Hey friends! *Dodges flying tomato* Ok, so yeah, I probably deserved that. I'm so sorry for not posting like I should've been doing, but life has been pretty turned upside down for me lately, but I promise to post more! Thank you to everyone who is still supporting this journey with me, its been a long one (I'll tell you that much). Now please enjoy this chapter, it's a fluffy one :)! Please R&R!

*I own nothing*

Reviews:

Guest: I'm so sorry for not posting earlier, I promise to post more frequently. Thank you so much for your constant support :)!

Grumpy Bear88: By the way, I love your username! Thank you so much for supporting this story. I'm always trying to make my stories as real as I can possibly make them so that other people can better relate to them.

WARNING: Eating disorders will be played out and mentioned. Please do not read if this triggers or makes you uncomfortable in any way!

TMNT

Mikey loved the stars.

Ever since he was little, he was captivated by their light and sparkle. The sense of longing and belonging seemed to work clockwork, the stars knew, and Mikey knew. How those little stars brought so much hope, he never knew. But his brothers never stopped encouraging it, and it was a habit that had stayed with him.

Even in the hospital, Mikey would stare up at the stars at night. The machines would drown out, his breathing tube noise would soften, and the bed cloth would feel a little softer. It was always a surreal moment, its those moments that Mikey thinks he might be able to overcome his mental and physical illness.

It was one of these nights that Leo come walking into his room. It had been past nine, and even though visiting hours were over, Leo had convinced the staff to let him stay a little longer. The young teen had nothing to complain about, his older brothers always brought a sense of comfort with them.

Leo opened the door, carrying a tray of dessert, but stopped when he saw the familiar look in his little brothers eyes. It was that magical look that he had learned to adore.

"Their prettier tonight," Mikey whispered. He patted the space next to him, mentioning that he wanted his brothers love. Leo walked over and sat down; he embraced his little brother as Mikey leaned against his chest.

He looked up at the stars. Mikey was right, the stars seemed to shine brighter than the night before, the sense of peace seemed to settle within the room.

"Do you think Dad is watching us from up there?" Mikey asked softly as he played with the strings of his older brothers sweater.

That question caught Leo off guard, no one, especially Mikey, ever talked about their fathers death. It had been a sore spot in all their hearts, but times were changing, and Mikey was growing up.

Leo squeezed his brother. "Of course he is. I have no doubt that he is here with us right now."

"Then why do I still feel so lost?" Tears started to fall down the sick boys pale cheeks, "Why can't I feel him like you can? What am I doing wrong? If it's this illness, I'll get over it. But why can't I feel him, Leo? I need to feel him, I need to feel his love again!" Mikey started to shake, "Leo why can't I feel him?!"

The eldest brother shifted his position so that he could give a small kiss to Mikey's forehead. No words were exchanged, but there wasn't a need for any. The stars themselves said everything, every meaning, feeling.

There was a reason Mikey had started to watch them. And there was another reason why Mikey's brothers had started to join him.

"What if I'm not good enough?"

Leo turned his head to face his little brother. "Oh Otouto, of course you're good enough."

"Leo, look where we are. We're in a hospital because I'm mentally not well. I mean…I starved myself all because of a few mean words. I almost died because of my hurt feelings. How can dad be proud of all that?"

"That's the key word, almost," Leo hummed, "Dad loves us no matter what, believe or not, he also made mistakes in his life."

"Mistakes that worked out in the end?"

"Of course," Leo squeezed his brother a little tighter. "Because life changes constantly, and sometimes all we can do if make the best of our situation. We'll stumble and fall, but that safety net that guided us when we were little, must be lowered at some point in our lives."

Memories filled both of their heads, as they longed for that safe paradise once again. Ever since their father had passed, everything seemed to get harder. Leo found it harder to connect with his brothers like he once had, Raph couldn't see hope anymore, Donnie was to stuck in his logical paradise, and Mikey…Mikey had probably changed the most.

But in a way, it all worked like a puzzle. These troubling changes that they were all going through were all shaping them to be the ultimate 'them'. The ultimate price came from that gloom but hope as well.

Just how the stars changed, security changed. Safety changed, relationships changed, death's meaning changed. But love was constant, just how the stars always seemed to invite humans into their own personal world.

"Did you remember when you were little Mike?"

Mikey turned his head to face his older brother. "What moment specifically?"

"The moment where I caught you when you fell?"

"Well yeah," Mikey replied, "you made me a promise that day."

"I did," Leo sucked in a harsh breath, "but I failed. You fell Mikey and I didn't catch you."

This was a moment where Mikey couldn't bear it, he turned his head the other way. There was a part of him that knew that Leo was only saying this because he was the oldest, and the oldest always felt like it was their fault. But Mikey also knew that this was what Leo was truly feeling.

And he was really in no position to contradict what someone was feeling. If Leo would've said this a few months ago, maybe the young teen would've protested against the statement, but now…Mikey related to what his older brother said to him.

Because Mikey let himself fall without knowing if he would ever come back up again.

It wasn't Leo's fault, it was his.

"Leo," Mikey turned his head around, "can you look at me?" The eldest complied but the frown on his face was present.

"Your not perfect Leo, your not a god or someone who magically received a gift to be able to interpret how I feel. And if you did…I don't know if I wouldn't like it so much."

Leo eyes clenched together. "But I want to fix this, I want to fix you and your problems. I want to fix Raph being depressed, I want to fix Donnie's emotional attachment issues…and I want to fix the problems that I haven't been able to fix."

"You can't fix me Leo."

"BUT I WANT TO!" Leo's breaths were shallow, as tears started to fall down his cheeks. "You don't understand Mikey, you don't understand all the pain and horror you put us all through." He buried his head into Mikey's hair. "Every day seemed futile, the doctors lost hope, even I lost hope. It was scary, horrifying to know that you might never wake up again."

"Leo…" The young teen boy pointed to his star chart on the wall. "Look how far I've come; I'm eating and working out constantly and…I still have you guys." Mikey grabbed Leo's hand. "You guys never left me when I was the most vulnerable, and I don't plan on leaving you guys any time soon. You're all stuck with me."

Leo chuckled. "All no! The horror!" He put his hand on his forehead and leaned back. Mikey playfully slapped him on the shoulder as he reached over to look at the tray of dessert.

"What is this?" Mikey eyes widened. "What is that green stuff?"

"Behold, the new hybrid, spinach, and sweet cream rolls. It's actually not to bad once you get past the thought of spinach and sweet being in the same sentence."

Mikey sighed. "I don't like the idea of sweet."

"Come on," Leo urged, "you haven't had sweets since you've been in the hospital. And Oliver informed me on that 'little something' you've been doing since he's come to visit you."

"Please don't tell anyone!"

The eldest raised an eyebrow at the fear in his brothers voice. But little did his little brother know, the process was only beneficial on his behalf, and partially – emotionally anyway – for Mikey's benefit.

"I wouldn't." Leo replied, "But you know the rules."

"I know, I know. So, you're allowing me to do ten pushups if I eat this entire dessert?"

"Yup!"

"Ok," Mikey looked down at the dessert with distaste, but picked up the spoon regardless. He spooned a small amount of dessert into his mouth and nodded his head.

"You know, this isn't actually so bad."