"Brumous"
"Chapter Forty-Seven: Visit to the Hollow"
Sirius regretted his decision as soon as he laid eyes on the half-demolished house. He decided that he wasn't fucking ready. He didn't want to go into that damn house. Sirius wondered just how angry Remus would be if he just… hung back. Turning to the right, he squinted to try to find Remus. They had placed Disillusionment Charms on themselves before they had even Apparated to Godric's Hollow. He reached out a hand, touching something solid right beside him. His fingers gripped what he thought was an invisible arm. Something touched his hand, patting it twice before dropping.
A shuffle and the arm moved out of his grasp, indicating to Sirius that Remus had started towards the house. Sucking in a breath, Sirius found his legs moving to follow. Sirius wanted to vomit the moment he stepped into the foyer, his eyes involuntarily focusing on the floor of the entryway where he had found his best mate's lifeless body over fifteen years ago. He didn't dare blink, afraid that James' body would materialize right in front of him.
Remus appeared next to him, looking pale with his wrinkles showing prominently on his forehead. Sirius' chest heaved as he took off his own Disillusionment Charm so Remus could see him as well. Reaching a hand up, Sirius wiped the tears off his face.
"Do you remember when they moved into this house?" Remus croaked, his head bowing. "We helped them unpack for hours. James was so bloody annoying."
Sirius sniffed, his head nodding. "He just held that fucking cat while we unpacked and enlarged all those bloody boxes, directing where he wanted shit."
Remus let out a watery chuckle. "'I'm just trying to bond with my new cat.'"
Sirius looked up at the ceiling, a small smile quirking on his face. "Euphemia shouted at him. You remember? She had enough."
"Then, she picked up that ruddy cat," Remus added, and Sirius could hear the smile in his voice. "Said she was going to stop him from getting lost in all the boxes."
Sirius let out a soft chuckle. "Fleamont was so exasperated that day. I thought we broke him about four hours in."
"Well, we were all being bloody annoying that day," Remus replied.
Sirius turned his head to look at Remus. "He yelled at me a few times to stop smoking and unpack a ruddy box. I think that was the first time he ever raised his voice at me."
Remus blew out a huff of air. "I swear, you'd unpack one box and then take a smoke break. It was excessive."
"I was stressed," Sirius admitted, running his hand through his hair. "I was going to be moving in with Marlene the following weekend. I had lived with James for so long, that I didn't know how to live with anyone else. Especially not a girl."
Remus took a couple of steps forward, grabbing the small table nestled against the stairs. He pulled it out, his gaze focused downward. A beat passed and Remus started to laugh his arse off. He pointed, a smile gracing his face.
"It's still there," Remus said in a strained voice.
Sirius took a couple of steps forward, looking to where Remus was pointing to. It was a hole in the wall, just above the skirting board. Sirius' heart twisted when he noticed his own handwriting above the hole that read Sirius was here.
"You and James were fucking around, per usual," Remus whispered. "Did James push you or did you trip?"
The words clogged in Sirius' throat. He was fairly certain he had tripped back to avoid James, his heel ramming right through the plaster. Fleamont had lost it on them, yelling at them to stop messing around for five minutes. Euphemia had been disappointed, her head shaking at their antics. Marlene had rolled her eyes. Remus had sighed rather dramatically. Peter had squeaked, his wide eyes staring at Sirius. Lily had laughed hysterical with James. It had been Lily's idea to sign the hole, to keep the memory of the day they moved into their house.
"I tripped," Sirius said once he regained the ability to speak.
Remus shoved his hands into his coat. "We should show Harry that memory. He'd probably find it funny."
"Yeah," Sirius croaked, having no desire to show Harry the memory.
Remus stared at him. "Harry mentioned that you don't talk about the past unless it's a story about him as a baby. He seemed surprised when I mentioned that you and Lily were Potions partners in sixth year."
Sirius' jaw clenched, his eyes sliding shut. "I don't talk about our Hogwarts years very often with him."
"Why?" Remus pressed, sounding genuinely confused.
Sirius opened his eyes, his attention snapping to Remus. "What am I going to tell him, Remus? Relive all the stupid pranks we pulled? Tell him how James and I smuggled alcohol into the castle every time Gryffindor won a Quidditch match? Or maybe I should just tell him how James and I liked to share a spiff together. I'm sure he'd love to hear all about his father and godfather fucking drunk and high all the bloody time."
Remus frowned, his eyes squinting over at Sirius. "I was thinking you could tell him about your and Lily's late-night chats. Or about how you helped Lily see that James was more than an arrogant little berk who liked to play pranks. Maybe you could tell him about how the Potters took you to Austria for the Quidditch World Cup that one summer. Hell, you could tell him about your month-long vow of silence while you were becoming Animagi and you all declared you had lost your bloody voices. The most peaceful month of school I've ever experienced."
Sirius smiled tightly. "We said we had Vanishing Sickness of our vocal cords," he said in a fond tone. "Took us bloody forever to come up with it. Madam Pomfrey nearly called in a Healer from St. Mungo's to look at us because she couldn't fix it. I remember it was bloody hard to spit out the potions she gave us and not spit out the Mandrake leaf. James almost vomited because the one potion was so nasty and Pomfrey wouldn't stop taking his vitals. He held it in his mouth for so bloody long. Pete nearly swallowed the le–"
Sirius snapped his mouth shut. He didn't want to talk about Peter in any fond way. Clearing his throat, Sirius shoved his hands into the pockets of his leather jacket.
Remus took pity on him. "Those are the kind of stories you can tell Harry from when we were in school."
Sirius nodded, his eyes roaming along the entryway to see if there was anything he thought Harry would want for his room. "Yeah, let me give him more ideas than he already has to get into trouble."
"It's about Pete, isn't it?" Remus pressed. "A lot of our schoolyear tales involve him."
Sirius sniffed, his shoulders shrugging. Harry didn't need to hear any stories that involved Peter, to hear how Peter had been amazingly close with James once upon a time. It was easier to think of stories that didn't involve Peter once Harry was born. James and Lily had gone into hiding, Peter and Remus came around less and less, and Sirius had fond memories of that time period.
"Harry doesn't need to know anything about that fucking wanker," Sirius said in a dangerously low voice.
"I think it makes for a good lesson," Remus challenged. "Show him that you shouldn't trust people just because they act like your best mate."
Sirius' jaw tightened. "He already knows that. He keeps close to Ginny and Ron and that's it. He doesn't even talk to Hermione much anymore."
"Why is that?" Remus asked as he picked up a picture of James and Sirius to look at. "Harry, Ron, and Hermione were always so close."
Sirius shrugged. "From what I've gathered, which is what I've heard from Molly who heard it from Ginny, Hermione told Harry that he shouldn't trust Marlene after what Bellatrix did to her. He got irritated, told her to lay off. She didn't. He stopped talking to her. She started keeping her distance. I think she has a tendency to tell him what to do and what to think. You know how Harry hates that."
When Remus didn't say anything, Sirius wandered into the parlor and looked around, a hard lump forming in the pit of his stomach. They worked diligently, packing up anything and everything they thought Harry might like. They didn't chit chat, both working quickly as they packed away books, trinkets, and pictures. Sirius found Lily's cauldron in the kitchen cupboard where she always kept it, as well as a bunch of Potions books with Lily's notes in the margins. He also packed away the baking dishes Euphemia and Fleamont bought them for their wedding, the horrifically ugly bowl decorated with stags that Sirius bought Lily as a gag birthday gift, and Euphemia's personal cookbook with handwritten recipes that had been passed down from both the Potter and the Rosier lines.
When they went upstairs, they tackled Harry's nursery first. Sirius made a beeline to the stuffed animals Harry had mentioned on the rocking chair. He packed away the dog, stag, and wolf before he ripped the head off the rat and pitched it across the room. While Remus packed away handmade blankets, hats, and a stuffed animal that Euphemia had knitted, Sirius dug through the toy box, looking for the damn knockoff Padfoot and found it at the very bottom like he predicted. Sirius grabbed the Snitch mobile above the cot while Remus packed away a few toys. While looking through Harry's wardrobe, Sirius spotted the tiny leather jacket he had bought Harry. He plucked it off the rack, looking at the tag to see it was an eighteen to twenty-four month sized jacket. Sirius wondered if he had ever worn it. A lump formed in his throat as he folded it neatly to pack away as well. He'd make sure Harry had a new one that fit too for Christmas.
The hardest room, by far, had been James and Lily's bedroom. It felt wrong to disturb the room. But Sirius pushed aside those feelings as he raided Lily's jewelry box, finding Euphemia's engagement ring and wedding band as well as jewelry that James had bought for Lily for special occasions. Remus opened James' bedside table and let out a watery laugh. Sirius walked over, peering into the drawer to see an array of glasses. Remus picked up one from when James was a teenager, the frames square and thick.
"We can have the lenses changed," Remus said in a thick voice. "Could you imagine Harry having these as a backup frame?"
Sirius didn't want to think about it. There were some features that were uniquely Harry, that set him apart from James. It helped Sirius to focus on those differences when Harry acted painfully like his father. Truth be told, no matter how selfish it sounded, Sirius never wanted to see Harry in those glasses. He didn't want him to look more like James than he already did.
They packed away more photos, trinkets, and even a lamp. Remus found the silly friendship bracelets that the girls made for all of them in seventh year, ones that the girls wore for far longer than the boys did. Sirius opened the wardrobe, carefully folding Quidditch jerseys and even James' ridiculous brown Madcap striped jacket that he used to wear. On the floor of the wardrobe was a box. Sirius crouched down and opened it.
Sirius' heart stopped dead in his tracks when he saw the vials of Pensieve memories packed away neatly. His hand reached out to grab one, his arm trembling as he pulled it out. Turning the vial in his hand, he saw James' writing, 'for the first day of Hogwarts.' They had left memories for Harry for special occasions that they were afraid they wouldn't be alive for. It was the only thing Sirius could think of. His eyes scanned the box and there was a letter tucked away along the edge of the box. He picked it up and saw his name on it in Lily's loopy writing.
Sitting back on his bum, he pressed his back against the wardrobe door. He ran his thumb under the Sticking Charm and opened the letter, his entire body shaking.
Dearest Padfoot,
If you're reading this, then James and I have no doubt died. My only hope is that somehow Harry managed to survive and is living his best life with his doting godfather. I hate to even write this letter and I hope you never read it, but James and I can't stop thinking about what would happen if Voldemort finds us.
You must know that James and I would never want you to dwell on our deaths or what you could have done differently. You couldn't save us, Sirius. James and I accepted a long time ago that we would die young, trying to protect our precious baby boy. It was something James and I discussed at length as soon as we had time to process the magnitude of the prophecy. We've watched as you've run yourself into the ground, trying to find answers and solutions to a problem that nobody can solve. There is no simple fix. There is only Voldemort dying before Harry.
There are whispers that Voldemort is immortal. Fleamont believed he did something to make himself immortal, but he hadn't the foggiest idea as to what. Dumbledore seems clueless as well. I've heard him and James talking and discussing complicated magical theory that make my head spin. You know me, I was always more comfortable behind a cauldron than I was with magical theory. That was always your and James' forte, solving magical puzzles. It's like a big puzzle, I suppose. If anyone can figure out what he did to become immortal, it's you. You were always the best at puzzles.
As I write this, I am watching Harry zooming around on that broom you bought him for his birthday. Thanks for that, by the way. He throws fits for it. He knows where James hides it in the cupboard. He pounds his little fists on the cupboard door and James, being James, always caves. James is getting quite the workout in.
Though I have so much I want to say to you, I do have a point to this letter. After Fleamont and Euphemia died, James was a wreck. He missed his parents so much, hated how he never got to say goodbye. I thought about recording videos for Harry to watch for all the major events in his life just in case we died. James said it would be better to put them in a Pensieve as memories. So, all the vials are just James and I talking to Harry. Letting him know that we're still with him even if we can't physically be there. They're meant to be watched with you, as sometimes we talk to you as well. I must warn you, we started making them shortly after Harry's first Christmas. So, quite a few of them mention Marlene or address Marlene in them as well.
While we're on the topic of Marlene, you mustn't blame yourself for her death either. There were so many times I wanted to have this conversation with you in person, but you were never emotionally able to. I understand it. And I don't blame you. You need to know that Marlene loved you so very much. She knew you loved her back. I told her about the ring. She knew you were going to propose. James told me you showed him the ring and, well, I told her. You know that the four of us can't keep anything from each other. I know you were worried you weren't good enough for Marlene. That's complete tosh. You can't think that way. You are quite the catch.
You are by far one of my favorite people. I have been completely blessed to not only know you but to also consider you my big brother. I think we needed that from each other. You needed to be a big brother and I needed to be a little sister. We needed that sibling connection that our own blood siblings denied us. We are the perfect found siblings for each other, Sirius. Simply perfect. I cannot describe how much I truly adore you.
There is no one in this world that James and I trust more with Harry more than you. I need to thank you for being so involved in his life. It warms our hearts to see Harry run to you when you come over, to see you give him your undivided attention. There aren't many twenty-year-old wizards who would be so devoted to a small child that wasn't their own. But you always have been. I have no doubt you always will be. James and I have complete faith that you will be the parent that Harry needs and wants. We can't even say your name around him without him perking up and looking around to see you. He's amazingly astute for a fourteen-month-old.
Lastly, Sirius, please, don't forget to live. Settle down with a nice girl, give Harry the family he deserves, give him a sibling or two, and just be happy. Don't mourn for James and I too long. Because no matter what happens, James and I will always be with you and Harry. All you have to do is look into your heart and we'll be there.
Love always,
Lily and James
Tears poured down Sirius' face, his gaze settling on the Pensieve memories. There had to be at least twenty of them, if not more. Memories that Harry was supposed to have already watched with him if he hadn't fucked up and gone to Azkaban.
"Oi, Sirius, I found birth certificates and Harry's hospital record," Remus called. "There're even the hospital bracelets. Their marriage certificate. There's some stuff about the Potter estates that look important. Probably stuff James never took care of after his parents died. Looks like legal documents that you should probably have Magnus look over."
Sirius nodded, even though Remus wasn't looking at him. He could only stare at the letter. Dearest Padfoot. The two words stuck out like a sore thumb. He hated that nickname, because it only drove a sharp dagger through his heart. The betrayal. The memories. The person he had been. A sob escaped Sirius' lips.
"Sirius?" Remus asked in a concerned voice.
Footfalls sounded. A moment later, Remus crouched down in front of him. His eyes dropped to the letter in his hand and Sirius held it out for him to take. Sirius slammed his head against the door of the wardrobe, waiting for Remus to finish reading the letter. A strangled noise sounded in Remus' throat and Sirius stared at him, watching as Remus' face contorted.
"They left him memories," Remus whispered, the letter dropping to his lap. "They knew they would die. I didn't… I didn't know they did this."
Sirius ran a hand down his face, wiping away the tears. "Yeah, me either. I knew James had resigned that he'd die for Harry and Lily. I didn't know Lily worried about it. I didn't know they bottled up a bunch of memories."
Remus peered into the box and pulled out one of the vials. "This is for Harry's wedding day," he croaked as he grabbed another one. "For when he has his first kid." And another one. "Merlin, they even have one for the first time he fights with you."
Sirius let out a watery laugh. "Seriously?"
Remus turned the vial for Sirius to see the label: 'your first fight with Sirius, probably when you're a moody teenager.' Sirius was done. He could no longer go through the house. He needed to leave. He needed a fucking drink. Honestly, he thought he deserved a drink. Just one wouldn't be so bad. Remus would agree after reading that fucking letter and seeing the memories.
"Can we go?" Sirius whispered in a hoarse voice. "I want to go."
Remus nodded, putting the vials in the box and laying the letter on top. He shrunk the box before putting into a different box with everything else they had collected. Remus shrunk that box as well, placing it safely in his jacket pocket. He reached out a hand, his face drawn in a thin line. Sirius accepted the hand, allowing Remus to help him up off the floor.
Sirius cleared his throat. "I want to kill Peter."
Remus shot him an exasperated look. "Sirius, you just read what Lily said. You are the guardian Harry needs and wants. Knowing the kid myself, I know she's right."
"I'm not saying I want to hunt him down," Sirius replied, his hands shoving into his pockets. "I'm just saying when, when the time comes… when we come face to face with him again. I want to be the one that kills him."
"I'd rather we do it together," Remus whispered. "I'm as angry with him as you are. I hate him as much as you do. I loved James and Lily too."
Sirius nodded. "Yeah, yeah, but just don't kill him without me. And I can't promise I won't kill him if you're not around, so you may want to stick close to me."
Remus let out a strangled chuckle. "Sure, mate. We'll stick together."
Sirius sniffed before letting out a long breath. The two of them made their way downstairs, a comfortable silence between them. They Disillusioned themselves before they left the house, making their way towards the Apparition point. Sirius tried not to think about the letter. Instead, he thought about how he'd buy Harry his own Pensieve for Christmas, buy a nice box to store the memories in, and let him watch them at his leisure. If he wanted Sirius to join, he would. But he wasn't going to force the kid to include him. Sirius didn't even know if he could watch the memories, knowing James and Lily were talking as though they had already died.
Harry had zero motivation to finish out the week before the Christmas holidays. He and Ron skived off a bunch of their classes. They attended Transfiguration because, quite honestly, they were both too afraid of McGonagall to not attend. They also attended Potions because Harry didn't want to upset his godmother or hinder their relationship in any way. Besides, those were the two professors most likely to contact Sirius about his lack of attendance. Although, Harry wasn't sure what Sirius could say. Harry knew for a fact that Sirius skived off plenty of classes during his time at Hogwarts. And Harry already had the retort that he was just being a kid like Sirius has asked of him all year.
None of the other professors seemed to take notice, nor care, as a lot of the sixth years decided that classes weren't worth it the week leading up to the holiday. Harry attended his lesson with Remus, but he spent more time chatting than actually working on Defense. Ron, however, skived off his Defense lesson and he dodged Snape for the entire week, knowing he'd get detention if he was seen. But Harry and Ron were well-versed in avoiding professors. They had been doing it for six years to avoid detention or for messing around in the corridors.
Harry noted Malfoy and Nott never returned to Hogwarts. As the holiday drew closer and closer, the chances that they'd come back before the holiday decreased dramatically. While Harry didn't like either one of them, he could understand why they wouldn't want to come back to Hogwarts so soon after the funerals. Harry suspected they'd be back in January.
While Harry was excited to spend his first official holiday with Sirius in their new house, he couldn't help but feel his excitement dampen whenever he saw Ginny. He found himself pulling her into dark alcoves or broom cupboards more often than not for a quick snog. Every single night, he was excited to sneak into each other's beds. They would stay up for hours just talking, their hands intertwined and their bodies pressed together. When they weren't talking, they were snogging. Harry had never been happier.
Harry let the calmness wash over him with every single caress, kiss, or simple touch. Any hesitation that he had with Ginny in the beginning of their relationship was now long gone. There was something about Ginny that made him feel like he wasn't a colossal screw up, like he could do no wrong by her. He no longer wondered if he was holding her hand too much or worrying about if his kisses were too wet. In fact, the more physical touch and the more snog sessions that he initiated only made her smile more. Harry loved when she smiled. He stopped thinking so much around her, letting his instinct take over.
One evening, they laid vis-à-vis. Ginny stroked his nose with her finger, starting at the bridge of his glasses and going down to the tip. A smile curved on her lips as she did it, as though she were waiting for him to tell her to stop. But he would never tell her to stop. Her touch sent shivers down his spine, his body begging for more. He had craved affection his entire life, his heart twisting whenever his aunt and uncle snubbed him when he needed it the most. Now, he received affection in droves. And still, he couldn't get enough.
"I don't want you to leave Friday," Ginny huffed, scooting impossibly closer to him.
Harry swallowed. "Me either."
He wished he had Friday night still, and the train ride, but he understood why Sirius had decided to grab them early. It didn't mean Harry couldn't sulk about it though.
"Maybe Kreacher could sneak you to the Burrow," Ginny suggested, her eyebrows wiggling.
While tempting, Harry knew that Sirius would probably die of a heart attack if he found his bed empty one morning. If Sirius survived the shock, he'd kill Harry for being so reckless. He rather liked maintaining a good relationship with his godfather.
"We'll see each other on Christmas," Harry assured her, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. "I'll see if you can visit the new house before then."
Ginny groaned, pressing her nose into his shoulder. "I miss when we'd spend the entire holiday together. Mum said that we're going to my Aunt Muriel's for Christmas Eve. Harry, I may die if I have to go there."
Harry's lips twitched. "Just think about seeing me and I'm sure you'll find the will to survive."
Ginny snorted, her head tilting back to look at him. "You hope so!"
"You better!" Harry exclaimed, rolling on top of Ginny and tickling her.
She thrashed underneath him, her boisterous laughter ringing in his ears. Harry had to stop sooner than he anticipated due to the strain on his pajama bottoms, shifting off from her and laying on his back. Ginny didn't seem fazed, her body draping across his chest as the two settled into a snuggle and talked about the upcoming holiday before they drifted off to a peaceful sleep filled with very pleasant dreams.
The next morning, Harry received a package from Sirius. The note told him to deliver Hagrid's Christmas present to him. Harry picked up the box and saw the tag that read the gift was from both him and Sirius. Something deep within Harry stirred at the thought that Sirius had included him on his gift giving, like a true family.
After their last class of the day (Charms, which they had skived off to play chess), Harry and Ron trudged their way through the snow to see Hagrid. Ron knocked on the door while Harry held the gift, rolling his neck as he waited. The door opened and Hagrid beamed at them, welcoming them inside.
Harry froze in the doorway when he saw Marlene and Charlie Weasley sitting at Hagrid's table together. Marlene immediately rose from the table to greet Harry by forcing him to bend to her height so she could give him a hug and a kiss on the cheek.
"Hello, love," Marlene greeted.
"Hey, Marlene," Harry greeted back with a soft smile.
Marlene pressed her hands to his cheeks and stared at him. "I've been hearing you've been skiving off class lately. Professor Flitwick asked me if you were ill."
Harry squirmed, not knowing what to say. He had been more concerned with Sirius finding out about him not attending class that he didn't even realize that Marlene was far more likely to hear about it because she was, after all, a professor.
"Err…" Harry trailed off.
Marlene shot him a knowing smile.
"What the bloody hell are you doing here?" Ron nearly shouted, having recovered from the apparent shock of seeing his brother at Hagrid's hut.
Charlie chuckled. "I have a presentation to give in January to receive Ministry funding for a research project on the reserve," he explained, taking a sip of what appeared to be Hagrid's amazingly strong mead. "Don't tell Mum. I was going to surprise her on Christmas by just showing up."
"Where are you staying?" Ron demanded as he sat down next to his brother.
"Bill's for a couple of days and then I'll stay at the Burrow after Christmas," Charlie replied with a shrug. "Thought I'd attend some meetings while I'm here."
Ron raised an eyebrow. "You mean Order meetings?"
Charlie's eyes flickered to Marlene.
"I'm in the Order," Marlene said with a dismissive wave. "It's fine. What are you boys doing here?"
"Oh, err, Hagrid, this is from, well, this is from Sirius and I," Harry said awkwardly, holding out the gift to Hagrid. "Sirius asked me to give you your gift."
"Yeh didn' have ter give me anythin'," Hagrid said as he accepted the gift, a massive smile spreading across his lips. "Now tha' Sirius has tha' house in the country, I should give 'im his motorbike back."
"You have Sirius' motorbike?" Marlene interrupted.
Hagrid nodded, making his way over to the table and sitting the gift down in front of him. "Yeah, he gave it ter me the night... well, he gave it ter me ter get Harry ter safety when he was jus a baby."
Harry shifted, sliding into a chair next to Ron at the table. He hated thinking about the night his parents died, the night Sirius was forced to leave him, the night he was taken to the Dursleys and forgotten about.
"I wish I would have given yeh ter Sirius tha' night. I'm sorry, Harry. I had me orders," Hagrid said in a sincere voice. "Never believed Sirius could do such a thing. Wasn' even a thought in me mind tha' he was bad tha' night. He was shaking an' crying, all out o' sorts. Had a hard time believing it meself when I heard. I should have insisted tha' Sirius was in shock, yeh know? Prob'ly would have killed me if he did go bad. I jus wasn' thinking straight. Nobody was."
Harry forced a smile on his lips as Marlene took a seat between him and Hagrid. "I know, Hagrid. It's all right. I know Sirius doesn't blame you either."
Harry wasn't sure if the last part was true, but he assumed it was since Sirius sent along a gift to give to Hagrid specifically before he left school. Ron insisted that Hagrid open his gift, craning his neck to see what was in the box. When Hagrid opened it, he let out a loud laugh before reaching into the box and pulling out a collection of little dragon figurines that were animated. They reminded Harry of the dragons that had been pulled during the Triwizard Tournament. Harry still had his Hungarian Horntail, the charms still going strong as the dragon roamed around his trunk.
Hagrid thanked Harry before he pulled out a letter from the box. Running his thumb under the Sticking Charm, Hagrid unfolded the letter. From what Harry could see it was short. One of the dragons crawled up Hagrid's arm as he read. When Hagrid started to cry, curiosity rose in his chest at what his godfather wrote.
"Good man. Sirius is a good man," Hagrid said, wiping a hand down his face. "Not a finer man, Harry. I should have given yeh ter Sirius tha' night. Can' believe I didn'."
"Ruddy hell, Hagrid, what did Sirius say?" Ron asked, trying to see the letter. "Never knew he was such a bloody poet."
Hagrid sniffed, his gaze settling on Harry. "Said yeh told 'im tha' I've bin good ter yeh, Harry. Said he really appreciated tha' since he couldn' be there fer yeh. Said he knew James an' Lily would wan' ter thank me too if they were here. Sirius didn' have ter thank me fer anything. I was jus bein' me."
Marlene pressed a hand on Hagrid's arm. "You deserve the credit," she whispered. "You're a wonderful man, Hagrid."
Charlie leaned forward, his elbows propping up on the table. "This is Sirius Black, right?" he asked, looking over at Ron and Harry for confirmation.
Ron nodded. "Yeah, he's Harry's godfather and just adopted him over the summer. Great bloke. Really funny. Bit intense sometimes. Takes his crosswords a tad too seriously if you ask me. But, Merlin, he can be vicious if you get on his bad side. Luckily, he likes me a lot."
Harry was glad Ron answered because Harry didn't know if he could speak. His throat was painfully narrow, remembering all the conversations that he and Sirius had while in France. Harry had brought up Hagrid multiple times, but he didn't know Sirius was still thinking about it all these months later.
"I haven't met him yet, but I've heard about him," Charlie added, laying his palm out for one of the dragons to climb on it.
Harry settled back in his chair, his eyes wondering across the dragons roaming around the table. There was at least ten of them. Harry spotted the Hungarian Horntail pacing along the edge of the table, his little head watching all the other dragons.
"I hate ter rush yeh two, but there's a professors outing," Hagrid said in an apologetic tone. "End o' the term party. Yeh should join us, Charlie."
Charlie chuckled. "As much fun as it sounds to spend an entire evening with my old professors, I think I'll pass. I don't want to end up in detention somehow."
Marlene leaned forward on the table. "Come now, not all of us were your professors. Stick with the younger crowd."
Charlie smiled. "You may be the only one who didn't teach me."
"It's my first year teaching," Marlene added. "It's awkward for me too, hanging out with all my old professors. How does that even happen?"
Charlie shook his head. "I haven't the foggiest idea."
"Come on, Charlie, I wan' ter hear more abou' your presentation yeh gotta give," Hagrid insisted. "I can help yeh."
"You know, I was a Healer for a bit," Marlene added. "A terribly unqualified Healer who was a glorified Mediwitch, but I could help you a bit with your Healing terminology."
"Fuck it, sure, as long as there's alcohol, why not?" Charlie conceded.
Ron wrinkled his nose. "There's not enough money in the bloody world for me to party with any of the professors. Ugh, Snape will be there!"
Hagrid waved a hand. "Nah, he never comes."
"Oh, well, that makes it more enticing then," Charlie said with a laugh.
Ron pushed his chair back and stood up. He looked down at Harry expectingly. Harry followed suit.
"See you," Harry said with an awkward wave.
Marlene reached out, grabbing Harry's wrist. "Will you be in my class tomorrow or are you skiving off since you have two days left before the holiday starts?"
Harry smiled. "I'll be there. I'll even bring Ron."
"Can't guarantee I'll pay attention, but I'll be there," Ron added.
Marlene laughed, letting go of Harry's wrist. "Merlin, you two remind me of Sirius and James," she said in a fond tone.
"Well, from what I hear, which I think we're all tired of hearing it after six bloody years, Harry looks exactly like his dad," Ron said, the back of his hand hitting Harry in the bicep. "With his mum's eyes. Can't forget that."
Harry rolled his eyes.
Marlene smiled. "I was thinking more so your personalities and your friendship. I'd say Harry is more like Sirius and Ron is more like James."
"Oh, Harry, that's new," Ron said with a grin. "I've never been compared to your dad before."
"Guess there's a first time for everything," Harry replied. "Maybe over Christmas I'll get compared to Bill."
Ron snorted. "In your dreams. He's far cooler than you could ever hope to be."
Harry bopped his head from side to side. He didn't think he could pull off a fang earring quite like Bill could.
"Fair," Harry conceded.
"Oi, what about being compared to me?" Charlie spoke up. "Do you want to see all my burn scars? I'm a fucking catch."
"Ah, yeah, you can be compared to Charlie," Ron said with a grin, taking a step away from Charlie. "All scarred up, prefers animals to people, and a pain in the arse, really."
Harry chuckled.
Charlie rose from his chair. "You two are fucking little shits!"
Ron grabbed Harry by the arm and the two of them bolted from Hagrid's hut, laughing as they went. They didn't stop running until they reached the doors of Hogwarts, huffing and puffing. Harry pressed a hand to the stitch in his side, a wide grin still playing on his face. They caught their breath for a few before they entered the Great Hall and made their way to where Ginny, her friends, and Cepheus were already eating dinner.
Sirius shoved his hands into the pockets of his leather jacket, his shoulders hunching up in an attempt to fight off the cold that clung to him. His eyes scanned the familiar street, his eyes landing to a set of bushes where he had once scared Harry senseless when he had run away from the Dursleys at the tender age of thirteen. Sirius wished the Knight Bus hadn't showed up. He had contemplated talking to his godson, explaining who he was and trying to help him. But he had only slinked back, remembering the disappointment that had bloomed in his chest.
Marlene appeared next to him a few moments later, not seemingly bothered by the bitter December air. There was no doubt in Sirius' mind that she had placed a Warming Charm on her coat before she left Hogwarts. She looked up at him, her lips quirking.
"Do you know which one it is?" Marlene asked. "I haven't the foggiest idea."
Marlene had been serious when she insisted that they pay the Dursleys a visit. She had shown up at his house that evening, asking him if he was ready for a little excursion to Surrey. Sirius had agreed. After going to Godric's Hollow and seeing the destruction, at the life Harry lost, and knowing how his relatives treated him, Sirius was more than ready to finally pay them a visit.
"Yeah," Sirius replied in a gruff voice.
The year Sirius escaped Azkaban, he had roamed around Little Whinging for two days before Harry had run away. He had sat in the back garden and watched Harry through the window as he made breakfast. At the time, Sirius hadn't known it was for everyone else and he wasn't allowed any. He hadn't stuck around. The aroma had made his stomach churn and he went hunting for food before he had seen what happened afterwards. Sirius had also watched Harry through the front window one evening. His side had been pressed against the doorjamb as everyone else sat around the living room. Sirius, again, hadn't thought much of it at the time. Thinking Harry didn't want to sit or was about to head up to bed. It hadn't even been a thought in his mind that Harry wasn't allowed to sit on the furniture.
Sirius supposed maybe if he hadn't been nearly starved and so depressed from the Dementors at the time that he may have noticed. Honestly, he didn't even think much of it at the time when Harry ran away. He had seen the aunt floating into the air. Sirius thought it was funny. James had, after all, done a fair amount of accidental magic over the years. It was natural. Sirius himself had done it. Once he had turned his Uncle Cygnus' hair purple when he was five when he was angry in a middle of some dinner at Grimmauld Place. Sirius had been punished but it had been worth it. So, Sirius assumed Harry was running away from punishment.
But the more he learned about Harry and the more Harry let slip about his life with the Dursleys, well, Sirius felt like a fool for not breaking down the door and kidnapping his godson years ago. He could have explained everything. He could have had more time with Harry. Maybe he could have been free a lot sooner because Harry could have easily snagged Peter for him.
Sirius pushed down the rising guilt that rose in his chest as he walked along Magnolia Crescent with Marlene at his side. After all, the world didn't revolve around him and his guilt complex. Sirius glanced over at Marlene, his lips twitching. She didn't share his look, her head pointing straight ahead.
"I never met Vermin," Sirius admitted.
That got Marlene's attention as a small chuckle escaped her lips. "I forgot James used to call him that."
"Should we introduce ourselves as amateur magicians?" Sirius continued with a tight smile. "I could conjure some doves to pull from my pocket."
Marlene snorted. "Nah, they don't deserve the entertainment."
Sirius nodded as they turned down Privet Drive. "Do you think Petty will remember us?"
Marlene's eyes roamed across Sirius' face. "Probably not you, but she'll remember me."
Sirius' brows furrowed. "What is that supposed to mean? I'm not memorable?"
Marlene grinned. "Well, you look older for one. You have gray hair now and those little wrinkles at the corner of your eyes. And the beard. The beard really makes you look different."
Sirius laughed. "Old and bearded. Well, if that's all that was needed to look unrecognizable, I really botched it while I was on the run."
Marlene laughed along with him. Somehow, someway, Sirius felt like no time had passed between them. They were just Sirius and Marlene again, laughing at each other's dumb jokes. Sirius paused in his stride outside of Number Four. He gestured his chin towards the house.
"That's where the bitch lives," Sirius commented.
Marlene wrapped her fingers around Sirius' wrist, her thumb brushing against his skin. "If you get angry, take a deep breath and count to ten," she explained as she held out her free hand. "Also, give me your wand in case you become too unruly. I've seen you when you're irate."
Sirius shot her a look but forked over his wand. She was right. He had done some truly awful things when he was angry.
"They hit him," Sirius said in a dangerously low voice. "Though he never admitted it, I'm fairly certain they used a belt on him a few times. There're are a couple of thin scars on his back that I can't think of what else they could be from."
Marlene stilled, her brows furrowing.
"He thought it was normal," Sirius continued, his throat tightening. "He shrugged it off like that was what every parent did to their kids. I don't even think he understood that he was telling me something horrific."
"When did he tell you this?" Marlene whispered.
"When we were in France," Sirius replied, a deep frown appearing across his face. "I found out that the Defense professor during his fifth year had been using a Blood Quill on him. Don't worry, I'm in the throngs of a court case against her. Magnus is taking care of it. But he tried to tell me it was nothing and to let it go. He harped on it for days, hating that Ted, Andy, and I were discussing it at length. He let it slip that it was no worse than when his uncle used to hit him as a kid. Trust me, after that, I tried to pry as much information out of him as I could. Every night we just talked about different things. I'd let him in on my shitty childhood, he'd tell me things. He'd tell me about his years at Hogwarts while I was in Azkaban. It was just all… terrible."
"Do you think they hit him often?" Marlene whispered.
Sirius shrugged. "I don't know. His body isn't littered with scars, so I'm sure when they did hit him it wasn't to hurt him hurt him most times, you know? But I remember he hated being touched when I first met him. He was so uncomfortable and would tense up."
"Maybe I should give you your wand back," Marlene said in an odd voice.
Sirius' lips thinned. That would probably be a terrible idea. He didn't really want to be arrested for killing a Muggle right now.
They made their way up to the house. Sirius pressed his side into the house next to the door so he wouldn't be seen right away when the door opened. Marlene took the lead, ringing the bell and standing tall as she waited for someone to answer.
The door opened but Sirius couldn't see who had answered. He stared at Marlene's face, watching as a very fake and exaggerated smile crossed her face.
"Petunia," Marlene greeted. "It's been so long since we've seen each other. How have you been?"
"You are not welcome at my home," a female voice clipped. "You freaks were told to stay away from my family!"
Sirius turned his head, catching the door on its way to being slammed shut. He shot forward, pressing his palm on the door and shoving his body against it. He sneered at Petunia because he had never been able to fake being pleasant like Marlene had. Polite wasn't really his forte.
"It's rude to slam the door in someone's fucking face," he snapped.
Petunia stared at him with wide eyes. All the color drained from her face. She looked exactly like Sirius remembered her, bony with her ostrich neck and scowling features. It was hard to even comprehend how Petunia and Lily were sisters. They looked nothing alike, nor did they act anything alike.
"Why don't you invite us in?" Sirius said in a dangerously low voice.
When Petunia didn't move or offer them entrance, Sirius pushed his way into the house. His shoulder connected with Petunia's, knocking her back slightly. Marlene made her way in at the opportunity, shutting the door behind her. Sirius looked around the house. It was practically sterile, the smell of bleach and antiseptic stinging his nose. There were photos everywhere of a chubby boy who Sirius could only assume was Dudley.
"You have no right!" Petunia hissed. "The boy isn't even living here anymore!"
Sirius turned around to face Petunia. "Yeah, I know. I adopted him," he said in a lazy tone as he pulled a picture of Harry and him in Agde out of his pocket and held it out to her.
Petunia didn't take it, but she did glance down at it. Harry smiled broadly, looking healthy and happy in a way he hadn't when Sirius first met him. When Harry smiled, he radiated such warmth and joy that Sirius didn't understand how anyone could treat him so poorly. Harry was a kind soul. He kept that spirit no matter how badly he had been treated. It amazed Sirius.
"Do you even recognize him?" Sirius pressed. "I know he never had cause to smile around you. Being happy really changes how a person looks."
"I never asked for him to be dumped on my doorstep," Petunia snapped, tearing her eyes away from the photo.
"You didn't deserve him," Sirius hissed, stuffing the photo back into his pocket.
Petunia scoffed. "Where were the two of you? I know you were in prison. Murder. Typical. That Potter boy would consort with such low–"
Sirius didn't let her finish. He slammed her body up against the wall. She shrieked loud enough to make Sirius' ears ring. A hand touched his shoulder, the touch familiar and calming. The anger coursing through him began to recede. Sirius loosened his grip, his face drawing closer to hers.
"I don't tolerate any ill words about the Potters," Sirius hissed. "It makes me lose my fucking mind."
Petunia only trembled under him, her wide pale green eyes staring at Sirius. In that moment, that's when Sirius was reminded of Lily. They shared the same damn eye color, Petunia's just more muted and a less brilliant shade of green. It seemed wrong to see those eyes on someone so incredibly cruel.
"Petunia?" a male voice rang from the back of the house. "Petunia!"
A door at the end of the hall opened. A man barreled into the room, freezing when he saw Sirius pinning Petunia to the wall. The man's face instantly turned red, a meaty finger pointing at Sirius.
"You chose the wrong family to mess with," the man growled.
"They're you know what, Vernon!" Petunia shrieked.
A body pressed against him. "Let her go, Sirius," Marlene whispered in his ear.
He did, his body jerking back. His fists clenched at his side, his attention turning towards Vernon. Sirius took a step-in front of Marlene, shielding her from Vernon. Despite the fact that Vernon was twice Sirius' size, he had no doubt that he could still take him in a Muggle duel… maybe. If Vernon knew how to throw a good punch and got one in, Sirius might be knocked unconscious. But Sirius was fast and spry. He had a shot at least.
"Get out of my house!" Vernon snarled. "That boy isn't here anymore."
Marlene let out a huff. "Can you stop calling him that boy? His name is Harry!"
"I'll call him whatever I want to," Vernon growled. "Who the ruddy hell are you two?"
Sirius took a step further, his lip curling into a snarl. "My name is Sirius Black. I'm Harry's godfather. James and Lily were my best mates."
Vernon blanched. "You're that murderer! I thought the boy was lying!"
"Call him boy one more time and I will fucking end you," Sirius hissed.
"What do you want?" Petunia shrieked. "You have the… you have Harry. What more do you want from us?"
"We want you to know what you did to Harry," Marlene said, her hand pressing against Sirius' back to steady him. "How you treated him."
A creak sounded from above. Sirius turned to the stairs to see the boy in the pictures descending the stairs. Petunia shrieked, her hands covering her mouth. Dudley seemed curious, his eyes glued onto Sirius and Marlene.
"You hurt my son and I will snap your neck," Vernon snarled.
Sirius stared back at Dudley. "I'm not cruel enough to harm a child," he said in a low voice. "Only the scum of the earth would dare hurt a defenseless child."
Vernon grew red. Petunia trembled, her wide eyes staring at Dudley.
"You know Harry?" Dudley asked, taking a step closer to Sirius and acting like he wasn't afraid in the slightest. "How, err, how is he?"
Sirius narrowed his eyes at Dudley. Harry had never had a nice thing to say about his cousin.
"He's a lot happier now that he's not here," Sirius replied.
Dudley nodded, his hands slipping into his trouser pockets. "You're his godfather? He talked about you some. Well, more like he threatened Dad with you."
Sirius searched Dudley's face. "Yeah, I'm Harry's godfather. I was in prison for a long time. I now have custody of him."
Dudley shifted. "Err, could you, well, could you tell him something from me?"
Sirius only nodded.
"Tell him I'm sorry," Dudley said in a strained voice. "I'm really sorry for, well, everything. I was a right git to him for our entire childhood but he, he saved my life from that soul-sucker thing. He didn't have to do that. He could have let me die. Nobody could even blame him if he did. I was truly awful to him."
Sirius stared at the kid, totally taken aback. "Harry told me some stuff about you."
Dudley frowned. "I'm not proud of it. I can say I didn't know any better, but I really did. That, that thing really made me think, you know? I saw stuff that… well, I just saw stuff. I realized that I don't want to be the person I've been."
A tight smile crossed Sirius' face. "I'll let Harry know."
Dudley nodded, his gaze flickering between his parents. He looked as though he were waiting for them to say something, but they didn't. Vernon shook his head like he couldn't believe it, but kept his big fat trap shut. He must have known Sirius would go berserk if he said anything. Sirius pulled the picture of Harry out of his pocket and held it out to Dudley, who accepted it and studied it.
"He looks happy," Dudley mused. "He was never happy here."
"He wasn't," Sirius agreed.
Dudley handed the picture back to Sirius. He placed it back into his pocket before he turned to Petunia once more.
"You know, Lily hated how things deteriorated between the two of you," Sirius said in a hoarse voice. "She cried for hours about how you hated her, how you let your jealously tear you apart."
"I wasn't jealous of her," Petunia sneered.
"You were," Marlene protested. "You were jealous she was the witch and you weren't."
Petunia crossed her arms over her chest, standing straight as a board. "She was always running off with that little freak."
Sirius could only assume she was talking about Snape. Well, Sirius couldn't blame her for hating Snape. He was probably a slimy git as a little kid too.
"You know, if you died, Lily never would have treated Dudley the way you treated Harry," Marlene reasoned. "Lily and James would have raised him like their own."
Petunia scoffed but didn't say anything. Sirius had no doubt that was true. Lily would have adored her nephew, doted on him as much as her own child. Family meant everything to James so he would have accepted a nephew with open arms. Sirius knew they would, because they were better people than Sirius was. Even Sirius was able to take his nephew in despite his rocky relationship with Regulus. Sirius loved Cepheus, determined to keep him safe and happy. If Sirius could do it, then James and Lily wouldn't have had any issues.
"I think you two have overstayed your welcome," Vernon said, taking a step closer to Sirius.
"Why'd you do it?" Sirius asked, his question directed at Petunia. "He was your nephew. He was just a toddler. How could you treat him so poorly?"
Petunia huffed. "I didn't want him."
"He was a child!" Sirius protested.
Vernon took a few more steps closer. Sirius turned to face him, wandering if he was supposed to be intimated or something. He sure as hell wasn't. Sirius was a good head taller than him, so he had the height advantage at least.
"Do you want to back the fuck off?" Sirius seethed, pushing Marlene behind him once more.
"That boy deserved everything he got," Vernon said in a dangerously low voice. "He was a good-for-nothing freak just like his par–"
Sirius' fist rammed into Vernon's face hard enough that his knuckles ached from the force of the impact. He was fairly certain he may have broken his hand, but it would be fucking worth it. Vernon staggered back, blood pouring out of his nose at an alarming rate. He let out a howl as Petunia shrieked again.
Sirius wasn't done. He grabbed Vernon by the shirt, ramming his entire body into his until his back collided with the nearest wall.
"Sirius!" Marlene shouted. "Stop!"
Sirius drew his face close to Vernon's, his teeth bearing. "You hurt him. You hit him. You beat him with a belt. You locked him away without food or water. You allowed your sister to terrorize him. How about I beat you with a fucking belt and see how you feel afterward?"
Vernon's bloody soaked lips spread into a sneer. "I'd do it again but harder next time to hopefully beat the freakishness out of him. I was too soft on him. I should have beat him senseless instead of holding back. Clearly, a good spanking wasn't enough for him. He always acted better after I brought out the belt. I should have done it more than I did."
Sirius' chest heaved as he pulled back his fist and punched him in the face again. And again. And again. Ramming his fist into his face in a blind rage. People were screaming and yelling. But he could barely hear them over the whooshing of blood in his ears. Arms grabbed Sirius, pulling him away. Sirius fought with everything he had, a low primal scream escaping his lips, his elbow slamming backward.
Suddenly, Marlene was in front of him. Her hands pressed against his face as she forced him to look at her. He stopped fighting against whoever was holding him back, his breaths coming out in ragged huffs.
"Sirius, stop," Marlene said in a stern voice. "He's not worth a murder charge, all right? Harry needs you."
Sirius swallowed, his heart rate slowly coming down as he nodded at Marlene.
"Dudley, you can let go," Marlene said.
The grip around him loosened. Dudley stepped to the side and Sirius turned towards him.
"Did I hurt you?" Sirius asked.
Dudley shook his head. "I've taken worst elbows to the gut while wrestling."
Sirius swallowed. "I'm sorry. I don't… I don't hurt children."
"Dudley, call the police!" Petunia shrieked as she collapsed to her knees next to Vernon's bloodied mess of a face.
Marlene wheeled around, her hand reaching back to hold Sirius'. "No, he fucking won't," she said in a dangerously low voice. "You press assault charges against Sirius, then we will press child abuse, neglect, and endangerment charges against you. I will spend as much money as I have to drown you in a legal shitstorm and plaster your face all over every single Muggle paper there is."
Sirius stretched his fingers, wincing as the pain intensified. His chest heaved as Marlene squeezed his good hand.
"Dudley," Marlene said in a kind voice, her attention turning to him. "If you ever need any help, my name is Marlene McKinnon. Just find the Leaky Cauldron in London and ask for Tom. Tell him you'd like to send a letter. I'd be more than happy to help you. You were just a boy, drove to hurt Harry by your parents. Now that you're older, you're realizing that was an awful thing to do. You're a good boy, all right? You don't have to turn out like them."
Sirius clenched his jaw, not saying anything as he tried to keep his fingers still. Marlene turned around to face him.
"Let's go, Sirius, all right?" Marlene pressed, her palm pressing against his chest. "This was a mistake. We shouldn't have come."
"I don't know, I feel just a tad better," Sirius growled.
Marlene sighed as she pushed Sirius towards the front door. Sirius stopped her before they were completely at the door.
"You ever come near my godson again, if you ever even think about retaliating against him because of what went down tonight, I won't hesitate to kill you," Sirius said in a deadly serious voice. "If you ever see him in public, you better run in the opposite fucking direction before he can see you. I love that kid more than anyone else in this entire fucking world. Do you understand me?"
Petunia just stared at him. Vernon groaned in pain on the floor. Marlene gave his chest a push out the front door before she slammed it shut behind them. Her wide eyes stared up at Sirius, her head shaking.
"Merlin, Sirius," she breathed.
"It wasn't enough," Sirius snapped. "I should have killed him. Was he for fucking real? He should have hurt him more than he did? What the fuck is wrong with him?"
Marlene pushed him off the stoop before she linked her arm with his. He followed her dutifully, his entire body tingling with adrenaline and anger.
"I don't know what I expected," Marlene breathed, pulling Sirius' wand from her pocket and handing it back to him. "I thought there'd be some remorse. That they'd feel guilty for what they did. But they didn't. Only Dudley did."
Sirius shoved the wand in his pocket with his good hand. He looked down at his hand under the lampposts. His knuckles were covered in blood and they looked swollen. His entire hand hurt like a motherfucker.
"I think I broke my hand," Sirius commented.
Marlene paused in her stride, turning to face him. She grabbed his left hand in hers, a hiss of air escaping his lips. Marlene moved it so she could see it better under the light and she grabbed a finger to wiggle it. Sirius let out a grunt of pain, his face scrunching up.
"Yeah, I'd say you broke it," Marlene replied. "You should go to St. Mungo's."
"And tell them what?" Sirius snapped.
Marlene looked up at him. "Tell them you got angry and punched a bloody wall, I don't know."
Sirius shook his head. "I can't. My character has already come into question from the Ministry."
"You have custody of both Harry and Cepheus. It doesn't matter at this point," Marlene insisted.
Sirius still worried. Bones hated him. The Ministry disliked him. The public loathed him. If enough people complained he wasn't a fit parent, he worried that custody would be stripped from him.
"Can't you heal it?" Sirius asked.
Marlene sighed. "I can try. Come on, let's get you home and cooled off."
"I'm cool now," Sirius assured her. "Promise. My murderous rage has lessened."
Marlene let out a strangled chuckled. "Merlin, Sirius. What am I going to do with you?"
Sirius' heart twisted in his chest, his eyes boring into hers. Before he could stop himself, he reached up with his right hand. Sirius cupped her face. Marlene stilled under his touch. The pad of his thumb brushed along her cheek, his body hunching down as though his body had a mind of its own. They drew closer and closer until hands pressed on his chest, pushing him back.
"You're with Tegan," Marlene gasped.
Sirius mentally kicked himself, forgetting all about Tegan. What the fuck was wrong with him? They were supposed to be rebuilding their friendship and he was a wanker. Sirius stumbled back away from him, cradling his left hand to his chest.
Sirius swallowed. "Sorry. Old habits and whatnot."
"Sirius…" Marlene trailed off, her eyes searching his face.
Sirius pressed his tongue against his teeth. "I don't know how to do this. I don't know how to be just your friend."
Marlene blinked up at him. "I slept with someone," she blurted out. "The other day."
Sirius' face fell, his jaw tightening. "Who?"
Marlene scoffed. "Are you really asking me that question?"
"Yes," Sirius replied. "No? I... I don't know. I mean, you're allowed to."
Marlene's face flashed. "Yeah, you're a fucking git."
"I've never denied that," Sirius admitted.
"I think you should have Ted heal your hand instead of me," Marlene snapped, taking a step away from him. "Maybe being friends is the wrong thing for us."
Sirius offered her a closed-mouth grimace. "Right."
Marlene turned and stormed away without another word. Sirius stood under the lamppost, hating himself more than he already did. What the fuck was wrong with him? His head swirled with conflicting thoughts that revolved around Marlene and Tegan. He liked them both, for very different reasons. Sirius knew he had to pick. He knew he couldn't be with them both. But he might have just fucked himself completely with Marlene. With a long sigh, Sirius turned and walked into the opposite direction to find somewhere to secluded to Apparate.
I hope you enjoyed the newest chapter! Don't forget to drop a review. They motivate me to keep writing and inspire new ideas! For those who haven't seen, I wrote a little one-shot from Alphard's POV from when Sirius was a small child entitled Poisson if you're interested. It takes place in the Petrichor series.
Just an update, I'm taking two weeks off from posting for the holiday. So, Happy Thanksgiving to all the Americans out there! I'll see you in December!
Special thanks to prewettpotter for editing and being amazing per usual!