Chapter Nine | Omnia mutantur, et nos mutamur in illis
[All things change and we change with them]
Vivian is a little wary about attending the next Order meeting. Her unexpected run-in with Regulus weighs on her mind all day, and even the small tasks she attempts to distract herself with don't help to divert her thoughts from the encounter. She spends the morning before the meeting writing Gavin a letter in response to the one he'd sent several days before, but she finds that it takes her more effort than it ought to. She spends the first paragraph telling him that she's happy he's enjoying his time in Norway, but once it comes time to update him on the latest events in her own life, she is unable to come up with the right words. She's not sure what she should tell him and what she shouldn't. How much information should she put down in writing? What are the chances of her letter being opened by another's hands before it is able to reach his? Gavin doesn't know anything about the Order. Sirius had convinced her weeks ago that it would be a bad idea to disclose such information in a letter, and she had agreed. So instead, she writes about the latest happenings in her life and says nothing about Regulus or the Order of the Phoenix, even though she dearly wishes she could. She would very much like to have Gavin's take on everything. He would surely have a perspective different from her own. She gets about halfway through the letter before all inspiration leaves her, and Vivian sighs and pushes it away to finish later. She doesn't much like the thought of leaving Gavin out of the loop, and for the first time since they had said their goodbyes weeks before, she feels herself missing him very much.
In search of something else to distract herself with, Vivian wanders around the cottage for a time before making her way into the small living room, where Sirius had proudly placed the strange muggle music contraption. She eyes the round discs that he calls 'vinyls' and, bored, begins to look through them. As expected, she doesn't recognize most of the bands, though she's sure she's heard many of them by now. The artwork on the covers vary from dark shades to bright, primal hues, like the one her fingers linger on now.
"That's a good one," Sirius's voice suddenly cuts through the silence, and Vivian startles for one brief moment when his hand appears in her vision and he reaches for the one she was looking at.
She turns her eyes from his face to the cover of the record. The whole of it is a bright red, with one thin line of blue down the side. She raises an eyebrow at it and says, "It doesn't look very impressive."
Behind her, Sirius huffs and sighs, "You'll change your mind once you hear it, Vivi."
A quiet warmth spreads through her at the use of the nickname, which grows when Sirius wraps his arms around her from behind and muses, "You know, I still haven't brought you to a proper rock concert. We really need to change that."
She hums dryly, though notably doesn't try to wrangle herself out of his arms, and replies, "I'm not sure if that's a good idea, what with everything going on."
She feels him shrug. There's a grin in his voice when he says, "A little bit of risk makes living worthwhile. Besides, my latest goal is to get you completely hooked on muggle music."
At this, Vivian laughs and turns in his arms to send him an amused look. "Is it?"
Sirius smiles smugly at her and says, "Well you're already obsessed with muggle books. This is the next step."
She just laughs and murmurs, "…If you say so," but doesn't argue.
At around five o'clock, Vivian and Sirius make their way to London, to the muggle pub that has been the backdrop of the last few Order meetings. After an entire day spent quietly worrying about how she's going to tell Dumbledore about her encounter with Regulus, Vivian is grateful that the wait is over. She's pleased to get this over with, at the very least, even though she's expecting her message to be taken with a heavy helping of distrust. That seems to be the way of things of late.
"It's going to be fine, Vivian," Sirius tells her yet again as they approach the muggle pub. They receive quite a few odd glances, as per usual. Though Sirius is wearing muggle clothes, Vivian's long cloak attracts attention, and she figures that the strange combination of their appearances doesn't help matters any. She's grown accustomed to these glances though, and merely strides to the door and shrugs them off.
She doesn't respond to Sirius, though she does send him a silent nod as they enter the pub. He's been repeating these words all day. Evidently, her concerns have been a bit more obvious than she'd meant them to be.
The pub is bustling when they enter it. Because it's evening and the work day is over, there's hardly a free table in sight. It's somewhat fascinating to watch how business is conducted without the use of magic, but neither Vivian nor Sirius linger too long. They had been a bit late to the last meeting and had gotten a glower from Moody upon their tardy arrival, and neither of them wishes to relive that particular experience. Moody's glowers can be rather frightful, especially when one is unprepared to be on the receiving end of them.
The location of their meetings have changed several times since the first one they had attended several weeks before. The last one had been in a pub located just beside the Thames, and the one before that in an upscale establishment near Kensington. In contrast, their current location is far less impressive, but it serves its purpose despite the crowded back room in which the meeting is to be held. When Vivian and Sirius enter it and shut the door behind them, they find that most of their fellows have already arrived, but thankfully, they don't seem to be holding the meeting up this time.
"You're just in time," James murmurs as Sirius falls into the seat beside him. "We're just waiting on Peter."
Vivian hums and glances around with a raised brow. "Where's Evans?" she asks, turning her attention to the seat on James's other side. Instead of being occupied by the redhead, Remus is sitting there. It's quite irregular, these days, to see James without Lily.
At the mention of his ladylove's absence, James mournfully sighs, "She's attending her sister's wedding shower."
"…I didn't know she had a sister," Vivian mutters as she sits down next to Sirius.
James sniffs, "Yes, well. I wouldn't say this if Lily was here, but Petunia's a total cow. You should see the man she's marrying, too." Then, smirking, he leans around Sirius to add, "He looks remarkably like a walrus."
Vivian snorts. She can't quite help the smirk that captures her mouth at James's mock-whisper. "I take it you don't like him, either," she guesses.
Jame mutters, "He's even worse than Petunia, and she's no ray of sunshine either."
Sirius rolls his eyes at the two of them and shoves James out of his personal space. "Dumbledore's here," he says when James raises an eyebrow at the move.
Indeed, Dumbledore is even now sweeping into the room, dressed this time in the usual long robes that Vivian is accustomed to seeing him in. The sight of him immediately silences the room, as does the grave look on his face. Mad-Eye clears his throat and stands to attention at the head of the table, where he had been sitting moments before. He exchanges a brief nod with Dumbledore, who murmurs a short greeting before turning to the rest of the table. Just as Dumbledore is opening his mouth to speak, however, the door bursts open and everyone turns to stare at Peter, who appears to be out of breath. To be honest, he seems more than just out of breath.
"S-sorry," he squeaks, and hurries to one of the empty chairs, ducking his head as he passes Moody's now-glowering expression. He nearly collapses into the chair, still breathing heavily, and mops at his sweaty forehead with the back of his hand. He seems paler than usual.
Though Mad-Eye looks like he wants to draw attention to Peter's lateness, Dumbledore merely gazes at the occupants of the table and, after several beats of silence, says, "Now that we're all here, I'm afraid I have some unfortunate news." He pauses again before pursing his lips and saying, "One of our spies in the Ministry was found early yesterday morning dead in his home. The Dark Mark was seen over his house."
The silence of the room grows even more solemn upon hearing this. Sirius furrows his brow and frowns.
"…The fact that it was one of our own is concerning," Dumbledore continues. "We're still looking into the cause – "
"It was murder, plain and simple," Moody grumbles.
Dumbledore shoots him a look. "Yes," he says after a long, drawn out moment. "But as to whether any connection could be traced to the Order, we are still unsure. The reason I've called this meeting is to warn you all to be on your guard. Trust no one outside of this room. Voldemort will do everything in his power to quell our humble uprising and we must be cautious in all of our actions, even – and perhaps most importantly – when we think we are safe."
Vivian threads her fingers together beneath the table and swallows down the lump in her throat. Dumbledore's words hit home for her in a way that she can't deny, and all she can see is Regulus's face in her thoughts. Trust no one, Dumbledore had said, but surely she can trust Regulus? The news of this latest murder makes her suddenly doubt this, though, and she wonders if she ought to speak with Dumbledore about her encounter after all. The same concerns that have plagued her all day grow now, as she sits there. What will Dumbledore say if he knew that she had met with Regulus Black, a known Death Eater? Her position with the Order is already precarious as it is with her own less-than-stellar background.
A hand suddenly reaches for hers, and Vivian glances over at Sirius, who seems to be aware of the direction her thoughts had taken. He sends her a quietly confident look that sets her mind at ease, but it doesn't dispel all of her concerns. Still, she's grateful for his presence and slips her hand into his all the same, finding a certain strength in his touch.
"Edgar, you still have good standing at the Ministry," Dumbledore is saying. "Be careful not to draw attention to yourself. We need more people there or we will be well and truly overwhelmed. Keep yours ears open for anything of interest."
Edgar Bones, who is sitting on the other side of the table, nods grimly. Dumbledore glances at Moody and nods to him, seemingly sending him a silent signal. The message is received, for Mad-Eye clears his throat a moment later and reaches into his pocket. He pulls out a small stack of parchment, several inches in width and length, and sets them on the table. Then, drawing out his wand, he flicks it over the papers and they begin to drift through the air to each of the table's occupants.
"This is our latest mode of communication," Moody informs them in his gruff voice. "When Albus decides on the date and location of the meeting, it will appear on the parchment. It's not failproof, so make sure you don't let it fall into the wrong hands. We're working on a better way to communicate. I'm expecting that it will be ready to introduce during the next meeting."
Two of the squares of parchment flutter onto the table in front of Vivian and Sirius. She reaches for it, thumbing over the edge as she studies the nondescript paper. It's blank for now; an empty canvas with nothing discriminatory to give its true purpose away. It appears to be little more than a scrap of parchment torn off of a larger roll and abandoned.
"Now, I wish to speak with Mr. Lupin privately," Dumbledore says, which seems to surprise Remus. He looks up with raised eyebrows, only for Dumbledore to gesture to the side of the room. A moment later, Remus is shuffling out of his chair and making his way over to him.
The rest of the Order members begin to talk quietly amongst themselves after that, speculating on the murder of Dumbledore's Ministry acquaintance. As they do, James turns to Peter and studies his pallid form with a frown.
"You okay, Pete? Why were you late?" he asks, sounding a bit worried. "You didn't run into any trouble, did you?"
Vivian and Sirius turn to Peter too, who seems to wilt beneath the attention. None of them find this particularly strange. Peter never liked being in the spotlight.
"Erm, yeah, I just…forgot where we were meeting," Peter says with a cough.
The explanation is a bit more inane that James had been expecting, because he snorts, "You forgot? Merlin, Wormtail, and here I thought you had more than two braincells."
Sirius laughs, but quickly muffles the sound and says, "Don't worry, Pete. James here is just languishing in Lily's absence and taking his agony out on you."
James frowns at him and mutters, "…That's not true. I can survive without Lily. I'd just rather not."
Vivian rolls her eyes but decides not to get involved in the latest Marauder drama. As for Peter, he seems just as pleased that the conversation has moved on from him, and sits back in his chair to watch the back and forth.
"You say I'm whipped, but I think you should take a better look at yourself, mate," Sirius drawls.
James's response to this is a simple, "Ah, but the difference is that I never said I wasn't, Padfoot. See, unlike you, I'm perfectly content with Lily ordering me around."
Sirius sends him an incredulous look and sighs, "You're barmy."
James shrugs, "I've never denied that, either."
Vivian, who has been ignoring them as much as she is able, turns her attention to Remus and Dumbledore, who are still standing on the other end of the room and speaking in hushed undertones.
"What do you think they're talking about, anyway?" she murmurs, tilting her head curiously.
Sirius shrugs. "Dunno. I'm sure Moony'll tell us after the meeting though." Then, turning to James, he says, "How about you and Wormtail come over for a drink?"
Vivian, whose attention is still on Remus and Dumbledore, just barely hears James refuse the offer because he was "planning on crashing Petunia's wedding shower at the earliest opportunity to save my Lilyflower from an evening of intense boredom". At this, she sends James a look and sighs, "Are you trying to make Lily's sister hate you, Potter?"
James just leans back in his chair and smugly responds, "Oh, I've already accomplished that, Pride. It was my first order of business."
Vivian stares at him for one long moment before rolling her eyes again and muttering, "Gryffindors," beneath her breath.
The conversation quickly turns back to the murder, but Vivian is too busy watching for an opening to speak with Dumbledore and she doesn't join in. The first moment she sees the opportunity, she's standing up and making her way across the room, much to the surprise of James, who had been in the middle of asking her what she thinks of Voldemort's not-so-subtle plan on infiltrating the Ministry. Sirius stands up quickly too and follows her, leaving James without further explanation.
"I'd like to talk to you," Vivian says as Remus is turning back to the table. Dumbledore and Remus both glance at her in subtle surprise, the latter looking back at Dumbledore before clearing his throat and taking his leave. The moment he's gone, Dumbledore turns to Vivian with a calm expression.
"Rest assured, Vivian," he says, "I've been considering what role you might take – "
"It's not that," Vivian interrupts, much to his surprise. Dumbledore pauses and studies her, waiting for her to further explain herself. She does a moment later, just as Sirius comes to stand beside her.
"Regulus Black approached me the other day," she says in a hushed tone, not wanting anyone to overhear, especially Moody. The man already distrusts her as it is, it seems. She doesn't want him to think that she sought Regulus out herself.
Dumbledore doesn't seem to be expecting this, because he straightens up and raises his eyebrows at her. "…And what did Mr. Black want?" is all he asks. His tone is light, but the serious way he's looking at her makes it clear that he is very interested in hearing her answer.
Vivian awkwardly shifts on her feet and responds, "The spell that Voldemort wanted me to create for him last year? The one that strengths Inferi?" She pauses and mutters, "Apparently it isn't working properly. Regulus came to warn me that Voldemort wants me to fix it. I know you said not to trust anyone outside this room, but Regulus…cares for me. I believe he was being sincere."
She sees Sirius frown out of the corner of her eye, but he doesn't say anything. He's well aware of the affections his brother has for Vivian. It hadn't escaped him last year, when Regulus had stood up for Vivian during the moments when he had taken things a little too far. It was clear as day that Regulus cared about her, but Vivian has never spoken about it all that much since they had left Hogwarts. That particular topic isn't one they dwell on overmuch.
Dumbledore hums thoughtfully, still studying Vivian over the rim of his half-moon spectacles. In a calm voice, he says, "I've been looking into Voldemort's fascination with Inferi. It is my belief that he is attempting to create an army of them, though I haven't yet come to any conclusions as to whether he means to use them to bolster his own troops or if he has another plan for them." He trails off, then purses his mouth and adds, "It was good that you brought this to my attention. I recommend that you remain under the radar for the time being, Vivian. If Voldemort himself is searching for you, then you should take care not to make his search too easy. It does concern me that Mr. Black was able to track you down."
Sirius frowns and mutters, "Yeah…that concerns me as well."
Dumbledore sighs, "I believe this needs to be given some thought. We'll speak more about it at the next meeting, once I've mulled it over."
At this moment, Mad-Eye approaches Dumbledore and cuts short his words. He leaves the pair to speak with the Auror, much to Vivian's frustration. She glances over at Sirius and mutters, "Why does it feel like he's brushing me off again?"
Sirius doesn't appear to know what to say. In a hesitant voice, he murmurs, "He's a busy man…?"
The answer doesn't appear to make her feel any better, and Vivian just scoffs.
Despite James's prior plans to crash Petunia's wedding shower, both him and Remus end up returning to the cottage after the meeting is finished. Sirius had invited Peter along as well, but the invitation had been denied. Apparently, Peter has met someone (a cause for much teasing from the other Marauders) and is meeting with his new flame that night for their first date (yet another cause for teasing). After parting ways, the remaining three Marauders talk about it for the duration of the journey back and don't stop until they are comfortably sitting on the couch in Vivian and Sirius's living room.
"What did you want to talk to Dumbledore about, Pride?" James asks as Sirius flicks his wand and procures a bottle of firewhiskey for them. James sets out several glasses for them.
Vivian glances over at Sirius, silently wondering if she should tell James about Regulus. Despite talking about wanting to hash out a plan, neither of them has done so, and she isn't sure how much she should say. Sirius makes it easy for her though, and murmurs, "We should tell them. If something happens to you, it'd be a good idea for them to be made aware that way they can help."
These vague words make Remus raise his eyebrows. He reaches for his firewhiskey and asks, "What are you talking about? Did something happen, Vivian?"
Vivian sits down and mutters, "Yeah…Regulus happened. He practically dragged me into an alley when I was in London with Evans and McKinnon."
As she explains the situation to James and Remus, going over her apparently botched spell and Regulus's subsequent warning, their expressions become graver.
"…And you trust Regulus?" James asks once she finishes. He sounds somewhat surprised.
Vivian shrugs, "He's always looked after me."
She doesn't miss the glance James sends Sirius, but chooses not to remark upon it. Sirius knows full well the nature of her relationship with Regulus. In any case, she can't blame them for being wary. Regulus's connections to the Death Eaters isn't exactly a secret to them.
Remus, ever the voice of reason, hums, "Well, it'd probably be best to keep to yourself until Dumbledore comes up with a plan. We can probably use this to our advantage…somehow."
Vivian frowns and mutters, "I've been keeping to myself ever since I joined the Order." The Marauders all send her looks that verge of pity, which she doesn't appreciate overmuch. She changes the subject and asks, "What did Dumbledore want to talk to you about, Lupin?"
The question has Remus turning his eyes to his firewhiskey. He slowly responds, "…He wants me to travel to the werewolf clans and try to recruit them into the Order."
This information makes them all stare. A silence falls upon the room. Coupled with Regulus's reappearance, Remus's latest mission seems to add a certain gravity to their conversation that hadn't been there before. It feels, suddenly, as if a certain weight now hangs upon them, as if the world has become several shades more precarious in only a matter of seconds.
"…Werewolves?" Sirius murmurs with a frown. "That's a pretty dangerous request."
'Dangerous' doesn't really do it justice, though. Werewolves are notoriously savage to anyone who isn't already a part of their pack. They aren't known for their trust, even to other werewolves.
Remus nods and gives a shaky laugh. "Yeah. Dumbledore seems to think that Voldemort is trying to recruit them, and he wants to bring as many to our side as possible. I'm leaving in a few days. Not sure when I'll be back."
When, or if. The silent addition to the words isn't lost on any of them.
With a frown, James mutters, "…You know, I'm really starting to wish we were back at Hogwarts. Things were easier back then."
Sirius hums and runs a hand through his hair. "Well, let's get together before you leave, Rem. And this time, we need to make sure Peter comes. I swear he was acting off at the meeting."
James nods in agreement and muses, "I still can't believe he's seeing a bird tonight. Our little Pete's growing up so fast."
The turn in conversation is a bit too forced, though, and silence once again covers them as their thoughts return to Remus and his mission, and to Vivian and Regulus. It is the first time that any of them are feeling the weight of their new lives and the potential repercussions should anything go wrong, but it won't be the last time. They all seem to realize this, too, as they sit in silence and drink their firewhiskey. It seems all too apparent that they have reached the threshold, of sorts, and that there is truly no going back from this point on. If they thought that joining the Order would be all fun and games and that their youth would propel them forward and lend a certain invincibility to their actions, this preconception falls away now.
"Be careful, Moony," James murmurs after a few quiet minutes. Then, to Vivian's surprise, James turns to her and adds, "And make sure you look after yourself too, Pride."
And, though many future moments will continue to color Vivian's perspective of James Potter, she will never forget the sincerity that touches his eyes as he says those words.
"…You too, Potter," she returns, and finds herself smiling when he grins at her, tipping his glass in her direction before downing the last of his firewhiskey.
"Well, I really should be going," James says a moment later, his voice a bit more buoyant this time. "Parties don't crash themselves, you know."
Remus chuckles and nods, "Yeah, I guess I should head home too. Let's go to the pub soon. It'll be good to see you all before I leave."
After saying their goodbyes, Sirius waves them off before returning to the living room and sitting down beside Vivian again. He glances over at her and leans back, arms behind his head. Though he looks just as casual as ever, though, there is a certain heaviness to his eyes. It leaks into his voice when he says, "…Everything seems to be changing all of the sudden."
Vivian pours them another glass of firewhiskey before she murmurs, "I know. Remus will be fine though. He knows what he's doing."
Sirius nods, though he doesn't look as if he necessarily agrees. His brow is creased with worry, which only seems to grow as he studies her. "I'm more worried about you than Remus, to be honest. Dumbledore's right. It was too easy for Regulus to find you."
She leans back and takes a sip of firewhiskey. Then, sighing, she says, "We've just got to trust each other, I guess. Like you said, we're a team, right?"
The reminder makes Sirius's eyes soften. His mouth swings up into a quiet smile. His voice is equally as soft when he swings his arm around her shoulders and responds, "Always."
Vivian shoots him a small smile. They both fall silent, thinking about their day and everything that's happened throughout it, before Vivian sits up and puts her glass down. Sirius watches her stand up with a frown. His words are really more of a complaint when he demands, "What are you doing?"
She rolls her eyes at him and responds, "I wanted to finish writing to Gavin."
The explanation makes Sirius huff. "You pay more attention to Tosspot Clarke than you do me." Yes, his words are definitely a complaint.
Vivian smirks at him and drawls, "I thought you said you weren't jealous."
Sirius sends her a look, then, after a brief moment, he stands up and grabs her hand, dragging her out of the room before she can even make a move to retrieve her half-finished letter.
"Sirius – "
"You can finish writing him tomorrow," is all Sirius says, and though Vivian initially begins to complain, the way he draws her against him to kiss her rather makes her forget why she'd ever want to stop him at all.