(Bella)
I sat alone on the end of my tailgate, watching the last of the sun's rays as they sunk closer to the earth, as far away stars began to peek in the sky. I had parked my truck along the sand of La push's beach after I had left Emily's house. A cool breeze gently chilled my skin.
I wanted space, time alone to think. On a whim I had decided not to drive home yet. My thoughts were a chaotic whirlwind. As I continued to watch the dying light I thought back on the day's events.
Paul. The silver wolf. I couldn't explain it, I couldn't explain any of it, but the moment he opened the door and our eyes met… I felt like I had stared into them a thousand times before. Being so close to him… my mind blanked. He's attractive, sure, but… that wasn't it. It had felt like more than that, like… like I had been missing some pivotal piece of myself. I've lost my damn mind again, I had to have.
He hates me, he has to. I knew that, and yet…thinking it out loud hurt. But why? I'm nothing to him, a stranger, an outsider who knows too damn much. I agreed to babysit with him because I wanted to pay a debt, and because I wanted to have a chance to apologize to him. I had felt hesitant, the strange dreams….
Why do I feel this way?
Why… do I feel so drawn to him?
Why do I keep dreaming about him?
I thought back to our conversation, I made a total fool of myself again. There was no way he didn't think I was a massive idiot, and yet he said he wanted to start over. I was so relieved when he said it, then introduced himself…. I raised my hand and examined it absentmindedly, remembering the moment. When we touched… when he'd said my name…. It all felt so familiar. I lowered my hand.
It doesn't matter.
I knew that. My fate was already sealed. It was only a matter of time before… I couldn't afford to get distracted. I only have so much time left. It had been six months since the Cullen's left. The monster, he'll be back. He said a year, two years…. I don't have time for another nervous breakdown.
The sun had all but disappeared. I gazed at the new stars, picked one and focused on it. Staring at that tiny, little cosmic light, so far away, yet so strong, I wondered… will I ever get my light back, or will I simply fade away, small and insignificant, unremembered?
Will God even bother to remember me?
A solitary tear slid down my cheek.
I have so much left to do before…. I have to make sure Charlie and Jacob will be okay…. It's not time yet. But it's coming.
—-
(Paul)
"What's wrong?!" Sam demanded as he followed me out. I had turned from him mid conversation, charging out the door.
"Bella- I don't know yet- her emotions. I don't like the turn they just took."
He had returned home just a bit after Bella had left, he had been in the middle of telling me about some suspicious tracks that he and Jared had found, when I felt a giant tug in my bond with Bella.
I felt her usual depression, her sadness, her heartbreak, but something in our bond demanded my attention. One single thought echoed in my mind, she needs you and she's running out of time.
I needed to see her, to know she was okay, that she didn't… I knew it was bad, since the day in the meadow, but I had underestimated just how bad it had gotten.
What if she…?
I banished the thought. No, I'd know if she was hurt. I had rushed out into the yard, jerked open my cab door and stepped in, starting the engine.
"Is she hurt?" Emily demanded as she had followed me and Sam out.
I ignored her as Sam answered her and peeled out of their driveway, driving towards the pull that was guiding me to her.
She ended up not being very far. Feeling that I was close, I parked a ways away and continued on foot. I found her at the beach, sitting on her tailgate and staring at the stars. She looked… serene, to anyone who couldn't feel the deep well of emotions she felt. I stood concealed in the shadows of the trees, watching her for a moment. Trying to gauge her intentions.
I knew I was being a damn creep again, but I needed to be sure she was okay, that she hadn't tried anything yet…. If that's what it takes to keep her alive then that's what it takes.
I settled in for a long night. There was no way in hell I was letting her out of my sight now.