Arc 1: The American Psycho [XIV]

Chapter: Small Victory

After a quick chat with the grizzled maître d', giving her a quick rundown on the situation, telling her a mix of half truths and white lies, Hikigaya found himself making an important decision, trying to pick a birthday cake for a kid who didn't know her birthday.

When the grizzled maître d' gave Anya a rare smile, wished her a 'Very Happy Birthday' and left their table to have one of the waiters fetch them a menu which showcased all the different birthday cakes they had at their disposal, Hikigaya made good use of the time and threw a couple of questions here and there to keep the conversation going.

"So Anya, you're…" He stopped for a second and re-evaluated what he was just about to say. Because there was no way in hell he was gonna call this sweet little kid an orphan. Thankfully, he was good with words and he found a way around the sensitive topic. "…you're adopted?"

Anya nodded her head. "Papa picked Anya up from an orphanage. But Papa told Anya to never tell anyone that she is adopted. Not even Mama knows Anya is adopted. How did you figure it out Hikki?"

Hikigaya couldn't help it. He tried to be the cool uncle and ended up saying the lamest shit ever. "Because I'm Batman." He said in a gravelly voice.

Anya cocked her head to the side and blinked in confusion. "Was Hikki touched as a kid?"

Hikigaya's eyes bugged out. "Eh-Excuse me?"

"Ah, Anya made a mistake. Tehee~" Anya punched the side of her head with child-like innocence, which reminded him very much of his own younger sister. "Anya meant to say was Hikki touched in the head. It means Anya thinks that you are crazy. Papa told me that Japanese people are really polite and I need to watch what I say. One day in school, I saw the kids doing this really cool stuff. But it was crazy. I went back home and told Papa that my classmates are crazy. Papa told me that I was being impolite and that I should come with a different word. I asked Mama for advice and she told me to use the phrase 'touched in the head'. It means crazy!"

Hikigaya didn't know whether it was a problem which plagued their current generation or if it was something in the air or water, but he didn't remember people being this talkative back in the good ol' days. Back when he was a kid, growing up, people didn't even talk with him. And he preferred it that way. Why did things have to change, why do people have to talk so much, he never understood it.

"I'm not crazy." Hikigaya told Anya. "I just have above average intelligent."

Anya gasped, covering her mouth with both hands. "Hikigaya is a mad scientist! It's so cool!"

"Why is being a mad scientist cool?" Hikigaya asked with a hint of joviality in his tone. "You watch cartoons right? Spy Wars and stuff. You have seen this, mad scientists want to take over the world. That's bad, Anya."

Anya grumbled. "Sunuvabich."

Hikigaya raised an eyebrow at her fumbled cursing. Anya, realizing what she did a second too late looked really scared and afraid. At this point of time, he could make an educated guess and say that if the kid cursed in front of his mother or father, they would have been alarmed and might have tried to discipline her. But Anya forgot one thing. Hikigaya wasn't trying to be her parent. He was just the cool uncle.

"It's pronounced son-of-a-bitch, Anya." Hikigaya clearly enunciated the words. And then, almost as a second thought quickly added. "Don't tell your mama I taught you how to curse. She will have my head."

Anya nodded. "She will decapitate you."

For a while, something had struck him as odd, but Hikigaya never said it out loud. "You know for a kid with average intelligence, you know some really fancy words. I don't think I knew what decapitation was when I was your age."

It seemed like luck was on his side, because the waiter came back with a menu, listing all the cakes and their prices, and handed it to the only adult at the table, since he would be the one footing the bill.

One thing he had learnt about Anya over their short interaction was that, she was just a normal little kid, and like all kids she was a greedy little shit who just wanted to stuff her face and eat the whole cake all by herself.

Her eyes grew huge in excitement and her mouth watered at the sight of the menu.

"Anya wants the Kit Kat Cake!" Anya spoke loudly and her voice grew louder and louder. "The Kit Kat Cake. Anya wants the Kit Kat Cake!"

Hikigaya gave the kid a benevolent look. The waiter hadn't bothered to give Anya a menu which listed all the cakes, and Hikigaya hadn't shown Anya the menu either. But Anya knew about the Kit Kat Cake they had. In other words, Anya Forger had read his mind again. And he didn't even realize it, had no inkling of it whatsoever. Really, the kid was incredibly dangerous.

"Okay Anya. Let's make a deal. I will get you that Kit Kat Cake, if you tell me where you learnt all those fancy words." He added a big smile for good measure.

And the poor kid fell for it. "Because Mama is an assassin and Papa is a spy – Ah!" Anya gasped out loud, like she had been pinched real hard and then started shaking her head real hard, like she was trying to turn back the clock and undo a huge mistake.

Hikigaya played it cool. "Interesting family dynamic you got there Anya. Mom's an assassin. Dad's a spy-"

"Papa is not a spy!" Anya squeaked. "Papa is a househusband. It's a real occupation. There's a Wikipedia page and everything."

Hikigaya was hit by a wave of nostalgia for a second. Being a househusband, this man was living his dream. And he had a beautiful wife and a daughter as well. In an instant, Hikigaya felt a level of bitterness towards Anya's father.

"I'm pretty sure you said he was a spy." Hikigaya informed her.

"No, I meant." Anya tried to think real hard. "He is a spi-"

Hikigaya goaded her on, just to see what she will say, for his own sick amusement. "Yes?"

"Papa is a spi- Papa is spi-" Finally, Anya Forger was hit by inspiration. "Papa is a Spice Girl!"

A beat.

Now Hikigaya could have asked the obvious question, but instead he decided to mess around with the brat again.

"Okay Anya. Since your Papa is a Spice Girl, can you tell me the name of the Spice Girl's debut album?" Hikigaya asked with a sweet smile.

Realizing who she was up against, a man whose cruelty knew no bounds and who would stoop so low as to mess with a sweet and innocent kid, Anya did the only thing that was logical and gave up immediately. "Okay. Hikki wins. My Papa is a spy."

And like the sick bastard that he was, Hikigaya laughed in triumph at his victory over a small child.

He was truly the worst.

Author's Note: You guys really are the best. Yesterday, I told you guys that I can't write and update stories for an entire month and I have been already gone for a long time, and instead of getting angry or mad, you guys showed me kindness and love and understood my situation and where I'm coming from. That means a lot. Really, I don't have words to express how grateful I am.

And so, since I had time in my hand today, I decided to write this small chapter. And I gotta say, I am really liking the dynamic between Anya and Hikigaya. They have the whole cool uncle and niece thing going on. I hope you guys are enjoying this too. There will be a few more chapters with Anya and Hikigaya and then we will meet the big baddie, the American Psycho himself. I can't wait till I get to that part. I'm really excited.

But I'm also excited about some other stories that I want to write. And one of them is gonna be another 'City fic' which will have a 'Shared Universe' like the 'Ikebukuro fics'. It will be posted in my other account – 'Alligator Wrestler Hemingway'.

Now, let's do some polls –

Poll#1: What Should Be My Next Cities Fic?

Option 1: Neo Tokyo Rhapsody– Hikigaya Is The 'Iron Man' of The Series.

Option 2: New York Ballad– Harry Potter Is The 'Iron Man' of The Series.

Poll#2: Should I Start Another 'Cities Fic'?

Option 1: Yes. Write 'New York Rhapsody'

Option 2: No. Only Write 'Ikebukuro Fics.'

Poll#3: Who Should Be The 'Iron Man' of My Next City Fic?

Option 1: Harry Potter.

Option 2: Hikigaya Hachiman.

Option 3: Characters From The Reviews.

Finally,

Poll#4: Which Fandoms Should Be Part Of The Shared Universe?

Option 1: Monster

Option 2: Black Lagoon.

Option 3: Ghost in the Shell.

Option 4: Psycho Pass.

Option 5: Noragami.

Option 6: Anime From The Reviews.

Please pick accordingly.

Hope everyone enjoyed reading this chapter.

Leave lots and lots of reviews, follow and fave.

Won't betray your dreams.