"Brumous"
"Chapter Twenty-Eight: The Gaunt Family"
Sirius stared at the piece of parchment in front of him, glaring at it as though he dared it to do something other than say Dear Charlotte at the top in his handwriting. Hedwig had become impatient, pecking at his fingers whenever he sat at the table and failed to write anything. Sirius shot the bird a few dirty looks. Maybe he shouldn't have asked for Hedwig so soon, but he didn't think it would be this hard to write a bloody letter.
"Fuck off, Hedwig," Sirius snapped, shooing her away with his hand. "Didn't Harry ask you to be nice?"
Hedwig let out a low and menacing hoot. Sirius was convinced that the only person Hedwig liked in the entire world was Harry. He had never met such an ornery owl before. Sirius tapped his quill on the table, side-eyeing Hedwig who sat glaring at him next to his letter. Running his hand through his hair, Sirius clutched the strands.
"It can't be this hard," Sirius reasoned to himself or maybe to Hedwig, though he doubted she cared. "I just tell her what I know, right?"
Sirius turned to look at Hedwig who just stared back at him. She didn't even bother to hoot to acknowledge him.
"Why don't you like me?" Sirius asked. "I care about Harry as much you do. And… fuck me. I'm talking to a ruddy owl."
Sirius turned back to the letter. Two words. That was all he had written in three days. Being at a loss for words wasn't something Sirius had ever really experienced before. But he knew he only had one shot to convince Charlotte to write him back, one shot to help them, one shot to get to know Cepheus. Despite his and Regulus' spats over the years, he still loved his little brother. He wished more than anything, knowing Regulus had a kid and had wanted out, that he had been a better brother to him and helped him.
He just needed to write the letter and hope for the best. There was nothing more he could do. If Charlotte didn't want him involved, she didn't want him involved. She had probably already made up her mind who she was going to allow in Cepheus' life. Sirius could very well be on the shit list of people who would never get to know him. In which case, deliberating over what he was going to write wouldn't make an ounce of difference, which was another reason why he needed to get his shit together and just write the fucking thing. With a huff of annoyance directed at himself, Sirius picked up the quill and forced himself to keep going.
Dear Charlotte,
I know it may come as a surprise to you to hear from me and, honestly, I thought you had died years ago when Regulus did. But a mutual friend, and I use that term loosely, told me about you and Cepheus. She told me about Regulus' change of heart. Nothing saddens me more to know that he wanted out and had a baby on the way and I was just absent. I have many regrets in my life, but not helping Regulus is near the top.
You know better than anyone how completely terrible the Black family is. You saw it firsthand at thirteen and I commend you for not running for the hills that Christmas holiday when you saw what Walburga and Orion were capable of. You must have truly loved Regulus. It brings me some comfort to know my brother had you in his last few years because I have no doubt they were filled with unspeakable horrors.
Before I go on, I preface this by saying you owe me nothing. You can rip up this letter if you wish. But I would like to help you. I would like to meet Cepheus and get to know him. I know Cepheus doesn't know how dreadful the Black family is, nor that he knows what truly happened to Regulus. I will be on board with whatever you have already told him. I am on your side fully. I just want to meet my nephew. I want to help you.
We didn't really know one another, but I always thought you were kind albeit a bit shy. I'm sure you had different feelings about me as nobody in our mutual social circle thought much of me. I'm not like them, despite what you may have heard over the years. Yes, I went to Azkaban. No, I wasn't a Death Eater. No, I didn't betray my friends. No, I didn't murder thirteen people on the first of November. If you need any proof of my good intentions, I offer you a photo of my godson Harry Potter (who I have recently adopted and have been protecting from the same lot that you're hiding from) and I on holiday in France. Funnily enough, I'm fairly certain I saw Cepheus in the small wizarding village one day as I saw a boy that looked remarkably like Regulus.
I can come to you, if that makes it easier. We can meet at Beauxbatons. Madame Maxime and I have a few common friends. The Potions Master was kind enough to brew a potion for my friend while we were in France.
I'm beyond glad to know that you are still alive and well.
Sincerely,
Sirius Black
Sirius leaned back in his chair, rereading the letter. He made his way into the parlor and grabbed a picture of him and Harry on the beach in Agde off the mantel. Taking the picture out of the frame, he wrapped his letter around the picture before grabbing an envelope. He scratched Charlotte's address that he received from his grandmother onto the front of the envelope before he had time to second-guess himself.
Making his way back into the kitchen, he saw Hedwig waiting for him at the table. Sirius sucked in a breath as he tied the letter to Hedwig's outstretched foot.
"I know you're still bitter with me for taking Harry to France and leaving you behind, but I did it to protect him," Sirius murmured. "I know asking you to go to France when I didn't let you go may seem rude, but… you're a good owl. Harry trusts you, so I trust you even if I don't like you all that much. We have that in common, yeah? But this letter is important. It cannot be intercepted. If you do this for me, I'll have the fattest and juiciest rat waiting for you. Padfoot will go hunting for one all for you."
Hedwig let out an appreciative hoot before gliding over towards the window. Sirius opened it, watching as Hedwig swooped in the air before rising higher and higher. Leaning out the window, his gaze wandered to the direction of the castle. The peak of the Astronomy Tower shone through the trees. He stared at it long and hard, trying to put his anxiety about Charlotte and Cepheus out of his mind.
Harry made his way into the library, heading straight for the back right corner where Ginny and her friends always sat. He saw her right away in her normal chair next to Demelza while Niamh and Gemma sat across from them. Niamh caught sight of him first, a grin spreading across her face as she waved at him. It caused a chain reaction, all of the girls turning their attention towards him and giving him smiles or small waves.
While Ginny's friends were all kind and he had grown to like them all, Harry couldn't help but feel a tad awkward around them. They were always hugging him and touching him. They talked nonstop, often carrying on multiple conversations at once where Harry was confused what they were even talking about half the time. One thing they all had in common was that they treated him like they had been friends for years.
Niamh often asked him for help on her Defense homework and she was the most touchy-feely of the bunch. She always threw her arms around him in a hug, squeezing him tight until he returned the embrace. Demelza talked Quidditch strategy as though she had already made the team despite tryouts not even happening yet. He noticed she would gently slap his arm and push him when he said something sarcastic, a smile quirking on her lips. Gemma liked to fill him in on all the gossip she heard, advising him to stay far away from Romilda Vane and all her little friends as they talked about trying to bewitch him into fancying them. She would throw her arm around his shoulders and lean in close until their cheeks were touching to talk to him in hushed tones as she pointed out all the unsavory girls.
Overall, despite his slight discomfort, it all seemed so normal now. He found himself easing into the group, even interrupting the girls' fast chatter with questions so he could follow their conversations. When Ron joined them, which was more often than not, he seemed completely at ease and seemed to follow their conversations better than Harry ever could, often interjecting his own loud opinion. The only one who hadn't embraced the new dynamics had been Hermione.
She seemed to leave the fastest when she would join them, dashing off saying she couldn't concentrate on studying. Harry had noticed her sitting with a group of seventh year Ravenclaws in the library, always sitting next to Eddie Carmichael. Gemma said she had heard they were caught snogging during a patrol one evening and Demelza commented that patrols had been switched around last minute so that they were partnered up quite a bit.
Putting all that out of his mind, Harry slid into the seat next to Ginny and she greeted him with a quick peck on the cheek. He scooted his chair closer to hers, wrapping his arm around the back of her chair. His fingers played with the end of her ponytail, twirling a lock of shimmering red hair around his finger.
"Harry!" Niamh said in an excited voice as she dug through her satchel. "I got my essay back! Look!"
She slapped the parchment down between them. Harry peered down at the parchment to see she had received an Exceeds Expectations at the top of the paper with very minimal red marks throughout the essay. Niamh beamed at him.
"I've never gotten anything above an Acceptable from Snape!" Niamh explained as she pointed down to Snape's cramped writing. "He even praised me! Look, it says, 'Interesting and thorough explanation.' I don't think he's ever said anything nice to me before!"
Harry smiled. "That's great, Niamh. I'm glad I could help."
"You were a lifesaver, Harry!" Niamh exclaimed, bouncing in her chair. "If you weren't dating Ginny, I would kiss you!"
Harry stared at Niamh while Ginny chuckled next to him, her hand pressing on his thigh.
Gemma squinted, leaning forward to look at the parchment. "You don't reckon he's been replaced by a lookalike or something, do you?"
Demelza laughed. "It's good analysis! He can't even deny that. It's a fucking joke that he only gave you an Exceeds. I mean, that was O worthy! I read it myself."
"He's a prick," Ginny concluded. "It was O worthy."
Harry couldn't deny that. Snape had all but ignored Harry in class, knowing he couldn't humiliate him with questions any more since he was top of his year at Defense. Harry didn't offer to participate, continuing his philosophy from Umbridge's class to sit down and shut up during class. It had worked out marvelous so far.
"Oi, Harry, are you ready for tryouts on Saturday?" Demelza asked.
Harry glanced over at her. "The real question is, are you?"
Demelza laughed. "I'll blow your bloody robes off and leave you naked on the pitch."
Ginny let out a loud laugh, earning her several glares. Harry shifted in his chair.
"Oh, I guess I'll have to sit and watch tryouts then," Gemma said in a lazy tone, her lips curving. "Don't let that get out, Demelza, or else I won't get a good seat to the show."
Niamh shot Demelza a look. "Demelza, Harry is for Ginny's eyes only! You can't just poof his clothes out of existence!"
"I'm sorry I'm that good at Quidditch," Demelza replied. "I've been doing drills for bloody years, waiting for this moment."
"You do know that I have to pick who the best players are, right?" Harry explained.
While he liked Demelza and knew Ginny would love to play alongside her, he was captain. He couldn't just pick friends or people he liked for the team. He had to pick the right people for the team.
Demelza waved him off. "Yes, I know, and I'm not worried about that. Ginny and Katie are shoe-ins. I'm confident that I could beat every other person who has already signed up for tryouts."
"Your confidence astounds me, Dem," Niamh commented, her brows tugging down. "Tell me, where do I get confidence like that? I want some. Even a fourth of the confidence you have! That's all. Don't be greedy, just share a tad."
Demelza plucked something off her skin and blew it in Niamh's direction. She caught, well, nothing before she thanked Demelza. Harry only sucked in a breath, turning his attention to Ginny.
"Hey, are you almost done for the night?" Harry asked in a soft voice.
Ginny shrugged. "Depends on what you had in mind."
"Uh… well," Harry trailed off as he noticed the girls were trying to not be obvious in their listening and failing miserably. "I was invited for tea with my, you know, godmother. Wanted to know if you'd join us."
"Oh, yeah, of course," Ginny replied, smiling. "When is tea?"
"Seven. Tonight," Harry supplied.
"It's a date, Potter," Ginny replied, leaning in to press her lips against his.
"Oh, they're so adorable," Niamh said in a dreamy voice. "I want a boy to kiss like that randomly in the library."
Harry felt his neck grow hot as he pulled away from Ginny.
"Come here, Niamh, I'll give you some love," Gemma said, kissing Niamh's cheek who squealed and giggled.
"Gem!"
Madam Pince marched across the library, her hand on her hip as she told them to be quiet or else they would be thrown out. Gemma covered her mouth with her hands as Niamh buried her face in her folded arms on the table. Ginny pressed her nose against Harry's shoulder as Demelza just laughed.
"Enough!" Madam Pince said one last time before she stormed away from the table.
Demelza bit her bottom lip, her shoulders shaking. Ginny pulled her face away from Harry's chest and grinned at her friends.
"All right, who wants to help me avoid a T on my Transfiguration assignment before I have to leave for tea?" Ginny asked.
Gemma rolled her eyes as she rifled through a bunch of parchment. "Here, take my notes. I added some stuff in the text in the margins."
She slid the parchment across the table to Ginny.
"Ah, Gem, you're amazing!" Ginny exclaimed. "Did you put the wand motion in here too?"
Gemma's lips twitched. "Yes, Ginny, I know you need it. I drew arrows and everything."
Harry leaned over to see they were learning about conjuring inanimate objects. Ah, he remembered that. Ron had tried to conjure a sandwich which only had McGonagall forcing him to recite Gamp's Law word for word in front of the entire class from memory. By the tenth failed attempt, he had gotten an extra homework assignment which had him grumbling.
Harry studied and chatted with the girls for the next hour before it was time to leave for tea. Ginny hugged Demelza goodbye before she waved and blew kisses in Niamh and Gemma's direction. They caught the imaginary kisses and blew some back at Ginny. Harry just clutched the strap of his satchel before the girls turned their attention to Harry to say goodbye, giving him enthusiastic waves.
"Have fun you two!" Niamh exclaimed.
Harry and Ginny walked hand in hand out of the library as they made their way down to the dungeons. Ginny leaned into his side, chatting excitedly about Quidditch tryouts.
"I do think Demelza is the best Chaser to join the team," Ginny said, her fingers curling around his elbow. "Dean's probably the one to beat. He's rather sporty, but he's always kicking around a football and not flying, so who knows."
Harry raised his eyebrows at her. "You know what football is?"
Ginny glanced up at him. "Yes, I know what football is. Bill and Charlie used to play all the time. They learned at Hogwarts from some Muggleborn friends. They taught us all how to play. Not as much fun as Quidditch, but at least they let me join because I was a fast runner."
"I never played but I know the gist," Harry explained.
"Really? I would have thought you were a sporty little thing before Hogwarts given how natural you are at Quidditch," Ginny commented.
Harry shrugged. "I ran a lot," he replied, leaving out the bit that it was normally him running away from Dudley and his gang.
"Oh, are you fast, Potter?" Ginny asked, her eyebrows wiggling. "You think you could beat me?"
Harry grinned. "I do have longer legs than you. I could cover more ground quicker."
Ginny bumped her hip against his. "I've never seen you run. I bet I could take you."
Harry chuckled, knowing she probably could. She was far more athletic than he was, taking training as serious as Oliver did when it came to Quidditch. Harry was more laidback, just having fun with Quidditch and trying not to take it so seriously. He feared Quidditch would lose its luster if he devoted a lot of time to it.
They paused outside of Marlene's office and Harry sucked in a breath. He hated that he was so nervous. It seemed ridiculous. She was his godmother. She had been kind to him the couple of times he had seen her and in their letters over the summer. Class had been going well with her. She didn't treat him any differently than anyone else in the class, maintaining a professionalism that Harry appreciated. But she always smiled or waved at him when he entered the room, asking to speak with him after class in a more familiar way.
Knocking on the door, he waited until he heard Marlene's cheerful voice call to enter. Ginny grabbed the handle first, pushing it open without hesitating a moment. Harry walked into the room to see Marlene standing with Professor McGonagall as the two poured over a picture.
"Oh, Harry! Ginny! Hello!" Marlene greeted, waving them in. "Come in, Professor McGonagall was just showing me a picture of my seventh year Gryffindor Quidditch team! Come look."
"Mr Potter, Miss Weasley," Professor McGonagall greeted, peering at them over her glasses with a faint smile crossing her lips.
They made their way across the room, Harry stopping next to Marlene as he peered down at the photo in her hands. He could spot his dad right away, the Quidditch House Cup held above his head and the captain's badge gleaming on his robes. His glasses were askew on his face. Next to him, Harry recognized Marlene with her long ponytail, holding the Snitch. She looked so young and happy.
Professor McGonagall pointed out a boy in the front with a Beater's bat. "That is Kingsley Shacklebolt. He was a third year. Successfully hit a Bludger at Regulus Black, forcing him to pull out of the dive and led the way for Marlene to catch the Snitch with ease. It was a brilliant game."
"Oh, Kingsley never mentioned he played," Ginny said.
Something deep within Harry's chest twisted. Kingsley had never mentioned knowing James during the many times he shared dinner with them at Grimmauld Place nor even during their dueling lesson. Although, Sirius did seem familiar with him, the two often chatting like they had known each other prior to the Order. He supposed he never connected the dots.
"Mr Potter, Professor Dumbledore wanted me to let you know he has requested your presence on Saturday evening at seven in his office," Professor McGonagall relayed to him. "The password is licorice wand. I have also received word from your godfather that he will be signing you from school on Sunday morning at eight, so please don't be late to my office."
"Thank you, Professor," Harry replied, a tight smile on his face.
Professor McGonagall turned to Marlene. "Let me know if you need anything, all right? I've heard nothing but wonderful things so far from students."
"Thanks, Minerva," Marlene said in a sincere voice.
Professor McGonagall nodded in Harry and Ginny's direction before she left, shutting the door closed behind her. Marlene sighed, leaning against her desk and staring down at the photo for a few moments before she flipped it to show Harry.
"Do you have a copy of this or would you like it?" Marlene asked.
Harry swallowed, his head shaking. "I don't have a copy but it's yours."
"Nonsense! Happy belated birthday," Marlene said as she held it out for him. "I heard I missed it, but I hope you'll forgive me."
Harry accepted it, looking down at his laughing dad's face. "I'll forgive you this time."
Marlene laughed, waving at the two of them to sit down at the small table to the right where there was already tea and biscuits waiting for them. Harry slid the photo into the front pocket of his satchel as he followed Marlene and Ginny over to the table. Dropping his bag to the floor, he sat down and placed his hands in his lap.
"I, for one, am enjoying Potions a lot more since you started teaching," Ginny said as she took her spot next to Harry and reached out for the teapot. "Although, I could have done without the ice breaker."
Marlene sighed, her eyes rolling up to the ceiling. "I know! I know. I've already heard that from basically every single year except the first years. I think they kind of liked it."
Ginny reached for his tea cup and poured him some as well. He thanked her, glad to have something to do as he picked up the cup and leaned back in his chair.
"I heard you trained with Aurors last weekend," Marlene commented as she picked up a biscuit and sat it on her plate. "Seems like you were very impressive from what I heard."
Harry shrugged. "I realized I didn't know as much about dueling as I thought I did."
"It's a learning curve, yeah?" Marlene commented, her brows tugging down. "You learn the incantation and the movement, but there's too much information and not enough time to perfect the technique. If you're going into a career where you need to perfect the technique, then you do. That's why there's an Auror Academy, to go into it all even more in-depth. Train you for the job."
"Harry's being modest," Ginny interrupted. "He's the top of his year in Defense. Merlin, he could probably beat the top of the seventh years as well."
"You know, I was talking to Professor McGonagall about the extra lessons that Sirius is organizing for you," Marlene started, looking thoughtful. "I said it would be a good idea to have a dueling club at Hogwarts, to help hone all of your skills during this uncertain time. She said there was a dueling club a few years ago but it fell apart."
Harry nodded. "Yeah, the Defense professor at the time was a bit incompetent. Snape helped him with it, but it was shut down by the end of the year. It never started back up again."
"I was thinking of starting it back up," Marlene admitted, glancing at Harry. "Professor McGonagall told me that last year you ran an underground defense group where you were essentially the professor. My idea for the dueling club was breaking it up into two separate groups. Years one through four would be taught by professors and older students. I was hoping you'd be one of the older students, Harry, and even take a lead with it. Then years five through seven would receive more specialized training from professors and Aurors. I talked to Kingsley and Tonks and they were completely on board with it because Aurors are already stationed at the school anyway. What do you think?"
Ginny looked over at Harry. "I think it's brilliant. I think Harry would be the perfect person to take charge with the younger students."
Harry caught Ginny's eye. He couldn't help but worry who else would be picked to be student tutors for the younger years. Ron and Hermione had helped him tremendously with the D.A. but he had essentially decided what spells to work on each week and made all the major decisions.
"Professor McGonagall pulled up Defense grades with me," Marlene continued, pulling a piece of parchment out from her pocket. "Demelza Robins is top of the fifth-year class in Defense. Harry, you're top in your year. Deverell Rowle is top of the seventh-year class. So, I was thinking that would be the leaders of the student group, assuming that both Demelza and Deverell agree to it. Now, we would obviously invite other students to come help who want to, but you three are the top of the school so you would be in charge."
"Deverell Rowle is a Slytherin," Ginny pointed out.
Marlene raised her eyebrows. "And…?"
"And… nothing, I suppose," Ginny replied with a frown, shifting in her chair. "It's just that last year the Slytherins made it very clear they wanted nothing to do with Harry or the D.A. I'm fairly certain that Deverell was on the Inquisitorial Squad."
"Well, he could say no and then we'd pick another student leader," Marlene replied, not fazed by the information. "Nobody is being forced to participate or join. I mean, Harry, you could say no. That's perfectly acceptable too."
"No, I'll… I'll help," Harry agreed.
Marlene smiled. "Perfect. Now, since you ran the D.A. last year and know the most about who is most advanced in Defense, I'd ask you to think of a list of about ten to fifteen students across various houses and years to join in as student helpers for the younger years."
Harry tried to keep his face as neutral as possible, not particularly excited to take on the role of picking his fellow classmates especially if they were supposed to be from different years and houses. He definitely didn't know whose names from Slytherin to give for consideration.
"So, how long have you two been dating?" Marlene asked, changing the subject.
Letting out a little breath, he listened to Ginny talk and was happy to let her take the lead. Not for the first time, he wished he was more at ease with Marlene like he was with Sirius. There was just some awkwardness that hung between them, thick and daunting. Harry couldn't exactly pinpoint what it was except perhaps it was the memory gap. Or maybe Harry was seeing something in nothing.
Ginny idled her broom right next to Harry's, the two so close that their shoulders were touching. Her face pulled, watching the Beaters trying to hit the Chasers. Demelza threw her head back as though she were laughing, clearly showing off as she dived through one of the rings.
Harry pointed at one of the Beaters who barely missed Katie. "What's his name?"
"Ritchie Coote," Ginny supplied. "He's not bad. He doesn't pull his arm back enough to have more control over the direction he's hitting. He seems more hesitant, like he's holding back for some reason. That's one position you don't hold back on."
Harry nodded, leaning forward on his broom. His bottom lip slid between his teeth as he gnawed on it. Ginny kicked her legs up on the broom, crossing them at the ankles. Her hands gripped the broom behind her back as she settled into a comfortable position to watch.
"Demelza is the best Chaser," Harry murmured. "Next to Katie, of course."
Demelza jumped up, balancing on her broom with one foot in front of the other to stand on the broom just like how Ginny showed her last year. She caught a pass from Katie and then drew her right arm back before she hurtled the Quaffle at Cormac McLaggen, nearly knocking him in the head as it whooshed right by him through the hoop.
"ELZA! ELZA! ELZA!" the crowd chanted, no doubt started by Gemma and Niamh who were dancing in front of the crowd.
"I told you she was good," Ginny commented.
Harry looked over at her. "She's showing off though."
"If you tell her to reel it in, she will," Ginny assured him, dropping her legs to either side of the broom so she could lean forward and mimic Harry's position. "But when you're trying to win a coveted spot on a team, you're going to show off to be noticed. Plus, I told her to try to knock McLaggen unconscious. That prick is a good Keeper but we need Ron on the team. The only reason Ron would lose is because he lacks the confidence."
Harry rolled his eyes but his lips twitched upward. "Gin, you're brilliant yet scary, you know that, right?"
"Despite how much Ron and I fight, I love that fucking wanker," Ginny commented, her foot gently pushing against Harry's leg. "He deserves to be on the team. So Katie, Demelza, and I may or may not be attempting to give McLaggen a run for his money."
"You can't take it easy on Ron though," Harry pointed out. "He needs to know he won fair and square to boost his confidence."
McLaggen pulled away from the hoops, taking a lap around the pitch while Ron took position in front of the hoops. Ron rubbed his gloved hands on his trousers, his wide eyes watching as Katie swooped down to catch the Quaffle from Demelza and approached the hoops from the bottom to try to sneak-attack Ron.
"They know," Ginny confirmed. "Ron's strength is that he sees the entire pitch. He can follow the Quaffle and pretty accurately guess what Chaser will take the shot. You can't sneak up on him. The best way to get past Ron is to fake him out on what hoop you're going for. Align your body with one hoop, pitching your arm back like you're going to throw it but then change the direction at the last second to another hoop. McLaggen's strength is his size. It's best to throw the Quaffle back and forth so that McLaggen loses track of it and doesn't know what hoop to protect with the sheer mass of his body."
"I don't know whether to be horrified that you sound so much like Oliver Wood right now or completely turned on by your sheer knowledge," Harry said, a lopsided grin crossing his features. "I'm very conflicted."
Ginny wiggled her eyebrows. "Ah, good to know. You secretly fancied Oliver Wood. Oh, what I could do with that knowledge."
Harry snorted. "Give him long red hair and freckles and I would have been a goner."
Ginny laughed, knocking her shoulder against his. They watched as Demelza and Katie tossed the Quaffle back and forth quickly between them, but Ron didn't move from the center ring until he saw Demelza's arm pull back. He darted to the low right hoop and stopped the goal.
"See, I told them to do that to both Ron and McLaggen," Ginny explained. "McLaggen floundered, moving back and forth as they tossed it. Ron stayed still and waited patiently. McLaggen only stopped the goal because his foot just barely got to the Quaffle in time."
Harry stared at her, and Ginny wondered if she had crossed some unspoken line. She was honestly just trying to help, but she realized she hadn't even secured a place on the team herself. Well, she'd be shocked if she didn't make the team because she was by far the best player on the pitch, but she had assumed she was just helping.
"Sorry," she said, her face pulling.
"For what?" Harry asked, his brows furrowing below the frames of his glasses.
"I, well," Ginny let out a puff of air. "I just realized I sort of just did things without even asking you first."
"Oh," Harry replied, his head tilting up as he squinted into the sun. "I was just sitting here thinking what McGonagall was thinking making me captain over you. You obviously know the game a lot better than I do. I mean, I'm a fair Seeker but you know all the positions. You know everyone's strengths and weaknesses. You've way more observant. I sort of feel like an imposter."
Ginny cocked her head to the side. "I may know the game better, but you're a better leader. You proved that last year with the D.A. Being a captain is more about inspiring others and leading them than it is just knowing a bunch of shit."
Harry shrugged. "Does it make me a bad person that I don't know half of the names of people trying out?"
Ginny laughed, brushing her long ponytail behind her shoulder and pointing at one of the Beaters who had nearly knocked Katie off her broom. "That's Jimmy Peakes, third year. Look at the follow-through he has with the bat. That's what you're looking for in a Beater, someone who can follow-through in a nice smooth fashion and can land a hit. I already pointed out Coote. He's also a third year. Best friends with Peakes. They practice a lot together. Peakes' dad is a Beater for the Ballycastle Bats, so they know what they're doing."
Harry nodded, his gaze watching Peakes and Coote work in tandem to knock Demelza off her broom. "That's who you think should be Beaters?"
Before Ginny could answer, Gryffindors in the stands erupted in cheers as Ron flung himself off his broom to stop a shot from Katie. His right leg hooked around the handle, allowing him not to plummet to the ground. His face turned red as Gemma and Niamh led a chant of his name, their hands over their heads as they clapped.
"Not only are they decent Beaters, they know they have to work together and do it well," Ginny continued, grinning at her brother as he swung himself back on the broom. "Look at Dean over there. He's not passing the Quaffle a lot. He's hoarding it, wanting to get the shot in. Demelza and Katie pass it back and forth, knowing that you're only as good as your other teammates. If you can't rely on your fellow Chasers to pass to you when you're wide open, then your team is shit. Dean's not bad, but he wants to be in control more. Chasers need to pass. It's not about the glory of getting the shot but about your teammates being aware of who is in the best position to score."
"So, Ron as Keeper. Peakes and Coote as Beaters. You, Demelza, and Katie as Chasers?" Harry confirmed, not looking at her but rather their probable teammates.
"It's who I would pick," Ginny agreed. "McLaggen's a fair Keeper, but he's slow and has trouble being two steps ahead in strategy. Ron sees everything. He can predict where that Quaffle is going."
"Right, yeah, that makes sense," Harry said before gesturing his chin towards the players. "Why don't you get out there and actually try out as well so it doesn't look like I'm showing favoritism?"
Ginny laughed before leaning in for a kiss. Harry only grinned before he pressed his lips against hers. She didn't think she'd ever get used to just leaning in close to Harry silently demanding a kiss and having him oblige with her request. Nor did she ever think she'd get used to how sweet his lips and tongue always tasted, as though he had just eaten treacle tart even though he hadn't actually had any since dessert the previous night.
When they parted, Ginny dashed towards Katie and Demelza. Now that warm-ups were over with, Harry flew to the center of the pitch and stated that tryouts were about to officially begin. After breaking everyone up in teams, Harry blew the whistle and Ginny gave him a small thumbs up to indicate that it was going to go swimmingly. It did. Ron shined as Keeper, Coote and Peakes were the clear choice for Beaters, and Ginny, Demelza, and Katie worked together so seamlessly that no other combination of Chasers even made sense.
Sirius walked with Remus from his home in Hogsmeade towards the castle. While they made small talk, Sirius had a hard time concentrating on what his friend was saying. He hadn't heard back from Charlotte, though it wasn't surprising. It would take Hedwig a few days to even make it to France. Maybe Charlotte would fret for days on what to write back, if she did at all, like he had.
A few students stopped to stare at the pair but that didn't bother Sirius in the slightest. It wasn't anything knew. Sirius had never been bothered by the gossip about him that flew around Hogwarts when he was a teenager or in his adult life. It had just shifted over the years, first about how big of a disappointment he was to a great house, to how vile he was because he probably really did kill all those people.
They crossed the grounds of Hogwarts at a brisk pace. Sirius kept his head held high, his gaze roaming around them as he looked for Harry. Remus shoved his hands in his jacket pockets, staring at his shoes with his shoulders tense as though he expected someone to shout a slur at him any moment.
"Oi, Professor Lupin!" a voice shouted.
Sirius turned to see two teenage boys who had to be around Harry's age. They waved at Remus. Giving them a soft smile, Remus offered them a small wave as they passed.
Sirius snorted. "I'll never get used to hearing people call you Professor Lupin."
"Well, I'm sure this won't be the last time you hear it," Remus reasoned.
"At least Harry's still not calling you Professor Lupin," Sirius mused, squinting up at the sky. "James would have taken the absolute piss out of you."
Remus nodded. "Yeah, he would have."
Sirius licked his bottom lip, his gaze looking down at Remus. "It's funny. I once told Harry that there wasn't a day that went by that I didn't think of James," he said in a thick voice. "In the past month, I've gone days not thinking about James. I've been too busy worrying about Harry that James has just…"
Remus swallowed visibly. "I think James would prefer it that way. He wouldn't want us to wallow."
Sirius agreed, his gaze dropping down to the ground. "Who were the kids?"
"Dean and Seamus. They share a dorm with Harry and Ron," Remus supplied.
"Never heard of them," Sirius replied, glancing over at Remus. "Harry doesn't talk about anyone unless they have the last name Weasley."
"Harry was friendly with them, but I wouldn't call them friends," Remus added. "Harry always kept close to Ron and Hermione during my time here. If he wasn't with Ron and Hermione, then he was with the Quidditch team. He was always close with Fred and George in particular."
Sirius snorted. "Weasleys, what did I tell you?"
The two entered the castle. Sirius continued to look for Harry. They were a tad early for the meeting, but Sirius wanted to see Harry for a bit beforehand. He had no idea what Dumbledore had planned for these extra little lessons, but he knew Harry needed them. As much as Sirius was attempting to allow Harry to just be a kid for once, he knew there would come a time when Harry would have to step up into the forefront of the war. The prophecy had been about Harry, after all. No matter how much Sirius didn't want Harry to fight, he also knew it wouldn't be over until the prophecy came to fruition. Sirius would be damned if Harry wasn't ready.
"Sirius!" a familiar female voice called, causing the hair to rise on Sirius' arms.
He turned around slowly to see Marlene walking towards them, her face pulled in a thin line. She jutted her chin up, as though she was determined not to be intimated by him, and Sirius felt himself hunching lower to make himself smaller. Remus clapped Sirius on the back.
"Hello, Marlene," Remus greeted.
"Remus, hi," Marlene greeted before turning towards Sirius. "Can I talk to you for a second?"
"I'll wait for you outside Dumbledore's office," Remus said in a low tone and Sirius wanted to punch him like they were twenty-one again.
Sirius nodding, holding his breath as Marlene gestured towards the wall to get out of the way of students roaming about. Sirius leaned his side against the brick wall as he tugged his wand out of his pocket. He cast Muffliato to give them some privacy.
"Did Harry tell you about the Felix memory?" Marlene started.
Sirius nodded, having heard about it on the mirror after the very first day of class. "Yeah, he did."
"Was it, err, was it real?" Marlene pressed, her hands wringing in front of her.
Sirius understood the need to talk. Although, she could have easily asked Remus that question.
"Yes, it was. We knew the potion was up for grabs so we wanted to perfect the Draught of the Living Death to win. Fleamont, James' dad, wouldn't come right out and tell us how to do it. Made us actually work for it, but he helped us with tips and tricks to try. We brewed the potion all bloody summer and Fleamont critiqued it," Sirius explained. "Anyway, I had an idea and it blew up in my face. Too much of some ingredient. I don't even remember what, it's been so long. James did the right amount, won the potion. Snape was furious he lost, asked Slughorn after class what James did differently than he did."
Marlene's lips twisted. "What did you use the potion for?"
Sirius shrugged. "Some prank. I don't even remember."
Honestly, Sirius couldn't remember. All of their pranks blurred together, his school years feeling like they were a million years ago. Sometimes, it was hard to remember them. Like it had been someone else's life. Sirius just focused on Harry now. It was hard to remember a time when Harry hadn't been around and Sirius wasn't hyper-focused on the kid.
"I'm just glad I remembered something," Marlene admitted. "I always worry about what's real and not real."
Sirius nodded. "I could imagine," he said, shifting his weight. "Look, I want to apologize."
Marlene furrowed her brows. "For what?"
"For getting angry at Snape and yelling the last time I saw you," Sirius replied. "I didn't know you were there. I'm sure it validated every bad thought you ever had about me."
Marlene shot him an unreadable look. "I didn't… it wasn't… I was fine."
Sirius let out a breath he didn't know he was holding. He had never been so uncertain with Marlene before, like he didn't know what to say or how to act around her. When they were younger, things had been easy between them. So easy that it was impossible not to fall in love with her. Now, he worried about what he said or the fact that he was so tall that he towered over her in some intimidating way or that she was thinking about some twisted memory involving him and wanted to run as far away as possible.
"I only have a handful of memories," Marlene admitted. "Some of them, I don't even know if they're real. Being around people from my past isn't helping as much as I thought it would. I really think…" she trailed off, clearing her throat as her hazel eyes stared up at him. "I really think you're the key."
Sirius blinked. "Me?"
"It was you who Bellatrix wanted to manipulate in my mind," Marlene whispered. "I think getting to know the real you and regaining real memories of you may help."
"You're in this position because of me, Marlene," Sirius replied, his body growing tense. "Bellatrix manipulated you to hurt me. If it wasn't for me–"
"I'd be dead," Marlene said in a flat tone. "We had this discussion before, Sirius. Remember?"
Sirius sucked in a breath. "This isn't exactly easy for me."
"You think it's easy for me? I have memories of you hitting me and hexing me and…" Marlene trailed off.
Sirius screwed his eyes shut as she talked. He fucking hated Bellatrix. He wanted to torture her to death, to hurt her in the same way she had hurt Marlene. Bellatrix was evil incarnate, which wasn't surprising. She had learned everything she knew from the evilest person that had ever walked the planet: Walburga Black.
Fingers wrapped around Sirius' wrist. His eyes flew open to see Marlene looking uncertainly up at him. Her thumb twitched against the inside of his wrist, her shoulders trembling.
"I'm trying really hard, Sirius," Marlene whispered, tears brimming her eyes. "I just want my life back. I don't want to be afraid anymore."
Sirius' eyes dropped to her hand around his wrist. "You knew everything, Marlene," he said in a hoarse voice. "I think you were the only person that I told everything to. You knew horrors of my past that I didn't feel comfortable even telling James about. You knew exactly who I was and what my family had done to me and… and you stayed with me. You never ran away, you never even flinched. I wish you would have run. I can't stand the fact that you were hurt because I loved you."
Sirius' gaze locked with Marlene's. Her face softened, her shoulders ceasing in their trembling. He stayed perfectly still, not wanting to startle her with any sudden movements.
"Bellatrix is unhinged," Sirius whispered, his eyes searching hers. "It's said that the Black family has a touch of madness about them, no doubt from all the inbreeding to keep the line pure. Bellatrix and my mother were cut from the same cloth, two incredibly cruel women. I suffered by their hands. I suffered at the hands of my father, my aunt, and my uncle as well. I swore I would never hurt another living soul like they hurt me. I know that may not mean much to you, but I promise you, I would never even dream of hurting you."
Marlene's lips twitched, her thumb brushing against the inside of his wrist. "I can't explain it, but I feel that when I look at you. It's like my mind and my heart are telling me two different things. I'm inclined to listen to my heart."
Sirius swallowed. "You shouldn't. While I would never hurt you, I'm not a good person, Marlene. You should want to run as far away from me as you can."
Marlene's eyes searched his. "Is that what you tell our godson? To run as far away from you as possible?"
Sirius' face pulled. He was selfish when it came to Harry, craving them to be a family more than anything else in the world. There were plenty of people Harry would be better off with than him. But Sirius loved the kid more than anyone else in the entire world and he didn't want to let him go.
"No," Sirius replied in a strained voice.
He wracked his brain to say something else, to be able to explain to her that he was the only one who could protect Harry because he had knowledge that no one else really did, but no words escaped his lips. Besides, Marlene was better off without Sirius. She should want to run away from him, to be nowhere near him. Harry didn't have a choice, his options so limited on who could protect him. Marlene did. She didn't need him.
"Sirius!"
Turning at his name being called, Sirius caught sight of his godson. Harry smiled at the pair of them, but Ginny grabbed his arm with both hands. He looked down at her, clueless as to why she had stopped him. Marlene's fingers fell from his wrist and he took a step away from her as Ginny whispered something to Harry. The kid turned, looking at them with a furrowed brow but the contact had already been broken.
Sirius forced a strained smile on his lips, kicking away from the stone wall and closing the space between them. He pulled Harry into a tight embrace in greeting, pressing a kiss to the side of his messy hair in greeting.
"Hey, kid," Sirius murmured as he pulled away before turning to Ginny. "Hello, Ginny."
Harry shifted. "Did I, err, interrupt something?"
"No," Sirius said in a rush, his head shaking. "You're fine. We were just talking."
Ginny snorted but didn't say anything. Harry didn't seem entirely convinced as he looked down at his girlfriend.
"Dumbledore and Remus are waiting for us," Sirius announced. "You ready?"
Harry nodded, bidding goodbye to Ginny. Sirius wrapped his arm around his godson's shoulders, tugging him close to his side. He didn't even care if he embarrassed the kid, nor did he think Harry even cared about that. Sirius could remember not caring whenever Fleamont and Euphemia came to Hogwarts to sign them out for a lunch or just to check in on him after everything that happened with his family. He had never been embarrassed by the affection they showed him, having craved parental love his entire life. He relished in it, savoring every single moment. Now, he just missed their comforting affection.
"You know, I'm not a kid," Harry started, glancing up at Sirius. "You can talk to me and such."
Sirius looked down at Harry, catching his gaze. "You're my kid," he emphasized, his lips curving. "I'm the parent and you're the kid. I'm not going to burden you with my problems."
"But I care," Harry pressed.
"Yeah, I know, but tough shit, Harry," Sirius replied. "I'm not your friend. I'm your parent."
Harry blinked up at him, his brows knitting. "So that means we can't talk about things that bother us?"
"I didn't say that," Sirius said with a sigh. "I absolutely want you to talk to me and tell me what's bothering you."
"But you won't do the same with me?" Harry asked in a flat tone, his head cocking to the side.
"You know, I talked to your grandfather about my problems a lot," Sirius admitted, his hand rubbing along Harry's arm. "He listened and he offered me advice and he never once judged me. But I cannot recall a time when Fleamont ever told me any of his problems. He had them. All that shit with Fergus Belby and the stress he was under when your family went into hiding. You could see it clear as day on his face. Fleamont wore his emotions on his face just like you do. But he never once burdened James or I with his troubles. He talked to Euphemia. He talked to his friends. He talked to people his own age or older that he respected."
Harry looked thoughtful for a few moments before he glanced up at Sirius. "You said before that we don't keep things from each other because we're too close for that."
Sirius smiled tightly at Harry. "You're right. We are too close for that."
"So…?" Harry trailed off, his eyebrows raising.
Sirius sighed. "Harry, look, I absolutely don't hold anything back when I talk to you. You could ask me anything and I would be completely honest with you and give you as much detail as I can."
"Except for personal stuff, yeah?" Harry interrupted in a clipped tone.
Sirius counted to five in his lead. "The fact of the matter is, Harry, that no matter how much you want to help, you don't have the life experiences yet to help. I need people my own age or older to talk to. If I need to talk, I go to Remus or Andy or Ted. They're in the same spot in life that I am. Despite how much you hate it, you're only sixteen. Let me tell you, when I was sixteen, I knew nothing, despite thinking I knew everything. Even at thirty-six, I feel like I don't know as much as I should. Life is just one big learning experience where we just flounder because we don't know what we're doing. If I spilled out my troubles to you, you would just worry. I don't want that. But if something was truly wrong, I would let you know. I'm just… I don't know. Lost in thought a lot, I suppose, right now."
Harry rolled his eyes and Sirius frowned. "Right."
"Harry, there's a good twenty years difference between us," Sirius pressed. "Twenty years is a long time."
Harry frowned, his jaw clenching. "Maybe I could help if you gave me the opportunity," he said in a bitter tone.
Sirius shrugged. "Maybe, but it's not something you need to worry about, Harry. I'm fine. I'm just working some shit out with Marlene, all right? It's… we're trying to be friends."
"You don't want to be more than friends with her?" Harry inquired.
Sirius squinted down at him. "You remember how I told you I ran away from home, right?"
Harry nodded as Sirius stopped walking. He pulled Harry off to the side, his hands gripping the kid's shoulders. Sirius looked at Harry in the eye.
"This is me not keeping anything from you, all right?" Sirius started. "I was raised to be an heir. I wasn't raised as a son or someone to love. I was raised in an organization, not a family. My thoughts and feelings didn't matter, because I was constantly being told what I should do and what I should believe and how I should think. When I went to Hogwarts and I was sorted into Gryffindor, my eyes opened. I had so many new experiences and I learned so many extraordinary things. Suddenly, my thoughts and feelings mattered to my friends and to my professors. I was encouraged to do things that I only ever dreamed of before. My parents didn't like losing control over me so I was punished. Severely. I was seen as a troublemaker and seen as someone who was defiant. How dare I be an individual person? How dare I not just blindly follow my family like I had been? They were convinced I needed an attitude adjustment, that I needed to be broken beyond repair before they could fix me."
Harry swallowed, his face pulling. "That sounds awful."
"It all came to a head when I was sixteen," Sirius continued, his voice strained. "I told you I ran away from home and never went back. What I didn't tell you was that they had essentially tortured me. They wanted me to obey and they thought hurting me was the way to accomplish that. They wanted to twist and manipulate my thoughts, much like what Bellatrix did to Marlene. They knew just how to hurt me for maximum impact. I swear to Merlin, I was close to breaking. I couldn't take much more. Then my Uncle Alphard helped me escape that house and your grandparents shielded me from Walburga and Orion. It's why I declined being the Secret Keeper for your parents. I was afraid the next time my family got their hands on me, I would break. I think they knew just how close they had been the first time. I would never be able to live with myself if I had given you up."
"I don't think you would have given us up," Harry whispered, his voice sincere.
Sirius offered in a tight smile. "That's what James said to me when I declined. He said I loved you all too much. I did. I loved you all so fucking much that it hurt. But I had also been dealing with Marlene's supposed death at the time. Let me tell you, I blamed myself for that. I was supposed to be with her that night but I didn't go at the last minute. Instead, I went to play with you, to give your parents a little date night on the back deck because James had been struggling with the isolation. In my grief, I was drunk off my arse half the time. I wasn't in a good place. I had already felt responsible for Marlene. I didn't want to be responsible for anything happening to the three of you."
"But Marlene's not dead. She's right here," Harry reasoned. "I don't understand."
"You can't just pick up where you left off, Harry. It's not that easy," Sirius explained, gripping Harry's shoulders a tad tighter. "I mourned Marlene's death. I had come to terms with what happened fourteen-odd years ago. Now she's back with no memories of the way we were. Because of what Bellatrix did to her. She accomplished with Marlene what she tried to accomplish with me. I can't even begin to explain the complete mindfuck that does to you, or the guilt that merely being around me caused her whole life to be upended completely. I can't describe to you the sheer panic I have knowing that Bellatrix wouldn't hesitate to come after you next, to hurt you because I love you."
"You don't have to worry about me, Sirius," Harry said in a soft voice. "I'm safe at Hogwarts."
Sirius' jaw clenched, his hands moving up to cup Harry's face. "All I do is worry about you. Because I don't know for how long you're going to be safe at Hogwarts."
Harry's brows furrowed. "What do you mean?"
"You're only safe here because Voldemort is afraid of Dumbledore," Sirius explained, his thumbs brushing against Harry's cheeks. "Voldemort has tried and failed to lure you to him multiple times. He knows he can't touch you in this castle. You won't be able to leave at night with how well the castle is locked down at night. Remus and I agreed we needed to divulge our extensive knowledge of every single way out of this castle in order to protect it, to protect you. But if Dumbledore were gone, Voldemort would have no issue marching into this castle himself and dragging you from your bed."
Harry stared at Sirius, his chest heaving. "You think Voldemort is going to try to kill Dumbledore?"
"It's not just what I think. It's what the entire Order thinks," Sirius explained. "If that should happen, we have to run. You won't be able to stay here. Why do you think I'm securing a home in a remote area? We need some place highly guarded and protected to run to. It was imperative that we rescue Fidelius, so that we along with the rest of the Order can still utilize the Fidelius Charm because there's nothing more secure than that at this moment in time. I won't make the same mistakes I did the first time around. I already know that Remus is the only person I can trust. I was so stupid the first time around, blinded by my own paranoia and panic. The Marlene stuff is just… it's rather silly right now, Harry. There are so many more important things happening that need my attention. You are my number one priority. You always have been and you always will be, all right?"
Harry didn't say anything, his gaze never wavering from Sirius during their entire conversation. Sirius could see the brooms flying around his head, the emotions that swarmed in his eyes. All Sirius could do was offer him the most reassuring smile he could muster.
"Let me worry about this stuff, okay?" Sirius whispered. "That's my job. Your job is play Quidditch. Study hard. Improve your dueling. Leave everything else to me, yeah?"
"I don't know how," Harry replied in a small voice.
Sirius' brows tugged down. "What do you mean?"
"I mean… I don't know. I've just… I've always done everything that needed to be done," Harry replied, wincing as his gaze fell to the floor. "Nobody's ever just taken care of things. I've always done everything myself."
Sirius bent down to try to catch Harry's eye. "Oi, you don't think I don't know how that feels? I didn't have anyone looking out for my best interests until your grandparents came along. It's odd at first, trusting someone like that when you never had anyone to ever rely on before. But it's a nice feeling to just… be a kid. I want that for you. I want you to just be a kid for once."
Harry looked up. "I'm on my way to get special lessons from Dumbledore. I hardly think I can be just be a kid."
Sirius chuckled, his hands raising up in the air as a smile flitted across his face. "You got me there. Okay, well, most of the time then. I mean, you are the Chosen One," he teased as Harry huffed. "So you've got some responsibilities. But you've also got me. And Remus. You're not in this alone anymore."
Harry pursed his lips to the side. "You know, I used to wonder what it would be like to have some long-lost relative come into my life and leave the Dursleys. Then you did. And even though I couldn't live with you at first, I was really happy. I felt like for the first time ever that I had someone who was an adult that I could talk to about things. Now, well, now I can't help but wonder what it would have been like if you raised me. How different things would have been. I know I'll never get the answer to that question and I don't blame you or anything, but… I do think we would have been really happy. I don't think things would have gotten as bad as they did. Knowing you, you probably would have pulled me from school after the Philosopher's Stone incident."
Sirius laughed, offering Harry an upside-down smile. "You're not wrong. I either would have demanded a job at this blasted school to watch you like a fucking hawk or pulled you altogether. Maybe we'd have moved to France or some shit."
A lopsided smile crossed Harry's face. "I'd convince you to stay."
"Oh yeah?" Sirius asked, ruffling Harry's hair before pulling him into his side. He glanced down at his right wrist. They were definitely late. "I'm the parent. I make the decisions."
"I saw how frustrated you were with the crosswords written in French," Harry replied as they made their way down the corridor once more. "You couldn't do it. I would have given you a couple of weeks before we moved back to England."
Sirius let out a bark-like laugh, crushing Harry to his side. "You're such a mouthy little shit, you know that? You're supposed to respect your elders, not sass them."
Harry chuckled next to him, trying to push away from Sirius. But Sirius hunkered down, holding his godson close to him. Harry gave up trying, accepting the tight embrace.
"Hey, can I ask you a question? Since we're being all honest with one another," Harry asked.
Sirius side-eyed the top of his godson's head. "That doesn't fill me with instant panic when you put it like that, but yeah, sure, ask away."
A beat passed. Sirius eased his grip on Harry so he could see the kid's face, which seemed deep in thought.
"You know how you gave me that very mortifying talk in France?" Harry asked.
"Fuck me, do you need a more detailed one already?" Sirius asked, his face pulling.
"No!" Harry said in a rush. "But you spent a lot of time talking about how no baby is a mistake. They're just a surprise. I guess I was wondering if you harped on about that so much because I was a surprise?"
Sirius looked down at Harry, making sure to catch the kid's eye before he spoke. "You were the best surprise to ever surprise. Nobody was upset by your unexpected arrival, all right? You were this bright ray of sunshine in a rather bleak world. We were all instantly in love with you from the moment you were born."
"Really?" Harry pressed.
"Really," Sirius confirmed. "I, for one, was never happier that James botched a spell so spectacularly before."
Harry's face pulled. "Too much information, Sirius."
Sirius grinned. "You asked!"
"No, I didn't ask for details," Harry protested as they rounded the corner and saw Remus standing outside of the headmaster's office. "I was just curious if I was a mistake."
"A baby can never be a mistake," Sirius stressed. "Were you not listening to me in France? Do I need to have another talk with you before I leave today?"
Harry rolled his eyes. "I'm good. Thanks, though."
"I can have Remus give you the talk," Sirius suggested.
Remus looked up at the mention of his name, a question clear on his face as he looked between the two. Harry just shook his head, giving the password before making his way up the staircase. Remus looked at Sirius.
"It's nothing. He's being dramatic," Sirius replied before he followed his godson up the staircase.
"Why do I feel like I'm stuck in the past right now?" Remus asked as he rushed up the stairs behind Sirius, trying to keep up. "I swear to Merlin I've had this same exact conversation twenty years ago with a different Potter and you in the same exact location."
"Same shit, different day, Remus," Sirius replied as Harry knocked on Dumbledore's door.
Once Dumbledore called for them to enter, Harry pushed the door open. Sirius noticed the Pensieve sitting on Dumbledore's desk and he couldn't help the coil that occurred in his stomach. He wasn't prepared to give any memories today, nor could he even fathom what Dumbledore would want to see.
Sirius made sure to claim a seat on the end of the row of three chairs set out, forcing Harry to be squished between them so he would know they both had his back. Leaning back in the chair, he folded his hands neatly in his lap as he rested his ankle on his knee. He cast a glance over at Harry to see him sitting up straight as though a board had been attached to his back. There was an apprehension as well as eagerness etched into the lines of his face, in the way his brow dipped and his jaw set.
"Ah, glad to see you could all make it," Dumbledore started. "I thought perhaps we could start with a bit of a pureblood history lesson," he continued as he turned his attention to Sirius. "Tell me, Sirius, what do you know of the Gaunt family?"
Sirius turned to look at Dumbledore, his brows furrowed. "The Gaunts? They were a family that died out due to the insane amount of inbreeding. They were considered practically pureblood royalty at one point, descended from Slytherin himself, and even after their abysmal downfall, the pureblood community liked to pretend that they didn't have such a dreadful end."
Dumbledore nodded. "What do you know of the last of the Gaunts?"
"Not much. The heir wound up in Azkaban for killing a couple of Muggles, died there and ended the line," Sirius replied, shrugging.
Dumbledore turned his attention to Harry. "What can you tell me about the last known heir of Slytherin, Harry?"
"Wasn't it Voldemort?" Harry replied.
Sirius glanced over at Harry.
"He opened the Chamber of Secrets," Harry continued. "The memory of Tom Riddle told me he was descended from Slytherin. If the Gaunts were also descended from Slytherin, wouldn't that mean that Voldemort was a Gaunt?"
Dumbledore smiled. "Ten points to Gryffindor. Yes, Harry, Voldemort's mother was a Gaunt. His father was a Muggle. I'd like to show you a memory that I acquired from a wizard named Bob Ogden with an encounter he had with a young woman named Merope Gaunt, her brother Morfin Gaunt whom you correctly identified, Sirius, and their father Marvolo Gaunt," he explained as he rose from behind his desk. "They lived in a town known as Little Hangleton where Merope lived a very dismal and short life. The only spark of joy she seemed to experience was a fascination with a man named Tom Riddle, the father of her child and the man she named the most infamous wizard after."
"Wait, you want to show us the Gaunts?" Sirius asked, his brow furrowing. "I thought you were going to train Harry."
Dumbledore clasped his hands in front of him, his gaze peering at Sirius over his moon-shaped glasses. "I hear that Gawain and his Aurors have Harry's dueling education well taken care of. I would like to give Harry the power of knowledge, of knowing one's opponent thoroughly. For you see, to fully understand Lord Voldemort, you must understand his beginnings."
Sirius nodded, rising slowly from his chair. This certainly wasn't what he had been expecting. Although, if he were being honest with himself, he wasn't quite sure what he had expected. He placed a comforting hand on Harry's shoulder as the four of them leaned over the Pensieve, falling into the absolute squalor that was the Gaunt home.
Remus struggled with what he had seen. The outright abusive conditions of the Gaunt home and the filth that they lived in. He had heard about people being Parselmouths, but he had never heard anyone talk in Parseltongue personally before. While he also knew that Harry could talk and understand Parseltongue, it was eerie to listen to Harry translate the conversations between the Gaunts with ease. Remus tried to keep his disturbed expression at bay, not wanting to make Harry feel upset by the ability. It was extraordinary after all. Sirius had stared at Harry like he had never seen anything like him the moment he stared translating, though luckily his features quickly schooled into his mask of indifference before Harry sought out his approval.
Remus let himself into Nymphadora's flat because he practically lived there anyways. He spent nearly every night with her as the two slipped into a comfortable routine of living together without officially living together. Remus only kept a toothbrush and a comb there. No clothes. No personal effects. Nothing. Although, he didn't think Nymphadora would actually care if he did.
His nose wrinkled upon entering the flat, his thoughts about the Gaunt family long gone from his mind. He raced towards the kitchen to see smoke coming from a skillet on the stove. Nymphadora cursed as she grabbed the metal handle of the pan, burning herself. She cried out, dropping the pan back on the burner and shaking her hand.
"Dora, what in Merlin's name is going on?" Remus asked as he rushed forward to inspect Nymphadora's red palm.
"I was cooking dinner, but I'm shit at it!" Nymphadora lamented. "I know I make fun of Sirius for burning water, but I'm not any better."
Remus reached over to turn off the burner, his gaze landing on the black strips in the skillet. He winced before he wrapped an arm around Nymphadora and led her to the cupboard where a few simple healing supplies were. He pulled out a burn balm and gently massaged it into her tender skin.
"Why are you cooking?" Remus asked. "It's nearly ten in the evening."
"Mum and Dad said they wanted to come for dinner tomorrow, so I thought I'd make sure I could actually cook something," Nymphadora explained in a miserable tone. "I don't know if you've noticed, but if we don't go somewhere to eat, you normally cook and I just… linger."
Remus caught her eye. "I would have cooked tomorrow. You just had to ask."
Leaning down, he pressed a peck to her lips before he made his way over to the stove. He grabbed a tea towel before he lifted the pan off the burner and took it over to the sink, pouring cold water on it and letting it sizzle.
"Why were you so late?" Nymphadora asked. "I thought you had a meeting with Dumbledore, Sirius, and Harry."
Remus glanced back at her. "I did. It was a very long meeting. I learned all about Voldemort's parents."
"Oh," Nymphadora replied. "Who are his parents?"
"Merope Gaunt and a Muggle named Tom Riddle," Remus supplied, pulling out his wand and Vanishing the burned poultry from the sink. "The Gaunts were certainly a colorful bunch."
Nymphadora squinted at him. "You say that like I should know who the Gaunts are."
Remus raised his eyebrows. "Oh, I just assumed you did since Sirius did. But I suppose Andy wasn't a pureblood fanatic. Uh, they were a very inbred and crazy pureblood family descended from Slytherin."
Nymphadora shimmied her shoulders. "Oooh, inbred and crazy? Maybe the Blacks are related to them as well. We're certainly a very inbred and crazy bunch. Have you heard stories about Sirius' dad's side of the family? They're the really crazy ones. Which, I know, surprising, because my side has Bellatrix, but you don't truly know crazy until you hear about Hesper and Sirius Black and their crazy arse sons Arcturus and Lycoris."
"I don't think I even want to know," Remus replied, knowing the surface Black family horrors were enough to make him want to vomit. "But you don't speak Parseltongue, so you can't be Gaunt descendants."
Nymphadora snapped her fingers before pointing at him. "But is it a recessive or a dominant gene? Maybe the crazy inbred Black family genes counteracted the crazy inbred Gaunt genes. They were both too pure that it canceled out all their special little abilities. You know, my mum said that the Metamorphmagus gene used to run in the Black family but the inbreeding made it not appear until me. All it took was some Muggleborn blood to bring it to the forefront again! The last known Black before me to have the ability was Phineas Nigellas' grandfather. Fun fact. His name was, get this, Regulus. The Blacks certainly are very unique in their naming abilities. Sadly, that abysmal naming ability stayed despite all the inbreeding because my mother thought Nymphadora Ophelia was a perfectly acceptable name for a child."
"I don't know enough about pureblood genetics to give you an even remotely intellectual answer," Remus replied, an amused smile crossing his lips.
"Don't worry, I have enough Muggle blood in me that I won't give our children horrid names," Nymphadora said in a casual tone.
His smile fell as he felt the blood drain from his face in an instant. "What?"
"We should name our kids something normal. Like John or Mary or, or hey, your mum's name was Hope! That's cute," Nymphadora prattled on.
"Dora, I can't have kids," Remus whispered, his eyes searching her face.
Nymphadora stilled. "Oh, you can't? Are you sure? I mean, do you know for a fact that you're shooting blanks? I mean, if I don't need to take the potion every month, I'd be a lot less moody."
Remus stared at her. How could she not understand that he would curse any potential child he would father? He didn't even know she wanted kids, had never mentioned kids in over the year that he had known her. If that's what she wanted in life, that was fine, but Remus couldn't be a part of it.
"I could pass on my…" Remus trailed off, gesturing at himself.
Nymphadora blinked. "Your werewolf problem? Remus, love, that's a disease, not a genetic disorder. You can't pass down a disease. At least, I don't think you can."
"Is that really a risk you want to take?" Remus pressed.
"I mean, I don't think it could be passed down. If it did, we would just deal with it," Nymphadora replied with a shrug.
Remus' eyes widened. "What? You want to watch a one-month-old baby transform into a monster? What would you do if that happened? I'm no help, I'll try to fucking eat you."
Nymphadora burst out laughing. Remus felt the heat rise in his chest, his eyes rolling to glance at the ceiling.
"You won't bloody eat me, Remus," Nymphadora said in a light tone. "Sirius says you're a docile, albeit grumpy, little pup on Wolfsbane."
Remus wanted to punch Sirius in that moment. "I would never want to inflict what I went through on any sort of child," he said in a steady voice, his eyes staring at her unblinkingly. "I wouldn't wish this infliction on my worst enemy."
Nymphadora closed the space between them, her hands clutching his. She beamed up at him, but it didn't squash his annoyance in the slightest.
"You wouldn't be the person you are today without the experiences you went through," Nymphadora whispered, giving his hands a squeeze. "I can't imagine the isolation or the pain you went through as a child and even now as an adult. But I see it in the way you constantly push everyone away and keep people you love at arm's length. You're afraid to let anyone into your life because you've been shunned for so long for something that wasn't your fault. I understand you would never put anyone through what you went through. If I was concerned that this little problem of yours could be passed down to our child, I would never take the risk. Not because I wouldn't love the child but because of how cruel society is and how much pain the child would go through. But this isn't genetic, Remus. I've never heard of a werewolf having a werewolf child."
"It might not be documented," Remus whispered.
"I think it would be pretty big news myself," Nymphadora replied, her eyebrows raising towards her pink hair. "They love to make werewolves out to be savages in the papers."
"Nymphadora…" Remus trailed off.
"I'm not saying I want to have your baby right now, Remus," Nymphadora assured. "I am in no way, shape, or form ready. But one day, when the world settles and things are calm… I think you'd make a wonderful stay-at-home dad. Mum and Dad could take the baby on full moon nights. I'll ask Sirius to help me become an Animagus. It'll be fine. It'll be our life, just the way we want it."
Remus swallowed. The thought terrified him and he couldn't understand how Nymphadora was so positive about it all. He just stared at her, letting her calmness wash over him. Slowly, he bent down and captured her lips against his and wondered what he did to deserve her in his life because she had a way of squashing even his worst fears. But Remus knew deep down, it wasn't a risk worth taking.
Hope you enjoyed the newest chapter! Don't forget to drop a kind review. They motivate me to keep on track and keep on plugging away! Remember, if you don't like what you read, just click the x.
Special thanks to Bell for editing. Special thanks to prewettpotter for suggesting we give Hermione a boyfriend so she can fade into the background.