"Brumous"
"Chapter Thirty-One: Cepheus Black"
Harry tried to squash his irritation as he exited the Charms professor's office. Clearly, Charlotte was going to reveal something major to Sirius. Harry was sent away like a child, like he always was. Harry glanced over at Cepheus. Was the other one being designated as each other's minder for the day? Harry's jaw tightened. He should have stayed in England because he didn't understand why Sirius even wanted him to come if he was just going to be sent away to tour Beauxbatons instead of being involved in the big conversations.
Harry's face pulled as his eyes trailed down a big golden statue of… well, Harry wasn't sure what the statue was even supposed to be. There was a lot of gold and sparkle to the castle that Hogwarts lacked. Harry preferred Hogwarts a lot more to the bright and cheerful Beauxbatons.
Cepheus grabbed Harry's elbow, stopping him from continuing down the corridor. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you about… well, any of it."
Harry stared at him.
"Mum says I need to think before I speak sometimes," Cepheus continued. "I was really excited and nervous about today. I feel like I've missed out on so much stuff and, and now I have a cousin and I'm pretty sure you hate me."
Harry blinked as he relaxed. "Cepheus."
"It's not that I don't believe you, it's just… well, that's what some people say because nobody's ever survived the Killing Curse," Cepheus continued in a rush. "That it wasn't really the Killing Curse. But if you say it was, I believe you."
Harry let out a low sigh. "I've had dreams of… green light and such. So I think it was that," he explained, shoving his hands into his trouser pockets. "And I don't hate you."
A smile crept on Cepheus' face. "Well, that's a relief. I was just curious about, you know, you."
Harry nodded. "Everyone is. I'm used to it."
Cepheus shifted his weight. "It's not because of the monikers or the tournament though. I'm curious because we're family, you know? You probably know so much about our family and, well, I wish I knew that stuff."
Harry snorted. "Sirius is annoyingly tight-lipped about things, especially all things Black family related. Most of what I know has been through other people and just a little bit from Sirius."
Cepheus laughed. "Must be a family thing then! Mum doesn't tell me anything. She once had a picture of my dad as a kid standing with four other people and wouldn't tell me any of their names. I'm assuming one was Uncle Sirius. There was an older boy who looked like my dad."
"The others were three girls, I'm assuming?" Harry asked, thinking of the three Black sisters.
Cepheus nodded enthusiastically. "Yes! Can you tell me about them? There were a blonde and two dark haired girls."
Harry searched Cepheus' eager face. He imagined that's what he looked like himself when he was younger and sitting hungrily in front of the Mirror of Erised. He would have given anything for even the most minuscule crumb of information at that age. Anything that could make his family seem real and not some fantasy.
"They're sisters, your dad's cousins," Harry replied because he really wasn't telling him anything he wouldn't find out. He was certain that if Andromeda found out about him, she'd be buying a Portkey for France. Andromeda and Ted were extremely family oriented. "Andromeda Tonks, Bellatrix Lestrange, and Narcissa Malfoy. Although, honestly, only Andy is worth knowing. Her husband Ted is a Muggleborn."
Harry peered at Cepheus carefully for any sign of reaction but there wasn't any. A sigh of relief escaped his lips. At least Cepheus wasn't a blood supremacist like his father.
"They have a daughter named Nymphadora but don't call her that," Harry continued. "Everyone calls her Tonks, her last name, but if she's close with you she lets you call her Dora."
"Are you close with the Tonks family then?" Cepheus asked, leaning against the wall.
"Yeah, they're all great. Dora is an Auror. Ted is a Healer – my Healer actually. Andy is a Potioneer at the big hospital in London," Harry explained, not being able to help the fond smile that spread across his lips. "Andy is the one you want to talk to if you want to know all things Black. Sirius' parents are actually second cousins and she went into excruciating detail about the family tree and annoyed Sirius."
Cepheus' face pulled. "Second cousins? That's gross."
Harry's lips pulled. "That's just the tip of the iceberg with the Black family."
Cepheus looked torn between laughing and looking mortified. Harry couldn't help but laugh at his expression. As soon as Harry laughed, Cepheus started laughing. The tension between them seemed to have eased. While Cepheus definitely looked like Sirius in pictures Harry had seen of his godfather as a teenager, Harry knew he looked like his father. Harry vaguely wondered if anyone would see the pair of them together and think of Sirius and James.
"What else can you tell me?" Cepheus asked, an easy smile gracing his pale face. "Maybe we can work together to force my mum and Uncle Sirius from keeping things from us. Certainly, a dual attack strategy would work."
Harry stilled. While he didn't want to keep things from Cepheus, he also didn't want Sirius to be upset with him. He had never actually seen Sirius angry before, at least not directed towards him. Harry had no idea what kind of a disciplinarian Sirius actually was. Harry knew Sirius was nothing like his aunt and uncle. It wasn't like Sirius was going to smack him across the head or lock him up and deny him food. But he also had a very good relationship with Sirius and he didn't want to tarnish that for someone he didn't even know.
Except, hadn't he been angry when he found out Remus had taught him and not even mentioned he knew his parents for months? Then, to find out just how close Remus and James had been, it was almost unthinkable. He couldn't have imagined not telling someone the information they craved about their dead parents who they never got to know. He felt some sort of responsibility to break the cycle.
"Uh…" Harry trailed off, debating his options. "Look, I'm not supposed to say much."
Cepheus frowned, his arms crossing over his chest. "Why?"
Harry shrugged. "Because most of the Blacks are psychotic?"
Cepheus paused, his face pulling as he stared at Harry. Honestly, Harry wasn't even sorry. Sirius would understand. He would be careful what he said about Regulus, but Cepheus should know just how dangerous the Black family truly was for his own safety.
"Sirius and the Tonkses are really the only good ones still left alive," Harry clarified. "Bellatrix and Narcissa, they're Death Eaters. You know what a Death Eater is, right? They're dangerous."
Cepheus nodded, his bottom lip sliding between his teeth. "What about my dad?"
Harry tried to keep his face as neutral as possible. It wasn't really his place to tell him that Regulus had been a blood supremacist Death Eater who had probably killed and tortured countless people. Then again, Charlotte seemed nice enough and she had been married to the bloke.
"I don't know much about him," Harry admitted, which wasn't entirely a lie. "I know he and Sirius had a falling out… or more like Sirius had a massive falling out with his entire family that ended with him running away at sixteen. Regulus and Sirius weren't close at the time of his death. But Sirius seems to regret not being around when Regulus died."
Cepheus' brows furrowed. "He ran away at sixteen?"
Harry nodded. "To my dad's house. My grandparents took him in until he was old enough to live on his own. Walburga and Orion Black, your grandparents I suppose, abused him. They're dead now, but I've met the portrait of Walburga before. She screams slurs and says some pretty awful things to Sirius."
"My dad stayed behind?" Cepheus confirmed.
Harry nodded. "Yeah, Sirius says he was the good son. The Blacks were all Death Eaters and blood supremacists – his parents and aunts and uncles. The whole lot of them. Sirius was very vocal that he didn't believe what they did and they didn't like that. So they hurt him. He had no choice but to run."
"My dad… he didn't, I mean, did he…" Cepheus trailed off, swallowing.
"I think you should talk to your mum and Sirius about that," Harry replied, hoping that Cepheus understood the truth without him having to say it. "I mean, I don't… I wasn't there. I never knew him. I don't know much and I was asked not to talk about him. I really don't, I don't want to upset Sirius."
Cepheus sucked in a breath. "Right."
Harry stared at Cepheus. "You should push them to talk about it. If you don't push, they never talk. But I understand how you feel."
"Sure, you do," Cepheus replied with slight bitterness in his tone.
"I do," Harry insisted, trying to keep the annoyance out of his voice. "I wasn't always with Sirius, you know. When my parents died, a friend of theirs framed Sirius for murder. He was arrested and locked away in Azkaban without a trial. I lived with my aunt and uncle. Up until I went to Hogwarts at eleven, I didn't even know I was a wizard. My aunt and uncle wouldn't even tell me my parents' names or show me pictures or anything. Even when I arrived at Hogwarts, I barely knew anything. Little glimpses and small stories. Nothing solid or concrete. Sirius broke out of prison when I was thirteen because he knew I was in danger. He wanted to help me. It wasn't until I actually met him that I started learning things about my parents. And I didn't even get to see him that often. This past summer he was proven innocent and adopted me. But he doesn't like to talk about the past a lot. I think, well, he likes to talk about me when I was a baby. He doesn't tell many stories about his time at Hogwarts with my dad or such."
Harry stared at Cepheus. He looked like a deflated balloon, like all the answers and stories he had been craving his entire life were just out of his reach. Harry knew that feeling well, better than anyone really. Harry had been let down time after time in his life, information and knowledge being kept from him. He had been lied to, had information omitted, and struggled to figure out the answers himself. Harry hated that feeling.
"Thanks for being as honest as you could," Cepheus whispered.
"There's a reason your mum fled," Harry pushed. "There's a reason that you don't know any of your family."
"Besides you and Uncle Sirius, I only ever met one other Black. She didn't tell me anything either," Cepheus added.
Harry's brow furrowed. "Who?"
"Melania Black, my dad's grandmum," Cepheus explained.
Harry had never heard of her. He just assumed all the older generations of Blacks had all died since Sirius and Andromeda had never talked about anyone except for Andromeda's mother Druella.
"Oh, I don't know her," Harry admitted. "How, err, was she?"
Cepheus shrugged. "I don't know. It was odd. She never mentioned Uncle Sirius or anyone. She just told me a few stories about my dad as a kid but it was all… well, odd. Like not a lot of detail or anything."
Harry didn't know what to say to that. Obviously, she probably wasn't a very nice person if Sirius had never mentioned or introduced them so it seemed strange that Cepheus would meet her, especially when Charlotte was so tight-lipped about everything.
Cepheus cleared his throat. "Want to look around? Maybe we can press my mum and Uncle Sirius once we meet back up with them."
Harry felt his shoulders sag in relief. "Yeah, that sounds great."
They walked around the castle. Cepheus showed him the classrooms and they stopped by the kitchens for a snack. They went up to the Astronomy Tower, and the view of the mountains was breathtaking. Harry even saw Cepheus' common room, meeting Henri and André who were impossibly nice. As soon as someone even uttered the words Chosen One, Cepheus shot them a look and shook his head. Harry felt a rush of appreciation wash over him.
It wasn't until a couple hours later that Harry and Cepheus decided to wander back to the Charms office as Sirius and Charlotte had never contacted them to return. Harry knocked at the door. Rustling sounded. Then Charlotte's voice called for them to enter. Cepheus and Harry glanced at one another briefly before they entered the room.
Sirius sat slumped in a chair, his face paler than normal and his eyes puffy like he had been crying. Charlotte trembled, her eyes darting between the two teenagers as though she suspected something to have happened to them. Harry made a beeline towards the table, sinking down into his usual spot at Sirius' right and staring at his godfather.
"What happened?" Harry whispered, his eyes searching Sirius'.
Sirius just stared at him, his brows furrowing. "Nothing. It's just… more Walburga fuckery."
Harry didn't push the topic, not with Cepheus around. Charlotte and Cepheus sat down across from them. An awkward silence hung around them for a few moments before Sirius cleared his throat, dragging his eyes away from Harry. He faced Cepheus, his face grim.
"So, tell us about you," Sirius said, his voice void of any emotion.
Cepheus did, telling him all about himself. Harry suspected that he hadn't picked up on Sirius' drastic shift in mood. Charlotte would interrupt occasionally, asking Harry questions. Harry couldn't help but notice that Charlotte and Sirius didn't offer any information about themselves, which wasn't a total surprise. When asked, they dodged the questions with practiced ease and deflected any pressing questions. Harry didn't know how to feel about it all.
When it was time to leave, Sirius handed out mirrors like sweets to Charlotte and Cepheus and said he'd already connected them with his and Harry's. Harry stared at Sirius, wondering why Sirius would allow Harry and Cepheus to talk, especially given Harry's stance on not keeping secrets from him.
Harry had no doubt that he and Cepheus would be in contact. The boys exchanged a knowing look. They were going to find out what Sirius and Charlotte talked about in their absence. Harry had no doubt that they could each get crumbs and piece it all together. Sirius had just given them the tools to do it.
Back at the Black Villa, Sirius tried his hardest not to slip into some catatonic state of shock. He and Harry ordered some takeaway for dinner and sat across from each other at the kitchen table. Sirius pushed his food around, afraid the bile lodged in his throat would let loose if he even attempted to eat. Harry peered at him curiously, a question clear as day on his face that he apparently didn't quite know how to ask. Sirius wasn't about ready to engage in any sort of conversation about what he had learned from Charlotte.
Sirius kept waiting to wake up from the nightmare he found himself in. Because, surely, this wasn't reality. How could he be the son of Lord Voldemort? He was nothing like the man. He fucking hated him. Then again, he fucking hated Walburga and Orion as well, so what else was new?
"Sirius–"
"How was Beauxbatons?" Sirius interrupted, trying to keep his tone casual. "You and Cepheus seemed better after your walk."
Harry blinked at him for a few moments before he started talking about the castle and everything Cepheus had shown him. The tension between them in the initial meeting must have worn off as they toured the castle, because Harry didn't seem to be harboring any ill will as he talked. Harry even told Sirius about the Grue de Paradis common room which could be accessed through a portrait and was located in the side of the mountain. Sirius focused on Harry's voice and only his voice until he couldn't even understand the words that his godson was saying. Instead, he let himself be lulled by the low and familiar rumble of Harry's voice.
This was his life. This was his family.
He wasn't a Black. He wasn't a Riddle. He was just Sirius, Harry's godfather. That's all that mattered, right? Isn't that what Fleamont had told him when he was sixteen and lost, struggling to figure out who he was and where he belonged?
"All you need to be is Sirius," Fleamont had said, a hand gripping his shoulders. "Family doesn't define you. Only you define you."
Sirius desperately needed to believe that. He desperately needed that comfort. But it was just out of his reach as the heavy boulder crushing his lungs wouldn't budge.
After dinner, Sirius excused himself for bed. Harry only frowned at him, and it was clear that he knew full well that Sirius was avoiding him. He paused for a few moments, his palms pressing against the table as he stared at Harry, trying to figure out something to say to the kid.
"Are you all right?" Harry whispered.
"Yeah, I'm… I'm fine," Sirius replied, his voice cracking at the last word.
Harry's frown only deepened, the little lines appearing between his brow. "What did Charlotte say after Cepheus and I left?"
Sirius swallowed. "Oh, you know, fucking Black family secrets."
Harry chewed on his bottom lip for a few moments. "What were the secrets?"
"Nothing that you need to worry about," Sirius replied, waving him off before he stood to his full height.
"You said I was as much of a Black as you were a Potter," Harry argued. "You said the Blacks were my family whether I liked it or not because I was your family from the moment I was born."
Sirius searched his eyes. "You are my family. I care about you more than I have ever cared about anyone else before."
"Then why are you keeping secrets from me?" Harry snapped, his jaw tightening. "Don't give me the excuse that parents don't talk to their kids! I'm sick of that! I'm supposed to be your son! You're supposed to be my dad! Yet, yet, I feel like we've never been further apart!"
Sirius' face tugged down. "I'm sorry you feel that way," he said in a terse tone. "I tried to be there for you since I escaped Azkaban. I lived in a fucking cave eating rats so I could help you through that bloody tournament. I lived in my hellish childhood home where I was tortured and abused as a kid because it was the only safe location I could spend time with you at. I have worried myself sick trying to prepare you for the shit destiny that life threw at you. I have been trying my fucking hardest to make sure you live to see another day, to try to give you some semblance of a normal year for once. So I'm sorry if you're upset that I don't tell you every single one of my pathetic problems, but I have a list of shit I'm dealing with longer than you could ever imagine."
"I didn't mean it like that!" Harry cried, his chest heaving. "I appreciate everything you've done for me! I just… you're just the only family I have left!"
Sirius nodded. "I just want you to put yourself in my position, yeah? Imagine Hermione betrayed you and caused Ron to die. Imagine being blamed for his death and winding up in Azkaban for twelve fucking years where any sort of happiness was drained from you and knowing Ron's kid was being abused by his relatives. A kid that you promised you'd protect and love like your own. Imagine escaping and being worried to death about your godson because he was marked for death by some fucking lunatic blood purist. Also imagine having cousins and family members who were trying to kill you for daring not to follow in their footsteps. Do you think I want to talk about any of that?"
Sirius hated himself, but he couldn't stop the word vomit from spilling from his lips. Shoving his hands into his pockets, he pressed his lips together to stop himself from speaking. He didn't want to unload on Harry or make him feel as terrible as Sirius felt. He stared at his godson, seeing how shattered he looked.
Sirius let out a shuddering sigh. "I'm sorry," he whispered, his head shaking. "I didn't mean…" He swallowed at the stubborn lump that had been in his throat since he had heard the dreaded words out of Voldemort's mouth in the Pensieve. "It's just been a shitty… week or so. I don't like to talk about my problems. Not just with you but with anyone. It used to drive James mad. He was so annoyingly persistent, always pushing me to talk before I was ready," he explained, clearing his throat. "I love you, all right? I really fucking love you, Harry. I don't want you to think otherwise because I'm going through it right now."
Harry blinked, tears brimming his eyes but nothing fell onto his cheeks. "I love you too, Sirius," he said in a small voice. "I just want to help."
Sirius forced a tight smile on his face. "I appreciate that, I really do. But I just… I need some time. I'm not… I'm not a spill-my-thoughts and feelings sort of person. I need time to process before I want to talk."
Harry shrugged. "Okay," he replied in a short tone.
Sirius gestured for Harry to stand up. He did, without question. Sirius pulled him into a bone-crushing embrace, his left-hand tangling into Harry's unruly locks. Screwing his eyes shut, Sirius tried to push down the despair that had overtaken his entire body. He had to push it down, just like he had done with everything else in his life. If he was going to be there for Harry and keep him safe, then he couldn't focus on the shitstorm that he was Sirius Riddle instead of Sirius Black. That very thought sent a violent shudder down his spine.
"I'll be okay," Sirius whispered, pressing his lips to Harry's temple as he pulled away and gripped his biceps. "I just need to process some stuff tonight, yeah? Think of what you want to do tomorrow before our Portkey. Anything you want to do."
Harry nodded stiffly. "Yeah, okay."
Sirius gave Harry's arms a squeeze. "Goodnight. I love you. Don't forget that. No matter what," he said cryptically, because if Harry ever found out that Sirius was a Riddle, then he never wanted his godson to question his love for him.
Harry offered Sirius a strained smile. "Night, Sirius. I love you too."
Sirius made his way upstairs towards his Uncle Alphard's old bedroom. He supposed he really should start thinking about it as being his room but it just seemed wrong to do so. At least his Uncle Alphard was still his Uncle Alphard.
Once inside the bedroom, Sirius not only locked the door but placed some privacy charms on it. He hadn't come to bed to sleep. Instead, he pulled out the journal that Charlotte had given him along with the vial of memories. Tossing the journal onto the bed, Sirius stared at the shimmering liquid in the vial. Then, as hard as he could, he pitched it across the room. The glass shattered against the wall, the iridescent liquid sliding down the plaster.
"Fuck you," Sirius hissed at the stain on the wall.
Collapsing down onto his bed, he stared at the journal sitting on top of the duvet. His trembling fingers picked it up and he started to flip through the pages to read the short passages. It read like a confession box of letters addressed to Sirius of all the awful things he had done over the years.
Dear Sirius, I took the Mark today. I didn't want to, but what else was I supposed to do? We don't all have our special little James Potter to look out for us. I hate him, by the way. I wish James Potter never existed or that he'd die some horrible death. At least I wouldn't be so alone right now.
Other pages detailed things he had seen or done while a Death Eater. His normally elegant handwriting seemed shaky and jagged.
Dear Sirius, I watched as Bella and Rodolphus tortured Augustus Rookwood for daring to question an order on a mission. I stood guard. I swear I didn't do anything.
There were pages of them. Apologies. Names. Things that had happened in the Order that now suddenly made sense that didn't before.
Dear Sirius, today Mum told me I wasn't living up to my namesake. She said I needed to be more involved and not so passive. She wanted me to hurt an Order member named Elphias Doge that had been following her. I couldn't cast a curse, but I started punching him and I couldn't stop. I am so angry lately. Narcissa altered his memory, made him forget me. I can't seem to wash the blood off. How long does blood stain?
More dirty family secrets were revealed too. Sirius supposed as soon as a Black took the Mark, then the family let you in on everything.
Dear Sirius, Uncle Alphard died today. Mum poisoned him. She was switching up his potions for his Sanguine Syndrome. She said the Dark Lord asked her to. I tried to warn Uncle Alphard but I don't think he cared. Part of me thinks he wanted to die, wanted it to finally be over. He asked me to deliver a letter to Edmund Shacklebolt upon his death. I guess they were lovers. Did you know? I hear he's in the Order. So you probably do know him.
They were all short. Little snippets of a life he never knew his brother lived. Sirius realized that the gap between them was wider than he thought it was, too wide to have ever been able to have been filled in.
Dear Sirius, I fucking hate Lucius Malfoy. You were right about him. I was too naive to see it as a kid. I'm sorry, Sirius. I'm so sorry. I wish I would have listened to you.
Regulus also told him of a life that almost was, but wasn't.
Dear Sirius, did you know I was almost placed in Ravenclaw? Yeah, the hat said I had a sharp mind, that I'd be challenged and do well there. But I begged it to put me in Slytherin. I was so afraid to be placed in any other house. I had seen the response for you. I wish you had the opportunity to have convinced the hat to put you in Slytherin. You probably didn't even hear it talk to you. I remember you telling me the hat barely touched your head before it shouted Gryffindor. Well, it talks to you. Maybe I shouldn't have talked back.
Other pages had dried blood smeared across them. Sirius couldn't help but scrape it with his nail, wondering what had happened.
Dear Sirius, have you ever cut the throat of an animal? They don't have souls, right, so it doesn't count as murder? Sirius, tell me it doesn't count. Please, just tell me it doesn't count.
Others confirmed the terrible truth that Sirius didn't want to believe, that Voldemort really had fathered him and his brother.
Dear Sirius, I can't talk to snakes. Can you? I feel like this is something that you would have hidden from everyone. I wouldn't be surprised either way. The Dark Lord was angry I couldn't. He accused Mum of all sorts of things. He ordered a snake to attack me but it wouldn't. I think it sensed something deep within me. The snake wrapped around me and I pet its head like it was a dog. The Dark Lord was still angry I couldn't speak to it, but was convinced Mum hadn't manipulated him. I can still hear Mum's screams. He blames the Black blood for tainting the Slytherin line. I'm surprised he didn't hurt me too.
They all began to blur together until Sirius couldn't even think straight. Sirius didn't know what to believe. He had spent so long protecting his brother, then progressing to hating his brother upon taking the Mark, to missing his brother once he was dead.
But one thing Sirius knew for sure after reading the journal was that his brother had been nothing more than a scared kid. He did a lot of regretful things, terrible things, out of fear and a need for acceptance within their shit family.
That was very clear as Sirius read page after page of heartbreak: of confessions and apologies and everything in between.
Dear Sirius, I'm sorry for what I did to James. I know he probably told you. I'm so sorry. I never hated anyone until I met him. Hate festers. I don't think there's anyone I hate more than him because I miss you. I'm jealous of the relationship he has with you. I want that. I want to laugh and joke around with you. I want you to come to me when you need someone, and I want to go to you. I miss you and I blame him. But I didn't want to leave his kid without a dad. That was the only reason I didn't kill him. He told me he was going to be a dad.
The last page in the journal made Sirius stop cold.
The diary – Narcissa
The cup – Bellatrix
The diadem – Mum
The necklace – me
The ring - the Dark Lord
?
Sirius swallowed. At the time of Regulus' death, Voldemort had made all but one of his Horcruxes. He had entrusted the Black family with them. Sirius' fingers pressed against his mouth. His mind memorizing the words in front of him. His heart hammered in his chest as he ripped the page out from the journal. He knew he had to share the information about the Horcruxes with Dumbledore, but that didn't mean he needed to share anything else Regulus had to say. Dumbledore certainly didn't need to know that Lord Voldemort was Sirius' biological father.
Harry watched as Sirius signed his name to the piece of parchment. Normally, he chatted with Professor McGonagall as he did so, making comments about articles in Transfiguration Today that he had read or laughing as she complained about Mundungus Fletcher. Today, however, he stared at the parchment like he was trying to burn a hole through it while dotting his I's. He glanced at the watch on his wrist for the time before he jotted that down too.
Professor McGonagall peered at Sirius over her glasses, her lips pursed as she stared at him. She must have known him well enough to know what he was in one of his moods, because she didn't push him to talk or say anything at all.
"Thank you, professor," Sirius said as he set the quill in her little quill holder before sliding the parchment across the desk. "I'll see you next Sunday to sign him out for lessons."
Professor McGonagall nodded. "I'll be here at eight, like always."
Sirius turned towards Harry, a rough smile crossing his face. Harry could tell he hadn't slept at all the night before. Dark circles resided under his bloodshot eyes, his normally coifed hair messy and disheveled. Harry suspected they looked more like father and son than ever before with the way Sirius hadn't even bothered with a comb. He stuffed his hands into the pockets of his leather jacket.
"I'll see you next weekend, all right?" Sirius said. "Keep your head down and nose clean, yeah?"
Harry resisted the urge to roll his eyes and instead just nodded. "I will."
"Look, you don't have to stop by on Saturday during the village weekend," Sirius added. "Have fun with your friends. We'll spend Sunday together."
Harry frowned. "Yeah, all right, sure."
"Who are you going with?"
Harry glanced over at Professor McGonagall quickly, noting that she was staring at them with interest. "Err, Ginny. Ron and Ginny's friend Niamh are joining us."
Sirius arched an eyebrow. "A double date?"
"Uh, I guess?" Harry replied, rubbing the back of his neck. "It was Ron's idea."
A soft smile spread across Sirius' face. "Maybe you should stop by my place. I can take pictures for Molly."
Harry let out a strangled sort of laugh. "I'm good, but thanks. Ginny said Mrs Weasley developed a picture from your and Remus' double date to the gala and hung it on the wall."
Sirius shook his head. "That's mortifying. I'll have to go over for tea this week and steal it," he commented before he sucked in a breath. "All right, I have to go. You should get back to your common room."
Sirius pulled Harry into an embrace, his fingers tangling in Harry's hair like they always did. Harry returned the hug, his fingers brushing against the smooth leather.
"Love you, kid," Sirius said before pulling away.
"I love you, too," Harry replied, getting more and more used to saying those four little words back to Sirius.
"Sirius, do you mind if we talk for a moment before you leave?" Professor McGonagall asked.
Sirius nodded, clapping Harry on the shoulder before he gestured his head to the door. Harry looked between them briefly, wondering if they were going to talk about him or something else. But Harry didn't linger though, knowing they wouldn't talk in front of him. He thanked Professor McGonagall before he made his way out of the office. Hiking his duffel up on his shoulder, he closed the door behind him.
Instantly, Harry didn't care what they were talking about. He saw Ginny and Ron standing just down the corridor from the office. They were playing a hand slap game, Ginny successfully pulling her hands away before Ron could make contact. Ron's face pulled as he glared up at her.
"Merlin fuck, Ginny!" Ron growled.
"How are you a Keeper? You are so bloody slow," Ginny snapped back, her eyes sparkling as she looked up at her brother. "Not one ruddy time."
Harry smiled as he made his way towards them.
"Your hands are tiny!" Ron protested.
"And your hands are huge!" Ginny replied as they pressed palms together again. "It evens out."
"Hey," Harry greeted.
Ron moved quickly upon hearing Harry's voice, shoving one of his long arms in front of Ginny so she couldn't make contact with Harry first. He pulled Harry into an embrace and Harry stared at Ginny over Ron's shoulder. She rolled her eyes, her arms crossing over her chest.
"It's good to have you back, mate," Ron said, thumping Harry on the back. "I was stuck with Ginny and her friends all bloody weekend."
Ginny scoffed. "Like you and Gemma didn't spend two bloody hours gossiping about Hannah and Neville being caught snogging in the Herbology classroom."
Ron pulled away from Harry, his shoulders shrugging. "I mean, look, Gemma knows everything. It's sort of eerie. I'm learning so much about so many different people."
Ginny pushed Ron aside. "Can I say hello to my boyfriend now?"
Ron's face pulled as she pushed past him. She rose up onto her tiptoes, slinging her arms on his shoulders. Harry had no choice but to bend down to press his lips against hers, not that he had any objections whatsoever. A spark ignited in his chest, his palms pressing against her hips. Ron groaned but Harry ignored him.
When they finally parted, which could have been moments or minutes or even hours, Harry couldn't keep the goofy grin off his face.
"I missed you," she whispered.
Ron made a gagging noise.
"I missed you too," he admitted as he pulled her close to his side.
She snuggled into his chest, fitting perfectly against him like she was made to live permanently pressed into him. Harry's fingers danced along her arm, and he swore he felt her shiver.
"Oi, Weasley!" a familiar voice called.
They all turned their heads to see Demelza walking towards them, her long brown ponytail swinging behind her.
"What?" Ron called in an annoyed voice.
Demelza rolled her eyes. "Patrol in five minutes!" she exclaimed, her eyes flickering over to Harry "Hey, Harry."
Harry smiled. "Hey, Demelza."
Ron grumbled. "Harry just got back though!"
Ginny smirked. "Good. Now I can actually snog him without you making your little noises."
Ron scowled, but Demelza didn't let him speak as she grabbed his arm and started to pull him away. Demelza waved in their direction as she told Ron to hurry up.
"Want to go to back to the common room and chat?" Ginny asked, tilting her head back all the way so that she could see him. "I've been dying to hear how it went."
Harry pecked her on the forehead. "Yeah, sure. Let's go. It was… I don't know."
The two of them made their way towards Gryffindor tower, chatting about anything that didn't involve France. Harry appreciated the way Ginny just got it. He didn't have to tell her they couldn't talk about it in public, he didn't have to feel awkward about telling her to wait. She just talked about the Quidditch practice he missed yesterday, about the drills she had the team do in his absence.
When they entered Gryffindor tower, they snuck past everyone in the common room on their way towards the staircase and dashed up to his dormitory before anyone could stop them. Harry tossed his duffel next to his trunk, his neck craning around to make sure nobody else was in the room. They were alone. Harry turned to see Ginny lounging in his bed, her shoes already off. Harry grinned, toeing off his shoes before he climbed into bed after her. Pulling the curtains, he stuck them together and made sure privacy charms were in place.
Harry collapsed in the bed next to her, a long exhausted sigh escaping his lips. Ginny's fingers carded through his hair, making his scalp tingle. He looked up at her, his stomach flipping.
"How was Cepheus and Charlotte?" Ginny asked.
Harry closed his eyes. "Apparently, Charlotte was telling Black family secrets while Cepheus and I were told to scram."
Ginny's finger traced his lightning bolt scar, and Harry found himself oddly not even minding. "How was Cepheus?"
Harry snapped his eyes open. "Naïve. Really, really naïve. Eager too. Sort of reminded me of, well, me when I was younger. He just wanted to know things about his dad."
"Did Sirius tell him?" Ginny inquired.
Harry made a face. "Not really. I mean, I implied to him that he shouldn't, you know, assume the best. I told him about the Malfoys and the Lestranges, because who knows what they would do if they find out about him. Apparently, he blabbed to the entire school I'm his cousin."
Ginny snorted, frowning. "Because of who you are?"
Harry shook his head, rolling onto his side and propping himself up on his arm so he could face her. "Nah, just excited he had family to talk about for once. He was… I don't know. Different than I expected. It was like looking into a funhouse mirror reflection of Sirius. He looked like him but acted entirely different."
"I haven't the foggiest idea what that means, Harry," Ginny admitted.
His lips twitched. "They're mirrors that distort your appearance. Muggles have them at funfairs. They'll make you really tall or super short and such. It was about the only thing I was allowed to do one year when I was allowed to go with the Dursleys because they couldn't find anyone to watch me."
Ginny's brow furrowed. "I'm glad you never have to go back there," she whispered. "They seem awful."
Harry gave her a one-shoulder shrug. "It's fine. I mean, there's nothing I can do to change it. And, you're right. It's not like I have to go back there. I mean, Sirius has full custody now."
Ginny's hand cupped his face, her thumb brushing against his bottom lip. She shifted closer to him until her body pressed against his. Harry fell back onto the mattress. Ginny moved so that she was on top of him, her strawberry lip gloss coating his lips. All of his problems faded as his mind succumbed to thoughts of Ginny, the way her lips glided against his and the way her hand ran down his arm. Harry let go of everything and focused solely on Ginny and only Ginny.
He was glad to be back at Hogwarts and have her to talk to. Ginny was the only one who told him the truth and never hid anything from him.
Remus sucked in a breath, his eyes roaming along the pages of his book. Nymphadora cuddled up against his side, a new book propped open on her lap. It was a biography about a woman who was a werewolf that Nymphadora found endlessly fascinating. She often pointed out passages to him, asking for his opinion.
It would seem very mundane and, well, couple-y if he hadn't been one of the monsters she was also reading about. Even though her new reading obsession had been all things lycanthropy, Remus couldn't help the small spark of love that burst from his chest knowing she was trying her best to understand him and his fears in a way no one had ever done before. Not even James and Sirius. Sure, the two had become illegal Animagus for him, had nursed his wounds, but they hadn't deep-dived into literature quite like Nymphadora had.
A knock sounded. Remus pressed his lips to the crown of Nymphadora's head. She shifted on the sofa, leaving his arms, and settling against the armrest. Remus sighed, grabbing his bookmark and marking his spot before tossing the book onto the coffee table. Nymphadora smirked at him above her book.
"Tell them to go away, it's our reading night," Nymphadora commented. "I want my comfy pillow back."
Remus snorted as he made his way towards the front door. He opened the door to see Andromeda standing there, worry lines creased deep in her forehead. She didn't even say hello as she moved past him, their shoulders bumping together. Remus shut the door behind her.
"Welcome, Andromeda, come on in," Remus said in a dry tone.
Andromeda didn't say anything as she paced. Nymphadora peered at her over the back of the sofa, her arms folding on top of the cushions.
"Hey, Mum," Nymphadora greeted.
Andromeda ignored her as she turned to Remus, her face drawn into a thin line. "What happened?"
Remus furrowed his brows. "Uh… nothing? Dora and I are just reading."
"Not with you two!" Andromeda snapped. "With Sirius!"
Remus blinked. "Uh, nothing as far as I know? He's back from France, said it went fine."
"He won't talk to me," Andromeda said in a fast tone. "I called him multiple times on the mirror and I even went over to his place multiple times and he bloody well changed the Unlocking Charm! Did you know he changed his Unlocking Charm?"
Nymphadora laughed. "Mum! Sirius said you walked in on him starkers! Of course, he bloody well changed his Unlocking Charm! You're a menace when it comes to knocking. Why do you think I only gave Dad my Unlocking Charm? I didn't very well want you to waltz on in on Remus and I shagging!"
Remus shot Nymphadora a look. She only laughed more.
"I wanted to know how the meeting went with Charlotte and Cepheus," Andromeda barreled on, pretending like she hadn't even heard her daughter speak. "Did it not go well?"
Remus shrugged. As far as he knew, Sirius had given them both mirrors and connected them with his and Harry's mirrors. Cepheus and Harry had a rocky start but seemed to get along by the end of the meeting. It all seemed fine and normal, as far as Remus understood. They had only talked briefly on the mirror, but Sirius seemed fine albeit a little melancholy. But that could have been the sheer fact that it was October or perhaps because he was upset because he was just meeting his nephew at sixteen? Sirius often lamented last year about missing so much of Harry's life.
"I assume so, yes," Remus replied. "He didn't say anything that made me think otherwise."
Andromeda frowned. "Well, I'm glad it didn't go poorly but why isn't he talking to me about it? Or at all, really?"
"Maybe he's finally reached his limit with you," Nymphadora teased. "You do act like his mother half the time and not his cousin. It bloody well annoys him."
Andromeda finally shot her daughter a look. "He doesn't have anyone else to look out for him or, or care for him in the way he desperately needs!"
"I think you're only pushing him away," Nymphadora reasoned. "He goes to Dad when he needs help, not you. Sirius and Dad are like this," she said, crossing her middle and index fingers tightly together.
Andromeda huffed. "I'm very happy that Sirius and Ted get along so well."
"Ha! You're totally jealous, Mum!" Nymphadora exclaimed.
Andromeda frowned. "I am not jealous, stop it," she hissed before turning to Remus. "Would you be a darling and go check on him for me? Maybe ask him if he's had a chance to talk to me about Cepheus and see what he says? Please, Remus, I would truly appreciate it."
Remus certainly didn't want to pry, but it wouldn't be unusual for him to pop by for a chat. Sirius was his closest friend, and he was Sirius'. The feelings between them were mutual in a way it hadn't been when they were younger. Remus supposed great tragedy would do that to people.
"Nymphadora and I will pay him a visit and let you know," Remus conceded.
Andromeda beamed, cupping Remus' face with her hands. "You're a darling, Remus, you know that?"
Remus only offered her a strained smile in return. After some goodbyes and a promise to stop by later to her house, Andromeda left. Remus turned to Nymphadora, his hands raising in a what can you do motion.
"It's book night though," Nymphadora whined.
"We can have book night tomorrow," Remus offered.
"We have to tail my bonkers aunt and uncle tomorrow night," Nymphadora replied.
Remus sighed. "We should check on Sirius, just to make sure he's all right."
Nymphadora nodded. "I suppose you're right but…" she trailed off, bobbing her head from side to side. "Fine, let's go."
They grabbed their jackets before they set out hand in hand out of the flat and down a few blocks towards an Apparition point, their arms swinging between them. Remus took Nymphadora along when he Apparated, coming out just a short walk away from Sirius' Hogsmeade house.
The lights were on inside, the curtain drawn. Remus knocked on the front door, waiting patiently for Sirius to answer. There was commotion inside. It sounded like Sirius running down the steps. He opened the door in nothing but a pair of pajama bottoms low on his hips and an annoyed expression on his face.
"What?" he greeted.
Nymphadora covered her eyes with her hand. "Can you bloody well pull up your bottoms? I can see your pubic hair!"
Sirius grumbled, hiking up the pajama bottoms and pulling the strings to tighten it. "There, better?"
Nymphadora parted two fingers and peered at him. Seemingly satisfied, she lowered her hand and beamed at him. "Exceedingly! Now, onto the nitty gritty," she said before dropping her voice to a whisper. "Who are you shagging in there?"
Sirius scowled.
Remus cleared his throat, deciding it was best just to be straightforward with Sirius to avoid any unnecessary arguments between them. "Can you mirror call Andromeda and let her know about Cepheus?"
Sirius rolled his eyes.
"Is it Marlene?" Nymphadora whispered, her neck craning to try to see around Sirius' tall frame.
Sirius huffed. "Yeah, I'm shagging a witch who thinks I fucking hexed and cursed her. It's a real fun time."
Nymphadora sighed. "Is it Tegan? You two are always touching each other."
Sirius turned his attention to Remus. "Andy put you two up to this?"
"Well, it is odd you wouldn't tell her anything when she knew you were going," Remus reasoned.
"Oh, so she's allowed to keep her little secrets but I'm not allowed to keep mine?" Sirius snapped. "Tell her I fucking know she knows."
Nymphadora jerked her head back. "Knows what?"
Sirius only frowned. "I'm busy. I'll talk to you two tomorrow, yeah?"
The door slammed in their faces. Remus tilted his head to the side, his brows furrowing. His eyes glanced over at a bewildered Nymphadora.
"I'm slightly offended that there's this big family secret going around and I haven't the foggiest idea what it could be," Nymphadora said as she turned to face Remus.
Remus shrugged. "I've found that most Black family secrets aren't exactly pleasant and we should probably just stay out of it. Let Andromeda and Sirius figure it out on their own."
"I just want to know what happened in France," Nymphadora said, her lips pursing to the side.
Remus nodded. "Yeah, it's best just to let it go until Sirius is ready to talk. Which could be a month from now or a year from now or bloody well never."
Nymphadora glanced up at him, her dark eyebrow raising elegantly up in the air. "I don't understand how you are so damn patient and unbothered all the time."
Remus smiled ruefully. "Years of dealing with his moody arse."
Nymphadora squinted up at him, the lights on either side of the door illuminating her face. "You know who he's shagging, don't you?"
Remus gave her a sly grin. "Of course, I do."
Nymphadora slapped him on the arm. "Tell me!"
Remus only chuckled, wrapping an arm around her shoulders to steer her away from the house. "I could think of other things I'd rather tell you and definitely do to you."
Nymphadora laughed, snuggling against Remus' side. "I know it's Tegan. She's seeing someone but she's very tight-lipped about who when normally she isn't. Why wouldn't she say if it wasn't someone in the Order, let alone my own cousin?"
"Hmm," Remus hummed, a grin flittering across his face. "Ask me no questions and I'll tell you no lies, but you are the professional Auror so you have impeccable investigative skills."
Nymphadora snorted. "Knew it."
Remus chuckled, his lips pressing against the top of her head as they made their way towards the Apparition point. He listened to Nymphadora chat excitedly about the pairing, claiming they needed a double date that didn't involve Death Eaters or running for their lives. While Remus agreed that would be fun for all parties involved, he doubted Sirius would ever actually follow through. The only double dates Sirius had ever been on had involved Marlene, James, and Lily. The four of them had been inseparable up until Harry was born and the Potters slipped into hiding.
Remus swallowed the lump in his throat. He wished he could think of James and Lily and not feel sick to his stomach. He glanced over at Nymphadora's pink hair and focused on that, breathing in and out slowly as he listened to her excited and warm voice.
Nymphadora paused in her stride, turning to face him. She smiled up at him, looking radiant and beautiful. It was as though her sparkling gray eyes could see into his very soul. Remus's tongue peeked out to lick his bottom lip, his eyes searching her face.
"I love you," he whispered, his voice strained.
Nymphadora blinked, looking taken aback. He had never said those three little words to her. Remus wanted to laugh because just a year ago he had been trying to convince himself that she was nothing but a good shag. But she had been so much more than that. More than anything, Remus wished he would have seen it back then.
"I love you too, Remus," she replied, her voice so soft he didn't know if he had even heard her correctly.
"You do?" he questioned, feeling rather silly. "I just… we haven't been dating that long."
Nymphadora laughed. "Well, if you count the bloody year we spent shagging, it's about damn time."
Remus cupped her face with his hand, bending down and brushing his lips against hers, slow and delicately. He could feel her warm breath against his, causing the hair to rise on his arms. She leaned into him, her lips parting to deepen the kiss. Remus had spent years feeling lost, but now he had finally found his home. He would never let her go.
Sirius swirled the glass of whisky in his hand, watching as it sloshed around to the rim. He didn't even know why he bothered with glasses anymore because he didn't want to just drink to numb the pain. He wanted to drown until he was so drunk he didn't even know his own name. He wanted to forget everything, to be able to let go of the guilt and disgust for even just a few hours. He wanted to be so miserable when he sobered up that he couldn't think about anything except for the splitting headache and becoming best mates with the nearest toilet.
A knocking sounded. Sirius drained the glass before he rose from his spot on the sofa and headed towards the entryway. Wrenching the door open, he immediately regretted that decision. Andromeda stared at him, a smile breaking out across her face as she took a step towards him. He took a step back, avoiding the embrace she always gave him upon seeing him.
"Just go," Sirius whispered, his voice thick.
Andromeda deflated. "Are you drinking again?"
Sirius' jaw tensed. "I don't want you here."
Andromeda refused to listen. She pushed past him, wheeling around on her heels once she was fully in the house. Sirius suppressed a growl as he closed the door shut and turned to face her.
"I got your message," Andromeda commented, her arms crossing over her chest. "What exactly do you think I know?"
"Don't play coy with me, Andromeda," Sirius snapped.
Andromeda arched an eyebrow. "Oh, am I Andromeda now? I don't think you've ever called me Andromeda before."
"Well, there's a first time for everything, I suppose," Sirius replied. "Can you leave now?"
"Merlin, Sirius, just tell me what I supposedly did!" Andromeda exclaimed.
"You knew," Sirius said in a dangerously low voice.
His entire body shook. Her face remained stoic, a nice Black family trait that Sirius hadn't been able to master since he struggled with his anger.
"What do I know, Sirius?" Andromeda whispered.
"You knew about Orion," Sirius accused and her perfect mask slipped for just a moment before it slid stubbornly back into place. "You knew Orion wasn't my father."
Andromeda's lips pressed together, melding into a thin line. Her gray eyes stared hard at him but she didn't say anything.
"Uncle Alphard knew," Sirius whispered. "Regulus. I'm assuming your sisters do as well. Melania knew. Isn't that what you stopped her from saying when we went to get Charlotte's address so I could send her a letter? Who else knew? You think Cygnus and Druella knew? Wanted to partake in my abuse so I could be a good little Riddle?"
"Sirius… I, I…" Andromeda trailed off, tears brimming in her eyes. "Sirius, I love you. I don't care, all right? I love you for you. I don't care who your father is."
Sirius laughed bitterly. "Give me a fucking break, Andy. This isn't what this is about."
Tears escaped Andromeda's eyelashes. "Then what is this about, Sirius?"
"You knew!" Sirius' voice thundered, his index finger pointing at her. "You knew and you never told me anything!"
"I suspected!" Andromeda cried, taking a step towards him once more.
Sirius saw red. "It's the same damn thing, Andy!"
"Sirius–"
"I TRUSTED YOU!" Sirius hollered so loud that his throat started to ache. "I trusted you above everyone else in our fucked up family! I trusted you to tell me the truth!"
Andromeda's shoulders shook, a gasping sob escaping her lips. "Sirius, please, I didn't, I didn't know for sure and I didn't want to upset you over nothing!"
How dare she? Sirius wanted to shake her. That was a piss poor excuse and she bloody well knew it.
"I told you everything," he said in a dangerously low voice. "I told you everything the Blacks did to me that Christmas I was tortured. I confided in you. You were my person. I didn't… I didn't tell James or Fleamont everything. Not like I told you. You… you kept this from me. You kept this big secret from me. Do you know how that feels? Betrayed by my favorite family member?"
"Sirius, I'm sorry!" Andromeda pleaded, her fingers flicking away the tears on her cheeks. "If I knew for sure, I would have told you! It was all rumors!"
"You're just like–" Sirius cut himself off.
Just like Walburga and her little secrets? No, she wasn't cruel like Walburga. Just like Narcissa who had turned her nose up at him the more he spoke out against their family? No, she hadn't abandoned him in quite the same way. Just like Regulus who would look at him in pity? Maybe, she certainly did look at him with an overabundance of pity.
"Like who?" Andromeda pressed.
Sirius debated for a few moments. "Like the rest of our family with their little lies and secrets."
Andromeda frowned, a fresh wave of tears splashing down her face.
"I'm as much like them as you are," Andromeda challenged.
Sirius stilled. "Yeah, then tell me why you thought I was Voldemort's kid. Tell me why you never told me your suspicions."
Andromeda let out a sob. "Sirius…"
"TELL ME!" Sirius shouted, his voice booming so loud that Andromeda physically recoiled away from him.
"A-a comment I heard Cygnus make to Uncle Alphard about the affair," Andromeda admitted. "He-he joked they should, should put a snake in front of you since Walburga was so tight-lipped. I didn't even understand the comment at first, not for years. It was just, it was just small things, Sirius."
They never had. Sirius had never spoken to a snake. He knew he couldn't understand them. The Gaunt memory a few weeks ago had him staring at Harry in a mix of awe and bewilderment. The Potters never had the ability, as far as he knew. Dumbledore's explanation about Voldemort's powers being transferred on Halloween never sat right with Sirius either. He had never heard of anything quite like it.
"I can't believe you didn't tell me," Sirius said in a low voice.
"Sirius, please, I love you," Andromeda sobbed. "If I had known it to be true, I would have told you!"
"Everyone suspected or knew except for me, and I'm the one it was about!" Sirius said, his limbs trembling.
Andromeda closed the space between them, her fingers wrapping around his wrists. He tried to pull away from her, but she held on tight. Though he knew he could pull away if he really wanted to, he didn't want to hurt her. Sirius' chest heaved, his breaths coming out in harsh huffs.
"I love you," she whispered. "So, so, so much. It doesn't matter, all right? I know this feels… Merlin, I know this feels daunting and upsetting. You're right to feel that way, but, Sirius, I promise you, in the long run, this doesn't matter in the slightest."
Sirius swallowed. "What if I lose Harry?" he asked, voicing his real fear and concern out loud.
Andromeda blinked up at him. "What do you mean?"
Sirius sniffed, his face pulling. "What if he hates me when he finds out? My dad killed his dad and–"
"Sirius, no, look… what is it that Fleamont always said?" Andromeda interrupted him. "Blood is just a suggestion for family. It's the people we choose to be family that truly matter. You have chosen Harry, Dora, Ted, Remus, and me as your family. You chose the Potters as your family. That's all that matters. The rest is just…" she trailed off, shrugging her shoulders. "A really bad suggestion."
Sirius searched Andromeda's face, his throat narrowing. "But Harry–"
"Harry loves you," Andromeda said in a fierce tone. "He adores you. He looks up to you. Harry knows better than anyone that blood relatives can be dreadful and awful. He may be shocked at first, but he's not going to abandon you."
"What if you're wrong?" Sirius whispered, his insides twisting painfully.
Andromeda gave his wrists a squeeze. "I'm not. Because I see the way that kid looks at you. I know you have some deep-seeded abandonment issues–" she said, causing Sirius to scoff, "but I can tell you with one hundred percent certainty that Harry will not view you any different."
Sirius nodded, unable to speak. Harry was a kid good, kind and not at all judgmental. Andromeda was right.
"You have to tell him, though," Andromeda pressed. "He won't be upset with you telling him the truth, but he will be upset if he knew you kept it from him."
Sirius knew she was right. Except he couldn't help the anxiety that rose in his chest. What if on the slim chance she was wrong? He had lost a lot of people in his life. But Harry was one person that he couldn't afford to lose.
"If you're not ready, at least tell him that you have something you need to tell but you need to process it yourself first," Andromeda suggested. "That way he knows you aren't purposely keeping it from him but you just need a little bit of time before you tell him."
Sirius nodded.
"You don't want Voldemort telling him or, or for him to see it in one of those visions of his," Andromeda continued. "Merlin, that would be awful coming from anyone except you."
Sirius' eyes slid closed for a few moments. That would be the worst. Having Voldemort tell Harry something that Sirius should tell him himself seemed impossibly dreadful. Harry definitely would never forgive him then. He would tell Harry. He just needed to figure out how… and preferably wait until the shit month of fucking October was officially over. Sirius didn't need anything worse to happen in October.
"I'm sorry, Andy," Sirius whispered, his vision blurry. "I'm sorry, I, I… I was awful to you… and, I…"
Sirius couldn't speak, the despair pouring out of him in shocking tidal waves. His knees gave out, slamming into the hardwood floors. Andromeda fell down in front of him, her hands finding his face.
"Shh," Andromeda replied, wrapping her arms around his neck and pulling him close to her. "It's all right. Just remember, you are Sirius. Just Sirius. And I love you so bloody much."
Sirius crushed Andromeda to his chest. He screwed his eyes shut, letting himself break down in Andromeda's arms. She just held him, like she had done since he could remember, whenever he was upset. Andromeda had always been the one to wipe away his tears and tell him everything would be all right. She had taken care of him since he could remember, and he needed her more now than ever.
I hope you all enjoyed the newest chapter! It was so interesting to see how many of you figured out the big Black family secret plot twist and who was totally shocked! Don't forget to drop a review. They motivate me to keep writing! They just plain make my day!
Special thanks to Bell for editing. Special thanks to funbunnypotter for adding in an idea for Sirius and Andy's fight.