A/N: Itching to get back into competition chapters!

Before she knew what had hit her, it was the middle of April, and they were celebrating Will's 19th birthday. It had been a good night, with family and friends there to make his day all the more special. Well into the early hours of the morning, they were now getting ready to crawl into bed, having bid goodbye to Will's closest friends and family.

Hearing a noise, JJ looked up from where she was sitting on the edge of Will's bed as he came into the room. Smiling, she got up, slowly walking over to him.

"Did you have a good day?" she asked softly, snaking her arms up around his neck.

"Yeah, it was alright," he said gruffly, loosely wrapping an arm around her waist. JJ frowned; suddenly he seemed annoyed about something.

"Just alright?" she asked teasingly, stretching up so she was a little closer to his face. "I could make it even better for you"

"Where was all this today?" Will asked, frowning down at her as he slowly pulled away. JJ's face fell, her brow furrowing.

"I don't… what do you-"

"You do know what I mean, JJ," he said flatly. "All the time. Every time I try to touch you in front of other people, even if it's just a hand on your back, or holding your hand, you just pull away from me! Every single time I came near you tonight, I could feel you pulling away. And god forbid I try and kiss you, even on the cheek! I just don't understand it, JJ, I mean… we've had sex! How can you be so uncomfortable with me touching you and yet we've had sex?"

"What do you want from me, Will, you wanna have sex in front of other people?"

"Christ JJ, no! I just want to feel like you actually want to be with me and not feel like you're ashamed of being with me every time someone walks into a room we're in!"

JJ's eyes burned with tears. "You know this is hard for me-"

"I know! But it's been six months, JJ… I honestly don't think I can carry on with this relationship if it's going to stay like this!"

"See! I shouldn't be in a relationship, I'm too weird about everything!"

"No, that's not what I'm saying, JJ… I want to be able to show people that I love you. I don't want to walk around wondering if I make you uncomfortable, or constantly withholding affection because I'm not sure how you'll react. It's not a dirty thing to be able to do"

"I know," JJ breathed, her eyes swimming with tears. Will let out a huff, walking over to his dresser and searching for his pyjamas.

"You might know it, but I don't think you understand it," he said quietly.

JJ watched him for a moment, silently trying to stem her tears, before she slowly turned towards his bedroom door.

"Where are you going?"

She turned back to face him, wiping away a few more tears as she did. "Home"

Will shook his head. "Please don't do that"

"Why shouldn't I? I just make you upset anyway," JJ replied.

"It's late," Will said softly. "And it's kinda cold outside. I… shit, JJ, I'm kinda upset, yeah, but I'm not an asshole. You can still stay here"

She froze for a moment, considering whether she was going to take him up on it, but eventually, she realised just how tired she was. She stayed silent while she changed her clothes, eventually sliding under the covers beside him and turning on her side to face away from him. She had never wanted to make him feel bad. She loved him, and she loved the way he made her feel… but she could never shake the feeling that people would judge her for being affectionate in public. That people would see it as weird, or gross, or even make fun of her for being affectionate.

She was pulled from her thoughts by a warm hand closing around hers. Looking back over her shoulder, she could see that Will was lying on his back, his face tipped away from her. But his hand was on hers.

When she opened her eyes the next morning, she found herself staring at the empty space next to her. The bed was cold, meaning Will had been up for a while.

She wondered if he was still upset. The previous night had been the first time she'd ever seen him so pissed off, and she hated that she was the one who had made him feel that way. Of course, she hadn't meant to. But she had to make it right somehow. And she had to do something about her insecurities, or it was just going to push them apart.

Slowly, she pulled herself up and threw back the covers. Reaching into her bag, she pulled out her leggings and a hoodie. She quickly changed out of her sleep clothes, before tugging the hoodie over her head as she walked out of the room.

Downstairs, she found Will in the kitchen, standing in front of the coffee machine waiting for it to finish brewing. Janine and William were sitting at the table, William reading his paper like he did every morning, while Janine tapped away at her computer.

None of them had seen her come in, so she slowly walked over to Will. Her heart seemed to race as she realised how close William and Janine were to them, but she had to at least try to make things right.

Sidling up beside him, she looped her arms around his waist. He turned his head, looking down at her, and she took the opportunity to stretch up and give him a quick kiss.

"Hey," she said softly as he slid his cup under the spout of the coffee machine.

"Hey," he said quietly, but JJ could hear immediately in his voice that he was still mad. This was proven when he pulled away from her, leaving her standing alone by the coffee machine. For a moment, she stood still, but then she turned also, following him out into the hallway.

"Will," she said softly, grabbing his hand and stopping him in his tracks. He sighed, turning around to face her, his face set in stone.

"I'm sorry," she said softly, still holding his hand. "I… I just always feel like I'm being watched, or judged, just for being close to you, and I know that's not fair on you… I'm really going to try… I promise"

Will let out a heavy breath. "I know… but last night… it kinda hurt, JJ. I'm so proud and so happy to be with you… and I felt like you were ashamed of me"

And with that, he turned away from her, disappearing around the corner and leaving her to mull over his words.

She felt deflated when she arrived home later that morning. Closing the front door behind her with a loud thump, she slung her backpack a little higher on her shoulder and started towards the stairs.

"JJ, is that you?" came her mother's voice from the office.

"Yeah"

"How was the rest of the night after we left? Did Will have a good time?"

Looking up as her mom came to stand in the office doorway, JJ managed a smile. "Yeah, he had a good time"

Sandy paused for a moment, taking off her glasses as she studied her daughter. After a few moments silence, she shifted, leaning against the doorframe. "Is everything ok?"

JJ dropped her gaze, taking a deep breath. As always, her mom had seen straight through her attempted façade. Chewing nervously on her lip, she looked up again, shifting her weight as she lifted a hand to the end of the banister. "Will and I had a fight"

Sandy's face softened, her eyebrows furrowing in concern. "What about?"

"He… he was upset because I always pull away from him if he tries to hold my hand or kiss me in front of other people. And I know… I know I do it, but I can't help it. I didn't want to upset him though," JJ said softly. "He said he feels like I'm ashamed to be with him, but I'm not"

Sandy let out a sigh, taking a step forwards. With a gentle touch, she wrapped an arm around JJ's shoulders and began to guide her into the kitchen. "Honestly, I've noticed you do that as well"

"I don't mean to, it's just… it just happens," JJ said, her voice now carrying the weight of how defeated she felt as she dropped her backpack by the door and slid up onto a counter stool.

"Does he make you uncomfortable?" Sandy asked, turning towards the coffee machine and grabbing two mugs from the cabinet above it.

"No, I just… I feel weird being all touchy feely in front of other people," JJ admitted. "It feels like… like I'm being watched"

Sitting a mug under the machine, Sandy turned back to JJ and leant against the counter, giving her daughter a gentle smile. "You've grown up so sheltered from the more normal parts of life because of gymnastics that I'm not surprised you have a little bit of insecurity when it comes to things like this. And I know it's easier said than done… but believe me when I say it really is ok to be affectionate, even if there's other people around. A kiss, a hug, holding hands, they're all ok. No-one is going to judge you. If anything, people will just think it's sweet, because the two of you are a cute couple"

JJ managed a small smile, watching as her mom turned to grab the mug of coffee from the machine. Sandy slid it in front of her, leaving JJ to add sugar and milk as she put the second mug under the spout.

"I didn't mean to make him feel bad. And I tried to explain that, but… he was really upset about it. I could tell," JJ said softly.

"You just need to talk to him. Tell him how you feel. Relationships can't go anywhere if you don't communicate. And then the two of you can work together to overcome it," Sandy said with a warm smile. "You just need to make sure Will knows how you feel. He can't read your mind, and if you don't tell him and you just keep avoiding his touch, he's going to get upset like he did last night because he gets the wrong idea"

Letting out a sigh, JJ nodded, taking a sip of her coffee.

"Guess I'm still figuring out all this relationship stuff," she said softly. Sandy chuckled.

"Honey, your dad and I have been married for thirty years and some days, we're still figuring it out too"