"Brumous"

"Chapter Fifteen: Walburga and the Horcruxes"

Harry couldn't keep the smile off his lips as his fingers tangled in Ginny's silky hair, her lips brushing against his. Kissing Ginny was better than firewhiskey, better than anything he had ever experienced before in his life. Her touch shot fireworks through his nerve endings, caused the hair to stand up on his arms, and spread a warmth to flood his chest.

Her lips were soft and sticky from her lip-gloss, tasting of strawberries. Harry could spend all day kissing her without ever growing tired. She stirred feelings and emotions in him that he didn't even think were possible to feel. Certainly, Cho had never made him feel so calm and happy. In fact, when she had kissed him, he had winced and waited for it to be over with because he didn't even know if he was doing it correctly. But with Ginny? There was no anxiety or nervousness. It was as though his body knew exactly what to do.

Merlin.

If there was a paradise on earth, then it would certainly consist of being pressed close to Ginny Weasley at all hours of the day. Her soft hands brushing against his skin, her lips exploring his, her practically sitting on his lap and applying just the right amount of pressure that sent his body into pure bliss.

Harry pulled back, Ginny's hot breath tickling his chin. He looked into her sparkling brown eyes and just felt content. It was something he couldn't ever remember feeling before. There always seemed to be a crisis or an odd pressure on his chest. But when it was just the two of them, there was nothing but complete and utter bliss that engulfed him. Ginny smiled at him, her lips capturing his again in another mind-spinning kiss.

A knock sounded and Harry jerked his head back, not wanting anyone to catch him snogging Ginny in his bed. He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand to get the sticky lip-gloss off his lips. His eyes snapped to the door as he waved his hand to indicate that Ginny needed to get off him and he then proceeded to put more than enough space between them. Ginny shot him a look and he only shrugged at her.

"Come in!" Harry said in a rush, his voice breathless from kissing Ginny for what could have been a few minutes to quite possibly a few hours. Time stood still when he was wrapped up in Ginny's arms.

The door opened all the way to reveal Sirius. He leaned against the frame, his arms crossing over his chest as a grin spread across his lips.

"Having fun?" Sirius asked.

Harry swallowed. "What? N-no! We were just, err, talking."

Sirius raised his eyebrows. "Is that what they call it these days?"

Ginny huffed. "Is there something wrong?"

Sirius shook his head. "Nah, I just wanted to see if Harry wanted to stop by Godric's Manor for a bit."

Harry snapped his attention to his godfather, his brows furrowing. It wasn't time for another Order of the Phoenix meeting. He didn't know he'd be allowed to go there randomly and for no reason.

"Really?" Harry asked.

Sirius nodded. "Andromeda's meeting me in an hour to clean out Fleamont's potions room. I thought, if you wanted, we could take one of the letters to read and explore a bit. I can show you some things."

Harry jumped off his bed, eager to see more of his grandparents' home. He hadn't had time to explore his dad's bedroom or anything really beyond the parlor, Fleamont's study, and Sirius' old bedroom. There had just been so much to see in each of the rooms that he found himself getting lost in all the memories.

"Yeah, that sounds brilliant," Harry agreed.

Sirius smiled. "I'll meet you downstairs in five?"

Harry nodded and Sirius left the room, making sure to keep the door open just a sliver. Harry carded his hand through his messy hair as he dropped to his knees in front of his trunk. Opening it, he grabbed the photo album Hagrid gave him at the end of his first year and pulled out the four letters. He shuffled through them until he saw the name Lily written on one.

He wanted to save his letter for last, wanting to get a feel for Fleamont's personality before he read the one addressed to him. Sirius had been in a good mood, so he didn't fancy upsetting his godfather by picking the letter addressed to him. Harry just knew that the letter would set him off and cause him to be in a grumpy mood the rest of the day. He didn't want the trip to Godric's Manor to be spoiled.

"Letters?" Ginny asked, turning her body so that she could face him.

Harry nodded, rising to his full height. "Yeah, I found these letters at my grandparents' house addressed to my parents, Sirius, and me. We read the letter he addressed to my dad already," Harry explained as he sat down on his bed next to Ginny. "He wrote them when he was dying of Dragon Pox."

Ginny let out a huff of air. "That's… Merlin, that would be hard to read. How old were you when he died?"

Harry nodded, his pointer finger tracing the cursive L on the parchment. "Uh, it was right before my first Christmas, so I suppose… a little over four months old?"

Ginny didn't say anything, but she reached out to place her hand over his. Harry felt a lump form in his throat.

"It's funny, but I, uh, I never thought of my grandparents before," Harry admitted, his eyes squinting down at his mother's name. "My mum's parents were dead, my dad's parents were dead, and even Uncle Vernon's parents were dead. Grandparents were just something I never even thought about growing up because I was never around any."

Ginny nodded, her thumb brushing against his knuckles. "Mum's parents died when she was young. My Uncle Gideon and Uncle Fabian walked her down the aisle on her wedding day, and they took turns dancing with her at the reception. My dad's parents come around though."

Harry caught her eye. "Maybe I'll get to meet them one day."

Ginny grinned. "My granddad's a lot like Dad," Ginny explained. "My grandmum is a Black and sort of proper, like Sirius is when he's all posh without realizing he's being posh. Sirius said he didn't know her and had only met her once very briefly, but he didn't really want to talk to her. He said it was always awkward when other disowned Blacks tried to talk to him, because he didn't know them and didn't want to swap stories."

"Yeah, well, the Black family doesn't exactly give off fun and vibrant vibes," Harry replied, his face twisting. "I've seen some of Sirius' memories and heard some stories from when he was a kid, and I think he should have run away a lot sooner than he did."

"Well, he had a kid brother, so he probably stayed for him," Ginny reasoned. "I mean, I wouldn't want to leave any of my brothers behind. I doubt any of them would leave any of us behind. Well, except Percy. He's not big on family," Ginny said in a bitter tone. "Thinks he's better than the rest of us."

Harry nodded. "I can understand that. I mean, if Ron was my brother, I wouldn't leave him behind."

"Ron is your brother," Ginny pressed. "He's more your brother than mine. He'd push me off a bloody cliff for you."

Harry chuckled, a crooked grin spreading across his face. "I'd probably do the same for him."

Ginny pushed him, laughter echoing in his ears. "Go! Have fun with Sirius! I'll go throw myself off a cliff so you two don't have to!"

Harry grinned, leaning forward to press a quick peck onto Ginny's lips. Except, he found himself unable to pull back, his lips gliding across hers. It was Ginny who pulled back first, her thumb reaching up to wipe his bottom lip.

"I'll see you later," Ginny said.

Harry swallowed. "See you."

Harry bounded down the stairs, a slight skip to his step, as he made his way into the kitchen to see Sirius and Mrs Weasley talking by the stove. She looked positively frazzled.

"Just make it easy on yourself," Sirius told her, his body bending down so he could look her in the eye. "You don't need gourmet bloody meals all the time. It's just lunch. Make some sandwiches."

Mrs Weasley blew a piece of hair out of her eyes. "I just never learned to cook without a wand."

Guilt swarmed in Harry's chest. He hated how none of them were allowed a wand. In fact, he had only ever seen a wand during Occlumency lessons but never knew where they were stored. He hadn't even noticed or thought about how hard it would be for Mrs Weasley to go wandless.

"How about this? I'm taking Harry to Godric's Manor for the afternoon," Sirius said, reaching out and gripping her elbow. "I'll grab some takeaway for dinner. You can just relax for an evening, yeah?"

"You can't take Harry out," Mrs Weasley argued, her head shaking.

"We'll stick to the Muggle world. I'll have Andy come with," Sirius assured her.

Mrs Weasley huffed. "Sirius, now is not the time to be reckless."

"Reckless?" Sirius asked, raising his eyebrows. "Dumbledore wants him to go to a party at the end of the month to meet Horace Slughorn."

Mrs Weasley made a face. "Why in Merlin's name would he subject Harry to him?"

Sirius shrugged. "Fuck if I know. But, Molly, we'll be fine. I'll keep a hand on him at all times in case we need to Apparate out," Sirius added. "Look, I'm not going to put him at risk. But being cooped up here isn't good for him either. It will be a fifteen-minute detour."

"I just worry, Sirius."

Sirius smiled. "I know. I do too, but he's just a kid and deserves to get out once in a while. And you know that I love him. I'd die before I let anything happen to him. Plus," Sirius bobbed his head from side to side, his grin growing wider. "He's officially my son now. I have a piece of parchment and everything that says so."

Harry's heart swelled at the words. Son. The word rang pleasantly in his mind.

"Oh, you," Mrs Weasley sighed. "Send a Patronus before you leave the manor, all right? That way I know when to start to worry and watch for the two of you?"

Sirius crossed his finger against his chest. "Cross my heart," he said before he turned to see Harry standing in the doorway. "All ready?"

Harry nodded, stepping fully into the kitchen. Sirius held out an arm for him, and Harry stepped close to him as though they had done it a million times before. Sirius draped his arm around Harry's shoulders, rubbing his arm as they made their way out into the back garden and towards the rock that marked where the Fidelius ended. With a faint pop, the two Apparated to the outskirts of Godric's Hollow.

Sirius gave Harry a proper tour of the Potter's house, showing him each individual room as he pointed out pictures and told the stories behind them. Even though Harry knew it was his grandparents' home, he still jolted whenever he saw a picture of himself as a baby displayed. The most shocking thing was seeing his baby picture side-by-side with his dad's baby picture on the dresser in his grandparents' bedroom. Both babies had a ridiculous amount of black hair that seemed to stick straight up in every single direction possible. They looked nearly identical from their chubby baby cheeks to their thin lips to the way they smiled.

"That's you," Sirius said as he pointed to the picture on the right.

Harry squinted, his eyes darting between the babies' eyes but they weren't that different. "How can you tell?"

"The clothes," Sirius replied. "Eventually, you can tell by the eyes. Your eyes were more muted when you were a newborn and slowly became greener and greener as the months wore on."

"I look a lot like him," Harry mused.

Sirius nodded. "You still do, to an extent. I remember when I first saw you it was like I was thrown back in time. But the longer I've known you, I've noticed the small physical differences between the two of you. Now, I don't think you look all that much alike."

Harry looked up at Sirius. "Really?"

Sirius shrugged. "I think to people who don't know you as well, you'd probably look identical. It's like Fred and George. They look like carbon copies of each other but as time goes on and you get to know them better, then you can see the differences in them. Suddenly, you can't understand how people get them mixed up."

Harry nodded. "That makes sense. I mean, I like being compared to my parents. Makes me feel like I know them a bit more than I do. But sometimes, it can get old, you know? Sometimes I just want to be Harry."

Sirius sucked in a breath, his hands shoving into his trouser pockets. "There's not a day that goes by that I don't think about your dad. We were… we were closer than brothers. I relied on him so much and I think he relied on me just as much. Being with you, it makes losing him a bit easier. Because you have sparks of him in you. I see it so clearly in your unwavering loyalty and in your smile. But, at the same time, you're also so different than him. You're just Harry to me, my godson. And I like to think that we're closer than just godson and godfather. There's nobody in this world that I feel more connected to and love more than you. I think that's pretty damn special."

"I do too," Harry whispered, an odd expansion happening deep within his chest. "I mean, I feel that way too. It's nice having a family."

Sirius smiled tight, his skin crinkling by his eyes. "Good, I just… I wanted you to know that. Because I had it rough growing up. Everything just came to a head when I was sixteen. And I just felt very lonely and, and unsure of where I belonged. Fleamont and Euphemia always made sure to call me their son and did everything they could to make me feel like I was family. I wasn't just James' friend. I was, I was a Potter in everything but name," Sirius explained, his hands pressing on Harry's shoulders. "I appreciated that more than anything. It was something I needed to hear and I needed it spelled out for me to believe it. I remember being nineteen and Fleamont introducing me to someone as his son. He just said, 'This is my son, Sirius.' That's it. That simple. And I remember hearing that and, and just being so happy. And I know our situations are different. You had loving parents who died for you. And I don't want to replace James, because he was a fantastic father. But…" Sirius licked his bottom lip, his eyes searching Harry's. "But you're my son, okay? And I didn't need a piece of parchment to tell me that. I will always think of you as a son and treat you like you are my son and I… I hope that's what you want."

Harry couldn't help the single tear that ran down his face. It was the one thing he had always wanted in life. A parent. Someone to call him son. Someone to treat him like a son.

Sirius cleared his throat. "A very smart and kind woman once told me that blood was just a suggestion for family. But real and true family are the ones we pick to be a part of our lives. I would pick you over and over again."

Harry dove at Sirius, wrapping his arms tightly around him. He buried his face into Sirius' t-shirt, screwing his eyes shut to keep the tears from falling completely down his face as his godfather held him tight against his chest.

"That smart and kind woman was your grandmother, by the way," Sirius murmured, his hand pressing against the back of Harry's head.

Harry let out a watery chuckle. "I kind of guessed that," he said in a strained voice.

Sirius chuckled. "But now that I'm free, I've asked Remus to go house hunting for us. I thought about getting a place in Hogsmeade so I can keep an eye on you when you're at school. Then, I thought about buying a cottage in the country where we can go for Christmas and the summer holidays. We can decorate a room at both houses for you, though I'm not sure you can spend the night at the Hogsmeade one," Sirius explained as he pulled back, his hand reaching up to wipe the stray tears off Harry's cheek with his fingers. "There are restrictions for the types of wards that can go up on a house in Hogsmeade, given the location. But you can still come for lunch or whatnot during your Hogsmeade weekends and I could probably sign you out occasionally on the weekends. I just wanted to be close in case something happened."

Harry had loved knowing Sirius was so close during the Triwizard Tournament. A house in Hogsmeade sounded a lot nicer than the cave he was forced to stay in. Even if Harry couldn't stay in the house, he was happy that Sirius could.

"I'd like that," Harry replied.

Sirius nodded. "And, uh, perhaps I can come watch a few Quidditch games too. Although, I think I might try to disguise myself because I don't actually fancy going out in public yet. I'm not sure the reception will be all that great and I'm sure not everyone will believe my innocence. I wasn't well-liked even before Azkaban, so… yeah."

"Because your last name is Black?" Harry asked, trying to understand better.

"Well, in certain circles, the Blacks were revered," Sirius said, rubbing his chin. "But those social circles are filled with wankers and arseholes like the Malfoys and the Lestranges. Those who are decent people are more wary of the Blacks. We're not viewed as nice people. But your grandparents? I mean, they never judged a book by its cover. They were, Merlin, Harry, I don't even know how to describe them. You were absolutely robbed, because there were no finer people than the Potter family. Both your grandparents and your parents. It's just so unfair."

Unfair. Harry had felt that way his entire life. How completely and utterly unfair it was that everyone in his family had died except for his Aunt Petunia, the one person who hated him. He spent a lot of his childhood wondering if his parents, grandparents, or any other family member he may have had would have felt the same towards him. The thoughts ate away at him until he met Sirius.

He knew he had been loved at some point in his life. Now, he was loved again. Sirius' presence was a constant warm embrace, especially since he started opening up more and more with Harry. Likewise, Harry felt himself talking about himself more than he had ever done so in the past. It was just easy with Sirius. His godfather paused to listen, offered solid advice, and was just there at every single turn.

"I brought my mum's letter," Harry changed the subject, reaching into his pocket to pull out the parchment. "I thought I'd save ours for last."

Sirius nodded. "I think that's a good idea," he said in a thick voice, his hand gesturing towards the stairs. "Did you see your dad's room yet? We could read it there. Seems fitting."

They made their way across the hall and into James' bedroom. Quidditch had vomited all over the room. It didn't take Harry more than a few seconds to realize his dad had been a fan of the Montrose Magpies as the black and white banners and posters were plastered all over the walls. A group of Quidditch action figures that lost its magic lay scattered on his bookshelf amongst the tomes that all seemed to be about Quidditch or Transfiguration.

His dad seemed to have an affinity for pictures as well. There were so many frames filled with pictures of James and Sirius, as well as Harry's parents and Remus and Pettigrew. Harry smiled at one picture of Sirius on James' back, the two laughing with black and white streaks painted under their eyes for the Magpies as they donned the team's jersey.

"That was at a Magpies game we attended before our sixth year," Sirius commented. "The Magpies lost, which only made James depressed for a week, lamenting that their best player was injured only three minutes into the game."

Harry let out a soft chuckle, his eyes flickering around the room. Sirius gave his shoulder a quick squeeze before he sank down onto the bed. Harry turned, holding out the letter for Sirius. He'd much rather hear the words come from Sirius, someone who knew them. Sirius knew Fleamont after all, knew his tone and voice. It seemed more personal than him just reading them himself.

Sirius cleared his throat, his thumb sliding underneath the Sticking Charm to open the letter. Harry turned back to the bookcase and focused on a picture of his mother pressed against his dad's side, while next to them Marlene was pressed against Sirius' side, both couples standing in front of the Black Lake. They were all smiles and laughing, looking so young and carefree. They were no doubt only eighteen, so close to starting their lives outside of school. It was the beginning of the end.

"My dearest Lily," Sirius began to read, his voice cracking at Lily's name as Harry's eyes flickered over to look at his mother in the photo. "You, my dear, are simply divine. It is forever a pleasure to discuss potion-making with you. Euphemia never cared for it. James and Sirius were mediocre at best (perhaps could have been brilliant if they gave a damn). But you? Merlin, you were the daughter I always wanted but never had the chance to have. Charming. Funny. Smart. Kind. A good moral compass about you. Unafraid to tell James and Sirius when they are being complete and utter idiots. You also embraced Sirius, dealing with the boys' codependent tendencies so spectacularly," Sirius paused for a brief moment. Harry turned around to see his godfather smiling at the parchment."Euphemia always said that any girl who wanted to marry James would have to realize they would also have to marry Sirius, and vice versa. For those boys are never able to spend much time apart without spiraling into a deep depression, lost and longing for the other. You would think that someone had cut off their arm with the way they acted when they were apart."

Harry chuckled, knowing exactly how that felt. He often felt like he was lost without Ron by his side. When they had their major fight in fourth year, Harry had definitely felt like he was missing a part of him. He had been miserable, nobody being able to make him feel better or fill the hole in his heart.

Except, Sirius was no longer smiling. He just looked sad. The smile fell from Harry's face as Sirius looked up at him.

"It's been fourteen years, Harry, and not a day goes by that I don't miss your dad," Sirius whispered, his voice thick. "The day he died, it was like a part of me died too that day."

Harry swallowed, at a loss for words. What could he say to that? He tried to imagine himself in Sirius' shoes, to try to imagine what life would be like without Ron, but he couldn't do it. He couldn't imagine a world without Ron in it.

Sirius cleared his throat. "I cannot describe to you how lovely you have been to accept Sirius into your family. I think the two of you are kindred spirits in a sense, having both dealt with the pain of losing a sibling. I know how much it upset you that Petunia did not attend your wedding and I hated to see Euphemia needing to wipe the tears off your cheeks. I know how deeply upset her absence was for you, especially since your parents could not be there for your big day. Life can often be so cruel in the most unthinkable ways."

Harry chewed on the inside of his cheek at the mention of his aunt. It made sense that his Aunt Petunia refused to attend his parents' wedding. She had never had a kind word to say about either of them. But still, to hear his mother had cried over her absence made him feel connected to her more than ever before. He had shed too many tears over his aunt's aloof and downright neglectful behavior towards him as a child until he learned to just not care.

"How did my grandparents die?" Harry asked.

"Uh… I think an automobile accident," Sirius said, his head jerking up to look at Harry. "They died together, if I'm remembering right. It was a few months before your parents' wedding. Lily had been devastated not to have her dad walk her down the aisle. I know she wanted Petunia to walk her down, but… well, she wouldn't even attend. James said Lily went by her house when Petunia wouldn't return her calls or letters. Apparently, Petunia told her she wouldn't go to her wedding and slammed the door in her face."

Harry felt his heart drop to his stomach. "She told me my parents died in a car accident," Harry whispered. "Said my dad was drunk. I didn't know the truth until I was eleven."

Sirius stared at Harry, the muscles in his neck twitching. Harry regretted saying anything, more afraid than ever that Sirius would do something stupid like pay his aunt a visit.

"She's a fucking bitch," Sirius hissed, his head shaking. "What a complete and utter…" Sirius licked his bottom lip, his eyes snapping down to the letter. "Lily deserved so much better. You deserved so much better."

Harry sank down onto the bed next to Sirius, his hands folding in his lap. He shrugged, because what could he really say to that? He wished things had been different, that Sirius had never gone to Azkaban, that he had a normal happy childhood. But that didn't happen. It was neither of their faults. Sirius was with him now, and Harry was relatively happy. That had to count for something, didn't it?

"What else did my grandfather say?" Harry asked, his chin gesturing towards the letter.

Sirius sucked in a long breath, exhaling slowly before he began to read once more. "But, Lily, my dear, you are never without family. I know that none of us can ever fill that hole in your heart that aches so deeply for your parents and for your sister. But we will all die trying, because we love you so much that it hurts," Sirius paused, shifting the letter in his right hand so he could wrap his left arm around Harry's shoulders, pulling him close. Harry stared at his grandfather's handwriting. It was small and cramped like his."You are my daughter in every single way that matters. I will be forever honored that you allowed me to walk you down the aisle on your wedding day. Euphemia adores everything about you and thinks the world of you. You are our daughter, through and through. We are so proud of you, so happy to claim you as our own. I know that Sirius will be there for you in every way a sibling should be and he loves you so much. I see it in the way he hugs you tight, the way he asks Euphemia for advice when shopping for your birthday or Christmas, the way he fretted in the waiting room when Harry was being born, and in the way he smiles when he tells a story about you."

Harry glanced up at his godfather. He knew that Sirius had considered his dad a brother in every way that mattered. But he supposed he never thought about Sirius' relationship with his mother before. He had known they got on well and liked each other, but he didn't know he considered her a sister just as much as he considered James a brother.

"Family is often patched together, bonding over heartbreak and lost connections," Sirius continued, his voice cracking."I am so happy that James brought you to us. The perfect wife, the most marvelous daughter, the most caring sister, and the loveliest mother. You have blessed all of our lives for the better. I could not think of a better person to be with my son or to be the mother to my most precious grandson."

"They remind me of the Weasleys," Harry interrupted. "Ron's always treated me like a brother. So have the twins. Mr and Mrs Weasley have always welcomed me into their home. I never felt out of place with them. It was like they pretended that I had always been a part of their lives."

Sirius pressed his cheek against Harry's head. "They are a marvelous family."

Harry nodded against his godfather, his eyes glancing back down at the letter. Sirius and Mrs Weasley becoming friends made Harry happier than he could even describe, since he was fairly certain they'd spend the rest of the summer with the Weasleys despite Sirius' newfound freedom. He loved spending the summer with Ron and Ginny.

"Please, Lily, watch out for our boys once Euphemia and I are gone," Sirius read."It won't be long now. Our health has been declining rapidly in the past couple of days. I know James and Sirius will not take our deaths well. James is already a shell of himself after learning of the prophecy, where I cannot even recall the last time I saw him smile. He's already lost a considerable amount of weight, barely sleeping or eating as he searches for an answer that is outside of his reach. Sirius has already spiraled into a vengeful and angry man, wanting to burn down the world at the heartache he's experiencing over the prophecy," Sirius paused for a brief moment and Harry could feel him growing tense."Marlene says he is being reckless on Order missions and drinking himself to an early grave. James and Sirius are not ones to sit idly on their hands. They need action, they need to feel useful, they need to right the wrongs of the universe themselves. Except they cannot do anything. They can only scream and spiral and search for answers, but ultimately, they can do nothing but rage. Rage they will."

Harry pulled away from Sirius to look at his expression. Sirius seemed like he was on another planet, his lips parting as his eyes stared at the parchment in his hands. Harry had seen Sirius rage, the pure and raw anger that had radiated off him in the Shrieking Shack with Peter Pettigrew. He had also seen the way Sirius had consumed hard liquor the summer before his fifth year, the way he had been drunk most of last Christmas while singing carols at the top of his lungs, the way he answered the mirror at times with bloodshot eyes.

Except, now that Harry had thought about it, he hadn't seen Sirius drink at all since Harry had left Hogwarts. Sirius seemed more alert and thoughtful, like the man who had filled him in on all the inner workings of the Ministry when he was living in a cave during the tournament. The man who had snuck papers out of the bins and ate rats to survive. A Sirius far more put together and intelligent than the ghost of the man who had been locked away at Grimmauld Place the previous year.

Harry liked the Sirius that was before him now. The man who freely gave affection, the one who did crosswords and taught him Occlumency, the man who hadn't had a sip of alcohol in months. Harry wondered briefly how and what exactly triggered shifts in Sirius' personality, but he knew he didn't like that Sirius as much. Not when he had a taste of the man he was now when he was sober and not being haunted by his childhood home.

"I hate to be the one to put the burden on you to be the strong one, but I don't think our boys are capable right now of it," Sirius read, his voice far sharper than it had been before."Euphemia's and my deaths will only cause them to fall deeper into the pits of despair that they are trying and failing to crawl out of. But, in my experience, I often see that females are far stronger than males. They are able to hold the family together, shouldering the weight as they push their own pain aside. But don't be afraid to crack, Lily. Lean on Marlene as heavily as you need to as you help the boys pick themselves back up. They will, with time, and then don't be afraid to fall apart as well. Euphemia and I have taken our turns in falling apart over the years. It's a part of marriage."

Taking turns falling apart. Harry tucked that piece of information in the back of his mind as it was the most solid piece of dating advice that he had ever received. He could definitely pick up Ginny when she needed it. And he'd have to let her pick him up too when he needed it. Harry thought he could learn to lean on her as much as she would lean on him.

"I have no doubt that not only James, but Marlene and Sirius will be there for you when you need to fall apart. Just like you will be there for them. The four of you share something so special. Never forget that. Your father, Fleamont."

Sirius grunted in the back of his throat as he folded up the letter before passing it to Harry. Standing up from the bed, Sirius ran a weary hand down his exhausted face. Harry could see the telltale signs that his godfather was slipping into one of his melancholier moods. Maybe showing Sirius the letters had been a bad idea. Harry shuddered to think about what kind of mood Sirius would be in after they read their letters.

"I have to use the loo," Sirius announced without looking at Harry. "I'll meet you down in the study in five?"

Before Harry could respond, Sirius darted out of the bedroom. Harry slipped the letter in his pocket as he decided to look around the room once more, but it didn't hold the same sort of excitement it had before the letter.

He investigated for a bit to give Sirius some time alone. He opened the wardrobe, seeing the Quidditch bags Sirius had talked about last time they were at the house. There was a Gryffindor bag with the name Potter embossed in gold. Harry crouched down to pick it up. It was sturdy, almost new. Harry needed a new bag for Quidditch as his straps had been repaired one too many times over the years, to the point that he thought perhaps if they broke one more time they would be beyond magical repair. Taking the bag, he tossed it onto the bed and noticed the gleaming captains' badges pinned underneath the name. There were three. James had been Quidditch captain for three years in a row.

Opening the bag, Harry saw his father's old jersey, a Magpies hoodie, a pair of Chaser gloves, and an old Quidditch playbook. But it was the team picture that caught his eye. He pulled it out to see his father standing in the back with his arm slung around Marlene McKinnon's shoulders. She had been a Seeker. Like Harry. He could tell by the number seven embossed on her shirt.

Harry decided to take the bag and all of its contents with him. It was no doubt the first of many things Harry would slowly start to take from the house. He hauled it over his shoulder before he made his way downstairs, dropping the bag by the front door. Voices wafted from the back of the house, and he followed them towards the study.

Andromeda Tonks greeted him with a hug and a kiss on the cheek, causing Harry to turn a slight shade of pink. Sirius seemed fine, joking with Andromeda and showing Harry the very expensive gold cauldron in the center of the room.

"It was top of the line in the seventies," Sirius explained. "Probably cost as much as my bloody motorbike."

Andromeda's nose wrinkled. "Merlin, don't tell me you're going to get another one of those death traps now that you're free."

Sirius shrugged. "Maybe one day."

Andromeda went through all the vials and ingredients on the shelves, sorting them into different boxes in a system that neither Sirius nor Harry understood. Cleaning out the potions' room was far less thrilling than Harry had anticipated. But maybe that was just because he hated potions in general. He found himself pulling in Fleamont's leather swivel chair from his study and plopping down in it as Andromeda worked, listening to Sirius and Andromeda bicker and reminisce.

"Do you remember when Uncle Alphard lost his eyebrow making you that potion when you starting vomiting during a sleepover?" Andromeda asked as she tossed a ginger root into one of the boxes. "It was you, Reg, Cissa, and me all over there one night. He was completely mental to take us all. But you were maybe, Merlin, six? You had too many sweets and couldn't stop vomiting."

Sirius pulled a face. "Yet, Regulus had way more than I did and was bouncing off the bloody walls."

Andromeda laughed, her head throwing back. "I sat with you in the loo while you vomited more than your weight. Uncle Alphard just gave up trying to make the potion and took Regulus and Cissa to the apothecary to buy you something to help settle your stomach. I stayed behind with you and just rubbed your back."

"It was miserable," Sirius commented.

Harry grinned as he spun the chair from side to side. "I did that once. First night at Hogwarts in first year. Ron and I ate so many sweets on the train and then so many desserts at the feast. I don't think I ever ate so much food at once. I was vomiting for hours. Ron sat next to me and told me I had to be better about holding my food down if we were going to be mates."

"Aw, how sweet?" Andromeda said as she pulled a vial off the shelf and sniffed it. "Like godfather, like godson. Neither one of you can hold your sweets down."

"I've gotten better," Harry commented, a smile twitching on his lips. "I once ate an entire treacle tart without getting sick."

Sirius let out a bark-like laugh as he grabbed a potions book off the shelf and flipped through it. "Merlin, I know you love that stuff, but why would you do that?"

Harry shrugged. "Ron and I were fighting. I was upset. It seemed like the only appropriate thing at the time."

Andromeda chuckled. "Oh, I think we've all been there before," she said as she turned towards him. "So your favorite is treacle tart? I'll keep that in mind for Christmas."

Harry furrowed his brow, his eyes looking over at Sirius.

"Oh, yeah, Andy's invited us for Christmas," Sirius commented as he snapped the book closed and looked over at Harry. "And Easter. And every other holiday from now until we die," he explained as he waved the book in Harry's direction. "This was written by Fleamont, by the way. It's more advanced than anything you've ever done, but it's a first edition and he'd want you to have it."

Sirius walked over, handing him the book before he went back over to the bookshelf. Harry flipped through the book, seeing pictures and diagrams that Fleamont drew. It was beyond amazing to see, even if he had no clue what his grandfather was talking about.

When they left, Sirius eyed the Quidditch bag but said nothing. He only shot a Patronus to Mrs Weasley before they Apparated to a small shopping village that Harry didn't recognize. Sirius kept a tight hold of his arm the entire time, his nails digging into his flesh, but honestly, Harry didn't mind. It was nice to walk around with people for once. It was a quick ten-minute affair, but Harry couldn't help but smile when Sirius asked what he wanted and asked for his opinion on what everyone else liked to eat. Sirius bought enough food to feed a small army before they made their way back to the Burrow.

Sirius and Mrs Weasley set the table while Harry took a seat between Ginny and Ron. He smiled as they bickered about Quidditch, Ron reaching for food as soon as one of the takeaway containers was set in the middle of the table. It all felt so normal that Harry couldn't keep the grin off his face.

Ginny sucked in a breath, her face pulling as she watched her younger self press her elbow into the butter dish. Sirius chuckled next to her and Ginny tried not to give him the satisfaction that it bothered her as she watched pathetic little Ginny turn beat red. Harry pretended not to notice because even at twelve years old, he was kind and wouldn't dream of making fun of anyone. The rest of the family were luckily distracted when Percy entered the kitchen.

"You're adorable," Sirius said with a wide smile.

"Fuck off, Sirius," Ginny growled as she placed her hands over her ears and closed her eyes just like Harry had taught her to do.

She closed off all of her senses fairly quickly. It had been something she could easily accomplish. Sirius said she was ahead of where Harry had been after only a week of lessons, but they both kept that between them. There was no need to discourage Harry that she had an easier time shutting down than he did. While she could close off her mind, she had trouble pushing Sirius out.

"Get out," Ginny hissed, her hands pressing harder against her ears. "Get out. Get out. Get out."

"Just saying it isn't helping!" Sirius' muffled voice wafted through her ears.

Ginny sucked in a breath, really wishing she could hex Sirius right about now. She pictured him in front of her and thought about just pushing him back. She could see him clear as day behind her eyelids, his eyes alight with amusement. Her hands left her ears and she pushed her arms forward, connecting with his chest.

She fell, tripping over her feet as she went. Her eyes snapped open and she came face to face with Harry… or who she thought was Harry. Her eyes narrowed as she soaked in the details that just seemed off, yet right at the same time. His eyes weren't a brilliant green but rather a muddy hazel. There was no scar on his forehead that ran from his hairline down through his eyebrow. His hair was longer and floppier, almost a bit of a curl to it. Thick black frames sat on his slightly longer nose.

"Elvendork," Not Harry said, a grin spreading across his face. "That was a good one, Pads. I'm going to use that from now on in the Muggle world."

"I'll snag Wilberforce then."

Ginny whipped her head to see a very young and handsome-looking Sirius Black. He was grinning broadly, an expression that was more of a rarity later in his life. A hand pressed on her shoulder and Ginny didn't need to look to know it was her Sirius standing next to her.

"Same last name though, yeah? We'll have to be brothers in every world," Not Harry confirmed. "Elvendork and Wilberforce Cockburn."

Sirius let out a bark-like laugh. "Yeah, all right, Mr Cockburn."

"This is Harry's dad…" Ginny whispered, her eyes staring at Not Harry, or she should say James.

Sirius nodded. "Yeah, we were bloody morons. Let's go."

Ginny felt herself being ripped from the memory. The parlor of the Burrow came swirling into view. She let out a little huff. Sirius had been moodier the past couple of days, shorter with everyone. Harry had said his mother's letter had set Sirius off and they hadn't read another one since. Ginny turned to see Ron and Harry chatting on the sofa with Remus.

"That was bloody quick," Ron announced.

Ginny shrugged as she made her way over to the sofa. Ron rose next, crossing the room as he shook out his arms. Harry stared at her, his brows furrowing. She just smiled at him, grabbing his hand in hers.

"Do your worst, Remus," Ron said, a goofy grin crossing his features. "I've been thinking of nothing all day in preparation. Arguably, that wasn't hard to do."

Remus laughed as he pressed the tip of his wand to Ron's temple and said the incantation. Sirius took a seat in one of the armchairs, his hand scrubbing his eye.

Harry leaned in. "Did you do it?"

Ginny squinted at Ron and Remus, though they weren't that interesting. They were just standing there as though they were having a staring contest. Sucking in a breath, she didn't really know what to tell Harry. She didn't want to say she had successfully pushed Sirius out of her mind after only a few lessons, but she had a lot of practice at masking her emotions and feelings for years now. But she couldn't lie to him either.

"It was an embarrassing memory," Ginny replied, leaning into his side. "I think Sirius took pity on me."

Harry snorted. "Sirius doesn't take pity on anyone. He definitely wants us to succeed."

Ginny rested her head against Harry's shoulder. His hand pressed against her knee, his thumb rubbing small circles. The motion only made her melt against him, a contented sigh escaping her lips.

Once Ron finished up with his lesson, where he had not forced Remus out nor even blocked off his senses that well, they all played a game of Exploding Snap as Ron grumbled about the stupid blood lessons. Sirius, like always, did the day's crossword in the Daily Prophet.

When the boys called it, disappointment blossomed in Ginny's chest. She didn't want to go to bed quite yet. Her eyes flickered to Harry's, their gaze catching on one another. He offered her one of his crooked smiles before they headed towards the stairs.

Ginny pursed her lips when they reached the first floor landing, watching Harry climb up the stairs with Sirius and Ron. She wasn't tired at all, her mind still reeling from the Occlumency lesson. Making her way to the loo, she brushed her teeth and plaited her hair before bed. The stairs creaked and Ginny watched Sirius pass by the door before making his way downstairs. Apparently, he didn't feel like sleeping either. Which wasn't anything new. But Ginny wondered how he even remotely functioned with the lack of sleep he subjected himself to on a daily basis.

She finished her hair as she made up her mind. Instead of going to her own room, she climbed the stairs towards Harry. Light seeped out from underneath his door so he was still up. Chewing on her lip, she opened it slowly without knocking, not wanting to wake up Remus or anyone else in the house.

Harry stood shirtless in the room, already in his pajama bottoms with a book in his hand. He glanced up at Ginny, his eyebrows raising above his glasses. She shut the door behind her and he shot her an exasperated look.

"You're going to get us in trouble," Harry replied, shutting the book. "Sirius said we should keep the door open a crack."

Ginny snorted. "Since when do you care about getting into trouble?"

The muscles in Harry's neck tensed. "Since I don't want your parents to kick me out of their house? Or for Sirius to think I'm not following his rules so he'll just up and move us to one of the houses he's supposedly buying."

Ginny brushed him off, closing the space between them. "Nah, Mum and Sirius enjoy gossiping way too much for you two to leave."

She smiled up at him, not helping but to laugh as his eyes flickered behind her to the damn door. Ginny reached up, her hands cupping his cheeks.

"Besides, we're not doing anything," Ginny argued. "You and Ron have the door closed all the time."

Harry swallowed. "I'm not dating Ron."

Ginny winked at him. "Not from lack of trying."

Harry broke out into a smile, his shoulders easing. "You do know I was joking about that, right? Because everyone calls us co-dependent."

"Are you really joking though?" Ginny asked, her eyes sparkling up at him as her hands ran down his face and rested on his bare shoulders.

Harry let out a huff. "Are you all right?"

Ginny bobbed her head from side to side, her grin widening. "Changing the subject, I see."

Harry reached up, tucking a stray bit of hair that had evaded her plait behind her ear. "Just wanted to make sure you were all right. I mean, it couldn't have been a nightmare this time."

Ginny shrugged. "I just wanted to be with you. Is that weird?"

Harry shook his head. "No, I rather like being with you as well."

Ginny's eyes trailed down, her gaze staring at the very thin and faint scar across his neck. Marlene knew what she was doing when she healed him. Ginny didn't think anyone would notice the mark unless they were looking for it. She couldn't help but run her fingers along it, her chest tightening painfully. Harry didn't flinch or move away from the touch. He just stared down at her.

"We rarely get any alone time," Ginny whispered, tearing her eyes away from the scar to look up into his eyes. "The other night when we cuddled… I just felt so at ease. I slept really good that night."

Harry nodded. "Me too."

"Can we just lay together again?" Ginny asked in a small voice. "I know you're worried about my parents being upset, but… well, I think they'd understand."

Harry's eyes searched hers for a few moments until he slowly nodded. Grasping her hand in his, he led her towards the bed. They settled down underneath the blanket, facing each other just like the other night. Harry's glasses shifted on his face as soon as his head sat on the pillow.

"Isn't that uncomfortable?" Ginny asked as she reached out to right his glasses.

"Nah," Harry replied as he pulled his glasses off his face just a hair. "There, now they're not digging in."

"You can take them off, you know," Ginny said with a small laugh, her hand grabbing his.

Harry shrugged his shoulder. "Then I won't be able to see you.," Harry explained as his finger brushed against her bottom lip. "Did you know you have three freckles on your lip? They're like a little triangle cluster."

Ginny stared at him. "I have freckles everywhere, Harry. I'm sure I even have some between my arse cheeks."

Harry shifted, an awkward and cute little chuckle escaping his lips. "I'm totally not thinking about your arse now."

Ginny grinned at him. "Well, one day you can let me know."

"Merlin, Ginny!" Harry breathed, his eyes widening. "You can't just say things like that to a bloke!"

Ginny leaned her head closer to his, her forehead connecting with his. "Fine, I take it back. You'll never see my arse."

Harry groaned. "Gin! I want to see it!" Harry exclaimed before he paled a moment later. "Someday, I mean. Not today. That's just, well, it's too… it's, we just started dating and well, I'm not ready for… Merlin, I sound like such a creep. What is wrong with me?"

Ginny laughed, her hand leaving his so she could run her fingers through his ridiculous mess of a hair. "You're adorable, you know that?"

Harry's eyes slid closed. "When I put my foot in my mouth? Oh yeah, I'm a real charmer."

Ginny leaned in and pressed her face closer to his to give him a quick peck on the lips. "I think you're adorable."

"I'm glad someone does," Harry whispered as he rolled on his back, his arm reaching for her.

She scooted closer to him, settling into his arms like she had the other night. His heart beat strong and steady beneath her ear, causing her entire body to relax against him. There was something about being able to feel his thumping heart that doused her from head to toe in a Calming Draught. She wished she could fall asleep every single night in his strong embrace.

Sirius stared at the Pensieve on the desk, his wand twirling between his fingers. He had searched his memory high and low trying to find references to Horcruxes and came up empty. Sirius knew he was only half-heartedly trying, knowing he should view some of his more alarming memories, but he just hadn't wanted to delve deeper into the darkest moments of his childhood. Swallowing, he pressed the tip of his wand to his temple and pulled out one memory in particular, one that he could only remember the beginning to and one that could very well hold some sort of answer to the question he was seeking.

Flicking the silver mist into the Pensieve, he looked down to see himself at fifteen standing next to Lucius Malfoy. Bile rose in his throat. It had been the Black annual Christmas Eve party of '75. He had been blackout drunk for most of it, trying to distance himself from everything wrong happening around him. Taking a deep breath, Sirius stood up from his chair before he tumbled forward into the memory.

He landed in the parlor of Grimmauld Place. Most of the furniture had been removed from the room to make space for all the guests. A live band was shoved in the corner of the room, playing classical wizarding music. Some guests danced, others drank and chatted, while some admired the festive décor of the house.

Sirius spotted himself right away with a scowl on his youthful face. Regulus stood next to him, not nearly as grumpy as his older brother. Sirius walked closer to the pair, his eyes lingering on his thirteen-year-old brother, looking so young and so full of promise. He had thrown it away by taking the Dark Mark, tossed aside any chance of living a happy life because he couldn't tell their parents to fuck off. Sirius had done him a disservice. He should have tried harder after he had escaped his parents' clutches, should have helped him escape as well. Except Sirius had been tired and broken, happy to ignore any reminders of his old life.

"Do you think Uncle Alphard will come?" Regulus asked, rising on the balls of his feet to look around the room.

Sirius snorted. "Doubtful. He hates these things. Probably away on business again."

"What does Uncle Alphard do exactly?" Regulus asked.

"I don't know, Reg. He invests in things and such," Sirius explained, though clearly he had no idea either.

Sirius never really knew. Nobody talked about how the Blacks made or kept their money. As an adult, he suspected that they probably funded some shady research or invested in Dark Magic development. The books that he had gathered together for Dumbledore to dispose of properly from Grimmauld the previous summer had clued him in to his family's unsavory obsession with the darkest forms of magic, ones that pushed magic to its ultimate limits.

The room quieted down, the music ceasing to play, as heads turned towards the doorway leading into the room. Lord Voldemort, still handsome and youthful, walked in with his arm linked with Walburga Black's. Sirius' eyes widened as everyone started to bow or curtsy around him. His eyes caught sight of Bellatrix giving him a cold stare, her body bent in a ridiculously low bow. She pointed her wand at him and he felt himself bend in half, bowing in the direction of Lord Voldemort.

Sirius couldn't move anything except for his eyes. He looked up at Walburga and Lord Voldemort smiling at everyone in the room. Lord Voldemort raised a hand, a twisted smile crossing his features.

"You may stand," Lord Voldemort announced.

Sirius tried and failed to rise, the magic keeping him in place. It wasn't until everyone else stood straight that Bellatrix lifted the spell off him. Sirius' chest heaved, his eyes screwing shut.

Sirius felt bile rising in his throat even after all these years. He had been such a scared and pathetic kid. There were definitely times he should have spoken up more, situations where he should have run sooner. There were plenty of things he did that he hadn't been proud of. No wonder everyone suspected him to be a Death Eater, not even batting an eyelid that he was declared as Voldemort's second hand.

"Thank you for the warm welcome," Lord Voldemort spoke, a sneer working its way on his face. "Walburga has been such a gracious host, and I look forward to speaking with each and every one of you tonight."

Lucius Malfoy stepped up behind the brothers, his hand clapping on the back of Sirius' neck. Sirius turned, unable to keep the look of utter disgust off his face, trying to move out of reach from the man. But Malfoy dug his nails into Sirius' neck, pulling him close to him.

"Evening, Sirius," Malfoy greeted.

Sirius' jaw clenched, his gaze catching Narcissa's as she stepped up to the group.

"Sirius, Regulus," Narcissa greeted.

"Hello, Cissa, Lucius," Regulus said with a dutiful smile.

Sirius only frowned, refusing to greet either of them. He winced as the nails dug deeper into his flesh. Malfoy leaned over, their cheeks nearly touching.

"Oh, Sirius, I cannot wait until you finally crack," Malfoy hissed on his ear. "It will be so, so much fun to have you finally join the family and take the Dark Mark."

Merlin, Sirius fucking hated Lucius Malfoy. He still didn't know how exactly he managed to weasel his way out of Azkaban. Just how much money had he donated? How many personal favors did he pull? Sirius would be keen to know. Besides Peter getting what was coming to him, Sirius craved for Malfoy to get his as well.

Regulus leaned towards Narcissa. "Do you think the Dark Lord will always be here now?"

Narcissa narrowed her eyebrows at him. "Is that a problem, Regulus?"

Sirius reached up, pushing Lucius away from him. A look shot between them as Sirius stepped out of his reach. Finally.

Regulus shook his head, his eyes wide. "I didn't mean it like that! I just meant, well, I mean, it's just…"

"Shut up, Reg," Sirius hissed.

Lucius chuckled, his arm wrapping around Narcissa's shoulders. "When's the wedding, Sirius? I heard it was postponed over the summer. Pity. You and Bellatrix make such a fine couple, don't you agree?"

Sirius didn't say anything. He stormed away from the group, his eyes locking with the glasses of alcohol floating around the room on trays. He grabbed a glass, not even knowing what it was. Pressing his back against the nearest wall, he downed the drink in one big gulp. He dropped his arm to his side, his fingers letting go of the glass and allowing it to shatter. Kicking off the wall, he hunted for more alcohol just so he'd be able to get through the evening.

Sirius followed his younger self around the room, watching as he drank glass after glass after glass until he started to stumble through the throng of guests. People shot him dismayed looks, shocked to see the heir of the Black family drunk off his bloody arse at only fifteen years old. Sirius never cared what people thought of him, and that was very apparent at the party as well. There was something about watching his younger self that always set Sirius off. He was a fucking mess, so clumsy and desperate but he never did anything to get himself out of the shitty situations he found himself in. He was a fool, a fucking moron. Merlin, Sirius hated himself.

"Sirius," Rosemond Lestrange hissed, her hand grabbing him by his elbow. "What the blazes are you doing?"

Rosamond was the younger sister to Rodolphus and Rabastan Lestrange. She had been a year older than Sirius, far nicer than either one of her brothers. He could remember hiding out in broom cupboards with her when they were just kids, giggling and chatting to get away from the stuffy pureblood parties. She had been upset when he hadn't been sorted into Slytherin, the distance growing between them. They hadn't spoken in years. But she had never been unkind to him, just ignored him more often than not in public.

"Celebrating," Sirius replied in a slurred tone, his arm raising and the alcohol sloshing over the rim of the glass. "Happy Christmas, Rosamond."

Rosamond sucked in a breath, his brows furrowing. "You're drunk."

Sirius grinned, wide and broad. "It's the only way to get through one of these awful parties."

"Right," Rosamond said in a flat voice. "Why don't we go upstairs, yeah?"

Sirius wiggled his eyebrows. "I knew you always fancied me. I see the looks you give me at school. Like all the other girls. My charming smile cannot even keep you Slytherins away. But I don't fancy shagging any purebloods. Seems so hypocritical of me."

Rosemond rolled her eyes, pushing him out of the parlor. "Yeah, I want in your trousers for sure. You've figured me out."

"You always used to drag me into cupboards when we were little," Sirius said, stumbling into the entryway where his Aunt Druella stood with Augustus Rookwood who both gave them exasperated looks.

"Just taking him for some air," Rosamond said in a rush as she pushed him towards the stairs, a polite smile on her face.

Sirius definitely did not remember this. Nor had Rosamond ever talked to him about it afterward.

"That's the stairs!" Sirius protested, as she pressed her body close to him to help him up. "You know, you were my first kiss. In the cupboard off the kitchens. It was before Hogwarts, remember? The summer before you went off to school and left me to deal with parties on my own. Regulus was never as much fun."

Rosamond snorted. "I was so excited when you started Hogwarts but you didn't join me in Slytherin."

"That's when we stopped being friends," Sirius concluded, disappointment clear in his tone. "You never shoved me in a cupboard after that."

"My Lord," Walburga's voice wafted into the hallway.

"Shh," Rosamond hissed, dragging Sirius down to crouch against the nearest wall, placing her hand over his mouth.

Sirius stepped past the two, his heart hammering in his chest. How could he not remember any of this? The door to the room was open a crack, so Sirius tried to peer inside. He could see the back of Walburga's head. His eyes flickered back to his younger self to see him creeping along the wall to get closer. Rosamond reached for him, her eyes wide.

"Orion's been diagnosed with Sanguis Syndrome. He's already struggling with the fatigue and the body aches," Walburga explained, no sympathy in her voice. "It's so shameful to have a husband who is only going to steadily decline in health, one that can't fight the good fight as he should."

"I cannot imagine how pitiful that would be to watch," Lord Voldemort replied.

"He relies heavily on his daily potions, but that could be remedied," Walburga continued. "You know we have always had a stronger connection than Orion and I. I only married him to secure the Black family fortune. He was the direct heir, unfortunately. But you and I? With all the Black money and our thirst for a better world, I daresay we would be unstoppable together."

Sirius took a step closer, his neck craning to try to see into the room. He reached out to push the door open, but his hand went right through the wood. His younger self sat directly outside of the door, his chest heaving as he listened to the conversation. Sirius sneered at his younger self, too drunk to remember such an important conversation.

"Walburga, I adore you, you know that," Lord Voldemort assured her. "But I have ambitions to right the wrongs of our world."

"We can do that together," Walburga insisted. "I know you plan on splitting your soul into seven pieces. What if we did it together? We both split our souls together. We could reign for all eternity."

"Walburga, you are getting ahead of yourself," Lord Voldemort said, a tsk seemingly on the tip of his tongue.

"If it wasn't for me, you never would have even known about Horcruxes in the first place, Tom," Walburga hissed.

A slap echoed, loud and ringing. Sirius pressed his hand to his mouth, his body frozen next to the door.

"How dare you speak that name?" Lord Voldemort hissed.

"My Lord," Walburga gasped. "Forgive me. Old habits are hard to break."

"Try harder," Lord Voldemort seethed. "This is precisely why it would never work between us, Walburga. You think you are my equal. We are not equals."

Walburga sucked in a breath, but didn't speak.

"Your brat is outside the door," Lord Voldemort snapped and suddenly the door flung open. "Get up."

Sirius looked up, his body trembling. He rose on his feet, his legs wobbly from fear or alcohol or a bit of both. Walburga appeared behind Lord Voldemort, rage flitting across her features.

"Sirius Black," Lord Voldemort greeted, looking bored. "I hear nothing about you except that you are unruly, a troublemaker, a blood traitor. You run around with that Potter boy at school, do you not?"

Sirius swallowed, his head jerking up and down.

Lord Voldemort leaned forward. "Fleamont Potter is an abomination to the name pureblood," he whispered, his face pulling. "You are nothing but a drunk. You reek of alcohol. Do you not respect the position of heir?"

"Sirius, show the Dark Lord some respect," Walburga hissed. "Bow. Now."

Sirius' entire body shook as he bent at the waist, his balance wavering at the motion. "I'm sorry, my Lord," Sirius croaked, fear evident in his slurred words.

Sirius stepped back from his younger self. Bile rose in his throat, his eyes flickering between his petrified and drunk teenager self to Lord Voldemort. This memory was important, but he'd never dare show it to Dumbledore. Not when his completely shit-faced self had been so bloody stupid.

"You are mine, Sirius," Lord Voldemort hissed before turning back to Walburga. "A year, Walburga. You have a year to shape him up, make him into a proper heir. I want my mark on his arm willingly. If you can do that, then I daresay you may be more a leader than I thought." Lord Voldemort turned back to Sirius. "Stand up."

Sirius stood up to his full height, his wide gray eyes staring unblinkingly at Lord Voldemort. He looked a little green around the edges, like he was about to puke at any moment, but somehow he managed to keep it all down.

"What did you hear?" Lord Voldemort asked.

"N-nothing," Sirius replied.

Lord Voldemort raised an eyebrow. "Is that how you address me?"

Sirius swallowed, taking a staggering step back. "I was tired, my Lord."

"Go, before I change my mind."

Sirius didn't need telling twice. He bolted down the hallway towards the stairs. Except he didn't go up but rather down, nearly falling on his arse quite a few times as he attempted to take the stairs two at a time. He made his way towards the front door but stopped when he came face to face with Uncle Alphard.

"Sirius?" Uncle Alphard asked, his hands pressing on Sirius' shoulders. "Are you all right?"

Sirius shook his head in the negative. Uncle Alphard pushed him through the mob of people towards the study situated in the back of the house. They slipped inside, Uncle Alphard locking the door before casting some privacy charms. Sirius sank down into the leather sofa, his entire body trembling.

"What in Merlin's name is going on?" Uncle Alphard asked.

"Mum, she, she was talking to him," Sirius said in a rush.

"Are you drunk?" Uncle Alphard demanded, his jaw clenching.

Sirius just looked desperately up at his uncle. "Mum was plotting to kill Dad, said she could tweak his potions."

Uncle Alphard sank down on the sofa next to Sirius, a hand clapping on the back of his neck. "You must keep this to yourself."

Sirius screwed his eyes shut, a few tears leaking out of the corner of his eyes. "Uncle Alphard, they saw me. He-he said I needed to shape up to take the Mark in a year."

Uncle Alphard cupped his hands on either side of Sirius' face, forcing him to look at him. "Sirius, you need to listen to me. I need you to sober up and then I need you to go to the Potters, just like you always do. All right? Let me take care of everything here. Don't worry."

Sirius swallowed, his voice barely above a whisper, "Uncle Alphard, they talked about Horcruxes."

Uncle Alphard nodded. "I know, son, I know."

Sirius walked closer to the sofa so that he could get a clear view of his uncle. He knew about the Horcruxes, didn't seem surprised in the slightest. His face was drawn into a thin line, like he had waited and anticipated this awful moment to come to fruition. Sirius flickered his gaze to his pathetic younger self sniveling on the sofa. He had been too drunk to remember this night, but he remembered the awful hangover the next morning. It took him half a day to be able to leave his bed and by the evening, he had packed what few belongings he brought home before heading to the Potters on the Knight Bus with money he had found in his robe pockets. Money that he watched his uncle hand him.

"Uncle Alphard…" Sirius trailed off, his eyes unfocused. "Mum… I think she…"

"Enough," Uncle Alphard said in a strong voice. "Let her live in the delusion that she's in. It'll be helpful in the future."

Sirius' brows furrowed. "What do you mean?"

"Your mother is dreadful at Occlumency. Can't block her mind to save her life, at least not with someone who can naturally hear thoughts without trying," Uncle Alphard explained, a sardonic smile crossing his features. "She's an open book, Sirius. I like her that way. I know plenty of things already that will be useful later. I already know where his first Horcrux is."

Sirius swallowed. "He has one?"

Uncle Alphard cupped his face. "Let me take care of it, Sirius. Go sober up. Talk to no one else. Understood?"

Sirius watched his younger self leave the room, but his eyes were staring at his Uncle Alphard. What had he known? Bending down in front of his uncle, he tried to see some clue as to what the fuck was going on, but he was stoic like he had always been.

The memory ceased when Sirius hadn't followed his younger self out of the study. He stared wide eyed at the Pensieve to see the memory starting over, his younger self standing next to Regulus. Rubbing his chin, Sirius didn't know exactly what to do with the information. Without a second thought, Sirius dove headfirst back into the memory once more.

He needed to make sure he listened carefully to remember all of the facts. Because it seemed nearly impossible for Voldemort to have split his soul into seven pieces. But then again, Voldemort's grotesque appearance only proved that it was true.

I hope you enjoyed the latest chapter! Next weekend, there will be no update as I have too much going on to post. I'll be back the following week though, so have no fear! Don't forget to drop a review. They keep me motivated to keep writing!

Special thanks to Bell for being an editing rockstar!