A/N: Enjoy!
gymmie2012: honestly don't understand why Martha chose JJ over Jordyn.
flyhigh: fuming that they left the reigning AA champ at home for a glorified beam specialist
jtluher82: who knew being the visual representation of a rich American teenager could buy your way onto an Olympic team?
The comments had been rolling through her Twitter feed with such ferocity that by the time she was nearly due to leave for camp, she had disabled all notifications and completely ignored the app altogether.
But curiosity had got the better of her. And that was how she found herself where she was sitting now.
Trawling through the depths of the online gymnastics community, wondering what else people had to say about her inclusion on the Olympic team, she was the internet's equivalent of being neck deep in her search. Her Tumblr tag had been close to the worst, unearthing an abundance of fans who were clearly less than impressed that she was on the team.
tkatchevmeifyoucan – so let's review the wack decisions Martha made with the team. She left JORDYN FUCKING WIEBER, the REIGNING WORLD AA CHAMPION, off the team in favour of Jennifer Jareau… the world's most glorified beam specialist. And don't even try to argue with me that it wasn't JJ who replaced Jordyn because it absolutely was, and let me explain why. Gabby and Aly were always going as all-arounders. Kyla and McKayla are not going to be used as all-arounders in any sense of the word, so that leaves JJ as the third all-arounder. A spot which SHOULD have been Jordyn's. I'm fuming. Fuming. JJ might be a good gymnast but Martha is delusional if she thinks she can outscore Jordyn as an all-arounder, she couldn't even outscore her at Nationals! If they fall short of team gold, I'm absolutely pinning it on this decision.
mustys-eyeshadow – sorry not sorry but I'm never going to stop being angry that JJ is going to the Olympics instead of Jordyn
gigigienger – all JJ is good for on that team is being eye candy. Let's be real, most guys watching the Games are only going to be thinking about bending her over a balance beam, not what she can do on it
Slamming her laptop shut, she squeezed her eyes closed. Her stomach was churning, mostly with anxiety. As if by their own accord, her hands curled into tightly clenched fists.
Where did people get off thinking they could talk about her like that? She clenched her jaw tightly, trying to force the image of the words out of her brain. '…only going to be thinking about bending her over a balance beam…'. What sort of disgusting comment even was that? She wasn't some sex object… the fact that people would even think of her like that made her stomach roll terribly. Even if she was sexually active… that was her business. No-one else's.
Did people really hate her that much? Was she going to go to the Olympics as the most hated member of the U.S. Olympic Team? Had Martha actually made the right decision? Surely she was going to change her mind at the camp and put Jordyn on the team.
"JJ! If you want a ride to training, we need to leave now!" her mother called from downstairs, breaking her from her rage filled train of thought. Swallowing hard, she took a deep breath, before hopping up from her desk chair and grabbing her gym bag off the floor.
"Coming!"
She flipped seamlessly across the beam, her feet making a resounding thud with every impact. Punching hard out of her second flip, she whipped her shoulders around for a full twist… but when her feet came down miles away from the surface of the beam, her heart leapt into her throat.
Seconds later she was lying on her back beneath the beam, staring up at the ceiling as she rubbed her elbow. It had happened so quickly that she didn't register hitting it on the apparatus, but judging by how much it was hurting right now, she knew she must have.
"I hope you don't do that at the Olympics," Nick teased lightly from a few feet away where he was leaning on a stack of foam blocks.
Almost immediately, her somewhat dazed expression was replaced with irritation as she pulled herself to her feet. Without a word or even a second glance at Nick, she pulled herself back up onto the beam.
"Do it again, remember to visualize the line of the beam and keep your body over it," Nick instructed calmly.
"I know," JJ snapped back. She took no notice of the surprised expression that crossed Nick's face, but he just as quickly shook it off.
She swung down, launching herself backwards again. This time, she managed to land the skill on top of the beam, however, not without a huge balance check.
"Stop doubting yourself on every landing. You were right on there and then you second guessed yourself. Just hammer it home," Nick called out encouragingly.
"I'm trying!" JJ said angrily. Nick frowned, clearly not appreciating her tone, but for the moment, he stayed quiet.
She walked back to the end of the beam, setting herself up to try it one more time. When her feet were set, she lifted her arms over her head before swinging them back. Her flips were strong, and the layout full landed much cleaner than the last attempt.
"Much better," Nick said with a clap, pushing off the blocks. "Let's move to bars"
Huffing in frustration, JJ jumped down from the beam, swiping her grips bag off the floor and following Nick as he strode across the carpeted floor to the uneven bars.
"Get your grips on and I'll start chalking for you," he called over his shoulder. JJ scowled, sitting down at the edge of the floor and ripping her grips out of their canvas bag, an action which didn't go unnoticed by Nick.
"What's up with you kiddo? Someone steal your happy pills?" Nick called from the bars, some sort of a grin gracing his face. JJ rolled her eyes, rolling prewrap around her wrists to protect them from chaffing.
"JJ, I get maybe today's just a crappy day, but you were fine this morning, so I'd appreciate it if you would drop the attitude," Nick said, his voice much firmer than before.
"I don't want to do bars today," she grumbled, throwing her grips bag aside when it got in the way of her prep.
"Funnily enough, they're not my favourite to work with you on either because you tend to land on top of me a lot, but it's tough luck because you're going to be in the team final lineup and I really need you to just stay on," Nick said, lightening his tone again in an attempt to win her over.
"Well they can put Aly up seeing as she's a better all-arounder than me anyway!" JJ spat.
"What are you… you know what, never mind," Nick said in exasperation, throwing the block of chalk he was using back into the bucket. "I'm not in the mood to deal with this crap today JJ, so I'm going to go to the office and do something more productive while you sit out here and get this ten year old tantrum out of your system. When you're ready to behave like a seventeen year old and cooperate with me, you can come and get me"
JJ watched through a scowl as he stalked back across the floor towards the foyer. When the slam of the office door rang through the building, she turned back to face the bars.
She wasn't really angry at Nick. How could she be mad at the man who was perpetually in a good mood every morning when he walked into the gym? But the comments from earlier had stung deeper than she'd expected, and the self doubt and frustration had crept back in. She hadn't meant to take it out on him, but somehow… that was what had happened.
Heaving a sigh, she slowly pulled her sweatbands onto her wrists, settling them into place. Once she was happy with them, she pulled her grips on one at a time, buckling them securely around her wrists.
It took a few more minutes before she had them ready to practice, but as she looked up at the bars, her shoulders sagged in defeat.
She didn't want to get up and do anything. But she also didn't want to go and get Nick from the office… her pride was too much for that. She knew she owed him an apology, but it could come later.
She sat there for a few minutes, her face resting in a sulky frown, before she finally got to her feet and walked over to the apparatus. A glance up told her Nick had chalked the high bar for her, but not the low bar. She shrugged it off – she would just have to practice her release moves for now. It was too hard to chalk the bar in grips, and she couldn't be bothered taking the hand straps off again.
Dipping her hands into the chalk bowl, she covered her hands and grips in the white powder, topping it off with a spray of water to set it like a paste.
Once she was satisfied, she walked beneath the bars, jumping up as high as she could and grasping onto the high bar. A few empty swings generated enough momentum for her to cast up into a handstand.
She immediately swung down, arching her body through the position required for a Tkatchev, before flicking up and releasing the bar.
Her fingertips just grazed it on the other side, sending her crashing to her knees on the crash mat.
With an angry punch into the mat, she pulled herself to her feet. Without even bothering to rechalk her grips, she jumped up and grasped the bar again, frustration coursing through her as she pulled herself to handstand atop the bar. She swung down, releasing the bar and soaring over it, but once again, she missed it. This time, her hands were well clear of the bar as she came crashing to the floor.
Screwing up her face in frustration, she got up, hastily using a nearby block of chalk to recoat her grips, before casting it aside and jumping up again.
She attempted it again, but her heart and her mind were battling against her. With a feeble scrape across the top of the bar, she slid off, hitting the mat with a thump.
Angrily punching the mat again, she undid the buckles on her grips, wrenching them off her hands and throwing them away. Hot tears were spilling down her cheeks, dripping down onto the vinyl mat surface beneath her in little puddles.
With a heaving breath she didn't know she'd been holding, the deluge came, her shoulders shaking as she brought a chalky hand up to her face to try and stifle the sobs. It was futile; the tears were coming whether she wanted them or not.
"What's the matter, JJ?" came Nick's voice, much gentler than before. His soft demeanor and the kindness behind his words were enough to send the real reason she'd been acting out rattling up her throat like vomit.
"No-one wants me on this team," she sobbed, her voice harsh behind her tears. "Everyone thinks I stole a place from Jordyn and that she should be the one going to London, not me"
"JJ…," Nick said softly.
"To them I'm just a glorified beam specialist who can't do shit as an all-arounder, and to some people, I'm just the eye candy who every guy is going to want to bend over a balance beam," she spat. Nick winced at the last comment, taking a deep breath as he closed his eyes.
"JJ… you can't read what people say online. The couch gymnasts of the world don't know what goes on behind Martha's decision making, you can't put any stock into what they say"
"But what if they're right?" JJ cried, pulling herself to her feet as more tears cascaded down her cheeks. "What if I go to London and completely headcase, what are they going to say then?"
"You can't worry about it," Nick reminded her gently, holding out a hand to steady her. "Your job is to come in here every day and do the work required of you, and repeat the motions in competition. Nothing else. I don't want you reading anything online JJ, because none of it is true. You earned that spot. If it came at the expense of Jordyn, well, that sucks, but so be it. You proved that you were the right fit for Martha's team and if that's not good enough for Jordyn's rabid fans, then tough"
JJ drew in a shuddering breath, her eyes cast down to the floor as she hugged herself tightly beneath the bars.
"You are a good gymnast, JJ, hell, you have the potential to be great. Not that you aren't already, but I know you can do even more one day. I just really need you to believe in yourself for once… it's getting really tiring carrying enough faith for both of us," Nick said, walking towards her and placing a hand on her shoulder. "Just promise me you won't read anything else people put online, ok? There will always be people wanting to pull you down, but all you can do is hold your head up high and go out and prove them wrong"
JJ nodded weakly, sniffing as Nick pulled her into a hug.
After a few moments, he pulled away, watching her closely as she bent down to pick up the grips she'd thrown away before. And then one of the comments she'd made resounded in his head.
"Did… did someone really say that? About you and a balance beam?" he asked almost timidly. JJ looked up, only nodding sadly.
"God people are disgusting," he muttered, shaking his head in disbelief. "Seriously don't listen to those comments. Not worth giving them the time of day"
Nodding again, JJ slipped her grips back onto her wrists, taking a deep breath to settle herself as she wiped her cheeks with the back of her hand.
"C'mon kiddo… let's get this bars routine whipped into shape"