The ownership of all characters related to and involving the novels of The Vampire Academy and Bloodlines Series
remain the sole property of Richelle Mead, the Penguin Group and any affiliates.
No copyrights have been infringed on maliciously.
A/n: Sorry, guys. This chapter should have been posted last weekend. Enjoy.
A Conflict of the Soul
Chapter Twenty-Three
"Rosemarie Hathaway."
Stepping forward from the line of seniors standing shoulder to shoulder in the middle of the guardian meeting room, Rose took a deep breath before she began her walk to Alberta. Almost at the end of the senior novice's graduation ceremony, she was the last of them to be called to receive her official time, stake and Promise Mark.
Flanked by Gregor to her left and Dustin to her right, Alberta smiled warmly as she watched Rose's approach. Opening her folder containing the official times; times that only she and a handful of senior guardians knew, she quickly read through the last of them before closing the folder and handing it back to Gregor.
Stopping a foot away from Alberta, Rose cleared her throat and folded her hands at her front. Those hands, from where I stood watching against the left wall, trembled a little. She had been composed as the other seniors had received their times as well as their stakes and Promise Marks, but now that it was her turn, the composure was starting to crack. It was unusual for her to show any hint of nerves, especially when everything was as good as done.
Admittedly, trying to keep my own composure was no easier. Not when I had to keep my distance from her during a moment when all I wanted was to be able to do was something as simple as hold her hand as she officially became a guardian.
Lips twitching a little at the visible sign of Rose's nervousness, Alberta placed both hands on her shoulders to brush away at any imaginary lint on her black jacket, though I knew it was more for comfort than cleanliness. Giving her a quick squeeze, Alberta nodded once. "Rosemarie Hathaway, you completed your Trials in 22 minutes, 29 seconds; almost two full minutes ahead of Edison Castile, which gives you the fastest time. Congratulations."
Beaming as the others cheered and clapped, Rose glanced briefly in my direction, looking more than just a little proud of herself because Eddie's time hadn't been the only time she had beaten. She had also beaten mine by almost half a minute; something she only knew because she had pestered me about it last night until I had finally relented and told her.
Handed a long box by Gregor, Alberta opened it to reveal a gleaming stake resting on a bed of deep-purple velvet. Peering at it eagerly, Rose could hardly control her excitement; all hint of nerves were suddenly gone as she worried her bottom lip and looked expectantly at Alberta. She acted no differently from the others when they had received theirs, only she had something they didn't…a spare, hidden safely away in her room.
Lifting it from the box almost reverently with white gloves to leave no fingerprints, the ceremonialism of this gesture was very important to Alberta. Seeing that, Rose pulled herself together and for once, took something just as seriously. Handing it to her, Rose gripped it tightly with one hand whilst accepting the box with the other. Her initials had been engraved on the hilt, as with her spare, whilst the inscription of They Come First had been etched beneath the rubber guard.
"This stake is as much a symbol as the tattoo you are about to receive," Alberta began. "It is an instrument of both protection and passing. Always carry it. Always know where it is. Always know how it fits in your hands and the way your fingers wrap around it, as it will mean the difference between life and death."
Nodding in understanding, Rose slid it carefully into the holder on her belt before closing the box. Moving to the solitary chair on Alberta's left; she sat and placed it on her lap as Leon stepped forward to mark her. Bending her head forward, her nape was left exposed by her hair wound tightly in a high bun as he prepped his ink gun and Alberta watched from overhead whilst continuing her address.
"The Promise Mark is not something to be taken lightly. It is an oath to always protect the Moroi and to put them above all others. They come first." Alberta's knowing glance caught mine for a brief moment. It had been exactly the same speech she had given the other, but for Rose – and me – it was more than just a reminder of where our loyalties must always lie.
Beginning to ink Rose's skin, she didn't flinch as the needle repeatedly punctured to leave behind its mark. Placed in between the two Molnija and Zvezda she already had, the tattoos were a little out of order, but that didn't matter. This was the most important of them all.
Completed relatively quickly, Leon wiped away the excess ink and looked over it with a critical eye before he smiled and covered it with a light dressing to keep it sterile. Patting her shoulder, he quietly congratulated Rose before withdrawing.
Rising, the chair was removed by Dustin as Alberta stretched out a hand towards Rose. Tucking the box under her left arm, Rose grinned and quickly shook it before Alberta turned them both to view the room full of grinning newly graduated seniors and spectator guardians as she officially announced:
"Congratulations…Guardian Hathaway."
Cheering loudly, the noise in the room was almost deafening as the graduates swarmed around Rose. Hugging her so tightly that most lifted her off her feet, their excitement and joy was contagious and again, I wished that I could be a part of it. Exercising patience, I instead focused on the pride I felt at hearing her official title.
Called back into order, the students once again formed a line; with Rose slipping back into place between Eddie and Dean, both of whom nudged her with their shoulders, and quietly teased her as Alberta gained their attention to complete the last of the ceremonial procedures. "And finally, all that is left is for you to repeat the Oath of Protection. You all know it; it's been taught to you since you were children, but I'll start you off." Repeating after Alberta in perfect synchronicity, the graduates completed their promise to the Moroi without missing a word, and once it was done, released an almost collective sigh of relief.
It was over. All the hard work, the dedication, the sacrifices, the heartache…it was done. They were finally guardians.
Accepting congratulations from those attending, the new graduates mingled around the room as Alberta spoke quietly to Gregor. Joining me on the side lines, Dustin nudged my shoulder. "Glad to be getting rid of Hathaway as your student?"
"Actually, yes." Smiling, as I was able to tell the absolute truth for once, Dustin incorrectly thought it was because Rose had always been considered difficult and I was relieved to be rid of her. He had no idea of what it would mean for both of us now that she was no longer my student. It made me think about it in a way I hadn't before. From the moment I had accepted how I felt about her, I had considered her mine. Mine to teach, to guide, to nurture. That responsibility was now over and it made me oddly sad.
Shaking off the melancholy, Dustin and I continued to quietly talk as I looked around the room. It wasn't just academy guardians who lauded the seniors, but Hans Croft and the Court officials who had remained to witness the graduation. Seated against the far wall, they were merely here as guests; this had been Alberta's show from the beginning, but not all of them were here to watch the proceedings.
Catching my eye, Hans was still a little pale from our earlier conversation. Shortly before the graduation ceremony had begun, he had pulled me discreetly aside to congratulate me on the success of my student whilst all the while making veiled comments that she had seemed more prepared for a trickier obstacle course than she should have. Still angry at the Council's interference and knowing he was already afraid of Rose's father; I had thanked him for the compliment, and mentioned that Abe – using the shorter, more familiar version of his name for the first time to make my point – would be happy to hear it when we next spoke, as it was something we had spoken about already.
Swallowing nervously as the blood drained from his face, I had excused myself without giving anything else away; more than happy to let him wonder as to what Ibrahim Mazur would say to him the next time their paths crossed. He might have held the advantage over us, but that didn't mean he couldn't be useful. As promised, he had flown out during the early hours of this morning; choosing to listen to his daughter's demand…her mother, however, had not.
Standing quietly in the far right corner, Janine showed no outward emotion at watching her only child graduate, and Rose showed no acknowledgement of her even being in the room. She was due to fly out with her Moroi sometime during the night, and honestly, no one would be sad to see her go.
"Graduates…can I have your attention, please?" Alberta called out. "I know you're all excited but I need you to pay attention to me, just one more time." Looking out over the room, she began once she was satisfied that she had them all listening. "Right, Monday morning, 7am sharp, you and your belongings will be collected from the upper quad and transported to the tarmac. Don't worry if you have to leave anything behind, we will have it couriered to you in Pennsylvania later in the week or to wherever you have been permanently assigned."
"Please also remember to pick up your original transcripts from the front office Sunday evening before the Church service. Headmistress Kirova will be there to personally hand them to you. Please don't lose them. They are your official records from your time at the Academy and will be requested at every post you work at for the rest of your lives. Additionally, Guardian Belikov," nodding towards me, Alberta smiled slightly. "Will be accompanying you on the flight to Court, but not as a supervisor. He himself has been reassigned as of Monday…to the Queen's Guard."
Watching as dozens of heads immediately turned in my direction, I felt a little like I was under a microscope, even though I had known Alberta would make the announcement here. Shock was the first reaction of most, but as it slowly made way for excitement and elation, I was suddenly surrounded by well-wishers shaking my hand and congratulating me. Pounded on the back by Dustin, his shaggy brows were curiously raised. He and the rest of the guardians already knew that I had been reassigned…they just hadn't known the position.
Now that the cat was out the bag, everyone on campus would know about it within the hour, which is why I needed to find Lissa as quickly as I could. Once the ceremony was over, Rose and I would make our way to the main assembly hall to tell her and Christian about the reassignment; hopefully without Tasha being around. She wasn't going to react well to me becoming one of Tatiana's guardians, not with how she felt about the woman. It would also be the perfect time to tell them about my connection to her.
Looking around the room for Rose, she was behind Eddie in the line that had formed to get to me. Feigning surprise as genuinely as the others, there was a small curl to her lips that also conveyed amusement. She knew how uncomfortable all of the attention would make me and that I would have no way of avoiding it and that appealed to her slightly warped sense of humour. Finally reaching me after Eddie's enthusiastic handshake and very loud shout of excitement, Rose hugged me briefly before moving to my side.
Catching the eye of the one person in the room that didn't find any joy in my good favour, Janine's reaction almost made all the attention worthwhile. Visibly outraged as she remained in her corner, her face could have been set in stone. She knew immediately what this would mean because although Rose had yet to be officially announced as Lissa's guardian, she knew that it would happen, and she knew that it meant we would be at Court together and that we would have so much more freedom to be together.
It was the opposite of what she wanted, and she knew there was nothing she could do to stop it from happening.
"Settle down, everyone." Alberta called, restoring order as best she could. "Keep the dressings on your tattoos until tomorrow morning. Try not to get them wet and remember what I said. 7am sharp on Monday morning. Enjoy the rest of your weekend. Class of guardians dismissed." Turning away to address the Council members as the doorway began to fill, there wasn't much more for Alberta to say. She had already given her advice…and her warnings.
Nodding to Rose as I our eyes met, she understood that I wanted to find Lissa, and began to push through the crowd for the exit, but as she reached the door, she was met by Hans, who smiled genially and bent to her ear to speak to her. Wondering what the hell he was up to, I couldn't hear any of their conversation, but judging by Rose's face, it wasn't anything that was upsetting her. Actually, it looked like she was trying to keep a straight face. Eyes lighting up as she saw Eddie walk past her, she latched onto his arm whilst making an apology over her shoulder as they went out the door.
Frowning, Hans pulled at the knot in his tie as he watched after her with a worried expression. Making my own excuses to those still hovering around me; with more diplomacy than Rose had, I followed after her and Eddie, catching up to them as we crossed over the grassy quad in search of the Moroi, whose own graduation ceremony should have finished by now. Quietly congratulating the pair, Eddie was talking so loudly he barely heard it whilst Rose smiled and mouthed a silent thank you. There wasn't much more than either of us could show right now. There would be time for a more private celebration later.
Yelling and waving to a group of students standing beneath the concealing leaves of the giant Oak that Rose and I had often used for a few moments of stolen intimacy, Eddie wasn't paying any attention to us and it gave me the opportunity to turn towards her and ask quietly. "What did Hans want?"
"I think the expression is buttering me up…basically trying to get me to put in a good word with the man my mother chose to father her child. He must really be scared of him."
"Terrified, I think is a better word. I deliberately made him think that I had been talking about him to Ibrahim yesterday."
"Good. We need to keep him thinking that. Maybe we can blackmail him with it later."
"Rose."
Sighing at my reprimand, she winked cheekily. "And just when I had thought I had corrupted you completely."
"Not quite."
"I'll have to work on that." Rolling her neck, she winced a little before placing a hand over her nape for a few seconds.
"How's the tattoo?"
"Burns a little, but it's a burn I'll gladly live with. I can't believe it's finally here. I can't believe it's finally over."
"Any regrets?"
"Only that we're not alone." Glancing at me from beneath her lashes, the provocative look in Rose's eyes was enough to set fire to my blood. Last night had been an exercise in restraint, with neither of us being alone long enough to do anything, but it had been an enjoyable night spent with those we cared about, and that was what mattered.
"We need to find Lissa."
"Hmmm." Grabbing hold of Eddie, who was still basking in the adulation of those around us, Rose pinched his chin and pulled him down to look him in the eye. "Eddie, we need to find Lissa so that Dimitri can tell her about his reassignment before anyone else does. Focus."
Nodding quickly, he pulled loose and scanned the large crowds milling around. Many of the Moroi parents wouldn't be here for much longer as they left with their children under the cover of dark. By tomorrow, the grounds would be all but empty except for those traveling to Court and the dhampir who remained here year round.
"Hey, when do you think they'll give us our firearms?" Still looking, Eddie's exuberance wasn't about to be distracted.
"Concentrate, Eddie."
"No, seriously. When?" Turning to Dimitri, his expression was full of curious anticipation as he ignored Rose's scowl.
"Not for a while. You'll have to be taught how to use them first before you complete a competency test. If, and only if, you pass, then you'll be given a firearm."
"Bullets don't kill Strigoi," Rose scoffed, craning her neck and standing on the tip of her toes in search of a pale blonde head. "Why do we even have to carry guns?"
"Because not all threats to your Moroi can be taken out by a stake, Rose, and bullets may not kill Strigoi, but they can buy you valuable time. Just like the running." Giving her a look she would understand, especially as the importance of endurance training created by running was something I had made Rose pay attention to, she nodded once before resuming her search; shouting out and pointing as she found Lissa at the entrance of Royal housing.
"There! She's over there. Lissa!"
Turning towards us as she heard her named, Lissa excused herself from the group she had been with and began to weave her way through the larger crowd; smiling as she got closer to us. Grabbing both Rose and Eddie in a hard hug, she demanded to see their Promise Mark's and was instantly disappointed when she found them covered with the light dressings. "How long do they have to stay covered?"
Rose grinned at her pout. "Just until tomorrow. Then you'll get to see them."
"See what?" Joined by Christian a moment late, the group congratulated each other on graduating whilst Tasha, a few steps behind him, continued to talk to a Badica elder. It was unusual to see such a close conversation, as most avoided Tasha at all costs, but the Ozera and Badica families had always been close, and it was nice to see that the sense of familial loyalty was still there.
"Our new tattoos." Peering around Rose's neck, Christian was almost as disappointed as Lissa. Grinning, Rose turned to Lissa. "How was your graduation?"
"Fine. Nothing exciting happened. It was actually really boring, not like with yours… Guardian Hathaway." Gleefully giddy, Lissa hugged Rose tightly to her side before kissing her cheek. "I can't believe it's officially official. We've both finally graduated." Pulling away a little, Lissa looked at the stake on Rose's hip. "Your stake…can I see it?"
Pulling it out the holder, Rose carefully handed it to her by the guard; keeping a close eye on her as Lissa twirled it playfully through her fingers with none of the skill that any of us had, but she seemed to enjoy the play of the over-head lights as it caught and glinted. Accepting Eddie's, she compared the two and then peered at the initials on the hilts before handing them back to us.
"So? Who was fastest?"
Slinging a brotherly arm around her shoulders, Eddie looked down at Rose with a smile as he caught her to his side and squeezed tightly. "Rose, by almost two full minutes. I need to look it up, but I think that your time was actually faster than your mothers, and she set one of the fastest times ever. Do you know, Rose?"
"No, Eddie, I don't and honestly, I couldn't care. The main thing, the important thing, is that we all passed."
Starting to protest, the look Rose gave him cut it short. I could understand that she didn't want the comparisons, but Eddie probably couldn't. He could find no wrong by being associated with a guardian of Janine's reputation, but for Rose, it was the last thing she wanted. It was no different than denying any comparisons between Randall Ivashkov and myself.
"I saw her with Uncle Archer a little while ago, but it looked like they were heading for the main road. Was she at your graduation ceremony?" Sounding optimistic, Lissa was always hoping for any kind of reconciliation between the two and probably had no idea of badly their relationship had deteriorated. Rose wouldn't have wanted her to know; intent as always on protecting Lissa from anything that would cause her any kind of distress.
"She was, even though I asked her not to be."
"Did you at least talk?"
"Nope."
"And your father? Was he there?"
"He's not a father, Liss, and no, he actually listened to me and stayed away."
"Rose…"
"Not now, Liss. I'm happy; let's not ruin it by talking about my mother or that man." Smiling suddenly as she spotted Tasha walking towards us; it gave Rose a convenient escape from Lissa's questions as she returned her tight hug that Tasha's arms wrapped her in. Moving onto Eddie, she hugged him just as tightly as the familiar warming of the skin over his cheekbones made the others grin before she turned to the group but kept a loose arm around his waist.
"Sorry about that. Oleg has never known when to stop talking. What did I miss?"
Quickly filling her in on the details of the ceremony and the times set, Tasha didn't seem surprised as she praised both of them for their accomplishments. "So now that it's all over, all that's left to do is pack, arrive at Court on Monday and find out where you'll be assigned."
"Basically," Rose confirmed before giving me a speaking glance. "And talking about assignments, Dimitri has something important that he needs to talk to Lissa about." Arching a brow, Rose nodded towards a stone bench and chair set beneath a sprawling Sycamore on the outskirts of housing. Nodding back in confirmation as it was far enough away from those still hovering nearby, Rose towed Lissa towards it as she gave me a puzzled look going past and the group followed after.
I could almost feel the anticipation of curiosity in the air from both Christiana and Tasha as we sat, but it was Lissa that I focused on the most intently. They would learn it soon enough, but it was her that this affected. Meeting her patient, pale-green gaze, I had to word this carefully to avoid her somehow blaming herself for my decision to ask for reassignment.
"When you fly out to Court on Monday, I'll be with you on the plane."
Frowning, Lissa gave me an amused look. "Of course you are. You're my guardian."
"Only until we reach Court, Lissa. Once there, you'll be assigned a new primary guardian as well as a series of secondary guardians for rotational shifts."
"I don't understand…why will I be assigned a new primary? I thought you would stay on and they would simply add another?"
"Normally they would, but a few months ago, I requested a transfer which was granted earlier this week."
"You requested a transfer?" Sounding almost bewildered, Lissa looked at Rose in confusion as Tasha and Christian stared at me in speechless shock. "Why did you request a transfer? Did I do something wrong?"
"No! No! Of course not." Quickly reaching across the table, I gently enfolded one of her hands between my own. "You've done nothing wrong, Lissa. Honestly. It has been a privilege and a pleasure to be assigned to you, but once you leave the Academy grounds, you will be surrounded by more than enough guardians to keep you safe."
"But none of them are you." She protested in a small voice; making the guilt I had managed to keep at bay for so long spiral rapidly as I heard Rose chuckle softly from across the table. She had warned me that Lissa was fond of me and would take this transfer personally. "Where did you ask to be reassigned to?"
"The training facility at Court. I want the opportunity to train others so that they can protect you and other Moroi in the future. That's why I requested the transfer."
"So it's not because you're getting tired of babysitting me?"
"Never." Gently smiling at her, I squeezed her hand consolingly. "I will miss being your guardian very much, Lissa."
Looking a little more comforted by that, Lissa looked down at our linked hands. "So you'll be at Court permanently? That's ok. We'll see each other all the time."
"Actually, I won't be at Court all the time."
Jerking up her head, Lissa scowled. "What does that mean?!"
"Whilst I applied to the training centre and was initially accepted, I was offered another position when I was at Court earlier this week which I accepted. It means that for most of the time I will be there, but on occasion, I will be expected to travel."
"What position?" This time it was Christian who asked, having finally found his voice.
"The Queen's Guard."
Gaping at me, Lissa and Christian reacted exactly the way I had predicted and so too, did Tasha. Jumping to her feet, she clenched her fists and glared down at me. "You accepted a position to guard that bitch! Dimitri, how could you do that? You know what her policies on an outdated system that no longer works is doing to the dhampir and the Moroi…you shared my concerns about it. You only have to look on the attack on the Academy to see that, and you want to put your life on the line for that same flawed system?"
"Tasha…Tasha. Take a deep breath and listen to me." I didn't think she would, but it was a way of explaining not just to her, but to Lissa and Christian why I had taken the new assignment. "I know how you feel about the Queen; trust me, I don't feel much different, and I do still share all of your concerns, but this wasn't something that I could refuse. Duty is duty, you know that." It wasn't a complete lie, but it wasn't the complete truth either.
"I do, but did it have to be with her!" Pacing a little, Tasha rubbed at the scar on her cheek as she muttered to herself for a while before she stopped and faced me again, but was little more that she could say so she just continued to glare. I wasn't naïve enough to think this was the end of the conversation. She was probably only waiting until we were alone to continue with her rant.
"Don't lynch him just yet, Tasha," Rose added with a mirthful twinkle in her eye. "He has more to say."
"More?" Lissa questioned incredulously as she turned to Rose.
"Yeah, more. Dimitri found out something else at Court this week." I hadn't wanted to announce this, but Rose had pointed out earlier that once we got to Court, they would find out anyway, so I may as well be the one to break it to them.
Again all turning to me, this time with Eddie joining them, this was going to be just as much of a shock. "The man that fathered my mothers' children is Randall Ivashkov. Which means that the woman I'm going to be guarding from next week isn't just my Queen…she's also my great-aunt."
The silence that followed this announcement stretched on for close to a minute before Rose whispered from across the table. "I think you've finally managed to outdo yourself with revelations today, comrade. They are literally dumbstruck."
Responding first, it was Christian who pieced together the implications the fastest. "Wait, wait, wait, wait…you're saying that Tatiana is your great-aunt, you're an Ivashkov…and Adrian…Adrian is your cousin!"
"That about sums it up, Christian, except for the Ivashkov part. I'm not one of them. I'm a Belikov. I want no connection to the family."
"Does she know who you are?" Asked bluntly, Tasha's quick mind was already calculating the potential of nepotism influencing this decision.
"I don't think so; not that I would expect her to acknowledge me if she did."
"Why don't you want any connection to the Ivashkov family, Dimitri?"
Gentling my voice and the violence that was always inspired by talking or even thinking about Randall Ivashkov, Lissa wouldn't understand it until I had explained. "It wasn't until this week that I even knew the name of…my father." The word burnt like acid in my mouth. "Up until then, I had ever only known him as Rand. When I was child, he was in our lives infrequently, which believe me, was a blessing. He's a bully and a drunk who likes to use his fists when he doesn't get his own way. He isn't someone that I want to be associated with."
"Meaning he abused your mother?" Sadness combined with outrage pulled at her delicate, pale features. "I'm so sorry, Dimitri. I shouldn't have asked."
"Don't be sorry, Lissa. I taught him a lesson a very long time ago, but I'm sure you can understand why I don't want anything to do with him or his family."
"Yeah, I can, but how are you going to avoid him at Court? He's the Queen's nephew; he's bound to be there all the time."
"He was booted from Court before Guardian Petrov and I flew home. From what I've been told, he won't be back, so it shouldn't be a problem."
"Does Adrian know?"
"Yes. He found out at the same time that I did."
"Why hasn't he said anything about it?"
"Because I told him not to. Neither of us wants the association to the other, so for once, he's actually managed to keep his mouth shut."
"Did you threaten him?"
"Not threaten, just…corrected him on a few presumptions."
"Damn. I was really hoping you had threatened him."
"Christian!"
"What?" he grinned when Lissa elbowed him. "Adrian thinks he's better than everyone else. If Dimitri scared him a little, I'm all for it. I'm betting he wasn't any happier about finding out than you were."
"That's a bet you'd win."
"So are you two going to…what…avoid each other?"
"That's the general idea."
"Not right now it isn't," Rose muttered, looking over my right shoulder. "He's on his way."
Not turning to acknowledge his approach, he slapped Eddie and Christian on their backs in congratulations before bending to kiss Lissa's cheek. Reaching Rose, he hoisted her off the bench and into a tight hug before twirling her around, all the while ignoring me and my bristling annoyance. "Congratulations, little dhampir; on your graduation and setting the fastest time."
"Thanks, Adrian. How did you find out?" Avoiding the kiss he was trying to plant on her cheek, Rose pushed against his shoulders until he set her on her feet.
"News travels fast around here. So, how does it feel to be a guardian?"
"Really great. When are you leaving?"
"On Monday, with all of you. One big happy…family." Looking at me for the first time, the last word was snide and full of hidden meaning, or so he thought. He wouldn't have expected me to voluntarily reveal it to anyone. Not after the way I had threatened him to keep it to himself, and to everyone else's credit, they said nothing.
"You're flying to Court?" Rose questioned, trying to simply sound curious, but he would have to be deaf not to hear the displeasure in it.
"Yeah. My parents are still there, and that's where all of you are going to be, so why wouldn't I be there?" Smiling at the group, it was more than clear from the look of hunger in his dark green eyes that it was Rose he was flying out for, no one else. Not sure I could stomach much more of him, I checked the time. My shift wouldn't start for another hour, but my replacement was due any minute and I had to walk him through the campus and my schedules so that he was familiar with everything.
Almost as if Lissa had picked up on my irritation with Adrian, she cleared her throat and stood. "I'm hungry. Time to go in. Will you join us, Dimitri?"
"No, I'm sorry, Lissa, I'm due to meet my replacement shortly and need to show him around campus before my shift starts."
"Oh, no, you won't be able to join us. What a shame." Adrian's regretful expression was openly mocking. "Don't let us keep you from your duty, Belikov." Openly smirking at me, Rose rolled her eyes at him before she curled her fingers around his arm and hauled him away. She knew that there was more to my goodbye with Lissa and that I wouldn't want Adrian around for it. More than willing to allow her to lead him, Adrian paid no attention to the fact that no one else was going with them.
Breathing deeply through my irritation, we wouldn't see much of each other over the weekend; both of us having to pack and finalise the move to Court, but Sunday we had promised would be just for us. We were both willing to take the risk by spending our last day at the Academy together.
"Ignore him." Christian advised me dryly.
"I usually do."
"So I guess we'll see you around?"
"I hope so."
"Congratulations, really. You deserve this, Dimitri."
"Thank you, Christian." Opening his arms a little awkwardly for a hug, Christian laughed self-consciously; unsure as to how I would react, but as I pulled him into my own, he relaxed into the embrace. Lasting only a few seconds, he made way for Eddie, who was less tentative about the show of affection and gripped me tightly before pounding me on the back.
"That's awesome, man. Christian is right; you deserve it."
"Thank you, Eddie."
Separating, Eddie smiled at Lissa waiting on the side-lines before he looked at me with a curious expression. "Any idea as to who I'll be assigned to on Monday?"
"Not a clue, I'm afraid. The Council keeps that information to themselves, and only themselves. You're just going to have to wait until Monday."
Running his hands through his sandy hair, he blew out an impatient breath whilst Christian grinned mischievously and patted his shoulder. "Don't sweat it, Eddie. I'm sure you'll get someone great…like Jesse Zeklos." Chuckling to himself, the dirty look Eddie gave Christian couldn't be misunderstood.
"Don't say that, man. Seriously. Rose and I both dreaded getting him for the field assignment."
"Why? He's such a delight. It would be almost as entertaining as being assigned to Adrian." Openly mocking Eddie, the pair continued to squabble good-naturedly whilst they walked off as Lissa was approached by a small group of students excitedly chattering amongst themselves. Using it to my advantage, I waited until they were out of earshot to face Tasha, who was still openly glaring at me. I had expected her to start up again as soon as we were alone, but she seemed to be biding her time before she spoke again or maybe she was afraid she would start shouting if she did.
"I know what's on your mind, so why don't you just say it?"
Crossing her arms, Tasha gave me a withering look. "I thought I already had."
"That wasn't all of it."
"Maybe I'm just too stunned to say anything more."
"Well there's a first time for everything."
The look she gave me was full of ire. "I can't actually believe you've agreed to this."
"It's my duty, Tasha."
"Duty," Scoffing, Tasha paced a little before turning to look at me with an expression that was initially edged in disdain but as her eyes narrowed, it morphed into calculated speculation. "Are you going to use your family connection to influence her?"
Thinking for a brief moment that she was being sarcastic, I stiffened in unpleasant surprise when I read the absolute sincerity in her question. She was seriously asking if I was going to use nepotism to help her further her cause. How could she not know that I wanted nothing to do with any of them other than what the job required of me?
"No, I'm not. How could you even ask that knowing how I feel about Randall Ivashkov?"
"Because you said yourself that you still share my concerns. Think about it, Dimitri. You could make changes from within the Queen's inner circle. Real changes. Changes that could alter the entire structure of how the dhampir are treated, how they are trained, where they are assigned and at what age they are assigned. Surely that's more important than the grudge that you hold against your father?"
"You know that I wouldn't have that opportunity…and my grudge with that man is no one's business but my own."
"You are a family member; legitimate or not. You might have an opportunity that no one else in the dhampir community would because they wouldn't be able to get close enough to her to begin this kind of conversation. This is too important an opportunity to pass up. Don't you want that for your own people?"
"I do, but this isn't the way forward to making constructive changes. I can't simply ambush the Queen because of a family link she probably has no idea even exists."
"Then get to Court and ask to speak privately to her."
"I can't do that, Tasha."
"Why not?"
"Are you seriously asking me to jeopardise my job just to further your cause?"
"My cause is about the best interest of the dhampir, which includes you!" Taking two quick steps towards me, Tasha clutched at the labels of my jacket with hands that shook. "You can get close to her. Closer than anyone else ever could. Make her listen to you, Dimitri. Someone has to…someone has to make her see how wrong she is. How important change is, how she's no more important than anyone else. How she could be removed just as easily as anyone else."
Frowning in concern at the feverish, manic glitter in her bright blue eyes; eyes that no longer looked anything like Christians, her sudden attitude shift, almost extremist in the way it came out, was all the more worrying because it was basically sedition against our monarch. A monarch I was now assigned to protect.
"Tasha…what you're talking about sounds less like change and a lot like treason." Keeping my voice low, the last thing anyone needed right now was for that kind of talk to be heard. "I know that you're concerned about the dhampir, but you are a Moroi and Tatiana is as much your Queen as she is mine, irrespective of how any of us feel about her or her policies. You can't talk like this. It's dangerous."
"Why shouldn't I talk like that? Maybe it's time for more of us to talk like that." Smiling manically, the scar pulled tightly across Tasha's cheek. "Maybe then someone will listen…maybe then someone will do something about it."
"Like what, Tasha?"
Blinking up at me, the alarm in my question seemed to bring her to her senses. Releasing her grip on me, she back up a few feet before looking at me almost defiantly. "It's nothing, Dimitri. Don't worry about it. Just private thoughts. Will you talk to her or not?"
Not entirely sure that I believed her, I shook my head mutely.
"Well that's disappointing, Dimitri. Very, very disappointing. How do you think the dhampir are going to feel when they find out about how selfish you're being? That you're putting Moroi and duty above them?"
Feeling anger well, not something that normally occurred with Tasha, I realised that continuing to argue my opinion would make no difference to her. She only wanted to hear one thing from me, no matter the position it put me in, and for the first time in memory, I had no other choice but to be bluntly harsh as I refused her.
"For the last time, Tasha, no. I will not talk to her. It's not my place."
Expression souring as she heard the finality in my voice and realised that I would not be manipulated, Tasha all but sneered. "If this isn't your place, Dimitri, then where the hell is?"
Walking away before I could answer, the set of Tasha's shoulders was stiff with anger and matched my own. Why had I never seen before just how fanatical she was about this? How zealous she was? I had never known her to be so dogmatic, so uncaring of how it would impact another person. What I had always put down as passion for a cause suddenly seemed more like radicalism and that was as dangerous as her talk about potential treason.
Did I have a duty to report it? Was I over-reacting to her almost unhinged behaviour because of our argument? Should I be more concerned about her mental state?
I didn't know, all I did know was that this person…this fanatic, was not someone that I knew.
"Dimitri?"
Turning to find Lissa behind me, I had been so preoccupied with Tasha that I hadn't heard her approach. Pushing aside my worries for the moment, Lissa's smile was wistful as a bright sheen of moisture glazed her eyes. Launching herself at me, she hugged herself tightly to my chest. Pressing my cheek to the top of her head, I slowly stroked a hand over the shiny fall of her pale hair as she mumbled against the buttons of my shirt. "I really am going to miss you, Dimitri."
"I'm going to miss you too, Lissa." The truth of that suddenly struck me. With Ivan, there had been a brotherly bond between us that had been based on respect and liking, but more than anything, it had been about duty. With Lissa it hadn't just been about duty, but about love. Not the same love that I felt for Rose, but it was just as important to me.
"Will Rose be assigned to me on Monday?"
"I'm almost certain she will be, but let's wait for the official announcement before we start celebrating, hmm?"
"They wouldn't, would they…?" I could hear her fear that things could change, that she would be without either of us come Monday.
"No, they wouldn't." The words were sincere, but there was still a whisper of doubt in my mind that things could change.
"She's going to be happy that were all together at Court."
"Yes, she will be." With my news out of the way, I began to wonder when Rose would tell Lissa hers. She had been understandably nervous about telling her about us, not just because Lissa would be mad for keeping her in the dark, but because the more people who knew, the greater the danger to both of us. She was the only one who could make the decision to tell her, and once she did, she would still have to lie to her about when it had started. No one, not even Lissa, could know that it started before Rose had graduated.
"Belikov!"
Turning towards the sound of my name, I saw Gregor waving in the distance and checked my watch over Lissa's head; surprised to see that I was late. "Shaw's here." He shouted. "He's waiting for you in Petrov's office."
Nodding back, he took in the sight of Lissa in my arms with a puzzled brow before turning to leave. Squeezing Lissa tightly for a second longer, my arms loosened around her before I took a step back. "I'm sorry, Lissa. That's my replacement."
"And you have to go…I know. Will I see you this weekend?"
"Probably not much, but I promise I'll be on the tarmac with you on Monday morning."
"Ok." Walking her to the entrance of housing, Lissa smiled at me one final time as she went in. "The Queen is lucky to have you, Dimitri. I hope you know that." Waving at me with a curl of the fingers, I watched until she was safely through the lobby doors before I made my way quickly to the main office to meet my replacement. My mind should have been on him, but it was on Tasha's question.
"If this isn't your place, Dimitri, then where the hell is?"
Tasha's radicalism aside, was she right? Did I have a responsibility to the dhampir that I overlooked because of my duty to the Moroi? Should I at least try to voice the concerns that so many shared, even if nothing came of it? Should I exploit the nepotism that I had been so dead-set against to highlight a plight in spite of what it could cost me?
Unsure of how I felt or how I should act, I decided to do nothing about it until I could talk to Rose. Her advice wasn't always based on logic, but it was always impartial. I also needed to discuss how unbalanced Tasha had sounded…how treasonous she had sounded. Maybe she could think of something that I hadn't. Something that would explain Tasha's actions.
Turning my attention instead to Benjamin Shaw, I was surprised to find an older guardian than I had expected. Alberta hadn't given me much information about him, only that he had been reassigned from somewhere in Canada. Shaking hands, he seemed as no non-sense as Gregor and eager to get down to business. Walking him around the campus, he quickly familiarized himself with the boundaries of the wards, the expanse of the grounds and the quickest routes in and out of each of the houses and the administration building. It didn't take him long to acclimate.
Walking him past the church, Father Andrew stood at the steps and I made the obligatory introductions; leaving Shaw with him as I started my shift. Finding Emil just beyond the admin block, he was resting back against a low fence lined with boxes of brightly coloured Petunia's; clapping slowly as I approached him. "Well, well, well…who do we have here? None other than the newest member of the Queen's Guard, Dimitri Belikov!"
"That's all? I was expecting more fanfare."
"Really? Well, I could put you on my shoulders and parade you around, but you'd just hit the top of all the doorways."
Laughing, I asked. "Who told you?"
"Dustin." Reaching him, we shook hands and began our patrol. It was the final patrol for us as a rotational pair and I was glad we had it. It was always very easy to be around Emil and usually put me in a better mood, which right now, was something that I needed.
"Congrats about the QG, brother. It's a dream job and no one deserves it more than you do."
"Thank you for the praise, Emil. I'm not sure that I deserve it, but thank you anyway." It didn't surprise me that I was going to miss him. What it did surprise me was how much I was going to miss him. He had been one of the first to welcome me when I had been assigned here and had been in charge of my orientation. Right from the start, his enthusiasm had surprised me…and reminded me a little of Ivan. Maybe it was the similarities that I would miss the most?
"How was the senior's graduation?"
"Everything went smoothly."
"How came in fastest? Castile or Hathaway?"
"Rose."
Whistling, Emil chuckled. "Couldn't have been by much."
"It wasn't."
"Good job with Hathaway. Your dedication to her training has always been admirable, Dimitri, but you've always been very dedicated to her, haven't you? Not just in training, but in…everything." Pausing, Emil gave me a look I had never seen from him before. One that sent a little tingle of warning down my spine.
"Well, she was my student, so I suppose there is a certain amount of dedication in both training and preparing her what comes after graduation." Wording my answer carefully, Emil's entire demeanour was completely off, and I began to wonder if there was a whisper around campus that I had missed.
Stopping to turn and lean a shoulder against a large Pine tree, Emil shook his head. "We both know that I'm not talking about training her, brother. Tell me…what did you think of Abe? First time I met him, I thought he was the scariest son-of-a-bitch to ever walk the Earth. Still do. You seem to have held your own when you were talking to him yesterday, but you don't scare easily, do you? Not when it comes to protecting someone you love…someone like Rose."
Feeling the tingle explode into full-blown panic, there was too much certainty in his voice, too much knowledge to try and persuade him otherwise, and all that filled my head was Abe's warning about his spies…"You think it's just the Academy? No, no. I have them everywhere, and I have more of them than you could ever know about, and you will never know who they are. In fact, it would surprise you greatly if you ever learnt about who they are in this very Academy."
"You're one of his spies, aren't you?"
"Yes, I am."
Confirmed so matter of factly, there was no hint of denial or regret. Feeling the hot rush of betrayal burn through my veins, the urge to wrap my fingers around Emil's neck was a physical craving that I had to fight very hard against giving into. Keeping my hands bunched tightly in the pockets of my slacks, and away from his neck, I tried to focus past the fury. I hadn't given much thought as to who it was; our time at the Academy was almost at an end, but the knowledge that it was someone I trusted…someone I had considered a friend, someone who I had helped through a personal tragedy, made the treachery of his actions all that more difficult to accept.
"Why?" The word was hard and ground out from between clenched teeth.
"Why do I spy for him, or why did I admit to it?"
"I don't give a damn about your motives. Why tell me now?"
"Why not tell you now? Abe's obviously already told you he has moles in the Academy, or else you wouldn't have automatically assumed I was one of them. You should be thankful, by the way, that it wasn't one of the others who discovered you and Rose. If they had, they would have gone straight to Abe."
"So I should be grateful to you for betraying my trust to him, but not anyone else?"
Sighing at the thick sarcasm coating my retort, Emil pushed away from the tree, but wisely didn't approach me. "That's being a little dramatic, don't you think?"
"My apologies...being betrayed has that effect on me."
Squirming uncomfortably at my accusation, Emil sighed. "I didn't tell you because I wanted to fight, Dimitri. I told you because I want to help you, but right now you don't seem capable of being objective about any of it."
"I can't imagine why. How long have you known?"
"About you and Rose? Since she and the others disappeared in Spokane. I reported the disappearance to her father and how strangely you were acting. We both suspected that there was more to the relationship then met the eye and I was told to keep a discreet eye on the pair of you. If the relationship interfered with her advancement, I would report it. If it was beneficial, I was instructed to ignore it."
"How long have you known she was his daughter?"
"Almost three years. He pulled strings to get me assigned to the Academy to watch her."
"You were the one who told him about when she and Lissa went on the run, weren't you?"
"Yes. He has a great deal of people on the outside; all of whom owe him favours and he had them watched very carefully to keep them both safe. It wasn't until you arrived and were tasked with finding them that he instructed them to back away. He's been impressed by you since then, by the way."
"Fuck his approval, Emil and whilst we're talking about it, fuck you too." If Rose could hear me now, she would be more than happy that some of her had rubbed off on me.
Groaning, Emil raked his hands through his pale hair. "I know you're angry with me, Dimitri, and you have every right to be, but I'm not your enemy."
"Strongly disagree."
"Didn't you hear me before? I want to help you, dammit."
"Why? Helping me means you betray him, or are you so deft at it by this stage that you can play one against the other?"
"I thought you didn't give a damn about my motives, Dimitri?" Glaring at my own mulish expression, he eventually relented. "I didn't have a choice. I owed him a favour because of my family...honestly, if you want the truth, it's actually more of a debt. Money, Dimitri, as crass as it sounds. It's nothing more than good, old fashioned poverty. My family had nothing in Romania, and even with me sending them money, it was only barely enough to keep them above the bread line. I didn't have a choice, and you, of all people, know what family means."
I did, but I still wasn't about to forgive him. "I'm sorry for your family's circumstances, Emil, but that doesn't excuse what you've done. Until I leave on Monday, I don't want you anywhere near me…or Rose. I don't need you snitching to your boss about us."
Muttering in Romanian, he shot me a dirty look. "I'm not reporting to him anymore, Dimitri. I stopped months ago. All I give him now is trivial information. Basically a smoke screen; nothing important."
"And why should I believe that? You're basically betraying the man who holds the lives of your family in his hands."
"Because of Maia."
Hearing the catch in his voice as he mentioned her name; something he hadn't done in months, the emotion couldn't be faked. "When she died, I fell apart and you were there for me. You didn't have to be; but you were. It was then that I realised that I couldn't do anything that would endanger you any further, so I stopped."
Staring at him for a long time, I wanted to believe him, but at the moment it felt like I couldn't trust my own instincts with people I thought I knew...not with him and not with Tasha. This could very easily be some sort of manipulation from Ibrahim and right now, I couldn't rule anything out.
Taking a step towards me, the earnest look in Emil's eyes couldn't be mistaken. "I know that you have no reason to trust me, but I need you to listen to me. Abe plans to publically announce Rose as his daughter. I don't know when or where but it can't be allowed to happen. I can only guess at how much you love her if you're willing to jeopardise everything for her, Dimitri, so you need to be prepared."
"Abe's enemies have long suspected he has a child; one that is well hidden and out of their reach, but that isn't going to be the case once he announces her to the world. His enemies won't take her to use as leverage against him and neither will they kill her outright, not right away. They'll send him a body part a week until there's nothing left of her just to make their point."
"Then why did he do it, Emil! Why put her in danger! Janine asked the same question and he acted like it was nothing…like he hadn't just exposed her." Not realising I was shouting, or that I was suddenly toe to toe with Emil, he took a hasty step back.
"He's selfish and manipulative; you've probably figured that out already, but I genuinely think he wants a relationship with his daughter. And he honestly does think that she can protect herself."
"And you don't?"
"Not against these people, Dimitri. If you can do anything to stop him, you need to."
"It's too late for that, Emil. How many here heard the conversation? The fight? By the end of the weekend, it would have spread across our world. Publically announcing her won't be necessary." Dry mouthed with fear, I swung away from him and paced; feeling helpless to do anything. Ibrahim would get what he wanted, one way or another, even if it meant putting his own child at risk.
"Maybe it is, but if there's any chance you or Rose can change his mind, you need to take it. If there's anything I can do, Dimitri…"
"You've done enough already." Turning back to him, it wasn't just the sense of betrayal that now left a bitter taste in my mouth, but one of disappointment. Saying nothing, Emil nodded grimly when he realised all he was going to get from me was hostility.
"I am sorry about this, Dimitri, but he knew about her all along; my reporting back to him didn't put her in danger, and there was nothing I could do to stop him. I promise you that I will try to help however I can; I will make it up to you, but I can't make it look like my loyalty to him has been compromised."
"I understand. You wouldn't want to betray too many people. You might confuse one with the other."
"If you were in my position, Dimitri, you would have done the same for your family."
"I would never let it be against me as leverage, Emil, and he knows that because I've already told him as much. I especially wouldn't have allowed it to be used as leverage against someone that I once trusted; someone who was once a friend." Looking ashamed for the first time, he couldn't have missed that everything I now said was in the past tense.
"Who else, Emil?"
"Who else, what?"
"Who else here is a mole, and who are the moles at Court?"
"What difference does it make now?"
"You owe me that at least."
Sinking his hands into his back pockets, he confirmed quietly. "I don't know specifics, only that there are three of us here, and that all of us have been at the Academy since before you arrived. I think one other is a guardian, and the other is in the administration department. Hell, it might even be Kirova herself."
"And at Court?"
"A lot more than three." Rattling off name after name, I carefully memorized each of them and to what section of Court they were assigned. Some didn't surprise me; others did. I knew that Ibrahim held favour with the Queen, but if she knew that some of her inner circle had their own divided loyalties, that might change. It might be something that I could use as leverage against him at a later stage but I wasn't about to reveal that to Emil.
"That's it?"
"That's what I know."
Nodding, I said nothing more as he checked his watch. "Look, I know that you don't want to patrol with me, and I respect that, but we still have to look as though we've been on duty together. I'll take the southern border. Why don't you take the eastern and we'll meet up again on the upper campus to make it look like we've been together the whole time?"
"Fine."
"And I'll do as you've asked. You won't see me again, unless you look for me or we cross paths. Good luck with Abe, Dimitri. Both you and Rose are going to need it." Not waiting for a reply, I watched him until he had disappeared from view and wondered if good luck would be enough for either of us.