All rights belong to Rick Riordan.

Chapter 84

You Gotta Love Therapy

(Artemis)

The first thing I noticed after the shadows around us faded was that we were not on my chariot as I expected, in fact we were still in the same room.

I was about to complain that seriously we needed to hurry and stop the chariot before it began to go on an unsupervised decent when I caught sight of the problem and obviously what Percy had noticed as he had immediately let go of my hand before lashing out with his right foot and striking the hiding figure in the throat and slamming them against a wall cracking the stone under the force of the blow. Not that the silver armored figure seemed that bothered by the blow judging by his apparent lack of interest in responding physically. His helmet covering his face and hiding his emotions.

Curiously unlike most gods or Titans which still chose to use classical Greek style armor when fighting generally through force of habit or preference. Pallas had chosen a more contemporary set of European Knight Armor composed of a combination of Plate and chain link mail. Well that and the whole set was made of Orthrytic Silver. In other words it was probably finding its way onto Perseus's Christmas list at this very point in time.

'So you must be the great Perseus or should I say Percy?' Pallas asked in muffled amusement causing Percy to bury a combat boot further into his throat.

'And you must be Styx's little whipping boy, how is the crazy bitch?' Percy chastised mockingly.

'Difficult as always, but can I ask why you decided to attack me?' Pallas asked innocently as if finally bothering to notice the blow.

'Oh I think you know full well why I don't trust you. Though I expected you to turn up a few months ago, it was quite a surprise to hear you suddenly decided to leave. So what is the real reason you left Tartarus and don't try and lie to me?'

'I have no idea what you are referring to. I simply decided I wanted to see what the gods have done with the world.' Pallas said innocently looking towards me.

'So your wife wanting to kill me and telling you to do it, you saying you couldn't do it. Then her telling you to try regardless means nothing to you then. Dreams are a funny thing not that you have probably ever experienced one, but I have found they are quite insightful. Tell me how else could I recognize someone I have never met?'

'So you're saying all your evidence is based on a dream? I am pretty sure that doesn't count as proof of intention.'

'Then why are you hiding in the shadows of a council meeting you had no right in being in?' I asked causing him to look back towards me.

'If it is not your beautiful abusive spouse, you remind me of my wife.' He mocked causing me to frown as I resisted the urge to stab the fool straight in the groin. There is always a weakness in a suit of armor and that spot was looking awfully vulnerable.

'Your wife is insane, Artemis is just pregnant. Now answer the damned question.' Percy growled and I didn't know whether I wanted to slap him or not.

'As my father's heir it is my right to hear out proceedings. You may have got his domains but you cannot claim my Birthright. You merely claimed Kronos's throne and combined it with my Father's and Hyperion's power. You're not even a real Titan.' He finished beginning to laugh as Percy paused and relaxed his foot a little before slamming him back against the wall his helmet cracking a large slab of marble yet the Titan carried on laughing.

'Was that supposed to hurt? You too have felt what my wife is capable of; there is nothing you can do that can compare to that.' He mocked and I began to think he was well and truly insane. I only knew Styx by reputation but I was beginning to think the river of Hate really was a complete nut job.

'Oh don't worry I won't even bother with hurting you I will just kill you. You might think that tin can will protect but like your father you forget I have the universal can opener. They will have to pour your remains back into her river to reunite you. Hear me now and listen well.' Percy told him removing his foot with a final shove before summoning Maelstrom and holding it point first at the Titan's chest plate.

'If you come near me, my wife or my family, I will kill you then I will kill Styx and Nothing on Earth will protect you from my wrath. Now I suggest you complete your little sightseeing trip and run along home.' Percy threatened before drawing the sword across his armor and leaving a notable fine scratch on the metal.

'We're done here, let's go.' He said turning to me and returning the sword to its usual form and grabbing my hand with his now empty own before leading me towards the exit. As if the entire situation was dealt with and there was nothing wrong.

For close to the hundredth time I wanted to question his sanity, how he could think that a threat would stop someone trying to assassinate him was beyond my own level of rationale.

As we continued to walk I took one final glance back at the armored figure just to witness him fading out of sight. Literally one moment he was there the next I could start to see through him before he was completely gone as if he had turned invisible, which while not impossible by any means was still not exactly common.

'Percy…' I began to whisper to point out the possibility when he shook his head cutting me off as if to say not now before we were both enshrouded in the dark yet again.

I wish I could say I could carry on the conversation straight away but the truth was I rather had my hands full with stopping a Lunar/Earth collision.

The moment we had returned to the chariot I had realized that the extra delay brought on by Pallas had allowed the chariot to get even further off its usual route. I was grateful Percy had cut that whole situation short as I grabbed at the reigns and pulled up frantically.

Percy meanwhile just stood to the side and allowed me to do what I needed to. Though I could tell from his vacant expression that he was likely discussing the situation with Perseus. So it was either a serious chat or Perseus was complaining about the lack of action. Likely the second option going by past example and his overall hot blooded personality.

Eventually though I was able to force the chariot to pull out of its fall and begin to ascend to 'cruising height'. By the time I was done I was beginning to seriously consider letting Hephaestus install a cruise control feature on it so it did not require constant oversight. Around Percy these situations seemed to come up a lot. That and neither Diana nor I was keen on leaving the other with him while we stayed here.

'Percy Pallas can…' I began setting the reigns down and turning towards him.

'Turn invisible, I know.' He answered cutting me off and leaving me confused.

'Explain how you found that out without turning around?' I asked frowning.

'I felt his presence fade but he was still present in the room. Earlier when I arrived in there I felt something was amiss in the number of occupants but couldn't see anyone extra so I brushed it off. It was the only way it could make sense was that he was initially invisible throughout the council meeting but let it drop when everyone was leaving and it was that which caught my attention in the first place.'

'Wow talking about stealing my thunder. That was actually a well thought out answer. You don't seem very concerned about this threat though especially as he can sneak up undetected if he wanted to.'

'He can make himself invisible but that does not make him undetectable. I can feel if he is close by same as anyone else and as for the hunt Nemea can probably smell him and personally I would bet money that she can take him. Besides I have already been accused of stealing your father's thunder, you don't have any. So I suppose I will have to settle for this.' He explained seriously before he began to lose the tenseness he had and beginning to grin stupidly before stepping forward and pinning my arms to my side and kissing me.

'Talk about a short attention span.' Dianna muttered out of jealousy, I was too busy to respond to her as I pushed him back against the chariot rail where we both slowly began to sink down to the floor still not breaking contact with his lips.

Eventually though Percy was forced to pull back allowing me to savor my victory before he began to chuckle to himself.

'Spill it.' I demanded, this better not be about me I thought taking note of the fact my left knee was located between his legs just in case.

'It isn't about you so please don't hurt me.' He pleaded looking down at my poised limb.

'I would never.' I said innocently and sweetly.

'Liar. No I just realized that it is Christmas Eve, I am in the chariot which mortals associate with a certain sleigh. So does that make me Santa?' He said as if this was the greatest thing ever to him as his eyes lit up.

'You are such a dork.' I muttered under my breath. Despite all his maturity in some situations I was still occasionally reminded that he was still only just older than a minor.

'Don't ruin this for me.' He snapped back before returning to his day dreaming. Knowing him he was probably imagining himself in a red outfit with a beard. One of which was never going to happen if I had a say about it. When he had still been part-mortal the damned thing was like sandpaper when we kissed. I was so thankful back then when it had stopped growing after he became a full immortal.

'In that case Nick, what have you got me for Christmas? And don't even say the gift of your presence that is my line.' I asked curiously while narrowing my eyes at seeing him pause and his little brain went into overdrive at trying to find a way out of this situation.

'Err- if you let me up, I will just get it out of my pocket.' He said hesitantly as I slowly backed away from him as he pretended to search his jacket pockets while I stood back and crossed my arms in false annoyance. However as soon as I did he smiled triumphantly and disappeared in a flash of light.

The thing was I still felt like this was my victory, where he thought he was getting me a 'gift' at half ten PST on Christmas Eve was beyond me. Most mortal shops would be closed and even on Olympus he would be booted off the doorstep faster than he could freeze time.

'So are we getting a ring each or what?' Diana asked.

'We will be lucky if he manages to get one, besides it is the gesture that counts.'

'I bet it ends up being one of those Haribo rings from some service station.'

'Don't talk about food I am starving.' I pleaded taking note in the fact I hadn't eaten since this morning. I should have rummaged in his pockets before he had gone for the pack of ambrosia I know is always there. I was tempted to call him back and tell him I would let him off with a takeaway.

(Percy)

'So what exactly are we looking for?'

'An engagement ring.' I answered as I trudged down the empty Manhattan sidewalk surrounded by closed shops.

'Oh you were actually serious about that whole marriage thing; I thought it was just a phase.'

'You're an idiot of course I meant it.' I told him as I continued to walk. Now the thing was I had absolutely no idea where I was going to get one especially not now at this time of night. On the west coast I had absolutely no idea where to even start looking which was why I had ended up in New York where I had a good idea where everything was located. The problem was it was even later here.

'Haha that's rich you calling me an idiot. So why are you just walking around doing nothing then, from what I can see you aren't getting any closer to your objective unless they sell them in Seven Eleven… never mind it's closed.'

'Very funny besides what rings would they sell apart from the candy ones and if I got one of those she would probably kill me.'

'You could always try robbing a jewelry shop, not as if you couldn't get away with it. We could even try a museum if you want a historical one. Just flash in smash case, flash out problem solved.' He suggested and I admit I gave it some thought before I removed it from the consideration. Then again I was not exactly carrying much in the way of mortal money; in fact I did not have much in the first place. I never exactly had a chance to get a real job, well short of being a pseudo bodyguard for a bunch of hyper active man hating girls, though I more kept to that because of the fringe benefits rather than the pay.

'I am not stealing it, nor am I grave robbing or any other stupid scheme you can think of.' I told him firmly only for him to tut in disapproval.

'Not like they still need it anymore. How come we could not get Hazel's powers when Hades adopted you, instead all we got was the ability to shadow travel which is redundant now and summon dead people you cannot control. Maybe we can go to a graveyard summon some dead folk and kill them again. It is not grave robbing if they are spoils.'

'You seriously have some strange thoughts. Gods help us if you actually came out with a sensible suggestion to our problems.' I said groaning aloud as I leant against a shops shutters causing it to clatter behind me.

'Well you already said no to calling the marriage off so all my good suggestions are gone. You could always just go back and say no can do. I am sure she will understand.'

'Are you admitting defeat, never thought I would see the day? Besides I am pretty sure she is watching us at this very moment.' I said looking up at the silvery orb in the sky and imaging the goddess having a good laugh at me walking around the empty city aimlessly.

'I'm not saying we give up I just know when to fold. There is no way in hades we are going to get a ring at this time of night, legitimately. Besides I don't think Artemis is going to go for some cheap mortal trinket. At least if you go back now she will see that you tried.'

'The worst bit is you are actually right. I knew I couldn't do it but I had to try regardless just to prove I was willing to do anything for her.' I conceded smacking my head against the shutter as I looked back into the sky only to spot a small flake of snow begin to fall towards me. Great looks like Zeus was trolling me in an attempt at petty revenge.

'You do know it is probably just a coincidence and not her old man right? Well unless you want to use this as an excuse to go beat him up again, in which case I am all for it!'

'Forget it, besides this might as well be the final nail in the coffin. Let's go back before I die of hypothermia.' I muttered remembering how cold that damned glacier was and shivering at the thought, though the small army of enemies at the time had been great at keeping me warm. Now I was lucky if I even got to see a monster. Well before a certain feline ripped it limb from limb.

'It must be our birthday and Christmas rolled into one, look left near the news vendor. That guy has been looking at us this whole time, and doesn't he remind you of someone we love to kill.' Perseus said giddily as I turned towards my full attention to where he indicated and the large figure that was present in the shadows.

'I don't know whether to feel sorry for this guy or be impressed at his tenaciousness to get out Tartarus.' I said smiling as I stood up and began to walk towards the skulking figure who tried to hide behind the vendor.

'My turn, my turn. You got the last three times.' Perseus pleaded.

'It's Christmas have fun just don't kill him, kill him. He makes amazing stress relief and I would rather not break him for the future.' I said laughing as I turned over control.

(Perseus)

Best Christmas ever. I thought as I picked up the pace and began to outright sprint up the sidewalk towards the now panicking figure who had begun to flee as fast as his hooves would let him.

As fast as the guy was he sure as hades wasn't escaping me at a hundredth of normal time. Such that as soon as I caught up with the Minotaur, I began to run on the spot next to him mockingly.

'You're doing great champ, give it a century you might make it to the end of the block!' I laughed condescending as I watched a single eye slowly rotate towards me fearfully; before the whole head could turn I decided to cut the spell and simply swung my right fist into his snout throwing him back into a parked car, where his head went through the passenger window his torso and legs still hanging out over the sidewalk.

'What's up meat head, you like the leather interior or something, maybe it was your ex-girlfriend or how does that even work for you? Nah who am I kidding even a cow would be embarrassed to see those undies.' I laughed resisting the urge to wedgie the guy there and then besides who knows when he last washed them?

It seemed my jab had the result I wanted as it ripped its head clear the door still attached like a necklace as he eyed me in a mix of rage and fear.

'Tell you what that look doesn't suit you, you look more like a Chevy kind of guy.' I said grabbing the edge of the door and punching his face straight back out of the frame, snapping his left horn off on the way out causing him to roar in agony as he sprawled on the pavement.

'You are enjoying this.' My annoying other self commented. Yeah as if he was one to talk, I may not have been conscious as an entity the last time but I had yet to repeatedly kick him in the face to please a bunch of girls.

'You have no idea; after you would not let me beat that tin can earlier I am feeling the need to take it out on this idiot.' The fact he had chosen not to fight Pallas had annoyed me massively, my only solace had been the thought that I knew Styx was to bitter to let her petty grudge slide. At some point Pallas would reappear and then I was adding that armor to my collection.

'Come on ground beef, you know how this works. I am not going to kill you while you are on the ground, so stand your pathetic ass up already. To think you were even remembered in myth, what did folks fear laughing at you to death?' I told him causing him to moo indignantly as he struggled to rise his snout considerably more podgy than it had been before I caught sight of a glint in the streetlight.

'Oh you have got to be kidding me.'

'Beggars can't be choosers.'

'Pal we can do this one of two ways, you give me the nostril ring and I beat you up or, I rip it out of your face and beat you up. Judging by your lack of haste I am taking that as option two.' I said leaping forward as soon as I finished speaking and pinning him below me on the sidewalk as I assailed his face. Summoning my wings to provide a little added weight to keeping him down.

'Moooooooo.' The Minotaur screamed in pain as I slammed a fist into his eye.

'Stop being a baby, didn't your mother teach you facial piercings are bad?' I laughed hooking two fingers through the bronze hoop and alternating between yanking it and punching him. After the twenty-seventh blow it finally came free of the Minotaur's battered face.

'Bit large but that is her problem, not as if I know her finger size anyway, maybe she can wear it around her wrist or something.'

'You gonna finish him off or what, we don't really need to we have all his spoils already.' Percy asked as I considered the prospect of letting the monster go… then immediately tossed said prospect into a black hole never to be seen again.

'You know what I don't think we do; I think I can get a nice Minotaur hide out of this fool. It will look good on my motorcycle… we are getting a motorcycle by the way.' I said aloud so the restrained figure could hear and began to buck in panic.

'Nah ah ah I hate those rides.' I told him punching him in the face using his own nose ring as a knuckle duster.

'So you think I have to skin him or will it just appear naturally after he dies.'

'Who cares its cold; we have something we can use, just get it over with.' My counterpart complained, he was probably already missing his precious Arty. I however was in no such rush to get back to the domineering goddess. Not that I did not enjoy making out with her, she was still smoking hot despite her attitude towards me. Shame she wore that stupid jacket ninety-nine percent of the time to hide her assets. Then again there was always Diana who was exactly the same in every way but with less added bitch, well except she was madly in love with my counterpart and likewise wasn't my greatest fan.

'Good news pal I am not going to flay you alive, bad news is time to take you lumps.' I said grinning evilly as I began to pummel his face into the sidewalk using my makeshift knuckle duster. Bone and teeth proving no match for my bronze encased fist. Before long I lost all resistance as the monster broke down into dust and my fist smacked into the concrete leaving me with a heavily dented nose ring and another stupid horn. What was this middle ages who the hell needed horns nowadays?

'Unlucky its pelt must be a rare drop.' Percy chimed.

'This is why you needed to stop playing Skyrim and get a job.'

'Oblivion actually there was no Minotaurs in Skyrim. Actually come to think of it you are like my own personal Sheogorath, annoying, random and over powered. Now come on and give me back control.'

'You are such a fucking nerd.' I groaned as I relinquished control. I was not sinking to his level and comparing him to Jggalag the boring bastard one that no one invited to parties. Besides I was more of a Mehrunes Dagon kind of guy. Not that I know anything about computers games or anything like that. Still that Dragon shout business would be fun in the real world. Get that little shit Praetor on a roof and .one Fus Ro. Fuck off. It would be magical.

Just to reiterate he is the nerdy one, don't judge me.

(Diana)

'You think he will actually manage to get one?' I asked sitting across from my counterpart.

'Depends on whether he is willing to listen to the annoyance or not. If he does he is probably committing a heist at this very moment or robbing some old lady, or a dead body or any other nefarious option. No, chances are he will turn up here tail between his legs saying sorry and we pretend to be mad before kissing to make up and frisking him for food.' Artemis explained and I had to agree for the most part except the last bit. I was fine.

'So what we doing tomorrow, going back to New Rome?' I said hopingly as it meant she could not argue about me being in control of our body.

'Briefly but I want to let the hunter's have their own space for a while, we cannot exactly just continue and pretend nothing has happened. Also I will probably end up solving their idiotic Praetor problem if I spend too much time there. Besides I have a feeling Percy will end up dragging us around because of that stupid mortal holiday.'

'I don't know, I think you wanted to be Mrs. Clause.' I chuckled causing her to turn red.

'No no you are supposed to wear red, not turn your skin it.' I said ridiculing her causing her to frown.

'You're as idiotic as he is, though I am not denying I would kill for the cookies they leave out as tradition.'

'If you are so hungry why don't you go get something and come back?'

'And risk missing his face of disappointment?' She snorted in defiance crossing her arms.

'So you think Monster Donut is open in the morning or what?' She asked optimistically in a complete contrast to her previous statement.

'You're hopeless.'

'No I'm hungry, that idiot better hurry up and give in.'

'As if he would be back alre—.' I began only to be cut off by the arrival of said idiot who was grinning from ear to ear and covered in gold dust.

'You were saying? And what in hades are you smiling about? Also who or what was that you are covered in?' She said turning from me to him and giving him a barrage of questions.

'Glad to see you missed me. As for this well I let Perseus see my therapist, turns out it is going to be a very slow process but we are making progress, give it a few centuries and he may not be an overbearing asshole.' He joked only for his eyes color to flutter as the aspect went to say something before wisely keeping it to himself. Maybe therapy was good for him, he could at least clean himself up next time though.

'So this therapist do I know him?' Artemis asked smiling.

'Yeah but he doesn't see patients often normally he has to make a special mistake booking with me.' He said grinning before reaching into his jacket and pulling out a familiar looking white and black horn.

'How many is that now?' I asked.

'Let's see one from when I was a kid; I didn't get the two I cut off in the battle of Manhattan, Two more when he attacked the hunt plus this so four at the moment.' He explained counting them off on his fingers.

'So what you fought the Minotaur and decided that was good enough to come back, what were you expecting a pat on the back. you stopped getting praise for that the first time you killed him not the fourth. You were supposed to be getting something remember?' Artemis snapped arrogantly only for him to carry on grinning as he proceeded to search his inner pockets again before producing a bronze lump.

'What the hell is that supposed to be?' We both said simultaneously as we stared at the dented mass of metal. It was obvious hollow as he had a finger through the center but beyond that it didn't resemble a ring. The fact it was seemingly squashed on two sides made it look as if he had simply cut of a piece of bronze chain.

'No pleasing some people.' He muttered before his eyes flashed gold in the good way as the object glowed and changed back into a gleaming bronze circle which whilst an improvement still had one major problem.

'Two things I don't even want to know where that came from and second, you do know an engagement ring is supposed to go on the finger? That would probably fit around my bicep.' Artemis said in annoyance turning her head away as if in disgust.

'Wait… Minotaur and you suddenly turning up with a bronze ring. Ewwwww there is no way I want that anywhere near me.' I said putting two and two together.

'There is no pleasing either of you.' He muttered putting it back in his pocket.

'I never said I didn't appreciate the gesture, as inappropriate as I was you did actually get a ring which is more than either of us expected. We just want a nicer one that hasn't been in a monster's nose. I can just imagine the whore's gloating expression if she saw it.' Artemis explained turning back.

'But that's the great thing about this ring; you can just hit people with. They won't be laughing at you then!' Perseus commented defensively taking control.

'That may be the nicest thing you have ever said to me, I may actually cry.' Artemis said smiling and pretending to wipe away a tear.

'Don't push me goddess. Merry Christmas and all that other good stuff that's all you're getting from me.'

'I was just about to consider giving you a kiss out of gratitude but the moment is gone now.'

'Hey we can negotiate.' Perseus pleaded backtracking unsuccessfully.

'Forever gone, now hurry up and change back you know the rules. What you do while I am not around I don't particularly care but my chariot my rules.' Artemis said causing the Titan aspect to tut in annoyance and change back.

'So do I get let off for a few days to get a proper one?' He asked grinning looking from Artemis to me and back again.

'I suppose.' I said trying not to laugh as Artemis pretended to try and be serious about the proposition.

'On one condition, you turn out your pockets of any and all food.' She demanded causing me and Percy to sweat drop at her request.

Nevertheless his hands once again went inside his pockets before fishing out a small bag of ambrosia and tossing it to my counterpart who wasted no time in finishing it in two ravenous bites.

'Oh how lady like.' I commented in disgust at the display. Nemea was more polite in the way she eats and most of what she does is still screaming.

'Bite me.' She spat back throwing the wrapper off the back of the chariot. Add hypocrite to her/our list of faults. Nature goddess caught littering. Then again I suppose I was well into hypocrite territory by now with the whole maidens things. Whoops.

'So tomorrow…' Percy began causing us both to look at him.

'What?' We asked in unison.

'Well I was thinking we visit my mum and inform her about the whole twin's thing and you know make a day out of it. We could even bring them to Orthrys and introduce them to Leto.'

'First they aren't technically twins, second, are you actually allowed to bring mortals to the palace and third, why not invite our fathers?'

'In that case they sorta are, who there can stop me besides unless they leave my chambers they have no grounds to complain and third haha No. It is always a little awkward having my dad and Paul in the same room with my mum and as for your dad I think he still wants to fry me.'

'And that is why if you ever cheat on us we will neuter you, so you can never have that sort of awkward situation. Did I forget to mention it will involve bricks?' Artemis threatened playfully as he visibly paled and crossed his legs subconsciously.

'As for the rest it is possible, we will need to visit the girls to make sure they are fine and I might ask Zoe to do me a favor.' I commented leaving Artemis briefly confused before understanding hit her and she nodded in agreement.

'Do what exactly?' He asked in confusion.

'Look after the chariot for the night duh, as much as I like it being alone up here. It does well limit our options for a romantic evening to a five foot by seven foot area of space.' I explained causing him to suddenly regain color at the prospect.

'That got his attention it seems.' Artemis said in amusement as he finally decided to sit down between us and pull us both in. Not that either of us protested the move, he was a surprisingly comfortable cushion after all.

Curiously after a few minutes of silence he pulled his arms back in front of him and began to seemingly count down on his fingers leaving both of us confused as he finally reached zero.

'Merry Christmas.' He said happily kissing us both on the cheek.

'It's still not real.' Artemis protested weakly.

'Fine happy holidays, bah humbug.' He countered causing her to huff at his counter argument.

'Well seeing as you didn't want my gift what did you both get me?' He asked optimistically.

'Technically didn't Perseus get that for us, so that means you actually got us nothing.' I whispered causing him to turn red as he struggled to find a valid argument.

'Don't worry about it Seaweed Brain, though how about this for the thought.' I told him turning his chin towards me and planting a kiss on his lips whilst Artemis groaned in displeasure. Wasn't as if she did not have enough chances yesterday, when she having topless, underwater make out sessions. She could sure as hell wait her turn now.

Besides I might actually like this Christmas business with Percy around. Though next year would be interesting regardless, due to a certain, unplanned duo's arrival in the next few months.

However I was drawing the line if he tried to wrap my chariot in tinsel or making me cosplay Mrs. Clause. Well in most situations perhaps.

AN. Well this took far more length than i thought it would so i have decided to break it into parts.

I love the Minotaur he may be my favorite villain from the whole series, just to show how much of a major non threat he has become to Percy/Perseus. we are now at the point where he can get beaten to death without breaking a sweat. The guy seriously needs to move outside New York State.

Perseus secretly is very much a nerd but i will elaborate more on that in the future.

Next time Perseus provides Christmas dinner (Neither he nor Percy can cook to save there lives)

As always i hope you enjoyed the chapter and leave a review.

BOO SPOILER PART 2

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Well it seems pretty unanimous that BOO was dogshit. judging by the fact no one attempted to defend it in the slightest with the best comment for it being a meh.

After going back through and cleaning some of the McLean of the pages i realized i actually forgot a few things last time.

Number one the complete lack of rewards to anyone. seriously they beat Kronos and everyone from Grover upwards gets something. in this they stop a bigger threat and get told to piss off home and sort that shit out. the end. well unless you count Jupiters you're adequate speech with Jason.

Legion finding out that Frank is a Praetor, yeah none of that.

Isn't Percy still technically also a Praetor? And senior camper for Camp Half-Blood. oh who am i kidding that would mean he has to do something other than getting smacked in the face.

I don't know about the US edition but on the UK one why does Percy have a shield? He hasn't used one since BOTL. It was part of the reason i gave him one to replace Tyson's one.

Next the whole taking a dump on Apollo for no adequately explained reason. Sure thing his legacy was a dick no one is arguing that and you know it was his oracle that gave the prophecy. well seeing as no one else has one that is kinda unfair on him. then there is Python at Delphi which no one will bother with for plot convenience even though we keep mentioning this to be a major issue. (by the way Rachel is now fucking useless). not like Apollo and Artemis can't just walk in and shoot the snake in the face. TA DA problem solved. nope sequel bait.

Magnus Chase and the Norse gods. Seriously Rick now you are just copying fanfics blatantly. and that name means one of two things. One if it is Percy and Annabeth's kid why is it not Jackson which means they are not together in the future (insert fan rage here). Or two he must be completely unrelated to the duo in which case no one is going to give a shit about him and pick a new surname jackass. Also the last time he picked an alternate Mythology i got bored to death by the end of the first book. question if Gaia is the earth and Ouranos the sky then how does Geb and Nut fit into that equation. Also i am calling it now the overall plot of this new series is to stop Ragnarok and Loki is the bad guy because Rick watches to much Marvel and want's a cool villain after the last disappointment. having all these mythologies in one universe doesn't work properly unless you get rid of some of the Primordial gods because then they make no sense. i'm the earth, no i am the earth, no i am. we get it you are all Spartacus.

Oh and Percy it would be good if you talked to your mother once in a while, not like she would be worried or anything. with the whole not seeing you in nearly a year by the end. maybe you should tell her you are planning to move to California. 'I called her a month ago before everything went to shit at New Rome. that will do.'

Did i mention how much i loathe Piper McLean. Her dad gets more book time than fucking Percy with a fucking movie advert.

Also sons of Jupiter can survive underwater thanks to wind spirits being breathable who knew also Fuck water pressure that shit is over-rated. Polybotes is 40ft+ tall and is completely underwater therefore Jason is equal to or further than that under the surface and is not being crushed. Also gas is pushed up due to a difference in density so how Dylan even able to stay underwater without being crushed to pieces and resembling tonic water. Side note Jasons gladius can turn into a spear for plot convenience despite the fact it is not IVLIVS. Besides stab wounds are for pussies because Piper can talk you better.

Polybotes shittest Counter Giant ever. Born to kill Poseidon gets killed by his demigod son and his minor goddess daughter without breaking a sweat. i suppose that set the stage for the entire battle later in the book. seriously the guy acts afraid of the poor girl despite the fact he dwarfs her in size and supposedly in power.

Porphyrion i can control lightning but Gaia help me if i get hit with it.

Finally they sure were lucky Leo managed to Macguyver a replacement body for Faestus out of the Argo's hull off page without anyone noticing or Gaia could have been a threat. Your the fucking earth stop making your body out of dirt and use something a little stronger like i don't know rock or Magma.

Also that ending was totally from Disney's Hercules. throw problem giant (Titans) in the air and it explodes leaving everyone happy as if nothing happened.

Also we couldn't find Leo or Faestus's body. wait... They might not be dead wanna give him a quick call just in case... Nah what are the chances of that happening, not like he had a cure for death on him.

Bright side is when they eventually make this train wreck into a film Hollywood will probably give it a decent ending and a worthwhile battle over about 27 movies by that point. you know what i would happily let Michael Bay direct that. at least he will show the damned action and focuses on minor characters who do nothing which in this case would be Percy and Annabeth. Method to the madness. which would make Piper Megan Fox out of principle. She should be like 40 by then so hopefully they will find someone else to play no personality hot chick by then.

I think that just about covers up my hatred for this book now, i don't intend to re-read it again. if i wasn't so bitter it would probably already be in a charity shop with a link to this scribbled in the front cover.