'Baby, Can I Hold You?' Missing Scenes.
After seven years away, Arizona Robbins returns to Grey Sloan for a one-off surgery. But what of her life in New York? How do Callie, Sofia & Nicole Herman fit in? Set during season 20, episode 4. One-shot, complete.
I will preface this by saying I didn't watch "Baby, Can I Hold You?", just got my information of the show writer's apparent amnesia from online sources. These are the scenes you didn't see but 100% happened (trust me). This is just a one-shot and won't be added to but I won't mark it complete for now, just to make sure enough Callie & Arizona fans, who needed scenes like this (like me), get a better chance to read it. No medical stuff because I don't care about that for this one and it's heavy on the dialogue. Regardless of all that, I hope you like it.
(Also, I haven't watched Greys past Season 15 episode 2, so forgive me if there are some inaccuracies).
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"Wow! New York looks good on you, how are things since we last spoke? First time I've seen you in the flesh for… gosh… I can't even remember."
"Well, when the iPad camera is covered in sticky finger marks and food, you miss the finer nuisances of the image." Arizona chuckled as she grabbed her coffee from the familiar cart and poured an obscene amount of sugar into the beverage.
"Still have sixteen sugars in your coffee I see." Teddy raised an eyebrow. "The Big Apple hasn't dampened your sweet tooth; you know that isn't good for you right?"
She grinned. "Neither is almost dying in the OR Altman but here we are." Only she could get away with a comment like that. They made their way to the second-floor attending's lounge, hoping to catch up before she adorned those navy-blue scrubs she wore for years.
Her friend did seem genuinely regretful in her absence, despite her military and hospital commitments since she left after the crash. "Sorry I've not been out, Leo and Allison are a handful, and Owen isn't much better." There was a hint of sadness in her voice at the mention of her husband, Arizona was aware of the current situation so didn't press her. When Teddy didn't elaborate, she decided to change subject.
"Oh don't worry about it, I'm no better, I hardly leave the state now-a-days except for holidays. But when Miranda Bailey calls and says there's an emergency at Grey Sloan… You don't say no, right?"
Teddy nodded, indeed, no one said no to Miranda Bailey. "So, how are things at the centre? Last time we spoke you & Herman just launched a new fellowship initiative, how's that going?"
She finished the mouthful of coffee and nodded as she placed it down. "The centres great, we're growing every day. At the moment we're focused on training the doctors of tomorrow and expanding our fellowship program. We've got some great links abroad too; in the UK we're working closely with Guy's and St Thomas' & Evelina London Children's Hospital to better teach and educate doctors from across the world." She read off the points like it was no big deal.
"That's er, that's pretty impressive Arizona."
She knew it was, "Yeah, feels like we're really making a difference, Nicole says she's the face of 21st century women's health and I'm the talent in the background."
"The kids?"
Her face softened; she couldn't help that famous super magic smile. "Well, Sof is a typical fourteen year old, way, way too into boys for our liking." She scoffed. "And I can't imagine how Mark would find it. Tobias & Thomas live life at a hundred miles an hour and their obsession with heelies is real, no wonder Callie used to freak out all the time." She grimaced slightly; it may have been her who introduced her sons to the footwear. "It's a good thing their mother is the best orthopaedic surgeon on the planet. Rosa talks, a lot, she's so inquisitive and keeps her brothers in their place. And god does she look like Callie, if any of my girls pout I am done for." She took a final sip of her drink and threw the cup into the trash. "And Danielle's doing great, she's about to drop any day now."
Even after all this time, Teddy still couldn't completely get her head around her friend's set up. "Five children, Arizona Robbins I never thought I'd see the day."
"I know, I know, I never would have thought it either." There was genuine awe in her voice. "But I've got everything, everything I never knew I wanted Teddy; I'm living the dream I never knew I'd have." She paused as she took in her final thoughts, "I never thought I could be this happy, complete. You know?" It wasn't really a question. She did wonder if it was too much, considering her friend's situation, but she couldn't help it, it just flowed out.
What Teddy did know, is that only one thing could really make Arizona feel complete. "And Callie?"
She sighed, completely and utterly contented. When she left for New York seven years ago she didn't think in her wildest dreams that they'd reconcile. It was in the back of her mind sure, but she had completely locked away any genuine hope, it was a mere fairytale. But then one night, a couple of months after she'd settled, out of the blue, they talked. And I mean talked, for hours, over the phone. It wasn't dawn until dusk, it was a Friday night until Sunday afternoon, the conversation only ending because Sofia was due back from a school trip. Then they continued to talk, in person, via the phone, email, text messages… and then one day, Callie took the plunge, asked her out on a date and here we are, four more kids and two more rings (she was still working on the chickens). "My wife is still the most miraculous woman I've ever met."
Teddy had already rolled her eyes at the contented sigh, of course her friend couldn't think about Callie without drifting off into some hazed-like fog. It was the same on FaceTime. Still, she was genuinely happy for them both, they had been through so much, but the halls of Grey Sloan talked, and they knew her friends were destinated to be together. "Pleased to hear it, I was fed up of your moping attitude before you reunited."
"Theodora!" She was pushing her luck but wanted to deflect from that time of her life. She lent back and crossed her legs with a wry smile. "Now come on, fill me more in the drama here, Chief Altman."
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"Dr Robbins, good to have you back, staying long?"
Arizona was adjusting her lab coat after completing post-ops with the interns and offering some final words of advice. It had been securely locked away in a visitor's locker (she was disappointed both her and Callies old ones were in use) but she did have to check the contents in the left pocket several times before her heart calmed. She turned and saw her friend. Her friend who had picked her up when she was down and offered some poignant parting words at April's wedding along with the redhead.
'You know what is a catastrophe is that every time I get a text from Callie, I smile.'
'Why is that a catastrophe? I'm sorry. I was eavesdropping.'
'Because she left me. I mean, 'cause she left me, and then she left me again, but it was worse, because that time she took my daughter, and what? I mean, now because she's single and I'm single? No. No, no, no. No one has ever, in the history of my life, hurt me like Callie.'
'I hear that, but, also, no one's ever hurt Matthew the way I hurt him when I left him at the altar.'
'Well, I-I hurt Catherine pretty badly once or twice. Nothing like leaving her at the altar.'
'People change, you know, and life changes us, and our one job, really our only job is to stay open to possibilities, right? I mean, it's not stupid. It's not a catastrophe that Callie's making you smile again.'
'I agree. Actually, uh, that's pretty beautiful.'
"No, just one night, got to get back to the wife and kids." She walked up to Richard and brought him in for a close hug. It was full of warmth, she had hugged a few people within these walls since her brief visit but for some reason, Richard's felt soft, reassuring, hopeful. They both pulled back, before they got into niceties, the blonde had to get something off her chest. "I'm sorry you know, for Dr Minnick, I should have been more supportive of you. I think at the time I just needed someone to feel the void. Meaningless sex is okay, but I wanted more, I was lonely. So I latched onto her, at the expense of our friendship and a very good doctor in Dr Edw-"
He was shaking his head as soon as 'sorry' was uttered, but he couldn't stop Arizona mid-rant, no one could. "You don't have to apologise Arizona, I know there was no malice in your actions. I know you missed Torres, no matter how angry you got and denied it."
She admitted defeat with that comment. "Well, when you've had the best Ortho surgeon, none of the others compare."
He wrapped his right arm around her shoulder. "Do you have time for coffee?"
"Absolutely I do."
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Arizona had changed from her hospital gear to her street clothes as she located Bailey in yet another attending's lounge. They had spoken about the case & the interns so were ending on personal updates before she left. She was headed to the Altman/Hunt household for dinner.
"You did good Robbins, think those interns might actually become good doctors one day. Do I send Dr Herman a thank you card for allowing me to borrow your services?"
She rolled her eyes. "Nicole will say you can keep me, she never changes."
As she looked up, reflecting in the light, Bailey caught the sight of a familiar charm which hung around Arizona's neck. "See you found your neckless, wondered where that had gotten too. It's what? Ten years old? You'da thought Torres woulda splashed out on some new jewellery by now."
She mocked offence, but was also kinda hurt, kinda. "Hey! Fifteen years actually. And anyway, these are from our first Valentines Day together, the first piece of jewellery I bought anyone, and anyone bought me." She started to fiddle with it, it always brought her a sense of comfort. "It means a lot to me; it was in my lab coat with my other jewellery."
"Mmm hmm, you do seem to have a pretty hefty collection of gold and platinum on your ring finger too, surprised they let you through customs with that amount of precious metal."
Ah yes, she always loved to show off and talk about her rings. She held up her left hand and provided a breakdown. "This one's an eternity ring, we swapped during our wedding ceremony, sits nicely next to my engagement and wedding rings, don't you think?" She was giddy, perky.
"Don't you think that makes you a bit left-side heavy?"
"Well in case you didn't notice, I have slightly less weight on the left side of my body so…" she noticed Bailey's face drop but her tone was light. "…Callie can keep buying me rings until I even out."
Bailey hadn't blushed this much since she was announced as BCB. "Dr Robbins!" But Arizona just winked, making her former Chief squirm was fun. Noting there wasn't a single hint of annoyance in her voice. "So, how's married life treating you? Callie and the kids doing well?"
"It's amazing, awesome in fact. We've been federally married for five years this year. I was hoping to take her away but with baby number five on the way we'll probably wait. Mum offered to babysit but I don't think it's fair to leave my parents with a six month old as well as Sof, the hurricane twins and little miss wide-eyed-wonder."
Bailey repeated near enough the same words Teddy had earlier. "Four kids and one on the way. Arizona Robbins, you've come a long way from the perky, fresh-faced attending who rolled in on those ridiculous shoes all those years ago."
"Well, I promised Callie ten kids but five is a good compromise, although I'm already getting a little itchy wanting a sixth, is that bad?"
"Your fifth hasn't even dropped yet Robbins! And by the way, a fourteen-year-old, two four year olds, a two year old and one on the way? You're both crazy!"
"I know but you can never have enough mini-Calliope's."
"You've always been a sucker for her."
"You have no idea."
"How's her job? Last time we spoke she was knee deep in clinical trials."
"Well she keeps getting published for her prosthetics research, honestly I can't keep up. She's been speaking with the US miliary, the US Paralympic committee, PTSD support groups…" She knew she wasn't too supportive of her work in the early days, but truth is Callie was giving people their lives back and helping them adjust to new lives. Whatever route each individual wanted to go down. She was so proud of her wife, and loved her and her innovations more and more each day. "We're busy, but we make it work, we're at a point where we can both run our own schedules, depending on the time of year anyway." She smiled, "Means whilst the kids are at school and Rosa is napping, we can partake in some extracurricular activities. And we do, a lot, I mean not just at home either but in our off-"
"Arizona Robbins do not finish that sentence; I know very well what you and Dr Torres get up to."
They continued to sit and talk for a while, Arizona filling her in about New York life and Bailey spoke about Ben, Tuck & Pru and the women's clinic. They had also covered the awkward subject of Alex Karev and the upsetting death of Andrew De Luca. Meredith had kept them both in the loop, but if the general surgeon didn't understand Alex's motives, no one would.
"I can't believe he did it, that's just not him at all."
Bailey let out a rueful sigh. "Well, you know he had a messed up childhood, think he was on a one track mind of looking after his kids, something he lost out on and didn't want his to suffer."
Arizona wasn't convinced, she knew Alex, this wasn't him, but she couldn't offer a reason if she thought about it for a thousand years. "I guess, but just to leave Jo by a letter?"
"I know, it's been hard for her, but I think she's moved on, she's become a great doctor despite it all."
"I'm sorry to hear about Andrew too. God I cried when Mer told us."
"Yes, we've all learnt lessons from his death, we didn't take him at his word and instead looked for excuses rather than following the facts." Her head lowered. "It's something we'll never get over."
She nodded, whilst Arizona knew the details about Andrew, she never heard about his sister. "How's erm, How's Carina?"
Bailey's eyes did lighten up at the sound of her friend. "Carina's good, married now to a firefighter at Station 19."
The blonde was genuinely relieved. "Good, she deserves happiness."
They finished up, Arizona grabbed her luggage that housed everything for her overnight stay, and the gifts she had brought from New York. She'd also sent one of the interns out for five identical Space Needle figures, one for each kid right? Even if one wasn't quite here yet.
"Well, it was good to have you back, Robbins, don't you or Torres be a stranger."
They pulled each other in for a final hug. "We won't be, this place is where we started."
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Before her dinner with Owen and Teddy, Arizona had one stop to make. A stop she had made solo a few times prior to her departure seven years ago, but it had remained their little secret.
She reached for her purse and withdrew a small photo frame. It was waterproofed of course, (it was Seattle after all) and the glass was anti-reflective to slow down any fading. She had provided Bailey with additional copies of the same photo and asked if she could replace it every three or so months. It may have been excessive, but the photo was important to their family. Bailey had of course agreed. She propped it up and placed down the flowers and handwritten note from Sofia, which she had laminated.
"Hey you, long time no see, how have you been?" She gently traced her fingers across the stone in front of her. "I trust you're looking after Lexie and not hitting on all the ladies around you?" She stood there a while, hair blowing in the breeze, trying to steady her heart. "She's beautiful, she looks so much like Callie but as she's getting older, I can see those Sloan genes". There was a time, prior to her birth, that the thought of her daughter resembling her father made her twinge, but now she was so grateful she could see him in her. "She has your eyes when she smiles, like really smiles… She has that Torres pout of course, that will never change; but her eyes, her eyes, they're mirrors of yours." She recalled the image of Sofia riding her new bike a few years ago, both her and Callie briefly froze when they noticed their daughter's eyes, familiar eyes that took their breath away. "We talk about you all the time, we make sure she knows how much you loved her, that time you went psycho at Alex when we were at a conference and how you were learning Spanish. We tell her that…" tears that had formed were dabbed away by a tightly grasped tissue "…that her daddy loved- loves her with all that he has. That she was your last thoughts. She and Callie say a prayer for you every night, even now. I join in sometimes, I mean I'm always there, but I can't always say the words." It was true, she always found it hard to express her emotions. "I say it's because of the Catholic thing but sometimes, I-I just can't find my voice, I know if I speak I'll cry. And I promised you, I promised you with everything I had on that mountain side that I would look after them." She exhaled and looked to the sky, frustrated with herself. "At one point I failed, I failed hard, I lost my way, in a way that if you were here… I wouldn't have. God I lost so many years, too many, but I'm making up for it now, I promise you I am looking after them." She could just see him now, rolling his eyes, telling her to 'man up' or 'go get laid' to ease the tension. She decided to take what would have no doubt been his advice. "You know we named one of our sons after you right? Gave him your name as his middle name? The crazy thing is, it was my idea! Not even Callie's." She suddenly recalled the other naming issue. "And the hospital! They named the hospital after you, and well Little Grey of course." She could just see his cocky face. "Yeah, yeah, don't be smug."
After some quiet reflection and filling him in on the latest Grey Sloan gossip, she kissed her right hand and placed it on the gravestone in front of her, allowing it to linger. Before wiping away some additional tears, she bent down and straightened the photo she had just placed. The one of her, Callie, Mark & Sofia at Sofia's welcome home party. The same one that they have in their living room at home, the same one in Sofia's bedroom and the same one both she and Callie have in their respective offices at work.
"I miss you; I love you Mark, I'll give Sof an extra big hug and kiss when I get back."
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Dinner with the Hunts(?) was nice, it seemed the air of tension had lifted, even if just for the evening. They swapped the usual stories, some a repeat of earlier for Owen's benefit. She was tired though, she had been on her feet for the majority of the day and apart from shooting off the odd text, she hadn't spoken to the one person she wanted. She settled down in her hotel bed, shower had, prosthetic off, teeth brushed. She looked at her phone, 10pm, she was three hours behind making it… 1am in New York.
Before she could finish her thoughts, a FaceTime call flashed up, the caller's picture instantly wiped away any feelings of tiredness. Her heart fluttered as she answered.
"Hey you."
Her reply soft. "Hey yourself." God, she was so happy. "How are the kids?"
Callie was clearly settled in bed (damn she wished she was there), herbal tea clutched tight in her free hand. "They miss their mumma of course, they all went down without fuss though, except from Sof who insisted on listening to, and singing along with, Taylor Swift until late." She arched an eyebrow as Arizona beamed. "You know we have a new album to shell out for in addition to those re-releases? I'm starting to think she does have your DNA."
"Our daughter's a Swiftie, Calliope, I can't help her impeccable taste."
"She won't even let me listen or dance with her," she pouted. "Says I don't know all the words like you." An offended scoff followed. "I know Shake it Off!"
"Everyone knows Shake it Off, Calliope." As she laughed at her wife's reaction, Arizona couldn't help but feel… Honoured? Embarrassed? Loved? That she was getting to speak to Callie that night. "I didn't know if you'd still be up, its 1am there."
As if it was obvious (even more obvious that 'am I your girlfriend' 'yeah' 'good') the brunette's pearly white smile brightened the screen. "Of course I would be, I wanted to see you, I miss you." There go those butterflies again. "How was everyone?"
"Well, Richard looks well, Teddy has enough drama going on to make us look boring, Bailey's kicking ass being in charge of the interns."
"Does she still have those five rules?"
"Oh you know it."
"And, erm…"
She knew. "Mark was good, cocky obviously, I told him Tobias' middle name was Marcus, and that the hospital was named after him."
"Yeah, I can just hear him gloating."
"That reminds me, I need to give Sof an extra big kiss and hug from him tomorrow." They continued to chat, both still remembered how their reconciliation started with a simple, inconspicuous chat, one night long ago.
'Hey, where can I get a red zipper? Mine broke off my dress.'
'There's a good tailors down sixth, I'm that way tomorrow, I can pick it up?'
'That would be great thank you. It's for-'
'The red dress?'
'The very same.'
'I always loved that on you."
'I know…'
Arizona continued. "I heard from Mer by the way, she wasn't at the hospital but she said she & the kids will visit once the baby's born."
"Yeah she mentioned about a visit a few days ago. I suggested maybe we could all get away for a few days, take the kids to the beach somewhere, once Nuggie is bigger."
She rolled her eyes. That name. Again! "Calliope Torres, you have to get out of this habit of calling our unborn child, 'Nuggie'."
"What? You started it with 'Nugget'."
"Nugget is cute! Nuggie sounds like a frat boy nickname!" She looked around at the vast amount of white cotton surrounding her. "It sucks being in a big empty bed alone, I miss my Calliope sized pillow and morning snuggles with the kids."
"We miss you too, but it's only for one night, right?"
She didn't really care how pathetic it came across; it was true, unbelievably true. "One night too many." To stop herself from crying, she changed tact. "How's Danielle? You spoken to her today?"
"She's good, she's got a check-up with Nuggie on Friday, I've added it to the cal-."
"Calliope Iphegenia Torres!"
"Hehe, yeeessss, Dr Robbins?"
Oh no, that husky tone. "Don't you dare Dr Torres."
"What?"
"You know very well what."
Her voice dipped and went even huskier, Arizona didn't think that was even possible. "I'm afraid I don't Dr Robbins, you'll have to enlighten me."
"Nope, no, nope, I'm hanging up, you can't… not when I'm here alone… nope."
"Oh come on, it's not like we haven't befo-"
There was only one way to get out of this. "Is your dad still planning a visit soon? Can't wait to see him, it's been a while, wonder if he still looks the same-"
Damn, that did it. She sulked. "Arizona! No fair."
That took the dirty thoughts right from Callie's mind, phew. She wanted her wife physically, not over a FaceTime chat. "Hmm, how about I make it up to you when I get home?"
"Is that a promise?"
Arizona was in love. "Every day for the rest of my life. I love you, Mrs Wife."
Callie was in love. "I love you too, Mrs Wife."
They were in love. None of the rest of it matters.