Bitter Pills and Ingredients

The next morning, Lavender was allowed to sleep in again; the fact that she was lying in Parvati's bed was merely acknowledged by Hermione with a slight raising of her eyebrows—the occasional swapping of beds between the two was nothing new for her.

As Parvati dressed quietly, she saw from the twitching of Lavender's eyelids that she was just pretending to be asleep, probably so she wouldn't have to talk to Hermione.

As the girls entered the Arithmancy classroom with Dean Thomas and Seamus Finnigan, Parvati immediately felt Padma's questioning gaze on her. She put her bag down on the seat next to Hermione, then hesitantly walked over to her sister.

"Where were you last night?", Padma wanted to know. "We were expecting you."

"Sorry. I had to finish the essay for Transfiguration," Parvati lied.

"After lying lazily by the lake all afternoon!" noted Padma with a slight rebuke in her voice. "And you could at least have cancelled! I was lying not twenty yards away from you the whole time. Had you broken your legs or why didn't you manage to move over once?"

"Oh, and what about you?" snapped Parvati. She did not even consider telling her well-organised sister about spontaneous actions in the evening. She would not understand.

"Besides, you could have written the essay tonight!" said Padma unperturbed.

"Uhh—there we have a chess tournament," Parvati improvised.

Padma raised an eyebrow. "A chess tournament, well, well! Parvati, why don't you tell me the truth? I saw you flying across the lake with Lavender! Or do we suddenly have a triplet sister?" Padma brushed an imaginary hair from her face, and Parvati turned bright red.

"Then why do you ask at all?" Parvati didn't even wait for the answer and angrily went back to her seat. What a great start to the day! What a stupid, self-righteous cow!, she thought.

But she was close to tears, and most of all she was annoyed with herself. Even if she bitches sometimes … our relationship will certainly not get better if I lie to her!

In Potions, Lavender changed places with Parvati so that she no longer had to sit next to Hermione. She took note of the change with an icy expression without saying anything. That was taken over by Snape, who relentlessly directed Lavender back to her side table next to the blackboard. Accompanied by a derisive snickering from the Slytherins, Lavender moved and slapped her books on the table. Don't lose your nerve now, thought Parvati. After all, everything has gone great with the potion so far …

The bottles were still standing where they had put them the day before yesterday; the liquid had darkened a little in the meantime. "Good, you know what to do next," Snape said when the students had returned to the room. "And then, starting tonight, a freshly crushed whelk must be added three times at twelve to fourteen hour intervals."

Yuck … Parvati shook herself, and she saw from the faces of most of the others that she was not the only one who felt slightly sick at the thought. Lavender, at least, did not look quite happy.

"So I will keep the lab open for you during this time," Snape continued. "And now I wish you a happy continuation of your work!"

He twisted one corner of his mouth, a gesture that once made Parvati's heart beat faster. But now there was nothing … Passé!, she thought and resolutely opened her notes from last hour. You won't confuse me any more! No matter how often you'll meet me in the dark …

Parvati often had to think of the look Snape had given her when she had been sitting hidden behind the statue, and she always wondered how he could have seen her there. It really had been pitch black! And if Lavender is right?, she thought, and he has the ability to perceive people somehow differently …

Lavender had not spoken to her about it again, but she could imagine what was going on in her vivid imagination. The possibility that Snape could sense a person by their aura, resonances or other outgrowths certainly made him even more mysterious to her friend.

And the fact that he was also one of those assholes where it was the woman's fault anyway when a man attacked her didn't seem to bother Lavender in the least. Once the rose-tinted glasses were on—and he was oh, so touchingly concerned for her safety!

Poor Lavender!, thought Parvati regretfully. This can't go well. Maybe she should stick to Ron after all … at least, she can have breakfast together with him!

Parvati began to work; the now viscous wormwood decoction was returned to the cauldron and slowly heated to eighty degrees. While waiting, she weighed out seventy grains of lionfish bones and forty grains of cuckoo's eggshells and then crushed them together in a mortar. The powder was added to the brew when it reached the desired temperature; then it was further heated to one hundred degrees. In the meantime, Parvati cut a dried mandrake into wafer-thin slices. Almost all the time, she was in eye contact with Lavender, who was putting up a brave fight.

Severus … Snape won't get her down that easily, Parvati thought. If she sets her mind on something, she'll get it, he should have noticed that … Will she really get him?, it suddenly flashed through her mind, and her stomach tingled. Parvati no longer thought it impossible. Lavender might be insecure about some things, but she had courage; Parvati had felt that again in all clarity during their broom ride yesterday. She herself, at least, would never in her life plunge herself almost vertically from a height of twenty yards.

Parvati carefully placed the mandrake slices on the surface of the liquid, where they floated around lazily like ice floes. From now on, there was to be no more stirring, but waiting until the slices dissolved on their own and worked their way through the brew. Therefore, theory was done in the second lesson and Snape asked for the homework.

To the amazement of the whole class, Lavender immediately raised her hand and announced her results. Parvati stopped almost breathing. It was an extremely rare experience to hear Lavender speak in class, so the girl's face was accordingly red.

"Look at that tomato!" Pansy gossiped loudly, and Millicent giggled shrilly.

Snape took no notice of the disturbance at all, and that was what everyone, except the Slytherins of course, meant by his unfairness. Those nasty snakes were just allowed to do what they wanted! Parvati was already itching to headbutt them from behind.

However, Lavender didn't let anyone put her off, and she had everything right, as Snape finally had to admit with a deadpan expression. Lavender leaned back in her chair and beamed over at Parvati. She grinned back, but Hermione's expression, which looked very knowing, did not escape her. Moreover, she was killing Lavender with her looks.

At the end of the lesson, the solutions were decanted again and taken to the neighbouring laboratory. Parvati met her sister as she was doing this. "Hey, I'm sorry about earlier," she said hastily. "I'd like to explain it to you properly …"

"I don't have much time this week," Padma said curtly. Oh dear, she was really offended!

"It won't take that long," Parvati replied.

"I still don't have time. Chess tournament and all that. Come on, Lisa!" Padma rushed off with her friend, and Parvati lowered her arms in resignation. Now it could only be a matter of weeks before she calmed down. Why didn't I tell her the truth, stupid me? But a little voice whispered inside her: Because then she would have been just as miffed …

"Well? Trouble within the Mudblood circle?" she suddenly heard Draco Malfoy's voice close beside her, and she looked into the Slytherin's cold, grey eyes.

"Tell me, don't you ever get enough?" asked Parvati quietly.

"Of you?" asked Draco with a sneer. "I've had enough of you for a long time, you Turkish bitch!"

Parvati took a swing and smacked Draco in the face with all her might. "You're so disgusting!" she screamed. Then she left the lab with her head held high, almost running into Snape in the doorway.

And for that you can take a hundred points off me! she thought as she made off, trembling with rage. Lavender and she could still hear Draco ranting when they had almost reached the ground floor.

Lavender and Hermione had indeed treated each other like air since the quarrel. At lunch they didn't say a word to each other, and when Lavender asked for the sauce with icy politeness, Hermione put the tureen down in front of her so violently that a bit of it spilled over the rim. It was then, at the latest, that everyone around her realised that something must have happened. Hermione's icy looks did the rest.

Lavender didn't look like she was comfortable with it. Parvati knew that her friend always took it to heart when she was at loggerheads with someone. The good opinion of her friends was important to her, and she had already had to listen to enough in the last few days, both about her flirting with Ron and her presence in Snape's class.

Fortunately, they were able to avoid Hermione in the afternoon. Parvati and Lavender had Divination together with Harry, Ron and Neville, where Lavender made up for the missing night's sleep, and Parvati also had to control herself not to be lulled by the centaur's sweet voice.

"Do you know what's up with Hermione?" asked Ron after class as they sat down in the common room at their favourite table right by the window.

"Nope …" The friends shook their heads in agreement. This was clearly women's business, no matter how lousy Hermione was. After all, she only made her sayings behind closed doors either.

Ron shrugged his shoulders. "So, Lavender, how about a revenge for this morning?" he then asked.

One could see Lavender's mind working, but then, to everyone's surprise, she decided against a game of chess and to do her Potions homework. Although they didn't have it again until the next Monday!

After dinner, Parvati reminded her friend about the whelk. She turned pale on the spot. "What did he mean by crushing it," she whispered. "Killing the snail then?"

"Er, yes. I think it'll be dead by then," Parvati said dryly.

"I can't!"

"You put them to sleep beforehand. The snail feels nothing," Parvati reassured her.

"Anyway! It disgusts me!" Lavender shook herself, then looked at her with puppy-dog eyes. "Parvati, can't you …?"

"No, no, no!" Parvati raised her index finger in amusement. "No such thing as dodging! You'll have to prove yourself worthy if you don't want to be kicked out of the course!"

"As if my potion can tell who throws in the snail," Lavender muttered, but Parvati would not be swayed.

At half past eleven she urged to leave. "Come on, let's get this over with before Snape locks the door again! I hope we don't run into anyone!"

"I can't! I feel sick!" Lavender was indeed green in the face.

"You should have eaten more!" Parvati took Lavender's hand and tried to pull her up out of her chair.

"So I'll puke it up in the dungeon at the latest!" Lavender stubbornly planted her feet on the ground. "No, I CAN'T!"

"And who asks me? I get to stamp two snails right away, or what?" cried Parvati indignantly and dropped Lavender's hand.

In response, Lavender pressed her hand over her mouth and ran up the spiral staircase to the dormitory. Completely perplexed, Parvati followed her and just managed to hold Lavender's hair back before she noisily threw up into the toilet.

"Okay, you've convinced me," Parvati said as Lavender dragged herself to the sink to brush her teeth. "Can I leave you alone?"

Lavender nodded urgently. "Bu' make sure you don' run in'o Draco," she mumbled, her mouth full of toothpaste.

Sometimes a little less imagination really couldn't hurt, Parvati thought as she set off with Harry and Hermione.

"Where is Lavender?" asked Hermione immediately.

"Sick," Parvati answered briefly. "Lying in bed."

"What a coincidence," Hermione purred. "Has something upset her stomach, perhaps?"

Parvati made no reply, and in silence they finally arrived at the laboratory next to the dungeon, which, as Snape had announced, was open. The whelks were in a box on the shelf under the jars, where they crawled around guilelessly on their lettuce leaves.

Now Parvati also felt sorry for the poor creatures. They had never had to kill animals before, and it was typical of Snape to throw them in at the deep end. If only he thought it necessary to be there!

She grabbed a snail and cast the sleeping spell over it, just as Hermione and Harry did with their snails. Then came the more unpleasant part. The snail's body was pulled out of the protective house with a lot of smacking noises and cut into thin slices. As they did so, a smell rose to Parvati's nose that instantly caused her to retch. "Whoa! That stinks!" she gasped chokingly.

"That's not an expression at all!" groaned Harry, his eyes watering. Only Hermione put on a brave face, which was quite a feat. And during the crushing process, it got worse. The dead snail's bodily fluids oozed out of the tissue in a nausea-inducing manner, and at one point a stream shot Parvati right in the face. "Blimey! I'm gonna puke!" she screamed. Again she retched, and her anger at Snape rose immeasurably. Why did they have to do this shitty work without supervision? Because it made him sick himself?

"Phew, done," Harry finally said with relief, tipping the remains of the snail into his potion. "And the whole thing twice more tomorrow …"

"Let's get out of here!" said Hermione. "What are you doing, Parvati?"

"Another one for Lavender," Parvati declared, grimacing.

"There is really no helping you!"

"Shall we wait?" volunteered Harry.

Parvati let her gaze slide over the glasses on the shelf, all of which had already been enriched by their unappetising ingredient. "No, you go ahead. Looks like we were the last ones."

Harry and Hermione disappeared, and Parvati set to work, cursing. At last, she was finished and, relieved, plopped the snail into Lavender's glass. She was about to leave when she heard someone in the corridor. In one leap she disappeared behind the large disposal bin—it was like a reflex. Her fear of meeting Draco alone after what had happened today was just too great.

And indeed it was Draco Malfoy who entered the room a short time later. The fact that the light was still on didn't seem to surprise him. With bated breath, Parvati peeked out from behind the bin and watched as he approached the shelf; pleased, she registered that all five of her fingers could still be seen on his cheek. With narrowed eyes, Draco inspected the solution in his jar, and from the look on his face, he seemed to dislike something about it. Then he turned and walked back to the door. "Uncle Sev!" he blared into the hallway.

Parvati could not believe it. Uncle Sev! She suppressed an impulse to laugh.

Immediately afterwards, she indeed heard footsteps. "Has your suspicion been confirmed?" she heard the dark voice of her teacher.

"Yeah, unfortunately," Draco muttered. "My solution has somehow turned … brownish!"

Now Snape came into Parvati's field of vision and took up position in front of the shelf. "Yes, that did go a bit wrong," Snape said with ironic regret. "I guess you didn't work the snail long enough, eh, Dray? Did you get sick, or something?"

Draco growled something that sounded suspiciously like "vomit" and stepped next to Snape.

"You're such a wimp," Snape rebuked him. "Look here, even Brown got it right! Her solution is flawless, just like her friend's!"

Parvati grinned to herself behind her bin, but it faded the next moment when she heard Draco's reply. "Don't you dare compare me to her!" he hissed hatefully. "That mudblood****!" He used such a vulgar expression that Parvati got hot cheeks.

Apparently this was also for Snape too much. "Now pull yourself together, my dear!" he reprimanded his godson. "How many times do I have to tell you, don't let the Gryffindor girls provoke you into anything rash. That was enough at the weekend!"

"But Patil shot us with the Full Body-Bind curse!" cried Draco indignantly.

"I don't believe you. I know she could, but she lacks the criminal energy to use such curses just out of anger. No, my dear. The curse was sent by you, and she merely warded it off."

Aha? Listen to this! Parvati raised her eyebrows in her hiding place. Two days ago, that sounded quite different, Professor!

"Yeah, go ahead and protect her!" sneered Draco.

"I just wanted to tell you that you'd better not mess with her. Parvati Patil is a skilled sorceress and quick and smart as well. She can definitely hold a candle to you!"

Parvati's cheeks grew hot again, but this time for entirely different reasons. Her heart began to beat wildly. Skilled sorceress … quick and smart … and she had never heard her first name come out of his mouth!

"But, Sev—she's a mudblood!" cried Draco accusingly. "And a foreigner!"

"No one can help their origins, Draco," Severus said hoarsely. "Not even you!"

"Dumbledore revisited," Draco muttered and asked gruffly, "So, what am I supposed to do with this solution now?"

"I'll take it to my lab overnight. I think I can still save it. But I won't spare you the next snails!"

Draco screwed up his face and Parvati rolled her eyes. He shouldn't make such a fuss! It's so convenient to be a Slytherin and have Uncle Sev wipe his bum! That is again so unfair!

Nevertheless, his words had left a warm feeling in her. And the fact that he could assess things realistically and reprimand Draco accordingly made him rise in her esteem.

She shifted her weight a little to get a better look at Severus, who was taking Draco's solution from the shelf. She really looks like shit, Parvati thought gloatingly. I hope they leave now! Her foot was just falling asleep and she wouldn't last long in this uncomfortable squatting position.

But Draco didn't even think about it. "Speaking of criminal energy," he said now in a drawling voice. "Did you feel it too, Uncle Sev?"

"Yes, Draco. Of course," Severus said quietly. "We should be there at midnight sharp. We'll Disapparate together in any case."

"That would be convenient," Draco said in a blasé voice, but Parvati heard a quiet tremor in it.

"Good, let's go then." Severus turned away from the shelf, and the two Slytherins left the lab, not without turning off the lights. Then the heavy door slammed shut and Parvati heard the key turn in the lock.

"Oh God! Fuck!" she gasped and shot out from behind the bin. Her first impulse was to bang on the door in panic, but she quickly thought better of it. They could never know that she had overheard their conversation! Never!

"Lumos!" hissed Parvati, and her wand lit up. Slowly her heartbeat calmed down again and she forced herself to wait the few minutes until midnight, until the two of them could definitely no longer cross her path. That gave her plenty of time to think about what she had just heard. What had Draco and Severus sensed? And where were they going now?

Parvati actually knew, but only slowly let the truth sink in her shocked mind. They are going to the Death Eaters … to the Dark Lord. "Oh, God," she whispered, "why is it getting me down like that now?"

She had actually always suspected it, actually even had the certainty, because Harry had leaked enough to her, especially since they had founded Dumbledore's Army in the last school year. Severus was on their side, on Dumbledore's side, he belonged to the Order of the Phoenix. And yet, since Voldemort's resurrection, he went to the Death Eater meetings as he used to—but this time only as a spy, with Dumbledore's approval.

Parvati suddenly remembered what Severus had said to Dumbledore last week: "It will hopefully sweeten what I have to tell you!" Was that what it was about? Was it about things that had happened at such a meeting?

Her hair stood on end. What does he have to look at? And above all, what does he have to do? He's only going as a spy, but will that make him any less guilty?

She and especially Lavender had always suppressed these dark facts with all their might in order to be able to continue living in their Sevie-dream world. They had never talked about it when they were among themselves and let their fantasies run free. It just didn't fit. Or did they just never want to admit to themselves that it only made this man more mysterious to them—

From this point on, Parvati forbade herself to think further, as she did every time. Anyway, she had waited enough now. The two of them had to be long gone. She walked quietly to the door and raised her wand. "Alohomora!" she murmured, and the door swung open. "Thank God," she sighed and she made sure that she got out of the dungeon. Luckily, Severus hadn't spoken the Locking Spell over that door, or she probably wouldn't have been found there until tomorrow morning …

Parvati arrived almost an hour late for Astronomy class, which was held outdoors in the observatory on the top floor of the castle. She immediately noticed that Draco was absent and began to shiver. Professor Sinistra was currently standing with her back to her with Susan Bones and Hannah Abbott, adjusting their telescope. So she quickly sidled over to Lavender, who was also staring through a telescope at the numerous stars with a dreamy expression on her face, and poked her in the side. "Oh—finally!" whispered Lavender in relief. "What took you so long?"

"Doing your job," Parvati replied with a mirthless grin, pulling her cardigan tighter around her shoulders. "But you seem to be doing well again!"

"I hope you're not feeling sick now," Lavender said contritely. "Harry has already told me what I missed …"

"Oh yes, you really missed out," laughed Parvati, making all kinds of vomiting noises. If you only knew what you really missed! she thought to herself. "And tomorrow is your turn, just so you know! After all, you've got the first two lessons off!"

"Oh, no!" begged Lavender desperately. "Please, don't do this to me, I just can't … in return, you can look through the telescope for a very long time now!" She jumped up from her chair and pushed Parvati in front of the big telescope. "Today you can see the Milky Way perfectly clear," she said in a soft voice. "And Mars, too!"

"Well, in that case …," Parvati said wryly, squinting through the telescope.

At that moment, Professor Sinistra called the class together to give a short lecture on the constellation of the Pleiades. She hadn't noticed at all that Parvati had joined the class, just as she had probably not noticed her absence before.

Parvati didn't pay any attention. She stared at the moonless sky above her, listened to the sounds coming from the forest and breathed the mild air. And somewhere out there, they are now, bowing before Voldemort, she thought. Of course, it was the Dark Mark they had spoken of earlier, the mark with which "He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named" branded his followers as his property. And that Mark was what they felt when he ordered them to come to him.

At the thought of Severus having such a thing on his left forearm made Parvati's hair stand on end. And Draco—she hated him, but he was only sixteen! He sounded scared in the lab … did his father forced him to join the Death Eaters?, she mused, almost feeling something like pity. But at the same time she was frightened. Draco Malfoy seemed to be more dangerous than she had assumed until now.

And Severus … Parvati remembered all the things he had said about her to Draco—and they had been positive throughout. She recalled the sound of his voice when he had said her name, and her heart felt as if it would burst at any moment. Parvati felt more confused than ever before in her life. And what was that telltale lump in her throat?

"Parvati, is anything wrong?" whispered Lavender as they returned to the telescopes. "Was there something in the dungeon?"

Parvati shook her head.

"But you look like you're about to cry!" observed Lavender.

"Oh, it's just the atmosphere here," Parvati said gruffly, "you say so yourself all the time!"

Lavender nodded and squeezed her hand; Parvati looked to the side. She couldn't tell Lavender anything, neither about the overheard conversation, nor about her strange feelings. After all, it was her friend who was in love with Severus. And not her.

Only when they were lying in their beds at just before two did Parvati let her tears drip quietly into her pillow. Again and again, Severus and Draco's conversation rewound in her head, and she found no sleep.

Units of measurement:
1 grain = 65 milligrams