CHAPTER 12: Loss of control
"There are moments in life when it is all turned inside out. What is real becomes unreal and what is unreal becomes tangible."
For several hours, Nii found herself working over the Avatar monk named Aang.
It had been some time since the moon had replaced the sun in the sky, and now the room was only lit by a few flickering candles that cast long dancing shadows around them as if fighting to hold off the black of night.
Kneeling beside him, her hands still hovered above his prone form.
She sighed out.
Despite her years of training and expertise, she could not shake the feeling of unease that gnawed at her heart. She had healed countless people in her lifetime, drawing upon the ancient arts passed down by the gurus and elders of the village, but never in her life had she encountered an Airbender before.
A being so deeply attuned to the universe that his very essence seemed to defy explanation.
With a furrowed brow, Nii closed her eyes and reached out her senses once more to connect with the energy that pulsed through Aang's body. Yet instead of the familiar currents she was accustomed to, she found herself grappling with a swirling tempest of air, elusive and unpredictable.
She felt her hands trembling slightly, as she once more attempted to channel the energy, but it seemed to dissipate into the ether, unable to find purchase within the turbulent winds that enveloped Aang's spirit.
Frustration welled up within her again, a sense of inadequacy threatening to overwhelm her resolve.
"Where've you gone, Aang?" she whispered out into the silence of the night.
With reverent hands, she traced the blue markings on his skin, her fingertips barely grazing his arrow tattoos. She could feel the energy pulsating beneath the surface, a current of power that seemed to flow from the arrows themselves.
And it was not just the beauty of the arrows that captivated her.
It was the significance they held and the precision with which they had been applied that spoke of a deep understanding of energy and balance, a harmony that resonated with her own healing practices.
In that moment, Nii felt a profound sense of admiration for Aang and his path in life as the last Airbender. As the Avatar.
She wondered what that must be like.
With a gentle smile, she offered a silent blessing, channeling her own healing energy to complement the power of the arrows.
In her eyes, Aang was not just another patient to heal.
He was a beacon of hope and a symbol of resilience in the face of adversity.
And as she rose to her feet, looking down upon this mystical being on the floor before her, she felt a surge of heat like lava flowing from the bottom of her spine and upwards, a newfound assurance beating like a drum inside of her, guiding her on in her work.
Nii started chanting again, focusing all of her attention into the arrows on the Airbender's skin, humming, trilling, purring and clicking her tongue as to call upon all of the spirits to help her wave her way with the energy of his body.
She was thrilled to see his body move with her again, and she started moving her body too, dancing around him, twisting and twirling her limbs as if she could awaken his body by moving hers.
She felt fluid as she glided across the dusty floor below her, channeling the movements of an Airbender, and her bare feet barely touched the ground while she arched her arms gracefully, tracing invisible patterns in the air as she twirled and spun with effortless elegance.
She felt a tickling sensation at the top of her head and a giggle escaped her lips, as she felt her crown chakra open, the white light of Sahasrara flowing freely when she opened her palms to receive divine energy from above.
And as before, Aang's body responded well to her channeling of this energy merge with the self and universal consciousness. Nii felt like their breathing synchronized, while their bodies seemed to move in a dance of union.
She could not help but to notice his beauty as he moved with her, and she remembered the many times that she had marveled at the female statues of the Air Nomads here in the temple as a child. They had been an inspiration for her own connection with the Spirit World.
Nii felt the energy cascading down from the top of her head to the point between her eyebrows, as Ajna, the third eye chakra, revealed its purple light for her, and she gently gestured towards her forehead between her chants, as her movements dove into a seamless flow, following the intuitive impulses that arose from whiting her.
Again, Aang's body and breath followed her fluidity and grace, and Nii felt wise and powerful as she seemed to easily navigate through unseen realms with him, with the Avatar himself.
His breathing was deeper now, and she soon heard his voice following the release of his exhales, as something close to a humming or murmuring sound escaped his throat while his chest moved up and down.
"Yeah, this way…" she hissed into the silent night.
She realized that he had already moved further down to the throat chakra, and she closed her eyes and connected with her own Vishudda, and soon the color blue filled the room and flowed in and out of their bodies as an exchange of authentic and creative self-expression.
Nii felt her hands communicating wildly now and her movements became more bold and expansive, as she felt a sense of empowerment and freedom, allowing her voice to express her inner truth as she chanted along with Aang's movements.
This time he seemed to surrender a bit more, or maybe she was surrendering to him, as the sound of his voice became clearer with every exhale, and in her chant she told his spirit to let go of all inhibitions and allow his true inner voice to shine through.
Suddenly, rapid visions flashed before her eyes.
A black haired man shooting fire from his mouth. Burning forests. Destruction. Faces whispering "kill." A lion turtle in the sea. A red color almost overpowering a light blue one. White arrows. Wild, untamed, raw power. Fire, earth, water, air, together.
She had never experienced so much power, vitality and loss of control in her life.
Even though she did not care to admit it, some small part of her being felt scared in this encounter.
Nii heard her breathing becoming staggered, and she forced herself to open her eyes, as she struggled to regain control of her breath.
Aang's body was moving in big waves, his chest rising and falling, while his hips were thrusting up and down. His breathing had become quick now, and Nii felt a sense of both fear, mystery and intrigue that seemed to draw her into his hypnotic rhythm.
She tried to steady herself in her dance, and she pulled in her arms to lay her hands upon her chest, at the center of the heart chakra. She knew that she had to open herself to the fear that was crawling near her, but it was hard.
She felt her hair flow over her skin like silk, as she danced in circles, the emerald green color of Anahata seeping through the cracks in the walls, and she felt tears wetting her cheeks as Aang released a sound from his lips that reminded her of the deepest sorrow that she had ever encountered in her life.
Their movements soon grew wilder and untamed as she tried connecting with both her own and his heart energy, chanting wildly, spinning, breathing.
More images flashed for her eyes.
The faces of Katara, Zuko, Sokka, Toph, Appa and a lemur. Airbender children, monks. Dried bones and a skull. Fire Nation armor. A necklace with the Air symbol. Deep sensations of isolation, loss of control. Lightening and thundering waves. Growing dark shadows.
Nii opened her eyes again, and she sucked in a hard breath.
In a way she knew that she was losing control, but she also had a gnawing sensation that grew from the pits of her stomach that she had to carry on, and she looked down at Aang's body that was still moving in big waves, like a roaring sea in the middle of a thunderstorm.
They were still connected.
She let her hands fall to the chakra in upper abdomen at her solar plexus, trying to connect with her Manipura. With each step she took, she began pounding the earth beneath her with her bare feet, while her body twisted and contorted in an untamed frenzy of raw energy. It was as if the air around her crackled with yellow electricity, charged with the energy of her fervent movements.
She moved with purpose as if grounding herself more and more with the sense of inner strength and capacity.
She wanted to do this.
Nii soon sat down next to Aang, who was still moving wildly on the floor, and she soon started moving her spine in circle motions, calling forth the power of the two lower chakras.
She waved her hands above his body, and she sensed the energy inside of him pumping in a frenzy. In gliding movements, she tried to manipulate his energy into traveling further down his spine, near the orange color of his sacral chakra in his lower abdomen.
She had not come this far with him before, and it made her curl her lips.
His movements became spontaneous and uninhibited, as she connected with her own Svadhistana just below her navel, and just for a short moment, she felt a primal urge explode inside of her abdomen, igniting her senses, as if every nerve ending inside of her was on fire, tingling with anticipation.
She felt her heart pound in her chest like a drumbeat of desire, and just for a second, lust seemed to infiltrate her mind as she inhaled deeply while looking at Aang next to her.
It was as if she could smell a tantalizing scent coming off of his skin, and it made her want to touch him.
Even though she knew that she should not, it was as if the potent feeling eclipsed her thoughts, and without being able to stop herself, she reached her hand over to satisfy her craving.
Just as her fingertips grazed his skin, a fire exploded inside of her, causing her eyes to fly open, and she widened her eyes as she watched his body stop its movement, and Aang's eyes opened too, a radiant white light of the cosmos shining from them.
The air seemed to crackle around them with energy, and Nii felt fear shooting up from the pits of her stomach as she watched the white light from his eyes spread down his arrows, before Aang sat up straight in a rapid movement and looked at her with an angry expression across his face.
With a quick gesture of his hand, Aang took hold of her arm, causing her to winch out in pain by the strength of his grip.
He was looking at her with furrowed brows and an angry crease between them. His white eyes were narrowed into sharp slits and they had a laser-like intensity, piercing through her with an almost predatory intensity, a silent warning.
"No," he said in a deep and commanding resonance, a collective voice carrying the echoes of the elements themselves and all the Avatars before him.
And without warning, she traveled to the Spirit World with him.