(Paul)
I landed face first on my bed, my face sinking into the pillow. It had been three days since I had slept, between working and keeping an eye on Bella, I had barely managed to return home to shower and immediately leave again. Even now, as worn out as I was, I hated having someone else watching over her, especially now.
She's okay, she's hanging out with Dumb ass right now. I wished that was more reassuring, but I knew as stupid as he was, he'd never let anything happen to her. Not even herself.
I flopped over on my back and glared at my ceiling.
I knew her depression was bad, ever since I'd gotten the first taste of it the day our eyes met in the meadow. It hadn't been until Wednesday that I felt her intentions. It made sense. The… resignation I'd felt from her, mixed with her loneliness, her hurt, her deep sadness… even her anger. I should have pieced this together sooner.
Mom killed herself. I should have seen the signs.
What was it about Dracula that brought her to this?
Can she really not fathom life without him?
That only served to piss me off.
No way in hell I'm letting her leave me.
I internally cringed at the intrusive thought. I was supposed to be making an exit, breaking the bond, walking away.
But….
With every passing moment, every glimpse I caught of her, the sound of her voice….
The more I wanted to learn about her.
Everything about her… was so familiar. Like… I had known her in a million past lives before this one. Like I had cherished her in every single one of them….
Goddamn it, stop being stupid!
I blew out a frustrated breath.
The bond is winning.
As I laid in bed, glaring at the ceiling my thoughts continued to race.
What if I made her forget Dracula?
What if….
I didn't like the direction my thoughts were going. I immediately sat up in bed.
I need to see Emily.
Resolved, I stalked back through the house and snatched up my truck keys.
I didn't bother knocking, due to Sam and Emily's open door policy during this time of day. I stormed through their living room, following my nose to where I knew Emily would be.
" 'Thought Sam told you to get some sleep?" Embry asked as I passed him.
"Beat it." I snarled at him.
I found Emily standing in the kitchen, preparing a bundle of flowers from her garden for a vase. She looked up when she heard me.
"You should be sleeping, Paul." She lightly scolded. "It's been days."
I took my usual seat at her counter.
"I need to talk."
She looked me up and down then placed the flowers and her gardening tool down.
"That serious, huh?"
I looked down, then nodded. She leaned on the counter across from me.
"Tell me about it."
"It's this damn bond, it's winning." I had to swallow my pride to say it out loud.
"Let's be honest Paul, we all knew it would."
"It's still a problem."
"Doesn't have to be."
"It does." I sighed. "She doesn't even want me, Emily."
"She hasn't had the chance to yet, she barely knows you, Paul."
"I don't exactly know a whole heap about her either."
"You can't deny that you have the advantage over her in that area, though."
It's true. She didn't have the added curse of feeling every emotion I felt, like I did for her.
"I didn't ask for this."
"She didn't, either."
"Very helpful, Emily."
"I'm simply saying that she's in the same boat as you, Paul. She's just as tied to you as you are to her, she just doesn't have the benefit of knowing it yet, like you do."
"I'm running out of time."
"Oh honey, there was never a clock to begin with." She gave me a sympathetic look. "You were both doomed, long before either of you had entered that meadow."
I took a deep breath.
"Now that I've seen exactly where her head's at, what she's planning… I can't stand it, Emily. Everytime I think of the world without her, it hurts me, in a way I didn't even think was possible."
"So it really has gotten that bad?"
"It's been bad, Emily. And yet, somehow, every day it gets worse." Vaguely, I remembered the day I'd found my mother….
Again, I was pissed off at the sentient corpse she called an ex.
How dare he leave her like this-
"Tremors, Paul." Emily gently warned me, I took a few deep breaths, gripping the counter.
She waited patiently.
Finally, I pulled myself together.
"Sorry."
"So then, are you finally ready to tell her now?"
"No."
"Paul-"
"I'm not, Emily, I'm never going to tell her."
"I don't understand then, I thought you said it was winning?"
"It is-" Absentmindedly I picked up one of her flowers "But I'm still never going to let her know about it. If she does choose me, it'll be because she wants to, not because she feels obligated to."
"So…?"
Resolved, I put the flower down.
"I'm going to win her over."
I'll make her mine, and she'll never think about him again.
Emily smiled.
"Good-"
"Damn, you didn't even last a month-" Embry scoffed as he leaned against the wall.
"Get fucked, Embry."
"Both of you-!" Emily warned us. She turned her attention back to me. "Paul-"
"So is this going to be before, or after you tell her what a man whore you are?" He asked as he stole an apple from Emily's fruit bowl.
"Embry-!" Emily began.
"Remind me again, how many one night stands have you had?"
"Why? Interested?" I shot back.
Embry growled.
"Paul!"
"Relax, pup. I'm sure you'll find a way to lose that pesky cherry eventually."
Embry began to tremble violently.
"Nothing you do is going to change the fact that she loves Jacob." He snarled as he fought for control.
"Let me know when you're done riding Jacob's dick."
"Damn it you two!" Emily interrupted.
"I'm getting some air before I kill him, Em." Embry called as he turned to leave, fighting for control.
I noticed the look Emily was giving me.
"What?"
"I'm not saying he wasn't wrong, but did you really have to antagonize him so much?"
"Meh, it's good for him. It'll work off some of his baby chub."
Emily rolled her eyes.
"You are supposed to be older, try to be a little more mature."
"Just for you, I'll work on it."
She sighed.
"How about you just go get that sleep Sam sent you for?"
I couldn't deny that my exhaustion was catching up to me, reluctantly I agreed. I do have to sleep eventually. I stood from the stool and made my way through the house to the front door, on my way to my truck.
Bella's emotions had tapered off for the day, she seemed happy to spend the day with Dumb ass. I tried to ignore how bad that bugged me. I had been driving on my way home, or I thought I had been, when I realized I had gone in the completely opposite direction, towards Bella. I could feel the pull becoming stronger and knew I was close, though it hadn't been my intention. Aggravated with myself, I prepared to make a turn to change my destination when her emotions took a drastic turn into straight up pain. My mind blanked instead and I allowed the pull to guide me, speeding up as I did so.
I yanked the truck door open and stepped down, running in the direction of the pull, eventually finding a dirt road with two figures huddled on the side of it. Dumb ass was leaning over her with his shirt trying to stop the bleeding, and Bella was laying on the ground, having knocked herself out cold. Beside them were two motorcycles, red and black. I stormed over and snatched Dumb ass by his shoulder, making him turn towards me.
"I told you to fucking watch her!" I seethed.
"I'm not her damn babysitter, I'm her damn friend-" He began after pushing my hand off and standing up. "We were just riding bikes-"
"I can fucking see that, and was it your genius idea to let her ride with no instruction or experience?!" I looked down at her. "Or at least a fucking helmet!"
"Of course I instructed her-"
"Is that why she's bleeding on the fucking ground?!" I demanded as I knelt down to examine her head wound. It wasn't bad, she'll be fine with a clean washcloth and some ice….
I scooped her up in my arms.
"Where the hell do you-?" Dumb ass began to argue.
I am in no mood for this shit.
I took my fist and slammed it under his chin, hitting the sweet spot I knew from years of experience would knock him out cold.
He fell like a ton of bricks.
I stepped over him with Bella adjusted in my arms.
Safe in my truck cab, she gently groaned occasionally as I drove her to my house, her eyes fluttering.
Once I brought her into the house I laid her on my couch and went to the kitchen, returning with a clean, damp washcloth and the ice pack I kept in the freezer. I knelt beside her on the floor and gently dabbed the dried blood away before holding the ice pack to her head.
Finally she fluttered her eyes and opened them, looking up at me in confusion.
"Jake-" She began.
I tried to ignore how bad that stung.
Her eyes fully focused now, she tried again.
"Paul?" She asked, then she tried to look around. "I-? Where's Jake-?"
"He's taking a nap." I answered as I continued to hold the ice pack to her forehead.
"A nap? But- weren't we-?"
"Being idiots? Yes. Yes you were."
She frowned at me.
"We were just-, wait, why am I here?" She asked as she tried to look around, surveying her unfamiliar environment.
"Thought you might prefer bleeding on a couch as opposed to in the street." I answered.
She cringed. "It wasn't that bad."
"Sure babe, really going to try selling that to the guy holding your ice pack?"
"I-I'm n-not your babe." She complained, her scowl deepening, I'm going to enjoy teasing her. "And it's not- I'm f-fine as you can clearly see."
"So the kitten does have claws?"
"Are you trying to make me mad?"
"Just checking your pulse."
She glared at me, then she blushed.
"I- I c-can do that m-myself, now." She protested as she tried to take the ice pack from me.
I really didn't want to give it to her, now that she was so close…. I banished the thought and let her have the ice pack. She held onto it and began to sit up.
"So. Motorcycles. Really?"
"W-what do you care?"
Damn. Good question.
"One would assume that if one were interested in learning to ride a motorcycle, one would seek the instruction of one with experience."
"J-Jake has experience-"
"Putting one together isn't quite the same as riding one." I argued.
"W-what would you know?!" She demanded.
"I happen to own one." I answered. "If you want to ride so bad, how about I take you?"
She gaped at me. I waited.
"B-but, J-Jake-?"
"Me taking you might save both your asses. I know for a fact Jacob barely knows shit about riding one."
She assessed me.
"I-I promised Jake…."
"And now I'm promising you."
She blushed crimson. I gazed deep into her eyes.
"Let me take you before you both end up killed."
As she hesitated, I could feel the literal war waging inside of her. Something was keeping her from saying yes, and it wasn't Dumb ass. I could taste fear radiating from her.
"Bella… I'll never let you get hurt."
She returned my gaze, something about what I'd said made her heart drop. Of course she's not going to trust me yet.
The same well of emotions I was used to her feeling, but now the flavor of resignation returned. The same feeling that told me…. The words echoed in my mind, 'she's running out of time.'
I'm going to find this woman's will to live if it kills us both.
Finally, she nodded, not wanting to try speaking with her strong emotions yet.
"Good. I'll pick you up tomorrow."