Cartoon All-Star Royal Rumble II
Rated T for Language and Violence
Summary: 160 animated characters from all of your favorite cartoons compete in the sequel to the most intense battle royal gauntlet in professional wrestling ever! Get ready for a lot of blood, sweat, tears and a whole lot of broken bones as they fight for more than a million dollars, folks!
Disclaimer: I do not own any of these cartoon characters, nor do I own any of the franchises they are from, period. I sure as heck don't own anything related to Disney, Nickelodeon, Cartoon Network, Warner Bros., Fresh TV, MTV, Comedy Central, Hasbro, Mattel, Mirage Studios, Hanna-Barbera, Starz Media, ZAG Heroez, Netflix or FOX either. So yep, let's just leave it at that.
P.S.: I also wanted to remind everyone that The Amazing Ghost Musician will also be helping me out with this story also, so he also deserves a lot of the credit too. Okay, where was I? Oh, yeah. On with the story!
Chapter 8: Gettin' Branded
10… 9… 8… 7… 6… 5… 4… 3… 2… 1…
*BZZT*
Entrant #51: Philip J. Fry (Futurama)
As the buzzer sounded off for the perhaps the fourth time tonight, the song "Intergalactic" by the Beastie Boys began to play out loud all across the arena, which was soon followed by the appearance of a red-haired human with a white shirt being covered by a red jacket, blue jeans and black shoes. He wouldn't be quite alone though as he also brought out a pizza box with him to carry to the ring, which was enough for this next contestant to use right down the aisle while he was being fed cheers by this audience.
"Oh, sweet. We're getting free pizza in the house!" Tazz pointed out.
"Yeah, I don't really think so, Tazz!" JR said, shaking his head to Tazz.
"All rejection aside coming from Tazz, we've got Bender's best friend Philip J. Fry from Futurama entering at #51," Cole exclaimed before saying, "And no doubt he'll be serving his opponents a lot more than pizza!"
"Great, now I'm craving pizza." The King replied, making his stomach rumble with hunger.
Right as Fry continued his little run down the aisle, his theme music died down a little only for the song "Turbo Lover" by Judas Priest to play next on the titantron. As the song continued to play, the crowd all stood up on their feet as they saw the next entrant coming through the curtain wearing what seemed to be a white shirt with a rainbow-colored thunderbolt labeled on it while being covered by a blue shirt/jacket with a gold stripe on the arms, a pair of dark blue yoga pants with a rainbow-colored thunderbolt labeled around the legs, and a pair of red/blue sneakers that best completed her look.
Entrant #52: Rainbow Dash (My Little Pony: Equestria Girls)
"Somebody's looking to go fast here!" Steven shouted out.
"And Rainbow Dash from My Little Pony: Equestria Girls just may be the true definition of fast!" Cole exclaimed, "She's the next entrant to enter this Rumble match."
"She does have a habit of showing off her skills anyway she can all while boasting at the same time," JR pointed out, "That could definitely be her downfall."
Tazz smirked with enthusiasm, "I don't think Dashie's gonna be too worried about that!"
"She might have a reason to, Tazz. Trust me." Steven said, reminding Tazz of his face.
As Rainbow Dash continued sprinting all the way down to the ring however, the crowd was soon treated to the sound of "Drunken Lullabies" by Flogging Molly playing around in the background as a tall lanky teenager with blue-hair, yellow t-shirt, blue jeans and red sneakers soon made his way through the curtain and was instantly greeted by this Anaheim crowd. They would pop even huge however as the next entrant pulled out what seemed to be a hammer-sized hat to wear over his head. The hat, which was known as the Hat of Discipline, only belonged to one man only, who was named…
Entrant #53: Rolf (Ed, Edd n Eddy)
"Well guys, you can say that we're going back to the old country with this returning entrant!" The King pointed out.
"You can say that, King!" JR nodded, "Because returning from the last Cartoon All-Star Royal Rumble II is Ed, Edd n Eddy's resident foreigner, Rolf!"
Tazz felt a little tremble down on his feet before saying, "Hey guys, which one would sound worse, getting the Hat of Discipline or an Almighty Three-Shoe Beating?"
"Honestly, Tazz, I think it would be all of the above!" Cole said, rolling his eyes. "But if you want my opinion, it would be like having what Rolf did to Eddy in that duel they had that one time."
"Who can ever forget that horrible moment?" Steven replied, "Amethyst really wanted to give Rolf and Kevin what's what!"
The King then muttered out, "Well, truth be told however, this probably would've been avoided if Eddy didn't throw the fishball in the first place."
"Who cares?" Tazz rolled his eyes, not feeling any pity. "Rolf didn't have to act like a big baby about it."
"Well, you should be lucky that MJF didn't try to pull off something like that." JR argued
Before Tazz could say anything else however, Rolf continued his walk down the aisle all while the song "She Blinded Me With Science" by Thomas Dolby began to play around the sound system next. That of course would soon be followed by the appearance of a teenager who wore a bright yellow shirt worn over a purple/brown vest, gray jeans, white socks and brown shoes walking through the curtain. He of course, spent his entire run down the aisle giving others a high-five just to pump himself up.
Entrant #54: Milo Murphy (Milo Murphy's Law)
"Oh boy, somebody get my stopwatch." Tazz smirked a little.
"Oh gawd, you're really gonna do this are you, Tazz?" JR groaned once more.
"Hey, The King did it back in the '95 Rumble when he was commentating," Tazz said, gesturing over to the King, "Let me have my fun."
"Well, regardless what Tazz thinks, here comes Milo Murphy from Milo Murphy's Law coming in next at #54." Cole replied.
The King laid out a little smirk, "I'm really kinda surprised Tazz brought up my Mickey Mouse stopwatch."
Steven turned to the King and asked curiously, "Yeah, whatever happened to that watch?"
"Sold it for a Whopper, Steven." The King smirked back.
"Good gawd!" JR said, facepalming out of stupidity for his hall-of-fame friend.
While Milo continued his little round of high-fiving, the crowd all waited with anticipation as the song "Smooth Criminal" by Alien Ant Farm began to play on the soundsystem next, which was also soon followed by the appearance of a teenage girl with long-flowing red hair with a long-sleeved blue shirt, dark gray skirt, dark leg stockings and black high-heeled shoes. Her appearance definitely got a lot of the male fans sitting at ringside going flat-out crazy for her in return.
Entrant #55: Gwen Tennyson (Ben 10: Alien Force)
"Well Tazz, it looks like you can at least prefer this version of Gwen." Cole pointed out.
"This version of Gwen Cole is talking about is Gwen Tennyson from Ben 10: Alien Force!" JR exclaimed, "And possibly to others, the real superior version!"
"I totally agree," Steven nodded, agreeing with JR. "I have no reason why people want to prefer her younger version over this one."
"You know, that's a mystery I can't even understand myself, Steven." Cole shrugged.
The King soon tipped his finger to his own chin before asking, "There's a big mystery I want to say to myself: Why does her grandpa sound like the colonel from Metal Gear Solid?"
"That I can't understand, King." JR shrugged to the King
Steven immediately brought himself up to reply, "I remember that I used to play Metal Gear Solid nonstop all the time. Totally wish for at least a remake or remaster one of these days."
"I'm sure we're all waiting for that, Steven." Cole nodded.
"I know I've been waiting for that to finally happen." Tazz said.
As the commentary continued to talk nonstop at the commentary table, Milo Murphy was continuing his little hand-fiving spree along ringside before he finally got in the ring. But when he finally did get inside the ring however…
*SMASH!*
Milo found himself getting squashed cartoon-style by Rolf and his Hat of Discipline. The mark Rolf left turned Milo into a big pancake, even going so far to sway back and forth like paper.
"Oh, dear lord!" Cole shrieked out loud in pain.
"By gawd in heaven," JR said with a loud cringe, "Milo Murphy just got smashed like a potato!"
"I think Milo might already be done for, JR!" The King said, chuckling a bit.
It was to no surprise what King said was true.
As Milo Murphy's body eventually popped back up into reality, Rolf used every ounce of his strength to clothesline Milo right over the top rope and onto the floor, eliminating him to a very big reception from the crowd.
"Well there's your answer, King!" Steven pointed out.
"Milo Murphy's bad luck strikes once more this year," JR replied, "He is one and done in this match!"
"Guess all that high-fiving at ringside didn't do him much!" Tazz shook his head.
22nd Elimination: Milo Murphy; Eliminated by: Rolf; Duration: 0:15
As Milo Murphy left ringside feeling nothing more than utter disappointment, the camera scrolled back to the ring to see both redhaired Sam and Alex attempt to slow down Goliath with back-to-back punches toward the abdomen. It was indeed working as it kept Goliath grounded right next to the ropes for the time being.
"Hey, Alex and Sam have Goliath cornered!" The King exclaimed.
"Yeah, I wouldn't be Alex and Sam if I were them, King!" JR exclaimed as well, feeling very unsure.
With Goliath feeling a little staggered, both Alex and Sam attempted to whip the gargoyle to the ropes in order to get in a double clothesline. But before they could hit the move though, Goliath used his smarts to duck the move altogether and ran right back to the two teenage spies. He then gave a double clothesline to both Alex and Sam to the point where his strong arms began to push the two girls back far to the ropes, the strong momentum from that maneuver forced both Alex and Sam over the top rope and onto the floor, eliminating them to another huge pop!
"Oh my-lanta!" Tazz shrieked.
"Goliath just eliminated both Alex and Sam in one sitting!" Cole replied in shock.
Steven felt shocked as well, smirking in delight, "And that's only his third elimination so far! He's cooking up a storm!"
23rd Elimination: Samantha "Sam" Simpson; Eliminated by: Goliath; Duration: 10:31
24th Elimination: Alex Casoy; Eliminated by: Goliath; Duration: 10:32
Goliath attempted to celebrate his double elimination for as long as he could, until he turned around to see Clover Ewing leap up from the top rope hoping to surprise the strong gargoyle out of nowhere.
It was no problem for the gargoyle himself as Goliath instantly used his upper core body strength to catch Clover in mid-air, leaving the entire Anaheim crowd gasping with an ounce of shock and amazement!
"Uh-oh, bad place, wrong time, Clover!" Tazz shook his head.
The King agreed with Tazz, nodding in unison, "Goliath just caught her red-handed like a baseball!"
"It could be time for Clover to get knocked out of the park!" JR exclaimed.
Clover attempted to wiggle free the best that she could, but it was nevertheless all-for-naught as Goliath gorilla pressed Clover over the top ropes and onto both Alex and Sam down on the ringside floor, eliminating all three teenage spies out of the Rumble match!
"And he does just that, JR!" Steven exclaimed.
"That makes it elimination #4 for Goliath here tonight!" JR exclaimed as well.
The King suddenly shook his head in amazement, "I wouldn't be surprised if he went after the record of most eliminations after a performance like that!"
"Anything can happen, King!" Cole nodded.
25th Elimination: Clover Ewing; Eliminated by: Goliath; Duration: 10:48
As the trio of Sam, Alex and Clover began walking away from ringside disappointed from their elimination, Throttle was keeping himself busy with Brad Boimler, who immediately got caught with a bodyslam.
Then all of a sudden, Throttle proceeded to stomp Brad right by the forehead, followed by a stomp to the right arm, then a stomp to the right hand and then a stomp to the right leg, followed by a stomp to the right foot. It was very clear at this point that Throttle was now stomping all around Brad in complete circles, identifying the move as the Garvin Stomp!
"Look at Throttle stomping all around Brad Boimler!" The King exclaimed.
"Also best known as a Garvin Stomp, made famous by Mr. Ronnie Garvin himself in the old NWA!" JR exclaimed as well,
Tazz raised his eyebrow before asking, "I wonder what Mr. Garvin's opponents would have felt like being a human welcome home mat like Brad is?"
"They can tell you it ain't pleasant!" Cole said, shaking his head to Tazz.
While Throttle continued his momentum in the matchup however, Jude Lizowski was busy having a fierce forearm shot battle against Philip J. Fry, who at this point was already losing this battle due to the multiple forearm shots right upside his head.
"Fry having a whole lot of heaping trouble at ringside!" Cole exclaimed.
Tazz suggested first-handedly, "This would've happened if he brought his bottle of orange Shasta and all Rush mixtape with him."
"Too bad, Fry only uses them on a Saturday night, Tazz!" Steven said to the ECW legend.
After another forearm shot in the head coming from Jude, Fry attempted to respond the best way he knew how by connecting with a loud roundhouse kick right upside the head, stunning Jude right away.
The move immediately forced Jude to stumble back toward the ropes, which seemed to be the right time for Fry's best friend Bender to appear behind the apron and wrap his robotic legs around Jude's neck, trapping the skater boy in a headscissors that seemed too untrappable to escape!
"What a kick right to the forehead!" Steven exclaimed.
"And that of course led Bender to trap him in a headscissors!" Cole pointed out.
"I'll say," Tazz nodded, "Jude's face is about to look like a blueberry!"
Jude attempted to fight out of Bender's grasp once more, but due to him losing unconsciousness around his limbs, he began to pass out from the entire hold.
This forced Philip J. Fry to capitalize on this occasion by grabbing Jude's legs and lifting them up off the mat, all while Bender's legs forced Jude's entire momentum to go over the top rope and onto the floor, eliminating him to another big pop!
"Well, see you later, skater boy!" Tazz smirked.
"No doubt he wiped out here tonight in the Rumble!" JR exclaimed.
"This marks Bender and Fry's first elimination as a team," Cole exclaimed as well, "Who knows what damage they'll do next?"
26th Elimination: Jude Lizowski: Eliminated by: Philip J. Fry and Bender Rodriguez; Duration: 13:20
Right after Jude took his leave at ringside, the camera quickly scrolled over to the upper right turnbuckle where Luz Noceda was busy scooping up Gwen on top, looking toward to hit a superplex.
Luz attempted to lift her up, only for Gwen to hang onto the rope, leaving Luz unable to lift her up.
"Luz trying to go to a superplex there." JR replied.
"Yeah, good luck, she ain't gonna lift her up with Gwen holding on to the ropes like that," The King pointed out, "Luz might as well call quits on this one!"
Luz, on the other hand, wasn't giving up that easily.
The young witch then proceeded to hit Gwen right in the ribs repeatedly, leaving the goth girl unable to hang onto the ropes this time.
"I think Luz took care of that situation!" Steven exclaimed.
Luz once again tried to go for another second attempt of the superplex on Gwen, but as soon as she lifted the goth girl up though, Gwen Tennyson leapt up on the middle rope and grabbed onto Luz from behind. From there, she launched both Luz and Gwen off the top rope with a German suplex, all while Luz got Gwen with a superplex at the same time!
"Dear lord in heaven!" JR shrieked loudly.
"What a frickin' car wreck we just witnessed!" Tazz exclaimed.
"I don't know which one took the worst landing, Luz or Gwen?" Steven asked the commentators, "Either way, take your pick!"
Meanwhile, as the trio of Luz, Gwen and Gwen Tennyson were busy taking in a dirtnap in that cold unforgiving mat, the entire Anaheim crowd all stood up to their feet yet again and looked right over to the titantron as they saw the Rumble clock appear once more, obviously awaiting the next five more entrants looking ready to enter the match any second.
"We've the clock winding down for our next set of entrants," Steven pointed out, "Can't wait to see who they are!"
10… 9… 8… 7… 6… 5… 4… 3… 2… 1…
*BZZT!*
Entrant #56: Dan (Dan Vs.)
After the buzzer sounded off all throughout the arena, the crowd was greeted to the tune of "Institutionalized" by Suicidal Tendencies as a short-statured man with black hair, messy black soulpatch, black sneakers, denim blue jeans and a black T-shirt with the words "JERK" emblazoned on it appeared through the curtain sprinting down the aisle. He wouldn't be quite alone though as he also carried a big trash can filled with various weapons with him as well, adding a bit of hardcore variety in this match.
"Uh-oh, here's a man with revenge on his mind!" The King yelped.
"And Dan from Dan Vs. is filled with a lot of it tonight!" JR yelped as well.
Steven curiously pointed out, "I've heard from under the grapevine he's some sort of malcontent, it seems."
"It's only because he hates the things that really ticks him off!" Cole clearly explained, "And you can be sure he'll use his temper to good use in this Rumble match!"
Meanwhile, as Dan instantly tossed the weapon-filled trash can into the ring and onto the back of Rolf's head, the next entrance theme played on the titantron, which was soon identified as the theme song to Star vs. The Forces of Evil. The crowd all cheered to their feet yet again as a tan-skinned teenager with short dark-brown hair, orange-red hoodie, black jeans and brown/orange sneakers began bolting through the curtain and made his way down the aisle high-fiving the ecstatic fans.
Entrant #57: Marco Diaz (Star vs. The Forces of Evil)
"It's time to get a little weird and a little wild, guys!" The King exclaimed.
"And here to do just that is Marco Diaz from Star vs. The Forces of Evil at #57," JR replied, "He of course is also returning from the last Rumble."
"Is he the one with the hot mom?" Tazz pointed out.
JR groaned a little before saying to Tazz, "Yes, he is and no, you can't date her, Tazz. She's married."
Steven then said with a smirk, "Even if she wasn't, I guarantee you she'd still turn down Tazz."
"But I thought all ladies love me." Tazz stupidly said in return.
"Well you thought wrong, ya idiot!" JR said, rolling his eyes at Tazz' stupidity.
As Tazz muttered a bit angrily in return, the crowd all went up to their feet yet again as they heard the familiar X-Men The Animated Series theme song blare out all across the arena. That all soon followed by the appearance by an attractive woman with long flowing brunette hair with a white stripe up on the top, complete with a green-yellow jumpsuit which was worn over a svelte green jacket and a familiar southern belle-like accent.
Entrant #58: Rogue (X-Men: The Animated Series)
"Woo-Hoo, now we're getting to the good stuff now!" The King cheered nonstop.
"I can see The King's in a good mood now that Rogue from the original X-Men cartoon is in the Rumble match!" JR exclaimed.
"There were other incarnates of this character," Cole informed everyone, "But the one we're getting is the 1992 version here tonight!"
"Out of all of them, Michael, everybody sees the animated series version of Rogue as the best one." Steven pointed out.
Tazz immediately said with a smirk, "You think she'll kiss me if I'm lucky, guys?"
"Don't get your hopes up, Tazz," JR shook his head, "Or else you're gonna spend hours getting Gambit's spear out of your ass."
The King smirked, "HA! I'd actually pay to see that happen!"
While Tazz muttered angrily once more to his commentator friends, the familiar X-Men music died down for a little while only for the song "Turn Up The Radio" by Autograph to play on the titantron next. That of course was soon followed by the appearance of an anthropomorphic brown horse with a blue sweatshirt that was covered by a gray jacket, usual blue jeans and red sneakers, who came out through the curtain being greeted by cheers from the Anaheim audience. They even popped a bit louder when they saw this entrant hold up a sign that read "Kid Rock Sucks and I Rule" in big bold letters.
Entrant #59: BoJack Horseman
"Oh look, it's a horse of course!" Tazz snickered out.
"Ha ha, real hilarious Tazz," Cole rolled his eyes sarcastically. "Did that take you seconds to come up with that one?"
"Just ignore Tazz, Cole," The King said to Michael Cole. "Here comes Bojack Horseman ready to get off his high horse at #59!"
"I see we're starting off strong with the horse puns tonight." JR rolled his eyes as well.
"Well, there is one thing that's for sure, guys!" Steven said, "And that's Kid Rock absolutely sucks!"
"Yeah, which moron wastes good beer shooting those cases down like that?" Cole said with a brief shrug.
As Bojack continued his little run down the aisle, the song "Superman" by Goldfinger began to play on the titantron next as a short teenager with a red helmet, brown dreadlocks, yellow shirt, red shorts, black elbow/knee pads, dark green glasses and white sneakers came out through the curtain next, also being greeted by a legion of fans ringside who all chanted "Woogity" over and over again just to pump it up. This next entrant wouldn't be quite alone though as he also had his trusty skateboard with him to ride down the aisle as well.
Entrant #60: Otto Rocket (Rocket Power)
"I think we're about to be injected with a full dose of Rocket Power!" Tazz exclaimed.
"Speaking of Rocket Power, Tazz, here comes Otto Rocket from the Nickelodeon show itself," JR pointed out, "This will be his first time competing in this Rumble match!"
"I gotta say, the song choice is perfect for someone like Otto," Steven nodded, "Reminds me of Tony Hawk's Pro Skater."
"Funny you should say that since he's mostly skilled at skateboarding himself!" Cole said to Steven.
"That's for sure," The King nodded, "Not to mention snowboarding, surfing, bmx-ing, he's like the extreme Mr. Perfect!"
"The question is, can he be perfect like Mr. Perfect himself?" JR asked with a hint of curiosity.
JR was about to be given that answer instantly as Otto Rocket, who right now had recently stepped off his skateboard, appeared right on the apron waiting for Throttle to turn around.
When he did by the way, Otto leapt from the ropes and hit Throttle with a springboard hurricanrana! The move immediately sent Throttle hanging through the middle rope, looking very groggily as he became hung out to dry.
"There we go, wicked hurricanrana right to Throttle from Otto!" Cole exclaimed.
"Now Throttle ain't looking too good now," The King shook his head, "He's in a rough position!"
"I think he might be done for!" Steven pointed out.
No doubt it seemed that way. With Throttle still looking groggy on the middle rope, both Invisi Billy and Rainbow Dash capitalized on this position and ran right to the ropes, just to run towards Throttle by hitting him with a double tiger feint kick aka a double 619!
"Dial it up for a double 619!" Tazz shouted.
"I'll bet that Rey Mysterio would be proud of that one!" Cole replied.
With the attack making Throttle stagger a bit backwards, Otto capitalized once more by dropkicking Throttle in the back of the head.
This forced Throttle to stagger forward towards the direction of Invisi Billy and Rainbow Dash, who gave Throttle a double back body drop over the top ropes and onto the floor, eliminating him to a stellar ovation from the crowd!
"Welp, looks like Throttle crashed and burned!" The King replied, chuckling.
JR said while shaking his head, "Too late for Vinnie and Modo to help him right now. Throttle is done!"
"Back to Mars with him, I'm sure!" Steven nodded.
27th Elimination: Throttle: Eliminated by: Invisi Billy and Rainbow Dash; Duration: 10:12
Once Throttle picked himself back up and left ringside however, the camera scrolled back to the ring and caught JFK dishing out a haymaker to Bobby Santiago's face.
The attack strangely left him unfazed though as Bobby immediately started to dance by shaking his hips back and forth, giving out a surprisingly huge pop at ringside.
"What the– he's dancing again?!" Tazz said at a loss for words.
"Seems like it, Tazz," JR nodded, "He's got a lot of rhythm so much that the punches don't even faze him!"
"Still Bobby can dance better than JFK!" The King added.
"I bet he dances better than Tazz too!" Steven smirked.
Tazz continued to ignore that comment as JFK continued to hit away at Bobby, who still managed to dance away the punches like it was absolutely nothing.
The pop continued to get huge for Bobby, leaving the entire female demographic at ringside to chant Bobby's name over and over again!
"My goodness, is this guy gonna keep dancing?" Tazz chuckled, not even knowing what to make of this scene, "When's he gonna hit back?"
"At this point, Tazz, he might as well wear JFK out to the point he may not wanna hit him anymore!" The King pointed out.
"That would remind me of a scene from The Simpsons though." Steven replied.
At this point, JFK seemed that no punches of his was gonna affect Bobby and his dancing hips.
So he did think up another solution though:
He raised his leg and kicked Bobby right between the crotch, making Bobby hold onto himself in pain while the people at ringside booed as a result of JFK's dirty trick.
"Owwww!" Steven said, cringing in agony.
"Aw come on," JR groaned, "What a dirty move!"
"Guess he's gonna be sounding like a Bee Gee." Tazz snickered a little
Cole rolled his eyes saying to Tazz, "Oh please, that was unpleasant!"
"I guarantee you Lori Loud isn't gonna like that!" The King shook his head.
Bobby tried his best to recover as fast as he could, but that gruesome groin kick he felt was too painful for Bobby to continue.
This gave JFK an opportunity to grab Bobby from behind and throw the heartthrob over the top rope and onto the floor, eliminating him to much larger boos from the angry audience himself!
"Welp, no Saturday Night Fever for Bobby Boo-Boo Bear!" Tazz exclaimed.
"With no thanks to JFK, no less!" Steven shook his head, "Bobby's been eliminated!"
"Shows what you get when you goof off with all your dancing." Tazz pointed out once more.
28th Elimination: Bobby Santiago: Eliminated by: JFK; Duration: 6:30
JFK continued to relish in his small victory, rubbing it in all of the fans' faces especially when he threw double peace signs in the air, paying homage to a former President from the late '60s/early '70s.
Rogue didn't like the looks of this coming from JFK's smarky-ass truth be told. Strangely enough, she pulled out what seemed to be a can of hash coming from the garbage can.
While JFK had his back turned, Rogue channeled her inner Greg Maddux and threw the metallic can of hash straight up JFK's head, splattering and bursting on impact like it was a splattered brain being thrown top speed!
"Oh my lord!" Cole shrieked a bit in shock.
"Hahaha," The King chuckled before saying, "That went faster than a bullet!"
Steven said with a certified nod, "Yeah, almost sounded like a gun going off!"
Tazz found himself rolling his eyes as he said, "You enjoy making fun out of his pain like that?"
"Well I say he deserved every damn bit of that karma, Tazz!" JR nodded to Tazz.
With JFK dazed and confused from that can shot to the forehead, he turned around to see Rogue standing before him with an angry sneer ridden on her face. Before JFK could react even to such a fraction however, Rogue blasted JFK hard with a discus punch so hard that it flipped JFK over the top rope and onto the floor in comical fashion, eliminating the young student to a buttload of thunderous cheers!
"And JFK gets impeached out of the Rumble!" Cole exclaimed.
"Hail to the chief?" The King gasped before smirking out, "More like down goes the chief!"
"It's not right, you're treating him like he's a crook!" Tazz whined once more.
"Guess that explains the peace signs he threw!" Steven said, smirking in front of Tazz's face.
29th Elimination: JFK: Eliminated by: Rogue; Duration: 10:51
While JFK was left slumped at ringside in order to rehab his fractured skull, Snake Eyes found himself getting flipped over by both Dan and Bojack Horseman, but managed to hang onto the apron in the nick of time, keeping himself safe from elimination for now.
"Whoa, they nearly had Snake Eyes right there!" Tazz pointed out.
"He came close to hitting the floor," JR replied, "But Snake Eyes was able to save himself for the moment."
Both Dan and Bojack Horseman attempted to knock him off the apron one at a time, but Snake Eyes managed to swat them off successfully as he caught Dan with a haymaker and caught Bojack with a big Gamengiri kick upside the head.
"Snake Eyes denying both Dan and Bojack." Cole pointed out.
"He's a true ninja, and Snake Eyes has the skills to prove it." Steven said.
The King attempted to say something else, but before he could, however, he saw Snake Eyes attempt to jump back into the ring only for both Donatello and Michelangelo to cut him off with a double superkick.
That move was so lethal that it knocked Snake Eyes off the apron and down onto the floor, eliminating him from the Rumble matchup entirely!
"Oh, goodnight nurse!" The King shrieked out of surprise.
JR nodded to the King, "You're telling me, King! Snake Eyes is gonna need a nurse now that he's eliminated!"
"Wow, that was unstealthy." Tazz said, rolling his eyes.
30th Elimination: Snake Eyes: Eliminated by: Donatello and Michelangelo; Duration: 15:09
As Snake Eyes found himself leaving ringside for the time being, the camera scrolled back to the ring once more to see Raven pull out a steel chair from the weapon-filled trash can after stunning Scrooge McDuck with a usual body slam.
Taking that steel chair in hand, Raven went up to the top rope while wrapping the chair around her ribcage, looking to pull off a moonsault from the top rope.
"Hey, Raven's trying to be like Sabu here!" Tazz quickly pointed out again.
"I don't think that's a good idea for Raven." The King shook his head, "This is literally suicide."
JR unsurely replied, "If I were her, I would not go up top with my back turned."
Raven foolishly ignored JR's call long enough unfortunately for Alejandro to sneak up behind her like a snake, and before the Teen Titan finally knew it herself, she was pushed off the top rope and fell directly on the floor! The fans immediately cried foul and booed venomously toward Alejandro, all while they saw Raven land towards the ringside floor with a soft thud, eliminating her from the contest!
"Dang it!" Steven groaned angrily.
"What a vile move by that no-good snake!" Cole snarled, "Eliminating Raven just like that!"
"Are you guys gonna keep insulting Alejandro every freakin' time he does something?" Tazz said, grouching toward his broadcast partners.
JR snarled angrily to Tazz saying, "The way that he's cheating and berating this crowd, we have every damn right to call him out!
"I can tell both Robin, Beast Boy and the rest of the Teen Titans won't be happy with this." The King said, fearing the worst.
31st Elimination: Raven: Eliminated by: Alejandro Burromuerto; Duration: 15:29
Alejandro, with a vicious sneer plastered all along his face, had immediately decided to rub it in the crowd's faces by flipping them off in one setting, which made the crowd's boos intensify to full mass apocalyptic levels. Hell, it had gotten so loud that the roof in this building was so close to coming down and crushing everybody in sight.
Geoff on the other hand, wasn't pleased with what went down. This got him boiling mad so much that much to his luck, he saw what seemed to be a double cross branding iron popping out of the weapon-filled trash can and grabbed it with his hands all while waiting for the Latin liar to turn around and get a taste of his own medicine.
"Oh boy, Al better not turn around!" Steven pointed out with a smirk.
"He better not even think about it!" Tazz said, pointing to Geoff with that branding iron. He then shouted to Al screaming, "DAMN IT, ALEJANDRO, DON'T TURN AROUND!"
Cole shook his head, "Sorry, but your screaming won't work, Tazz!"
And it wouldn't work in the long run.
When Alejandro turned around, Geoff charged right at the Latin lover and pressed that red-hot branding iron towards his chest, burning a hole through his red shirt and making a very dark double-cross mark around his bare chest! This whole entire scene made the crowd erupt with full delight, seeing Alejandro become branded like a roasted pig on the grill!
"Good Gawd Almighty!" JR shouted, "Geoff with the branding iron, right on the chest of the Arch Villain!"
"Yeah, that outta boy Geoff!" The King smirked with delight. "That's how you roast a latin lying pig like Al."
Steven then pointed out with a smile, "I think that looks like something Terry Funk could come up with!"
"No crap, now I know how Mick Foley frickin' feels in his ECW days!" Tazz shrieked out loudly.
"The only difference was Mick Foley was able to take pain like that, where Alejandro isn't used to it himself!" Cole pointed out.
It wouldn't be long before Gwen decided to join Geoff in the little festivities herself, taking another double-crossed branding iron from the garbage can itself and branding Alejandro right in the left part of his chest, leaving him double branded for the fans to point out and enjoy this little torture scene for themselves!
"Oh great, now Geoff's got Gwen doing it as well!" Tazz cried out in agony.
"I'll say," The King nodded, "He's gonna need to down several bottles of Pepto to get rid of that heartburn!"
"I guarantee you he'll need a lot more than that King!" JR said, nodding over to The King.
While at the same time that was going on however, the camera scrolled around to the right side of the ropes in time to see Jimmy Neutron get clotheslined by Gwen Tennyson over the top rope and onto the floor, eliminating the Boy Genius from the matchup entirely!
"Looks like Jimmy's gonna blast out of this Rumble!" Steven exclaimed.
"Oh man," The King groaned, "I didn't get a chance to see one of his brain blasts!"
"Quite unfortunate, King, but that's life anyway you look at it!" Cole exclaimed.
32nd Elimination: Jimmy Neutron: Eliminated by: Gwen Tennyson; Duration: 5:46
As Jimmy began taking quite a dirtnap on the outside floor, the whole entire Anaheim crowd all stood up out of their seats and looked towards the titantron as the saw the Rumble clock light up on the screen once again. From there, it began to tick down with patience, therefore leading the way for the next row of entrants to enter the match momentarily.
"Well, while Jimmy's obviously taking a nap, we might as well see who the next combatants are," Tazz replied. "Man, I'm feeling very stoked about this!"
Once again, this was a pain in the ass to get this chapter finished and whatnot (real life gets to you very much), but at least it's all done and that's what matters. Anyway, here are the stats!
Entrants in the ring: 28
Entrants left to go: 100
Eliminated: Derek Generic, Lynn Loud Jr., Johnny Bravo, Robert "Granddad" Freeman, George Jetson, Fred Flintstone, Beast Boy, Hank Hill, Lion-O, Odd Delia Robbia, Shaggy Rogers, Finn The Human, Duncan, Sunset Shimmer, Ben Tennyson, Caitlin Cooke, Cat Noir, Lance "Avalanche: Alvers, Butt-Head, Beavis, Zim, Milo Murphy, Samantha "Sam" Simpson, Alex Casoy, Clover Ewing, Jude Lizowski, Throttle, Bobby Santiago, JFK, Snake Eyes, Raven and Jimmy Neutron
Still in the ring: Still in the ring: Alejandro Burromuerto, Nosedive Flashblade, Luz Noceda, Brad Boimler, Michelangelo, Duke L'Orange, Spectra Vondergeist, Check "Grin" Hardwing, Raven Queen, Sam Manson, Geoff, Frankie Stein, Bender Rodriguez, Scrooge McDuck, Gwen, Donatello, Invisi Billy, Cleopatra, Goliath, Philip J. Fry, Rainbow Dash, Rolf, Gwen Tennyson, Dan, Marco Diaz, Rogue, BoJack Horseman and Otto Rocket
Shortest time: Milo Murphy (0:15)
Will Otto Rocket continue to get more extreme?
Will Alejandro continue to be much more of a pain magnet?
Am I excited for the Metal Gear Solid Master Collection to come out for the modern-day consoles?
We all know that last question is true, but either way, you'll have to wait until the next chapter rolls right around to see what happens. Anyway, make sure you all read, review and leave feedbacks if you like just in case you want to see more of this awesome Rumble.
So until next time:
REST IN PEACE
TERRY FUNK
1944-2023
AND
BRAY WYATT
1987-2023