the door. "You. What do you think you know?" She demanded, pointing at ANNA.

"That these masks are fake, and you are the primary suspect," the techno-organic girl replied.

Ohara's jaw dropped in disbelief. What? There's no way she heard that right! There was no way she was actually accusing the world's greatest author of something like that!

"I see," Gardevoir said, eyes begin to glow.

"Whatever you think you're about to do, I would not recommend it," ANNA advised her, Briar, Hohma, and Carmine tensing behind her. (Aliquis looked tense as well, but he always did.) "My positronic mind cannot be mindwiped so easily, so there is little chance of me forgetting anything that happens in the next few seconds. In addition, I am recording our entire encounter, and if you do anything to myself or my friends, it will be uploaded to every media site on the planet instantly."

Gardevoir hesitated and glanced at O-PEN. "… Very well," she said grudgingly, eyes returning to normal. "What do you want?"

"The truth," ANNA said.

"As for you to print an apology for what you did to Lady Iron Fan and have her redeem herself in a future volume!" Carmine demanded.

Gardevoir groaned. "Oh Origin, you're ironstan215 aren't you?"

"Yes, and no matter how many of my social media accounts you ban, I will not be silenced!" Carmine shouted.

"Carmine, be quiet," an aggrieved Briar told her.

"Yes Miss Briar."

"We can give you the truth, but not the other thing," Gardevoir conceded.

"Nonnegotiable!" Carmine rejected her.

"Very well," ANNA agreed.

"Hey!"

"All right… Yes, we took the masks," Gardevoir admitted.

"I knew it!" Carmine shouted triumphantly.

Ohara gasped, horrified. She shot O-PEN a look of betrayal, the author shifting uncomfortably. "Wh-what?! But… But why?!"

"That is the question, isn't it," ANNA murmured, and if she too was devastated by this admission, she didn't show it.

"We were only reclaiming stolen property," Gardevoir said defensively. "Those masks were taken from my mistress a very long time ago and belong to her by right. We were only taking back what's hers."

Carmine scoffed. "Ha! Like anyone would believe something as preposterous is that! The masks belonged to the ogre hundreds of years ago, even if it did steal them, there's no way O-PEN could have been alive back then!"

"It… May not be that Farfetch'd, actually," Briar admitted.

"Bwah?!"

ANNA nodded. "Indeed. There have been many accounts of humans managing to prolong their lifespans drastically through several means. AZ, for instance, gained immortality due to exposure to the power of the Ultimate Weapon, and Queen Serena of Kalos and many of her court have replicated that feat."

"There have also been instances where people from one era make it to another in a more unconventional method, either through time travel – like ANNA and her sister – or other means, such as being put in hibernation or some form of stasis and waking up decades or even centuries later," Briar added.

"Not to mention there are tons of Pokémon who can treat the laws of physics or mortality as more like guidelines," Hohma pointed out.

"Can… You tell if any of that is the case with O-PEN?" Ohara asked ANNA, head still spinning.

"I… Cannot," ANNA admitted, looking somewhat frustrated. "I am receiving too much interference from Gardevoir's power, and from that mask… Fascinating. There are no fewer than nine Tera crystals in it."

"I take my mistress's security, identity, and well-being very seriously," Gardevoir said seriously. "No one shall ever know the truth of what lies beneath her mask save by her leave."

"Then how are we to believe you when you claim that the masks you took belong to O-PEN, so should remain in her possession?" Briar asked.

"Yeah! What she said!" Carmine said belligerently.

Gardevoir sighed. "It is a long and tragic story, one which my mistress does not wish to have to tell twice."

"Tell…" Ohara gasped. "Wait. The big announcement…!"

Gardevoir nodded. "Precisely. Before this night is over, my mistress intends to reveal everything. Who she really is. The secret of The Ogre's Tale. And the truth behind the lie this village has been perpetuating for hundreds of years about the ogre you call monster and the fiends you call heroes."

"The lie – hang on! Are you trying to say we got the legend wrong?!" Carmine cried, indignant. "That's ridiculous! You're slandering the epic story of the greatest heroes our region has ever seen!"

And she stiffened, feeling as if she were in the presence of death, and even though O-PEN hadn't moved, she was staring right at her… And was livid.

"Foolish child, you have no idea what you're talking about," Gardevoir said coldly. "But you will, shortly. All of you will."

"… History is written by the winners," Briar murmured to herself. "Also, please don't threaten my students."

"…My apologies," Gardevoir relented, and Carmine suddenly felt like she could breathe again.

"Wait… I don't get it. If you're going to drop this huge truth bomb on everyone, then why steal the masks?" The confused Hohma asked.

Gardevoir grimaced. "My mistress insists on believing that, once the truth is known, the villagers will be more than happy to give her masks back to her. I… Do not have the luxury of that optimism. Stealing the masks was my idea. Just as a precaution. In case it all goes wrong. I will take responsibility."

"Do you intend to return the masks?" Briar asked.

"No," Gardevoir said bluntly. "But I will accept any punishment for my actions… So long as it is after my mistress's announcement. I am, as always, her interpreter, and cannot leave her side at this, one of the most important moments in her life."

"No way! We can't just let her get away with that!" Carmine protested. "And how do we know she isn't just going to take off the minute the announcement is done, anyway?"

"She will not," ANNA said with absolute certainty. "Is that not right, Gardevoir?"

"It is," Gardevoir confirmed.

"And you just believe her?" Carmine demanded.

"I do," ANNA replied.

"Of course you do. Am I the only one here who's not insane right now?" Carmine complained.

"You think you're sane?" Hohma snarked.

O-PEN glanced at Gardevoir, who rolled her eyes. "If we promise to also tell you why Lady Iron Fan's arc turned out the way it did, will that satisfy you?"

"Yes," Carmine agreed immediately.

"Good. Now if that is everything-" Gardevoir started, only for O-PEN to step forward and hold out three signed pieces of art. "What? Oh, of course. The autographs."

Ohara gasped. "Wait… You… You're still giving us those?"

"But of course. You're still fans of my mistress's story. That is far more important than the fact that you caught us in the act of a criminal undertaking," Gardevoir assured her as O-PEN distributed the autographs.

Ohara stared at her autograph. It read, "Ohara - Zoraya was one of my favorites, too! I'm glad she managed to find a happy ending, and that you were able to find happiness too. Thanks for reading! O-PEN."

She sniffled and clutched the picture to her chest, cursing herself for ever losing faith in O-PEN, even for a second.

ANNA examined the autographs she'd been given for her sister and herself and nodded. "Yes, Julie will be most appreciative of this. Thank you. However, I do not believe our business is settled just yet."

Gardevoir frowned. "What else is there? We've already promised you will hear the whole truth shortly, and I will accept punishment for my actions if the authorities deem it necessary."

"Why wouldn't they?" Carmine asked indignantly. "Especially since you refuse to return the masks!"

"She's gorgeous, and her trainer is loaded and famous," Hohma pointed out.

"… Oh. Right."

"I would like to see the masks you took," ANNA said.

"What? I just told you I'm not returning them, they belong to-" Gardevoir protested.

"I am not asking you to return them, I am asking to see them," ANNA emphasized. "Consider how easy it was for you to steal the masks. How certain are you that the ones you stole were, in fact, the genuine article, and somebody else hadn't stolen them already?"

Gardevoir froze. She and O-PEN exchanged alarmed looks. "That… Had not occurred to us. You can confirm their authenticity?"

"I can."

"Very well." Gardevoir extended a hand, and in a flash of light, three masks appeared above it, held in her telekinetic grasp. "Here-"

"Go, Sinistcha!" Carmine shouted, sending out a Pokémon whose main body was entirely green, except for its mouth and swirly eyes, which were yellow in color. Its arms were thin and its hands had three digits, and it had two small legs. It inhabited a black and white chawan with a few cracks sealed with green all over it, and a swirling, face-like pattern on its side. Atop its head, Sinistcha wore a chasen which was broken and missing a few of its teeth. "All right, everyone, let's… Get…" She hesitated, seeing everyone was giving her bewildered looks and she was the only one who had sent out a Pokémon. "… Her?"

"Carmine, what do you think you're doing?" A confused Briar asked.

"… Taking advantage of ANNA tricking Gardevoir into bringing out the real masks to defeat her and take them back?" Carmine asked uncertainly. "Was, wasn't that what we were supposed to be doing?"

"No," ANNA said.

"Oh." Embarrassed, Carmine called back her disappointed Pokémon.

"Congratulations on evolving it, by the way-"

"I don't want to hear it from you!"

"Would you like to hear it from me?" Briar asked.

"Yes, actually," Carmine admitted, blushing.

"Well, if you've had a good enough look-" Gardevoir began, about to send the masks away again.

"Those masks are fake."

"WHAT?!" Everyone cried in disbelief.

"Ooh, what a twist!" Hohma said enthusiastically, filming all of this on his phone.

"What do you mean they're fake?!" Gardevoir demanded. "My mistress is more familiar with those masks than anyone in the world, surely she would've noticed-"

"When is the last time she saw them?" Briar asked.

"A… A very long time ago," Gardevoir admitted reluctantly. "But-"

"They were made using materials not from Kitakami," ANNA explained. "In fact, those the same materials used to make your counterfeit masks. And…" Her eyes flashed as she scanned the masks again. "Further examination of them indicates that not only are they roughly the same age as your masks… They are almost identical. So much so I believe they must have been made by the same person. Who did you get your fake masks from?"

"We… We commissioned a certain member of the Ogrehead community renowned for their skills and craftsmanship. So much so, in fact, their works have often been mistaken for props or costumes for official productions," Gardevoir admitted, clearly shaken.

Ohara gasped. "You mean… The Golden Cudgel?!"

Gardevoir nodded. "The very same."

"Whoa, even I know who that is, and I barely knew anything about The Ogre's Tale before yesterday!" Hohma exclaimed.

"I looked at their website during my research last night, it's quite good," Briar agreed.

"I see. Considering their skill, it is no surprise that you were not the only ones to seek them out to make mask replicas," ANNA intuited.

"But… How are we supposed to find out who the other person was?!" Carmine demanded. "And what they did with the real masks?"

"Well, I could hack into the Cudgel's account, determine who paid them to make the masks, and follow the transaction back to the point of origin to determine their IP address and who they are in real life…" ANNA began.

There was a thud from the door. "Hey! Who put force field in way?!" Julie demanded from outside.

"Or we could let my sister in, who has apprehended the other primary suspect," ANNA finished.

O-PEN glanced at Gardevoir, who nodded and lowered the force field to allow Julie, dragging a bound and gagged caretaker in…

Along with Kieran. "O-PEN! There you are!" he said excitedly, rushing in right after Julie, only moments before the door was sealed again. "Your Gardevoir Teleported me away for some reason right when I was in the middle of telling you about my character and why he'd be a great love interest for Ogress!"

"…May I Teleport him away again?" Gardevoir asked the others desperately.

"No," said Briar.

"Though I can understand the temptation," Carmine admitted, before glaring at Julie. "Julie! What have you done?!"

"Captured bad man who stole masks and framed O-PEN!" Julie replied.

"She wasn't framed, they really DID steal the masks!" Carmine asserted.

Julie and Kieran gasped. "Whaaaa?!"

"Well, actually, they stole fake masks, the real ones were already stolen," Hohma corrected Carmine.

"And they belonged to my mistress first," Gardevoir added quickly.

"Oh, that okay then," Julie said, immediately calming down.

"It is?!" a shocked Kieran demanded.

"No it's not!" Carmine snapped. "And let that poor man go, there's no need to treat him like a criminal!"

"But if he did steal the masks, doesn't that make him, by definition, a criminal?" Ohara pointed out as a sulking Julie undid the caretaker's gag.

"He didn't steal them!" Carmine insisted.

"That's right, I didn't!" The caretaker said indignantly.

"Yes. He. Did," Gardevoir snarled, voice so cold she might as well have been an Ice-type.

O-PEN did not teleport. She did, however, move so fast it seemed like she teleported, the shockwave blowing everyone back, shattering all the display cases, and slamming the caretaker into the wall as she stopped only inches away from his face, the eyes and other crystals of her mask beginning to glow ominously. He screamed in terror.

"How… How did she…" Briar stammered as she struggled to pick herself off the ground, dumbstruck.

"No! Stop! What are you doing?!" Carmine yelled. "He's an innocent-"

"I did! It was me! I took the masks!" The terrified caretaker shrieked.

Carmine froze. "W-what? Mr. caretaker, there's no need to lie because you're afraid, we can protect you-"

"Can we?" A shaken Hohma asked, pushing Aliquis off him.

"It's not a lie! I did it! I stole the masks earlier today and replaced them with incredibly good fakes I commissioned from some craftsperson online called the Golden Cudgel!" The caretaker stammered, crying from fright.

Carmine stared. "What?"

"That confirms his guilt, he only just got here so would not have known about the involvement of the Golden Cudgel in producing the other masks," ANNA concluded.

"But… No, this… This makes no sense… Why… How could you steal the masks?" A confused Carmine pleaded, shaking. "You've… You've been taking care of them for so many years! You're a valued and respected member of the community! You-"

"Carmine. What's my name?" The caretaker asked, glasses opaque.

She blinked. "What?"

"My name," he repeated, no longer shaking with fear, but anger. "I've known you since you were a baby. What's my name?"

"Well, it's… It's…" Carmine trailed off, glancing desperately at Kieran. "Kiki! You… You remember his name, right?"

"Um… It's…" Kieran scratched his head, looking increasingly nervous and alarmed. "I… I don't know."

"You don't know?! How can you not remember?! You've known him your entire life!" Carmine shouted, panicking.

"Well, you don't remember either!" He pointed out.

"It's all right, both of you," the caretaker said in a tone of voice that implied it wasn't even remotely okay. "Nobody in this village remembers my name. I've just been called the caretaker for so long even I've forgotten it! Decades of taking care of this rotting shrine and this dying town, and this is the thanks I get?! Not even a raise in over 30 years?! So much for being a valued and respected member of the community!"

"… Well, now I feel a little less bad about not remembering his name myself…" Briar muttered.

"You never even asked!" He shouted at her.

"I see… Feeling slighted and dissatisfied by the community you felt never appreciated you, you decided to steal the treasures you've been guarding all this time, feeling it was what you were owed," ANNA deduced.

"That's right! And also, a little bit because of the money I'd get from selling them. Well, more than a little. Okay, it was mostly about the money, though I really am pissed about the name thing," the caretaker admitted. "And I would've gotten away with it too if it weren't for you meddling kids and award-winning mangaka O-PEN!"

"Julie-Bulie roo!" Julie howled randomly.

Carmine just stared at the caretaker, stricken, her expression a good likeness for Aliquis's. Hohma waved a hand before her face and groaned. "Oh great, are we going to have to carry her everywhere too?"

"But… Then where are the real masks?" The confused Kieran asked.

"I already gave them to an interested buyer. It's too late, he's probably long gone by now-" the caretaker gloated.

"Found him," Gardevoir reported, eyes glowing as a man dressed like the one-armed ninja Sekuro appeared in their midst.

"What the… How did I…" The man glanced around in confusion, and then his eyes lit up when he saw O-PEN. "O-PEN! It's you! I thought I missed my chance for an autograph when you abruptly closed without explanation, but you're here! Does this mean I won some secret sweepstakes or something?"

Gardevoir's eyes glowed and he was telekinetically lifted into the air. "Okay yeah, definitely a secret sweepstakes."

"The masks you bought," she snarled. "Where are they?"

"If I tell you will O-PEN give me an autograph?" He asked coyly.

O-PEN lightly tapped the ground with her foot.

The entire shrine shook, the floor shattering beneath her toe, nearly everyone screaming as they were flung about and knocked to the ground. ANNA'S eyes widened in astonishment. "That… Had the force of an earthquake! How is this possible? Who… Or what is she?"

"WHAT THE DISTORTION WORLD?!" Carmine screamed.

"Oh, you're back," Hohma groaned, not sure whether he should be relieved or disappointed.

"She's… Like a real-life Ogress," Kieran gasped, starstruck.

"AAAAHHH! MAKE WORLD STOP SHAKING!" Julie shouted.

"All right! ALL RIGHT! I left the masks back in my room!" The buyer shouted, scared out of his mind.

Gardevoir's eyes glowed as she read his mind. "Found them."

She extended a hand, another set of three masks appearing in it. The counterfeits she had stolen earlier were crushed so hard they formed micro-singularities and collapsed on themselves.

"I spent a lot of money on those…" The caretaker whimpered.

"So, can I still get that autograph or-" the buyer said before Gardevoir psychically flung him against a wall.

"You disgrace the costume you're wearing," she said in disgust. She turned to her mistress and got down on one knee, holding out the masks to O-PEN. "Here they are, mistress. At long last. The masks are yours."

Briar glanced at Carmine. "You're not protesting this?"

"My entire worldview has been shattered," she whispered, looking numb. "Also, I don't think I could stop her if I tried."

"Oh yeah, nyou'd totally fail," Julie agreed.

Trembling in anticipation, O-PEN slowly reached out-

"Those masks are fake."

Everyone facefaulted.

"OH, COME ON!" Briar shouted.

Hohma glanced at Aliquis. "You know what? I'm actually starting to envy you. You don't have to try wrapping your mind around all these twists and turns."

"What?! Did you rip me off?!" the outraged cosplayer demanded of the caretaker. "You promised authentic ancient masks of legend!"

"I have no idea what she's talking about! Those are the real masks!" The caretaker protested.

"Are you telling me that there's a third thief?!" Ohara demanded.

"Wow, the Golden Cudgel must be making a lot of money off fake masks right now," Kieran commented.

"Can't be! Nyew masks smell way too old!" Julie protested, sniffing the air. "Sister, nyou sure these fake?"

"You are correct, sister. These masks are old, hundreds of years at that. In addition, they are made wholly of materials from Kitakami, including actual Tera Crystals," ANNA confirmed.

"But… Then how can they be fakes?" Gardevoir demanded.

"Because they are not old enough," ANNA emphasized. "I analyzed the shrine at Loyalty Plaza as well as Kitakami Hall, and both are older than these masks. And considering the ogre of legend possessed the masks before any of those structures were erected…"

Briar gasped. "Then either the entire legend is false…"

"Which it's not," Gardevoir said immediately.

"Or the true masks were stolen a very long time ago," ANNA concluded. "It is, in fact, possible that they were never here."

Silence fell upon the room as everyone processed this. The caretaker started trembling. "Then… Then you're telling me… All the years I've wasted here, holding festivals, telling stories, protecting these treasures… And THEY WEREN'T EVEN REAL?!"

"Well, to be fair, they are still genuine artifacts from ancient Kitakami," ANNA corrected him. "But seeing as how they lack whatever mystical properties the true masks allegedly possess, as well as the fact that they are indeed counterfeits… They are far less valuable."

The caretaker started laughing hysterically.

"I want my money back!" The buyer demanded angrily.

"… The masks were fake," Carmine whispered, staring into the distance. "The caretaker was a criminal all along. And… And apparently our most prominent myth may not be true either?! Just… Just how much of everything I know is a lie?!"

"You have no idea," Gardevoir said grimly, only to gasp as O-PEN just… Slumped to the floor. "Mistress?!"

O-PEN started shaking. Droplets of water splattered against the ground beneath her.

"Oh… Oh, mistress!" Gardevoir lived up to her category and embraced her trainer.

"Oh no…" Ohara whispered, tearing up herself.

"Well. What now?" Hohma asked, looking lost.

"Miss Briar, isn't there some way we can find the real masks?" Kieran pleaded.

"I don't really see how," the teacher admitted. "If the real masks were stolen hundreds of years ago, then any evidence or trail is long gone. It is… Regrettably possible that they've been lost, like so many treasures over the ages."

ANNA and Julie exchanged glances. Julie hesitated, but after a moment she set her jaw and stepped forward. "Julie can find them."

Everyone looked at her, startled. "You… Can?" Gardevoir asked.

Ohara gasped. "Of course! You can use your magic!"

Julie nodded, looking hesitant at first but more confident by the second. "Nyes. Using fake masks, Julie can find real ones. They have…ungh… simpatico link?"

They gave her confused looks. "You mean a sympathetic link?" ANNA decoded.

"Yes! That one!" Julie agreed.

She yelped, suddenly finding O-PEN was right in front of her. "You… Can you really do this?" Gardevoir pleaded. "Because if you're lying, or if you fail, my mistress, she… She will be devastated. Those masks mean everything to her. She has wanted them back for a very, very long time. They are…her greatest treasure." She clasped her hands. "If you can really do this… My mistress… Both of us… Will be forever in your debt."

Julie blinked, surprised, and then a smile formed on her face. "Nyou had Julie at 'greatest treasure.' Don't worry. Julie find masks. Julie nyever let down pretty girl." She winked.

Gardevoir swooned, and even though she was wearing a mask, O-PEN gave the impression that she was blushing profusely.

"Isn't she amazing?" Ohara gushed.

"Yeah, she is, it's so nice she's willing to go to such lengths to help O-PEN!" Kieran agreed.

Everyone stared at him.

"Where do we begin?" Gardevoir asked.

"Well-" Julie started.

"ATTENTION! O-PEN WILL BE MAKING HER PUBLIC ANNOUNCEMENT IN FIVE MINUTES! TICKETHOLDERS, PLEASE HEAD FOR YOUR SEATS!" A voice boomed over the loudspeakers outside.

Ohara gasped. "Oh my gosh, I almost forgot!"

"As did I," a dismayed Gardevoir realized. "Mistress, should we cancel-"

O-PEN looked at her.

"Are you certain? You've just gone through a bit of an emotional roller coaster-"

O-PEN looked at her.

"… Very well. If you are certain." Gardevoir sighed. "I'm still not sure this is a good idea, Mistress. Even so… I will support you, as I always have."

O-PEN hugged her. Gardevoir blushed. "M-mistress! We are in public…"

"So, uh… What should we do now?" Hohma asked. "Should we start the spell, or-"

Julie shook her head. "Nyo way! See announcement first!"

Gardevoir nodded. "That would be a good idea, yes. Especially as it will provide the context needed for you to understand what really happened all those years ago, and why the masks are so important to my mistress. We will meet with you after the announcement… Assuming things go well, that is."

"And if they don't?" ANNA asked.

Gardevoir hesitated. "… We shall see."

---

Practically every square inch of Kitakami Hall was packed with people and Pokémon. Even with every folding chair full, there were still dozens of people left over standing everywhere else. More than a few people had even climbed on top of the other buildings or gates filling the temple grounds, regardless of the risk to life and limb, and many who possessed flying Pokémon were circling about overhead, trying to get the best view of the stage erected right in front of the main shrine. A massive screen served as a backdrop magnifying everything that was on the stage, so even those forced to watch all the way down the mountain slope or even as far as Mossui Town could see what was going on, so long as they had decent enough binoculars and could read the subtitles.

Briar's class were given backstage passes, to the excitement of the fans among their number, and even Hohma and Carmine couldn't help getting swept up in the moment and cheering at the top of their lungs when Gardevoir and O-PEN appeared in a flash of light on stage, the roar from the crowd so deafening ANNA briefly wondered if it might cause a rockslide.

"Everyone!" Gardevoir, speaking for O-PEN, spoke directly into everyone's minds loudly enough to silence them. "Thank you all for coming!"

The audience roared again, and it took a few minutes before the sound levels dropped enough for O-PEN to start speaking again. (Or for Gardevoir to speak for her – oh you know what I mean.)

"Looking out and seeing all of you here… It's humbling. To know that something I made has touched the lives of so many people," O-PEN said. "When I first started The Ogre's Tale, I'd hoped people would like it, but I never imagined it would become such an insanely popular multimedia franchise beloved the world over. Some of you may have been with me from the very start, while others may be new to the series… But to all of you who've come to see me today… I say thank you! Thank you so much for reading my story!

"And to the people of Mossui Town… I'm very sorry to have inflicted so many tourists on you, but in my defense, I haven't been back here in a very long time, and I honestly thought this place would've gotten bigger by now!"

She got quite a few laughs at that, though very few of them were from the actual townsfolk.

"For all the years I've been doing this, people have always had a lot of questions for me. Usually the same ones. 'What's your real name?' 'Where did you come from?' 'Why do you always wear that strange costume everywhere?' And, most importantly, 'Where did you get all these ideas from?' Well, I'm here to tell you that today… All those questions will be answered."

There were quite a few excited murmurs and gasps of excitement at this.

"It's been said that the best stories are the ones drawn from life, and The Ogre's Tale is one of them," O-PEN continued. "Because, in the end, The Ogre's Tale, Ogress's story… Is my story too.

"And I'm not speaking metaphorically. For you see…"

It seemed as if the whole world was holding its breath as she reached up to grab her signature mask, identical to the one Ogress wore almost all the time. Their hearts all skipped a beat as, before their eyes, she took off the mask…

To reveal an orange face with yellow eyes with white, star-shaped pupils and small green leaves at the edges that loosely resembled eyelashes, a three-pointed leaf that served as hair, small black markings on her eyebrows and cheeks, and two pointed fangs in her upper jaw. "Ogress… Is me!" She announced. "My name is Ogerpon, and I am happy to meet you."

Absolute silence descended on Kitakami Hall. Everyone present stared at the unmasked ogre, absolutely flabbergasted.

The group backstage was no different. "Holy crap, Carmine was RIGHT?!" Hohma exclaimed.

"D-don't sound so surprised!" Carmine stammered, just as shocked.

"She's… She's real… She's really real… And… The ogre of legend?!" Kieran squealed. "I've written fanfics about this!"

"I've downvoted fanfics about this," a shocked Ohara said.

"This… Defies all my calculations," a stunned ANNA said.

Julie gave them confused looks. "Wait… Nyou didn't know already?"

Everyone stared at her. "What," Briar said.

"Julie figured out O-PEN was Pokémon ages ago. Thought everyone knyew," the bewildered Julie said.

"What do you… Oh, right, she demonstrated clearly superhuman abilities, yeah, looking back, that was probably a big sign she was really a Pokémon," Hohma realized.

"And you must've smelled that she wasn't human the first time you saw her!" Ohara added.

"What? No! Julie figured out ages ago!" Julie exclaimed.

"What?!" Everyone cried, except for Aliquis, as usual.

"How could you possibly have figured that out?" ANNA demanded.

"When watched recording of O-PEN giving interview, Julie paid attention to body language," Julie explained. "Didn't move like human in costume. Moved like Pokémon pretending to be human in costume. Also, costume way too real to be costume. Really obvious. Nyone of nyou figured it out? Not even nyou, big brain sister?" she asked in disbelief.

ANNA stared at her twin. Inside her mind, alarms were blaring. Programs were crashing. Hundreds of error messages were flashing behind her eyes. Her entire brain was at the risk of undergoing a hard reboot.

"No," she said.

"Huh. Score one for Julie then," Julie said smugly.

Out on the stage, Gardevoir got very tense and slowly placed a hand on Ogerpon's shoulder. The ogre, getting a little nervous as well by everyone's reactions or lack thereof coughed awkwardly. "So, I'm guessing you all have some questions-"

"IT'S THE OGRE OF LEGEND! IT'S BEEN WALKING IN OUR MIDST ALL ALONG! GET IT!" Goroge shouted, waving his broom at the same time as over half the trainers in the audience surged to their feet and produced Pokéballs, shouting, "SHE'S A POKÉMON! CATCH HER!"

A flurry of rocks and Pokéballs were hurled at this stage. Gardevoir quickly erected a barrier to repel them, but at least one got through, and while most of them clattered against the ground one struck Ogerpon's mask and dashed it from her hands. She was too stunned to notice.

A look of shock and disbelief crossed Ogerpon's face. "But… But I-"

"I told you this would happen," Gardevoir told her mistress, though she didn't sound even remotely happy about it. "I told you."

The crowd, now a frenzied, riled up mob, surged to their feet and rushed towards the stage. Many of the villagers had somehow gotten torches and pitchforks, while the overeager fans were readying their next wave of Pokéballs.

"I thought… After all this time, I really thought things had changed," Ogerpon whispered, her expression turning to despair, followed by tired resignation.

"I'm sorry," Gardevoir said, gathering power.

"Wait-" ANNA started, only for Gardevoir to fling a hand in their direction, telekinetically knocking them off the stage. As the mob started climbing onto the stage, she prepared to Teleport.

"Wait, we forgot-" a panicked Ogerpon suddenly realized, only to be cut off as Gardevoir Teleported them away in a blinding flash of light and a concussive blast of force which knocked away the angry villagers and crazed fans.

It also, unfortunately, caused the stage to collapse on itself, the giant screen toppling backwards and crushing the façade of the shrine. The mob screamed in panic and ran away as one of the floodlights fell in their midst, while the other one just so happened to land on a fireworks stand, setting everything off and causing the festival to become consumed in flames.

The fire reflected sinisterly in the cracked facets of the broken crystals in Ogerpon's mask, the forgotten relic partially caved in and cracked in two by the feet of the stampeding mob that had been cheering its owner's pseudonym just moments ago.

---

"Now," Mencia said as the appetizer dishes were carried away. "While we're waiting for the main course to begin, I thought we might get down to business-"

"One moment," Lillie said, smiling encouragingly at Nemona, who had been very quiet throughout the meal so far. "Nemona? What did you think of the appetizers?"

"W-what? Oh, they… They were fine," Nemona stammered, put on the spot.

"Bet you've been eating food this nice every night, on a boat like this," Selene commented, a breezy smile on her face which did not meet her eyes, as she gestured to the ocean surrounding them, the sun having already set and the stars beginning to appear in the sky overhead, easily visible on the outdoor deck they were having their meal on.

Nemona glanced at her mother for a second before replying, "Yes. I've had many delicious meals with my family. It's been so nice spending time with them again."

"Huh? What are you talking about, little sis? So far you've spent the whole trip-" Isabella started.

"Recovering from her terrible ordeal!" Mencia said quickly. "Isn't that right, dear?"

"Yes mother," Nemona said in a far too obedient tone which made Lillie want to throw up the little she'd eaten already.

(It hadn't been that good anyway.)

"Nemona, now that you're… Better," Lillie said carefully. "Are you looking forward to going back to school and seeing your friends?"

Nemona hesitated, and Mencia quickly said, "Actually, we're going to take her out of Naranjuva and homeschool her. After all, those so-called friends who dragged her into that terrible Area Zero, cost her an arm, and tried to force her to become some kind of inhuman abomination are still going there when by all rights they should have been expelled or imprisoned – though at least that degenerate Penny is behind bars-"

Lillie noted Nemona grip the armrests of her chair a little too tightly at that.

"So it would probably be for the best to keep her away from an environment which might trigger her PTSD," Mencia continued. "It's all for her own good, naturally."

"Naturally," Lillie said, not believing her for a second.

"Really? That's a shame. I had a great time attending school in Alola," Selene commented. "Learned a lot. Made lifelong friends. Met the girl of my dreams," she added, winking at Lillie, who giggled. "As a mother myself, I can understand the need to keep your little girl safe, but that kind of overprotectiveness can do more harm than good in the long run."

Isabel gasped. "What! You're a mother?! Since when?! The magazines never said anything about that! Did you adopt? Have you been cheating on Lillie? Is she pregnant?!"

"Preposterous. Two women cannot make each other pregnant," Desmond scoffed.

"Actually, we have all sorts of technology now which allows for that sort of thing-" Lillie started.

"Further proof this is all a dream," Desmond said dismissively.

"I really don't think our situations are all similar," Mencia said politely. "After all, your…'Daughter' is an interdimensional bat goddess, while mine is a perfectly ordinary girl."

"Interdimensional bat goddess… What a preposterous dream," Desmond muttered.

"Ordinary? Is that really you would describe your own daughter?" Selene demanded, only half-pretending. "You don't think there's anything special about her at all?"

Mencia spluttered, taken off guard. "Wh-What? No, that… I didn't mean-"

"Nemona, are you okay with dropping out of school? Saying goodbye to your friends and teachers?" Lillie pressed. "And what about your Pokémon?"

Nemona froze. "My… Pokémon?"

"They're being well cared for," Mencia said quickly, and neither Lillie nor Selene missed the panicked look in Nemona's eyes. "Maybe now we can move on-"

"I would like to hear Nemona's thoughts on the matter," Lillie insisted. "Nemona? Are you all right with this?"

Nemona gripped her armrests tighter. A cracking noise could be heard. "I… Think you should talk with my mother about business. That's why you're here, after all. Surely people as important as you don't need to be bothered about a silly little girl like me, right?"

"Nemona," Selene said. "As former silly little girls and proud silly big sort of grown-ups ourselves, there is absolutely nothing more important to us."

Nemona looked at her, shocked. A flicker of hope passed over her face.

And then her mother snuffed it out. "Well, you heard her, I believe it's time for business," Mencia said loudly. "Now, Madam President, Madam Champion, we at the Rotom Phone company seek to expand our brand across the world, so that every region on the planet becomes part of our network, linking every human in existence together in one big global community. That sounds delightful, don't you think?"

"Yeah, except the part where you have to pay a pretty hefty fee to get in," Selene pointed out.

"Nothing in this world is free. In any event, our sales numbers in Alola have been… Less than ideal," Mencia said delicately.

"Well yeah, we already have Rotom Pokédexes, seems redundant," Selene pointed out. "Plus, ours can actually talk to us." She paused. "Granted, some might call that a downside."

"We also have a very good deal with Kalos for the sale and distribution of Holo Casters in Alola thanks to our friendship with Queen Serena," Lillie added.

"Friendship? You mean when the bunch of you get together and fuck, because that's totally hot-" Isabella babbled.

"While the Holo Casters and Rotom Pokédexes are well and good, they are slowly but steadily being outpaced by the services provided by our phones," Mencia interjected quickly. "They have features and apps that simply aren't available on those devices."

"Right, because it's so important to have 5 billion camera filters and completely unnecessary accessories like the Rotom-Sticks," Selene snarked.

"Haven't reached 5 billion. Still trying to crack a thousand," Desmond commented. "And Rotom-Sticks will no longer be unnecessary as soon as we figure out how to keep phones from floating."

"Our phones can do a lot more than that," Mencia insisted.

"Can they project holograms? Because that's one of the big appeals of the Holo Casters," Selene pointed out. "Also, you know, the fact that you don't have to buy a new model every other week."

"Technology isn't good enough for that yet. Still working on it. We'll be able to have a new version every other week eventually," Desmond said confidently.

"Dear, you're not helping," Mencia hissed through gritted teeth. "And Madam President, could you please ask your wife to stay out of this? It has nothing to do with Pokémon battles, so I don't think she has any idea what she's talking about."

Oh.

Well then.

Lillie had already planned on rejecting her, of course.

But now she was going to be mean about it.

She gave Mencia a big, gormless, innocent smile that nobody except her wife realized was a signal that death was approaching. "But of course. Dear?"

"Yes, my love?" Selene asked, awestruck and terrified.

"Please be quiet."

"Yes dear."

"Now, I fail to see where I come into this," Lillie said very sweetly to Mencia, already fantasizing about how she was going to have Nebby fling her into an Ultra Wormhole leading to a hungry Guzzlord and kidnap her daughter.

"Well, Madam President, the Aether Foundation more or less runs Alola at this point," Mencia explained, something Lillie was already very much aware of. "People listen to you and your wife. As such, we believe you could help us gain more of a foothold in your region."

"Oh my, you really think so?" Lillie asked, doing a good job of pretending to be clueless.

"I do," Mencia insisted. "Especially if your wife were to endorse our Rotom Phone. We've been trying to get some of the other regional Champions interested, with varying degrees of success."

"Don't understand why the new Galarian Champion threw a caber at our heads. Or a word she said," Desmond mumbled. "No real accent can possibly be that thick. Leon was much easier to deal with."

"Well, gosh, Selene is really popular, I suppose that could change some people's minds," Lillie commented. Selene was trying very hard not to laugh. "I don't really see how that benefits us, though."

"We were hoping that Aether could distribute the new phones, since people trust your organization, and you and your wife would receive a decent share of the profits, of course," Mencia said smoothly.

"The Aether Foundation is a nonprofit organization," Lillie pointed out.

"Which means it's all the more important to get your hands on as much funding as you can to continue your Pokémonitarian efforts, yes?" Mencia said with a wink.

Lillie continued to smile, deciding the Ultra Wormhole would have a dozen Guzzlord in it. No, better idea, she'd throw her into a smack of Nihilego, it turned out so well for her mother after all. She should probably toss Desmond in as well, to be safe, there was something very disturbing about that man. "I suppose you're right…" She murmured, batting her eyelashes and trying to look as stupid as Isabella, who seemed to be fascinated by her own reflection in her wine glass. "There is, however, just one thing I'd like to know before I commit to anything…"

"Name it," Mencia said, greed shining in her eyes.

"Where do the Rotom come from?"

Mencia hesitated, a brief flicker of panic crossing her eyes and Lillie knew she'd won. "I'm sorry?"

"The Rotom you're using for your phones," Lillie elaborated. "Where are you getting them from? Rotom are very rare in most regions, and yet you somehow have enough to possess the millions of phones you produce every year, made more impressive since you got rid of the feature to transfer Rotoms from phone to phone so every new phone they're forced to buy to keep up with all your new features and software updates has a completely different Rotom in it. Where are you getting them all from? I'm not certain that many even exist in the wild, you could capture the entire population of a region and still not have enough to meet demand, especially at the rate you're churning out phones."

Mencia laughed nervously. "Suffice it to say that we have a very good breeding program and leave it at that."

Lillie raised an eyebrow and Selene tried not to squeal and take her right then and there. "Really? Well, it would have to be a very good breeding program because I know very well the breeding rates of Rotom, and even if you had every Rotom you could find impregnating every Ditto you could find 24/7 – which is hideously illegal, by the way – there is still no feasible way you could possibly hatch enough new Rotom to meet demand. The only other alternative would be to cause mass deaths by electrocution, which is not only also horrendously legal but only has a 1 in 1000 chance of producing a Rotom. So, I ask you again, where do the Rotom come from?"

"Oh, it's not that impossible," Desmond started to say. "So long as you discard meaningless things like sentiment or ethics or the law-"

"That's proprietary information," Mencia said sharply.

"And would we be privy to this information if we agreed to your little endorsement deal?" Lillie asked sweetly.

Mencia's jaw tightened but she said nothing.

Lillie nodded smugly. "Yes, that's what I thought. Come on, dear, we're leaving. Oh, and one other thing-"

Before she could inform Mencia they were taking her daughter and there was nothing she could do about it, suddenly several servers came out, pushing carts laden with plates covered in cloches. "Dinner is served!" One of the staff announced as the dishes were distributed.

"Please, don't be hasty," Mencia said desperately. "Won't you at least stay for this course? I'm sure we can work something out."

There was no way they could work something out. However, Lillie reluctantly had to admit she was somewhat hungry – and by the growling of her wife's stomach, it was clear Selene was too – and if they were going to steal this woman's clearly abused daughter and possibly feed her to an Ultra Beast, they might as well get a free dinner out of the deal.

As she sat back down, the waiters whisked off the cloches, revealing a pasta dish shaped like a five-pointed star with a colorful berry placed at each point, with a tiny flag depicting the Cassiopeia constellation in the center.

"For our first course, we would like to present you with this special pasta dish – or as we like to call it, pastar - which, appropriately enough, shall be eaten beneath the starry Vista of the night sky! I do believe Cassiopeia should be quite visible tonight," the head waiter announced.

"What? Preposterous, it's the wrong time of year for that," Desmond grunted, glancing at the sky as if it had offended him somehow. "Clearly a dream, can't even bother trying to remain consistent."

"Well, shall we begin?" Mencia asked quickly, hoping to smooth over Lillie's legitimate concerns.

Nemona stared at the dish for a moment, face ashen, as if she had just seen a Ghost-type.

Then she took a deep breath, folded her napkin, pushed back her seat, stood up…

And flipped the table over, shouting, "Madam President and Madam Champion, I'm being held here against my will by my horrible family, I am absolutely not back to normal I don't want to be back to normal they're trying to force me to give up my entire life and my friends and my girlfriends and they're holding my Pokémon hostage and please please save me I don't want to be here anymore I want to go HOME!"

Everyone stared at her, shocked.

Then Selene chuckled, stood up, and hurled her chair at Mencia's head, causing the older woman to shriek and duck before it hit her. The chair smashed into the nearby glass doors back into the ship, shattering them. "Well, that's good enough for me. Ma'am, I'm placing you under arrest for child abuse, endangerment, and kidnapping. And for whatever you're doing to the Rotoms, because it's obviously shady. And your husband because he's clearly a total psychopath and elbow-deep in it. And your daughter because I'm pretty sure she's done something wrong."

"Look, it was an honest mistake, I thought sweatshops were just places where sweaters were made!" Isabella said defensively.

"Thank you for giving me more ammo!" Selene said brightly.

"Madam Champion, this is all a misunderstanding," Mencia stammered. "My daughter is confused-"

"I am not fucking confused mom, who do you think I am, Isabella?!" Nemona snapped.

"Yeah, I'm much bigger than her!" Isabella agreed cluelessly.

"Isabella, please stop talking," Mencia said in exasperation. "And even if I had done something wrong – which I haven't-"

"Liar liar pants on fire!" Nemona shouted.

"We are currently in international waters, nowhere near Alola, so you lack the authority to arrest me," Mencia said with a hint of smugness.

That smugness was wiped off her face when Selene took out a badge. "Yeah, except I'm a fully deputized member of the International Police, so yes, I do, in fact, have the authority to arrest your entire family! Except for Nemona, of course, who as far as I can tell has done nothing wrong."

"That you know of!" Nemona said cheerfully, staring at her in awe.

"Exactly!" Selene said, raising a hand, relishing the look of wonder on the younger girl's face as she high fived her.

"Oh my gosh you're so cool. Can you adopt me? Please say you can adopt me," Nemona pleaded. "Wait, no, then I'd have to move to Alola, that would never work-"

"Your not entirely hypothetical big sister can use Ultra Wormholes to get you to school within seconds, assuming you don't feel like you're mature and responsible enough to live on your own," Lillie offered.

"Fucking YES."

"Now hold on a minute!" Mencia snapped. "If all of you will just calm down and think for a minute, you'll realize you're blowing this out of proportion. After all, if I really were, as my daughter insists, some sort of base villain-"

Nemona promptly pulled out her contacts and ripped off her arm, startling Lillie and Selene before they realized it was a prosthetic. "You forced me to wear these to make me look 'normal!'" Nemona said angrily, her true eyes – one feline, the other mechanical, both looking much better on her than the fakes – glaring at her mother furiously. "And cut my hair and filed down my teeth and nails! They already know you're a liar and a bad parent!"

"A liar is not the same as a villain," Mencia insisted. "And I was saying, if I really were evil… You yourself claim that I'm holding your Pokémon hostage. If that were the case, do you really want to antagonize me? From a purely hypothetical standpoint, of course."

"Light That Burns the Sky!" Lillie said brightly.

Mencia blinked. "What?"

"Oh, just thinking of something I'm going to do later," she said happily. "Although maybe not that much later."

As Mencia gave her a confused look, Nemona laughed. "Ha! Nice try, mom! You no longer have my team as a bargaining chip! Isn't that right, Atticus?" She asked the head waiter.

Everyone looked at the waiter in surprise, who gave Nemona an apologetic look. "I'm afraid you're only half right about that, Miss Nemona. My associates and I have indeed retrieved your Pokémon… But I am not Atticus."

Nemona blinked, confused. "What? But… The pasta, the coded phrases-"

"I am not a member of Team Star… Though that does not mean I do not have a connection to the stars," the waiter said dramatically, extending a hand upward. "For you see…"

He gripped his uniform and cast it off, revealing, to their astonishment, a body that could not possibly be human. His torso and limbs all floated separately from each other and resembled multicolored ice cream cones with a very sharp points, while his head was round, pink, and covered in holes. His body parts all rotated in different directions without affecting the alignment of his head.

"That is where I am from."

Everyone stared at him in disbelief.

"Wait, how were you hiding all of that?" A baffled Selene asked.

"Oh. Em. Ay! Mom, why didn't you tell me you hired an alien?!" Isabella squealed.

"I… Didn't know I had," a flabbergasted Mencia stammered.

"Impossible. Aliens can't exist. They're a scientific impossibility," Desmond insisted. "You're a scientific impossibility!"

"… Okay, not how I saw this going," a disturbed Lillie admitted.

"… Atticus, please tell me you're just wearing a really cool costume, because if not I am going to flip the Distortion World out," Nemona said.

The alien (?) bowed. "Allow me to introduce myself. I am Dubhe, First Star of the Septentriones, servants of the Star King Polaris, ruler of the galaxy. We have been sent here to pass judgment on humanity… And the Rotom Phone company is but the first of many who shall be put on trial."

"What? Why would aliens care about a phone company on a single planet?" An incredulous Lillie demanded.

"Suffice it to say that we too want to know where the Rotoms come from," Dubhe said cryptically.

"Get him!" Mencia yelled, the guards and staff reaching for their Pokéballs.

"Ah, Pokéballs. A marvelous contraption, allowing one of the frailest and weakest species in the universe to tame beings superior to them in every way," Dubhe mused, unconcerned. "There is, however, one flaw: what do you do if they can't open?"

The security force threw their Pokéballs at him… And they clattered to the ground without opening.

"What? That's… That's not possible!" Mencia protested, shocked.

"There is far more in the heavens above then you humans can even begin to comprehend," Dubhe waxed, although Selene noticed that while Nemona looked surprised… There was also a hint of suspicion in her eyes. Had she seen something like this before?

"And what exactly are you here, on this boat, to do?" Selene said, after confirming she couldn't open any of her balls. "Because I assure you, I don't need Pokémon to fight."

"Indeed, you don't, for which you have our respect," Dubhe conceded. "Consider this a warning of what is to come. And to demonstrate these are not hollow words…"

The waves started churning, rocking the boat. A dark shape appeared beneath the surface and emerged from the depths, rising into the air, blinding lights focusing on the ship as rivulets of water dripped down the sides of what could only be an alien spaceship.

"Not. Scientifically. Possible," Desmond barked as everyone stared at the ship, almost as big as the yacht, in disbelief, numerous colored lights flashing on its sides, an ominous humming noise emanating from the vessel as it hovered and rotated in place, numerous small domes dotting the surface while a much larger one arose from the center, seeming to gaze at them like a giant eye.

That comparison proved to be most apt when suddenly, a beam of light shot down from the center of the ship and struck Nemona, causing her cry out in surprise as she started levitating into the air. "Que demonios?!"

"Hang on!"

Selene charged forward, leaping into the air, stretching a hand out towards Nemona. Nemona desperately thrust her own arm forwards…

Only to realize at the last second she'd instinctively used her right arm, which was currently missing a hand. She cursed herself very loudly as Selene fell back to the deck and she was sucked into the ship, disappearing.

"What are you doing?!" Mencia shrieked.

"Yeah, how dare you probe her but not me?" Isabella complained.

"The young lady made it very clear she does not wish to be here," Dubhe remarked as several Pokéballs appeared around him, floating in the air. "So we will grant her request."

"If you think I'm just gonna let that happen-" Selene snarled.

"If you wish to stop us," Dubhe interjected. "You're welcome to try… Assuming you can catch us."

He teleported away, and with a bone-trembling rumble, the ship rose further into the air and started flying away.

"You! Do something! Don't let them get away with my daughter!" Mencia ordered Selene.

"Selene, our balls work again," Lillie told her wife, holding up Nebby's ball, the button flashing.

"I guess whatever disabling device they're using is limited by range… Don't worry, ma'am, we're not going to let them get away with your daughter," Selene said.

"You never said we were going to bring her back," Lily commented when they were in the air moments later, riding Nebby in pursuit of the ship.

Selene smirked. "No. No, I did not."