The Ravenclaw Circle
Crying, Lavender ran up the stairs, past the great hall and further up to the second floor, where the entrance to the Gryffindor tower was. "Cordis Leonis!" she shouted at the Fat Lady.
"Well, well, calm down," the portrait-woman said indignantly.
"Just let me in, fat cow!" Lavender demanded vigorously.
"Pah! You can wait until hell freezes over, you naughty girl!" The fat lady crossed her arms in front of her heaving chest and prepared to walk out of the portrait.
Lavender startled and involuntarily reached for the sleeve of the figure, her fingernails scraping the picture. "Oh no … I didn't mean it!" she said quickly. "May I now please, please come in? Cordis Leonis?" she cajoled.
"In your confused condition?" the fat lady wondered, already somewhat reconciled. "Besides, your friend is not here anyway … out with her twin sister," she chatted.
Oh, that's how it is. Lavender leaned against the wall and slowly slid down it. Great, as soon as I'm gone, she takes the chance to hang out with her great sister and her smart friends. I'm sure they all know what they want to be when they grow up, she thought sourly. At the same time, tears started to well up in her eyes again.
"Why don't you do something nice, too?" the fat lady let herself be heard again.
"Haha," Lavender growled. "What's that supposed to be?"
"You have to know that! What is it you really like to do? Take a bath perhaps? Or snogging one of the cute Gryffindors?" the portrait suggested, swinging invitingly to the side.
"Ew!" Lavender shuddered at the thought, but then an idea came to her. "I think, I'll go for another spin," she announced and jumped through the portrait hole to fetch her broom.
"That's forbidden at this time of day!" the fat lady clamoured after her, but that was just fine with Lavender.
A short time later, she shot down to the lake on her broom at breakneck speed. It was only half past seven, but it had already begun to dawn slightly, and close above the forest hung the blood-red setting sun. There was a slight haze over the water, and the air that hit Lavender in the face was cool and damp. As always when flying, a feeling of euphoria set in after a short while and her heart almost overflowed with longing—for him! At the same time, she felt hot and cold at the memory of his rebuke—no one had ever spoken to her like that, not even Severus himself!
But it serves me right, she thought remorsefully. What was I just thinking how the whole plan would work … in any case, I didn't think it through; Severus must believe me to be a complete idiot!
And considering that, he actually was quite humane, he could have been a lot meaner … after all, he didn't yell at me. Maybe he does like me! And at least he didn't embarrass me in front of the whole class with that, because then I wouldn't be able to look anybody in the face anymore.
Again she saw her teacher in front of her, his dark eyes fixing on her, while he brought down her entire web of lies with a few well-aimed words. As much as she hated him at that moment, part of her desperately wanted him to take her in his arms and never let go.
How does Parvati manage to be so cool with her feelings? Lavender wondered. For me, it's getting more and more intense! In fact, she had never had such an achingly sweet feeling in her chest; in deep breaths she inhaled the fresh evening air, and it was hardly bearable!
And of all people, it has to be the biggest meany in the whole school! she thought. As if I were somehow masochistically inclined! And how am I supposed to behave towards him now …?
While Lavender did her rounds around the lake and let the wind blow in her head, she decided to let some dust settle on the matter. She would dress properly and concentrate the hell out of what she was doing instead of daydreaming with her eyes open. Maybe then she would finally manage a potion that could be administered to another person without hesitation.
Because she had no intention whatsoever of doing the "right thing".
Meanwhile, Parvati was sitting in the library with her sister Padma. Today, in Transfiguration, they had decided to do their homework together in the evening. Parvati enjoyed the peace and quiet around her, which was only interrupted now and then by the rustling of parchment pages.
The last few years she had rarely been a guest here, because it had been much more fun with Lavender and the boys in the common room. Unfortunately, her grades had suffered as a result. She only became fully aware of this during the holidays when her OWL-results came fluttered by owl—Padma had scored much better and Parvati knew she could have done similarly well.
At least the grades had been enough to continue taking all the important subjects. Nothing was lost yet, but she didn't want to mess her NEWT's, too. The entrance requirements for some training courses or degree programmes at the university were tough.
If only Lavender had a little more understanding, she thought with a sigh. I already feel like Hermione to her! And it's just as important for her, unless she wants to get married and have children right after school …
"Hey, look, isn't that Lavender, flying over there?" Padma interrupted her thoughts.
"What?!" Parvati rushed to the window just in time to see a person whizzing past on a broom, her long hair blowing behind her. Then she had already disappeared again behind the next battlement.
"I don't know if it was her," she said, perplexed. "I actually thought she was with Snape …"
"And that can take time," Padma added, smirking. "As I'm sure you know, sis!"
"Not everybody can be such a good girl as you!" Parvati countered. She was the quick-tempered one of the two, Padma the calming influence.
Padma laughed. "I saw that yesterday. You really hit back at Snape! But Lavender wasn't bad either! Besides" —her narrow upper lip curled in an indefinable way— "how did she actually manage to get into this course?"
Something about Padma's tone annoyed Parvati. "Through the door!" she therefore said curtly. Her loyalty to Lavender ran deep, not even Padma could change that. And for sure, she wouldn't bring Lavender's lapse to her attention.
"More probably through the back door, I suppose," Padma said pointedly. "Well, I don't care. Are you still coming to Lisa's seminar later?"
"Sure!" Parvati sounded a little more enthusiastic again. Lisa wanted to give a little talk about the everyday life of a student of Magic. Apparently she had interviewed a friend of her older sister and Parvati was really curious about the subject.
Eagerly, the two continued writing their Transfiguration essays until it was close to nine. Then they made their way to the classroom for Ancient Runes. It was already half dark in the corridors because the sun had long since set. "Lumos," the sisters whispered to their wands, and two small cones of light lighted up. Parvati felt Padma shiver beside her—both sisters had never quite shed their fear of the dark, and their huge shadows flickering up and down the walls diagonally behind them were indeed scary.
Padma felt for Parvati's hand and their long fingers intertwined. The feeling this gesture triggered in Parvati was intense, but impossible to grasp. Yet she suddenly smelled the scent of the terrace where she had so often sat with Padma; when the mild evening air mingled with the light citrus scent of Padma's freshly washed hair and the food scents from inside. How had she not missed that all these years? I was always distracted, she thought. By the Snape cult I'd raised with Lavender. Oh God, how pathetic we were actually! If Padma knew …
"Um," Padma made as they stood outside the classroom door, letting go of Parvati's hand. "Even though it might seem silly to you—we always meet in our school uniforms …"
Parvati snorted with laughter, but quickly put one hand over her mouth. "Sorry—but this seems really … weird to me now. I mean, you're usually among yourselves, the three of you!"
"Still. It helps us keep discipline and not drift off all the time," Padma explained earnestly.
"Is that really necessary?" grumbled Parvati. She didn't believe in dress codes at all, the trouble she sometimes got in class because of that was already enough for her. Regarding this, her sister was much more conservative. She always wore her uniform, and during her spare time she was often seen in brightly coloured saris, the traditional clothing of a homeland they both hardly knew.
Padma also looked much more oriental than Parvati in other respects, even though they were identical twins. Her heavy hair was almost waist-length and often wound in thick braids around her head, and her way of putting on make-up emphasised the deep blackness of her slightly almond-shaped eyes. Parvati attributed the inner peace Padma had been radiating for some time to the fact that she had been intensively studying the Hindu religion for years.
"No, of course, it's not," Padma replied somewhat indignantly. "Actually, you're only a guest!" She then performed a complicated flick of her wand and her yellow sari changed into the dark blue school uniform of the Ravenclaws. Without turning around again, she opened the door and entered the room. Parvati followed behind—by now she was also wearing her uniform—and was surprised to see Hannah Abbott and Susan Bones from Hufflepuff in addition to Lisa and Mandy. Lisa was already standing in front of the teacher's desk, the others had spread out over the tables around it. The twins sat down together at a table behind them, and Padma grinned at Lisa, "Go ahead! Or is someone else coming?"
"Not that I know of. But how about bringing along Hermione next time?" she suggested to Parvati. Parvati shrugged and said nothing. And why not Lavender? she thought irritated. Is she perhaps not elitist enough for you?
Lisa started her little talk by giving a short outline of what she wanted to tell. She even wrote the key points by hand on the blackboard. Then she began to explain the individual points, starting with the entrance requirements and exams for the degree programme, followed by an overview of the three-year course, and eventually she came to the final exams and the opportunities one had with this qualification.
Then she got to the more private part of it all. Her sister's friend had told her a lot of details about the kind of people who usually took this course, the peculiarities of some professors, the student parties, life on campus, and so on …
Parvati listened, intrigued, and also the others were as quiet as mice. Lisa was a good speaker and had prepared the talk really well. It's not the first time she's done it, Parvati thought.
The "circle" had existed for over a year, but Padma had only ever mentioned it in passing, and Parvati really had really had other things on her mind. But now the ardent desire awakened in her to belong to it, to inform herself about certain topics and to broaden her horizons.
And to be with Padma. Because who knew where they would both end up after school! Padma sometimes talked about going to India for some time …
Lisa finished her lecture, and Parvati immediately asked the first question: "Can you actually do a semester abroad there?" She noticed from Padma's sideways glance that she liked the question; she would probably have asked it herself.
"My friend didn't say very much about that, it's not common apparently," Lisa replied. "But I have heard of some people who went to Romania …"
Padma and Mandy also wanted to know a few more things, and a lively discussion developed, in which only the Hufflepuff girls did not participate. But not out of disinterest; it was common knowledge that they were very shy. After a while, the conversation took on a more relaxed form and there was a lot of laughter. Parvati felt incredibly comfortable.
It was finally almost eleven when they left the classroom, Parvati could have talked on endlessly. She separated from her classmates in the stairwell. The Ravenclaw rooms were in another tower, and her own common room was two floors up. Halfway up, a small shaky cone of light came towards her, and Parvati stopped, startled. No, it can only be a student, she reassured herself. Teachers moved through the dark walls with a lot more confidence.
"Lavender?" she breathed, and she was not in the least surprised to hear her friend respond. It was her time, and she had had no supper.
"Is it you?" Lavender hurried down the steps and took Parvati's arm. " Will you come with me into the kitchen? I still need a bite to eat …"
"So—how was it?" Parvati whispered impatiently on their way to the kitchen.
"I had my nice conversation!" Lavender informed her.
She didn't say another word, all the way down, until they were sitting in the kitchen, each with a plate of rice and chicken wings in front of themselves. Then everything came out of her, and she told how Severus had exposed her and suggested she give up the course. Parvati was relieved to see, however, that Lavender's despair was within limits. She appeared strangely calm and had obviously got over the conversation quite well.
"And he really said you were in his class because of someone else?" Parvati asked incredulously. "I guess he couldn't get any more personal than that!"
"That really took the biscuit," Lavender confirmed. "I was crying my eyes out. It's quite obvious he means himself. Pretty cocky, huh?"
"Are you sure?" asked Parvati.
"Of course! I would never have had to make such a fuss over a student … I see them all often enough in the other courses!"
"That's true, though." Parvati nodded thoughtfully. "And as inconspicuously as we've been hovering around him for two years, he might have noticed by now! But what are you going to do now?" she asked.
"Stay!" said Lavender in a firm voice. "What else?"
"See you at the next fiasco," Parvati said warningly.
"That can't just happen anymore! I'll pull myself together." Lavender looked pleadingly at her friend. "And you have to help me!"
"Of course I'll help you. But you have to be realistic …"
"I am!" Lavender interrupted her passionately. "Parvati, I can't stop with Potions! I love Severus!"
Parvati almost choked on her bite and fought an impulse to laugh. "You have a crush on him!" she corrected Lavender. But she noticed a look on her friend that she didn't know. Her eyes had never shone so brightly.
"No! At the risk of making you really mad now—but I want him! And I mean, completely!"
"Completely?" Parvati repeated hoarsely. "That means … but how …" She broke off in disbelief. The Severus thing had always been a game to them, a very time-consuming and intense game indeed, but the boundaries had always been clear.
Apparently not for Lavender. "It'll work out somehow," she said with conviction. "Until then, I'll just have to stay in his class!" She looked very determined, and it was only now that Parvati noticed that her face had also changed almost imperceptibly during the eight weeks of holiday. Was it because the full cheeks that had always given her a childlike appearance had become narrower?
Just in time to come of age … maybe she is indeed growing up, Parvati thought, and it gave her a small pang. Because suddenly she no longer thought it was so impossible that her friend would try to put her wish into practice.
"So, how was your evening?" Lavender now asked, but Parvati knew exactly that her mind was only on one person, and it wasn't her. She decided not to tell Lavender that she was with the circle.
So she only told half the truth: "Met with Padma." The rest of her exciting impressions she would have to keep to herself. She already knew that she would lie awake half the night, just as Lavender probably would.
Hermione was already in bed when the two girls came into the dormitory, but her curtains were still open and she was reading by the light of her small bedside lamp. When she heard the door click, she looked up from her Arithmancy book, and asked, "Where have you come from now?"
"From the kitchen," Lavender said challengingly, stroking her bulging belly. She knew she was putting Hermione in a conflict with answers like that in her capacity as a prefect, and part of her enjoyed it.
But Hermione didn't let herself get involved. "So, how was detention?" she only asked.
"Same as always," Lavender mumbled; that was all anyone really needed to know except Parvati. She reached under her blanket and pulled out her nightgown.
Parvati had already gone into the bathroom and she was about to follow her when she heard Hermione's voice behind her again: "By the way, Lavender, what I've been wanting to ask you all along …"
With an uneasy feeling, Lavender turned to her. "I'm listening?"
"What's actually all this fuss about Potions when you're not going to continue with Transfiguration? Because as far as I know, you need both if you want to become a healer!"
Lavender turned away with her lips pressed together and stomped towards the bathroom.
"Oh, and from now on, can you get into the habit of removing your hair after showering?" called Hermione after her.
The morning came far too quickly. A voice pierced Lavender's sweet dreams, penetratingly saying the same word over and over again: "Get up … get up … get up …"
Growling, she turned to the other side. Where had she just stopped? Something about Severus … but the dream slipped away from her, and there was that voice again, "Get up, lazybones!" It was Hermione. Ohh! Lavender didn't react at all, but she couldn't really fall asleep anymore either.
"Now get up already, you're late for breakfast—no, it's not working that way … Wingardium Leviosa!"
And suddenly Lavender's blanket was gone. Shivering, she curled up and muttered, "Oh no …"
"Jesus, Hermione, are you crazy?!" Parvati roared. "Could you please mind your own frigging business?" With a thump she jumped out of bed.
Lazily, Lavender lifted an eyelid and saw her and Parvati's blankets circling around the ceiling light. Oh, funny! she thought annoyed. Parvati, however, quickly put an end to the spook and caringly tucked Lavender in again. Then she angrily went into the bathroom. "Have you forgotten that she can sleep longer today?" she heard her voice faintly coming through the door.
Yes, that's right, thought Lavender and snuggled up pleasantly under her blanket. Because I didn't take Arithmancy back then, clever me! But I'll see Severus afterwards … her stomach tightened immediately at the thought of her teacher.
She dozed a little longer, sniffed the fresh air coming through the open window and listened to the birds chirping happily. At the same time, she listened to the sounds of Hermione and Parvati quietly getting dressed, packing their bags and finally leaving the room.
A little later, Lavender got up and got ready for the day as well, dawdling with relish. She loved not having class until third period—but who didn't? And tomorrow was another one of those days, because the others had Transfiguration first thing in the morning …
She made up her make-up carefully, namely in such a way that she looked almost unadorned; only her eyes should be shown to advantage. Her long hair she tied into a ponytail, the only hairstyle she could manage without Parvati. Then she put on her school uniform, but at the sight of her tights she went on strike. No! It's already twenty degrees outside and I'm about to melt. I'll fetch them later!
In the common room, she bumped into Ron, Harry and Neville, who, like her, had decided against cramming complicated formulas in third grade. Together they went to breakfast in the Great Hall, which was pleasantly empty. Only for a few students of the upper two classes, school started at that time, and many of them were still in bed. The staff table was completely empty.
"That's how it has to be!", Ron rejoiced and loaded his plate with a huge portion of scrambled eggs with bacon. "Vive la Bohème. And the same again tomorrow!"
Lavender nodded and reached for her glass of pumpkin juice. "It's the least we're entitled too, now that we're already barred from Transfiguration!" She took a big gulp.
Ron looked up from his plate. "What grade did you actually get?" he wanted to know.
"Acceptable," muttered Lavender. "And you?"
"Exceeds Expectations. As in Potions. A fat lot of use that is to me," Ron said with quiet bitterness. "I can forget about the Auror!"
"I'm sorry about that ," Lavender said quietly. "The rules are really nasty."
"What the heck?" Ron grinned again. "Potions with Snapey wasn't really our thing anyway, was it? So, what's my fellow-sufferer gonna do all morning now?"
"Um!" Lavender felt again the familiar redness rise in her face that seemed to be her constant companion at the moment.
"What?" Ron asked.
"Ron," Harry said softly when Lavender didn't answer. "She has Potions."
"What! You had an Outstanding?" Ron asked, aghast. "You?"
Lavender stood up without saying a word and left the Great Hall. She just couldn't take any more, and she felt sick at the prospect of being asked that question about twenty more times. "And what about all the others who do not get such a chance?" Severus' voice echoed in her head. Oh God, oh God, I'm so stupid, she thought desperately. Soon, everyone will hate me. Why didn't I think this through more carefully? I should have discussed this with Parvati …
At that moment, she heard quick footsteps behind her, and someone held her by the arm. It was Ron. "Lavender, I'm sorry," he said contritely. "I didn't mean to hurt you! Your marks are none of my business, okay?"
"Er—it's fine," Lavender said, caught off guard. What on earth did Harry tell him? she asked herself. For the life of her, she couldn't imagine that Ron had made up his mind on his own to drop the subject and, on top of that, run after her. "How is your bruise, actually?" she quickly distracted him.
"Oh, that!" Willingly, Ron pushed up his shirt and showed Lavender her handiwork, which by now was shimmering bright blue.
"My God!" said Lavender, impressed, lightly stroking it with one finger. "I really will pay better attention in the future, I promise!"
Ron grinned and pulled his shirt back into place. "What do you think—I'll get us a coffee and we'll play a game of chess," he suggested.
"Sure!" Lavender knew she was going to lose anyway, but at the moment she was just glad that Ron was so generous about her faux pas. Besides, she quite enjoyed playing chess.
It was Ron, finally, who looked at the clock in complete shock, "You've got to go, Lavender!"
Oh God! She jumped up, not without knocking over the chessboard, so that the pieces were scattered in all directions. She ran into the bedroom, grabbed her bag and ran past Ron, without saying goodbye.
I can't be late, I can't be late! she thought in panic. And definitely not after last night!