"Brumous"

"Chapter Thirty-Four: Halloween"

Sirius spent the week leading up to Halloween trying to ensure that Charlotte and Cepheus were secure and safe from Voldemort and his Death Eaters. He spent most of his time on mirror calls with Charlotte, trying not so subtly to convince her to come back to England where he could actively protect them both. When he wasn't talking with Charlotte, he was in Dumbledore's office trying to explain the situation without telling the man that he was biologically Voldemort's son and that Cepheus was Voldemort's grandson. Dumbledore only nodded, peering at Sirius as though he already suspected the terrible truth and was merely waiting for Sirius to confirm it. Sirius had no interest in confirming a damn thing.

Much to his relief, Tegan had been more than responsive when he told her about the clear threat from Malfoy. She had contacted the French Ministry of Magic in order to relay the danger to them as well that an attack may be imminent. The Order also informed Madam Maxime. She had upped security around the school.

Even though everyone was doing their best, Sirius wasn't satisfied in the slightest. While his anxiety had been high from the moment Harry watched Voldemort rise from that cauldron, Sirius felt like he was teetering on the edge of insanity. His life was a carefully placed house of cards and they were blowing precariously in the wind. Just one more soft gust was enough to destroy them all.

If Voldemort knew his grandson was locked away in Beauxbatons, surely, he would stop at nothing to gain access to him. Just like he had gone above and beyond to sink his teeth into Sirius and Regulus when they were younger. Sirius didn't know how much more he could take. He was sick with worry thinking nonstop about Harry, Cepheus, and Charlotte.

The day before Halloween, Sirius was at the very edge of his frayed rope. He was done skirting around the issue with Charlotte.

"Can you just…" Sirius trailed off, tossing the mirror onto his bed so he could pull his Henley shirt over his head. "Just come to England, all right?"

McGonagall had sent an owl asking for him to come to Hogwarts for a disciplinary chat involving Harry. Time had slipped away from him all day and now it was nearly five when he was supposed to meet with her and he was still talking to Charlotte after nearly an hour.

"We won't be safe in England either, Sirius!" Charlotte exclaimed. "I've told you this!"

Sirius fixed his hair with his fingers before he snatched the mirror once more. "I can't protect you if you're in France, all right?"

"What makes you think you can protect us in England?" Charlotte asked. "Not only is the Dark Lord in England, but so is my father! My brother! Merlin, Sirius, I can't, I can't talk about this anymore with you!"

Sirius stared hard at Charlotte and all he could think about was Regulus, how he hadn't even checked in on his little brother after leaving Grimmauld Place at sixteen. "We can enroll Cepheus at Hogwarts. If Dumbledore can keep Harry safe, of all people, at that school, he can keep Cepheus safe as well. You can, look, I'm securing a remote home. It's going to go under the Fidelius. You can come live with me."

Charlotte's eyes grew wide. "Come live with you?"

Sirius shot her an annoyed look, snagging his leather jacket strewn across the useless little bench at the foot of his bed. "Platonically, Charlotte!" he snapped. "I have no interest in having anything other than a sisterly relationship with my dead brother's wife."

Charlotte let out a heavy huff. "Why can't you come to France? You have connections where we'd know if Portkeys were being issued for France that look suspicious."

Sirius tightened his jaw. "I can't leave Harry. I'm living in Hogsmeade right now to be here in case something happens."

"Bring him with you!" Charlotte argued. "Enroll him in Beauxbatons and you can move in with me! I mean, he's a target too! It'd be better to just run away altogether! Better yet, let's pool our money together and move to, I don't know! America! Australia! We can get fake names for us and the boys!"

Sirius propped the mirror up on his dresser so he could shrug on his jacket. "Look, as much as I'd love to play house with you, that's highly unrealistic."

"Why?" Charlotte demanded. "Harry's in as much danger as Cepheus is!"

"Because it's not that easy for Harry just to pack up and leave," Sirius argued.

"Why?" she repeated, her eyes blazing.

"Because it's not!" Sirius growled. "Things with Harry are far more complicated than you could even imagine!"

Angry tears poured down Charlotte's face. "You're not telling me why! Because he's the Boy Who Lived? The supposed Chosen One? Take him away from all of that, Sirius! He's sixteen years old!"

"You don't think I would have already done that if I could?" Sirius shouted, wanting nothing more than to punch a fucking wall in that moment.

"You are his father now," Charlotte said, emphasizing each word. "You put him first. No matter what."

"Don't talk to me about things you have zero understanding about, all right, Charlotte?" Sirius snapped, grabbing the mirror from his dresser.

"He's not some savior, Sirius! He's a child! Protect your fucking kid!" Charlotte cried.

Sirius sneered. "You are such a fucking bitch," he hissed. "I have done nothing but protect that kid! Everything I do is for him. Every single breath I take, I think about how I can keep him safe. You don't know anything about him or me. You've been off living the high life in France. You haven't dealt with the fucking shitstorm here."

Charlotte let out a humorless laugh. "Well, apparently, I didn't run far enough away because now my child's psychotic grandfather is going to kidnap him and force him to hurt people! Cepheus, Sirius! Cepheus! He doesn't have a mean bone in his body. The Dark Lord will hurt him! He will destroy him!"

"Your biggest mistake was trusting a fucking Black to help you," Sirius explained in a cool tone. "Melania Black? Are you for fucking real? You went to her, of all people? She knows we weren't her grandkids. She knows Cepheus isn't her great-grandkid. What's worse, is you know what Arcturus was like! She sold you out. I know she did."

Charlotte wiped the tears off her cheeks. "Who was I supposed to go to?"

"Me," Sirius said without hesitation.

He fucking meant it. At twenty, he would have done everything he could have for her. He would have wanted to know his nephew. He would have wanted to know Regulus was fighting back against the Death Eaters. Hell, Sirius was fucking furious that Regulus didn't tell him about his little Horcrux mission and taken him along. Sirius would have protected the three of them with everything he had in him. James would have helped as well. Sirius wouldn't even have had to ask. James just would have without batting an eyelid because he was that good of a person.

"Regulus didn't want you involved," Charlotte whispered. "He was trying to protect you."

Sirius nodded, his features tugging down. "Regulus was an idiot. We had our differences and I didn't agree with him a lot of the time, but he was still my brother. I protected him when we were kids. I took the blame for so much shit so he wouldn't be punished. He was the golden boy because I helped give him that title."

"Sirius…" Charlotte trailed off, her head shaking.

Sirius sighed, knowing he couldn't take much more of this conversation. "Look, I have a meeting at the school for Harry in a few minutes. I'm already running behind," he explained. "Keep your mirror on you, we can talk later."

Charlotte cleared her throat. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean… you're a wonderful person, Sirius."

Sirius nodded, a shaky sigh escaping his lips. "It's fine. I'm sorry too. We're both under a lot of stress right now."

Tears leaked from the corners of Charlotte's eyes. "Just, please, will you just consider leaving Europe with us? I'll go anywhere."

Sirius sniffed. "Yeah, yeah, I'll think about it," he lied, because he knew there was no way he and Harry could leave.

Charlotte wiped the tears off her cheeks, a weak smile crossing her face. "Do you remember… do you remember the time that we played Exploding Snap at one of those boring parties? We stole some old wands so the cards would explode properly. I think we were, Merlin, you must have been ten and I was eight. And I, uh, I was trying to steal the card from Evan Rosier. He slammed that wand down so hard that he burned my hand. I was just sobbing because it hurt so much and, and Evan was just laughing at me for acting like a baby. Regulus was trying to comfort me and you just, you just punched Evan right in the face."

Sirius smiled, remembering clearly how he had tucked his thumb incorrectly and he had thought he had broken his fucking hand because it hurt so bad. It was worth it though. The prick's nose poured out blood like a faucet.

Charlotte let out a watery chuckle. "It was brilliant. You were so kind to me afterward. I remember you took me to the bathroom and found some burn balm."

Sirius swallowed. "Arcturus found us. He fucking wailed at me for causing a disturbance for Mudblood dueling," he said, lowering his voice and mocking his grandfather's voice. Well, Sirius supposed his not grandfather, or whatever. Sirius never really considered him one anyway. He still had a scar on his arm from Arcturus' punishment that day.

"What I'm trying to say is that I trust you, Sirius," Charlotte said in a soft voice. "I respect you. I will always remember how you stood up for me that day. How you always stood up for the younger kids whenever we were picked on or hurt. Regulus always said you had this big brother complex or something," she said with a fond chuckle. "When Regulus and I saw what your parents were doing to you that one Christmas, we both knew we had to help you… just like you had helped us. You need to know that Regulus didn't just sit back and watch what happened. He was in contact with your Uncle Alphard and, and we came up with how to distract the Blacks so you could get out of the house."

"I know," Sirius whispered, his tongue peeking out to lick his bottom lip. "Uncle Alphard told me."

Charlotte nodded, giving him a strained smile. "Good, I just… thought you should know," she said in a soft voice, offering him a watery smile. "I'll talk to you later, Sirius. Tell Harry I said hi."

The connection ceased. Sirius only stared at his haggard reflection, dark smudges shining oddly bright against his pale skin. Not wanting to look at himself, he shoved the mirror into his back pocket before he left his house and made his way towards the castle. Sirius tried, albeit unsuccessfully, not to dwell on how he was supposed to keep his family safe. Harry was the priority, but he couldn't help the twisting in his gut at the thought of Cepheus and Charlotte being hurt… or worse. If Charlotte wouldn't bring them to England, there was nothing Sirius could do. He couldn't keep them safe in another country. That was just a fact.

When he arrived at McGonagall's office, Harry was already seated across from her, his hands folded in his lap and his back stiff. Sirius took a seat next to him, a hand reaching out to squeeze his shoulder in greeting. Harry shot him a look, though his face didn't give away any hint as to why they were all brought together. McGonagall peered at them over her glasses, her face severe and strict.

"Thank you for coming on such short notice, Mr Black," McGonagall started.

Sirius looked over at McGonagall, leaning back in his chair and placing his ankle on the opposite knee. "How can I help you today, professor?"

McGonagall glanced over at Harry with dismay clear as day on her face but Harry didn't move. "Mr Potter has failed to attend Defense Against the Dark Arts for the past two weeks now," she started, cutting straight to the chase.

Sirius couldn't blame his godson in the slightest. He wouldn't want to be around Snape either right now, knowing what he had done to Marlene.

"I wasn't feeling well," Harry replied automatically.

McGonagall raised her eyebrows. "For just Defense and no other classes?"

Harry shrugged. "I've been waking up with migraines lately. Defense is first thing in the morning and it usually goes away by my second class."

Damn, the kid was a good liar, Sirius would give him that. He arched an eyebrow at Harry, knowing there was no way he was actually having headaches. But he'd be damned if he wasn't on Harry's side and backed him up.

"There you go," Sirius said, waving his hand. "He's been having headaches lately. If they don't get better soon, I'll make him an appointment with Ted."

"Mr Black, everyone in this room knows that's not the reason Mr Potter isn't attending Defense," McGonagall said in a flat tone. "I would hope you could see the benefit in him becoming more proficient in the subject matter, given the state of things. Mr Potter, I would hope that you haven't given up your dream of being an Auror because you dislike Professor Snape."

Harry's jaw tightened. "I've just been having headaches, professor. I've kept up with the coursework. Ron turned in my last essay for me."

"Class attendance is not a suggestion but a requirement," McGonagall replied in a stern tone.

Sirius leaned his head back against his chair, his eyes focused on the ceiling. "I understand that attendance is a requirement, but Snape admitted that he left a woman to die," he started, his gaze flickering down to McGonagall. "Harry's godmother at that. I also know that Snape has bullied his students for years. Remus told me Neville Longbottom's boggart is Snape, so please tell me how stellar of a professor that man is. Snape has, over the past five-plus years, terrorized Harry because he dared to look similar to James. Snape hated us and he's taking those sour feelings out on Harry, a child that he has authority over. So tell me, how is he still employed here?"

"Sirius, you know why," McGonagall said, her eyes boring into him.

"Right, yeah, because him being a spy for the Order means he has to work here," Sirius replied in a dry tone. "Makes perfect sense."

"Regardless, the decision that Severus remains employed as a professor is here neither there for this situation," McGonagall reasoned. "He is a professor and Harry has signed up for N.E.W.T. level Defense. He needs to attend class."

Harry sighed, his chin dropping to stare at his lap.

"Look, Harry has weekly dueling lessons with the Aurors. Starting next month, he will also be tutoring younger years in Defense as a student leader," Sirius explained. "Harry has also consistently been top of his class in Defense. I would wager that Harry could probably take the N.E.W.T. level exam right now and come out with an Outstanding. So instead of having him sit in a class with a professor who can't teach anything worth shit, why don't I hire him a private tutor to not only prepare him for his N.E.W.T. exam but also to prepare him for Auror training?"

Harry stared at Sirius, his lips twitching into a smile. Sirius winked at him.

"Who do you think would be an appropriate tutor for Mr Potter?" McGonagall asked.

Sirius didn't even have to think. "Remus Lupin, of course. He can come to the castle every two weeks to have in-person lessons. Between lessons, Remus can assign Harry independent assignments. In case you didn't know, Remus is dating my baby cousin Dora Tonks who is an Auror. I know Dora would be ecstatic to help Remus with the curriculum so that he's appropriately challenged."

McGonagall looked over at a very hopeful Harry. "I will speak to the headmaster about it. We will have a decision by next week."

"Brilliant," Sirius replied as he rose from his chair, rubbing his hands together. "I'll talk to Ted just in case Harry's headaches persist, yeah?"

McGonagall shot him an exasperated look, but Sirius only offered her a strained smile in return. Harry jumped up from his chair, taking a step closer to Sirius. Sirius wrapped an arm around the kid's shoulders, trying to steer him out of the office before McGonagall could change her mind about his proposal. As soon as the door closed, Harry gushed at how magnificent Sirius was. But the praise only washed down his skin and hit the floor with a listless thump.

Ginny sat on her bed, staring at her wall and waiting patiently as Niamh curled her hair with her wand. Gemma lounged on the foot of the bed in front of Ginny, a magazine floating above her head as she looked at it. Demelza was at a meeting with Harry and Deverell Rowle about the upcoming Dueling Club. It was their first meeting as student leaders as they prepared for the start of the clubs next week.

"They'll be done before the feast, won't they?" Niamh asked as she grabbed the hair potion and doused her fingers before running them through Ginny's curls.

"I would think so," Gemma replied, swishing her wand to turn the page of the magazine.

"I'm sure they would just leave even if they weren't done," Ginny added. "Besides, it's just the three of them. Professor McKinnon isn't joining in on the meeting."

"What happened to her, by the way?" Gemma asked, turning to look at Ginny. "She didn't teach one class at all for the last week and a half. Luckily, they were just canceled and didn't have Snape teach or something."

Ginny debated on what to say. While she had only seen Marlene in the corridor that one evening with Harry last week, she had certainly noticed a change in her overall demeanor. Once she started teaching again, surely everyone would notice the sudden shift. Harry had commented about it privately to her because he had seen her a couple of times in the past week.

"Well, look, this stays between us, yeah?" Ginny finally said.

Gemma rolled her eyes, her wrist flicking at the magazine floating above her to put it away. "Always."

Niamh leaned over her shoulder. "I would die before I told a soul anything you told me in confidence."

"So, in the first war, Bellatrix Lestrange manipulated her memories," Ginny explained, her face wincing because she was unclear on all the nitty gritty details. "She's been living as someone else until, well, until Professor Lupin found her."

Niamh's face melted. "I love him. He's the very embodiment of what every man should be. Kind, intelligent, cute in his little old man jumpers."

Ginny chuckled. "Yeah, well, anyway, she didn't have any memories from her life before. Apparently, she was friends with Professor Lupin and Harry's parents. She's his godmother."

"Merlin, Harry went from the little orphan boy who had nobody to legit having godparents," Gemma said. "No wonder he's happier."

"Oh! Oh!" Niamh exclaimed as she bounced on the bed. "Like fairy godparents!"

Gemma's face pulled. "What?"

"You lost us," Ginny added.

"When I was little, my dad would take me to go see these Muggle movies about princesses," Niamh explained. "They had fairy godmothers who helped the princesses become, well, princesses, because the parents were always dead and they lived with wicked stepmothers. My mum would come too and she fell in love with them. She said wizarding stories just aren't the same and were definitely not so girly."

"Yeah, we had Beedle the Bard," Gemma said.

"I did too!" Niamh exclaimed. "But, I never really liked it. I was really into the Muggle stories more. Anyway, sorry, I changed the subject. So Professor McKinnon had her memories stolen by an evil witch. This really does sound like a Muggle fairy tale. If you tell me true love's kiss helped her remember, I will literally faint."

"Yeah, she did, and now she's getting them back, but not because of true love's kiss," Ginny continued and Niamh deflated. "Harry said they come in these flashes and they're intense and she's in pain during them. That's why she's not been in class."

"At least she knows who she really is again," Gemma commented. "I couldn't even imagine. So she didn't know who Harry was?"

"She was told he was her godson, but she had no memories of him," Ginny elaborated. "You know Harry. He doesn't know how to connect with her if she doesn't initiate it. She's tried in a few letters and such, but what do you say to a supposed godson whose parents you can't even remember?"

Gemma blew out a huff of air. "That's rough."

Ginny shrugged. "I think he's just happy to have a family now."

Neither Gemma or Niamh said anything in response. What could they really say? None of them had ever been without a family before and then to suddenly gain one. Not to mention, Harry's family had a laundry list of baggage attached to it.

The door to the dormitory opened and Ginny looked up to see Demelza walking in. She tossed a notepad onto her bed before making her way over towards Ginny's bed where they all sat.

"Lover boy is grabbing his soul mate up in his dorm," Demelza addressed Ginny, pushing Gemma's legs over so she had room to sit. "They'll meet us in the common room in five."

Ginny rolled her eyes.

"How was it?" Niamh asked. "Was Rowle nice at least?"

Demelza shrugged. "Sat there and grunted a lot," she replied, leaning back against Ginny's footboard. "Honestly, Harry did most of the talking. When it looked like Rowle couldn't piece two words together, Harry just started finalizing things so we could get out of there in time for the feast."

Gemma wrinkled her nose. "Do you think he's, you know, one of them? Isn't his uncle a Death Eater?"

"Who knows," Demelza replied. "Probably. Aren't they all little fuckers?"

Ginny shifted on the bed. "Not all wizards are evil just because their family is."

"Name one who isn't," Gemma challenged.

"Sirius Black," Ginny replied. "Trust me, most of the Blacks are evil little fucks but Sirius is different."

Demelza nodded. "Mum likes him. She goes on a lot of missions with him."

"Yeah, I'm pretty sure your mum is fucking him," Gemma added. "Did you see the way they looked at each other and touched each other when they were here in September?"

"Missions?" Niamh repeated. "Is this about the not-so-secret vigilante group thing again?"

"Yes," Gemma replied. "They think they're so clever by not confirming or denying anything, but my parents are very politically connected and even they said everyone knows about it."

"We're not allowed to say anything," Demelza interrupted loudly. "And my mum is not fucking Sirius Black. If she was, I'd know about it."

Gemma's face pulled. "No, you fucking wouldn't. That's not something parents tell their kids. Oh, darling, by the way, I'm fucking someone new. Let me tell you all about it."

Niamh bit her bottom lip, her eyes locking onto Demelza. "They did seem rather close."

"They're friends!" Demelza retorted.

Ginny kept her mouth shut. Harry hadn't said anything about it, though he was rather oblivious when it came to things like that so he may just not have noticed. But she couldn't deny she thought there may be something between them the couple of times she had seen them together. There was a palpable chemistry between them. If they weren't shagging yet, Ginny would be surprised if they never did the deed at some point in the future.

"Let's go meet up with Harry and Ron, all right?" Ginny said as she swung her legs off the edge of the bed. "You ready or what? I'm famished."

Demelza snorted. "Because you're a Weasley."

"It's called a healthy appetite," Ginny retorted as Niamh looped her arm with Ginny's.

"I just want to know where you put it," Gemma said as she eased off the bed.

"Gemma, you don't just ask people that!" Niamh argued. "Besides, she runs like all the time."

Demelza rolled her eyes. "It is quite obnoxious."

"Fuck off, you lot," Ginny said, laughing. "It's not pick on Ginny day."

"Ah, yes, that's Tuesdays. Thursdays is pick on Demelza day," Gemma said with a grin. "Want to talk about your new stepdad and stepbrother for a bit?"

"I will literally rip your fingernails off while you sleep," Demelza hissed.

"Stop the fighting!" Niamh shouted, her arm tightening around Ginny's. "We do not fight!"

"It's called playful banter, Niamh," Gemma insisted.

Ginny placed a hand on Niamh's as they turned to start down the staircase. "We're all just joking. Nobody is really upset."

Niamh leaned in close. "I don't like it, Ginny. Didn't you hear about the Ravenclaw girls? None of them are talking and they're all telling secrets about one another and it's a mess. Luna said that Maisie Dawson asked to be resorted. I don't want that to be us."

"We already knew the Ravenclaw girls were all bitches with the way they treat Luna," Ginny argued, but Niamh didn't look satisfied. "Niamh, I promise you, it won't be us," she assured her, patting her hand. "We can all take a joke and if one of us was actually offended, we'd speak up."

Niamh rested her head on Ginny's shoulder. "No, I know you're right."

They stepped into the common room. Mostly everyone had already gone down to the feast. Harry and Ron stood by the fireplace chatting. They made their way over to the boys, Harry looking up at them. His lips twitched as he soaked in Ginny's hair.

Ginny's arm slipped from Niamh's as she stepped up to Harry, rising on her tiptoes to greet him. He bent down, accepting the kiss. When they pulled away, Harry reached out to touch one of her curls.

"You look nice," Harry commented.

Ginny grinned. "We were bored. Niamh curled my hair."

"She has volume now," Niamh added, leaning in to talk to them.

"Uh… right, yeah, it looks… great with, with the volume," Harry replied, his face pulling.

Ginny intertwined her hand with his. "You're adorable. Now, you must feed me before I turn into an evil hag."

Harry chuckled, leading her towards the portrait hole. He told her all about the meeting with Demelza and Rowle, explaining what they'd be covering first in the Dueling Clubs. Ginny's name had been given as one of the student helpers for the younger years, so he explained to her that they'd meet Monday after dinner with everyone to go over their roles in the club.

Ginny couldn't help but smile at his enthusiasm. He seemed genuinely excited for the Dueling Clubs. Ginny leaned into his side, enjoying the smooth rumble of his voice.

Sirius drained the rest of his beer, setting the bottle down on the table. His mind pleasantly buzzed as he decided to move on to some liquor. He crossed the kitchen, opening the cupboard and selecting a bottle of whisky. Rolling his head, he tried not to think about what he would have been doing exactly fifteen years ago.

Slamming the bottle down onto his kitchen table, he opened the liquor. He didn't bother with a glass. Instead, he brought the bottle to his lips and took a large gulp. The liquor burned down his throat.

"Don't do this," a familiar male voice whispered.

Sirius whipped around, his eyes snapping around the room. Nobody was there. His fingers tightened around the neck of the bottle as he crossed the room. He pushed open the kitchen door and glanced down the hallway.

"Hello?" Sirius called, his heart hammering in his chest. "I'm not one to fuck with, all right?"

No response. Sirius ran his fingers through his hair, stepping back away from the kitchen door. Great, now he was hearing fucking voices. Sirius took another swig of the whisky as he stumbled back towards the kitchen table. He took a seat, leaning back in the chair and kicking his feet up on the table. He stared at the clock on the wall, watching as the time ticked closer and closer to James' time of death.

He hadn't known the official time of death until Hestia had given him James' and Lily's death certificates. Honestly, he didn't know what even possessed him to look at it earlier in the day. The one thing he did know was there was nearly two hours between when Lily had died and Sirius had arrived at Godric's Hollow. That meant that Harry had been stuck in his crib, sobbing his little heart out all alone for almost two hours. That thought made Sirius sick to his stomach.

Sirius continued to drink. More and more and more. Every time he blinked, he saw James' dead body searing into his eyelids. If he wasn't seeing James dead on the fucking floor, he was seeing a very small toddler Harry sobbing and crying out for him.

"Sirius, stop," a voice hissed in his head.

"Fuck off," Sirius slurred, a gasping sob escaping his lips. "Just fuck the right off."

A hand touched his shoulder, causing Sirius to jump. He whipped around to face the wall but nobody was there. There was only one possible explanation to what was happening. Sirius was losing his fucking mind. It had officially happened. It only took twelve years in Azkaban, three years of nonstop anxiety worrying about Harry, and the revelation that Lord Voldemort was his biological father to finally set him over the edge. Sirius couldn't help but laugh.

A shadow caught Sirius' attention out of the corner of his eye. His head snapped and Harry stood in his kitchen. The laughter died on Sirius' lips.

"What are you doing here?" Sirius asked, the bottle halfway towards his lips. "Harry, are you all right?"

Harry took a step closer to him. "Don't do this, Pads. Please, don't do this."

Sirius blinked, his eyes flicking up to Harry's forehead. Except there was no scar. His eyes weren't green. There was no thin scar across his neck. Nor could Sirius see any of Harry's various moles or freckles. Harry had certainly never called him Pads or Padfoot or any variation of his childhood nickname. Not that Sirius ever wanted him to. Years ago, Harry had looked too much like James. Sirius didn't think he could stand to hear that name from Harry's lips. Now, well, now, it just wasn't his nickname anymore. Nobody called him that. Not even Remus. It was like the two had silently agreed that those nicknames were dead.

"You can't do this to Harry," the Not-Harry figure said.

Sirius swallowed. "I'm dreaming. This is a bloody nightmare. I just need to wake up."

"No, you're not dreaming nor is this a nightmare," the man said flatly. "You're just intoxicated."

Sirius screwed his eyes shut, bringing the bottle to his lips and taking another large gulp. "You're not James."

"I certainly feel like James," the figure said. "This is a very familiar situation to one that happened years ago."

"Go 'way," Sirius snapped, his jaw clenching. "Get the fuck out of my head."

"You're going to drink yourself to death," the figure insisted. "You need to lay off the alcohol. Actually develop a better coping mechanism."

Sirius opened his eyes, turning to look at the figure that was definitely not James because James was dead and the dead just don't come visit you whenever you make poor life choices.

"Nobody will even care," Not-James said in a sure voice. "Honestly, if I was still alive, I'd jokingly call you Lord Padfoot or something," he continued with a shrug and a smirk. "It's a little funny, yeah?"

Sirius only drank some more whisky. The bottle was nearly empty. He'd need another one.

"Harry won't care," Not-James said, seemingly unable to shut up just like Real-James. "I mean, he's had Voldemort inside of his head for years. Which, by the way, you know why that is, don't you? You've figured it out, I trust."

No, Sirius hadn't bloody well figured it out, but he wasn't about ready to ask his hallucination or his dream or whatever was happening.

"Honestly, Harry will probably be relieved," Not-James added. "He hates the connection he has with Voldemort. He feels like something is wrong with him. If he knew about your connection with him, he'd feel like someone could finally understand what it's like to have a connection to a maniac that was never asked for."

Sirius didn't say anything. He only stood up from the table, downing the rest of the bottle as he crossed the room. He sat the empty bottle in the sink, trying to ignore how the room spun slightly. He grabbed another bottle of whisky from the cupboard and opened it.

"Pads, don't drink that," Not-James warned, his voice harsher. "You're drunk enough. Go sleep it off. I mean, you had how many beers before you had an entire bottle of liquor?"

Sirius turned towards the figure and made a big point of having a large gulp of liquor. It no longer burned his throat as he drank. It was like having water. His eyes flickered to the clock, a frown tugging on his lips.

"Pads…"

"Shuddup," Sirius slurred, pointing the bottle at him. "You 'fficially died six minutes ago."

Not-James nodded. "Yeah, fifteen years and six minutes I've been dead. Not a moment passed that I haven't been watching over you and Harry. We all have. Lily, Mum, and Dad. All four of us have just been watching over the two of you in shifts. It's nice when the two of you are together, so the four of us can be together."

Sirius took a stumbling step forward. He needed to sit down. Slumping into the chair, he took another sip of liquor.

"You promised me you'd watch out for Harry!" Not-James continued to yammer on. "You promised me you'd be the dad to him that I couldn't be! You're doing the exact opposite of that! You're killing yourself! Over what? Guilt for me dying? Well, guess what, Sirius, I'm more pissed off that you're doing this bullshit! I don't blame you for switching to Peter! I went along with it! We both thought we were being fucking clever! Or are you just killing yourself because you can't stand that Voldemort is your father? Do you think Orion was any fucking better? They're both lunatics! None of it matters! You know what my dad always said. Blood is just a suggestion for family. You get to pick your true family."

Sirius tried to block out the voice. He continued to drink his bottle of whisky, the edges becoming more blurred. He just needed it all to stop – the pain, the voices, the guilt, the anxiety, everything. Sirius just wanted to feel normal again. Honestly, Sirius couldn't even remember the last time he felt truly normal.

"SIRIUS!" Not-James shouted.

Except Sirius was done. He wasn't listening anymore to the ghost in the room. He just drank… and drank… and drank until he couldn't feel anything anymore.

Harry's stomach was so full it like it was going to explode due to all of the food he had eaten during the Halloween feast. Ginny's warm hand squeezed his, causing him to glance over at her. She shot him a dazzling smile, her free hand wrapping around his elbow. Harry glanced behind him to see Ron with a plate of sweets in one hand and his other arm slung around Niamh's shoulders. She laughed as she plucked a piece of chocolate off his plate and popped it in her mouth.

"Oi!" Ron shouted, his eyes widening. "Ron doesn't share food! You should have gotten your own takeaway plate!"

Harry shook his head, shooting his best mate an exasperated look. Niamh looked taken aback for a few seconds before she burst out laughing. She plucked another sweet from his plate and said something to him that Harry couldn't make out.

Turning to look where he was going, Harry saw Demelza appear at his other side, looping her arm through his. Demelza looked straight ahead, her chin raised slightly.

"Might as well get used to it, Harry," Demelza said. "You should know by now that Ginny and I are a package deal."

"I didn't say anything," Harry replied, though he felt rather awkward to have a girl on either side of him. That had definitely never happened before.

"Good," Demelza replied as she glanced over at him, her lips twitching. "Because you're going to get sick of me by the end of the year."

Harry only laughed. "I think I can deal with that. Got to keep my Quidditch team happy if we're going to win the cup this year."

"Harry!"

Harry slowed in his stride, Ginny and Demelza matching him. Marlene came rushing towards them, her face set into a deep frown. It was then that Harry realized that Marlene had not been at the feast. She looked like she had been crying with her face a blotchy red and her mascara smudged.

"Are you all right, Professor McKinnon?" Demelza asked, concern lacing her words.

Marlene forced a tight smile on her face. "I'm fine, thank you, Demelza," she replied before turning to Harry. "I just wanted to check on you, Harry. Make sure you're doing all right today."

Harry frowned. "Yeah, yeah, I'm fine. Why wouldn't…"

Harry froze. It was Halloween. His parents had died exactly fifteen years ago. Harry couldn't help but wonder at what time of day they had died. He had never asked and nobody had ever said. Harry's brow furrowed. It had been nighttime when Sirius had arrived at Godric's Hollow, from the memory Harry had accidentally seen over the summer in the Pensieve.

Sirius.

Harry's stomach swooped with dread. Sirius was alone on Halloween, the worst night of the year for him to be alone. Harry hadn't even spoken to him all day. He hadn't had time after class and before the feast because he had been caught up in that meeting with Demelza and Rowle. Marlene hadn't been present during that either, even though she was the professor in charge of the club. Now her absence suddenly made sense.

"Have you spoken to Sirius?" Marlene asked in a soft voice, a frown etching on her face.

"N-no," Harry admitted, feeling awful.

Suddenly, Sirius' increasingly foul mood made sense. The closer Halloween became, the grumpier Sirius was. Harry felt like an idiot for not connecting the dots before. What did that say about him? He didn't even remember the day his parents had been murdered.

Marlene nodded. "All right, can you go call him on the mirror? Check in on him? Sirius never dealt with emotional things appropriately. I doubt much has changed over the years. If he doesn't answer, call Andy or Remus to go check on him please."

"Of course," Harry replied, his fingers tightening around Ginny's hand.

Marlene thanked him before she dashed off. He watched her go, but she didn't get very far. Professor McGonagall stopped her, wrapping an arm around her shoulders and they made their way off in the opposite direction.

Harry turned to Ginny. "I'm just going to run to Hogsmeade quick," he told her, patting his pockets to make sure he had the cloak and the map. He did, because he always tried to remember to keep them on him this year at Sirius' request.

"I'm coming with you," Ginny replied before she craned around Harry to look at Demelza. "Can you tell Ron we'll be back later?"

Demelza nodded, her hand rubbing Harry's arm briefly before she darted after Ron and Niamh. Ginny squeezed his hand, pulling him towards the front entrance of the castle. They made it in record time to the Whomping Willow. Harry glanced around them quickly before pointing his wand at the notch at the base of the tree. The limbs froze and the two of them approached the trunk. Ginny pressed her wand to the entrance and muttered the password that Fred and George had given her.

Harry's heart hammered in his chest. He knew if Sirius was all right, he'd be more than a little angry for him leaving the castle. Except there was something in his gut that told him Sirius would not answer the mirror even if he tried it. That would just waste even more time.

Before they left the Shrieking Shack, Harry pulled his Invisibility Cloak from his pocket and they disappeared beneath it. Pushing the door open to the shack, he stepped out of the decrepit house. He fumbled for Ginny's hand and the two made their way towards the other end of the village.

They stayed under the cloak as they walked the streets of Hogsmeade, moving slow so no one would notice their feet or a stray limb. People cheered in the Three Broomsticks. A few people stumbled around merrily, one nearly knocking right into Ginny. Luckily, Harry had pulled her out of the way just in time, holding her close to his chest to dodge the wizard.

They turned down the cobblestone street to Sirius' terrace house. The lights were on, so that meant he should be home. When they stepped up to the door, Harry pulled the cloak off. He reached into his pocket, digging deep into the magically expanded hole for his father's wand. That too was something Sirius said he should always keep on him at all times in case he lost his own wand. Harry pressed the wand where the door knob should be and did the complicated unlocking pattern with the password that Sirius had taught him the previous weekend.

Ginny's brow furrowed as she looked over at him. "Platypus watermelon? What the bloody hell?"

Harry only shrugged in response. He hadn't exactly asked a lot of questions when Sirius had explained to him how to access the house.

Pushing open the door, Harry called out for Sirius. There was no answer. Harry's hand slipped from Ginny's as he jogged to the parlor and looked in to see nobody was in there, but there was an array of empty beer bottles littering the end table and coffee table. He called for his godfather again, louder this time, but there was still no response. Harry darted towards the back of the house towards the kitchen. He pushed open the door and Harry's heart nearly stopped.

Sirius laid on the floor by the kitchen table. A few empty bottles of beer sat on the table. An empty bottle of liquor lay smashed in front of him in a pool of vomit.

"Sirius?" Harry asked, his voice shaking as he quickly closed the space between them.

Crouching down in front of Sirius, he noticed his godfather was not moving. His breaths came out in shallow and sharp huffs. His eyes looked unfocused and it didn't even seem like he was aware that Harry was there. Harry wrinkled his nose at the stench of vomit, noting the sick was all over Sirius' clothes as well as the floor.

"Sirius," Harry choked out, shaking his godfather's shoulder. "Sirius, please."

Sirius' eyes moved, slow and sluggish. "James?" he croaked, his syllables swirling together. "Go 'way."

Tears burned Harry's eyes, the back of his hand pressing against Sirius' cheek. His pale skin was icy to the touch. Harry jerked his head up to see Ginny standing on the other side of the table and staring at Sirius with wide teary eyes.

"Can you find his mirror and call Andy?" Harry near shouted, harsher than he intended to.

Ginny snapped into action as she searched for the mirror around the kitchen for a few moments. She ducked down, grabbing the mirror off the floor from underneath the table. Harry noticed there was vomit on the mirror, but Ginny only wrinkled her nose.

"Andromeda Tonks!" Ginny shouted, grabbing a tea towel and cleaning the mirror.

Harry turned his attention back to Sirius to see he had closed his eyes. "No, no, no!" he shouted, tapping Sirius' cheek. "You can't go to sleep! Stay awake, Sirius!"

"Ginny?" Andromeda's voice rang in the room. "Are you all right, dear?"

Ginny sniffed. "Can you come to Sirius' house in Hogsmeade? Now?"

Sirius opened his eyes, though they were still unfocused. Harry let out a breath he didn't know he was holding.

"What happened?" Andromeda asked in a panic.

"We came to check on Sirius - Harry and me," Ginny explained in a rush. "Sirius is barely conscious. There's alcohol everywhere. He's vomited all over the kitchen. Harry's trying to keep him awake."

"Tell Harry to make sure Sirius doesn't choke on his own vomit," Andromeda instructed. "Tell him it's a good idea to keep Sirius awake, to keep doing that. Ted and I will be there in a few minutes."

Harry chewed on the inside of his cheek, wondering how the hell he was supposed to stop Sirius from choking if he vomited again. Moving his hand off Sirius' cheek, he pressed his fingers into the vein in his neck. His godfather's pulse seemed slow and irregular, but he didn't know enough to know just how bad it was.

"Sirius, it's Harry," he said, unable to keep the tremble out of his words. "Can you sit up for me? Please, Sirius, just sit up."

Sirius didn't move, his eyes sliding shut once more. "Harry," he slurred. "Harry, mmm, love you."

Harry grabbed Sirius under the arm and hoisted him up into a seated position. Sirius started to sway back but Harry tightened his grip around his godfather and helped him stay upright. Vomit spluttered from his lips and it took everything Harry had in him not to gag as well. Once he finished, Harry leaned him against the wall and stayed off to his side.

"Harry… Harrrrrrrry," Sirius called, his voice so soft that Harry could barely hear him. "I'm better than him, you know? Or, at least, I think I am. I don't wanna be like him. I don't… I fucking hate him."

A lump formed in Harry's throat and he just nodded, having no clue what Sirius was even talking about. "Yeah, yeah, you're not, you're not like him. You're Sirius, yeah?"

Tears welled in Sirius' eyes. "Everyone says you're like me. I hate that too."

Harry frowned. "What?"

"You're better than me, better than I could ever be," Sirius slurred, his eyes fluttering "You're so good, Harry. So good."

Sirius' eyes rolled into the back of his head. Harry gripped Sirius' shirt, not even caring about the vomit and shook him.

"SIRIUS!"

Except Sirius didn't move. Harry strained to keep him upright, his godfather's body becoming dead weight as his face suddenly lost all of its color. His fingers loosened around the fabric and Sirius' body slumped down to the ground. Harry stared at the still body, his vision blurring completely, as Sirius' lips had a tinge of blue to them. Harry had no idea what to do. He slapped Sirius' face a few times but his godfather remained stubbornly still.

"MOVE!"

Strong arms grabbed Harry, hauling him up from the ground and pushing him away. Harry stumbled back, realizing the man who had moved him was Ted. Harry's entire body trembled as Ted's wand waved to clean up the vomit before he shifted Sirius flat on the floor. And in an instant, Ted was performing chest compressions. One, two, three, four, five. An arm wrapped around his shoulders. Harry couldn't tear his eyes away from Ted, losing count of how many compressions he was up to.

"Harry, darling, it'll be all right," Andromeda's soothing voice said. "We called the Mediwitches on our way here."

Ted tilted Sirius' chin back, pressing his mouth against Sirius'. Ginny appeared at Harry's other side, her arms wrapping around his arm that lay listlessly at his side.

"Andy, see if the Mediwitches are here yet!" Ted shouted as he moved back to compressions.

Andromeda rushed from the kitchen. Harry reached up with his free hand, pushing his glasses up to wipe the tears away from his eyes so he could see what was happening better. He stared at Sirius, willing his godfather to just move.

Everything was a blur. Mediwitches burst into the kitchen. Sirius' shirt was sliced open, words that Harry didn't understand were being shouted. Ted talked fast, giving a full rundown of a medical history that Harry barely knew anything about: from the Sanguine Syndrome that ran in his family, to a family history of blood clots, to his allergy to some sort of pain potion, to his history of depression and anxiety, to his history of alcohol abuse, to his history with suicidal thoughts.

Harry's legs shook under his weight, a sob escaping his lips. He was fairly certain the only thing keeping him upright was the tight grip that Ginny had on his arm. A wand pressed to Sirius' chest and his body jolted against the ground. A pulse checked. Another jolt. A few more seconds passed. Yet another jolt. His pulse checked again. A wand waved. Beeps sounded slowly at first but then started to pick up.

"We have sinus rhyme," one of the Mediwitches announced. "Departing in ten. Nine. Eight."

Something was pulled from one of the Mediwitch's robes, the countdown continuing. Harry had no idea what was happening, but he thought it must be a good sign if they weren't shocking Sirius anymore. When they reached 'one', they all disappeared. Harry could only stare at the spot his godfather had been on the floor.

Ted appeared in front of him, his hands cupping Harry's face. "They got his heart started again. They took him to St. Mungo's."

Harry blinked, feeling a tear run down his cheek. "I want to go to St. Mungo's."

Ted clenched his jaw, his head nodding. "All right. Let's take Ginny back to the castle and I'll sign you out, okay?" he explained, his hands dropping from Harry's face and onto his shoulders. "We'll stay as long as we can, until the hospital kicks us out. You can spend the night at our house and we'll go back to the hospital in the morning during visiting hours."

"Ted…" Andromeda trailed off.

Ted turned towards her. "Go, we'll meet you there. Call Dora and Remus. They'll want to know. I have the kids."

Andromeda dashed out of the kitchen without another word. Harry's chest heaved. Everything had happened so fast that his mind was still trying to wrap around what had occurred. Ted wrapped an arm around his shoulders, pulling him close to his side. Ginny still held his hand, tight and comforting. Numbness skirted across Harry's skin as they made their way back up to the castle. Sirius' limp body flashing in front of his eyelids.

Remus couldn't help the immense guilt that swarmed in the pit of his stomach as he marched through St. Mungo's with Nymphadora by his side. He had spent the evening with Nymphadora, having dinner and laughing and not thinking about the fact that it was bloody Halloween. They avoided the topic at all costs, pretending like it was just another day. Except it wasn't just another day. And Sirius had remembered what day it was and he hadn't used a person as a distraction like Remus had. No, Sirius used alcohol. By the sounds of it, a lot of fucking alcohol.

Rounding the corner into the waiting room, he saw Harry sitting on the sofa by himself. His hands were shoved under his thighs and his head hung down, his long hair covering his features. Remus knew for a fact that his hair had never been so damn long before, certainly nowhere near as long the last time he saw him less than a week ago. But his hair was the perfect length to obscure his face and Remus wondered if it was a spot of accidental magic or very purposeful on the kid's part.

"Mum, what happened?" Nymphadora asked, her hand squeezing Remus' before she pulled him towards her parents.

"Sirius drank more than his weight in alcohol," Andromeda replied, her jaw set and eyes brimming with tears. "I was so bloody careless. I didn't even think to check on him tonight."

"Wait, you didn't find him?" Nymphadora asked.

Remus glanced over at Harry once more. The kid hadn't moved a muscle, not even acknowledging their presence. Remus' heart sank to the pit of his stomach.

"No, Harry and Ginny did," Ted whispered. "They called us as soon as they found him."

Nymphadora leaned in closer to her parents. "How did he find him? Was he unconscious?"

Andromeda flicked away the tears from her face with her fingers. "Barely coherent in a puddle of his own vomit. It was… ghastly."

Ted nodded, his hand pressing between Andromeda's shoulder blades. "I'm going to check on Harry, all right, love?" he said, kissing her on her cheek.

Andromeda only nodded as Ted moved behind her, closing the space between him and Harry. Ted took a seat next to the teenager, his arm wrapping around Harry's shoulders. Harry lifted his head as he leaned into Ted's side. Remus could see the tears sliding down Harry's cheeks. Ted murmured in his ear and Harry nodded his head.

Harry looked younger than sixteen. He looked like a small child as he curled into Ted's side. Remus' stomach twisted into knots. Why was it always Harry? It was like the kid had a permanent storm cloud following him around.

"I thought he was better," Nymphadora said in a hushed tone. "I mean, I know he's been grumpy lately but he's free and not locked up in Grimmauld anymore."

Andromeda shrugged, her arms wrapping around her middle.

"It's been fifteen years," Nymphadora continued. "I know James was his best mate and all, but he has custody of Harry. I thought he was relatively happy."

A lump formed in Remus' throat. "You didn't know James. There was no greater man than him. He, he was… he was one of a kind."

"James helped Sirius a lot when he broke away from the family," Andromeda added. "They were closer than best friends. They were brothers in every true sense of the word."

Remus ran a hand down his face, his eyes watching as Harry sobbed quietly in Ted's arms. Anger shot through him. He couldn't believe Sirius would be so careless. He could have died. That would have destroyed Harry.

"I refuse to go back to this!" Remus hissed, his muscles tensing in his jaw. "I saw him like this for a year! I thought he was better! I thought he was cutting back on his alcohol use! What the bloody hell was he thinking?"

"Remus, he's been an alcoholic since he was fourteen," Andromeda replied, her face drawn into a thin line. "Anytime anything becomes too hard emotionally, he just drank and drank and drank until he could barely move. I remember when we all thought Marlene had died. Do you know how many letters James wrote me about him? How worried he was about him? One time he left hiding to drag Sirius' arse home because he had destroyed the cottage and nearly drank himself to death."

Remus carded a hand through his hair, gripping the graying hair in his fingers. "He seemed better. I know he started drinking again once October hit, but it wasn't like it was last year. It almost seemed like he was just drinking enough to take the edge off."

"He's an addict, Remus," Andromeda said in a soft voice. "He's always had an addictive personality. Cigarettes, alcohol, caffeine. He doesn't sleep. He doesn't talk to anyone about his problems. He bottles it all up inside and then dwells on it until he can't handle it anymore. Then he becomes self-destructive."

Remus sighed. "I'll move in with him."

It was the only way. He had practically lived at Grimmauld Place with him. He could move into Hogsmeade, keep an eye on him so Harry didn't have to worry.

Andromeda gripped his wrist. "No, you and Dora are practically living together. You're not his keeper. Ted and I will be more vigilant with him. I'm sure Molly will help. She's been asking me about him a lot lately. I was… well, I thought he needed some time alone to process some things. I should have been more on him, but, well, you know how he is when he's upset. He likes his alone time."

Remus swallowed, tears shining in his eyes. "No, I was selfish. I didn't want to wallow on Halloween for another year. I decided to spend the night with Dora instead of him."

"This isn't your fault, Remus," Andromeda said in a sure voice. "It wasn't just Halloween that made him nearly drink himself to death."

Remus' brow furrowed. "What do you mean?"

"Sirius found out some… thing," Andromeda said cryptically. "Something dreadful. It's been playing on his mind a lot."

"What is it?" Nymphadora demanded. "Is this what he was upset with you about when he got back from France?"

Andromeda shook her head. "It's not my place to say. I thought after I talked to him he felt better about it, but I suppose I was wrong."

"We'll all be there for him," Nymphadora said in a sure voice. "We also need to convince him to seek professional help. He can't keep going on like this."

Remus nodded. "He's been so hyper-focused on Harry that he just pushes down his own problems. That's not healthy."

The three of them dove into plans on how exactly to help Sirius from here on out. Remus couldn't help but keep glancing at Harry. The kid looked positively devastated, his body not moving from being pressed tightly against Ted's side. Remus knew they all had to do better by Harry. He already had too much on his plate as it was for a sixteen-year-old.

Harry didn't know how long he sat next to Ted in the waiting room of St. Mungo's. But exhaustion had settled in a while ago and he found himself resting his head against Ted's shoulder. Ted didn't seem to mind in the slightest. In fact, Ted just rubbed his arm and talked in a soothing voice about anything and everything. Admiration for his honorary uncle flooded him. Honestly, Harry didn't know how he became so lucky to not only have Sirius in his life but also Andromeda and Ted.

Sirius.

His heart sank as he glanced over to where Remus was pacing across the waiting room. Andromeda and Tonks stood huddled together talking. Ted hadn't left Harry's side in hours. All Harry wanted to do was see his godfather and make sure he was all right. The later it got, the more worried Harry became.

"Does it always take this long?" Harry asked in a small voice, lifting his head off Ted's shoulder to look at him.

Ted shot him a strained smile. "Well, it all depends on how much he drank, Harry. I've never worked in the A&E or anything but I would imagine they'd get him nice and hydrated and possibly dispel the alcohol from his stomach. There are other things they can do to treat it as well, depending how much he exactly drank and how the alcohol is affecting him."

Harry nodded, not knowing what else to ask in fear that he would just be told bad news. He hated everything that was happening. The worst thing about it was that it could have been avoided if Harry had just called Sirius on the mirror or insisted that Sirius sign him out for dinner or something. How could he have forgotten that his parents died on Halloween and Sirius would be a mess?

"Family of Sirius Black?"

Harry straightened, his eyes flying to the Healer that had just arrived in the waiting room. He jumped up from the sofa, Ted right alongside him. Ted, much like Sirius would have, kept an arm slung causally around his shoulders. In an instant, Andromeda was on his other side and fumbling for his hand. Tonks and Remus lingered somewhere behind them.

"We're his family," Ted announced. "How is he?"

"He's stable," the Healer started. "We dispelled the alcohol from his system, hydrated him, and kept an eye on his levels for a bit. He's awake, albeit tired. We will keep him for observation for the night."

"Can we see him?" Andromeda asked.

The Healer eyed Harry warily. "Two at a time, over the age of seventeen can see him."

Harry's heart sank.

"You're going to deny his son access?" Andromeda snapped. "This is his son. He'll be seventeen in less than a year."

"The rules are the rules," the Healer said with a sigh as he focused on Harry. "I'm sorry, lad."

Ted gave Harry's shoulder a squeeze before his arm dropped. "Look, I'm not quite sure you fully understand the situation here," he said, taking a step forward. "My name is Ted Tonks, I am the Assistant Healer-in-Charge down in Everyday Ailments. I know that sometimes we bend the rules in extenuating circumstances to help our patients. That boy behind me, as you full well know, is Harry Potter. He's the one who found Sirius unconscious. Sirius has… a long history of depression. It would do them both some good to see each other right now. Harry won't stay for long, but he's been here all night waiting. An hour tops is all I'm asking for and then we'll take him home. Sound reasonable?"

The Healer seemed to be debating on what to do. Several moments passed before the Healer nodded and allowed Harry to go back with Andromeda and Ted. Remus and Tonks stayed behind in the waiting room, and Harry looked back to see them embracing as they made their way down the long corridor.

Harry couldn't ease the anxiety in his chest. While he was more than happy that Ted used his authority to gain Harry access to Sirius, Harry had no idea what state his godfather would be in exactly. He had never seen anyone who had drank so much that they needed the hospital. At the house, Sirius had looked ghastly.

They stopped outside of one of the doors. Andromeda knocked gently. Sirius' hoarse voice called for them to enter. She pushed open the door and stepped in first, Harry trailing after her.

Sirius sat up in the hospital bed. His hair was limp and greasy, falling into his dull gray eyes. Dark circles resided underneath his eyes. Somehow, he looked thinner in the hospital robes than he had before. Harry didn't exactly know when he had started to lose the weight but it was very obvious in a way it hadn't been before when he was wearing his leather jacket and hooded sweatshirts.

Taking a step further into the room, Sirius turned his attention to Harry. Tears immediately brimmed Sirius' eyes, his face pulling. Harry couldn't recall a time he had ever seen Sirius cry.

"Hey," he croaked.

Harry slowly closed the space between them, his limbs trembling. When Sirius reached out a hand for him, Harry crumbled. He found himself lurching at his godfather, wrapping his arms tight around Sirius. A dry sob escaped Harry's lips as Sirius gripped Harry tighter.

"I'm sorry," Sirius whispered. "I'm so sorry, Harry."

Harry eased down onto the bed, never letting go of Sirius. He buried his face into the crook of his godfather's neck, his eyes screwing shut. Sirius' fingers tangled in Harry's hair, keeping his head firm against him.

"You need help, Sirius," Andromeda whispered.

Harry shifted his head, pressing his cheek against Sirius' shoulder. He stared up at Andromeda, his glasses pushing against Sirius and causing them to go askew.

"I know," Sirius croaked, clearing his throat. "I know."

Andromeda reached out, her fingers toying with Sirius' hair. "We love you so damn much, Sirius. You can't keep doing this."

"I know," Sirius repeated.

Harry pulled back away from Sirius, remaining seated on the bed. He wiped underneath his eyes before he righted his glasses. Sirius was openly sobbing, not bothering to hide the tears.

"I know a really good Mind Healer," Ted announced. "She's phenomenal. She has a private office out in the country, very secluded and the staff there is amazing. We went to school together, so I know her quite well."

"Admitting you need help is the first step, Sirius," Andromeda added. "You were around Dementors constantly for twelve years. That sort of depression just doesn't go away on its own. You've struggled with it too when you were a kid."

Sirius' eyes closed, a few more tears escaping the corners of his eyes. Harry grasped his godfather's hand in his, giving it what he hoped was a reassuring squeeze. He really didn't know what to do in this sort of situation. But he thought of all the times that Sirius had placed a reassuring touch on him when he was upset or nervous. He thought about all the times Ginny grabbed his hand and gave it a squeeze. If there was one thing Harry knew about comfort, it was that he liked a comforting touch when he was upset. He imagined Sirius would be the same way.

Opening his eyes, Sirius glanced at Harry briefly before he turned his head up to Andromeda. "I think I, uh… I think I need a potion for depression," he admitted, his face wincing.

Andromeda nodded, sniffing. "I think you do too."

Sirius let out a shuddering sigh. "It was easier to push it all behind before. When things were so hectic and, and I had other things to focus on. But then October came and I couldn't help but think of all the mistakes I made. And I just dwelled on them. Then, then… France fucking happened and I, I… Andy, I can't take it. Then, Harry's attacked at Hogsmeade. Now, Malfoy's threatened Cepheus and Charlotte."

Harry frowned, wanting to know so desperately what happened in France. "I won't go to the village anymore, if it helps."

Sirius snapped his attention to Harry. "I want you to be normal, Harry."

"But I'm not," Harry protested, his jaw tightening. "I know you've been trying to let me just be a teenager for once, but I'm not just a normal teenager. I'll never be just a normal teenager. Nothing has ever been normal about me and I don't think it will ever be normal."

Sirius stared hard at Harry before he jerked his head. "You're right. You haven't had a normal life since the day you were born. You've been a target since you were a few hours old because of the prophecy," he agreed, a deep frown working on his face. "But I'll be damned if I don't try to get you something normal."

Harry frowned, wondering if this was normal: sitting at hospital all evening, worrying about the only person who he had ever considered parent material being hurt, having some deep conversation on a hospital bed.

"Okay," Harry replied in a lame tone, because he didn't know exactly what to say.

Sirius swallowed visibly, his gaze snapping down to his lap. "There's, uh…" he trailed off, clearing his throat. "There's something I need to tell you too. About why I… it wasn't just Halloween that made me drink so much. It's not the threats against you, Cepheus, and Charlotte either. It's… it's about me. Something terrible about me."

"It's not terrible, Sirius," Andromeda interrupted.

Harry looked over at Andromeda. So she knew whatever the big secret was.

Sirius laughed bitterly. "Well, you had a lot longer to process it than I did."

Andromeda sighed. "I wasn't going to tell you something I didn't know wasn't one hundred percent true," she argued.

Harry furrowed his brow. "What is it?"

Sirius squeezed Harry's hand. "Tomorrow we'll have a long chat, all right? It's late and you need to be getting back to Hogwarts."

"Ted said I could stay with them tonight so I could see you tomorrow," Harry argued, his jaw setting.

Sirius sucked in a breath. "Fine, that's… that's fine," he replied, looking up at Ted and Andromeda. "Can you take him to Grimmauld at least? It's more secure than the cottage."

"You two stayed with us at the cottage in August," Andromeda argued. "It's safe. We've added more wards to the place since then. Nobody will even know he'll be with us."

"We'll ask Remus and Dora to spend the night as well," Ted said with a smile. "I'll have Remus stop by your place to grab the bracelet for Harry, so we'll activate that tonight too. We are prepared."

"We've thought of everything," Andromeda added. "We knew we needed the house more secure for Christmas for the two of you. We've been on top of it. You and Harry can spend the weekend so you can have your chat with him about things that don't actually truly matter but you seem to think they do," she said as Sirius rolled his eyes. "We'll celebrate your birthday as a family on Sunday. Then you can take Harry back to school Monday morning and go back to your house."

Sirius' face pulled. "Yeah, all of that except the birthday shit, please."

"We're celebrating your birthday, end of discussion," Andromeda said in a final voice.

"Yeah, unless Ted and Harry find out our little family secret and they want nothing to do with me anymore," Sirius retorted.

"Ted already knows," Andromeda said, waving her hand.

Sirius' eyes flashed. "You told him?"

"Yes, Andy told me after the two of you talked about it and nothing changes," Ted explained in a soothing tone. "I don't care. Doesn't change my opinion about you or anyone else in the Black family. It's a very Walburga thing to do, isn't it? Not to mention, completely hypocritical. Which, honestly, that makes my day. I wish I could have a chat with her. In fact, maybe we should go to Grimmauld this weekend. I'd love to sit down and just talk with her about blood purity."

"Ted," Andromeda groaned.

"Who else have you told?" Sirius demanded. "I thought this was between us!"

"No one!" Andromeda insisted. "I only told Ted because, because, well, he's Ted. You tell your spouse everything. We don't keep secrets. It's called having a healthy relationship."

Harry looked between the adults, completely confused. He didn't want to wait until the morning to have the conversation. It seemed ridiculous to wait, especially when Ted and Andromeda didn't even care.

"Can't you just tell me now?" Harry pressed. "It's obviously nothing."

Sirius stared hard at Harry. "It is something. Tomorrow as soon as I'm released, all right? We can't talk about it in such a public place anyway."

"There's privacy charms," Harry protested.

Sirius sighed. "Harry, it's one in the morning. I'm too exhausted to have this conversation with you right now."

Ted placed a hand between Harry's shoulder blades. "It's late, son, we have to get you home. Sirius should be released early in the morning."

Harry didn't want to leave.

Sirius pressed a hand on the side of Harry's neck. "I love you. I'll see you tomorrow and we'll talk, all right, kid? I… I'm sorry again. I'll get help. I promise."

Harry nodded. "I love you too, Sirius."

With that, Harry rose from the hospital bed, his stomach churning something awful. He walked into Ted's waiting arm, letting Ted pull him close. Andromeda bent down, kissing Sirius on the cheek before saying something that Harry couldn't hear in his ear. The three of them made their way out of the hospital room. Harry looked back before the door closed, watching as Sirius buried his face in his hands as his shoulders shook violently.

Hope you enjoyed the newest chapter! I told you it was an intense one! Don't forget to drop a review. They keep me motivated to keep writing and keep a consistent posting schedule.

Special thanks to Bell for editing for me. She's a rockstar.