X-X-X

Chapter 12

X-X-X

Shinji Ikari was the very definition of easily overlooked. He was slightly below average height, naturally timid, and carried himself with the shy posture of a preoccupied introvert.

Easily overlooked, however, did not mean that he wasn't there. People tended to forget his presence, but he still saw and heard everything around him - which often included things that people might not say if they realized they had an audience.

"Hey, Ikari. It's your turn, man."

Shinji blinked out of his reverie. Realizing he was still holding an empty soda can, he stood and tossed it into a nearby garbage can, landing the throw with absolute precision.

Kensuke gave a slow clap. "Not bad, Ikari. That's a solid seven meters on an underhand throw."

Shinji shook his head as he stood up and headed over the arcade console. "Don't read too much into it. NERV requires us to get near-perfect scores in Gym class, on top of… 'extracurricular' physical training." His smile was halfhearted and wry. "It's the only class they care about our performance in."

"Man, I wish Gym was the only class my dad cared about," Toji said wistfully. "I'd be a damn star child in his eyes."

My father wouldn't care if I won a goddamn gold medal in the Olympics. He didn't even thank me after that first battle. I'm nothing but a soldier to him.

Kensuke, meanwhile, was listening with rapt attention. "Man, Ikari," he said wistfully. "You're one lucky guy."

Shinji snorted as he stepped up to the console. "How do you figure that, Aida?" He muttered back. "I didn't ask to be their soldier. Soryu still calls me 'conscript' sometimes, and she's not wrong."

"But you're a hero!" Kensuke blurted out. "The rest of us can just play these damn video games and study fact sheets online, you actually get to pilot military hardware - the greatest of its time, no less!"

Shinji shook his head, wincing as if he'd bit into something bitter. "Not all it's made out to be, Aida," he said, his voice low. "Endless sync tests. Rigorous training. Battle wounds that cut just as deep as the real thing and leave you questioning your sanity when you can't see them afterwards -" he cut himself off, closing his eyes. "It's hard, and painful, and gruelling. Being a pilot sucks. I don't think anyone except Soryu actually likes it, and even she will admit it's a hefty weight on her shoulders."

"Huh? What about Ayanami, or that other hot European chick - Mari, I think her name was?"

The pilot didn't respond immediately - he was busy aiming the fake gun at animated villains on the arcade screen, scoring a streak of quick and efficient kills.

Center, brace, fire. Center, brace, fire. Center, brace, fire. It's no different from training, really. Pixelated bodies dropped like flies, and suddenly Shinji felt the impression of a bitter taste in his mouth. There's a lot less at stake here than in a real battle, though. Why would anyone want to simulate this for fun?

"Ikari? Hey, man, you okay?"

Shinji blinked, abruptly returning to himself. "I… sorry." He shook his head. "I got lost in thought for a moment there. What was the question?"

"I said, what about Ayanami or that English chick? Don't they like piloting?"

Shinji frowned, creasing his forehead in thought. "Miss Illustrious… has her own reasons for piloting, and I don't know what they might be. They could be as simple as concern for Soryu; those two are like sisters. But she might be after something completely different and I'd never know. She acts real friendly, but she's good at never actually saying a word about herself." A digital enemy got a lucky shot with an explosive weapon, and Shinji's avatar died; the young pilot passed the controller to Kensuke with a sigh. "Ayanami… I don't think Ayanami likes anything, except maybe pleasing my father. As far as I can tell, she only pilots because he tells her to, and because Project E is all there is to her life."

Toji laughed at Shinji's description. "Sounds like Ayanami, all right. That girl's cold as hell. Doesn't give more than two words to anyone."

Except Soryu, for some reason, Shinji mused. Most of their interactions end in one or both of them pissed off, and yet even that much is more interest than I've seen Ayanami show in anything except my father's orders. Not to mention the fact that Soryu keeps engaging with her, even approaching her directly from time to time, despite professing to hate her. I think there is likely more to their relationship than meets the eye.

"That's the other thing," Kensuke continued. "Not only do you get to work with top-secret mecha hardware, you also have three smoking hot babes as coworkers! And that doesn't even include Misato -"

"Okay, stop - stop right there," Shinji stammered, his face red. "First, Misato is literally twice my age, so that's incredibly creepy. Second, you said it yourself - the other three are my coworkers. While I can't deny they're attractive -" his blush deepened - "any relationship would be a recipe for disaster. And anyway, I wouldn't think any of them would find me… compatible, if you will."

"What? What do you mean, compatible? You're a guy and they're girls, what else is there?"

Shinji frowned. "What if I was gay?"

Kensuke blinked at that, and the distraction spelled the death of his video game self. To his credit, he recovered quickly. "Are you gay?"

"Well… no." At least, I don't think so. I definitely still like girls. I'll… address the rest of that equation later. "But there's no need to assume like that."

"… okay, fair. But if not, what's the problem?"

"For one thing, Miss Illustrious is gay, as well as being like seven years older than me," Shinji countered. "And like I said, Rei doesn't seem to like anything. I don't think anyone can reasonably carry on a relationship with someone who acts like you aren't even there half of the time."

Toji raised an eyebrow, although he didn't look away from the game console. "That leaves the red devil, right?"

Shinji blushed again, and Kensuke cackled with glee. "So you do have a crush! Hard luck, man - she's pretty, but got the personality of a demon incarnate."

"Pilot Soryu is a good person when you get to know her," Shinji defended stubbornly, "and she's a good soldier, too. Better than I am. I'm proud to have her as a commanding officer."

At his last words, Toji and Kensuke both whipped their heads around to look at him - the former at the expense of his digital self's life, but he paid it no mind.

Shit, did I say something wrong?

"What was that about a commanding officer?" Kensuke's look could only be described as hungry.

Shinji fought the urge to cringe at the sudden scrutiny, But stood strong. A soldier's gotta be able to keep his cool when under fire. "Soryu is now the squad leader of the pilot corps," Shinji said carefully. "As well as a second lieutenant. She was promoted for exemplary service in the battle with Gaghiel."

"Wow…" Kensuke had stars in his eyes. "Hey, do you think that means she has a higher security clearance than before? I bet she could find out all kinds of cool things! Hey, Ikari, do you think you could -"

"No." Shinji's voice hardened. "Not a chance."

"What?" Kensuke looked absolutely crestfallen. "But -"

"After your game with the camera on our first day of school, it'll be a cold day in hell before Soryu does anything on your behalf," Shinji said matter-of-factly. "But even if she would… don't pursue this, Aida. I'd thought that confiscating your camera after you were in an entry plug would teach you that NERV Black Ops take their information security very seriously."

"Information security?" Kensuke's voice was quizzical. "What do you mean?"

Shinji's expression remained serious, and Kensuke was somewhat taken aback. Shinji never pressed a point - it had even led to a reputation for being somewhat spineless. But here, now, he wasn't backing down.

"NERV is a clandestine organization," he said quietly, his eyes darting from side to side. "We answer only to the UN - and through a proxy committee, no less. We're funded more than any other military force in the world except possibly the United States Army. We work with alien superweapons. So, what do I mean by Information Security? I mean that I like you… and I don't want to see you and your family relocated to Okinawa at gunpoint in unmarked black vans."

Kensuke blinked, too shocked to respond. Even Toji, stoic and tough as he usually was, seemed a little pale. "You… you really think they'd do that?" The taller boy finally murmured.

Shinji scowled, looking back at the idle arcade screen. "At least that," he replied. "I don't want to say they might kill to stop security breaches… but I can't for certain say that they wouldn't, either."

"Damn." Kensuke shook his head, as if to clear it. "That… damn. That's rough."

"Easy enough from my point of view, actually," the pilot replied with a bitter smile. "I'm never really at risk of breaching security. After all, no one at NERV ever tells me anything."

X-X-X

"How're you holding up?"

Mari tapped her heel on the elevator floor nervously. "About as well as I can, I guess," she murmured back.

"That's all I can ask." Kaji's voice sounded apologetic, and Mari rolled her eyes, mentally counting down until - "hell, I'm sorry I talked you into this. It should have been -"

"Oh you knock that off," Mari interrupted sharply. "We're in this together, same as ever. And like you said, Gendo suspects you, and you're disposable - it'll be a bullet in the back for you if you're caught down here. But I've got a reputation for exploring weird hidey holes, and I'm a pilot. I might, y'know, make it out alive."

there was a soft sigh from the other end of the comm. "I guess you have a point," the spy conceded. "Still, I don't like asking other people to risk their lives for my conspiracy theories."

"It doesn't count as a conspiracy theory if the illuminati actually are out to take over the world," Mari chuckled.

"That's a fair point, I suppose," Kaji said, his voice even. "Three minutes until we lose radio contact, by the way.''

"Thanks." Mari grimaced as she looked around the tiny elevator for what felt like the hundredth time. "What kind of maniac even makes elevators that take sixteen minutes to descend, anyway?"

"Getting blueprints of NERV-J was like pulling teeth from a chicken… one that had been pre-emptively assassinated, in many cases. But I found some things. Among them was the fact that the bottom floor of the facility, this 'terminal dogma,' is just over two thousand meters below the bottom floor of central dogma."

Mari almost swallowed her tongue. "Two kilometers?! That's - that's -"

"Absurd, yeah. Two kilometers below the Eva cage floor. There are other floors between, too - none of them show up on the regular facility maps, and I don't even know where to start looking for access elevators. Some are probably uninhabited or used only for machinery. NERV-J headquarters is practically larger than Tokyo-3 itself."

Mari narrowed her eyes, staring at the elevator door. "So much space to hide secrets in," she murmured. "I guess I'm about to learn a few. Logically, the deepest floor contains the darkest secret, eh?"

"I hope so." Kaji was quiet for a moment. "Look… be careful down there. I don't for a minute believe that this 'LCL Production Plant' is as innocuous as that sounds."

"I will."

"And much as I'd like photos, don't get caught with a camera. That'll guarantee your death."

"Please, like you could stop me. I have a panic button setting on my phone anyway - if they catch me it'll be as if I never even turned it on down here."

"I guess I know better than to try and change your mind this late in the play." Mari could practically hear Kaji shaking his head. "I'm about to lose you. Please try to come back alive."

"And you'd better not get killed while I'm down here, either," Mari murmured back.

Whatever Kaji might have said in response never came, as the radio hissed and died a second later.

"Well, no turning back now," she murmured to herself, the soft sound lost in the whirring of the descending elevator.

X-X-X

Kensuke and Toji lived closer to the city center than Misato's apartment, and thus they could easily stay out longer than the pilot among them. As the afternoon approached evening, Shinji bade farewell to his friends and made for the rail stop.

However, about a block before he reached his destination, he was stopped by the sight of a tuft of cerulean hair.

Is that… Ayanami?

Shinji glanced back at the station, but decided it was worth missing a train for the chance to observe NERV's most elusive and eccentric pilot in the wild. There would be other trains.

As he approached, it became clear that it was definitely Rei he had seen - though he couldn't see the girl's eyes from behind, she was the right height and her uniformly colored hair was exactly the right shade.

And she's wearing a school uniform, too. Weird.

The girl looked for all the world like she was lost, constantly stopping short and looking at road signs. Shinji decided it was probably best to break the ice in some manner; cute though her confusion was, it was also rather pitiable.

"Ayanami?" He called out, approaching slowly. Despite Rei's quiet and deliberate manner, he was all too aware of how much strength was hidden in her small figure - and how short her reaction time could be under pressure.

The girl whirled, so quickly that Shinji almost didn't see her move at all. "... Pilot Ikari," she acknowledged, the near-whisper almost lost in the ambient city noise.

"Are you okay, Ayanami?" Shinji frowned - Rei's usual poised attentiveness seemed unusually lacking today. "I've never seen you around this part of town… do you live nearby?"

"No," the girl replied, but offered no further explanation. She simply stared at Shinji, expressionless as ever.

"… Then why are you out here?" Shinji managed, desperately trying not to let the conversation die. "Um, if you don't mind me asking."

"I seem to be lost." Shinji blinked at the bland admission. "It is likely I made a mistaken turn when leaving the school."

"What?!" The other pilot exclaimed. "You've been wandering around lost since school ended? How - couldn't you have called someone for help, or - or something?"

"Called someone for help?" Rei repeated blankly. She paused, and Shinji almost thought she had said all she intended to. Before he could interrupt, though, she spoke again: "The only phone number I know is Commander Ikari's."

Aren't you supposed to be his favorite? His replacement for his actual son? Shinji bit back the bitter sentiment. For all that she's his favorite, though, she doesn't think to call him when she needs help. I somehow doubt he's much of a father to her either.

Deciding to try a different tactic, Shinji shook his head. "Listen… can you get home if I bring you to a train stop?"

Rei's head might have tilted. "I do not usually make use of the urban light rail."

Guess that's a no. Shinji pinched the bridge of his nose. "Alright… what's your address?"

Rei rattled off a string of words that meant little to Shinji - it wasn't an area of town he was familiar with. He did, however, pick out 'west' in the street name.

The west side? It's practically a wasteland out there. Why would NERV stash their first pilot - and for a while, their only pilot - out there? And if I'm not mistaken, she lives alone, too…

"I bet I can get you there," Shinji said aloud. "I know the rail routes pretty well, and the stations have maps. Come on, let's get you home."

No need to tell her that I know them because I tend to get on loop trains and sit for hours when I can't handle the stress of being a pilot…

He opened his phone, typing out a text message to Misato to tell her he would be late coming home. That done, he started walking towards the train station, with the other pilot wordlessly trailing behind him.

X-X-X

"Asuka? Shinji's going to be late home, so he can't cook dinner."

Asuka slid open her bedroom door and pushed past Misato in the same motion, a backpack already packed and slung over one shoulder. "Sucks to be you, then, because I'm heading out."

Misato stared after her, bemused. "What?"

"I'm staying the night at Hikari's. See you tomorrow evening."

For a moment, Misato was too taken aback to respond, but she managed to recover before Asuka made it to the door. "You have noon sync tests on Saturday!" She called.

Asuka stopped short with her hand on the door panel, then sagged slightly. "See you tomorrow at noon, then." She stepped out the door without another word.

A scant second later, and Misato's phone buzzed. Frowning, she pulled it out and opened the notification screen.

[Shinji-kun]: I'm going to be home late. Something came up.

"Something came up?" Misato repeated aloud. "That's all he has to say for himself? When did Shinji grow a spine, anyway?"

X-X-X

[Conscript]: Hey, Soryu. You've been to Ayanami's house before, right?

[Ace Pilot]: ...yeah. Why do you want to know?

[Conscript]: How would you describe her general living conditions?

[Ace Pilot]: Why?

[Conscript]: Would you accept "because I want to know?"

[Ace Pilot]: Yeah, no. Nice try.

[Ace Pilot]: Is there a point to all this? I was about to beat Hikari in smash 1v1.

[Conscript]: Alright.

[Conscript]: Did it look anything like this?

- [Conscript] (Ikari Shinji) has attached an image file! -

[Ace Pilot]: ... Oh. I didn't realize you were actually THERE.

[Ace Pilot]: Honestly, if anything, it looked even worse when I visited. At least she's had the wherewithal to clean up the bloody bandages since then.

[Conscript]: Bloody bandages?!

[Conscript]: Soryu, this is sick. How can they treat a pilot like this? She doesn't even have hot water!

[Ace Pilot]: I know, I know. I freaked out when I saw it too. But, Gott im Himmel, don't do anything rash.

[Conscript]: Rash?! She's living in a ruin! An Evangelion pilot, one of us elite guardians of the human race, has a concrete box to call home!

[Ace Pilot]: And you think NERV - all-powerful, all-knowing NERV - did that by accident?

[Ace Pilot]: Your silence speaks volumes.

[Conscript]: Why the fuck would the Commander do that on purpose? Rei is his golden child, his replacement for his ACTUAL offspring.

[Conscript]: Why would he mistreat the only person he seems to care about?

[Ace Pilot]: I don't think care is quite the word you're looking for, Shinji.

[Ace Pilot]: He pays attention to her, yeah, but he's the furthest thing from fatherly.

[Conscript]: Look, whatever. That's not the point.

[Conscript]: If the Commander could do that to one pilot, he could do it to any of us.

[Conscript]: He was going to stash me alone in some crummy apartment when I first moved here until Misato intervened.

[Conscript]: This isn't okay, Soryu!

[Ace Pilot]: And what would you have ME do about it? You said it yourself. We're just cogs in the wheels, Shinji.

[Conscript]: Misato could do something, couldn't she? She wouldn't stand for this if she knew.

[Conscript]: ... She doesn't know, right?

[Ace Pilot]: I don't think so.

[Ace Pilot]: You're right that she wouldn't stand for it, which is why I didn't tell her when I found out myself.

[Ace Pilot]: I've been sitting on this because, news flash, NERV is practically the fucking Illuminati with how much cloak and dagger skullduggery goes on there.

[Ace Pilot]: I didn't think I could risk bringing this to light. I wouldn't put it past the Commander to silence a pilot, even his best pilot.

[Conscript]: But if we can get two pilots and the Ops Director on our side, that might be a different story?

[Ace Pilot]: Might be, yeah.

[Ace Pilot]: Mari can be trusted, too. And there's someone else I want to tell about this, in case Commander Arschloch tries to shut us up anyway.

[Ace Pilot]: We need to talk about this. Soon.

[Conscript]: That would be easier if you weren't with Horaki-san right now.

[Ace Pilot]: You're not the only one with friends, Shinji. Bite me.

[Ace Pilot]: Hikari is a lovely girl who doesn't deserve to be sidelined because of a little internal affairs corruption.

[Ace Pilot]: Speaking of, I've kept her waiting long enough. Got to go.

[Conscript]: Fuck. Alright, I guess. See you tomorrow.

[Ace Pilot]: Yeah, you will.

[Ace Pilot]: Oh, and you'd better delete these messages. Break or destroy the phone, too, if you can come up with an excuse for it. They'll give you another one. 'Accidentally' dropping it in the cogs of the cage machinery will do nicely.

[Conscript]: What?! Why?

[Ace Pilot]: You're discussing a minor conspiracy against NERV command, on a NERV-issued phone. You figure it out, dummkopf.

[Ace Pilot]: Bye.

[Conscript]: Soryu, wait!

[Conscript]: Soryu? You there?

[Conscript]: Dammit.

X-X-X

Hikari looked up as Asuka walked back into her bedroom. "Done?"

"Yeah." Asuka sank back into the couch with a soft sigh, sliding into place beside her friend. "Sorry. Pilot stuff."

Hikari gave Asuka a concerned look, quirking an eyebrow. "Sure you want to go for another round of Smash? You look tired; we could stop if -"

"No. I'm good." Asuka folded her arms, recoiling from the perceived slight. "They wouldn't have made me a pilot if I couldn't handle the hard bits."

"Asuka." Hikari put her hand on the German girl's shoulder, and felt her stiffen under the touch. "Don't push yourself too hard. You're already a war hero. We all know the kind of battles you have to fight - hell, we saw how much the last angel hurt you. You don't need to prove anything to me."

War hero, huh? Poor, sweet Hikari. You have no idea what NERV is really like - hell, none of us really do, except maybe Kaji. There's nothing heroic about the dirt me and Shinji are digging in.

Asuka took a deep breath, straightening her back and shrugging off Hikari's hand. "One more round." She reached for the remote.

"You always win anyway."

"I said, one more -" Asuka stopped mid-sentence as she realized she was growling. "Please?"

Apparently, it was good enough for Hikari, because she smiled and nodded. "One more round it is."

X-X-X