The ownership of all characters related to and involving the novels of The Vampire Academy and Bloodlines Series remain the sole property of Richelle Mead, the Penguin Group and any affiliates.

No copyrights have been infringed on maliciously.

A/n: Thank you for the reviews! It was wonderful to hear from everyone again. I especially LOVE how passionate you all. It's immensely gratifying as a writer (even if they aren't my characters) to get that kind of reaction. I will try and update every second Sunday. Enjoy.

A Conflict of the Soul

Chapter Seven

"Try the chocolate soufflé, Dimka…just a little. For me?"

Shaking my head, I refused the spoon Tasha was trying to offer over the table and popped the last of the grapes into my mouth. She had been trying to coax me into ordering dessert since the plates of the main meal had been cleared away, but I had instead opted for a cheese and fruit platter.

Still determined, Tasha arched a slender brow and waggled the spoon enticingly at me as I shook my head again. Giving up, she shrugged before grinning. "All right, but it's your loss." Closing her eyes in pleasure, she savoured the creamy, richness of the dessert before the bright-blue of them flared open in the candlelight and she winked. "You really don't know what you're missing."

Chuckling at her left, Christian cracked the caramelized crown of his crème brulee with the back of his spoon. "You're lucky she offered you a spoonful at all, Dimitri. Usually I have to fight tooth and nail to get anything sweet out of her. The last time I tried, I was fifteen, and tried to filch a macaroon. I still have the bite mark."

Holding up a hand untouched by any teeth, Lissa laughed at his expression of mock despair as Tasha shook her spoon at him in warning. "That is absolute nonsense, Christian. I have never denied you anything, much less a macaroon. I share everything with you."

"And if you asked nicely, Belikov, I'm sure Tasha would share everything with you."

Angling my head slightly to the right, the snide comment was lost in the noise of aunt and nephew arguing playfully with each other. Resting indolently against the chair, Adrian drained the last of his drink. Holding it up as a signal for the hovering waiter, it was refilled almost immediately. Winking at me before drinking deeply, Adrian didn't seem to take any notice of my narrowed glare…or if he did, he was already too drunk to care.

Baiting me since I had sat down, the barbs had been subtle at first and as expected, all about Rose. He knew that there was friction between us, and took great delight in trying to exploit it by goading me about his awareness of our relationship. How much he knew about the cause of that friction, I didn't know, but he wasn't stupid, and I wasn't about to give him anything else he could use against me.

Ignoring him at first, his drinking had steadily increased the more frustrated he became with my lack of response. Now the barbs were no longer subtle or quiet. The others hadn't taken much notice of them yet, but that wouldn't last long if he continued.

Swirling the dark amber of his drink, he smirked mockingly. "What is it about you that they all seem to want, Belikov? You're good looking enough; I'll give you that, but what else is there? You're a guardian; you have no real money or assets. You will serve the Moroi for the rest of your life, and if you live to old age, you're pensioned off to live the rest of your existence in feeble obscurity. You have nothing."

Except for the one thing that you want, I thought grimly, struggling to hold onto my fraying temper at his scorn with a life he would never understand. "I'm sure I couldn't say."

Sneering at my bland answer, Adrian spoke over the rim of his glass. "Can't or won't?" When his answer was met with only silence, he laughed humourlessly. "You are a slippery bastard, aren't you? But there are always ways around that. Maybe I should just ask Tasha? Would she tell me, do you think? Maybe then if I knew, I could ask Rose and compare the answers."

"You're more than welcome to try, but I wouldn't hold my breath." My voice was pleasantly neutral, but there was no mistaking the aggression of my body language.

"Sure of yourself, aren't you?" He asked snidely.

"Sure of her."

"Even now?" Reaching out, his long fingers plucked at a raspberry on the platter. Popping it into his mouth, he tilted his head. "Tell me…how does she feel about Tasha being here? I can't imagine she's very happy about it." Glancing over to her, she was still talking animatedly with Christian and Lissa. The communication, if you could call it that, between Adrian and I, was almost unheard of by the others.

"How Rose feels is none of your business, Adrian."

"Of course it is. I'm a concerned friend."

"We both know that friendship is not what you want from Rose…and we both know that friendship is all she will ever offer you."

Delivered softy, but with the efficiency of a dart, Adrian's jaw clenched at the viciousness of my own barb. It was a low blow. I knew that, and probably shouldn't have used it, but my patience for his attitude had officially run out. Drumming his fingers agitatedly against the tablecloth, he nodded slowly. "You're right. It's not what I want from her, but you're also wrong. If friendship is all that she's offering, then I'll take it because it's better than nothing."

"And I'm supposed to believe that?"

Leaning closer suddenly, there was intense intent in his dark green eyes, and it made me realise that he wasn't nearly as drunk as I had thought. "Believe what you want, Belikov. Just understand that if you're stupid enough not to know what you've got, don't expect the rest of us to wait around until you figure it out."

"What are you two talking about so secretively?"

"Rose." Adrian answered flatly, sitting back and draining his glass before chewing sullenly on a carrot stick and staring broodily across the room.

"Oh," Tasha grinned mischievously. "I should have known you would be interested, Adrian. You'd have to be blind not to be."

"Being blind isn't my problem, Tasha, but apparently it's something that other's suffer from." Signalling the waiter again, he switched poisons with a colourless liquid that was easily identified as vodka. Frowning at his choice of words, Tasha watched as he continued to drink deeply but said nothing before turning to Lissa.

"I'm sorry Rose and Eddie couldn't join us."

"The curfew is pretty strict; Kirova wouldn't allow it. Actually, I'm surprised that Christian and I were allowed out at all." Smiling apologetically, there was a wisp of concern to Lissa's delicate features. "Maybe it's a good thing Rose isn't here, though. She needs a good night's sleep. It's been a long day…and a long week. Also, she's been a little…off the last few days."

"We'll that's understandable." Tasha sympathised. "So much has happened. She must be exhausted, both mentally and physically. I still can't believe what she did…what both of you did." Smiling warmly at her nephew, Christian shook his head.

"I didn't do much, Tash. It was all Rose."

"She said the same thing about you when I talked to her earlier. I think you're both remarkable, but are too modest to take any credit for it. Don't dismiss what you did with her, Christian. You've set an example now, be proud of that."

Chewing on a piece of caramel, Christian didn't answer, but there was a faint flushing along the ridge of his cheekbones that highlighted the paleness of his skin. He would play it down, but his aunt's praise meant a great deal to him.

"Maybe you can get Rose to teach you a few defensive manoeuvres…or Dimitri." Tasha suggested suddenly, smiling broadly between us. "Rose is a glowing example of how good a teacher he is, Christian."

"Yeah," Adrian added suggestively, beginning now to slur. "Belikov's been teaching her all sorts of things."

"Hold on, Tash." Christian interrupted quickly, paying no attention to Adrian's drunken ramblings. "I flambéed a few Strigoi. I didn't actually kill any; that was Rose. Besides, the academy isn't going to allow us to be taught how to actually fight, even if we want to. After what Dimitri said earlier about the enquiry, none of the guardians would teach us anyway. They're going to be under more scrutiny than before."

"Rose isn't a guardian yet. She won't be under the same kind of scrutiny." Tasha argued, eyes gleaming brightly as she saw that her nephew couldn't argue around this. "I'll talk to her about it. I'm sure she'll agree if I ask her."

"I wouldn't bet on it." Muttering beneath his breath, Adrian slide a sly look across the table in my direction.

"Dimka, didn't you say something about it being her birthday next week?"

"Yeah, the 21st," Lissa answered before I could. "Why do you ask?"

"We should do something for her, don't you think?"

Fiddling with what was left of her strawberry crepe, Lissa scooped up a spoonful of cream. "Absolutely. I was thinking about a party. Something small, just with a few of us. She's not really going to be in the mood to celebrate her birthday, and it's not like we would be allowed into town to buy her presents, but I think we should do something anyway."

"A surprise party?"

"Maybe."

"Won't she know? You two are linked, aren't you?"

"I can keep it from her if I concentrate hard enough. I'm also back on my meds, so it dulls the link a little, which would help." Biting into a strawberry, Lissa ran her tongue over her teeth to clean away the seeds before licking at a stray drop of juice at the corner of her mouth. "Maybe I can talk to the kitchen staff about baking a cake? It doesn't have to be anything special. Rose is never fussy when it comes to sugar."

"Would they?"

Smiling cheekily, Lissa's light green eyes twinkled at Tasha. "I'm sure I could persuade them."

Spooning up the last of her soufflé, Tasha nodded in ready agreement. "How about having it here? I'm sure that housing wouldn't mind. Do you think that Janine will still be around next week? I'm sure that she would want to stay for her daughter's birthday."

"I don't think she'll be here that long."

"Oh," Tasha sighed. "That's too bad."

"And…it's probably for the best that she isn't here, Tasha."

All turning to her, Lissa grimaced a little at the sudden attention her comment had created. "Wow, that didn't sound great, did it?" Fidgeting with her plate, she pushed it away and sat back in her seat. "Rose and her mom have never seen eye to eye, but over the last few days, their relationship seems to have gone from bad to worse. I don't know why, and when I ask Rose, she brushes it aside, saying that it's nothing new, just the normal dysfunction of their relationship, but there's more to it. I haven't pushed it, because every time I do she gets upset, but something's happened…something really bad."

Understanding Lissa's concern for her best friend, I shared it, but felt no real compassion towards Janine Hathaway. For the trouble she had caused, she deserved what she got, but what I did feel for was the lack of any real parental role model for Rose. My own father had been as inconsistent in my life as Janine, but at least I had my mother, sisters and grandmother.

Who did Rose have?

"I didn't realise it was so bad between them," Tasha murmured. "I mean it was obvious enough in Idaho for me, and outsider to see, but I always just assumed that it was nothing more than normal mother/daughter squabbling. Surely, she would still want to be here?"

"I doubt it. She never stays for very long. I think they've seen each other more in the past six month, then the six years before it. Janine is very career orientated. She'll want to get back to the Zeklos she protects. Rose," pausing, Lissa's gentle features hardened for a moment. "Rose has never been a priority for her."

Taking sip of apple cider, I hid the frown created by Lissa's words in the depths of the glass whilst Tasha shook her head incredulously, "But Rose is her daughter…even if they were fighting, she would want what's best for her, wouldn't she?"

"Tash…I don't know what to tell you. I know that you find it hard to believe, but that's just always been the nature of their relationship. It was why my mom was so protective of Rose, why she was always with us. Why we were her family. I'm sure that Janine wants what's best for Rose, but I think that she wants what's best for Janine a little more."

Looking down at her plate, Lissa's discomfort was palpable. At her side, Christian tactfully changed the subject to one that was safer. Tasha took the hint, and joined in, but it seemed as though she had more questions than answers.

She wasn't the only one.

Rolling a blueberry between my fingertips, I only distantly heard the conversation floating around me; my mind focusing instead on what Lissa had said about Janine. It wasn't in Lissa's nature to be harsh or critical of anyone, so hearing her speak so unfavourably about Rose's mother was very unusual. We all knew how protective Lissa was of Rose, so maybe it shouldn't have been surprising, but there was something in the way that she had said it that made me think it wasn't just about a protective instinct.

Mulling over it as the crockery and cutlery were whisked away, I tried to rejoin the general conversation, but my head wouldn't let it go; repeating it over and over again until it felt like it was all I could think about. There was something to this…some niggle at the back of my mind that wouldn't be ignored, because it didn't make any sense.

The Janine that Lissa was describing was not the Janine that I thought she was.

Deciding to ask her about it on the way back to housing, I wouldn't have to wait much longer, and for that I was glad. It had been a long day and would be an even longer night. Sleep wouldn't be easy coming, but at least when it was over and dawn had broken, I would be a little closer to Rose. What would happen when I saw her, I didn't know, but I couldn't go on like this anymore.

Yawning delicately, Lissa collected her coat from the back of the chair and shrugged into it as she stood. It was only a little after ten, but I didn't think she would be able to keep her eyes open for much longer. She and the others were still finding it difficult to adjust to the change in schedule.

"Are you leaving so soon?"

Standing beside Lissa, Christian donned his own coat as I rose with him. "Yeah, we need to get back to housing, Tash, but thanks for the meal. It was really great. And you're here for a few days, so we can do it again." Nodding enthusiastically, Lissa reached out to hug her, talking quietly to each other whilst Christian nodded at Adrian.

Holding up his glass in a mocking salute, his gaze was sardonic, but when he turned to me, the scorn in his eyes was replaced by something I didn't understand. Thinking back to what he had said earlier about not knowing what I had because I was too blind to see it, it felt as though he as trying to tell me something, but with Adrian, I could never be sure if it was something genuine or not.

Winking at Lissa, he remained seat, and continued to drink. Collecting my jacket, Tasha walked us out of the dining room and down the long, central passageway to the lobby. Hugging his aunt, Christian pushed open the doors and ushered Lissa out in the chilly night. Pausing just inside the doors, Tasha turned to me with a knowing smile.

She had been well behaved through dinner, but dinner was over now and I knew what was coming. It was why what I was about to do was unpleasant, but it had to be done. Tasha needed to understand that there was nothing more than friendship between us, even if it wasn't something she wanted to hear. I didn't want Rose hurt by any further misunderstandings about my relationship with her.

She might not be her mother's priority, but she was still mine.

Trying to push gently past Tasha, she wouldn't let me leave completely. Standing together in the threshold of the doorway, she smiled up at me whilst I kept as much distance between our bodies. "Thank you for dinner, Tasha."

"You're welcome, Dimka."

Hooking a finger through the button loop of my jacket, she drew me closer by an inch before my hand covered hers. Prying loose her fingers and taking a step back, she was left in the doorway and I was left with no time. "Tasha…I am happy to see you, and I'm glad that you're here for Christian, but you have to understand that there isn't going to ever be anything other than friendship between us."

Smiling uncertainly, there was worry in her eyes as she folded her arms across her chest and rested against the doorway. "I know that you said because of Lissa you couldn't, but she's still at the academy, surrounded by guardians, and…"

"No, Tasha. I'm sorry." Glancing over my shoulder, Lissa and Christian had wandered off down the pathway leading back to housing, and I didn't want them walking in the dark alone. "I have to go. Thank you again for dinner. Good night." Brushing a curl from her ear, I ran the back of my finger down her unmarred cheek before turning away at the crushing disappointment I could see.

Catching up to the pair, they were quietly talking, but included me in the conversation as I fell into place beside Lissa. Unaware of what had just happened, Christian was already making plans for Tasha and I to be included in during her stay here, and I didn't have the heart to tell him that none of them would be happening.

Waiting for the subject to run its course, I used the first lull in the conversation to ask the question that had been playing on my mind for the better part of an hour. "Lissa…you said something earlier to Tasha about Janine that I wanted to ask about."

Looping her arm through Christians, the look she gave me was wary. "I shouldn't have said anything, Dimitri. It's really none of my business."

"Of course it's your business. Rose is your best friend." Tucking Lissa closer to his side, Christian frowned at her. Smiling gently at him, she kissed his cheek and leaned against him. Passing dhampir housing, our heads all turned to the dark building and the person who slept inside of it.

Sighing quietly, Lissa turned to me. "What is it you want to know, Dimitri?"

"The way you were talking about Janine…you made it sound like her like her motives are selfish. That she's only ever been interested in what's best for her, and not what's best for Rose."

"Yeah, I made it sound like that, because that's exactly what she's like."

Staggered by the conviction in her voice, my mouth was dry as I swallowed roughly. "But that can't be right, Lissa. That's not the woman I know. The woman I know was terrified for her daughter's safety…in Spokane, the caves, even after we were safely on academy grounds. The woman I know loves her daughter, so surely she would only want what's best for her?" Sounding bewildered to my own ears, the niggle in my head suddenly found its way into my heart. Something was very wrong here…something that I desperately needed to understand.

"Are you sure you really know her, Dimitri?" Stopping at the steps of her dorm, Lissa frowned. "Look, I'm not saying that Janine doesn't love Rose. I'm sure that she does, on some level, that she has a hard time expressing, but what you have to remember is that having Rose wrecked her reputation, and almost wrecked her career."

"It's why she's so hard on her now. Not just because she doesn't want her to repeat her mistakes, but also, if Rose does something that jeopardises her chances of being a guardian, it will reflect badly on Janine. That's what her main concern is. It's what her main concern has always been. Janine's motives are Janine-centric and if that's the case, Dimitri, how could she possibly want or know what's best for daughter?"

Looking out again towards dhampir housing, Lissa spoke quietly. "It's why Rose needs us…you, me, Christian, Eddie…even Adrian. We're the people she trusts. We're the people that know her the best, the people that love and protect her. Janine is the just the person that gave birth to her."

Met with silence in the seconds that followed, Lissa looked at me oddly. "Why all the sudden interest in Janine? Has something happened?"

Forcing myself to speak, the words sounded strange to my ears. "Just curious. We had a conversation about Rose a few days ago that left me a little…confused."

"Oh. Well, I hope that I was able to clear things up."

"You were, Lissa. Thank you. Good night…Christian." Waiting only until they were barely through the lobby doors, I sat unsteadily onto the half-wall bordering the flower bed. Resting my elbows on my knees, the fingers I sank into my hair were shaking.

What had I done?

Everything I thought I knew…everything I had based my decision on was wrong.

I had believed that what I was doing was right, because it was the best for Rose, but it wasn't, and Janine, the consummate actress, had realised that. She had played on my guilt to manipulate the situation to her advantage by encouraging me to drive a wedge between us, and I had fallen for it hook, line and sinker. Rose had known what her mother was doing all along, and I hadn't listened, instead, I had chosen to allow myself to be used to hurt her; thinking only of how this might affect Rose in the future, instead of thinking about what it would do to her now.

It was what my heart had been trying to tell my head as I watched her walk away from me in the forest, only I hadn't listened to that either.

How could I have been so blind, so gullible…so stupid?

Clutching tightly at my temples, the realisation that I had allowed Janine to get inside my head was lost in the misery of knowing that I had betrayed Rose and jeopardised our relationship not simply because I had listened to her, but because I hadn't trusted my own instincts…and because I hadn't trust Rose enough to know hers.

Hunched over, my anguished gaze found dhampir housing in the distance, and the dark window of Rose's room. What could I say to her tomorrow that would make this right? I could explain…I could apologize…I could make promises that she would listen to and someday might believe and I could ask for her forgiveness, but would she ever give me the one thing that I wanted the most?

Her trust…