Heeeeyyyyyy. So. I'm back?
I'm so sorry for the long break I ended up taking. I really didn't plan to drop off the face of the earth like that. I'll spare you all from my laundry list of excuses and just say that I've been super busy with work-related things and still working on getting back into my writing, which has been a long and annoyingly difficult process.
From now on, I am planning on updating this story at least once a month to start getting the ball rolling again. I'm sure I'll increase my updating schedule once I start working with this plot again but for now, once a month will give me plenty of leeway. Anyway…if anyone is even still reading this story after all this time, I hope you enjoy this chapter? CP out
Chapter Thirteen | Ex Adverso
[From the opposite side]
Jane Austen once said: "Silly things do cease to be silly if they are done by sensible people in an impudent way." Vivian wouldn't necessarily say that her current mission is silly, of course, but it is does have some inkling of foolhardiness within it, and there is certainly a layer of impudence to it at that. Such brazen recklessness is not the sort of quality that Vivian Blair often exemplifies. She prefers to save those things for her Gryffindor counterparts, who seem to take up a large portion of her life these days and never fail to amaze her with their brashness. Of course, she wouldn't necessarily call said brashness silly either. She prefers the word 'idiotic', but she digresses. Thinking of it in such terms only serves to remind her that she is currently being a touch idiotic herself, and she is certainly no reckless Gryffindor.
In any case, before Vivian Blair can go off on yet another tangent involving the superior qualities of a good and proper Slytherin, a scene is in wont of being set:
Before her, the Thames River cuts a dark and quiet path through the heart of London. The hour is far too late to accommodate any lingering trace of the sun. Instead, the moon sits at an angled arch in the sky, and the light that beams down from it is soft and gets easily lost in the scattering of the strange electric lights that the muggles insist upon using. As a result of both moon and electric lights, the river beneath her looks like a snake with shimmering scales that is constantly moving but never ending, and Vivian finds it oddly mesmerizing as she stands at the railing of the Westminster Bridge and looks down upon it.
She has never been this far into Muggle London by herself. In recent months attending Order meetings in odd pubs and other non-magical places, she's seen more of it than she ever had before, but those moments were accompanied by Sirius and the others. This is certainly no traipse into the old bookstore she used to frequent back in school, nor does it require very much maneuvering to get to.
A bracing wind lifts up from the river and tunnels into her as she stands alone upon the bridge. She huddles deeper into her cloak, curling her fingers around the folds of fabric and dipping her eyes curiously over the nighttime city as it follows the Thames. She's never seen London at night before, not like this. She can't decide if she likes it or not. After all, the current circumstances of her viewing it comes at something of a price, and though she is willing to pay it, she's not sure whether her companion will be. The edge of doubt that lingers over her rather ruins the otherwise fascinating view. Her mind twists and turns just like the Thames. One moment, she is thinking about that little scrap of paper she had given her father; the next, she drifts again and wonders just how those electric lights work, and why not simply use candles – and what is the spark, exactly, that powers them?
Is it fire, or lightening, or some other element acting as catalyst? And how did these muggles contrive of the idea? Perhaps she will ask Lily, but only if she's able to find a rare moment in which Potter is away. He'd probably take the micky out of her if he heard her ask such a childlike question. Lily wouldn't mind answering, though. She always seems to understand that this world Vivian finds herself in is entirely new to her.
Another breeze presses into her, and it takes her thoughts and displaces them. The calm emptiness is slowly filled with other musings. Why do these muggles drive those dangerous-looking contraptions that race along the pavement behind her? Why do they call that tower 'Ben', and why do they still allow themselves to operate under their strange monarchial system? Why do they wear such odd fabrics and bright colors and what would Sirius think if he knew she was here –
She brushes that thought away when it creeps into the tangle of others, and lifts a hand to run it through her hair. She'll worry about that later. For now, she needs all her faculties in top condition if she wants to hold her own against a fellow Slytherin. She doesn't actually believe that Gryffindors are all idiots, of course, but she would certainly argue that they are easier to navigate than one of her own.
"You are aware that this meeting place isn't exactly private, right?" a voice – the one she's been waiting for – filters through the loaded silence. She feels herself start a bit and barely manages to rein in the reaction before it makes itself known. When she turns to eye the figure standing just behind her, her eyes collapse with a wariness not as easily hidden.
Regulus Black blends in with the darkness well. His dark countenance is made all the darker with the black cloak he is wearing, and the crescent moon softens the otherwise pale tone of his skin. It's been several weeks since she had seen him last in Diagon Alley. Something within her lurches again as their eyes lock, but she brushes that aside, too.
"Has my father spoken to you yet?" she promptly asks, ignoring his somewhat flippant greeting. She doesn't have time to waste on Slytherin pleasantries.
Regulus lifts an eyebrow and moves to stand beside her, leaning against the rail of the bridge and turning to study her face. He looks confused. The sight of said confusion answers her question in itself, especially when he asks, "Your father? Why would he want to talk to me?" Then, narrowing his eyes just so, he murmurs, "What did you do?"
Vivian lets out a short sniff and angles her face back to the river before them. She curls her fingers around the cold railing and drawls, "I'm ensuring my survival, Regulus. I've got the darkest wizard in history hunting me, after all."
Her equally flippant response is something of a veneer. Her voice is calculatingly matter-of-fact, hiding the fear that lurks just beneath the words. She reckons she'd be an absolute idiot if she wasn't afraid of being on the Dark Lord's radar, especially after everything she's done to remove herself from it, but she isn't about to vocalize this.
Regulus studies her profile for a long moment, his gray eyes flashing speculatively as he soaks in her words. He's trying to figure out what she means without actually asking, she knows. It's something that is second nature to him, born from a need to stay one step ahead. She knows because she is the same.
Finally, he asks, "…And I suppose you've decided to use me in this survival tactic of yours, hence your cryptic message to meet you here in the middle of the night?"
She glances over at him and their eyes clash together. He doesn't appear angry at the notion, but there is a firmness in his gaze that cannot be overlooked. She knows she has to tread carefully.
After a cautious pause, Vivian turns to face him, pursing her lips. She responds, "I may have told my father that I was using Sirius to get to Dumbledore. And…I may have also said that you were aware and were helping me."
His expression doesn't change. She hadn't expected it to. Slytherins are masters at hiding their reactions and Regulus is no different. Only his eyes give him away – just the smallest flash of wariness and perhaps even distrust before he shrouds it entirely.
"You don't need to do anything," Vivian says when he doesn't immediately respond. She awkwardly adds, "Just back me up if my father contacts you. I need to gain his trust or my plan won't work."
Again, his expression doesn't waver. Neither does his voice, when he slowly wonders, "Why do you think I would help you?"
At this, Vivian lifts her eyes to his in slight surprise. His voice is just as shrouded as his face, but there's a rigidity to it that she hadn't been completely anticipating. Perhaps she should have. Regulus has a soft spot for her, but that doesn't necessarily mean he's willing to go out of his way to help her. Just because he warned her about the Dark Lord doesn't mean he'd be interested in becoming some sort of accomplice to her plans. He's joined Voldemort of his own will, after all. He may not want anything to happen to her, but he still believes in Voldemort's vision.
"…I wasn't sure whether you would or wouldn't. I took a gamble," she admits, studying him closely in hopes of reading him better. She has to remind herself that Regulus is technically the enemy, no matter their past. He's chosen his side, and she's chosen hers. Still, she cares for him and she knows that the feeling goes both ways. She trusts him, too, despite everything that's happened, which may end up being incredibly stupid of her.
Her confession makes Regulus bite back a sarcastic laugh and turn to lean against the railing, looking at the cars rushing across the bridge. His expression now falls into a slight bitterness when he mutters, "A gamble, huh? You've been around those Gryffindors a bit too long, Blair."
The use of her surname slams her back in time, momentarily recalling many a sarcastic grumble and suppressed laugh exchanged between them back at Hogwarts. For a split second, a warm feeling blossoms through her…until the coldness of reality seeps back in, and Regulus turns to stare at her through eyes that are harder than they'd been a moment before.
"You do realize what you're asking of me, don't you?" he demands, crossing his arms over his chest. "Do you think that our friendship means more to me than the Dark Lord?"
Vivian purses her lips once more and bites back, "I hoped my life might."
Regulus sends her a look, as if he thinks she's being ignorant. "What about my life? You're not the only one trying to survive." She opens her mouth to respond, but Regulus cuts her off with a firm, "I'm not sure it would be in my best interest to be a part of this. When I warned you about your spell, I told you I couldn't help you any more than that."
The reminder makes her grip the railing even tighter, fingers blanching from the force. This certainly was a gamble, but she hadn't thought that Regulus would be so against it without at least hearing her entire plan.
"I'm not asking you to help me," she replies, forcing her voice to remain calm. "I'm only asking – "
"That I corroborate your story, thereby getting myself involved in whatever lies you're creating, which could very well mean suffering from the Dark Lord's wrath should he ever find out – which he most likely will, because he's the Dark Lord," Regulus finishes for her with infuriating logic.
"I have no intention of risking your life," she says, this time sounding a touch more impatient. She releases the railing to turn and face him, dark eyes blazing through the night. A hint of borrowed Gryffindor brashness flickers through her expression.
Regulus sighs and turns to face her, too, resting his elbow on the railing as he angles his body towards her. Then, sounding tired, he asks, "What exactly are you planning, Vivian?"
She eyes him with a layer of distrust now, and he raises his eyebrows at her.
"I'm not about to go and betray you," he tells her when she doesn't immediately respond. "We might not be on the same side, but you're…important to me."
The admission clearly takes some effort to say, drudged up from the parts of himself that Regulus Black prefers to keep hidden. He likely only says it because she already knows that she's important to him – and, perhaps, because reiterating it will reinforce the displaced trust between them.
It does reinforce it, but not completely. Vivian continues to eye him for a moment before grumbling, "I'm not sure it would be in my best interest to tell you, seeing as you've already written it off before even hearing it."
The sarcastic twist of her voice makes him roll his eyes at her.
"Just tell me," he demands. "And maybe, if your plan isn't absolutely mental, I might be convinced to offer a small bit of assistance." He emphasizes that last part is if he expects her to run roughshod over him and take full advantage of his momentary leniency.
She presses back another grumble and sighs, "Fine. First, I need to convince my father that I'm just using Sirius to get information about the Order. Then I'm going to get a job at the Department of Law so as to get closer to Adrian and land myself right in the middle of the Dark Lord's plans to infiltrate the court system – "
"Your plan actually does sound absolutely mental," Regulus interrupts.
She ignores him.
"I'm going to fix Vivicendium and give it to the Dark Lord as a peace offering, along with information on the Order's plans to further convince him that I'm loyal to him," she says. "Then I'm going to convince Adrian of the same and turn the tables on him, using him to get information about the Dark Lord's plans. Any questions?"
Regulus rests his chin in his palm and sighs, "About a million, yeah." He catches her eye and murmurs, "My first one is how, exactly, you intend to use Adrian and why you sound so convinced that he'll let you get close to him."
This is a good question. One that Vivian hasn't fully figured out yet. Naturally, she doesn't admit that though.
"Simple," she says with far more confidence than she actually feels. "I make his job easier for him. He's the one tasked with finding me, so I show up in his life of my own accord and tell him that I'm aware of the spell and want to fix it for the Dark Lord."
Regulus sends her a dry look and replies, "He won't trust that approach for one second."
Vivian shrugs and drawls, "I don't expect him to. That's why I'm going to get a job there, so that I'll be around him on a daily basis. My continued presence will help prove that I'm not interested in running away from the Dark Lord."
"Mmm…or it will get you killed," Regulus helpfully adds.
Vivian pretends not to hear him and says, "Adrian is the key to my plan. I don't need him to trust me, just to hear me out."
Regulus raises an eyebrow and drawls, "He hates you, Vivian. You humiliated him by ditching him for a blood traitor."
She sends him a sharp glance at that last bit and swiftly replies, "So I tell him that I'm only using Sirius, just like I told my father."
"That'll only end up backfiring on you. You'll make yourself easy prey for him," Regulus fires back, just as swiftly.
"Yes, it would – but I'll have your protection, so he wouldn't dare try anything on me," Vivian shrugs, crossing her arms and waiting for his inevitable surprise at her somewhat brash statement.
It comes, just as expected.
"…My protection?" he repeats, furrowing his brow slightly as if he's trying to disseminate her exact meaning.
He likely already knows what she's alluding to, because his surprise doesn't grow when she nods, "As far as Adrian is concerned, I'll make it clear to him that I'm in love with you, not Sirius."
The stare Regulus sends her then is enough to make her nearly break formation and shift awkwardly. It's only her absolute desire to maintain her cool that saves her from the restless reaction that flutters through her.
"In love with me," Regulus repeats again. This time, his voice comes out strained, like an instrument that's strung too tightly and is liable to snap at any moment.
Vivian studies his expression closely. She'd be lying if she said that she didn't feel a bit awful about this. There's always been an underlying tension between them, after all. She's never been entirely blind to the fact that Regulus feels something for her that transcends mere friendship. Nor, indeed, would she deny the fact that she hadn't at one point considered exploring the potential in that tension.
"It wouldn't be that hard to believe," she tells him, unsure whether she means to sound calculating or soft. As a result, the tone of her voice teeters between the two, and comes out slightly more indecisive than she intends.
Regulus lets out a quiet, humorless laugh and reaches up to rub his forehead. "Right," he mutters, turning his eyes away from her. "I suppose not."
He sounds a bit self-depreciating. She bites the inside of her cheek.
"I only meant that – "
"I know what you meant," he cuts in, apparently not wanting to hear the more calculating side of her statement.
She sighs and tries again, his name on the tip of her tongue, but Regulus seems more interested in putting an end to the awkwardness that has crept up between them, for he interrupts her yet again.
"My other question," he says, speaking over her attempt, "is whether or not my brother is aware of your insane plan, because I highly doubt he'd be okay with this – and I'm not only talking about you pretending to be my secret lover."
That shuts her up pretty quickly. His wording heightens the awkwardness that she feels swirling through her, and mention of Sirius only increases it all the more. Vivian clears her throat and taps her fingers against the railing. The movement is enough to draw his notice. She's obviously somewhat nervous about this part of her plan, otherwise she'd have another smart reply at the ready.
He raises his eyebrow again when she hesitantly says, "He's aware of it."
The skeptical look he sends her makes her huff and hastily amend, "He will be aware of it."
Regulus presses back a groan and turns to face the Thames with a pursed expression, jutting a knuckle against his temple as if he's trying to massage away an oncoming headache. He's thoroughly regretting having agreed to meet up with her. Unfortunately, he hadn't been able to help himself. The chance of seeing her again had been almost too much to bear, even though he knew it could only end one way.
"Though I…erm, I may not tell him about your role in all this," she says, sounding even more hesitant. "Like I said, I have no intention of risking your life."
The attempt at humor doesn't stick. Regulus doesn't find it amusing at all, and Vivian ends up feeling even more awkward when he doesn't even make an effort to smile.
"You're spinning a dangerous web, Vivian," is all Regulus says in response. From the tone of his voice, it's clear that he isn't entirely sure whether this is something to be impressed about or not. It definitely sounds as though he's leaning towards heavy skepticism, which she supposes she can't blame him for.
She turns to watch the dark river below them as it cuts through the land. The air between them is thick and cumbersome, but this time she doesn't try to break it. She's not really sure how to. Now that she's said her piece, she can only wait to hear whether Regulus will go along with her plan or not. If he doesn't, she'll have to go at it alone, because there's no backing out now. Even if she hadn't already gone to her father, she'd still make the attempt. It's the only way she can think of to be useful, even if her plan is a bit scattered and laden with holes. Still, sometimes you have to push forward regardless. Those who sit on the fence reap no rewards for actions unpursued.
She couldn't say how long the silence lasts, but it feels like an eternity it itself as she stands beside Regulus and looks out upon the river. She says nothing to hurry him along. He seems deep in thought, perhaps weighing the pros and cons of helping her as only a true Slytherin would. A decision such as this is not an easy one to make, after all. If he does help her, he risks his place within Voldemort's ranks should her plan be discovered. If he doesn't, he's allowing her to go in blind and without any help – for his useless brother, certainly, won't be able to provide the assistance she truly needs. In the end, it comes down to whether he would rather have Vivian Blair hale and hearty or six feet under, and the answer to that is not nearly as difficult to realize.
"Your plan is terrible and it's going to backfire," Regulus tells her. "You need to work out the kinks of it before you end up dead. And you need to tell Sirius everything, because as much as I hate to admit it, he'll do anything to make sure you're safe, even if it means stopping you from being a reckless idiot."
She opens her mouth to argue the 'reckless idiot' bit, but Regulus only spears her a sharp look and blazes on.
"I'll back you up if your father contacts me," he tells her, "but if it ends up threatening my position, you should know right now that I won't be able to help you."
And, like a true Slytherin, Regulus doesn't even wait for her to respond to him before he's pushing off from the railing and turning on his heel to take his leave. He takes several steps before pausing, turning back to her, and adding, "Write me if there's anything I need to know. Since you're so in love with me, it won't raise any eyebrows."
Vivian doesn't even have a chance to reply before he's spinning on his heel and apparating away with a loud pop, seemingly unconcerned with being seen by the muggles driving across the bridge. The darkness is complete enough that no one seems to notice, or if they do, they don't stop their strange vehicles to wonder at the oddity. As for Vivian, she just stands there, still leaning partially against the railing as she stares at the place where Regulus had just stood, and releases a loud breath.
All things considered, that had gone somewhat better than she'd expected.
…Of course, convincing Regulus to agree to her plan had been the easy part. After all, he happens to be the slightly less stubborn brother.