"Brumous"

"Chapter Thirty-Five: Sirius' Secret"

Sirius just wanted to go home. He wanted out of the fucking hospital bed. Most of all, he just wanted to tell Harry he was Voldemort's biological son and see where the cards fell so he didn't have to worry about the outcome any longer. He hoped his godson wouldn't hate him too much. Honestly, Sirius couldn't blame Harry if he did. Voldemort was evil incarnate. The same vile blood that pumped through his veins also pumped through Sirius'.

He couldn't lie. Sirius might have always known on some level that he was an evil little shit. The way he could carelessly take a life without batting an eyelid. His reckless fumbling through life. The arrogance that seeped from his pores. His short temper. How easy it was for him to become annoyed or triggered. His obsessive personality. The way he closed himself off from everyone except for a few select people.

Sirius screwed his eyes shut, his head slamming against the headboard behind him. Truth be told, Sirius hated himself. He always had. He sure as hell suspected that he always would. He didn't think any amount of depression potion or talking about his feelings could fix that.

A knock sounded at his door. Sirius scrubbed his hands along his face before he called for them to enter, hoping it was the discharge Healer so he could get the fuck out of St. Mungo's. He doubted it though, since it was so early in the morning. He rolled his head towards the door and called for them to enter.

Who he didn't expect to see in his hospital room was Marlene McKinnon. She didn't look happy as she entered the room, her chin jutting up and her face unreadable. Closing the door behind her, she pressed her back against the wood and stared at him.

"Can we talk?" she asked, her hazel eyes boring into him.

Sirius nodded, waving to the chair next to his bed. "I have nowhere to go until they let me out of his hell hole."

Marlene didn't smile. She just crossed the room, taking the open seat next to his bed. She crossed her legs, the top one bouncing. Sirius just felt too bloody exhausted to deal with her little lecture. He was sure Andromeda would lay into him when Harry wasn't around. He didn't need Marlene to as well.

"You are a fucking moron," Marlene started, her jaw tight.

"Good morning to you too," Sirius said in a dry tone, his eyes rolling up to stare at the ceiling. "If that's all, you can leave."

"Do you think this is what James would want?" Marlene barreled on, ignoring him. "Do you think he'd want you to, to fucking drink yourself to death and leave Harry? If Harry lost you, he would never recover from the emotional trauma. He'd be beyond damaged."

Sirius glanced at Marlene, his eyes burning. "You don't have to make me feel more guilty than I already do."

Marlene sniffed, crossing her arms over her chest. "I know you miss them. I do too. For me, it's like they just died, and Harry's suddenly a teenager and it all seems so… wrong. I feel like I'm in a nightmare. Everything has just been so terrible that I can't stand it."

"Marlene…"

"But I didn't try to kill myself last night," Marlene continued.

Sirius shook his head. "I wasn't trying to kill myself," he whispered. "But you're right about everything being terrible. Ever since I walked into Godric's Hollow and saw James… dead on the floor, I feel like I've been trapped in a nightmare that I can't wake up from. Things just keep getting worse and worse and fucking worse."

"What happened?" Marlene asked, her arm extending and her fingers wrapping around his. "Sirius, what else has happened?"

He squeezed her fingers. "I didn't know I could hate the Blacks more than I already do but somehow they've managed to outdo themselves."

Sirius couldn't help the words spilling from his lips. It felt like he was twenty again, spilling his heart out to Marlene on the sofa of their little cottage. He had missed her. The ease in which they talked, the unspoken respect and understanding between them, and the way that she made him feel more like a person and not a tool of the Black family. It was easy to slip back into old habits, now that she acted more like herself and didn't look at him with hesitation.

Marlene picked up his hand from the bed, wrapping his hand between both of hers. She leaned forward, her elbows propping up on the bed. Sirius swallowed as she stared at him.

"Tell me why," she whispered. "Tell me what happened."

Sirius felt the tears burn his eyes. "Nothing. It was just… it was Halloween."

Marlene pressed their intertwined hands to her lips. "Sirius, I know you. I'm me again. Tell me what happened."

Sirius screwed his eyes shut, tears pouring down his cheeks. The secret had been eating away at him for weeks. He couldn't handle it, couldn't push it to the back of his mind like everything else. Sirius just felt dirty, unworthy, disgusting in a way he had never felt before.

Marlene pressed their intertwined hands to her heart. "We tell each other everything, remember? I have baggage now too, so we can share that as well."

Sirius opened his eyes, his gray meeting her hazel. "Orion's not my father."

The words were so soft that he wasn't entirely sure he even said them out loud. His chest untwisted just a tad to finally say the words to someone who hadn't already suspected.

"Isn't that a good thing?" Marlene asked. "He was a fucker."

Sirius' face pulled. "My father is Tom Riddle. I'm Lord Voldemort's son."

Marlene stared at him, her eyes never dropping from his face.

"I'm going to tell Harry today," Sirius continued in a rush. "I need to before someone else does. It could… it could destroy our relationship. I mean, it may once he finds out the truth but, but at least I have a shot if I tell him myself, right?" he asked, desperate to hear what she thought. "Marly, please, say something."

"Can you use it?" Marlene asked in a hushed tone.

Sirius blinked. "What?"

"Use it, you know, against him? Voldemort?" Marlene elaborated but not enough that Sirius was following her.

"I don't… what?" Sirius pressed, his brows furrowing.

"He's been obsessed with you since you were a kid, Sirius," Marlene continued, seemingly unbothered by the news. "He's wanted you to join him since you were sixteen. You've turned him down time and time again but he never stopped. He didn't press any of the rest of us in the same way he pressed you. Suddenly, it makes sense. But obviously he still wants you. If he didn't, he would have killed you while you were living in Hogsmeade and you were an easy target. He would have hunted you down because you stand in the way of him getting to Harry. The less people who care about Harry, the better. It increases his shots tenfold if he can take out every single person who holds a strong connection to him."

"He must know I would never join him," Sirius reasoned.

Sirius meant it with every fiber of his being. He hated the man more than he had ever hated anyone before – more than Walburga, Orion, Arcturus, Bellatrix, Malfoy, any of them. Voldemort had killed his true family, orphaned his godson, ruined his fucking life.

"It doesn't matter. He must have some sort of feelings towards you, no matter how fucked up they may be," Marlene reasoned, her grip tightening around his hand. "He targeted our entire group. My family was close to the Potters, so he tried to wipe us out all in one go. He killed Dorcas. He flipped Peter. I bet if the Fidelius wasn't placed when it was with Peter as the Secret Keeper, then Mary and Remus would have been the next targets," she explained, rising from her chair and sitting down on the edge of Sirius' bed by his thighs. "He was eliminating everyone close to Lily and James because he couldn't get to them. But never once did he go after you. You were, arguably, the most powerful of us all. You were certainly the most knowledgeable, growing up in the environment you did. You should have been the first person he wanted to take out because you were the biggest threat to him. You were always well versed in pureblood culture and politics. You knew who all the players were. You knew too much. Yet, anytime he saw you, he only tried to recruit you. He never once tried to kill you."

Sirius swallowed. "He healed me once," he admitting, remembering the night Edgar Bones had died right in front of him. "Told me it was my birth right or some shit to join him."

"Sirius, you have an advantage," Marlene pressed. "And you need to utilize it."

"I'm still not following," Sirius snapped, feeling his irritation rise. "You want me to what? Join him and spy on him? Because fuck that."

Marlene sighed, her forehead creasing. "No, I'm not saying that. I'm merely suggesting that if you ever find yourself face to face with him and Harry is with you, you may be able to buy yourselves some time if you appeal to him."

Sirius wrinkled his nose. "Yeah, no thanks. I'd rather fucking kill myself."

"If it saves Harry's life, then it's worth it," Marlene insisted, her eyes searching his. "Sirius, you can be very charming when you want to be. Keep him talking, toy the idea of you joining to spare Harry, and keep him stationary until the rest of the Order arrives or you figure out an escape route."

Sirius scoffed. "Like he'd ever agree to spare Harry."

"He may think about it if you propose it being the only way you'll willingly join," Marlene pressed. "It's a stalling tactic. That's all you need."

Sirius surveyed Marlene, recognizing the stubborn glint in her eyes. "All right. I'll keep that little tidbit in my back pocket."

"Good," Marlene whispered. "For what it's worth, Riddle or Black… they both fucking suck. Doesn't change anything,"

Sirius let out a small huff of air. "Right."

"Harry won't care," Marlene continued, giving his hand a tight squeeze. "From what I know of him, he's beyond kind. He won't judge you."

Sirius hoped she was right. He needed her to be right. A lump formed in Sirius' throat, a wave of emotions flooding him.

"I really did fucking miss you," Sirius admitted.

Marlene smiled, her eyes sparkling with tears. "The first time I saw you after… all that time apart, I just questioned everything I thought I knew. It was like my heart was telling me all the memories were wrong. I wanted so badly to just…" Marlene trailed off, her eyes sliding shut. "I don't know. Hug you? Kiss you? It was… this weird compulsion and it scared me. Now with my memories back, I think… I think Bellatrix could manipulate my mind but she couldn't manipulate my heart. And, and I know you've moved on with Tegan. I don't blame you. She's… amazing," she continued, a small and forced chuckle escaping her lips. "But I will always love you, Sirius. I will always be here for you. I hope… I hope you feel the same way. We were friends first, anyhow. There's no reason we still can't be friends, you know?"

Sirius stared at her. The words moved on echoed in his head. Sirius hadn't moved on, not really. He wasn't even Tegan's boyfriend, a fact that she made very clear just the other week. Sirius had pushed Marlene away ever since she turned up alive, too broken to even consider being around her. In pushing Marlene away, he had attached himself to Tegan with copious amounts of sex and a lot of laughter. But they never truly talked about anything real. The only time they had come close was when he called her for a good shag while drunk. But they had never mentioned that night again, opting for fun and nothing serious.

Sirius cared about Tegan. He liked her. But Marlene was… well, Marlene. There was a spark between them that Sirius couldn't deny. Sirius couldn't help but think of the engagement ring around her wand, buried in a casket six feet under in the cold hard earth.

"I was going to propose," Sirius admitted. "Had a ring and everything."

Marlene blinked at him, her lips thinning. "You did?"

Sirius nodded, clearing his throat. "James knew. I showed him and Harry the ring one day."

"Merlin, our lives could have been so different," Marlene said with a small chuckle, her head shaking.

Sirius looked down at their clasped hands. "Yeah, it could have," he said in a hoarse voice. "I denied being Secret Keeper because of your death. I felt responsible and I had become so anxious about everything. I didn't want to kill the Potters like I killed you. I think sometimes that if I would have known you were alive, I would have accepted the position of Secret Keeper and I would have protected them. James and Lily could be alive right now."

Marlene's thumb brushed along his knuckles. "We were dumb kids who didn't know what we were doing. What happened to Lily and James… it was nobody's fault except for Peter's and Voldemort's. You have to let go of the guilt, Sirius. It's destroying you."

Sirius swallowed. "I know. I'm trying," he whispered, his head snapping up to look at her. "I will always be here for you. You are my friend, one of my best friends. And I never stopped loving you either."

Marlene's chest heaved, emotion swarming her eyes. Her hand slipped from his.

"You're with Tegan," she said in a strained voice. "I should go."

Sirius nodded, despite not actually wanting her to go. "It's casual, by the way. Tegan and me. We're just… fucking," he said, wincing.

Marlene stiffened, her hands clasping tight in her lap. "You were always a one girl kind of bloke, Sirius. You didn't sleep around. You threw everything you had in your relationships."

"You were my first ever real relationship," Sirius admitted. "So, yeah, I guess I was all in with you."

Marlene rose from the bed, putting space between them. "Get help, Sirius. Harry needs you."

"Marly…" Sirius croaked.

Marlene only shook her head, fresh tears running down her face. She flicked them away with the tips of her fingers. Without a word, she turned and made her way out of the hospital room.

Sirius collapsed against the pillows, his head hitting the headboard. He had no idea how he found himself stuck in the predicament he was in. Nothing seemed to be easy in his life. Honestly, if Sirius was being honest with himself, he wanted both Tegan and Marlene. Tegan was a breath of fresh air, a new beginning, a clean slate. Marlene, Merlin, Marlene was his constant, the one who knew everything, the one who understood him better than he understood himself. Both women appealed to him for completely different reasons.

But did it really matter? He wasn't boyfriend material right now. There were too many things wrong with him. Besides, Harry was the priority. His godson needed him in a way that Tegan and Marlene didn't. Sirius needed Harry – he needed his last remaining family member like he needed fucking air. Sirius needed to focus on Harry and no one else, because there was a war raging around them and it would no doubt become more brutal in a very short amount of time.

Harry woke up, his body stiffening at his unfamiliar surroundings. Slowly, he sat up, his eyes focusing on a picture of a young Nymphadora Tonks beaming at the camera while holding a baby dragon. The previous night washed over him, weighing him down. Pushing the covers off him, he turned in the bed and planted his bare feet on the cool hardwood floor. Swallowing, he stood up.

He had to borrow a t-shirt and pajama bottoms from Ted – which Andromeda had done her best to make longer for him so that his ankles were covered. She had left him a jumper and a pair of slippers that she also tried to stretch for him, but his heels hung off just a tad. Regardless, he shoved the jumper on over his head. Harry appreciated the gesture, especially when she promised she'd grab him some spare clothes to keep at the house for the weekend and any other last-minute stays.

Carding a hand through his hair, Harry crossed the bedroom and opened the door. He could hear faint voices drifting from downstairs. Creeping along the walls, quiet as a mouse, he made his way closer to the stairs. He started down, crouching low as he went.

"I'm just not sure he should live alone," Andromeda's voice wafted in a hushed tone.

Harry stayed put, covered perfectly by the wall at the top of the stairs. He eased down on the step, his elbows propping up on his knees.

"If he actually goes to see Vidya, he'll be fine. I'll contact her today and get him an appointment," Ted assured. "But he's not a child we can coddle, Andy. If we do that, he'll only push us away."

Andromeda huffed. "You didn't see him that day when we talked about Orion. He was so angry with me. He was shouting at me and demanding answers. I mean, I didn't even know what to tell him!"

"Andy, love, you were a child," Ted reasoned. "You never knew for sure. What were you supposed to do with that information? Tell your even younger cousin what you suspected?"

Harry leaned forward, waiting for the secret to drop. Even though Sirius said he would tell him about the secret as soon as he was released from the hospital, Harry was impatient. He had been waiting for this information since France.

"He understood eventually and then he just broke down," Andromeda explained with a sniff. "I don't think I've ever seen him cry so hard. Not even when he ran away from home and he told us about what happened. He was a mess, Ted. I should have been more on him about it, but he never brought it up again. He acted like nothing happened the next couple of times I saw him. You know how he is – Mr Stoic. I just assumed he wanted to try to forget about it and I gave him some space. I shouldn't have given him space."

"You one hundred percent needed to give him some space," Ted argued. "Andy, I love you and I am in no way, shape, or form trying to make you feel bad, all right? But you have a tendency to mother him a bit. I get it. Your childhoods were chaotic and there was no love. I've heard Sirius talk about how it was more like a business than a family, which is baffling to me. We both know Bellatrix didn't have a loving bone in her body. I think you took on that role for those younger kids – for Sirius and Regulus and even Narcissa. You watched out for them. You mothered them. You were the one they turned to when they were sick or hurt. I mean, you and Sirius talked about how you sat next to him as he vomited as a child. He needed that then. They all needed that as kids and you were there for them. But Sirius is… he's an adult who has been through a lot. He's now caring for Harry. He's not that sad and isolated child anymore. Sometimes he does need space. Sometimes we need to be checking in more. But nothing you did or didn't do caused last night. You were there for him in the way he needed, when he needed it."

"I look at him and I see the little boy who always ran to give me a hug because he never received any affection from Walburga or Orion," Andromeda said, tears obvious in her voice. "I would hold him for hours. He followed me around like he was my shadow. He told me everything. Now, now I feel like I'm losing him. He doesn't talk to me like he used to. I hate that."

Harry pressed his chin on his arms, a frown working its way on his face as he listened to Ted and Andromeda talk about Sirius. His heart panged for his godfather, because he knew more than anyone just how lonely a childhood could be. He wished he had had a big cousin like Andromeda growing up, someone to look out for him. But he had no one until he was eleven and met Ron on the train to Hogwarts.

"I hate to say this, because you know I love Sirius like a brother," Ted said, his voice hesitant. "But no amount of us or Remus or anyone hounding him to seek help would have worked. I think he needed to realize it for himself. I think last night, he truly hit rock bottom. You heard what he told Harry. He'd get help. Finally. I think last night needed to happen for Sirius to realize just how broken he truly is. He has a lot of demons he needs to sort through. The best thing we can do is be supportive and make sure he goes to see Vidya and work out his issues. I don't think him being put on some potions for depression and possibly anxiety is a bad thing. I think he desperately needs it."

"He's so different than he was as a child," Andromeda said in a soft tone. "He used to be so happy, so full of life. I just watched him become withdrawn and… well, sad over the years. Ever since he got out of Azkaban, I just barely recognize him. The only time I see him truly happy is when he's around Harry. I mean, Ted, we let them both down."

"Andy, I know what you're thinking and you need to stop," Ted said. "Don't do this to yourself. We've talked about this."

"I should have done more. For both of them," Andromeda insisted, a sob escaping her lips. "I should have fought harder to get Sirius a trial. I should have checked in on Harry. I mean, we let that child be abused by his aunt and uncle."

Every single muscle in Harry's body tensed at the words. Sure, Sirius knew some of the stuff he went through with the Dursleys, but he didn't know Ted and Andy knew. Harry couldn't help but wonder who else knew what.

"We did no such thing," Ted said in a sure voice. "We knew the Potters but we did not know the Evans. We had no idea that they wouldn't love him like we would have. We had no claim over Harry. We never would have been granted custody, or even the right to visit him, especially not with how outspoken you were about Sirius' innocence. You know that."

Harry shifted on the stairs, his body leaning forward to try to peek around the wall that separated him from Ted and Andromeda. He saw them in the parlor, Ted's hands gripping a crying Andromeda's shoulders. Ted looked equally as upset, deep lines rising from his furrowed brow up to his hairline.

"He was supposed to go to Sirius," Andromeda pressed, her body trembling. "With Sirius in jail, he would have wanted Harry to go to us."

"True as that may be, Harry didn't know us. We never met him because he was deep in hiding from the moment he was born," Ted explained, rubbing Andromeda's arms. "We didn't know enough nor were we close enough to have any sort of claim on him. I mean, Andy, we didn't even know his aunt and uncle's names until Sirius asked me to look into obtaining a copy of his medical file! We had no idea where he even was! But none of that matters, all right? The past is the past and we can't change that. We're here now. He's with us now. We're here for both him and Sirius, and we're doing our damn best."

Andromeda nodded, her head dropping. "No, no, I know you're right. I just… I wish things had been different. Harry should have grown up with Sirius and we should have been Harry's aunt and uncle."

"I wish so too, love," Ted replied, a smile spreading across his lips. "But we are now. We can only show him that we love him and hope that he feels the same way towards us."

Andromeda wiped her fingers under her eyes, her head nodding. "Have you contacted St. Mungo's yet?"

"Yeah, they're processing Sirius' release now," Ted explained. "Why don't you go give Harry the clothes you bought him this morning and I'll run to the hospital to bring Sirius home? You and Harry can make breakfast for us all. He seemed to enjoy cooking with you in France. May help take his mind off things."

Harry eased himself from the stairs, making his way back up so that Andromeda wouldn't catch him eavesdropping. He made his way along the wall and slipped into the bathroom, easing the door shut as softly as he could. Running a hand through his messy hair, he tried to process everything he had heard. Except he just couldn't. A wave of emotions swarmed inside of him to hear Andromeda and Ted talk about him and Sirius with so much… love. It was too much to process.

After using the loo and splashing some water on his face, he exited the bathroom to see Andromeda lingering in the doorway of the bedroom he stayed in with a ginormous bag sitting by her feet. He offered her a strained smile, closing the distance between them.

"Good morning, darling," Andromeda greeted, pulling him into an embrace. "Ted's gone to pick up Sirius at the hospital, so they should be home in a bit depending on how far down Sirius is on the list of discharges."

Harry nodded as he pulled out of the hug, shoving his hands into his pajama bottom pockets. "That's great."

Andromeda smiled up at him. "I went to the store this morning and bought you a bunch of clothes. Why don't you go shower quick and get ready for the day? Then you can help me cook some breakfast, if you want."

"That sounds great. Thank you, Andy," Harry assured her. "I'll be down in like ten minutes."

Andromeda beamed up at him, pressing her palms against his cheeks. "I'll be in the kitchen with some tea. No rush. Take as much time as you need, darling."

With that, Andromeda let him be. Harry grabbed the bag on the floor and entered Tonks' old room. He sat the bag on the bed and saw that Andromeda had, of course, gone overboard in her shopping. There were more than enough clothes to last him two weeks without being cleaned.

Harry was, yet again, faced with the impossible task of attempting not to dwell on what could have been his childhood. One filled with Sirius as a father, the Tonkses as his aunt and uncle, and an endless supply of love. The only person he could truly blame was Peter Pettigrew for not only betraying his family to Voldemort but also taking Sirius away from him. Harry hated Pettigrew. Standing in Tonks' bedroom with the softest emerald green jumper he had ever held in his hands, Harry wished for the first time ever that he had allowed Sirius and Remus to kill Pettigrew in the Shrieking Shack. No one deserved death more than he did.

Sirius really couldn't put off his talk with his godson any longer. Harry had been more than patient, peering at him across the breakfast table as he pushed around his food. He didn't even say anything when Sirius announced he was going to go upstairs to wash up to get the smell of vomit out of his hair. Andromeda and Ted had even left to run a few errands to give them time alone to talk, his cousin giving him a very pointed look as they left through the front door.

Pushing down his nerves, Sirius gestured for Harry to take a seat on the sofa in the parlor. Sirius rubbed his sweaty hands on his thighs, watching as Harry sat down and looked up at him expectantly. The kid's normally bright eyes looked duller and wide with anxiety. Sirius' stomach tied into knots as he took a seat next to him, his eyes casting down to his hands clasped together in his lap.

"I have thought about how to tell you this for weeks now," Sirius started, his mouth dry and his tongue heavy. "And I never quite figured it out because I haven't been able to, to even accept it myself."

Harry sat pin straight, not moving a muscle. "You can just say it."

Sirius' eyes flickered up to Harry's face. Just say it. Maybe Harry was right. It was better just to blurt it out than drag it out unnecessarily. Sirius needed to know where he stood with his godson, to stop worrying about it every single damn second of every single day. Andromeda hadn't cared, but she also had years to come to terms with it. Marlene hadn't been phased, acting like being a Riddle wasn't any worse than being a Black, which Sirius didn't agree with but it wasn't like he was going to argue with her about that fact.

"My father isn't Orion Black," Sirius said in a thick voice.

Harry's brows furrowed. "Okay? Isn't that good news? I mean, you don't even like the Blacks."

Sirius' lips pulled. "The alternative is so much worse, Harry."

Harry shifted, a deep line appearing between his brows.

Sirius swallowed. "It's Voldemort," he blurted out before he lost the nerve.

Harry blinked. "What?"

"Walburga knew Voldemort since their Hogwarts days," Sirius explained as fast as he could. "I think I told you that before. She was a year ahead of him. The entire family suspected they were having an affair for years. But he… he's my biological father. He was Regulus' as well."

Sirius held his breath, watching as Harry processed the revelation. He didn't blink, not wanting to miss the moment it sunk in. Sirius needed to know his godson's initial reaction.

"Can you talk to snakes?" Harry asked suddenly.

Sirius' lips spluttered. "What? Is that seriously what you're asking me?"

Harry shrugged. "Dumbledore said it was a family trait," he reasoned. "I can and I thought, well… what if you could too? I don't fancy only sharing the ability with Voldemort but, but if I shared it with you then… then that's a lot better, right?"

Sirius reached out a shaking hand and gripped Harry's arm. "I can't talk to snakes, Harry."

Harry's face pulled, looking dismayed. "Then maybe it's not true. Maybe he's not really your biological dad."

"Harry…"

"Have you ever tried to talk to a snake?" Harry asked.

Sirius didn't know why Harry was harping on the Parseltongue aspect of things and not that his biological father was a sociopath. "No, I haven't tried to talk to a snake but I didn't understand the one in the Gaunt memory."

Bile rose in his throat as he mentioned the Gaunt memory. Merlin, that was his family. He had been disgusted at the very sight of them.

"Maybe you should try, like really try," Harry suggested, pulling his wand out from his pocket.

"Harry, what are you doing?" Sirius asked.

Waving his wand, Harry conjured a little garden snake. Sirius jolted back, not at all expecting that. The little green snake coiled around Harry's wrist. Harry hissed, low and friendly sounding. Sirius tried to keep his face neutral. He had been unnerved the first time he had heard Harry speak in Parseltongue, even though he had known about the ability for years before that.

"Harry, can you… unconjure the bloody snake?" Sirius asked, his eyes snapping between the critter and his godson.

Harry only hissed some more. Sirius swore to fucking Merlin that the snake shook its head before it turned to stare right at him.

"He couldn't understand you," Harry said, his eyes flickering over to Sirius. "He says you smell nice though."

"I smell nice?" Sirius asked, an incredulous chuckle escaping his lips.

However Sirius thought telling Harry the bombshell news was going to go, it certainly wasn't like this. He expected Harry to ask questions, to be disgusted, to walk away for a bit to process. Sirius didn't think that he'd be staring down a snake his godson conjured for the sole purpose for Sirius to try to chat with it. The snake stretched its neck, trying to get closer to Sirius. Harry moved his hand closer to Sirius and the snake slithered onto shoulder.

"Harry…" Sirius whispered, his jaw tightening.

"He won't hurt you," Harry confirmed. "He wants to smell you better."

Sirius stared into Harry's eyes, feeling the snake wrap around his neck. Its fucking head disappeared underneath his shirt and lingered around his chest. A muffled hissing could be heard.

"He says he likes you," Harry explained, his head cocking to the side. "He asked if you'd keep him."

Sirius sucked in a breath. "No, I will not keep a snake as a bloody pet, Harry. Can you please take it away?"

"Him," Harry replied, frowning. "It's a boy snake."

"Harry," Sirius said in a flat tone.

"Do you think it's the Gaunt blood?" Harry asked, his tone genuinely curious. "Even if you can't speak to snakes, they still seem to like you."

Sirius licked his bottom lip. "There's a journal that Regulus left me. Voldemort was displeased Regulus couldn't talk to snakes either, thought Walburga was lying about our parentage. He ordered a snake to attack Regulus but it refused to."

A beat passed. Sirius didn't know what else to say. Harry seemed fine with the revelation, seemingly unbothered in a way that unsettled Sirius deeply.

"I don't care, for what it's worth," Harry finally said, his eyes searching Sirius'. "Did you think I'd care? Is that why you waited so long to tell me?"

Sirius didn't break eye contact. "I was ashamed," he admitted, his voice hoarse. "And… I've had a lot of people turn their back on me for one thing or another. I didn't want to risk losing you too."

Harry dropped his eyes to the snake around Sirius' neck. "You never turned your back on me so why would I turn my back on you?"

Sirius reached up, his fingers wrapping around the snake and tugging it away from his body. "Why in Merlin's name would I turn my back on you?"

Harry shrugged, still not meeting Sirius' eyes. "Because… just because."

Sirius held the snake in his hands, the damn thing trying to slither back up his arm. He turned in his spot on the sofa, dropping the damn thing in the potted plant. After telling the snake to stay, he turned back to Harry. Sirius reached out a hand and gripped Harry's hand in his.

"Come on, kid, I told you my big dark secret," Sirius whispered, trying to keep his voice light. "What are you thinking?"

Harry didn't look up nor did he speak. Sirius took his free hand, placing his hand underneath his chin and gently forcing his godson to look up. Tears brimmed Harry's eyes.

"Hey…" Sirius trailed off, his brows furrowing. "What's wrong?"

"I kill people," Harry said, his voice cracking.

Sirius opened his mouth but no words escaped.

"People die around me all the time. My grandparents. My parents. Cedric. I'm like a, a parasite or something," Harry confessed. "I have no idea why you'd want to risk sticking around me. Sometimes I look at the Weasleys and think, I think that they'd just be better off if they never spoke to me again. Mr Weasley almost died last year, Sirius. Somehow, Ginny and Ron can still manage to even look at me."

Sirius tightened his grip on Harry's hand. "We've talked about this before, Harry. I didn't think you still had those feelings."

Harry shrugged. "Hogsmeade was attacked because of me. Because they wanted me. And, and I guess I just… I don't know. I started thinking about it again."

Sirius shook his head. "They wanted Marlene," he explained, or at least that's who he thought they wanted. "You would have been a bonus. They probably thought you wouldn't even be there given how carefully I've had you hidden."

"You nearly died last night!" Harry choked out.

"Not because of you but because of my own self-loathing and destructive tendencies," Sirius replied in a fierce tone.

"You didn't even think you could trust me enough to tell me that Voldemort was your dad," Harry replied in a miserable tone.

"It wasn't that I didn't trust you, Harry!" Sirius protested. "It was a me issue, not a you issue."

Harry looked down at his lap. "I don't like when you keep things from me."

Sirius held his breath for a few moments. "I'm learning, kid. I don't… I've never been someone's dad before. It's not like I had years to figure it out either as you grew up," he explained in a regretful tone, causing Harry to look up at him. "You were fifteen months old and then you were suddenly thirteen and now you're sixteen in a blink of an eye. I missed so much of your life and, and I missed dealing with all the small issues to get my footing. I went from kissing your scraped knees to… well, now, you having a lot bigger problems than just some cuts and bruises. I don't know what I'm doing. I'm just trying to do my best because I know I can't just kiss the pain away anymore."

Harry sniffed but no tears fell onto his cheeks. "I just… I just want a family," he whispered, his bottom lip trembling. "I just want us to be a family."

Sirius cupped Harry's face with both his hands. "We are a family."

Harry's eyes slid closed, a stray tear escaping his eye. The wetness connected with Sirius' thumb.

"You are the only person I wanted to tell," Sirius insisted. "The only person I cared to know the awful truth."

Harry opened his eyes and looked up over at Sirius once more.

"This is our family secret, all right? That's why I told you, because you're my family and I love you and this… this was big. You should know it," Sirius continued, his thumb brushing the tear track off Harry's cheek. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you earlier. I just… I hate it. I don't want it to be true."

"Is… was this secret why you tried to kill yourself?" Harry asked, his voice cracking.

Sirius sighed, dropping his hands from Harry's face to his shoulders and wondering why everyone thought he had attempted to kill himself. "I wasn't trying to kill myself. I was just trying to quiet the noise in my head. It was your parents' death date and, and I was battling with this knowledge about Voldemort and I just… I wanted to numb it all."

Harry's jaw clenched, his eyes searching Sirius'. "I don't like when you drink so much."

Sirius nodded. "I don't like it either."

"Can you, err… I mean, can you go to meetings or, or something for it?" Harry asked, his body shifting on the sofa.

Sirius bit his bottom lip. "I think I need a little more than meetings, Harry."

Harry's brow furrowed. "What do you mean? Like what Andy and Ted were talking about last night? You going to a… a Mind Healer, was it?"

Sirius swallowed. "I think I have, uh… well, I know I have some depression and anxiety issues," he replied, his face pulling. "Andy's pushing me to talk to a Mind Healer, yes, and maybe be put on some potions."

"I think… I think that's a good idea," Harry agreed. "I mean, I don't know anything about it but if it'll help, I think you should. Because I don't… I don't want to lose you."

Sirius gave Harry's shoulders a tight squeeze. "For you, I will," he whispered and he meant it.

A few seconds passed. Then Harry dove at Sirius, wrapping his arms around his middle. Sirius did the same, tangling his left hand into Harry's unruly hair. All of the tension that had Sirius tightly wound slowly came undone. Of course, Harry wouldn't have abandoned him. The kid was too kind, too good, too amazing. He knew better than anyone just how vile someone's family could be.

Sirius pressed a kiss on top of his hair. "I love you, kid," he said in a thick voice.

Harry tightened his grip around Sirius' middle. "I love you too, Sirius."

Sirius knew he had to be a better person for Harry. He had spent too long forming bad habits and adopting terrible coping mechanisms. As he laid in that hospital bed, watching as Harry entered looking nervous and upset, Sirius knew he needed help. He was just angry at himself for not seeking it a lot sooner. Sirius had denied for months, years even, just how much his mental state had deteriorated while in Azkaban. Now he couldn't run from it any longer. He couldn't push it away into the very back of his mind. It was time he worked on himself because he truly couldn't be there for Harry until he fixed himself.

It had been Andromeda's idea that they visit the graves of James and Lily Potter that weekend. Sirius had not taken to the idea, but Harry became oddly excited. The closest he had been to Godric's Hollow was his grandparents' house on the outskirts of town. But he really couldn't see anything from the manor's windows. On Saturday morning, Harry had sat next to Ted at the breakfast table, watching as Sirius and Andromeda had one of their intense rows.

"It would do you both some good!" Andromeda insisted, her wand jabbing at the sink to wash the morning dishes.

"You made me an appointment with a fucking Mind Healer because I nearly drank myself to death a few days ago, and now you want me to go to the graves of the people that was part of the reason I drank so heavily? Are you for fucking real?" Sirius snapped before he gestured wildly towards Harry. "Not to mention the security issues with Harry!"

Andromeda huffed, wheeling around to face him. "You don't think I've thought of Harry's safety in all of this? I've talked to Dora and Remus. They agreed this was important for not only you, helping you deal with your grief but to give Harry the opportunity to see where he's from. We have contacted several Order members who have all agreed to go with us."

Sirius sneered. "You did this all behind my back?"

"Not everyone is out to get you, Sirius!" Andromeda said in an exasperated tone. "You never had closure. You never got to say goodbye."

Sirius ground his teeth. "Yeah, well, I think seeing James' dead body was enough of a goodbye."

Harry winced. Ted placed a hand on his shoulder.

"What about Harry?" Andromeda insisted.

Sirius' shoulders sagged as he turned around, his eyes locking with Harry's. "What do you want to do?"

Harry didn't know what to say. He wanted to go but he didn't want to force Sirius to go. Sirius must have recognized his inner turmoil because his godfather crossed the room and took a seat across from Harry. His face softened.

"Look, if you want to go, I will take you," Sirius said. "You deserve that. I shouldn't be selfish."

Harry held his breath for a few moments before he nodded. "I'd like to go, if that's really okay. I don't need to, though."

Sirius offered him a strained smile. "We'll go then."

"Perfect because it's already set up for tonight," Andromeda announced in a chipper tone. "Then tomorrow we will do whatever you want to do since it's your birthday, Sirius."

Sirius rolled his eyes, the corners of his lips twitching. He glanced back at Harry and shook his head. Harry only smiled back at him.

That evening, Harry stayed close to Sirius' side, just like he had been told to do... every single time he was out in public. His eyes flickered around the small village of Godric's Hollow, soaking in the cobblestone lanes, to the quaint little shops, to the cottages. Sirius stopped briefly next to a knotted tree and pointed out a set of initials (SOB and JFP) etched into the trunk.

"We were ruddy wankers," Sirius commented in an odd tone. "Defacing century old trees."

Scattered around the village were familiar faces. Kingsley read a Muggle newspaper on a bench in front of the chemist. Tegan Robins and Gawain Robards sat outside a small tea shop. Tonks and Remus chatted with someone selling magazines and newspapers on the street corner. Harry entered the cemetery, feeling Sirius' arm wrap around his shoulder as they passed Bill and Mr Weasley standing side by side in front of a grave. In the distance, Dumbledore laid flowers down on a stark white headstone, looking odd in his three-piece Muggle suit and long white beard.

Harry's heart thumped in his chest, wondering if it was a silly thing to make all these people stand guard just so he could visit his parents' grave. Except ever since seeing Sirius relapse in his drinking on Halloween, he agreed with Andromeda that it would do them both some good. Now, Harry wanted to run as his insides twisted.

They stopped in front of a gravestone and Harry stared at the names of his parents.

James Fleamont Potter

March 1960 – 31 October 1981

Lily Josephine Potter

30 January 1960 – 31 October 1981

The last enemy that shall be defeated is death

Harry stared at the epigraph, knowing he had heard it somewhere before but couldn't place it. He turned to look at his godfather to ask but decided against it. Tears brimmed Sirius' eyes as he stared at the headstone.

His eyes glided down to the earth beneath his feet, bile rising up his throat at the very thought that he was standing directly above their bodies. This had been the closest he had ever physically been to them that he could remember, not counting their ghostly appearance in the Little Hangleton graveyard.

Sirius crouched down, tugging Harry to follow him. Keeping one hand secure on Harry at all times, Sirius reached out and placed his free hand on top of the headstone. Harry glanced over at his godfather to see him openly crying, the tears pouring down his face at an alarming rate.

"Hey, James," Sirius croaked. "Lils. It's me. Sirius. And Harry."

Sirius' thumb brushed against the stone. His shoulders shook, an odd sort of gasping noise escaping his lips. Harry leaned into Sirius' side, not really knowing what to say or do. Movement caught Harry's attention. He looked up to see Andromeda and Ted standing a few graves away. They didn't even bother to pretend like they were doing anything except watching out for them. But Harry had the distinct feeling they were there to watch out for them emotionally and not physically like the rest of the Order. Harry's chest burst with warmth.

"Harry's safe," Sirius whispered. "I promise. I'll keep him safe."

Harry glanced over at Sirius to see that he had become blurry. Pushing his glasses up, Harry brushed the wetness away from underneath his eyes.

"You'd be so proud of him," Sirius continued in a strained voice. "He's so kind and smart and brave. He's a really great kid."

Harry sniffed, dragging the sleeve of his hooded sweatshirt under his nose.

"He's got your crooked smile, James, and your terrible eyesight. He's dreadful at cleaning his glasses just like you were. They're always so smudged that I don't even understand how he sees half the time," Sirius said, a watery grin flitting across his face as he glanced over at Harry. "He has your sass, Lily," he continued, turning back to the stone. "You should hear some of the comebacks that come out of his mouth. Not as legendary as a bullying toe rag, but he's pretty clever. He fights like Fleamont. He's powerful and I never want to be on the receiving end of his wand. I think he'd have me on my arse in five seconds flat. He has Euphemia's heart. He's so kind that you just feel like you never want to be without him, like nothing bad could ever touch you with him around."

Despite the cold November air assaulting them, Harry had never felt warmer upon hearing how he was like each of the Potters. Harry rested his head on Sirius' shoulder, his eyes staring at his parents' names. His heart ached painfully in his chest.

"I'm sorry," Sirius continued. "I'm really fucking sorry. I don't even know where to begin with my apologies. I've made so many mistakes and I'm trying really hard not to make anymore."

Then there was just silence. Harry wondered if he was supposed to say something, but he didn't really know what to say. He didn't know them like Sirius had known them. Sirius' cheek pressed against the top of Harry's head.

"Do you want to say anything, kid?" Sirius asked in a soft tone.

Harry shrugged his one shoulder. "I don't know what to say."

"Anything, I suppose," Sirius replied. "Tell them about Quidditch or your friends or Ginny. Anything you want."

Harry felt rather silly. It's not like his parents could actually hear him or anything.

"You don't have to say anything if you don't want to," Sirius assured him, his palm rubbing his arm.

Harry swallowed. "I don't want to."

Maybe one day that would change. But right now, seeing their graves for the first time and hearing Sirius talk to them like they were actually there, Harry just felt out of his depth. He didn't want to talk to the ghosts of the people he couldn't remember for reasons he couldn't entirely explain.

They rose from the ground. Harry pressed close to Sirius' side, keeping his head ducked down low. Sirius steered him to the grave next to his parents', and Harry didn't know how he was supposed to feel when he saw the names of his grandparents.

Fleamont Cecil Potter

5 April 1905 – 15 December 1980

Euphemia Miriam Potter

30 June 1906 – 20 December 1980

Those who love us never really leave us

Harry stared at the epigraph, knowing Sirius had said those exact words to him in the past. He supposed he never thought about Sirius hearing them somewhere else before. Harry's heart twisted at that bit of information, feeling like a bit of his family shined through in Sirius.

Sirius sniffed. "Thank you, for everything."

It was the only thing Sirius said. No long speech like he had said at James and Lily's grave. Sirius only sniffed and steered Harry to the headstone behind his grandparents. It all seemed impossible that at one point in time so many Potters had walked on this earth. Now it was just him. Just Harry. The last Potter.

Henry James Potter

25 June 1881 – 6 May 1976

Elizabeth Catherine Potter

7 February 1882 – 10 September 1979

A quill is mightier than a wand

Harry stared at their names. He had known their first names, but never their middle names nor their birthdays. He assumed Sirius didn't know them all that well, at least not enough to give him those bits of information, as he had said before he had only met his great-grandparents several times. But Harry couldn't help but notice that the Potter family liked to reuse names as much as the Black family did. Harry liked that.

"Whenever you're ready, kid," Sirius said. "We could find more, if you like, but I don't know anything beyond Henry and Elizabeth."

Harry didn't want to see more Potter graves if he didn't know their connection to him. It would just lead to more questions that could never be answered for him. There was one thing that Harry wanted to see though. He looked at Sirius, mucking up the courage to actually ask him.

"Can I, err, see the house?" Harry asked in a small voice.

A shadow cast on Sirius' face for a few moments until he nodded. Pale and slightly trembling, Sirius led Harry through the graveyard and walked down the cobblestone lane. They passed an obelisk, which shifted when they walked by it. Harry stared at it, watching as it morphed into two people – a man and a woman. In the woman's arms was a baby. Sirius didn't stop though. In fact, he picked up his pace as they turned down a street.

They stopped in front of a house with the roof blown off, the statue long forgotten. Harry's breath caught in his throat. Tears blurred Harry's vision. This is where his family had died. This is where his life as he knew it ended.

"Number 7 Crested View Drive," Sirius announced, pointing at the room where the roof was blown off. "That was your bedroom. Your mother ran upstairs and tried to barricade in there while your dad met Voldemort in the entryway."

"Can we go inside?" Harry asked.

Sirius' breathing picked up, all color slipping from his face. He didn't say anything, but he nodded. Harry stayed close to Sirius, pressing tight against his godfather. They made their way up the little walkway and onto the stoop. Harry took a step into the house, feeling Sirius slip away from him. Harry turned around to see Sirius frozen on the stoop, his eyes staring at a spot on the floor.

"Are you all right?" Harry asked.

Sirius leaned his body against the doorjamb. "Can I stay here for a bit? You can… look around. I'll be in shortly."

Harry nodded, turning around to see his parents' wedding photo hanging on the wall with Sirius and Marlene on either side of them. On either side of his godparents were his grandparents. There was another picture of his parents lounging in a hospital bed, a baby with a tuft of wild black hair in his mum's arms. Harry's heart twisted as he stepped closer to the display of pictures, his eye catching a picture of a toddler Harry sitting on Sirius' hip and clinging to his neck. His godfather beamed, his arm that wasn't holding Harry flung out to the side, blocking an exasperated Marlene from getting any closer. Harry couldn't help but laugh at the photo, grabbing it off the dusty table and holding it in his hands.

"I was messing with her," Sirius' voice rang from behind Harry's shoulder, tight and sad.

Harry looked up at his godfather. "You told me you used to hog me as a baby."

Sirius clapped a hand on the back of Harry's neck. "I did. See, this proves it."

Harry bit his bottom lip. "Can I keep this?"

"Harry, everything in this house is yours," Sirius reasoned. "Take whatever you want."

Nodding, Harry grabbed the other pictures, stacking them nicely in his arms. He held them close to his chest, as though they would break if he didn't have them secure in his arms. He walked around the house, Sirius following him but not talking much. They made their way through the parlor, the dining room, and then the kitchen. There were teacups by the sink, one with a lipstick stain on the rim.

The house reminded him of the Burrow. Cozy, personable, pictures everywhere. It wasn't sterile with nothing out of place like at Privet Drive. No, Godric's Hollow looked lived in, like the Potters just enjoyed being a family and didn't worry about appearances. Harry wanted to go upstairs, watching as Sirius stood rooted on the landing as though that was the last thing he wanted to do.

"Sirius…" Harry trailed off.

"I… I saw James first," Sirius spoke in such a soft whisper that Harry had to strain his ears to hear him. "He was in the entryway. Then, then I heard you crying upstairs and I bolted up the stairs," he explained, gripping the railing as he stepped onto the first step. "I met you in the hallway. It was the last time I saw you for twelve years."

Harry moved down a step closer to Sirius. "Well, this time, you get to leave with me."

Sirius sniffed, a tight smile crossing his features. "Yeah, yeah, I do."

They made their way upstairs. Harry wanted to see his bedroom. He rounded into the room, seeing the twinkling stars through the hole in the ceiling. But he didn't focus on it for long. He was far more interested in seeing the first fifteen months of his life.

His fingers trailed along the scorched wallpaper, his eyes landing on a very small broom propped up against the wall. Harry sat the picture frames down on a dresser before he crouched down to the floor and picked the broom up. He rolled the broom in his hands until he saw the cursive writing at the handle that read Twinkling Moonbeam Tiny Tyke Racer.

Sirius cleared his throat. "I bought you that. For your first birthday. James thought it was brilliant until he had to chase after you on it all day long. Lily rolled her eyes."

Harry rose to his full height, gripping the broom tightly in his hands. He wanted it, even if he was too big to use it now. His eyes soaked in the room from the Quaffle and Snitch mobile above the cot, to the laundry basket with a few dirty clothes in it, to the rocking chair that had four stuffed animals sitting in a group together. Harry walked over to it, his hand reaching out to touch the soft fur of the big black stuffed dog. Bile rose in his throat when he noticed the rat looking like Scabbers in the group of stuffed animals. He wanted to rip its head off.

"Marlene had those custom-made for your first Christmas," Sirius explained. "She thought it was funny."

Harry wondered if it would be too childish to take three of the four stuffed animals. He didn't even know what he'd do with them, just like the broom still clutched in his left hand. All he knew was that he wanted them.

"Sirius, Harry," a voice called.

Harry whipped around to see Andromeda standing in the doorframe, worry etched in her brow.

"What's wrong?" Sirius asked.

"There's some trouble near the graveyard," Andromeda explained. "Dumbledore wants the two of you out of here now."

Sirius nodded, gesturing for Harry to come closer to him. "Who?"

"Death Eaters," Andromeda explained. "And… well, Voldemort as well."

"We'll go out the back," Sirius said in a stiff tone, steering Harry towards the door.

"Shouldn't we help?" Harry asked, stopping to snag the photos off the dresser.

"No, there's more than enough Aurors and Order members in the village," Sirius replied. "We'll only be a distraction."

Harry swallowed, following Sirius and Andromeda down the stairs. "How did they know we were here?"

"They may have just been checking the area knowing it's the weekend after Halloween," Andromeda explained. "They may know you're not at school right now."

Harry allowed Sirius to lead him to the back of the house where the kitchen was located. They stepped out onto the back deck, making their way down the couple of steps into the back garden. Harry turned around to catch a glimpse of the house, but his eyes could only zero in on the shimmering green Dark Mark hanging high in the sky over the village.

"Andy, get over here!" Sirius snapped, his arm wrapping tight around Harry's shoulders.

Andromeda reached out a hand and Sirius grabbed it. A second later, they were gone.

They reappeared in the familiar Apparition point a little way down from the Tonks' cottage in Exeter. Sirius didn't waste any time, forcing them to move quickly down the road. Nobody talked as they went. Harry's heart hammered in his chest, hating that they left in such a haste when everyone else was fighting.

When they made it to the house, Sirius started to mess with the wards on the front door of the house. Harry sat his belongings down by the staircase before making his way towards his godfather.

"What can I do to help?" Harry asked.

Sirius glanced down at him. "Let me know if you see Ted or anyone else coming, so I can let them in."

"Do you actually think that they'll know that we're here?" Andromeda asked, making her way to stand next to Harry by the front window.

"I don't know," Sirius admitted, scratching his chin with the tip of his wand. "Your sisters might suspect we're together since we were seen together at the Quidditch game. They know we've always been close."

Andromeda frowned at that, wrapping her arm around Harry's shoulders. Harry peered out through the window, his eyes scanning the darkness for any movement. Sirius sliced his palm with his wand and pressed his palm against the door. Then, he stopped, his features paling.

"Sirius?" Andromeda pressed.

Sirius swallowed, dropping his hand from the wood. "Sorry, I… I forgot I can't do that," he replied, healing the gash in his hand and looking oddly at the blood on his hand.

Andromeda's arm left Harry as she stepped up to him, her fingers gripping his forearm. "Do you want to use my blood? Bella and Cissy can get through easily, but at least it would buy us time for Voldemort."

Sirius' brow furrowed, like he didn't know what to do or say. Harry stared at his godfather, his insides twisting. Honestly, Harry hadn't connected Lord Voldemort being Sirius' biological father and the dismantling of the blood wards. It suddenly made sense, like a lot of things made sense in recent days.

"No," Sirius croaked. "It'd be stupid to do, I suppose. Bella will be with Voldemort if they come. Honestly, we should go somewhere with the Fidelius. Grimmauld, probably."

"Grimmauld isn't good for you," Andromeda argued. "Let's put the Fidelius up now."

Sirius' limbs trembled, his breathing picking up. "I suppose you could be Secret Keeper," he said in an odd tone. "I mean, we didn't… do that before because Dumbledore was worried it wouldn't be as strong if the person was living in the house, but we don't have a lot of options right now."

"I was thinking you'd be my Secret Keeper," Andromeda pressed.

"No," Sirius said automatically, his head shaking.

"Sirius, please," Andromeda insisted, her tone urgent and desperate.

Sirius' jaw tightened. "I can't," he whispered, his eyes blazing as he stared at Andromeda.

"I'll do it," Harry said, stepping forward. "I'll be your Secret Keeper."

Sirius' attention snapped to Harry, the lines in his forehead appearing to be deep crevices. "No."

Harry suppressed a groan. "If you won't, I will. I can be trusted."

"It's not about trust, Harry," Sirius said in a soft tone.

"Then what is it about?" demanded Harry, his fists clutching at his side.

"We'll go to Grimmauld," Andromeda announced in a loud voice as she stepped towards the little table in the entryway, pulling out a quill and a piece of parchment. "I'll write Ted a cryptic message. He'll get it."

"Sirius," Harry stressed.

"The Fidelius gets people killed, Harry," Sirius snapped. "Bellatrix won't have any issue trying to squeeze the secret out of you because she would love to kill Andy. You won't die swiftly. You'll be tortured for weeks, if not months on end until you'll willingly give her the secret. If Voldemort suspects you are a Secret Keeper for anyone, he'll want that secret before he murders you."

Harry shrugged. "Better chance that I get rescued then, I suppose."

"Harry!" Sirius exclaimed, looking crazed.

"Ready!" Andromeda announced. "Let's go."

"No!" Sirius shouted, reeling on Andromeda. "You can't leave a note for Ted saying where we are! Are you bloody mental?"

Andromeda crossed her arms over her chest.

"I'll do it," Sirius growled, carding a frustrated hand through his hair. "Perform the fucking spell. Harry, step out on the front porch. Nobody else can be in the house when it's cast. If you see anything, I need you to get back in here and we'll cease the spell."

Harry held his tongue as he wrenched open the front door and stepped out into the cool November air. The Warming Charm on his hooded sweatshirt had long worn off, but he was too stubborn to recast it. He stared out into the darkness around the cottage, his wand clutched in his right hand.

The minutes dragged out. Harry had no idea how long it took to cast the charm or what the big deal about it was for Sirius. If he was going to be Secret Keeper for anyone, Andromeda and Ted were the obvious choice. They would be Secret Keeper for Sirius and Harry in a heartbeat. That was how family worked, wasn't it?

A shadow moved in the distance. Harry took a step back towards the door, his wand raising up to point at the shadow. He squinted, not moving. The figure limped forward and Harry recognized them underneath the moonlight. His hand pressed tightly against his side. Harry bolted off the porch without another thought, his heart hammering in his chest.

"Ted!" Harry shouted.

Ted stopped at the edge of the property. He wasn't looking at Harry but beyond him. Harry turned back briefly to see the house was gone.

"They're casting the Fidelius," Harry explained in a hushed tone, his eyes focusing on the blood that seeped between Ted's fingers. "Are you all right?"

Ted nodded. "Yeah, son, I'm fine," he replied, reaching out his free hand and gripping Harry's shoulder. "You three are all right?"

Harry nodded. "We're fine. What, err… what happened after we left?"

"Nothing. A few injuries. An arrest. No deaths," Ted explained.

A beat later and Sirius appeared out of thin air, his jaw tight as he looked between the two. He shoved a piece of parchment at Harry and Ted leaned over his shoulder. Harry read the address, memorizing it perfectly before looking up to see the Tonks' cottage appear before him. Sirius barked for them to get inside, his arm looping around Ted and helping him into the house. Harry followed, a lump forming hard and heavy in the pit of his stomach.

I hope you enjoyed the newest chapter! Don't forget to leave a review. They motivate me to chugging along! A few housecleaning notes. 1. I'm sorry for not reviewing to reviews this week. It's been hectic lately and I have a lot of personal things going on. Time is just not on my side right now. 2. Because my life has been hectic lately, I'm going to take a two week posting break. So the next new chapter will be on Sunday August 27th. I just need the time to have a reset and things should be less hectic after then.

Special thanks to Bell for editing. Special thanks to funbunny for naming Sirius' therapist for me.