All rights belong to Rick Riordan

Chapter 97

(Artemis)

"Will the pair of you stop with the god's damned suck up treatment! I am not here to listen to you worship the very ground I 'walk' upon." I told the two Ichthyocentaur trainers who had rushed to greet me upon arriving at the Camp Fish-Blood and spent the next five minutes showering me with every praise under the sun.

'Maybe we should have brought Sea-Weed Brain with us after all, just to distract everyone else.' Diana remarked whilst the two Ichthyocentaur looked taken back by my remark.

'He would still be trying to pronounce Ichthyocentaur. Besides if he stays at Orthrys he can actually do something he hasn't in a long time, take a break.' I joked before admitting seriously. The truth was I was well aware of how self-destructive Percy's recent state was in the last few months, both physically and mentally. Having been shot, stabbed, electrocuted, blown up, possessed, drugged, kidnapped... Cultivating in the latest instance of him getting a limb dismembered. Something putting up with a by now self-admitted 'hormonal' rampaging goddess was doing no favours for. After the incident with me decapitating my father's pet I was no longer able to deny that.

'So rather than babysit the Hunter's for us, instead he is babysitting himself?" Diana joked clearly amused.

'I like to think of it as getting practise for what is to come. Besides I think it is more likely that the city should be in more danger from them than to them.' I proposed only for my counterpart to chuckle in amusement as I focused back on the centaur wannabe's in front of me.

"I am so sorry Lady Artemis, please accept our apologi-" Aphros began only to be cut off as I raised my hand.

"You can't even seem to shut up without dragging it out. I get it, it is an honour to see me. But the fact of that matter is I was rudely awoken by Triton to fix your problem. So if one of you could kindly go get him it would be muchly appreciated." I told them completely aware of how rude I was being. I was tired, annoyed and was having to deal with the fact I did not have legs.

"Yes...Yes of course Lady Artemis." Bythos said bowing his head before swimming off in a strange mix of galloping and using his tail.

"If I may Milady..." Aphros began as I looked at him with a raised eyebrow.

"Yes?"

"It was just that we expected Lord Perseus to be accompanying you."

"First things first, his name is Percy calling him Perseus will get you a rather nasty surprise and second why would you assume that?" I asked glaring at the blue man/horse/fish hybrid who suddenly looked like he wanted to sew his mouth shut.

"Well we had been informed you were betrothed to one another a while back." He answered rather sheepishly. A look that really did not match with his otherwise powerfully built body structure.

"Exactly how far back are we talking?"

"A month or two..."

"We only announced it, let alone got engaged last week so how could you know prior to that?" I asked glaring at him as he nervously looked back at me.

"Lord Poseidon is terrible at keeping secrets!" He stammered out rapidly.

"I had noticed that stupidity had to originate somewhere in the gene pool. Speak of a glaring example of it." I muttered more to myself than him noticing the return of the other Ichthyocentaur followed by the twin-tailed figure of Triton who had opted to return to his normal skin colour of green and back to wearing lapis embossed armour over his human half, trident held in his left hand. Aphros meanwhile looked like someone who had just been rescued from the gallows.

"Lady Artemis as beautiful as ever." Triton remarked bowing his head respectfully and seemingly using the chance to look at my silver lower half as I followed his gaze.

"Cut the crap and let's get on with this. The longer I am here, the longer your idiot brother is left unattended with no one but himself for company." I told him only for him to lightly laugh.

"Of course we wouldn't want that who knows what sort of trouble he could get himself into? The pair of you may return to the campers now." Triton said turning to the pair of Ichthyocentaurs.

"Of course my Lord it has been a pleasure. Lady Artemis." Bythos said bowing his head to the pair of us.

"Thank the gods... I mean yes Milord." Aphros said in relief only to realise what he had said and correct himself, finally before copying his brother's gesture and the pair of them galloping away.

"Do I even want to know what you did to my former teacher?" Triton asked laughing watching them leave before turning back to me.

"Not as bad as what I am going to do to you if you keep looking at my tail." I told him causing him to hurriedly avert his gaze.

"Unfortunately that is something you will get a lot more of from the rest of camp if you meet them. Despite popular perception full-blooded female Mer-people are not as beautiful as they are cracked up to be by mortals. Far too many teeth for starters. Which probably explains why Marina had such problems in the first place with the boys here." He said and I wanted to call him out on exactly that thing was wrong with his current appearance noticing the second row in his mouth.

"Great, so I get to stumble past the fish equivalent of hormonal boys." I remarked sarcastically as the god simply grinned.

"Pretty much, besides you are the one who accepted the domain. You will have to deal with the err- 'downsides' of that decision." He retorted pointing downwards towards my lower half.

"I am pretty sure I accepted the land side of Tides, Your brother is the one who got the water bit."

"What you mean to say is you are still having difficulty swimming." He said grinning like an idiot definitely resembling his brother. Well except with much pointier teeth of course.

"This is why I never liked you when we were younger." I said crossing my arms in annoyance. Unlike my little brothers Apollo and Hermes I had not been so impressed with the messenger of the Sea's antics, thankfully keeping to land and away from Olympus had stopped me having to deal with him too often in the last two Millennia. The occasion Gigantomachy notwithstanding. After what happened with Orion... Well I did not want much to do with the children of Poseidon for a few millenia until Percy changed my opinion of them.

"You never liked anyone when you were younger." He retorted as I ground my teeth.

'Touché' A voice laughed in my head.

'Whose side are you on?' I hissed back at her internally.

"Very funny fish boy, now how about we go laugh at how much you have screwed up the situation?"

"Been at least fifteen hundred years since you called me that. But come on then and try not to fall flat on your face Sailor Moon." He laughed before turning around and slowly swimming towards the outskirts of the city as I resisted the urge to stick a hunting knife in his back as I followed behind him careful not to do exactly that.

'Oh dear gods, If Percy ever calls us that I will kill him.' Diana grumbled in horror mirroring my sentiments on my seemingly newfound nickname. Why was it that Poseidon's sons all had to be smart only when it came to making witty nicknames and not common sense?

"Call me that again Nemo." I muttered under my breath only for the fool to chuckle.

"I can feel the vibration even if I cannot hear you."

"Yeah well go fu-"

(Percy)

"-uck's sake, can we please stop letting 'her' pick Kirby!" The avatar of Envy complained having come last once again.

"I agree." Greed chipped in.

"'She' is kicking your asses." I agreed having watched the rather humiliating demolition of the aspects by the third. Sloth was asleep in the lazy boy chair across the room. I had been forced to give up because using a console is rather difficult with only one functioning hand. Even one as dumbed down as the Wii.

"The problem is the fact 'she' keeps making sucking sounds every time 'she' attacks. It is really creepy"

"I can always suc-"

"Yeah I am going to cut you off there. It is really distracting and not to mention disturbing." I cut in before she could finish.

"You are all so unfair!" Lust complained crossing her arms across her chest sulking.

"Cry me a river and pick someone else already!" Envy retorted picking Pit again for the simple reason he had wings and a sword, despite the fact he had lost every game so far with him. Greed picking Princess Peach eliciting a snicker of amusement from Envy at his choice.

"I suppose I can always practise my tongue skills." Lust declared as her selector moved across screen as the rest of us followed it with growing dread.

"Yoshi." The figure on the screen declared as we all looked on in weary resignation.

"I have the now officially run out of fucks to give." Greed said in exasperation before slumping into the chair.

"I can give you a few." Lust retorted only to cause a groan from all of us.

"Just shut up and play the game freak." Envy complained as I wondered if the girls were having better luck.

AN. Happy April Fools day everyone and yes I am sorry for only uploading part of the chapter so far. There is a lot more of it before anyone tries to murder me over the wait, i intend to finish the damned thing this weekend and resist the urge to play the cursed Xbone. I just wanted to assure you all i am still alive and have just been far to lazy with this in recent months (3 chapters in 9 months, i remember when i did 3 chapters in 3 days. Jeez I get how it feels to be Littlekuriboh if you know who that is.)

Also Rick has realised he fucked up and has to do another series. (Since when did Zeus have the power to take a full blooded Immortal Gods power away... I bet it was Piper's fault... the series stealing/ruining bitch)

So enjoy the rest of your day/evening and i will get this finished even if i have to drag myself kicking and screaming more than Artemis will be this time of year ;).