To Have & to Hold Forever
This story is a sequel to "Sickness & Health, Good Times & Bad", along with other stories in the "Together Forever" Series. You don't have to read those stories first, but this story will make more sense if you do.
Brian and Justin are established partners, sharing custody of Gus and raising Brian's nephews.
I don't own the original QAF characters just the situations I create. No copyright infringement intended.
Chapter 18
Joan Kinney's body was clear of all alcohol. She had gone through detox and could hardly believe how different she felt. She had started attending group sessions and while she had not shared much, she did relate to much of what the other group members shared.
Meeting with her personal counselor helped her see how her whole life had set her up to feel inadequate and powerless. Instead of doing anything positive to improve her life Joan sought escape through alcohol. Initially Joan enjoyed the experience of motherhood but quickly felt unable to cope with the demands. She always knew she should get away from Jack but didn't want to face the disaster she had made of her life. More and more she escaped from reality by drinking.
Her counselor encouraged her to work the 12 steps, but Joan was having trouble with asking forgiveness from people she had hurt. Joan was too frightened to approach Brian. She knew how badly she had let him down, had hurt him and she doubted he could ever forgive her.
The main thing Joan realized was that Brian didn't need her. She was alone in the world and Brian was surrounded by people who cared about him. Joan was intimidated by both Jennifer and Justin Taylor; they were the type of people Joan had envied and feared her entire life. They did not feel inadequate or powerless. She realized how much they loved Brian and would do anything to protect him.
Joan thought about Claire and found her feelings of guilt almost overwhelming. Somehow Brian had overcome his childhood trauma, but Claire never did. She was carrying it on to the next generation. Joan owned up to the fact that John and Peter being removed from Claire's custody happened in the nick of time.
Joan called Claire at the prison, confessed all her faults and failings and asked for her daughter's forgiveness. Claire's complete refusal of her apology and the extreme venom she hurled back at her stunned Joan. After the call when Joan realized she couldn't dispute anything Claire had said, she came close to running out of the building and finding the closest liquor store, but she had stayed.
Joan knew that Jack had never abused Claire to the extent that he abused Brian. She felt it was even more unlikely that Brian could ever forgive her.
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Michael had the town car deliver him to his mother's house. He was determined to find out what she knew about the battle for Gus's custody. He hurried up the steps and opened the front door without knocking. The blinds were drawn so the living room was shadowy; the only light came from the archway to the kitchen. It took Michael a minute to see Debbie lying on the couch.
"MA! What do you know about Brian trying to get custody of Gus? What about JR? Why didn't you say anything to me?"
Debbie sat up on the couch.
"Wow. You sure are full questions today. Ted came last night and told me what Justin and Brian were going to do. They didn't want it to become common knowledge before the papers got delivered to Melanie."
Michael's voice rose in volume.
"Common knowledge! Brian is my best friend. He should have told me. What about JR, has he considered how this will affect her. He should have discussed this with me. You should have told him to talk to me. What the fuck were you thinking?"
Joe suddenly appeared from the kitchen.
"Michael calm down! Debbie has been really upset by this custody thing. Her blood pressure is too high! The doctor at urgent care says she has to rest or she could have a stroke. He gave her some pills to help. You need to lower your voice and stop interrogating her."
A shocked Michael turned to Joe.
"Hey kid, you don't get to tell me what to do in my own home. You're a guest here, behave yourself."
"No Michael, this is NOT your home. Your home is with your husband or at least that should be your home. This is Debbie's home and Carl's home and MY home. You are the guest here. You are a grown man, start acting like one. Your mother is not here to solve all your problems. It is time for you to take responsibility for your own fucking life."
Debbie stood up in front of Michael.
"Joe is right Michael. I have been upset about how Melanie has been treating Gus. You must have heard the same things from JR as I have. She talks about Gus having to watch her and how he gets in trouble if she does something wrong.
Brian and Justin have no choice. I should have said something to them, but I wasn't sure if they were able to take on caring for Gus. They have so much going on in their life. I was a fool to think that. Brian and Justin would do anything for Gus."
"Brian hasn't considered JR. He should have talked to me before he tried to get custody of Gus. It's like he didn't even think about how this would affect my daughter."
Debbie sat back down on the couch and Joe came over and sat beside her. He put his arm around her shoulders. Debbie looked up at her son.
"Michael, JR is your daughter, she is your responsibility. If you have any issues with how Mel and Linds are raising her, YOU need to talk to them. Brian and Justin have been very generous with JR. They pay for her school, they make sure she gets the same amount of Christmas presents as their son. The support they have paid has helped support your daughter and they have minded her several times.
What have you done for Gus? What have you even done for your own daughter? Mel seems to be treating Gus differently because he is Brian's son, hell he is almost his clone. JR is not dealing with the same situation as Gus."
"Ma, we have to go talk to Brian about this whole custody thing. We have to get this straightened out before things go too far."
Debbie shook her head.
"Jen drove me to the boys' house today. I wanted to be sure they knew I supported their decision. You need to stay out of this, Gus's custody has nothing to do with you."
"Brian needs to pay for a lawyer so I can get custody of JR. He can't just leave me out of this custody battle. That is why I have to talk to him before this goes too far."
Debbie sighed.
"Michael, you are my son and I fucking love you so much but, you are not in a position to get custody of JR. Who would take care of her? You and Ben both work fulltime. You don't ever seem to have extra money and kids cost money. Honey you have to be realistic about JR's custody. You need to leave Brian out of this, he has enough on his plate without you harassing him."
"She is your granddaughter. You could mind her while we work. Brian has lots of money, he could help us with JR's expenses."
Debbie just shook her head and started to cry. Joe stood up and went to the front door and opened it.
"Michael go home NOW! Can't you see how upset Debbie is? Your daughter's custody is YOUR problem not Debbie's and certainly not Brian's. Get out before you give your mother a stroke."
Carl was just coming up the front steps when Joe opened the door. Joe had texted him about Debbie's high blood pressure.
Michael started to argue with Joe just as Carl walked in the house. He glanced at Debbie and looked at Joe who rolled his eyes. Carl walked over to Michael.
"Shut up and get out of this house before I throw you out the front door."
"You can't order me…"
Carl grabbed Michael by the shoulder and started him toward the door. Michael turned back to his mother.
"MA! Tell him to let go of me."
"Michael just go home. I can't fucking deal with you today. You aren't thinking straight."
Carl continued to the door with a firm grip on Michael's shoulder. He shoved him through the door which Joe firmly shut and turned the deadbolt. A confused Michael found himself on the porch before he knew what happened. He turned to go back in the house but heard the deadbolt click into place.
He had little choice but to start home. Maybe Ben would have some idea how to proceed with getting custody of JR. The more he thought about the more Michael liked the idea of him and Brian both having custody of their kids. That would mean they would spend lots more time together.
Carl sat on the couch and held Debbie while she sobbed. Joe went into the kitchen to make her a cup of herbal tea. He was still trying to figure out what was wrong with Michael.
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Brian watched John and Gus kick the soccer ball back & forth with a smile on his face. John kicked the ball softly and offered hints to Gus to improve his control and aim. Gus was thrilled to have John's full attention on him, he listened carefully to John's suggestions and did his best to follow them. When John praised his efforts Gus's grin went ear to ear. When John made a new suggestion Gus's face showed his determination to accomplish what John asked.
Brian kept glancing up at the patio and observed his Sunshine chatting with Peter and laughing. Justin got up once to settle one of the babies in the bassinet. As he turned back to his chair Justin saw Brian looking up at him. He gave a quick wave with a big sunshine smile on his face. Brian couldn't help smiling back.
Brian looked around him. He couldn't help chuckling. This was NOT the life he ever envisioned for himself. He had often said he would not be in a monogamous relationship; he would never live in the suburbs; he had no interest in being a father. Brian chuckled again at what a stupid jackass he had been, of course who could have ever foreseen an unstoppable force like Justin Taylor turning his world upside down.
Once the soccer game stopped, Gus ran up to the patio and climbed into Papa's lap. Justin gave him a kiss on the top of his head.
"Did you have fun playing with John Little Man?"
That was all it took to launch Gus in a monolog about kicking the soccer ball with Daddy and John. Justin kept his arms around Gus who leaned back against him as he related his soccer adventures. Peter looked over with a smile.
By the time John & Brian wandered up onto the patio Lily and Liam were starting to signal they were ready for a bottle. Peter said he would go warm up the bottles. Since Justin was tied up, Brian and John each grabbed a baby to take into the house and get their diapers changed.
Gus's soccer story ran down.
"Let's go in the house Papa. I like to watch Lily and Liam drink their bottles. It's so fun to be here all the time. There is always something to see and do. Can Kevin come over tomorrow to play?"
Justin laughed at the Kevin request thrown in at the end. He told Gus he would call Kevin's mommy and see what he could arrange. He reminded Gus that the twins had a doctor's appointment the next day. Kevin's visit probably wouldn't be tomorrow. Gus held Papa's hand as they walked into the house.
After the baby feeding Brian and Gus headed downstairs for some train time. Justin put Liam and Lily down for a nap in the nursery before taking the baby monitor to his studio. He gave Roxanne a call and she suggested Gus come to her house for a playdate and Justin agreed.
Gus being at the O'Brien's the next day solved the issue of who would watch him while Brian and Justin took the babies to their appointment. Gus was a little disappointed not to go along on the doctor appointment but the prospect of a playdate with Kevin was a more than adequate compensation.
The next day after breakfast Brian and Justin had the twins clean and dressed and strapped into their car seats. Gus's booster seat was fastened between the car seats. He amused his fathers by talking to his brother and sister on the ride to O'Briens' house. He assured them that there was nothing to be nervous about that the doctor was a good person and just wanted to "check them out". He told Lily & Liam that he loved them and would give them hugs and kisses when they were all back home.
In the front seat Brian looked over at Justin with a smile. He wasn't surprised to see a tear run down Justin's check although he had a full-blown sunshine smile. Brian rolled his eyes. Both men chuckled when Gus sang a song to his siblings "to relax them".
When they pulled up in front of the house, an excited Kevin ran out to greet them. He was anxious to get a look at his "cousins" Liam and Lily. The twins got kisses from both Kevin and Gus. Roxanne came out to say hello and get a look at the babies.
Justin put Gus's booster seat in the back of the SUV so he could sit between the car seats for the trip to the city.
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Melanie had a couple out of office appointments in the morning and used that opportunity for a side trip to Washington Township. She drove up the driveway, determined to confront Brian and take Gus with her.
John and Peter were in the media room. Alice came to the door.
"You two should go outside and get the stink blown off you. It's too nice a day to sit in this dark room. I have to go over to the cottage for a few minutes."
The boys laughed but decided it probably was too nice a day to spend inside. They finished their game before shutting off the TV. As they walked through the entrance hall the doorbell rang.
John went over to answer the door. Melanie stood on the front steps. She pushed past John and shouted Brian's name.
John looked over at his brother, an exasperated look on his face.
"Uncle Brian and Uncle Justin aren't at home. You have no right to be here, you need to leave."
Melanie turned to John.
"Where are they?"
"That is none of your business. Just get out!"
Melanie called Brian's name again.
"I want to see Gus."
John shook his head.
"Gus isn't home either. Listen, only Peter and I are home. You need to leave; you can't just burst in here uninvited."
"I don't believe you. I'm going to search this house."
Alice came back through the patio doors and heard what was happening. She started towards the entrance hall and saw a concerned looking Peter standing there unsure what to do.
John moved in front of Melanie and when she started around him, he put out his arms.
"You have no right to be in this house. You need to leave now, or Peter will call the sheriff. You're supposed to be a lawyer so you must know you are trespassing."
Melanie raised her hand to slap John just as Alice arrived and hurried over to stand beside John.
"Lady you better put that arm down. If not, I'll knock you on your ass. You may be younger than me, but I've done farm work all my life.
How dare you come here unannounced and unwelcome. No one is in the house except the boys and me. It is none of your concern where Brian and Justin are or where their children are. We are not deceitful people like you are."
"Gus is my son! How dare you say I am deceitful. I am not the one trying to steal a child from its mothers."
Alice gave a short bitter laugh.
"You tried to sneak out of town like a thief in the night. That was deceitful so that is why I say you are a deceitful person. You tried to take Gus away from all the people who love him. That was not for Gus's benefit that was for your own selfish motives. You can't bullshit me.
I know just who and what you are Melanie Marcus! I know you are not a good mother to Gus. You don't make him feel safe and loved! You come here and raise your hand to an innocent boy. It is plain to me that you are a selfish bitch and if you don't leave this house and property immediately; I will call the sheriff and have you arrested for trespassing.
I will personally call the law firm you work for and let them know about the arrest. That will just help the already strong custody case that Brian and Justin have. I am also going to let Jennifer know that you came here today. I'm sure she'll find some way to punish you. She is very resourceful. When I tell her, you tried to hit one of her grandsons, she will NOT be happy. You have ten seconds to get off this property or I call the sheriff."
Melanie hated that she felt intimidated by Alice just like she did by Jennifer. She thought of herself as a strong woman, but she felt she wasn't in the same league as those two. She quickly left the house.
Alice asked the boys to be sure she left the property. They went out front to watch leave the driveway and head back towards Pittsburgh. When they reported back; Alice pushed the button to close the gate. She made sure John & Peter were okay before they continued outside.
As soon as she was alone Alice called Jennifer who was, as she expected, furious about Melanie's visit.
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The doctor appointment couldn't have gone better. The pediatrician was pleased with Liam and Lily. Justin had a huge smile on his face as the doctor pronounced the babies were meeting or exceeding all their milestones. Brian was also happy to hear the doctor pronounce his son and daughter perfect. He was also pleased with how happy his Sunshine was with the visit.
The fly in the ointment was the shots the twins received. Justin did his best to sooth them. Brian looked grim because he couldn't bear to see his children hurt. He knew it was necessary but that didn't make it any easier for him like it any better.
The babies were a little fussy on the drive home and kept Justin busy sitting between them in the middle seat. Brian gripped the steering wheel but did chuckle a couple times at the silly songs Justin sang to Lily and Liam.
By the time they pulled up at the O'Brien home Justin decided that the twins were hungry as well as unhappy from their shots. Justin hung the diaper bag over his shoulder and he and Brian each grabbed a baby before walking up to the door.
Rozanne opened the door for the two fathers and the screaming babies. Gus and Kevin came running to the front door.
Gus looked up at his frazzled fathers and unhappy sibling before turning to Kevin.
"Lily and Liam aren't happy. Let's try singing them a song. Sometimes that makes them happier."
Roxanne took the diaper bag from Justin and grabbed two bottles. She went to the kitchen to microwave them.
Gus started to sing, and Kevin cheerfully joined in. The three adults were surprised and amused when Liam and Lily did quiet down. Gus interrupted the song to ask if he and Kevin could feed the twins. Justin smiled and said they could.
"Lily and Liam may be a little fussy while they have their bottles. They had to get a couple shots at the doctor's office."
Gus's big eyes filled with tears.
"Are Liam and Lily sick Papa? Why did they have to get shots, they are so little. Did it hurt them?"
Justin smiled at his oldest son.
"No Gus. They aren't sick. Babies have to get shots, so they won't get sick. You know shots are quick so they don't hurt much."
Gus looked doubtful but was no longer tearful. He and Kevin got into baby feeding position on two chairs in the family room. Justin gave Liam to Gus and Brian gave Lily to Kevin. Lily started to fuss so Brian stayed by the chair. Liam looked up at Gus with wide open eyes. Justin knew it was too early for Liam to recognize his big brother, but he did seem very content in Gus's arms.
Gus and Kevin carried on a one-sided conversation with the babies as they fed them. Roxanne took a few photos of Kevin who was totally concentrated on feeding Lily. Brian did burping duty before settling his daughter in Kevin's lap for the last half of her bottle. Justin did the same for Liam.
While the last half of the feeding was happening, Roxanne asked to talk to Justin. He followed her out to the back porch.
Roxanne smiled at Justin.
"I wanted to let you that Gus told Kevin and I that he was going to live with you and Brian. He was very excited and of course Kevin was thrilled. Greg told me about the custody challenge last night.
We both want you to know that we are ready, willing and able to testify for you and Brian. You are two of the most loving, accepting people we have ever met. I admire you so much for how you took in John and Peter and have been so sensational to them.
I know John is like Brian and doesn't talk a lot about his feelings, but he tells Patrick all the time how great the uncles are to him. All four of us love you and Brian so much and are so grateful for your friendship. We would be delighted to help your custody case any way we can."
Justin pulled Roxanne in a hug.
"Thank you so much. We value your friendship and we love Patrick and Kevin. Brian is very upset about this whole custody thing so thanks for not bringing it up on front of him. I'm not sure how this is all going to play out, but I appreciate your offer more than I can say."
They went back into the family room. Brian looked over and Justin gave him a smile. When the bottles were done, the Taylor-Kinney contingent started for home.
Brian and Justin were surprised to see the gate closed but didn't say anything in front of Gus. Brian entered the code and Gus found it exciting to see the gate open for them. His fathers were feeling nervous about why the gate was closed.
When they got in the house Alice gave them a look and Brian nodded at her. Justin put his hand on Gus's shoulder.
"Hey Little Man, I have to check on a few things in the studio. Want to come up and help me."
Gus happily agreed and the two of them went up the back stairs. Brian got the twins settled in their bassinet before going out to the kitchen to find out from Alice what was going on.
Alice quickly told Brian about Melanie's visit. She could see how furious he was but outwardly he remained calm. Once Alice gave him the details, she said she would keep her eye on Liam and Lily.
Brian walked down to the study and called Anabel. He let her know about Melanie's surprise visit. Anabel said she would send a paralegal to take depositions from Alice, John and Peter and hopefully they could get a restraining order for Melanie.
Anabel still felt that that Gus's custody case was close to a slam dunk. She thought Mel's latest actions helped the case since she acted so unprofessionally. Brian said he hoped Anabel was correct. He checked his Kinnetik emails before walking back to the family room. Alice was working in the kitchen and the twins were still sound asleep.
Alice looked over at Brian.
"Liam and Lily haven't stirred. I think they are probably worn out by their busy day."
Brian smiled as he looked down at his son and daughter.
"They were really good on the trip up to the Pitts and in the doctor's office. They did not enjoy getting shots and were fussy coming back in the car. They were cranky when we got to the O'Briens, but Sonny Boy and Kevin sang to them and they quieted down.
I know they aren't supposed to recognize people yet, but Sunbeam and Princess really seem to know their big brother and respond to him. Gus is pretty thrilled that they quiet down when he sings to them. Actually, their Papa and I are pretty thrilled by that too."
Alice chuckled.
"I have always thought babies are fascinated by children. It's like they know those little people are more like them than adults. Gus really loves being a big brother to Lily and Liam. He is not the least bit jealous. You and Justin are doing an excellent job of spending time with him and making him feel important.
I know you hate these type of conversations but you and Justin are wonderful parents. You have done so much for John and Peter. You have always made sure Gus is taken care of and I can see how much you and Justin love these new babies. You are a good man Brian Kinney."
An embarrassed Brian didn't say anything, but he came out to the kitchen and gave Alice a kiss on the cheek. A few moments later Gus and Justin appeared from the back stairs. Peter and John came through the patio doors. The boys went over to get a look at the twins.
Gus suggested some time in the pool might be a good idea and everyone agreed. They all went upstairs to change into swimsuits.
When John got to this room, his cell phone rang. He quickly looked and saw it was Claire calling. He answered and his mother launched into a tirade about Joan calling her. She told John that his grandmother was in rehab. Claire told John that Joan had asked for her forgiveness, but she had not given it.
John suggested that maybe his mother could have met Grandmother halfway. He mentioned that his mother knew how hard it was to admit to being wrong and treating your children badly. That passed over Claire's head and after complaining about her mother for a few more minutes Claire ended the call.
John wasn't sure what he should do with this news. Should he tell Uncle Brian? If he told Uncle Justin, he felt like Uncle Brian would know something was up. Their connection was neat to observe but could be annoying at times.
John couldn't trust Peter not to discuss this news with his "Papa" who he felt had the answers to everything. Also annoying!
John decided he would call Grandmom Jen and ask what she thought about Claire's call. Jennifer was surprised to hear that Joan was in rehab at Allegheny General. She suggested John keep the information to himself until Jennifer visited or talked to Joan. After she talked with Joan, Jennifer would call John and they could decide how to proceed. John thought that was a good plan. He thanked Grandmom Jen for her help and told her that he loved her. After he hung up John thought maybe Uncle Justin learned all the answers to everything from his mother. Grandmom Jen was someone you could really depend on.
Jennifer put her phone back on the end table next to the couch and turned to Tucker who was pulling his sweatpants back on.
Tucker smiled at Jennifer.
"So, an intermission in our day of romance."
Jennifer leaned over to kiss him as she tightened the belt of her robe.
"Sorry Darling. I need to make a couple calls. Claire called John to tell him Joan has gone into rehab. She called Claire to apologize but Claire refused to accept it. Joan has treated Brian much worse than Claire why wouldn't she have contacted him to apologize?"
"Maybe she realizes how badly she's treated him and started with the easier child. Of course, she may still have her religious fervor and still considers Brian a sinner. I don't even want to try and understand how Joan Kinney thinks."
Jennifer chuckled. One of her agents had a brother who worked in a rehab center. Jennifer called the agent to see if she could find out how to arrange calling or visiting someone in rehab. She found out it wasn't easy to arrange.
Finally, Jennifer decided to call the rehab at AGH. She left a message for Joan Kinney's counselor and said that Jennifer's grandson, John Kinney, found out that his grandmother was in rehab. Since John was also Jennifer's grandson, he called her to try and find out what was going on with his grandmother since he was concerned about her.
She was somewhat surprised when she got a return call about an hour after she left her message. The counselor started out by saying that he knew Jennifer was not John Kinney's grandmother. He wondered if John had actually called her.
Jennifer explained her complicated family relationships and the counselor actually laughed. He said that he had heard a lot of "stories" over the years, but Jennifer's was in a class by itself and he suspected it was true. He said he would have to discuss her request with Joan and get back to her.
Jennifer thanked him and said she looked forward to hearing back from him.
The other situation occupying Jennifer's mind, at the moment, was the arrival of her mother next week. There had several unpleasant conversations with her sister before her mother overheard one. She forbid Kate to call Jennifer again and reminded her she was an adult who would do whatever she wanted to do. Just as she had done for her entire life. Kate started to teply but her mother told her she wasn't interested in whatever Kate had to say. The calls stopped; the trip arrangements remained the unchanged.
Since there wasn't anything to be done about wither issue at the moment, Jennifer undid her robe and Tucker pulled off his sweatpants. The intermission was over.