Percy
Percy laid on the couch in the living room of his home for the first time in years. After being kicked out of his own room by his new sister Estelle, Percy had been forced to set up base on the couch. The television set flashed incoherent lights in front of his eyes and he watched without comprehending. He turned on the television to quiet his brain, but still, he was unable to sleep.
A quick glance at the clock told him that it was three in the morning, long past when he needed to have been asleep. He rubbed his hands over his face. He no longer wanted peace and quiet. It's when the talking stops that the thoughts start entering his brain. Sitting here alone, he might as well have been the same person he was in the basement of Tartarus, wishing for everything to end.
Stop, he commanded himself. He was different now. He had Annabeth, only a phone call away. His mother, sleeping mere feet from him down the hall. So many other people he loved protecting him. He was not in the same place where he wished to die. This is everything he wanted. He should be happy.
But they wanted him to go back. He squeezed his eyes shut as soon as the thought entered his brain again. In the place they wanted him to return to, he had curled in a ball and wished to die. He had watched with dying eyes an Imaginative Annabeth as she held his hand. He had tried to conjure up the name of any loved one to briefly turn his focus away from the pain being inflicted. He had been torn apart and left in pieces, only to be slowly pieced together over the last few weeks.
But now he was going to be torn apart again. Every time he closed his eyes, the horrors of Tartarus flashed through his vision. He had told himself he would be safe, that he would never go back. They had told him that he was safe. But they were liars.
He sat up on the couch, breath suddenly uneasy. Stop being paranoid, he told himself. They wont let anything happen to you. It wont be like last time. It's just a quick trip. A visit. Like a vacation. Who was he kidding?
He couldn't go back. He didn't think he could survive if he did. How could he manage to pull himself together if he knew his safety was so fragile. If he knew he could loose everything he worked so hard to gain.
But they would loose everything if he didn't.
Suddenly, a cry from the other room broke Percy away from his consuming thoughts. He jerked his head up and heard the grumbles and moans from his mother and Paul, followed by his mother opening the door. He heard her shushing sounds as she tried to coax Estelle back to sleep. Percy sat, only listening, his mind quiet for the first time all night.
Estelle fell back asleep and his mother went as well. Percy rose shakily from the couch, gripping the back for support as his leg and ribs were still not completely healed. He limped down the hallway and into Estelle's, and his old, room. He watched her sleep in her crib.
She was so tiny and innocent. She had everything in front of her to choose from. She wasn't destined for anything. He future was a blank sheet, so white and pure. When he was a baby, his future and wounds were prophesied. He was doomed the minute he took his first breath. But Estelle was able to do anything.
Her pure white sheet suddenly became muddied as Percy saw visions of Tartarus. He collapsed onto the floor in front of the crib, unable to look at the sweet baby. He was ruining her endless possibilities. If the monster world overtook the mortal world, her future was short, and those short years painful. He was ruining her.
He was ruining so many others too. His mom and Paul, never to celebrate a fiftieth anniversary. Grover, never to preserve more of the wild, the wild in fact, being destroyed in a whole. Jason, never finishing his project for the gods. Hazel and Frank, never seeing where their relationship goes. Leo, barely getting to live his life as he wanted to. Piper, never truly figuring out who she is. And Annabeth, never being Annabeth. Ceasing to exist. Just a whisper in the long length of time. Gone.
And so many others whose lives will end because of him. He thought about the neighbors, the people who lived next to him on the floor. Did they know their days were numbered? At least his friends had a warning. And the bus driver? Did he have a wife? A family who like him would be gone in the next few days? Did they know? Did they have some indescribable feeling that something was wrong?
They don't have to die. Percy rose slightly to look again at his sister Estelle. He could save them all. The bus driver could go home to his family. Estelle could choose whatever color in which she wanted to write her future.
Percy was shaking as he gripped the bars of the crib. His mind raced through every single punch, kick, scream uttered from his mouth during his months in Tartarus. Every cruel laugh as he collapsed in agony. The red sky, foggy air, fiery rivers, shattered ground. The feeling of unending hopelessness and pain as the faces of his loved ones slowly slipped away from his mind.
He had to go back. He knew it. Through all the fear and anger, he knew he would do it, to his core. He couldn't let these people die. It wasn't really a choice. It never was. If he could save them all, he would do much worse.
A tear fell from his eye and traced its way down his face. His breathing was shaky, but steadier then it was a second ago. He pulled himself to his feet and leaned down, delivering a kiss to Estelle's forehead.
He left the room and walked towards the phone. He dialed the number he had memorized so long ago. The phone picked up on the third ring.
"Hello?" The voice of an exhausted Annabeth rang through the receiver. He could tell just in those two syllables that she had just woken up. He closed his eyes and let her voice fill him for a second before answering. It wouldn't be like last time. She promised him that and he trusted her.
"I'll do it." He whispered, his voice hoarse.
He was met with silence on the other end. He knew from her silence that she knew exactly what he was talking about. He heard shuffling, then a door close. She had walked outside of her cabin.
"When?" Her voice was shaky.
"I just want to get it over with." He leaned on the table next to him.
"Do you want to do it now?" She swallowed.
"We don't really have time to wait, do we?" His breathing came in, then out. Steady rhythm, don't let it pick up again.
"I can be there in an hour." He heard her moving on the other line.
"Bring Grover. And Thalia." He blurted. "Wait, no. Stop, no. I- I don't want them to have been down there. I don't want them to see it. To remember it. I... just you. Only you. Please." His hands began to shake while holding the phone to his ear. This was all becoming very real very quickly.
"Percy." Annabeth had stopped moving.
"Please." He begged. "I don't want them to be like me. To be like us." He wanted to sit but the phone cord wouldn't reach the ground.
"Okay." She said softly. "We have to bring Nico though. He knows the way in."
Percy nodded with a lump in his throat. Although she couldn't see him, Annabeth knew what he was saying. Silence fell on both lines as they listened to each other's trembling breaths.
"Don't tell anyone. Please." Percy finally croaked out.
"I wont. I'll be there in an hour, Percy. Hold on." Annabeth's line became a flurry of movement again. Knowing she couldn't get prepared and talk to him at the same time, Percy made to hang up.
"I love you." He said over the phone. There would never be enough times to say it. Not when there had been so long that he couldn't.
"I love you too. And Percy?" She paused. "We'll be okay. I promise." And the line clicked and she was gone. Percy sat listening to the tone of the telephone for a while before putting it back on the receiver and sitting down. He watched the meaningless characters on the TV talk about their meaningless problems and waited for the clock to tick down.
He was going back to Tartarus.
Please review!
I think we got in some much needed Percy commentary, don't you think?