IV. Fake It Till You Make It
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Her ankle took longer than expected to heal.
It's been a week since the visit to Karakura General. Rukia grimaced as she gently massaged her injured ankle. Even now, her ankle still throbbed uncomfortably if she set her foot down in a certain way. Ice packs and painkillers helped but with her mobility compromised, she hadn't been able to do as much in her café.
"I already took out the trash and did the recycling. Would that be all for today, Rukia?"
Rukia raised her head up to see Momo standing at the backdoor, patting her hands dry on her apron. At the sight of her smiling face, Rukia nodded, thanking her. "Yes, Momo. Thank you so much for helping out."
Momo was the university student she employed part-time to help out in the café from time to time. Business wasn't exactly booming in this part of town but there were days when Rukia needed help with cashing up and washing dishes. The girl was hardworking, quick on her feet and lived nearby. When the workload became a bit too much, she was thankfully able to help out and pick up the extra shifts almost right away. The extra pair of hands was indispensable and Rukia gave a generous tip when it came to paying her at the end of the week.
Momo was grinning as she hung up her apron on the hook and said her goodbyes.
Perched comfortably on her chair, Rukia made no move to leave and waved at Momo as the girl opened the door to go. The hinges on the front door needed oiling. Rukia heard the unmistakable sound of the door opening.
"I'm sorry but we're shut now."
Momo's voice rang out unexpectedly but Rukia didn't think too much of it. Some customers tended to come in late without realizing that the café shut early on weekends. The oven timer went off and she got up, putting on her mittens before gingerly retrieving her cupcakes and setting them to cool on the side.
Then—
"Ah, I'm not here for the café. I'm here to see Rukia."
That was Ichigo's voice.
Rukia didn't think twice about it. She hobbled out of the kitchen, oven mittens still on; resisting the urge to facepalm when she saw Ichigo standing just outside the door next to Momo, who gave her a questioning look.
"Ichigo!"
Momo's eyes seemed to widen further at that and Rukia belatedly realized that she was too loud. She seemed too excited- too eager to greet the newcomer and that was undoubtedly suspicious to Momo, especially when she saw that Rukia was still wearing her oven mittens. Designed in the shape of a cat's paw, the mittens were black so the pink of the toe beans on the other side stood out glaringly.
Rukia hastily removed them when she saw Ichigo's gaze locked in on her hands. Her face grew warm. He must think that she looked ridiculous right now, especially since the frilly pink My Melody apron she had on had splats of flour streaked across it. She hid the mittens behind her back and cleared her throat. "You're early. I wasn't expecting you until later."
"Ah," said Ichigo as he made his way into the café, "I was in the neighbourhood anyway. Thought I'd drop by a bit earlier since there wasn't much for me to do."
Rukia was surprised at how he kept walking towards her. He finally stopped right in front of her, leaning over the marble counter that separated them, so they were eye-level to each other. She gulped. His face was hovering too close and any second now, she thought her heart was going to burst with how fast it was going. While she was trying not to give away signs of discomfort with Momo still in the building, she still stiffened when she felt his hand brushing against the side of her face.
"You missed a spot."
Sure enough when he held out his fingers to her, they were dusted with white powder.
Rukia could feel her cheeks growing even warmer. Her embarrassment only worsened when she realized that Momo was still there. She hovered by the door, glancing at Ichigo suspiciously.
Unthinkingly, Rukia grabbed Ichigo by the front of his shirt, tugging him down to her eye-level; using his body as a cover to shield herself from Momo's view while whispering harshly, "what's wrong with you! I told you to come at 3! Now what am I supposed to say to Momo! How am I going to explain this?!"
It did not make sense for her existence to just fade into the background while she was on the mend from a sprained ankle. To catch the killer, flames needed to be stoked and appearances needed to be kept.
Thus, it was time for her to deploy... the cupcakes.
Her baked goods were lethal weapons of war. No one could resist them and certainly no one could say a bad word about them. She would get Ichigo to bring in her delicious homemade cupcakes and share them among the hospital staff. It would keep news of her circulating and keep some attention on her.
The plan was to get Ichigo to come by for the cupcakes after Momo had gone home for the day. She had no intention of getting the poor girl involved in some nasty serial killer business after all.
But the idiot showed up an hour earlier from schedule, throwing all of Rukia's carefully laid plans out of the window. She scowled, readily coming to a conclusion: Ichigo's timing sucked.
Ichigo bristled, replying just as heatedly. "Well, I didn't know that! Who is she anyway?"
"She's the girl who works part-time at my cafe. It's all mentioned in the file! Did you even read it? And keep your voice down! You're going to blow our cover!"
Ichigo rolled his eyes in response, snorting for good measure. "Look who's talking! I'm not the one with her hands all ove—"
"Rukia, is everything ok?"
Momo cleared her throat loudly. She stood some distance away, torn between her desire to stay and watch drama unfold or vacating the premises for the two. She blushed, suddenly conscious of the possible third-wheeling on her part. From her vantage point, it almost looked like Rukia and the stranger were deep in the throes of a passionate lip-lock.
The interruption successfully broke up the argument between Ichigo and Rukia. The two of them sprang away immediately from each other like two repelling magnets, each of them carefully avoiding the other's eyes.
The stone slab of the marble counter felt cool against burning skin as Rukia laid her palms flat against it. Rukia resisted the urge to fidget. Inwardly panicking, she was unsure of what to do or how to proceed. She tucked her stray bang behind her ear, willfully ignoring her reddening cheeks. "Oh you're still here, Momo. Y-Yes, everything is fine."
Momo's eyes narrowed. "Are you sure?"
When Rukia didn't immediately answer, choosing to purse her lips instead; Momo was on high alert. Yumisawa was a quieter part of Karakura town. Everyone in the neighbourhood knew each other. Momo chewed on her lip, quietly shutting the door behind her. It didn't feel right to leave Rukia alone with a stranger. Even after four years of living in the same neighbourhood, Rukia was still a bit of a mystery to her neighbours. She was polite and nice. Her chocolate muffins were Momo's favourite. But she has never mentioned anything at all about her past, let alone a potential love interest, not even to Momo, the closest thing to her friend in this small town.
Her eyes flitted to the stranger, suddenly feeling protective of her boss. His orange hair reminded Momo of high school delinquents. Seeing as to how it hasn't been that long since Momo graduated high school and how she used to serve on the student council, she naturally distrusted him.
Noticing Momo's eyes on him, Ichigo stared right back. The look in his eyes and the fierce scowl made Momo jump. He looked like a thug. All he needed was a lit cigarette and some piercings/tattoo sleeve to complete the look. She glanced at Rukia worryingly. She thought back about Rukia's unexpected foot injury and the sudden appearance of the man at the café, quickly putting two and two together.
What if... the stranger was the one responsible for Rukia's injury?
Was Rukia in some sort of trouble?
Who was this man? Is he a loan shark?
What if... Rukia owed him money?
And instead of being paid financially, this... fiend was demanding her to pay him back with her body?
Momo saw red. Her hand gripped tight at the straps of her bag, hitching it higher up her shoulder. She put on a brave face, asking Rukia, "Is this the man who injured you? Did he do that?"
"Well, you see—"
Rukia gave Ichigo a look, who immediately stiffened and grimaced. Even if he wasn't the culprit behind Rukia's injury, he did feel partially responsible. The guilt has only festered since then.
Unbeknownst to them, things looked dramatically different to Momo. There was no need for Rukia to continue. Her reluctance to talk about it said it all. In her eyes, Rukia was fearfully cowering under the stranger's glower, intimidated into silence. The stranger didn't like her asking questions and he especially didn't like how Rukia had tried to speak up against him.
Momo immediately rushed to Rukia's side, planting herself solidly in front of her boss despite them being roughly the same height and size. She has seen enough. It was now time to act. Rukia didn't deserve to be treated like this. If it was money that she owed the man, they can work something out. Momo knew that people in their neighbourhood would be more than happy to loan her the money.
"Stay away from her, you— you bastard!" Momo brandished her phone, putting it next to her ear. "I'm calling the cops!"
Wait, what?
Both Ichigo and Rukia's eyes widened into saucers at the threat. Never mind what strange scenario that Momo had conjured in her brain about them, Rukia can already imagine how annoying Renji would be over them jeopardizing the 'undercover mission'. This operation was meant to be covert and strictly off the record. They can't risk anyone else finding out about this!
Standing behind Momo, Rukia was the first to react. She stood on her tiptoes, snatching it out of Momo's hand; sighing in relief as she cancelled the call.
That was close.
Momo stared incredulously at Rukia, still shocked at how Rukia snatched her phone away. Of course, she realized; Rukia must be scared of retaliation from the man. The look in her eyes softened and she said to Rukia, "Rukia, you can't keep letting him do this to you! I know you're scared but there is justice in this world. You need to trust the law and let the judicial system take care of lowlifes like him."
"Momo please, let me explain. Whatever you think you know, trust me; it's not what you think it is."
"No, Rukia—" Momo's voice broke. She could not believe what Rukia has been reduced to: defending her tormentor in front of a friend! She needed to help the poor woman break free of her abuser's hold— "Why are you defending him? Is there something you're not telling me?"
"Momo," Rukia said, pinching the bridge of her nose— "This is Ichigo. He's my boyfriend."
Momo's voice grew even shrillier. It was all of her darkest fears coming true. She should have known! The truth was exactly was she had imagined it to be!
"Rukia, that's even worse! This is domestic abuse! Is he here to beg you to come back to him? Did he promise you that he'd change? That this was the one and only time he'd ever lost control of his anger again? Don't listen to his lies!"
Ichigo was left stunned and a little hurt by the baseless accusations thrown at him. If anything, he's the one being physically abused. His poor shins and foot have not been the same since he agreed to do this.
"Momo—" Rukia's tone was calm but cut through the whirl of panicked thoughts streaming from Momo like a sharp blade. Ichigo looked up in awe at the sudden silence as the other woman immediately quieted down— "Listen to me very carefully."
Rukia explained it as best as she could. Removing all the parts involving the dead patients and the secret undercover mission, the facts were thus laid bare: Ichigo is her boyfriend. He didn't cause her ankle injury. It happened because she was clumsy and injured herself when she got a tad bit too competitive during a party hosted by Ichigo's friend.
"So Momo, I'd like you to meet Dr. Ichigo Kurosaki, my very loving and non-abusive boyfriend."
Ichigo gave a little awkward wave on the side to Momo, who didn't look impressed at all. If anything, her eyes began to dart between the two of them suspiciously, eyes narrowing when she noticed how they were subtly distancing themselves from each other. "Are you sure? I mean, you guys don't look like a couple."
It's true. Her boss was tiny and barely came up to this man's shoulders. Not to mention, he hasn't stopped frowning since he set foot in. Even with that 'kiss' from earlier, Momo couldn't help but think that has been a trick of the eye or some form of optical illusion that she's been hoodwinked by.
Rukia could feel her pulse racing. She gulped. "Don't be silly!" she scoffed, "Ichigo and I are so in love that I couldn't bear to stay a day apart from him. That is to say, we can't even spend a day without seeing each other's faces. We talk to each other on the phone every night. You like to text me goodnight before bedtime all the time. Isn't that right, Ichigo?"
Ichigo began to groan inwardly. Not this again. He swore that every time they are being made to put on a show to convince others of their relationship, he's the one who's made to suffer.
Under her expectant gaze, he had no choice but to reply. "R-Right."
"Huh!" Momo made a noise that was neither approving nor especially comforting. "If you say so. But why didn't you say anything about this at all?"
"Well, that's because— because we're both very private people. And I—" Rukia struggled to find the right word— "worry that Ichigo would realize one day that I'm much too plain for him. I thought that if he was going to dump me after a few weeks it'd be better to make sure as few people knew about it as possible."
She covered her face in her hands, pretending to cry. "I love him so much but I'm terrified that he'd realize sooner than later that I don't deserve him. I'm a fraud!"
"Oh, Rukia! That's not true! Anyone would be lucky to have you!"
Rukia was inconsolable despite Momo's best attempts at comforting her. It was 'unworthy this' and 'undeserving that'. How the tables turned, thought Ichigo to himself as he listened to Rukia loudly debasing herself. Momo was aghast at the crying, shooting glares at him from time to time; clearly blaming this all on him. Payback he thought, was sweet and karma was a bitch.
"Aww babe, I never knew!"
The few drops of tears that Rukia managed to squeeze out almost leaked back into her eyes. The scowl on her face only deepened when she saw through the gaps in her fingers how Ichigo had his arms folded, practically smirking as he looked down at her. The sneaky bastard even pretended that he was comforting her as he patted her on her back. The guise would have worked if Rukia didn't see how hard he was trying to keep himself from laughing out loud.
Seizing the right moment, Rukia elbowed him hard in the ribs. The result was a spluttering Ichigo coughing loudly and glaring murderously at her while she gave a loud gasp of 'oh no!' in front of their stunned audience.
"Let me get you some water, Ichigo!"
"Rukia! I swear to God—"
"What was that, Ichigo? You prayed to God. Oh, what about? That the two of us would be together forever? Aww!"
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Momo didn't even know where to look any more. All she knew was that her normal boring Saturday shift had suddenly turned completely erratic. This was nearly too much excitement for the weekend.
In the chaos of the moment no one noticed that there was a fourth person in the café. Even Momo jumped a little when she realized that she wasn't standing alone at the door any more. The man looked to be in his fifties. Dark haired and broad-shouldered, Momo thought he even looked a bit like Ichigo; until she saw the goofy face he was making at her boss and her supposed boyfriend- like he was witnessing the miracle of the century, the birth of a unicorn or something equally as wacky.
Momo immediately distanced herself from him. Stupidity might be contagious.
Rukia met his eyes unexpectedly when she straightened herself up to her full height, triumphant over a still glaring Ichigo who was clutching his side in pain.
She blinked at the newcomer. Her confusion deepening when she saw Momo give a quick shake of her head, signaling to her that she didn't know the man either.
"Who are you?"
"Jesus fucking Christ—" Ichigo suddenly shot up, pain and discomfort forgotten as he screeched loudly, "Oi, Old Goat-chin! What are you doing here? I don't believe this! You fucking followed me here, didn't you?"
Rukia's eyebrows furrowed. What's going on? And more importantly, who was this man? Ichigo said he followed him here. Was he going to be a problem?
"Ichigo! How can you be so heartless?"
The older man suddenly started ugly crying in front of everyone. Rukia was stunned, torn between cringing and giving him a kitchen towel when she saw the tears running down his cheeks. He blew his nose noisily at the sleeve of his shirt. Momo immediately inched further away.
Ichigo scoffed, looking away from the scene with practiced ease, unfazed by the crocodile tears.
As if noticing Ichigo's lack of response, the man began beating at his chest. "None of Papa's children want to share their secrets with Papa anymore. Oh Masaki! What have I done to deserve this? Our son, Ichigo won't even let us know that he's got a girlfriend!"
Wait, what?
Rukia could feel her blood growing cold as the situation at hand became clear. His son Ichigo? This man sitting on the floor, practically bawling his eyes out— He's Ichigo's father?
She fought the urge to facepalm. Turning to Ichigo, she hissed, "You brought your father into this?!"
"What, me? I didn't do anything! I told you! He followed me here!"
Rukia could only watch on in muted horror as the man approached her with his arms wide open, grinning from ear to ear at her. She gave a weak smile in return. Her hand gripping tightly at Ichigo's.
What the fuck was wrong with people today?
"There'll be time to explain everything later. But for now, welcome to the family! I'm Isshin, Patriarch of the Kurosaki family, husband of Masaki—" Isshin gave her a playful wink, making Ichigo shake his head in embarrassment and Momo trying her best to fade into the background— "But you can call me Papa!"
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That was how Rukia found herself sitting at the Kurosaki dining table that night, surrounded by Ichigo, Isshin and the rest of the Kurosaki family; which apparently also included a gigantic poster of a beautiful woman with russet orange hair (so his hair is natural!) and a kind smile. Ichigo introduced the woman on the poster as his deceased mother, his father's only marble and sanity in this world.
Dinner was a strange business of tense silence and curious glances directed at her, mostly by the two women seated opposite her. Karin- the dark-haired twin did it more furtively, only sneaking glances when she thought Rukia wasn't looking. Yuzu however was practically Isshin-like in her behaviour as she stared unabashed. Rukia felt a heady sense of unease under their gazes. Ichigo who was seated next to her on the other hand, has his attention fixed solely on the food. He seemed determined to ignore everything else going on at the dinner table, ready to bolt the minute he finished eating.
Rukia thought it best to take a leaf out of his book, pretending to not notice anything amiss as she scooped more rice into her mouth, chewing quickly. The chicken curry was apparently Yuzu's specialty. It was a shame that Rukia was in a hurry. She would have loved to stay for seconds.
"So how did you two meet?"
Yuzu's eyes were gleaming with wide-eyed wonder. Rukia choked on her piece of chicken, coughing loudly at the unexpected question. Even Ichigo turned around in surprise, quickly offering her a glass of water.
With Rukia still loudly coughing, Ichigo reluctantly took over the Q & A session. His voice was gruff. "None of your business, Yuzu. Shut up and eat your food."
Yuzu pouted, making Ichigo avert his gaze hastily. The power of her puppy dog eyes was legendary. He didn't stand a chance against them so he wisely turned his attention back to his bowl of rice. The sooner they finished eating, the better it'd be for everyone.
By then Rukia's coughing fit has subsided. Just when she was about to heave a sigh of relief, Karin started. "That's not what you said the first time Toshiro came over for dinner."
Ichigo scowled, gripping his pair of chopsticks so hard that Rukia thought they would snap in half. "That's not the same thing. Ask Old Goat-chin! He agrees with me."
"The idiot son is right," Isshin replied, "Papa's daughters are precious angels. There are bad men out there who would use you and break your heart. It's best to show them their place and the consequences of them messing things up. They break my little girl's heart; my son breaks one of their bones. I'd say they got off light. We only have one heart, bones though- there's 206 of them."
Karin scoffed. "For Yuzu maybe. You know I can break some bones just fine on my own."
Rukia almost dropped her spoon. Who were these people she's eating dinner with? Did Ichigo's family have some sort of criminal syndicate link she wasn't aware of?
Ichigo heartily concurred with his father; both of them choosing to ignore Karin's reply. The two men do not always see eye to eye about things, but on this matter, both father and son stood as allies. On other matters though, Ichigo was on his own. He still wasn't out of the woods.
Isshin suddenly grinned, pushing his empty plate aside. He propped his head up in both his hands, heart eyes galore as he seemed to sway from side to side in uncontainable excitement.
"How did you two meet? And no, tell me everything! Papa wants to hear every single detail of how you two lovebirds met."
Yuzu and Karin shared identical smirks while Ichigo's scowl deepened in response as he realized he's been played. Seeing this, Rukia knew there was no way to escape unscathed today. It was a good thing she had the perfect cover story planned for this.
"Ichigo saved my life."
That successfully got the attention from everyone seated at the table. Isshin and Yuzu leaned in closer, silently imploring her to continue with their eyes. Ichigo made up his mind that he wanted no part in the upcoming Rukia's performance.
"I was a bit absent-minded that day. I didn't even notice that the lights have changed. If Ichigo didn't pull me back at the last minute—" Rukia trailed off, letting the dramatic moment sink in for her audience. She reached over for Ichigo's hand. Despite his reluctance, experience has more or less made Ichigo resigned to his fate as he allowed her hand to cover his, reluctantly setting his chopsticks down.
Isshin sobbed, wailing proudly to his wife's portrait. "Did you hear that, Masaki? Our son is a hero!"
"Ichi-nii, that's so romantic! I can't believe that you tried to hide this from us! Let me get another bowl of rice! You too, Rukia-nee! I hope you guys saved some room for desserts. I made mochi!"
"Yuzu, no. That's fine. I don't nee—"
Yuzu ignored him as she eagerly scooped up both his and Rukia rice bowls and marched towards the rice cooker. Ichigo sighed. All he wanted was to end this awkward dinner and go home before he cringed and died from sheer embarrassment that is his family and Rukia.
He narrowed his eyes at the smirk and snickers coming from Karin seated across from him. "What? Why are you looking at me like that?"
"Oh nothing," she said, leaning back against her chair relaxed and languid. "Just realizing that it's true what they say, karma's a bitch. What comes around, goes around, Ichi-nii—" her smirk widened as she jerked her thumb in the direction of Isshin— "You think Old Goat-chin would show us your baby pictures if we asked nicely enough? You were so cute as a chubby baby."
"You wouldn't dare," Ichigo growled. It was years ago. Karin clearly had not forgotten about how tough he was on Toshiro when he grilled him over the family dinner.
"Watch me," said Karin as she turned to her father, smiling. "Tou-san, do you think you can bring out the family photo album? I think Rukia-nee would be very interested in seeing Ichi-nii's baby pictures."
"Kyaaa!" Isshin gave a fangirling squeal, standing up abruptly. "That's a great idea, my dear Karin! Let's go!"
"Oi! Stop it! Old Goat-chin, I swear you better stop this right now!" Ichigo pushed his chair back loudly, already getting on his feet, ready to chase after his father.
In the blink of an eye, only the three women were left sitting at the table. Still smirking, Karin raised her glass to her. Yuzu pressed the bowl of rice into her hands. She eagerly heaped curry on Rukia's plate, urging her to eat more.
"Welcome to the family, Rukia-nee."
Rukia gulped. She felt a little guilty as she smiled at Ichigo's sisters. It was all a lie of course, about how her being his girlfriend, about how Ichigo saved her from walking into oncoming traffic. But in this moment in time, Rukia allowed herself to pretend that it was all real, reasoning to herself that it was only to sell their story better. After all, the best lies are always the lies that fool even the liars themselves.
The spoonful of curry in her mouth tasted divine. It felt a bit like... what home used to feel like. Back when Hisana was there with her and Byakuya. She remembered curry nights in the Kuchiki household. The three of them sitting at the table for curry together— Hisana did the cooking while Byakuya and her took turns with the washing up.
She missed her sister and Byakuya. She missed the three of them being a family.
She missed sitting together with her family for a meal. Dinner on her own meant ready-made meals in front of the TV with Kon looking on enviously at her, or more specifically her plate of food. That reminded her that she should not stay over for too long. She still had to feed the dog.
Ichigo's family was crazy. His father especially, scared her. But they were warm people.
Rukia quietly swallowed her food. She was, she admitted reluctantly, a little jealous of Ichigo.
This warmth was addictive.
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Author's note:
总结一下，就是两只作天作地的(小笨蛋)小妖精在(谈恋爱)探案~~~
都已经见家长了，你猜怎么着？😏