The ownership of all characters related to and involving the novels of The Vampire Academy and Bloodlines Series remain the sole property of Richelle Mead, the Penguin Group and any affiliates.

No copyrights have been infringed on maliciously.

A/n: Day 23 of a government mandated lock-down, and I still can't find the time to write. Happy belated Easter, everyone!

A Conflict of the Soul

Chapter Fourteen

"You awake?"

"Hmmm."

"Are you sure?" Rose nudged gently…insistently.

Chuckling, one arm tightened around her shoulders, whilst the other pulled the warm, leather folds of the replacement duster closer, trying to protect her from the icy wind. Snuggling deeper against my side, Rose ran her fingers teasingly along my ribs through the thick knit of the sweater, trying to tickle me into answering her.

"Dimitri?" Prodding me with a finger that was no longer gentle, my head tilted to the side as my eyes opened and I smiled at her impatient expression.

"Yes, Roza. I'm awake."

"Barely." She grumbled, shifting into a more comfortable position against the tufts of spring grass and wildflowers. Lying together at the bottom of a grassy knoll only a few miles from the entrance gates, we were far from the prying eyes of anyone who might be looking, and there wouldn't be many of those. The arrival of the cold front just after midnight had brought in bitterly cold weather that kept anyone not on duty safely indoors.

"Forgive me," I apologized with lazy sincerity, closing my eyes again; enjoying what little warmth there was from the weak rays penetrating through the streaky clouds. It wasn't much, but it warded off the worst of the chill. "I haven't had much sleep in the last week or so and I only got to bed in the early hours of this morning."

"Really? What kept you awake?" Rose asked innocently, nudging my chest with her chin. I didn't need to open my eyes to know that she was smiling, or that what I was about to say would turn it into a scowl.

"My girlfriend…she snores terribly."

Thumping me vengefully in the stomach, I wheezed out a laugh on a whoosh of air. "I do not snore, Dimitri Belikov!" Rose ranted, pushing herself up onto her knees and pummelling my chest. Grabbing her hands, I restrained her as gently as I could, wrestling lightly with her for a minute before pulling her down to my chest again.

"How do you know?" I reasoned agreeably, enjoying her squirming as she tried to free herself. "I'm the only person you've slept with."

"You let me sleep for half an hour. That's not long enough for any snoring."

"It was more than enough actually. In fact, because of it, I've begun to re-evaluate our entire relationship."

"Oh, yeah?" Rose asked dangerously as I released her. Propping herself up on my chest, she glared down at my wide grin. "And what have you decided?"

Adopting a martyred look, I sighed and sadly shook my head. "That even though the snoring, for a weaker man, might be a deal breaker, I stronger than most and I love you, so I'm willing to overlook it."

"How magnanimous of you."

Trying hard not to grin at her cutting sarcasm, I repeated. "Mag-nan-i-mous." Slowly sounding out each syllable, as though the word confused me, I deliberately thickened my accent to draw out the pronunciation. "I've never heard this word before. English is still very confusing for me, Roza. You must use small words, not this mag-nan-i-mous. What does it mean?"

"That you're screwing with me."

"Would I do that?"

"Not normally, no, but like I said last night, you're picking up all my bad habits…one of which, is not snoring!"

Chuckling at her flat retort, my arms tightened around her. No, she didn't snore, but as I discovered last night, she did make some interesting noises while she slept.

Allowing Rose only a short nap, I had woken her to dress just after midnight, and managed to sneak her back into housing without any questions being asked. Worn-out, but feeling oddly energized, I had wandered aimlessly around the campus for a while; not really thinking about much, just enjoying the feeling of being completely at peace. It had been the cold that had eventually chased me indoors, and once there, the exhaustion had finally caught up with me.

Exploiting the rare occasion of having a day off, I had slept in and barely made it to breakfast before the food was cleared away. Rushing through the meal and anxious to find Rose before she was lost in the crowd of churchgoers, the walkways had been filled with Moroi and dhampir alike; all of them heading for the small chapel and Father Andrew's guidance.

Spotting her standing to the side of the entrance with Konrad, Lissa, Christian, Tasha and Eddie, my arrival had made Kon's eyes gleam with mischief. Teasing me for being late as we walked into the church, the others had joined in and it hadn't stopped until the priest had begun the service. Deliberately manoeuvring so that I sat beside Rose, we had been careful not to draw attention to ourselves, but our heightened physical awareness of each other made it difficult to stop from touching each other and throughout the service, our hands had been linked by the coupling of our little fingers.

Gathering outside the chapel to talk after the service, Rose and I had only a moment alone, but there was no real privacy with the others around, and so we had agreed to meet at the cabin after Kon had left. Lingering for a little longer, the cold had eventually become too much, and the group had left, leaving me with Konrad. Still goading me, his baiting hadn't affected my good mood, and eventually he'd given up.

Wanting to say goodbye to Father Andrew before he left, Kon and I had found him seeing off the last of his parishioners, one of whom had been Emil. Having lost the washed-out look of grief, there was still a sadness that lingered about him, but he was better than before. Also off duty, we invited him to join us as we headed back to housing; spending the morning in the rec-room. Still too mellow to be competitive, I had played a few rounds of pool before sitting back and relaxing, watching with amusement as they tried trump each other over poker. Too evenly matched, they had eventually called it quits just before lunch.

Seeing Konrad off an hour later on the academy tarmac, I had taken the long-way around to get to the cabin; avoiding anyone on patrol. Already waiting for me, Rose had been perched on an old wooden fence that had once circled the cabin but had long since fallen apart. Standing between the v of her legs, she had curled her arms around my shoulders as I curled mine around her hips, kissing with hungry desperation.

Knowing if we continued much longer we would end up inside the cabin, we had instead opted for a long, slow walk around campus, fairly certain that we wouldn't be looked for. Lissa and Christian were spending the day with Tasha. I had left Emil with Stan in the rec-room. Eddie, tired from staying behind last night to help with the cleaning, had crashed after lunch, and Adrian, notably absent from the service, presumably due to a hangover, had never materialized.

Sticking to the woods as much as possible, we had slowly circumnavigated the grounds; talking and walking around before finding a place to rest on the hill we still lay on. Uncharacteristically quiet, I looked down at Rose; my fingers catching on her braid before tugging gently.

"What are you thinking about?"

"The day that you found me outside and asked what I wanted for my birthday. Do you remember?"

I did. I had asked the question in an attempt to lighten the mood when finding her outside during daylight hours, but it had only made things worse as Rose revealed that it wasn't the material she wanted most for her birthday, but something she could never have, something we both wanted but could never have…each other.

Hugging her tighter, I rested my chin on her head. Things were different now, but I still didn't want her dwelling on anything painful. "I remember. Are you happy with what you got?" I teased.

Chuckling softly at the memory of last night, Rose nodded. "Yeah…all my presents were great, but that wasn't what made me think about it."

"What made you think about it?"

"Something Father Andrew said during his sermon this morning."

Frowning, I thought back to what he had said. Speaking about appreciation, he had asked every member of his congregation to always remember the lives lost and the sacrifices made, but to never lose sight of the importance of appreciating the small things in life. It was all fairly standard for the priest, so I didn't know what it was about this sermon that had stuck out for her.

"What was that?"

"I have a lot to appreciate, but I can't help feeling guilty because of it."

"Why?"

"Because I'm alive and so many aren't."

Sighing quietly, all I did for a moment was hold her tighter. "It's understandable that you would feel that way, but ultimately it's self-defeating. You aren't responsible for anyone's death; you can't go back and change what's happened, and if you let the guilt cripple you now, you will never be able to help from preventing it happening again. Its survivor's guilt, Roza, and you're stronger than it."

"You told me the same thing after Spokane."

"And did you listen to me then?"

"Yes."

"Are you going to listen to me now?"

"Yes."

Smiling at her grumble, my lips feathered across her hairline. "Good. Did you confirm with Lissa and Christian for tomorrow morning?" I asked, deliberately changing the subject.

"Yeah. I said you would pick them up again; same time. Tasha confirmed that she can stay for another week before she has to return to Minneapolis, so we have to use what we have for as long as we have it. Let's start with the gym first, then go from there. When do you think we'll be back on regular schedule?"

"Hard to say. Probably another week or so. A month at most probably. The faster we return to some sense of normalcy, the faster the students will be able to settle down. Not even the Council can argue with that." There were still a few notable absences from a few of the Royal's, and there was a chance that they might never return, but for the most part, the academy was almost back to full capacity.

"Speaking of, do you think they'll still want Alberta to appear before a committee hearing at Court?"

Nodding, my fingers continued to play with her braid. "Sadly, yes. They're still going to want their pound of flesh…and I'm fairly certain that I'll be going with her."

"Because they want more people to blame?" Rose muttered sourly.

"No, because Alberta submitted my request to be reassigned before the attack and told me this morning that I should expect my official summons to Court within weeks."

Finding me leaving the tarmac, her weathered features were still pinched with fatigue, but there was something about the tight line of her mouth that had made me wary. Asking me to walk with her, she had grimly informed me that Hans had received my request and was less than happy with it, but that it wasn't too late to reconsider and withdraw the request. Hearing the hope in her voice that I might have changed my mind, I hadn't been able to give her the answer she had wanted to hear.

Alberta had no way of knowing what had happened last night, and even if it hadn't, it wouldn't have altered my original decision.

Sitting up a little against my chest, Rose looked down at me with worry in her eyes. "Maybe you should reconsider, comrade. There's no guarantee that I'll be assigned to Lissa after graduation, and if you're already assigned to someone else, it means her protection is going to be left to dhampir who don't know her; dhampir she wouldn't trust. Also…what if they reassign you somewhere outside of the States as punishment?"

"They won't. Alberta has already given me advice on how to convince them. They'll ask me where I want to be assigned, and I'll tell them Court. They won't see that as a punishable request because guarding the Royal seat of our world is more important than protecting a single member of it, and trust me when I say this…you will be assigned to Lissa. It might not have been a certainty before the attack, even with the advantage of the bond, but since then, no one will be able to argue that you aren't the best choice for her."

Kissing her softly, my mouth moved over hers in a whisper. "This is the only way we can publically be together after graduation, Roza. I knew that when I made the request, and I'm as prepared now as I was then for whatever happens. Everything will be alright."

"And if it isn't? What if we're still separated?" She challenged just as quietly, wanting to believe me, but still fearful that at the end of everything we had already been through, there would be nothing that could be done to stop that from happening.

"We've overcome worse…we'll overcome that too." It was all the reassurance I could give her.

Blowing out a frustrated puff of air, Rose scowled. "You know? Sometimes your pearls of wisdom just piss me off."

Chuckling, I didn't answer and settled back down again, closing my eyes; feeling the grass tickling my jaw and outer ear. The wind was steadily growing colder and it was already late in the afternoon. We wouldn't be able to stay for much longer. Feeling her curl up against me again, Rose picked at a wildflower and stroked it along my jaw.

"At least you'll get to see Konrad when you go."

"Hmmm."

"What did you two do after church?"

"Kept him entertained in the rec-room with Emil until lunch and then saw him off on the tarmac. He asked me to say goodbye for him."

"I'm sorry that I didn't get to spend more time with him. He was awesome." Laughing at my expression, Rose kissed my chin. "Oh, come on. You had fun with him last night."

"No more than you, and most of it was at my expense."

"True." Grinning slyly, Rose scratched her nails over my chest. "He asked me when we were waiting outside the church if you had…how did he put it, 'worked me out last night?'. I almost swallowed my tongue before I realised he meant going to the gym to get rid of my sugar high."

Groaning, I rubbed my hand over my face. "What was your answer?"

"Well, I told the truth. I said that you had worked me out and that by the time I got back to housing; I could barely keep my eyes open." Peeling my hand away from my face, her smile was wickedly taunting as she leaned down to kiss me. "Was that a lie?"

"I don't know who worked who out last night…I woke up this morning with aches in muscles I didn't know I had."

"Aww…do you want me to kiss them better?"

"That would only make them ache worse, moye serdtse."

Laughing throatily, Rose tilted her head up. Closing her eyes, she basked in the sun for a moment before a frown puckered between her bros. "Why did you really invite Konrad last night? I know part of it was because he was leaving today and you wanted to spend more time with him, but that doesn't seem like the only reason."

"Diversion."

Saying only that, it didn't take long for Rose to figure out what I meant. "Ah…Tasha." Frowning again, she gave me a mocking look. "It didn't work very well."

"No, it didn't. He's involved with someone at Court, so it wasn't the best thought out plan. I was hoping that he would flirt with her at the very least and it would be enough to keep her occupied, because he usually can't help himself, but that just didn't happen. It's obviously more serious than I thought."

"Who's he seeing at Court?"

"He won't tell me."

"Really? Why?"

"Because I think it's Mia."

Sitting up, Rose stared down at me with wide eyes. "Mia Rinaldi?" Tossing away the wildflower, she shook her head in amazement. "We had an entire conversation last night about him training her, and never once did he do or say anything that would have given him away."

"If it is Mia, and I'm assuming it is, he's very careful of protecting not only himself, but her as well. You can understand why, can't you?" Their situation wasn't much different from our own. She would know exactly the kind of dangers they faced.

"Yeah." Sighing, Rose said nothing as she rested against my chest again. Fiddling with the sleeves of her jacket, she pulled them further down her arms to cover her wrists from the cold. All but bare, it was only the Chotki that I could see.

"Where are your bracelets?"

"In my room. As beautiful as they are, they're really heavy; they make my wrists ache. I can't wear them for very long, and I certainly can't wear them to train or during a normal school day." Pulling the flap of the duster tighter around her, Rose watched the pine trees in the distance sway with the wind. "The prep work for trials is going to be hard, isn't it?"

"Yes." Nestling her against my side, I circled the flat of my palms gently over her upper back. "Those dummies are only the beginning of it. What the Council has planned for the seniors will test all of you, both mentally and physically, but after the way every single one of you handled yourselves during and after the attack, I have no doubt that you'll all succeed. I don't want you to worry about it, alright?"

"Oh, I'm not worried about trials."

Chuckling almost against my will at Rose's nonchalance, I shook my head. "Why aren't you worried about trials?"

"Because I'm me, and I have you for an instructor, so why would I be?"

"That sounds a little like arrogance, Roza."

"Hey, you're the one who keeps telling me I'm formidable. If I'm arrogant, it's your fault." Curling her arms around my neck, Rose smiled against my neck. "There is one thing that I should do before trials start, and you're not going to like it."

"With you, that could be anything. What is it?"

"Cutting my hair."

Stiffening against her, every part of me recoiled at the thought of her hair being sheared off. I loved the smell of it…the feel of it…the warmth of it. I loved the way it clung to my fingers, or billowed in the wind, or flicked about when she tossed her head. I didn't want her to cut even an inch off of it, but I also didn't have the right to stop her if that was what she wanted.

Watching me like a predator with cornered prey, Rose arched a brow before catching the end of the thick braid, swinging it over her shoulder and looking down at it thoughtfully. "I think I have the right bone structure for a pixie cut, don't you? It's easy and quick to deal with, but there's still enough hair to do something with it if I want."

Tossing the braid back over her shoulder, Rose plucked at a piece of wool on my sweater. "You look a little pale, comrade."

"I'm fine." I lied evenly, feeling the sweat on my upper lip and the back of my neck chill in the breeze.

Grinning knowingly, Rose patted my chest. "You are allowed to say something about it, you know? If you wanted to cut your hair, I would have a strong opinion about it and I wouldn't be shy about telling you."

"You're never shy about anything, Rose."

"Agreed, stop changing the subject."

Sighing, I caught at her hand on my chest and squeezed gently. "I don't want you to cut your hair, but that's not my choice to make."

"No, it's mine, but you're my boyfriend, so you do get a say."

"So if I asked you not to cut your hair…?"

"I would take it into consideration."

Hearing the sarcasm, I twisted gently at her thumb in punishment whilst Rose laughed and tried to pull her hand free. "You're just screwing with me now, aren't you?"

Tapping my chin, Rose grinned widely. "How's it feel?"

Gripping the back of her neck lightly, I pulled her up for a kiss; twining my fingers in the hair at the base of her skull as she laughed against my mouth, but the sound was soon lost in a moan. Resettling against me, my fingers found the links of the chain. Running my thumb beneath it, I pulled it out from beneath Rose's jersey; jingling the pendants. Rubbing over the smooth surface of the platinum engraving, it was warm from her body heat, but the cold air quickly began to steal its warmth.

"We can't stay out here for much longer, Roza."

"I know. It's getting colder, but once we get back to campus, this has to end." Fiddling with the folds of the duster, Rose tugged it closer. "You're not going to have another day off for a long time, and once we switch back to the nocturnal schedule, this is going to be impossible."

"We'll find time to be together," I reassured her, cupping her hip. "Once you've graduated, it won't be as difficult. We won't have to hide anymore."

"Graduation isn't for another three months, comrade. What are we meant to do until then?"

"Sneak around? There are lots of supply closets that lock from the inside."

"Wow…all my bad habits really are rubbing off on you."

Laugh quietly, I hugged her tightly, enjoying the last of the time we had together before the reality of our lives interrupted…and I could investigate the nearest supply closet.

A/n: And so concludes part one of A Conflict of the Soul.