It was a good thing Pacifica had given him prior warning. If Dipper had walked into the lion's den without a clue, he was pretty certain he would have been devoured on sight.

Apparently, Pacifica's boss was trying to create a situation where he would cheat on the blonde girl. That seemed ludicrous just to think about him, him cheating. It had nothing to do with the fact that most girls either saw him as a very good friend, had no interest in him, or were Mabel.

Huh, just thinking about his dating prospects was kinda depressing.

However, the moment he sat down at the table he and the other girls were supposed to, he found himself immediately the center of attention. Also, he was the only boy at the table. He was literally in a sea of revealing dresses, stylized hair, professionally done makeup, and a veritable cloud of perfume.

Dipper did his best to keep his attention on Pacifica and Mabel. They were safe. They would keep him in line and the wolves at bay. At least, he thought that was what would happen. You would think the seating order would have him surrounded, with his girlfriend on one side and his sister on the other. Nope, everyone would be wrong as he sat to one side of Pacifica and Mabel was her other side.

Which left…the idols…

Already, the ones that were seated on the other side of the table were looking him over, seductive looks on their faces. A couple were even playing with strands of their hair for…some reason. They were also wearing very tight, form-fitting dresses, so their developing bosoms were on full display. Nothing was safe looking forward, so Dipper tried facing the only two safe females there, only to see the one sitting next to Mabel giving him the exact same look and…and…

Oh God, she was biting her lip. She…she looked like she really wanted him.

And that wasn't the worst, oh no, not even close.

See, there was an idol sitting right next to him, and she took advantage of that. She had actually moved her chair closer to him, to the point they were practically touching. Dipper had tried to subtly move his chair closer to Pacifica, mostly to maintain appropriate distance from…the girl he had met at Pacifica's TV show rehearsal. What was her name again? Brit…no. Bri…ane? Close. Briana! Right, Briana!

And Briana hadn't seemed the least bit undeterred. Right now, Dipper was literally pinned in one spot as his chair was right up against Pacifica's and Briana's was right next to his. And she kept brushing up against him and leaving these lingering touches.

"Uhh, Briana?" Pacifica spoke up, sending a scowl at the girl. "Would you mind, like, getting fifteen feet away from my boyfriend?"

"I'm only, like, trying to have a conversation with him, Pacifica," the idol girl brushed off. "It's not my fault that you can barely hear anyone unless you're two inches away."

"You're talking to me just fine right now."

"That's because you have, like, the loudest voice in the room. A deaf guy could hear you."

Admittingly, there was a steady drone of voices as the room was filled with conversing people. It was kinda hard to argue with that. It wasn't loud enough that Briana had to speak directly into his ear like she had moments ago, lips damn near tickling him as they moved...hot breath...warming him...

Oh God, this was too much attention!

"Eat more granola!" Mabel shouted as she grabbed a handful from the bowl at the center of the table and shoved it into the mouth of the girl next to her.

Also, Briana hadn't taken into account Mabel when making her scathing remark at Pacifica.

Much to Dipper's relief, the girls around the table had been snacking on the granola so far. They had maybe half of the bowl left, so further encouragement wasn't really necessary, but it didn't hurt to keep doing so.

"Yeah, why don't you have some more of the granola," Dipper quickly agreed, reaching forward and grabbing the bowl, and then holding it in front of the idol. Briana actually took some more and immediately tossed some into her mouth.

"This is, like, so very good," the girl remarked. "You really have to try some. You'll never have any as good as this again."

"Eh, I'm not really hungry," Dipper shrugged, placing the bowl back into the center of the table. "The three of us ate before we got here."

That caused Briana to raise an eyebrow. "You ate before coming to one of the biggest parties this town has ever seen? With the kind of catering they can bring in?"

"When your mom makes you dinner, you eat your dinner," he shrugged.

"His mom is actually a really good cook," Pacifica added. "I would say you needed to try it, but you'll never, like, get the chance."

"Oh yeah?" Briana replied challengingly.

"Did I, like, stutter?" For added effect, Pacifica slid an arm around Dipper's shoulders, a clear display of her ownership of him.

This didn't deter Briana at all as she leaned into Dipper's opposite side, practically pressing her check against his. Anger flashed over Pacifica's face as she moved in closer, casually laying one of her legs over his. In response, Briana tossed her own leg over Dipper's other one. The two girls were practically crawling on top of him as they pressed themselves against him.

Dipper's face went full-on red. He couldn't think. He couldn't do anything. He was simply overwhelmed by the two girls literally laying on him. He became painfully aware that his pants were starting to get rather tight around his lap.

"HELLLLLOOOOOO, PIEDMONT!" a voice suddenly cut through the rising tension. "WELCOME TO PIEDMONT'S FIRST ANNUAL TEEN DECISION AWARDS!"

There was a loud cheer from everywhere except their table. It seemed the show was about to begin.

"NOW, LET'S BRING ON OUR FIRST ACT! YOU KNOW THEM. YOU LOVE THEM. YOU CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT THEM. FIRST UP IS THE MAIN STREET MEN PERFORMING THEIR SIGNATURE HIT, I'LL HAVE IT MY WAY!"

Dipper should have seen it coming. He really should have. Yet, he was slow on the uptake because he went momentarily deaf as every single girl in the room began screaming, including—and especially—Mabel, Pacifica, and Briana.

He…he was going to need to see an audiologist after tonight.

Alright, Main Street Men aside, Pacifica was getting pissed.

She had known that Briana was a boyfriend-stealing witch. Now she had her sights set on Dipper and the blonde girl knew exactly why. It wasn't because the girl liked him and was deadset on winning him over. Oh no, it had everything to do with that prick of a mouse head wearing jerk that called himself her boss.

She had seen the other girls eyeing Dipper the same way, though due to lack of proximity, they were doing what they could to draw his eye. Dipper, the poor guy, had done his best to keep his attention on Pacifica, and she was actually a little grateful about that.

But then…Briana stepped up her game.

Pacifica was already weighing the pros and cons of flat out climbing in her very real, not fake at all, boyfriend's lap to loudly pronounce that she was not giving him up. The problem was that she felt her annoying rival would do the same. No way in heck was she going to share her officially real boyfriend's lap with some other skank. A Northwest never sh…shaaard? That word Mabel knew.

Unfortunately, she couldn't keep up the game, not when she felt someone tap her shoulder. "What?!" she snarled as she whipped her head around.

Standing there was one of the men in suits, a pair of sunglasses hiding his eyes, which was, like, totally impractical in a room like this. Yeah, the stage was all lit up to the point you couldn't even see shadows, but the lighting was dim on the audience. How this suit didn't bump into everything on the way here was unknown.

"Your presence is requested backstage, Ms. Northwest," the man told her, much to her chagrin. The two Pines twins had heard this and shared concerned looks.

"Tell whoever it is I'm busy," Pacifica responded flippantly. "I'm, like, trying to spend time with my boyfriend." That last barb had been directed right at Briana, who only had this annoying smirk on her face.

"I'm going to have to insist. Mikey is the one that wants to see you."

Huh? Mikey? Again already? Pacifica didn't like that one bit. Gone was her flippant attitude and in its place was concern. "Mikey? But…I just met up with him not that long ago. Why does he want to see me now?"

"I only relay orders. He wants to see you now."

It was with great reluctance that Pacifica removed herself from Dipper and stood up, her chair sliding back as she did so. She really didn't want to go, not after seeing just how determined the other Micettes were. Yet, she didn't really have a choice, not if their plan was going to work. She couldn't be seen as having any involvement and being defiant would put a big bull's eye on her back. "Alright, let's go," she sighed.

Dipper couldn't have been more alarmed if he tried.

He watched as Pacifica went off with one of Mikey Mice's goons. Why did he want to meet up with Pacifica? Why now? Did he know something? Was he onto them?

There were so many ways this could go badly.

Immediately, Dipper moved into Pacifica's chair so he could speak with his sister—and also get away from the Briana girl. Pretty girl that she was, he wasn't used to being fought over and he didn't really want to be stuck with her one-on-one. This also stopped the other Micettes from surrounding him on all sides. One of the others could have taken Pacifica's empty seat and he'd be all on his own.

"Mabel, what do you think is going on?" he asked her lowly.

"No idea, Dipper," Mabel said. "Maybe he just wants to give her last minute instructions for her award?"

"Maybe. I don't like it though."

"Me neither." She glanced away from him. "Uhh, we also have another problem?"

Another one?! "What other one?"

"We're almost out of granola and I haven't noticed anyone acting differently."

Dipper looked to the granola bowl, and much to his chagrin saw that it was indeed almost out. He hadn't even heard so much as a dropped octave in any of the Micettes' voices either, which wasn't a good thing. How much granola did they need to eat before they experienced that anyways?

"We're going to need to get more," he eventually said.

"I'll get it!" Mabel exclaimed before she practically sprang out of her chair and took off for the exit. Dipper just watched as she vanished into the rest of the audience, only having an idea of where she was at when he saw someone jolt up, no doubt because his sister bumped into them.

Which left him all alone.

Alone with a bunch of teen girls eyeing him up in ways he had never been eyed up before.

He felt a pair of arms wrapped around one of his, causing him to look and see Briana leaning into him again. She practically purred as she stared at him through half-lidded eyes. "Alone at last," she told him.

This wasn't good.

It took a bit of effort, but Mabel finally got out of the ballroom and was hurrying through the hallways of the convention center. It was a good thing Dipper told her about the extra granola Pacifica had brought in and where it was, otherwise she would have just been running around aimlessly.

Not that that wouldn't be fun, but she was on a mission! An important mission! An important Mabel mission!

Reaching the hallway that went to the back exit, she made the turn and picked up her pace to the door. Shoving it open, she entered the alleyway that was behind the convention center. She immediately spotted the truck Dipper and Pacifica had told her about.

She also saw the large pile of granola that was spilling out of the back.

That…that was a lot of granola.

She couldn't help but lick her lips.

Graaaaanooooolaaaaaaa….

No!

Mabel raised a hand up and slapped her face. No, she couldn't get lost in her addiction again, no matter how delicious the granola was. Dipper was counting on her and she was determined to help him out of this mess. It's what he would do and had done for her before. She could do no less.

Unfortunately, she was so distracted by the granola that she forgot to keep the door open, but was quickly reminded when it slammed shut behind her.

"Huh?!" she gasped as she whipped her head around to look at the closed door. Immediately, she tried to open it, only to remember with a vengeance that this door automatically locked when it was closed. "No!" she cried out as she jerked on the door handle over and over, but not once did she pull it open.

She…she was trapped! Outside!

"Someone! Anyone! Open this door!"

Pacifica didn't want to be here. Yet, she found herself arriving backstage, specifically the room known as the green room, led by the suit-and-tie bodyguard.

Mikey was standing there, also in suit and tie, still with that ridiculous cartoon head over his. Though his suit was made to fit, the cartoon gloves and shoes he wore ruined the look. Very tacky if you asked her.

"I hope you're enjoying the show!" Mikey greeted her, the blonde girl coming to a stop in front of him. "We spared no expense just for you." The pounding of Main Street Men was dulled by the walls, but she could still pick out which song they were on and where they were in it.

It was Bigger Than Living, just so you know.

"I'm flattered," Pacifica replied, doing her damnedest to keep her snark in check. She didn't want this wannabe cartoon character to see she was still as defiant as ever. It would give everything away.

"As you should be." He paused, his eyes narrowing. "Do you have issues with our little show?"

"I don't like the fact I have to broadcast my impending breakup," she told him. "Dipper doesn't deserve that."

"Oh, no one does, but examples have to be made. I really hope you learn your lesson from this because I would hate to have to repeat it, ha ha!" Oh God, his laugh was just as squeaky as his voice! "And next time will be far worse than shattering some random boy's self-esteem and you shaving your head during a mental breakdown."

"How could this get any worse?" she grumbled to herself. She didn't mean for it to be heard, but unfortunately, those large mouse ears apparently weren't just for show.

"There's always a need for a sacrifice for corn harvest, ya know," Mikey told her.

"A what?"

"I said you don't want to find out because believe me, you'll never survive." He then leaned towards her. "Now, if everything goes according to plan, and it will because my plans are always flawlessly executed outside of the 80's."

Pacifica numbly nodded, a sad look on her face. Despite the counterplan she and the Pines twins had planned, they were still just kids going up against an international media conglomerate. These guys had effectively taken over the fondest childhood memories of a generation and were working hard on doing the same for the next and the next. A part of her had doubts that they would succeed.

"Aww, is something wrong with my teen idol?" Mikey asked. "C'mon, you can tell Uncle Mikey."

She really didn't want to talk to him at all. Yet, she couldn't help but say, "I really like this guy, you know? I know it's only been, like, three days, but if that isn't a fairy tale relationship like in your movies, I don't know what is."

"Oh, I see." For a split second, there seemed to be genuine sympathy on the man's face. "Well, I should have known that filling young children' s heads with fast relationships would alter their already moronic brains. Seriously, you believe love can happen that fast? How gullible are you?"

And the moment was ruined. "Let's, like, get this over with," she growled, crossing her arms over her chest, turning her head away so that she didn't look at him. She couldn't believe how disgusted she was with him, and she had held hands with a hillbilly!

It had taken a week's worth of washing to get the stench off of her hand.

"That's what I like to hear! Now, Main Street Men will play one more song and we'll dive right into the award's ceremony with yours being the first up. Any minute now, your fellow Micettes will be—"

"So, Dipper, do you like my dress?" Briana purred.

"Oh, that's so, like, last year," another girl answered for him, some little blonde girl that Dipper had no idea who her name was. There were so many Micettes after all and it was hard keeping track of them. This one had popped into Mabel's chair, leaving him surrounded on all sides, just as he had feared. "Mine is totes better than yours."

Briana narrowed her eyes into a scowl, one arm wrapping around Dipper's arm, the other across his shoulders. Alright, she was getting waaaay too close for his comfort.

"Heeeey, uhh, girls?" Dipper began, trying to figure out the best way to talk himself out of this situation. Vast vocabulary, don't fail him now! "I'm not into getting touched and you're starting to make me feel uncomfortable…"

"Ohhhhh, we don't want you to feel uncomfortable," Briana said, her tone low, thrilling, seductive. The arm wrapped around his own began to move, her hand sliding down it towards his leg. "To the contrary, I want you TO FEEL—"

She stopped, along with all the other Micettes who stared at her. Briana's eyes were wide, as if she had swallowed something and she wasn't certain if it was going down the right tube.

"That was…weird," the blonde girl next to him said after a moment.

"YEAH, THAT WAS CRAY-CRAY!" another Micette agreed before she let out a deep "EEP!" Her hands shot up to her mouth, clamping down on top of it, her eyes wide.

"You're doing it too!" a redhead Micette exclaimed.

"WHAT IS GOING ON?" Briana questioned, rubbing a hand on her throat. "WHY IS MY VOICE SO DEEP AND LOUD!"

Dipper couldn't have felt any more relief. Finally! The granola was kicking in! Now all he had to do was wait.

"THIS CAN'T BE MY VOICE!" one of the other Micette's shouted, which was drawing attention from the other tables. "I'LL, LIKE, KILL MYSELF!"

"Oh my GOD!" the blonde Micette next to Dipper gasped. "IS THIS, LIKE, SOME SORT OF DISEASE THAT'S SPREADING?!"

The Micettes all stared at each other, the ones that had yet to demonstrate the deep Grendinator voice. Fear appeared on their faces before they abruptly shoved themselves away from the table and took off running out of the ball room. As for the ones that had already changed, their eyes began to glisten with sparkling tears before they began crying.

"WHHHHHAAAAAAAAAA, I DON'T WANT TO SOUND LIKE MY DAD!" one of them cried out.

"WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME?! I'M AN IDOL! AN IDOOOOOOOL!"

And this was Dipper's ticket to getting the hell out of there. Seeing as the two closest Micettes weren't wrapping themselves around him anymore. Dipper slowly pushed his chair back and stood up.

"AND WHERE DO YOU THINK YOU'RE GOING?" Briana immediately demanded, her eyes flashing with anger.

"I was just…going…to the…bathroom?" Dipper lamely excused himself. Yeah, his vast vocabulary was doing a very good job in not giving him a proper excuse. Considering he was hoping to get away unnoticed, he clearly hadn't expected to be spotted within the first two seconds of his escape.

"WE AREN'T FINISHED YET." There was a determined look on the brunette Micette's face. It was clear that she had no intention of letting him get away even with her voice sounding deeper and manlier than his. When the heck would puberty stop making his voice crack anyways? Did he need to start eating the granola to finally get over that obstacle to manhood?

Then something quite frightening happened.

Briana leaned towards him, the familiar seduction move of her showing her cleavage to him drawing his eyes down for only a second—seriously, it was only one second! He couldn't help that his eyes were drawn to round orbs! Her eyes were penetrating, full of promise of things that any young boy blossoming into adolescence would dream of having happened to them. "I CAN GIVE YOU THE NIGHT OF YOUR LIFE IF YOU LIKE. I DON'T CARE WHERE IT HAPPENS."

Those words should have made every part of his brain that coordinated with attraction and—well, let's be blunt here—horniness light up with excitement. Instead, his guts twisted and turned, and any thought of attraction shriveled. He…he felt afraid.

Not only did it sound like he was being hit on by Grenda, but he was now remembering that deep voices weren't the only things Grenda was known for. Her freakish strength was another. With the seductive body language combined with the deep voice, and now admitting that this Briana girl could very well do whatever she wanted to him without his consent due to potential superhuman strength, and a sense of terror filled him.

So he did what any technical teenager would do.

He fled.

BANG! BANG! BANG!

"C'mon! Someone! Let me in!" Mabel cried as she pounded her fist against the door.

That door was keeping her out of the convention center, where she was desperately needed by her brother and his semi-quasi-most likely-girlfriend. And she was stuck…out…here!

Why was no one helping her? Did anyone hear her? Maybe if she banged her fist harder and faster?

BANG-BANG-BANG-BANG-BANG-BANG!

"Ow!" she yelped after several bangs. Her hand was starting to hurt! And she couldn't tell if someone heard her and was slowly, yet curiously approaching the door from the other side. Wait, was someone slowly, yet curiously approaching the door from the other side? What would they think if the banging stopped? No! She had to keep going! No matter what!

BANG! BANG! BANG!

"Please, someone let me in!" she cried out, hoping her unknown savior would do just that. Yet, the door didn't open, and she was still here, stuck where she couldn't be of help. Thoughts of Waddles leaving her for Dipper flooded her mind, her brother's words echoing in her head.

I really need your help on this, so I need the assurance that you'll be there for me.

Man, had Dipper been right about her bailing on him when he needed her help? Yeah, she had done it before, but those were for things out of her control. How was she supposed to know a sexy puppeteer was going to be at the library that day? Or that the Miceketeers would be at the beach when they went? Or…

Wow, maybe Dipper was onto something.

No! No, she would not abandon him, not now. She had to prove that she could be relied on!

"Umm, Miss?"

The brunette turned her head and saw the butler guy that worked for Pacifica. He just stood there ramrod straight, not looking the least bit disturbed that she had been pounding on a door for several minutes straight. "If it pleases you, I would like to point out that if you need to get inside, you can always run around to the front entrance," he pointed out to her.

"That will take too much time and I don't run all that good in heels!" Mabel answered. "This is the closest entrance and I just have to get in. Someone! If you can hear me! Help!"

"I see. If there is anything I can do to help, just say so."

"Awww, thank you," Mabel thanked him. He was a nice guy, wasn't he? Too bad he didn't happen to have superstrength and could punch a hole into the wall. Now that would have been helpful. What they really could have used was a radioactive muscleman who could bite one of them, give them super strength, and then they could punch their way in.

However, because she was looking at the butler, she noticed all of the granola still piled on the ground behind him. Staring at it, she was reminded that the granola had come from Grenda, and if Dipper was right, that was the source of Grenda's strength.

A plan was forming…

She had to get in. The only way in was locked and it was "too far" to go to the front of the building. There was granola that could make her super strong, yet it could frighten boys away if recent experience was any indication. Also, she had just detoxed off of the stuff and her brother didn't want her to relapse.

Her brother also needed her help desperately.

She knew what she had to do.

Quickly, Mabel hurried over to the granola. Once there, she plopped herself down on the ground and began shoving handfuls of the granola into her mouth, practically swallowing it whole without chewing.

"Uhh, Miss? May I ask what you're doing?" the butler asked.

"Helping Dipper and Pacifica!" she roared as she continued shoving the granola down.

"Ah, yes, very good, Miss."

Have you ever tried running away from an apex predator while trying not to draw attention to yourself? Yeah, it's as hard as it sounds.

Dipper had turned into the first hallway after leaving the main room and did his best to disappear. For whatever reason, the hallway was filled with people milling around, which was weird. Wasn't everyone supposed to be watching the night's entertainment? That's how these things worked, right?

Well, the boy hoped that their presence would help conceal him as he wormed his way through them. A few people spared him a glance and that was it. After he had moved around a few groups, he thought he was safe.

That turned out to be a very wrong thought.

Chancing a glance behind him, he saw Briana hot on his trail. She was power walking after him, not bothering to move around the other people. In fact, people got out of her way. They were literally parting to either side of the hallway while he was dodging left and right. It could have been the determined look that was on her face that threatened homicidal teenage girl thoughts.

That got Dipper into overdrive and he was bumping into and shoving his way through the crowd, which caused many people to snap and snarl after him. "Watch it, Buddy!" "You pushed me!" "Nice; real nice."

Of course, those voices quieted down when Briana strode by.

So now Dipper had no idea where he was going. All he knew was that he wanted this crazy girl off of his tail. Unfortunately, what he thought might have helped him was now hindering him, slowing him down, closing the distance between him and the storm cloud of a granola-enhanced teen idol.

Yeah, that sounded as terrifying to him as it did to you.

"Excuse me, passing through, gang way!" Dipper said out loud as he kept trying to bury his way through all these random people who—seriously, why weren't they watching the damn show? Were their conversations that good? Never mind, he was about to just give up all pretense of politeness when he came up to an intersecting hallway and he hauled butt into it.

This was relatively empty, and Dipper took advantage of the opportunity and took off running. Briana was closer to him than he thought, unfortunately, as he heard her voice bellow, "YOU CAN'T RUN AWAY FROM ME, BOY!"

Well, either Briana's Grenda Voice was just that loud, or she was practically right behind him. Dipper didn't turn his head to look in case she was breathing down his neck.

"More!" Mabel shouted as she continued to shove granola into her mouth.

"And that was Main Street Men!" the MC declared into the mike. "Give them another round of applause, folks!"

The applause filled the room, coupled with the screams of pubescent girls and some moms. There were even a few professions of love for the singers as they waved at the audience, walking off stage and right by Pacifica and Mikey Mice.

For a moment, Pacifica swooned at the pretty boys. After all, she was only flesh-and-blood, and these guys were hawt.

"You know, once you go through with the plan, you could have any one of them," Mikey pointed out, the annoying Jimmie Crickie in her ear. "I know at least one of them is single."

"Really?" the blonde girl questioned, perhaps a touch too interested before she had to mentally slap herself. No, now was so not the time to get distracted by eye candy, no matter how attractive that eye candy was. It wouldn't hurt to get one of their phone numbers, you know, so they could be work friends and stuff. That wasn't a crime, right?

"Hey guys, would you like to meet the next best idol?" Mikey called after them.

"Dude, she's like twelve and we're in our thirties," one of them called back, not even bothering to turn around and look at them.

OH God, they were older men and still hot like hell. This was pushing all of the right buttons for her.

Except for one little fact.

"I'm thirteen, thank you very much," she automatically snapped back.

"And I have a daughter your age," another one responded. "Which reminds me, I need to get to a PTA meeting."

Well…suddenly it wasn't so hot and steamy backstage. You might as well have poured a bucket of ice cold water on the Northwest girl. They were old and with kids. She was so not interested in being a step-mom or a side piece. A mistress though…

Yes, she did not consider a side piece and a mistress the same. One was more dignified and the other was just a hussy, a homewrecker, and poor. She was not a hussy, a homewrecker, or poor. Hot, sexy, and alluring, like a mistress, on the other hand…

"Well, this is your big moment," Mikey changed the subject then. "I hope you're ready."

"More!"

You know in horror movies how the serial killer is slowly stalking their prey as the soon-to-be-dead character tried to find a hiding place, any hiding place, and that slowed them down enough to get a machete stabbed through their head? Dipper suddenly found himself empathizing with those poor, sad, death-destined characters.

For some reason, he felt he was one of those characters rather than the survivor right now.

By running, he had managed to put some distance between him and the female predator in high heels stalking him. This allowed him to try every other door in the hallway to see if one was unlocked. The answer to that was no so far.

"I'M GOING TO GET YOU, PACIFICA'S BOYFRIEND! I WILL SHOW YOU THINGS SHE NEVER COULD IMAGINE! YOU'LL REALLY LIKE IT!"

Damn, Grenda's voice could make anything sound threatening! Desperation was setting in now, which was something no cannon fodder character could afford! Reaching another door, he was surprised that it was actually unlocked. Yanking it open, he darted into a room painted black. There were people here too, surprisingly, all of them dressed in black and wearing headsets on their heads. They were all walking with purpose, clearly focused on…whatever it was they were doing. Oddly enough, there was a towering curtain that made for a wall, maybe?

"What the hell is that Mikey Mice head wearing idiot trying to do?" someone not dressed in black muttered loud enough for Dipper to hear. "Do we look like child predators, yo?" There were five pretty boys storming towards him, wearing bright white clothing that…made them look like those Main Street Men guys. There were sour looks on their faces as they marched in his direction.

Dipper wisely chose to get out of their way by darting to his right, leaving the guys to pass single file through the doorway. In the meantime, Dipper had a hiding place to find.

"MORE!" Mabel roared, full blown mania twisting her face into something unrecognizable.

"My God!" the butler gasped. "No one eats that much granola and stays normal!"

As if to prove his point, the sound of cloth ripping could be heard.

"It's…too late…"

Dipper realized he had made an error.

See, this place with the curtain and the people in black were here for a reason. Somehow he had found backstage. He realized this the moment he caught sight of the stage, where Pacifica stood next to a podium, her boss next to her and behind said podium. Dipper had to pause as he stared at the strange sight of a grown man wearing a giant cartoon mouse head on his own, along with the shoes and gloves. You certainly didn't see that every day.

And his voice! It was so high-pitched, it was a mystery how it wasn't causing the microphone to squeal from the frequency!

Seriously, was this real?

Unfortunately, Dipper had stopped moving. When in a horror movie, if you weren't hiding, you had to be moving. If you stopped to look behind you, you were dead. That was practically horror movie law.

And unfortunately, that law was asserting itself with a vengeance.

"I FOUND YOU, LOVER BOY," Briana's voice came from behind him. This caused multiple crew members to shush her, not that she paid them any mind. She only had eyes for him.

"Eeep!" Dipper…eeped. He only spared a glance at the determined girl before he made a decision. See, he was officially out of running room, his only choices being to get mauled by Briana, or run on stage and put himself in view of every person and camera in the audience.

Personally, Dipper preferred door number three in this case, but he couldn't think of any other option.

So he darted for the stage. The hope was that by putting himself out in view of everyone, that would stop whatever Briana was trying to do to him. He could potentially play it off as him trying to support Pacifica on her big night, and Pacifica could run with that since she was an actress and all.

Unfortunately, he underestimated just how determined Briana was.

The girl leapt after him as he made his move. Her hands tried to grab onto his waist, but ended up latching onto the waistband of his pants. Gravity set in and she fell to the floor.

However, she never let go and Dipper was pretty certain the abnormal strength of the Grendinator family had officially kicked in because his belt didn't stand a chance. Down his pants came, pooling around his feet. This stopped him from being able to take an actual step. Momentum being momentum, however…

Yeah, that's right. Dipper went falling onto the stage, his pants around his ankles, his tighty-whities visible for everyone to see.

Oh, and he landed with a loud BANG! That's right, he had to make as much of a racket as possible to draw everyone's attention to him. The audience, the cameramen with their big studio cameras, Pacifica, and Mikey Mice.

Laying there on the floor, his face already burning red. Slowly, Dipper looked up. He didn't look at the audience. He didn't want to. He knew there would be hushed whispers, finger pointing, gasps of indignation—

"AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" someone in the audience screamed.

—screams of horror from unexpected nudity.

Dipper found himself looking straight ahead, which put him in line with Pacifica and her boss. The two were blinking their eyes in bewilderment at the sight of him in his underwear and Briana still clutching at his pants.

Pacifica then leapt into action, grabbing onto the long skirt she wore and held it up so that she didn't step on the hem. She hurried over to him, a worried look on her face, one that immediately erupted into anger the moment she saw Briana looking up at her.

"Like, what the hell do you think you're doing?!" she shouted as the blonde girl reached Dipper, kneeling down as she placed her hands on his shoulder. It was clear she was yelling at her fellow teen idol before concern immediately reappeared on her face as she looked down at Dipper. "Dipper, what's going on?"

"Despicable!" Mikey suddenly shouted into the microphone. "What is a boy doing with another girl when he's clearly dating our Idol of the Year!"

The two teens paled the moment they heard those words, the audience gasping in shock. "Answer me, boy!" Mikey continued. "Why do you have your pants down with another girl? Can you explain yourself?!"

"S-she was chasing me," Dipper began to stutter as he tried to push himself up. He was able to get onto his knees with Pacifica's help

"You convinced a girl, one of my other blossoming Micettes, to chase after you?!" Mikey yelled even louder. "What a scoundrel you are!"

"I can't believe I'm seeing this," someone in the audience gasped.

"You think you know a guy," someone else added. "He's got the luck of a leprechaun, and he blows it the first chance he gets!"

"Well, I never!"

Dipper could feel his heart sink into his guts. It…it was happening. This cartoon character was inciting the audience, making them believe whatever narrative he wanted to make, to force the planned breakup. Looking into Pacifica's eyes, he could see she had realized the same thing and she looked like she was about to cry.

"I can't believe what I'm seeing," Mikey just kept egging the audience on. "Pacifica! I'm so sorry for you! I can't believe your—"

Suddenly, there was a loud CRASH! Brick and mortar tore through the curtain hiding the backstage area, large enough pieces causing the curtain and its rail to fall to the floor below.

Now people were screaming for an entirely different reason.

Heads whipping around, Dipper couldn't help but gasp in sync with Pacifica. A massive hulk-like creature came storming onto the stage, towering over anyone and everyone. Muscles that would have made Manly Dan weep from jealousy could be seen. Pink stripes of clothes looked as if they would tear at any moment, which were the only things covering intimate places on the person. Long, curly brown hair stuck in every which direction, not doing anything to hide the look of a raging bull on the creature's face.

A face that Dipper couldn't help but recognize as a roided out Mabel.

Oh God, that was Mabel, wasn't it. What had she done to herself?!

Then, in a voice deeper than the Celtic druids themselves, the massively hulking Mabel bellowed.

"MABEL SMASH!"

To Digit: You could see the instant regret on Pacifica's face when Dipper confronted them in that episode. Unfortunately, there wasn't much more of Pacifica in the show to explore that, but one would like to think it's something in the back of her head.