A/N: A posset is a mix of warm milk and alcohol that was historically used as a cold remedy. Obviously it doesn't work, although it does sound delicious.

When Tiger Lily loosed her arrow, the bowstring struck her arm, sending a sharp pain across the bare flesh. She gritted her teeth and let out a long hissing noise.

"You all right?" Rob said, rubbing her back.

"Yes," she said in a tight voice, fiddling with the strings of her leather armguard. It had slipped down too close to her wrist and left the crook of her arm unprotected. "Useless thing." She threw the armguard to the ground and looked through the hedge to where the pheasant had been a few seconds before. "Did I get it?"

"Not this time."

Tiger Lily groaned. She'd only managed one grouse all evening. Her frustration was increasing with every miss, which in turn was making it harder to meet her mark. "All right. Let's go over the to other side of the hill. There are trees there, we might get a squirrel."

"I think it's time to head back," Rob said, slinging the single grouse over his shoulder. "You're getting worked up."

"I'm not."

"Just a bit."

"But's it's Yule and your family will—"

"Everything for Yule's been paid for, an' Mum's getting suspicious about where the money's coming from. Come on." He held a hand out to her. After some hesitation she took it, secretly relieved to get away from such a disastrous hunt.

They stopped when they reached the oak tree they usually met and parted under. Rob put his hands on his waist, shoulders back. His shirt was slightly too tight and Tiger Lily caught a glimpse of bare skin through one of the gaps between the straining buttons.

"When will I see you again?" she said to distract herself from contemplations on the benefits of hussy-dom.

"We're a tad busy with getting everything ready so I was thinking the first day of Yuletide," Rob said. "We could spend the morning with our families an' then get away in the afternoon? What do you think?"

"It will have to be the evening, I think. Uncle Hortenbold and Aunt Mertensia are going to call on us to see Father."

"Aye? When's he home?"

"He didn't give a day, but he said it would be before Yuletide," she said, and bit her lower lip, not wanting to say out loud what she knew: that there had been no word on when/if he had left the Great Smials.

"That's still three more days."

"Mmm."

"Is that why you've been a bit off tonight?" Rob said. "You're worried about your dad?"

The truth was that Tiger Lily was still perturbed from her fight with Sango that morning. But she wouldn't tell Rob that. She didn't want him to know the horrible things Sango had said.

"More or less," she said.

He placed one of his hands on her cheek and she closed her eyes. She put her hand to his and tried to focus on the sensation of his rough, warm fingers. Nothing else needed to exist for the moment.

He kissed her neck and even with her eyes shut she knew he was smiling.

"We'll have to be more careful when he gets back. He'll be coming after me with a longbow."

Tiger Lily smiled at the thought of when, not if. "If you'd met him you'd know how funny that is. He's as threatening as a sponge cake. You'd like him." She still couldn't bring herself to say 'You will'. Tiger Lily groaned and buried her face in Rob's chest. "What are we doing?"

"What?"

This wasn't the right time for that conversation. She pulled away from him and stood on her toes to kiss his cheek. "Nothing. I'll see you at Yuletide."

They agreed to meet at nine o'clock and wished each other a merry Yule. She wanted to say 'I love you' but couldn't quite manage it.

And they parted.

To Mrs Peony Took,

I hope you won't think me impertinent for writing, but Aferbold isn't in a fit state to do so himself. His head cold has turned into a flu and he's not very coherent at the moment (though I'm uncertain if it's the fever or tipsiness brought on from the number of possets he's been taking). He is expected to recover fully, however he isn't currently well enough to travel. I'm sorry to inform you that he will not be able to return to you for Yuletide.

He had been planning to undertake the journey to Bywater regardless and it took a great deal of convincing to get him to stay.

I have spoken with the Thain's lady and we are in agreement that it would be ill advised for you and your children to travel to the Smials due to the Men, who occupy several encampments on the land between Bywater and Tookborough. If you decide to make the journey you will, of course, be made welcome at the Smials but we believe it would be safer for you to remain in the village.

You will be informed as quickly as possible if there is any change in Aferbold's condition. I wish you a joyful Yule, despite the circumstances, and hope that the next letter I write to you will bring more agreeable news.

Yours Faithfully,

Ivy Took

Alone in the morning room, Tiger Lily stared at the family tree that hung above the fireplace. The six Yule candles had been placed along the mantelpiece, greenery carefully arranged around their bases. The final candle obscured her father's name from view. She was supposed to be completing an embroidery that was supposed to be her gift to Bandobold on the final day of Yuletide, but she was having trouble concentrating.

The letter describing her father's illness had arrived a few hours earlier, the morning after the unfruitful hunting trip with Rob. Her mother had already decided that they weren't going to travel to the Great Smials. "We'll keep home and hearth warm for his return," she'd said. But the thought of Tiger Lily's father being all alone in the sickbed at Yule was too troubling for her to be productive.

The land between Bywater and Tuckborough was hilly and the only roads were half-trodden paths that weren't used frequently enough for anyone to bother maintaining them. She made the journey very infrequently, and when she did, always went in the carriage with her family. Of course, were she to go by herself she would have to go on a single pony. Her pony, Posy, wasn't young, so Tiger Lily would need to set out early in order to get to the Great Smials before dark. The Men could be a problem, but if she brought her longbow she ought to be all right. Not that she would ever think of doing anything so unrespectable.

No. Certainly not.

The front door opened and a familiar voice reached her ears. She scowled, tossed her embroidery hoop aside and stood up in preparation for receiving Sango.

Tiger Lily brushed down her skirt and folded her hands as he entered in order to look as dignified as possible. She planned for her first words to him to be formal and detached to show that she wasn't upset anymore. But when she saw his haggard expression, unkempt hair and thrown-on clothes, all she could think to say was, "You look awful."

"I didn't get much sleep," he murmured, looking around the room like he'd never been there before. "Is your mother in?"

"She's paying calls."

He nodded distractedly. He was still wearing his outdoor coat and was fiddling with the brim of his hat. "Good… That's good."

"Nothing's happened, has it?" Tiger Lily said, concern creeping in through her indignation. "Are your family all right?"

"Yes. They're fine." He noticed the door was open behind him and leaned on it heavily to shut it, as though even this simple act exhausted him. Eventually he turned back to Tiger Lily, his eyes glassy with worry and fatigue. "You need to stop seeing that lad."

She rolled her eyes. This again. "If that's all you've come here to say then you can see yourself out."

"No." With purposeful steps he came to stand directly in front of her. Sango was short for a lad, only a few inches taller than Tiger Lily, and they made eye contact easily. "You were right. You deserve an explanation as to why you shouldn't court him and if you want me to be the person to explain it then I will. I won't tell anyone else; I don't want you to get in trouble. Only us."

"Oh." She hadn't been expecting this and now, presented with the very thing she'd wanted, she wasn't sure what to do with it. "All right then."

"What I need you to understand," he said softly, taking her hands, "is that he does not mean you well."

Tiger Lily hadn't been expecting this. She smiled, and laughed nervously. He couldn't be serious. "What are you talking about? Of course he does…"

But Sango's expression remained sincere. "If his intentions were honourable he would have spoken to your mother. He wouldn't insist on meeting in private."

She shook her head as she started to panic and her breathing quickened against her will. "No. It's because he's frightened Mother would disapprove…"

"It's because your mother would try to protect you from him."

Tiger Lily's breaths were coming too quickly and her heart was pounding uncomfortably hard in her chest. None of it made any sense. "Protect me from what? I don't understand." She pressed her hands to her eyes as she tried to suppress the dread that was threatening to choke her.

"Easy…" Sango said, putting his hands on her arms and gently pulling her to sit down on the settee. "Deep breaths, remember?"

She did her best to slow her breathing and allowed Sango to take her hands again. "I don't understand," she said again, quietly, once her anxious spell had passed.

Sango swallowed, and continued in a soft, steady voice. "There's a certain way of doing things, you know? Courtships, and th-then marriage, and then everything that comes after marriage. Children and so on." His face had taken on a reddish hue, and he was fumbling his words. "That's the proper way. You understand that, don't you?"

She nodded.

"Well, lads of Master Delver's station don't adhere to that propriety. They either don't know the proper way to conduct themselves, or don't care to follow it. He's using you."

"No, he's not!" She pulled her hands away from his. "Why are you saying all this? You're lying."

"I'm only trying to help you," he said. "I don't want you to get hurt." He placed a hand on her cheek, and brushed a stray curl away with his thumb. "You're gentle, and kind, and sheltered. And to a certain kind of person that makes you an easy target." He was being so irritatingly calm and reasonable. She wished he would shout at her. That would give her something to fight against. But he was saying everything with such certainty.

"For what?" she said, her voice croaky from her constricted throat.

"For him to take your money and your maidenhood. Then when he's got what he wants he'll abandon you to face the consequences alone."

Tiger Lily buried her face in her hands as her cheeks and forehead burned. It wasn't possible that she and Sango were having this conversation. It was too strange to be real.

"Oh, sweet…"

He tried to put his arms around her but she pushed him away. "No." She stared at the opposite wall as she tried to process what had been said. "That can't be right…" she said, looking at Sango. "He cares for me. I know he does," but after a moment's thought she amended, "I think he does…"

"Has he said so?"

"Yes." But when she scoured over her memories of their time together she found there weren't any conclusive declarations of affection, like the heroes made in Sango's love stories. "Well, not in his words, but his deeds…"

"Such things can be affected," Sango said.

"He's never asked me for money," Tiger Lily said quickly. Probably too quickly, but at the moment this was all she had.

"He's never asked for anything?"

"He asked for some shortbread once…" she said. "I give him some of my kills when we go hunting together. Does that count?"

"If he's realised you're kind enough to give him food without question, then it's only a matter of time. He asks for shortbread, then he asks for meat, then he asks for money. That's how it begins."

Tiger Lily couldn't speak. Everything with Rob had taken months to make and now it was unravelling in the course of an afternoon.

"What about the other thing?" Sango said in a hushed voice. "He hasn't tried to… to seduce you, has he?"

Tiger Lily curled forward and hid her face in her skirt to hide her expression. She tried to speak, but all that came out was a whimper.

"Oh…" Sango's voice was trembling and his arms enfolded around her, tight and protective. "Did you let him?"

"No…" Tiger Lily groaned.

The tension in Sango's arms relaxed. His relief was audible in his voice. "That's good. You see, if anyone thinks you've been ruined by him it will be so difficult for you to find a husband when the time comes. Your family's reputation would be ruined."

Tiger Lily drew her face away from her skirt to look at him again. His face was glowing with concern for her, he was so sure about this. Surety was something Tiger Lily never had much of. A vision of herself, an old spinster alone in the Maids Quarters, passed before her mind's eye.

"It's not true, is it?" she said. "He doesn't really mean me harm?"

"Yes, it's true," Sango said gently.

"What do I do?" she whispered.

"You stop seeing that lad. Today."

"No!" Tiger Lily stood, clutching her skirt. "I can't…"

"You need to," Sango said, "while your reputation is still intact."

"But…" She screwed her eyes tight shut. Nothing made sense, no matter which way she looked at it. "I think you should go now."

"Tills…"

"I said I'd like you to leave!" Tiger Lily left the room and flew to her bedchamber, heedless of the maidservants she passed in the corridor. She shut the door behind her and started to pace up and down. She didn't know how she would ever find rest again. She was caught. It didn't matter what she did, she would be making the wrong decision: risking her future or abandoning Rob.

She couldn't believe Sango was lying to her. Sango: the person she knew better than anyone, including herself; her source of comfort and companionship; her best and only friend. She knew unequivocally that he loved her and she had seen in his face that he wanted to help her.

But Rob was the only person who had ever looked at her like that. She couldn't bring herself to believe that the kind way he spoke to her and the gentleness of his actions were all a lie.

Why else would he want you? a treacherous voice in the back of her head said. What else could you give him? Are you so arrogant that you think he honestly wants you? He can't care for you when there's nothing worth caring for.

She turned towards her dressing table. Through the shawl over her mirror she could make out her indistinct reflection. There was her shapeless nose, round face, dull brown eyes and infuriating hair. Dressed like a child and paralyzed with indecision, she was pathetic.

How could he look at you and see something desirable?

It had all been a deluded fantasy borne of ignorance. She had fooled herself into believing she knew things she had no understanding of and had paid the price. What else could she have expected? She had ignored Sango's advice, kindly given, when he knew so much more than her. She had been so naïve…

The morning of the first day of Yuletide passed much as every other. There had been the exchanging of presents and they had sung one of the old songs as her mother lit the first Yule candle. The usual meals had been served (albeit much diminished from last year), with the extra place laid out at the table. This was traditional, in case anyone in need should come to the door in need of food and warmth. A small part of her thought her father might arrive during dinner and take the empty place, but of course that didn't happen.

As it drew closer to nine Tiger Lily grew increasingly uneasy. She couldn't stop imagining Rob sat alone in the dark and cold under the oak tree. But she couldn't risk going to see him again. He would try and talk her out of leaving him and she would fall for it, like she always did. Sango had said she mustn't see him again, so that was what she'd do.

But eventually she couldn't stand it anymore; sitting in the morning room, watching the clock. She made her excuses and retired early, but couldn't find comfort. It was that old, burning anxiety that infected her mind and flesh and would not grant her rest. No matter how she tried to distract herself, staring at her bedroom ceiling, all she could think of was Rob. She listened as the rest of the household went to bed. And then there was silence.

Tiger Lily started as someone knocked on her window. She sat up and stared at the curtains. Sango hadn't come to her window since he moved to Overhill. Perhaps she had imagined it.

The knocking came again and she rose from the bed. She took the shawl from over her mirror and wrapped it about her shoulders as she approached the window. Drawing the curtains aside she found Rob was stood outside, looking cold, sheepish and expectant. They made eye contact and Tiger Lily froze up. It hadn't occurred to her that this could happen and there was no one she could ask for help. Avoiding Rob was one thing but to have him stood outside her window—real and alive and unpredictable—was something else completely.

He mimed for her to open the window and Tiger Lily reluctantly undid the catch. She pushed the window open and tugged the shawl tightly around her shoulders. The cold was piercing and she could see every breath she took.

Rob had his coat wrapped close to him, with his hands tucked into his sleeves. His shoulders were hunched and his arms folded across his chest. Tiger Lily tried not to look him in the eye.

"You all right?" he said.

"Yes."

"Hope you don't mind me coming here, but I remembered you said about Master Sango coming to your window. I was worried you might be sick or something'd happened with one of the Big Folk…"

Tiger Lily said nothing, but kept her arms folded and her face turned down.

"You had a nice Yule so far?"

"Yes," she mumbled in the direction of the windowsill.

"Nothing's wrong with you or yours?"

"No."

They fell into silence. Tiger Lily didn't think she wanted to know how he was looking at her. She wasn't supposed to be talking to him. He wasn't supposed to be here. She would open herself up to her own foolishness, like she always did. She was a different version of herself when she was with Rob, and she didn't know what that irresponsible, love-struck tweenager would do.

"Why din't you come?" he said.

Tiger Lily turned her head further away from him. This was painful.

"What's up with you?" he said, increasingly impatient. "Did you forget? Could you not get away?"

She screwed her eyes shut and brought the shawl up to cover her mouth and nose.

"I waited the best part of an hour for you! It's bloody freezing out here! I made you this for Yule."

There was the sound of his hand being brought down on the windowsill but Tiger Lily didn't dare open her eyes to see what he'd put there.

"Ain't you going to say you're sorry? You say sorry to everything!"

Still she said nothing.

"Why won't you talk to me?" he shouted.

It wasn't going to work. He wasn't going to just walk away in silence and the longer he was here the more likely he was to be noticed by someone. Tiger Lily did her best to look at him and ignore the tearing feeling in her chest. "I can't see you anymore," she said.

The anger that clouded his features dissolved immediately. His eyes took on the look of a hurt child and his lips parted in shock. "What?"

She turned away again, gripping the shawl as tightly as she could.

"What's happened? Is it your family?"

She shook her head.

"It's not about what happened in the barn, is it?" he said gently, leaning forward on the window sill. "I thought we'd sorted that out. We don't have to do nothing you don't want to…"

"It's not that…" she groaned, turning her head as far as she could to the side to avoid looking at him.

"Then what?"

"Nothing!"

"Well, that's not true, is it?" He stared at her hard. All she could hear was his heavy, controlled breathing. "That it, then? You were going to leave without saying anything, without even saying goodbye? Without even a 'Sod off, Rob'?"

"You need to leave," she said, reaching out to pull the window closed.

"I'm sorry if I did aught to upset you," he said desperately, touching her arm. "Tell me what I did and we can talk about it."

"Don't!" She pulled away from him, glaring. "It's wicked," she said, gripping the window frame so hard her nails sunk into the wood, "and repulsive."

He stared back at her, looking like a dog that had just been kicked by its owner. "Lil," he said, his voice trembling, "can't we talk?"

"No!" she said, hearing the wobble in her own voice. "Just go away!"

She pulled the window shut with a slam and drew the curtains closed as quickly as she could. She sat on the window seat with her back to the wall, hunched forward.

He hammered on the glass again. "Lil!"

Tiger Lily stayed where she was. She had cut off the conversation without falling for his manipulations and she couldn't risk opening up to him again. Still, she was too frightened to move. She waited for another knock on the window or call of her name, but none arrived.

Eventually she gathered enough courage to tug aside the curtain and look outside. Though the dark was thick, it was clear that Rob had gone. She wasn't sure what she was hoping for.

She returned to bed, but finding sleep was harder than ever. Her heart was pounding and she felt a little sick.

After some time she noticed a dim golden ring around her door. She got up and padded out into the corridor. The fragile, flickering light was coming from the door to the morning room, open a crack. The rest of the house was dark and Tiger Lily padded towards the light.

Her mother was sat on a settee. Before her was an open box, polished and inlayed with a pattern of flowers. It was filled with letters and papers, which she was reading by candlelight. She was wearing her nightgown and her hair fell over her shoulder in a thick braid. The door creaked as Tiger Lily leaned against it, causing her mother to look up.

"Hello, dear. I thought you'd retired hours ago."

"I can't sleep."

"You look a little pale. Do you feel all right?"

"I don't know…"

Her mother watched her closely, and extended an arm to her. "Come on."

Tiger Lily willingly went to sit by her. Everything was wrong and she welcomed the uncomplicated maternal comfort. "What are you doing?" she said.

"I was just going over some old letters. Mostly between me and your father." She smiled. "We courted for a year before we were married. With me in Longbottom and him in Bywater, we wrote quite a few."

"Do you miss him?"

"Yes."

Tiger Lily noticed some papers that stood out. They were obviously much older and crinkled, unlike the well-kept letters in her mother's and father's hands.

"What are those?"

"Oh, those are the maps old Mad Baggins left your father." She laughed. "You'll like this." She brought the maps out, still lovingly tied with string, and handed them to Tiger Lily.

She took them and read the label.

For the sons of HOLTBOLD TOOK, to be divided between them; may they get much use out of them, B.B.

Her mother was pursing her lips, her eyes merry with amusement. "Hortenbold didn't want them. But I don't think your father ever understood the joke."

Tiger Lily wasn't sure she did either. But on closer inspection she realised that these maps were for places she had never heard of before, with place names she didn't know how to pronounce. Uncle Hortenbold cared about perceived respectability much more than most Tooks, and her father never ventured far from home if he could help it. Perhaps she did understand the joke after all…

"Tell me what's troubling you," Mrs Took said.

Tiger Lily dropped the maps down among the letters and took a few moments to organise her words before she said them. "Mother, how… how do you know if—when you're in love with someone? Really in love with them, I mean. Not just ordinary love or childish fancies."

Her mother inhaled, and laughed nervously. "Now there's a question. Do you have anyone specific in mind?"

"No. I just— I'm so confused." Her voice was on the edge of tears but she couldn't pull it back. "I thought I knew and then I didn't, and now I don't know how I'll ever know if I'm in love with someone truly. So I'd really like to know."

"I never wondered that myself. I always thought I'd know when I reached it. And I did, as it turned out." Mrs Took brought Tiger Lily to her side, and let her rest her head on her shoulder. "What's brought this on?"

She stared listlessly ahead at the cold hearth and burnt Yule candle. There was too much going on in her head to describe. She couldn't tell her mother about Rob now. What would be the point? "Me and Sango had a fight," she said quietly.

"Ah." She ran her fingers through Tiger Lily's wayward hair. "I had thought for this to be a surprise but I've invited the Boffins here tomorrow. Perhaps while I'm entertaining the grown-ups you and Sango can have a little talk. Would you like that?"

"Yes." Tiger Lily sighed and snuggled further into her mother's shoulder. "I feel so strange, Mother. I don't know what I want and I don't know what to do. I'm so tired, I just want to go to sleep but I can't calm down and I don't know how."

Mrs Took pulled her into a gentle hug and said nothing. Tiger Lily stayed in the morning room until her mother said she was tired and wanted to retire. Tiger Lily decided that she probably hadn't been in love with Rob. But she also felt that she could have very easily fallen in love with him one day, probably quite soon. This loss of potential was somehow worse than the idea that she was in love with him already. So she returned to her own room, much calmer than when she'd left, both anticipating and dreading waking up the next day.

"I am glad you were able to make it down," Mrs Took said as the Boffins removed their heavy winter coats in the hallway the next day. Tiger Lily was standing a little away from the group, doing her best to keep sight of Sango amongst the constantly moving cluster of Boffins and servants.

"It was kind of you to have us, Peony," Mrs Boffin said. "Beldo and his family are charming but it is strange to be away from all our dear friends."

Mr Boffin muttered something and was punished with a shushing from his wife.

"What was that?" Mrs Took said.

"Nothing at all," Mr Boffin said, smiling coldly. "Any sign of Aferbold?"

"Not yet, no."

"I've heard the Thain keeps a well-stocked library," Mr Boffin said. "No doubt he's happily ensconced somewhere in the Great Smials."

"Yes…" Mrs Took said.

"The smial looks lovely this year," Sango said, coming forward and taking Mrs Took's hands with enthusiasm. "It's been far too long since I've seen you; you look so well."

Mrs Took preened. "Not so well as I once did, but much better for seeing you."

Sango grinned dazzlingly, but it disappeared once he turned to Tiger Lily, like a cloud passing over the sun. He wasn't angry, or even sad, but there was a distance between them that hadn't been there before. He took her hand as though by obligation and gave it a gentle squeeze. "I trust you're well," he said, too formally.

"Yes, thank you," she said.

He let go of her hand and looked around at the greenery that hung on the walls; glossy holly and mistletoe hung with fat white berries. "It's beautiful. You always know how to arrange them the most artfully," he said, addressing Mrs Took again.

"Thank you, Master Sango. Why doesn't Tiger Lily show you the rest of the smial while we take tea?" Mrs Took said, already ushering the other Boffins and Bandobold into the drawing room.

Tiger Lily and Sango looked at each other awkwardly and began their slow walk down the corridor in the same uneasy silence. Mrs Took had left the door to the drawing room open and Tiger Lily didn't dare say what she wanted when there was a chance the others could hear.

"I'm sorry about your father," Sango said eventually.

They passed through a doorway the divided the main passage in half. Tiger Lily closed it carefully, cutting them off from the others.

"All's over," she said. "With me and Master Delver."

The effect was immediate. The awkward formality washed away and simple, uncomplicated relief shone through. "Really? Tills, you don't know how glad I am."

Before Tiger Lily realised what was happening she had started whimpering and there were hot tears running down her face.

"Oh, flower…"

He pulled her into a warm hug. Surrounded by that old, familiar smell, Tiger Lily turned her face into his chest and sobbed unrestrainedly.

"It's all right. You're safe," he murmured.

"I liked him," Tiger Lily choked between her gasps for breath.

"I know. But it'll all be for the best in the end, you'll see."

When the tears had run dry she drew away from him, carefully keeping her breathing regular so she didn't dissolve into sobs again. "Tell me I did the right thing," she said.

"What?"

"I need someone to tell me if I did the right thing or not. Because I don't feel it at all."

Sango cupped her face in his hands and looked her steadily in the eyes. "You did what you had to do to protect yourself. Of course it was the right thing."

He was so certain. In his mind there was no question, so there shouldn't be any in hers either. But somehow that didn't make her feel any better.

A/N: Working title for this chapter was 'Oh ffs Sango'.

Apologies to the guest reviewer who informed me a couple of months ago that I wasn't allowed to break up Rob and Tiger Lily. You comment killed me because I knew what was coming and it was too late to change it and thank you for your review and I'm sorry-