Roanapur Nights
A Rosario+Vampire and Black Lagoon Crossover
Chapter 14
The Witch's Knowl had become a true home. It was one that housed a family that was in no way normal. It would be a stretch to say that it was even traditional, and yet today that was even more evident. Both of Tsukune's parents were visiting, both were helping with the children that had been taken in, and both were doing their best to assist where needed. There was little doubt in the mind of Moka that she had created one of the single biggest mistakes of her young life.
Hindsight, as the human phrase went, was twenty/twenty. Had she realized how damning her decision was, how absolutely terrible it had been, she would have stopped. She would have begged Tsukune for forgiveness. No, she wouldn't have even suggested such a terrible thing. As it was she was practically a phantom. Yukuri still treated her as a friend, Ruby treated her as a tolerated guest and nothing more.
She had considered asking if she could go with Tsukune. It wasn't that she wanted to travel, or even felt that she had the right, but it was because she wanted the small chance that she could change things. She held onto the hope that her Tsukune would return to her. Oh, if he did there would be nothing that she would deny him. She would give him children, and they could be raised around his parents. She would be desperate to allow them to be raised around his parents.
Instead she had simply wished him a safe trip. She had held her tongue, knowing that going would be unproductive at best, and heart shattering at worst. She would be subject to hearing her friends receive what she so wanted. She would be forced to listen to them as he touched them with those sweet and gentle hands. She would be forced to endure as he had done. She held the Rosary that hung around her neck, "Please," she said into it, hoping to get a response, "Please, tell me that I can fix this."
The voice of inner Moka made no attempt to answer. What was the point? She had betrayed the one she loved, and for what reason? Stubborn pride. That was gone, she would swallow what little pride she had left if it meant that he'd take her back. She'd gladly become a mere concubine if he would have her again. Just to feel his touch, to hear him tell her that he loved her.
The worst of it was that Ling Ling was like they were. She was immortal, in a sense, and she would be there long after Kurumu was gone. She would be a glaring reminder that she was never going to monopolize Tsukune again. There would be someone there to ensure that she could never hurt him again. She didn't want to, but she didn't like the idea of sharing either.
"It doesn't matter," she said softly, "If I have to I will. I'll share him, I'll let him have what he wants, but I promise that if he takes me back I'll do anything."
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She sat there before she heard the sound of a small vehicle moving up the hill. She stood and saw the small vehicle that was nearing them for their mail. The little vehicle was an electric car, something the local community had purchased for the mail carriers to use. They produced little waste, and they were certainly far more quiet in their approach. She started to move toward it before something else simply appeared after the electric vehicle had disappeared.
Unlike the small electric vehicle this was an old school bus. One that she knew quite well. The driver of it stepped out, put a small letter into the box, and then returned toward the bus. Almost as if he could tell that he was being watched he turned and tipped his hat toward the house. She watched as he climbed back aboard, and then watched as he simply drove off. He'd appeared from practically nowhere, but for what reason she had no idea.
She left the confines of the room that she had been staying in. A princess in a tower, but put there by her own captor. She'd created the very special monster that destroyed her marriage. It was only right that she punished herself for it. She moved toward the mailbox, and she opened it. A newspaper from Las Vegas was inside of it. That was specifically for Kurumu. While she wouldn't openly admit it, the paper was a way to ensure that her mother and aunt haven't done anything to get themselves into trouble.
Another paper from Tsukune's home, a few letters from his cousin, a single letter that was from San. It was likely over the child that she adopted. Moka knew that she would read the letter. It would be a fitting punishment. Perhaps she shouldn't consider it as such. The child didn't ask to be made, he didn't ask to be born, he simply was. But what caught her attention was a small envelope that had the Huang Family Crest on it.
She took it out and opened it. There before her were two tickets, first class, for Roanapur. A short letter from Ling Ling, of all people, explaining that should she choose to come there would be a driver waiting for her at the airport. More to the point she was informed that she would be given room adjoining Tsukune's own room. There was no mention of this being Tsukune's idea, and yet the possibility was there.
It could be his idea, it could be him wanting to give her a chance. She looked at the tickets, the envelope, and then she looked at the house. It was a chance, and perhaps that made it worth it. She moved, a purpose flooded her, and she headed toward the room that had become her cell. She saw Mrs. Aono, and she watched as the woman that had been her mother-in-law neared her.
"Moka?"
She bowed her head, "I believe that Tsukune wants to give me a chance," she said, her voice cracking, "I've been sent tickets to where he is, informed that there would be a driver, I…"
She shook, "What if I ruin this? What can I do to make this better?"
She knew that she deserved no kindness, but to her surprise she received it, "If you love him the way you say that you do, then do nothing to break his heart again," she said softly, "Accept that it will take time, and I know that is what you both have now. If my son has decided to give you a chance, then prepare for the longest courtship of your young life. Moka, I know him, and I know that he will not purposefully harm you. Still, after what has happened he will likely be distant. Allow him to be."
The words were like a dagger to her, and yet they had been said with the utmost kindness. They stung because they were true, but that also meant that she hurt because she caused the hurt. Tsukune may be giving her a chance, but did she deserve to take it? Did she even dare to step into the slim chance that she could fix things. Oh, if she was able to then nothing would be off the table. He had a harem now, and she would learn to be fine with that. She had no room to judge, no room to demand, so she would have to accept.
She had to accept that others came and began healing what she had wounded. What she had damaged to the point of nearly no return. She had to accept that it was her foolish pride that did this. It wasn't anyone other than her. She looked at her former mother-in-law, at the tickets, and finally she nodded, "I will," she said softly, "I'll do this right, and I will take the time that it needs."
For her part Mrs. Aono gave her a small nod, "Do not hurt him again."
She shook her head vigorously, "I won't," she promised, as she moved toward the bedroom she had come from, "I'll do everything I can to make sure that he never hurts again."
It was the truth, and she stepped into the room. She stood there taking in the choices of clothes, and suddenly nothing felt right. She'd sullied everything she owned. Not that it mattered much. These were the only clothes that she had. Since she was cut off from her father, since she was banished completely, she was forced to reside upon the charity of Tsukune himself. She understood that even that stopped at the basic necessities. He was under no obligation to help her at all, and he certainly was under no obligation to purchase new clothes for her.
She couldn't just go into a store and hand over a credit card now. She had no funds, no access, she was without means at all. Not that it mattered. She didn't care that she was effectively penniless. If Tsukune would accept her back she would forever remain so. She would simply make do, and that would be it. She at least looked at the clothes that she hadn't worn after her affair.
A few pairs of designer jeans, a couple of tee shirts, a couple of sweaters, and of course a few pairs of panties and a favorite bra of hers. It wasn't showy. It was actually a simple white thing. The kind that she had worn the first night that she and Tsukune had slept together. She knew that it wasn't that bra, but it was like it. She packed it, and then she gathered a few other essentials that she had kept for herself.
Perfume, deorident, a few other odds and ins, and then she left with the simple luggage. Again, it wasn't the massive amount of luggage she had gotten used to before. It was a single carryon bag, something that Tsukune had helped her pick out, and she began to walk down the steps. She stopped when she saw Yukari. The young witch was studying her for a moment.
"Moka?"
She swallowed, "I.." she said before she shook her head, "They sent tickets, and maybe Tsukune wants to give me a chance."
The young witch watched her, slowly moved toward her, and then touched her hand, "Moka," she said softly, "Don't."
There were tears starting to form in her eyes, "I know that you want to fix things, and I want you to fix things. I want you and Tsukune to be together, but don't go. It's too soon, and it will hurt you both all over again."
She could see the real fear in her young friend's eyes, "I have to," she said after a moment, "I have to go. I have to fix it, and I know that it will take time, but if I go then it means that he sees that I'm willing to try."
She shook her head, "This won't end up the way you want it to," she replied, her voice almost a whisper, "It's going to be horrible, I know it, and I don't want the two of you to hurt anymore. I know that you want to go, and I know that you want to fix things, but what if he doesn't?"
She looked at Moka for a moment, "What if he wants you to go through what he went through? What if he just wants you to stay outside of the room while he's with… them?"
Moka's eyes widened at the thought, "I… I have to."
She shook her head, "I know that you want to protect me, but I need to go. I need to."
She moved, and she knew that she was being watched, "Maybe you can come too?" she said half hoping, "I mean, I'm sure that it would be okay for you too."
Yukari shook her head, "Someone needs to be with the children," she replied softly, "And I shouldn't leave anyway. I know that Ruby needs help."
Moka nodded, and she turned toward the door. She stepped out into the world, an uncertain realization that what was coming was something that she wasn't fully ready for. It wouldn't undo all that had happened, but it would be a chance to move forward. She would work toward restoring the relationship between her and Tsukune. She would prove that she loved him, and she would never again try to force him into anything.
There was nothing she would hide from him. There was nothing that she would keep from him. All of it would be available to him, and all of it would be his. What she had left in this world belonged to him. It always had, and it always would. She was a fool for giving it away to someone that wasn't worthy of it.
She walked outside, and for a moment she considered what Yukari had said. She could be right. Tsukune might not be ready, and she didn't want to add more hurt to him. She didn't want to see him suffer more, but at this point she knew that if she was to go it would be to help repair what they had. It wouldn't be for any other reason. She breathed out, stepped silently, and made her way toward the road.
She heard something and turned around to see Ruby. She could see the changes already starting. Ruby herself had received Tsukune's blood, and in doing so it had begun changing her. Yet, the changes had seemed to start even before he began giving her his blood. It was almost as if just being in his presence was enough to start altering her. She watched as the young witch moved toward her.
"Yukari told me about the tickets," she said as she neared her, "She caught me, told me, and begged me to ask you to reconsider."
She closed her eyes, "I still want to hate you," she said, her voice sharp and cold, "I want to hate you so badly for what you did to him. Do you know how much you have wounded the heart of the one I serve?"
She stared at her for several moments, "But it is because he has offered his protection to you, it is because of his loyalty to who you once were, that is what keeps me from completely hating you," she said simply, "Moka, if you go this will not end well. Maybe it will just be you getting to experience what he did. Maybe it will be nothing more than listening to Kurumu getting railed over and over again, but whatever it is I can promise you that it won't end with you sharing Tsukune's bed."
She stood there, "I was married to him," she said softly, "I married him, and I made a mistake, a horrible mistake, a terrible one, but it was a mistake."
She saw the glare from Ruby, and she wanted to panic, but the newly changed witch shook her head, "No, a mistake is forgetting your purse when you leave the house. A mistake is forgetting to take a book back to the library, or forgetting to eat lunch."
She breathed out, "Those are mistakes," she seethed, "But what you did wasn't a mistake. It was done purposefully to prove a point. You let someone that wasn't worth the dirt Tsukune treads upon to fuck you."
She spat the last words as if they were vile, "It wasn't love was it?" she asked, her voice sounding acidic, "It was pure fucking. It was animalistic, and it was done to punish Tsukune because he didn't just agree to whatever it was that you wanted. You were a spoiled little princess that didn't get her prize."
Moka stood there and she couldn't deny any of it, "So, because he's promised his protection, and because I hope that some part of the girl I knew is still there, don't go," she said as she turned around, "Because if you do I promise all you'll find is misery and pain. And I know that would hurt my Tsukune."
"But, maybe it's a chance."
She breathed out, "Are you so desperate that you're willing to risk everything on a mere chance?"
She looked at her, "Moka, I know how strong you are, and I'm not talking about your inner self. I'm talking about you. You are mentally and emotionally strong. Why do you want to torture youself like this?"
She hung her head, "I deserve it," she replied, her voice quiet and reserved, "I deserve it for what I did to him. I deserve it because I was an idiot. I want to turn back time and let myself know what her choice was going to cause. That she should swallow her pride, tell Tsukune that she loves him, and she wants her children to be raised around his parents."
She sniffed, "I can't though. I can't travel back in time, and I can't stop myself, so instead I need to try to fix things. Even if…" she felt the tears crying as sobs escaped her, "Even if it means that I'll never be anything more than a bedwarmer. Even if I can just be a concubine to him, I want him to know that I'm so sorry, and that I will never do anything to him like that again."
Ruby studied her, "Well, I'm glad that you've finally matured," she breathed out, her voice strained, "I really do want to hate you, and I know that you know that."
She shook her head, "But I've given you my warning. I can't stop you from going," she replied, "However, I can arrange for one of us to come and be there. Personally I think that it should be Yukari. She is likely to come to your aid far faster than I would."
She looked at Moka, "Sorry, but I'd likely allow you to wallow in your own filth for a bit," she replied, "But Yukari still sees you as a friend, and I know how loyal she is."
She shook her head, "Go to him Moka, if that's what you want, go," she said as she turned around, "Perhaps what you're hoping for will happen, but I fear that it won't and you will completely fall from grace. Who knows what the future holds for you, but the one where you get to be with Tsukune forever and ever is gone. Maybe you'll come back together, but I believe that what you will find is nothing more than misery."
With that she turned around and walked back into the house. Moka watched and felt her heart sink. Everything that Ruby said was the truth. If she went there was a good chance that it would be nothing more than misery. She could likely end up feeling so much disgust and hate toward herself that it would overshadow everything else, but then she was already there wasn't she? Could it really be any worse than she was facing at the moment? She believed that the answer was no. She moved down the drive, her intention now was clear. She needed to travel to the Huang Family Compound, and she would speak to Tsukune. She would try to repair things.