Brumous

by Seriously Sam

A mirror remembered. Such a subtle thing, yet also very potent. A butterfly flaps its wings and one small difference, one small action, causes an endless ripple of effects. Harry Potter and Sirius Black discover the true meaning of family as the world tilts on its axis.

50. Sad Boy Christmas

"Brumous"

"Chapter Fifty: Sad Boy Christmas"

Harry lounged back against Ginny's headboard. His arms propped behind his head, watching the way Ginny's nose scrunched up when she laughed at his Ron impression. Really, Ron brought it upon himself by seeing how many mince pies he could fit in his mouth without choking. Sometimes, Ron was positively a moron. Harry enjoyed it quite a bit since Ron never failed to make him laugh.

While Harry enjoyed spending time with Ron and now Cepheus, it was nice that he could sneak away with Ginny for a few moments. It was the only time they were able to spend alone, slipping away for small moments. Ginny was always surrounded by her friends and Harry was always with Ron. Cepheus now lingered between the two groups, becoming increasingly close with Ginny's friends.

It was why Harry couldn't deny her their alone time in bed every night. While Ron would flip a lid to find out that they were sharing a bed nightly while at school, Ginny's friends encouraged it. Sometimes, when they laid together just talking behind closed curtains, he could hear Demelza and Gemma hooting and hollering in support of their late-night bed sessions while Niamh apologized loudly for her rude friends' behavior. Harry had been mortified at first. But after a while, he became used to it and laughed with Ginny about it.

"Oh, guess what? McGonagall is making Demelza and I rewrite our Transfiguration essay over the holiday break," Ginny said in a disgusted tone. "I mean, who assigns that big of an essay right before the holidays in an O.W.L. year and then gets angry that it's not bloody acceptable? It's maddening. Who uses human Transfiguration on a regular basis anyway?"

Harry chuckled. "Well, Sirius for one. Ask him for help. He figured out how to do the Animagus transformation at fifteen. I've seen him cast some impressive Transfiguration work during dueling lessons when he participates."

Ginny lolled her head back. "I don't want to do it, Harry. I want to eat my weight in sweets and lounge around on the sofa because I can't move without vomiting. I don't want to discuss Transfiguration theory with Sirius. I've done that before fourth year at Grimmauld Place. He's very knowledgeable but he's bloody well boring when he talks about it. Can't you help me instead? I'm sure you'll find a way to motivate me. Perhaps with that mouth of yours."

Harry grinned, his bottom lip sliding between his lips, as he adjusted his legs. "You're going to hate me, but Ron and I turned that essay in late because of what happened to your dad last Christmas, and she gave us both Exceeds Expectations even though I'm pretty sure she should have given us Trolls. So, sadly, I can't help you. I can give you some motivation with my mouth though."

Ginny's eyes grew wide as she pitched a small pillow at him. "You're a bloody wanker! You and Ron get away with everything! I don't understand it!"

Harry laughed, his grin widening. "I think she let a lot of things slid with me last year because of everything. She even offered me a biscuit once."

Ginny rolled her eyes, collapsing back on her mattress. "You're definitely her favorite student, by far. Nobody can convince me otherwise."

"I've gotten the impression before that she really liked my dad," Harry admitted, pushing his glasses up his nose. "I think that's the only reason she likes me."

There wasn't any concrete evidence to back up his claim except for fond looks in his direction, comments about his Quidditch skills coming from his dad once in second year, and the way she stood up for him last year against Umbridge. When Sirius signed him out on Sundays for his dueling lessons, Sirius and McGonagall always seemed like they were on extremely familiar terms. There was a hint of affection for Sirius as well with McGonagall making small comments about Sirius and James as kids as though she were reminiscing about the good times.

Ginny observed Harry. "I don't know much about your dad, but he seems fun from what I've heard."

Harry nodded, a lump forming in his throat as his mind drifted to the Pensieve vials sitting on the dresser in his new bedroom in the Seifton home. "My mum and dad left me memories apparently," he said in a soft voice. "I guess they wanted me to feel like they were there for me during major life events that they thought they wouldn't be around for."

Ginny arched an eyebrow. "Oh?"

Harry snapped his attention down to Ginny's comforter and he picked at a piece of imaginary lint. "Yeah, Sirius found them at my parents' old house."

"Did you watch any yet?" Ginny asked, sitting up on the bed.

Harry's gaze flickered up to her face. "No," he whispered, his face grimacing. "I mean, I got them this morning. Sirius bought a chest to keep them in and everything. I just…"

"You just what?" Ginny prodded, like she often did.

Harry stared into Ginny's brown eyes. She was the only one who pushed him to talk when he didn't want to or even know what to say. Unfamiliar emotions swirled around in the pit of his stomach for reasons he didn't fully understand. Just thinking about the memories had anxiety blossoming in the pit of his stomach, wondering what exactly the memories contained. He had read some of the labels and didn't know what to make of it all.

"I'm nervous to watch them, I guess," Harry concluded, his face pulling. "That sounds stupid and mental."

"Why are you nervous?" Ginny asked, curiosity clear in her voice.

Harry shrugged. "I don't really know them, you know? My entire childhood I had these grand ideas about the people they were. Everyone fed into that image for years once I got to Hogwarts except for Snape and my aunt. Sirius tries to make them more, well, real by telling me the good and the bad, but it's just… what if I'm disappointed? I mean, I saw that memory of my dad bullying Snape and it was devastating. I hate that I have that image in my head – that I'll always have that image in my head. No matter how many times Sirius tells me they were dumb berks as kids, I still hate it. So, if I watch these memories, what if I don't like them as much as I thought I would? What if these memories confirmed every bad thought I ever had about my dad and, and make me think my mum is awful too? She was friends with Snape!"

Ginny reached out, her fingers wrapping around his ankle. "We saw that memory of your parents and godparents with Marlene, remember? They were so much fun."

Harry frowned. "Oh, yeah, seeing them all drunk off their arses and doing drugs really helped me see them in a positive light."

The memory hadn't been Harry's favorite, but he supposed he appreciated seeing them just being normal kids – or what Harry assumed normal kids acted like. He had never really drunk anything more than a couple of butterbeers that the twins had snuck in after a Quidditch win. Even Ron had downed some firewhisky last year at one of the Quidditch parties, but Harry never had. He had seen Sirius drinking enough the previous year for the both of them. He never wanted to be so out of control of his own actions.

Ginny sighed. "Harry, believe it or not, most teenagers are dumb fucking berks who do stupid shit. Back then and now. I can introduce you to more than fifty of them when we're back at Hogwarts if you like."

"Yeah," Harry replied, pushing his glasses up to rub his eye.

"You love Sirius, don't you?" Ginny pressed.

Harry righted his glasses, shooting Ginny a look. "Yeah, I do. Of course, I do. He's my godfather."

"What if, instead of your dad, you saw Sirius doing the same thing to Snape in that memory?" Ginny asked.

Harry sighed. It wasn't the same thing. Ginny didn't understand that, Sirius didn't understand that, nobody understood it. He knew Sirius as a thirty-seven-year-old wizard, knew the man he had become. The only concrete memory he had of his dad was him holding Voldemort off at twenty-one. That wasn't a particularly good memory.

"But I know Sirius now. I don't know my dad," Harry explained, his frustration spiking.

"Well, do you think Sirius would have been best mates with an awful person?" Ginny asked. "Do you think he'd still be upset about your dad's death over a decade later if your dad wasn't a great bloke? Sirius missed your dad so much on Halloween that he put himself in the hospital."

Harry's gaze dropped to the comforter again. His finger traced the Y in Holyhead Harpies. He wanted to tell Ginny that it wasn't just his parents' death date that made Sirius go off the deep end. But it was a big part of it. Harry had felt awful not even connecting the date to his parents. He knew they died on Halloween, but he never really thought about it. Halloween was always just another day to him. Harry's throat narrowed, hearing his dad yelling in the very back of his mind as he thought hard about that single memory.

"I hear him, you know?" Harry said in a voice barely above a whisper. "When Dementors are near me, I could hear him yell at my mum to take me and run when Voldemort attacked us. Sirius said he didn't even have his wand. He left it in the sofa cushions. I guess he was notorious for losing his wand in sofa cushions."

"So, he knew he was going to die," Ginny whispered, her face paling. "Harry, someone who willingly goes to die to try to buy his family time to get out isn't a bad person."

Harry nodded, another awful thought plaguing his mind. "What if I really like them and then I have to live with knowing what my life could have been but never will be?" he asked in a hoarse voice, his heart twisting in his chest. "What if I actually miss them? Because I don't miss them, Ginny. I always craved parents and wish they had never died, but I never missed Lily and James Potter as people, you know? You can't miss someone you can't remember ever meeting. It was always a longing to have parents, to have someone actually care about me."

"Harry…" Ginny trailed off.

"And I got what I always wanted, right?" Harry barreled on, his mind somersaulting. "Sirius is like the dad I never got to know. He's always there for me and protecting me and helping me."

"You can miss your parents but still be happy you have Sirius," Ginny reasoned, her brow furrowing. "I'm sorry, Harry, I don't really understand. I don't know what to say."

Harry swallowed, his gaze flickering across Ginny's face. "The letter made it seem like they weren't traditional memories but, but like memories of them talking to me even if I wasn't there at the time. Like they were going to give me advice and such."

Ginny arched an eyebrow, her lips twitching. "Well, I guess they can't really give any worse advice than Sirius when he gave you the sex talk."

Harry groaned, falling against the mattress. He buried his nose into Ginny's comforter, trying to block the traumatizing memory that flashed in his mind.

"What did he tell you again?" Ginny said, a giggle in her voice. "Don't get Ginny pregnant," she continued in a deep gruff voice, sounding surprisingly a lot like Sirius.

Harry rolled onto his back, gazing up at Ginny. "Don't forget his whole no baby is a mistake, they're just happy little surprises."

Ginny howled, her head throwing back. "Oh Merlin, I'm not going to lie. I want to prank him so bad and tell him I'm pregnant. Could you imagine the look on his face?"

"No," Harry said in a stern voice, his head shaking. "Just no. Merlin, Ginny, I could only imagine the sex lecture I'd get after that."

Ginny laid down next to Harry, her elbows propping her body up. She reached out a finger and tickled the tip of his nose. Harry scrunched his face up, his eyes closing.

"I don't think you have anything to worry about with the memories," Ginny concluded, her hand flopping on the mattress.

Harry quirked on eye open to look at her. "I told you it was stupid. I don't know why I'm overthinking it."

"Maybe because they are specifically talking to you as you are now? They're giving you advice that you could actually use. It's not just seeing them as kids or parents to a baby you," Ginny suggested. "They put these memories together for you so they could be there for you even after death. Besides, how many things do you actually have that they made for you?"

Harry's chest twisted. "Just a baby album."

"Look, Harry, I don't understand what it's like to not know my parents," Ginny said in a gentle tone, her fingers wrapping around his. "I can't even fathom what it would be like to grow up without them. But I do know they loved you. They had to have. Nobody willingly gives up their lives for someone unless they truly, deeply love them. They loved you so much that they left you a bunch of memories because they were in the midst of a war and they were worried they wouldn't be there to see you grow up. I think that's really special. And I don't understand the anxiety behind it. But I don't think you'll be disappointed in them. I think they'll be just as grand as little Harry always imagined they'd be. As for actually missing them, that's not a bad thing, Harry. Knowing what you could have had but never got the opportunity to have… well, don't you already have those thoughts with Sirius? Don't you ever wonder what it would have been like if Sirius was never arrested?"

All the bloody time.

Harry tried not to think about it, but his mind wandered to those thoughts more often than he liked. He never dared to utter any of those thoughts out loud, especially around Sirius. Harry never once blamed Sirius for not being there when he was a kid. How could he? Sirius had been arrested and thrown into Azkaban without a trial. Nobody stuck their neck out for him, nobody tried to help him, nobody believed in him. Sirius had been forgotten, abandoned, and left to suffer with the Dementors. Harry felt a kinship to that. He too had been forgotten, abandoned, and left to suffer at the Dursleys.

Harry nodded, a knot tying in the pit of his stomach. "Sometimes, sometimes I think it'd be harder to lose Sirius than it was to lose my parents, you know? I was so young when they died. I don't remember a life with them. I didn't even know their names or what they looked like until I was eleven. Even when Sirius shows me memories or tells stories, it's like watching someone else's life. It's so… odd. They're like these fairytale figures in my mind, especially my mum. And it's not that I don't love my parents. I do. I wouldn't be alive if it wasn't for them. But it's easy to put them out of my mind, especially now that Sirius is around. I think it hurts less not to think about the fact that I'll never really get to know them and all I'll ever have is other people's handpicked memories of them."

"Harry, I think this may be your only chance to get to know them," Ginny reasoned, her thumb brushing against his knuckles. "I think you should do it sooner rather than later."

Harry's lips pulled, his head nodding. "I don't know why I'm so nervous. A younger me would have been ecstatic, you know?"

Ginny searched Harry's face, as though trying to find some answer that even Harry didn't know. It seemed silly to worry about the kind of memories his parents' left him. Ginny was right, he had seen memories of his family before. It just seemed odd to think about them talking directly to him. That seemed way more intimate, especially since no one had seen the memories before.

The door to the bedroom burst open. Mrs Weasley stood in the doorway with a frazzled look on her face, her mouth opened as though she were going to start shouting at any moment. When she saw Harry and Ginny just lounging in bed, she merely froze as her brow furrowed.

"What are you two doing?" Mrs Weasley asked.

Ginny rolled her eyes, looking at though she were bracing herself for a fight. "We're just talking. Isn't that allowed?"

Mrs Weasley huffed. "Do not take that tone with me, Ginevra! I sent Sirius up here to check on you two and he stormed out of the house without saying a word!"

Harry jerked up into a seated position. "We didn't see Sirius."

Mrs Weasley looked confused. Harry jumped off Ginny's bed, rushing out of the bedroom and he then proceeded to take the stairs two at a time. His heart pounded in his chest, wondering what could have upset Sirius to cause him to storm out of the Burrow on Christmas. All Harry could think about was his godfather leaving to find a drink again. Had someone said something to him? Was there some update on the Voldemort front?

A little breath of relief escaped Harry's lips when he saw his godfather and Andromeda through the kitchen window. Harry left the house without a second thought, the bitter air assaulting his face. But he didn't care, Harry only strolled towards his family.

Andromeda saw him first and she shot him a polite smile. Her hand touched Sirius' arm and her head gestured towards Harry. Sirius turned around, his eyes locking with Harry's. His godfather looked fine, albeit a bit grumpy.

"Is everything all right?" Harry asked in a rush, stopping short of them with his arms crossing over his chest to try to keep warm.

"Darling, it's freezing out here," Andromeda replied in her normal kind voice, her hands rubbing along his upper arms. "We'll be in soon."

Harry didn't move, his gaze boring into his godfather. He wanted to hear everything was all right from Sirius.

"Everything is fine," Sirius said in a gruff voice, as though reading Harry's mind. "Go inside before you freeze to death."

Harry only frowned. "What's going on? Mrs Weasley said you stormed out of the house."

Sirius glanced up at the twinkling night sky. "I didn't storm out of the ruddy house."

"It was sort of dramatic," Andromeda said, her lips twitching as she wrapped an arm around Harry.

Sirius rubbed his fingers against his mouth, his eyes closing for a few brief moments before he turned his attention back to Harry. Fluffernoodle's little head poked up from the collar of Sirius' jumper, his big beady eyes staring at Harry. Harry thought about having a nice gossip session with Fluffernoodle to figure out what had happened.

"Is it something with Voldemort?" Harry pressed, refusing to break eye contact with his godfather.

"No," Sirius replied in a flat tone.

"Honestly, I think Sirius would prefer it be something with Voldemort for a change," Andromeda added in a light tone.

Harry's brows furrowed.

"Fuck off, Andy," Sirius snapped. "I don't know why I tell you anything."

Andromeda pressed her temple against Harry's arm. "Because we're family and you love me."

"Yeah, our family is filled with cockwombling wankers that I'd love to murder," Sirius retorted, deep frown lines appearing across his forehead. "So, really, let's not bring family into this."

"What's going on?" Harry asked again.

Sirius pressed his hands on his hips, sucking in a deep breath. "I'm just… making some realizations tonight."

"About what?" Harry pressed.

Sirius didn't say anything, his jaw feathering.

"Oh, Merlin, Sirius, just tell him so he doesn't worry," Andromeda said, pulling away from Harry so she could look at him. "It's his love life that he made overly complicated when it needn't be that way."

"Andy," Sirius growled.

Harry looked at Sirius, his mind running wild. Had something happened between Sirius and Mrs Robins? Harry liked Mrs Robins. She was by far his favorite dueling instructor. She was nice, knowledgeable, and took the time to actually explain stuff to him instead of screaming in his face like Robards. Would she not come around anymore if her and Sirius ended their spot of fun relationship? Panic rose in his chest.

"Can we talk?" Harry blurted out.

Sirius stared at him. "About what?"

Harry shifted his weight. "Can I say something without you getting angry with me?"

Sirius stilled, his body stiffening. Harry tried not to fidget.

"I won't get angry with you," Sirius confirmed.

"I just…" Harry trailed off, holding his breath for a few seconds to pluck up the courage to speak. "I don't like the way you're treating Mrs Robins or Marlene."

Sirius blinked twice, his mouth opening before shutting. His jaw tightened as he stared at intently Harry.

"I know you have your weird not-relationship with Mrs Robins," Harry barreled on because there was no going back. "But you're flirting openly with Marlene! You hugged her earlier when she gave you that Christmas gift!" he added in a miserable tone. "You can't date two girls!"

Sirius let out a huff of air.

"I, uh, I'm going to go inside," Andromeda interrupted. "I think you two boys should talk alone."

Andromeda ran a hand down Harry's arm before she disappeared towards the house. Harry shivered, the bitter temperature starting to bother him more and more.

"Harry, Marlene and I are…" Sirius trailed off, shrugging. "Friends? I don't know. It's complicated."

"I don't like what you're doing, Sirius," Harry admitted in a small voice, his heart hammering in his chest that Sirius was going to become irrationally angry with him at any moment like he often did with others who annoyed him. "I like Mrs Robins. I like her teaching me. I don't want her to stop teaching me because you're thinking about cheating on her with Marlene."

"I'm not cheating on anyone!" Sirius protested, his eyes flashing.

"I like Marlene too. She's my godmother. I'm finally getting to know her! She's funny and kind and strong," Harry barreled on. "I don't want to lose Mrs Robins or Marlene."

"You're not going to lose Tegan or Marlene," Sirius said in a sure voice, irritation clear as day in his voice.

"I will!" Harry protested. "Because I'll take your side! I'll always take your side! Even if I think you're in the wrong, I will always take your side! Because you're my family! I'd defend you if someone was talking poorly about you!"

"I'm not asking you to do that, Harry," Sirius insisted, his face falling as his tone softened.

"You don't have to," Harry retorted. "You're my family. We're family."

Harry meant it with every fiber of his being. While he felt immensely comfortable around the Tonkses and Marlene, at the end of the day, Sirius was the one Harry would always stick beside.

Sirius' chest heaved. "Nothing I do will ever affect their opinion of you, Harry," he explained, taking a step closer to Harry. "You and I aren't the same person. We're two totally different people personality-wise. No one is going to think poorly of you because they think poorly about me."

Harry's head jerked, though he wasn't sure if he truly believed what Sirius was saying. Sure, they may not hate him because of Sirius. But would Mrs Robins still come around to dueling lessons knowing Sirius was there? Would Marlene come to events at the Burrow knowing Sirius would be there? Harry couldn't help but think they'd fade into the background before disappearing from his life completely. Honestly, Harry didn't want to lose anyone else in his life. He knew that was wishful thinking during a war, but he couldn't help it. He had lost so many people close to him already. Harry hated the thought of losing anyone else. Harry hated the thought of losing anyone he could remember and miss.

Sirius placed his hands on Harry's shoulders, giving them a squeeze. "I'm going to break it off with Tegan," he said in a low voice. "Honestly, I don't think it will affect anything with your dueling lessons. Tegan made it very clear she didn't want to date-date. She's still hung up on her dead husband. It's why we never told you or Demelza. It was never going to become serious or, or anything worth telling anyone about. It was just… it was just a spot of fun, Harry."

Harry stared at his godfather. "I don't understand that."

"You don't understand what?" Sirius questioned in a patient tone, reserved for talking with Harry and nobody else.

"How you could just… sleep with someone without having feelings for them," Harry said, his face growing hot.

Sirius searched Harry's face. "Because some people view sex as just sex. It's a fun activity, a stress reliever. Then, other people view it as something more special that should be shared with someone that they love. Neither is wrong."

Harry sniffed and dropped his chin to stare at the ground, his nose running from the cold air. "I think it should be special."

Sirius squeezed Harry's shoulders again. "So did your dad. He was a grand romantic in a way that made me bloody well gag. He decided he loved your mum in fifth year all because she wanted to know what was behind the one-eyed witch," he explained, his tongue licking his bottom lip. "They were supposed to go on a date. She accepted the first time he asked her. Then, well, then the shit with my family happened. James was angry. He punched Regulus in the face… repeatedly. I think Regulus was the only Black that James could enact some sort of revenge against for what happened to me. I wasn't there when it happened, but apparently Remus pulled James off him. Lily saw it happened and canceled their date."

Harry looked up at his godfather, listening raptly. It wasn't often Sirius talked about when he ran away from home or about his dad as a teenager.

"This was before the lake incident with Snape?" Harry asked.

Sirius nodded. "I told you she didn't hate him. She thought he was a right berk who needed to grow the fuck up. He did. The war started to escalate and we stopped pulling our stupid pranks. Lily gave him another chance and, well, you know the rest."

Harry didn't know the rest, but he wasn't going to argue with Sirius.

"Look, I… I was never like your dad," Sirius continued, his face wincing. "I had some fun when I was your age. A long list of girls whose names I don't even remember in late night broom cupboard snog sessions. James didn't do that. He believed in soul mates and wanted something more. He didn't go around snogging girls for fun."

Harry didn't say anything. He didn't know what to say to that. Somehow, the conversation had gone off into an awkward direction.

"I think…" Sirius trailed off, his jaw clenching. "I think the way I deal with stress isn't, well, it's not the healthiest way possible. I look for highs, to feel good, to feel anything other than the pit of darkness looming over me. My coping mechanisms aren't the best. I mean, you saw that on Halloween. It's just, just escapism, Harry. As much as Tegan was an escape for me, I was just as much of an escape for her. So, I promise you, Tegan isn't going anywhere. She adores you and she likes your training sessions. She's proud of the progress you've made and she's happy she was the one to help you get there."

Harry nodded, the knot in his stomach untangling. He hoped that was true. He didn't know how he was supposed to be ready to fight Voldemort without Mrs Robins training him. While Sutton, Lowe, and Kingsley had been great as well, Mrs Robins just had a way of explaining things to him that made everything infinitely easier. Her teaching style reminded him of Remus.

"As for Marlene, no matter what happens between us, she's always going to be your godmother," Sirius insisted. "She's very adamant that we remain friends for you, because she loves you, Harry. She doesn't want to let you go. She made that very clear to me, and I am more than supportive of you two having the best relationship you can possibly have. Both of us consider you our number one priority."

Harry felt his heart swell at the words. More than anything, for the first time since Marlene stumbled into his life, he wished that she was together with Sirius. He wanted a normal family, and it was clear as day that they both still cared for one another. Harry wondered if all the hurt feelings could be mended between them and he couldn't see why not. But Harry was also aware that there was probably more that had happened between them than Harry currently knew about.

Sirius pressed his icy hands on either side of Harry's face. "Let's go inside, yeah? It's fucking freezing out here. I can't feel my toes."

Harry nodded. "I lost all feeling in my limbs a while ago."

Sirius laughed. "That's not good. Think we need to sever any frostbite limbs off?"

"Nah, I'm fine," Harry assured, his lips curving into a soft smile.

Sirius wrapped an arm around Harry, steering him towards the Burrow. "Oh, hey, uh, what were you and Ginny doing upstairs?"

Harry rolled his eyes. "We were just talking."

Sirius nodded. "All right, yeah, uh, but, in the future, keep all bedroom doors open."

Harry cringed. "I don't want another talk if that's where you're going with this."

"Trust me, I don't want to give you one either, but we do need to have a more practical one before you… you know," Sirius said with a wave of his hand.

"I don't want to… rush anything," Harry explained, wanting to disappear underneath the earth and never come back out rather than having any semblance of this conversation with his godfather.

"Waiting is good," Sirius confirmed. "She's only fifteen. You're only sixteen. I was seventeen before I… yeah."

"I didn't need to know that," Harry insisted as they entered the warm kitchen.

Sirius snorted. "Oh, so you can tell me how to go about a relationship but I can't make an off-handed comment?"

Harry rubbed his frozen hands together. "I just want you to be happy."

Sirius offered Harry a strained smile. "I am happy."

Harry shot a look at his godfather. "And I want us to be happy."

Sirius nodded, swallowing visibly. "Are you happy?"

Harry nodded. "I think so, yeah, despite all the stuff going on with the war. I'm happy with my home life. And I'm happy with Ginny."

"I'm glad," Sirius said in a rough voice before clearing his throat. "Listen, I promise that your relationships won't be affected by my piss poor actions, all right? Don't worry about it."

"No, I get that now," Harry replied, a frown etching onto his features. "So, if you're breaking it off with Mrs Robins does that mean you're going to date Marlene?"

Sirius shrugged. "I don't think so, Harry. I think that broom has flown. I wasted too much time being depressed and drunk to do anything when it mattered. Now that I feel more like myself, it's just… it's too late."

Harry shifted, casting a look down at his shoes. "Ginny liked me years ago. Sent me an embarrassing Valentine during my second year in front of a bunch of my classmates. I never gave her the time of day. She was just Ron's little sister, you know?" he explained, looking up to meet Sirius' gaze. "Somehow, she still liked me when I took an interest in her. It's like… I feel like she knows me better than anyone, which is outrageous because I'm not even sure you could categorize us as friends before we started dating. But it's all so easy with Ginny. I can't even remember her not being by my side. I honestly don't know how I managed to even function without her. I tell her everything and before her, I… I didn't tell anyone anything. I never wanted to burden anyone with my problems, but Ginny always makes me feel like it is okay to burden her with my problems. Even though half the time I don't know how to help her solve her problems like she does with me, I still at least listen."

Sirius smiled tightly. "I'm happy you two have each other, Harry. I think Ginny's a marvelous girl."

"You could have that with Marlene," Harry reasoned, trying not to get his hopes up that his godparents would one day be together. "You just have to tell her."

Sirius chuckled, clapping a hand on the side of Harry's neck. "Go talk to Ginny and Ron for a bit before we have to head home."

With that, Sirius walked past him towards the parlor. Harry turned around, following him. Sirius made his way over towards Andromeda, Ted, Remus, and Tonks. Andromeda pulled Sirius down to her height, pressing a kiss to his cheek. Harry's gaze roamed across the room until they landed on Ginny, Ron, and Cepheus. He walked towards them, trying to push the Sirius and Marlene dilemma out of his mind. Sinking down onto the sofa next to Ginny, he listened to Ron tell a joke involving a Healer, a Magizoologist, and a troll. Ginny rested a hand on Harry's knee, and he instantly relaxed into the cushions.

---

Ginny wrinkled her nose, not for the first time wishing that she had a sister. Her gaze wandered over to where Phlegm stood with Bill, Tonks, and Remus in deep conversation. The revelation that Bill was ring shopping was positively gag-worthy.

"YES!" Ron shouted. "That's how you do it, Cepheus!"

Ginny turned back to the boys sitting around the coffee table with her. Harry chewed a cube of cheese as he aimed another cube at Ron. He closed one eye, lining the cheese up before he lobbed it in the air. It hit Ron right in the eye. The wanker deserved it.

"Oi!" Ron exclaimed, pressing his fingers on his injured eye. "Merlin, Harry, stick to Seeking. Never even attempt Chasing."

Harry rolled his eyes. "You moved."

"Did not!" Ron protested, picking the cube of cheese off the floor and popping it in his mouth. "My mouth was bloody wide open! It was a large target!"

Ginny snorted. "That's not something to be proud of."

Ron pressed his hand against Ginny's face and pushed her backwards. Ginny swatted at him, not being able to hit anything except for his abnormally long arm. Her leg kicked out from under her thigh but even that couldn't reach Ron. The fucker.

"I will bite you!" Ginny warned, deciding to sink her nails into his wrist to get his bloody hand off her face.

"Ouch! Ginny!" Ron exclaimed, cradling his hand to his chest. "You're absolutely feral! Merlin, Harry, don't make her angry or else she'll cause you bodily harm too."

Harry looked between Ron and Ginny briefly before he caught Cepheus' eye. Ginny straightened up, brushing her long hair behind her shoulder.

"Well, I'm not going to shove her face, so I think I'm good," Harry commented.

Ron shot Harry an incredulous look. "She has a bloody temper! Just wait until the two of you are out of your little honeymoon phase and you make her angry. Having your bogeys fly out of your nose is ruddy painful!"

"Do I even want to know?" Cepheus asked, his brows lowering on his face.

"Probably not," Harry said as the same time Ron said, "Yes!"

Harry and Ron looked at one another. They made a series of little faces and Ginny rolled her eyes. She hated when they had one of their silent conversations that nobody else could even begin to fathom what they were saying. Despite her irritation, she tried to figure out what they were trying to communicate to one another but didn't even know where to start. Finally, Harry waved a hand and lounged back. Ron smiled triumphantly.

"Ginny has a nasty habit of making people's bogeys shoot out of their nose at unnatural speeds when she becomes angry or annoyed with someone," Ron exclaimed. "It fucking hurts."

"So… don't upset Ginny?" Cepheus asked, squishing a piece of cheese between his fingers.

Ginny huffed, her attention turning to Cepheus. "You have nothing to worry about. You, unlike my brother, aren't a git."

Ron picked up a piece of cheese and pitched it at her. "You, unlike me, need anger management."

"I will fucking punch you in the bloody kidney," Ginny growled.

Ron shot his hands up in the hair, his eyebrows raising to his hairline. "Do you see the absolute verbal abuse I put up with? She threatens me with bodily violence at least three times per week."

"Have you ever tried not to be a git?" Ginny asked, cocking her head to the side.

Ron slammed his hands on the table. "I bloody well cut my finger to distract Mum so you two could sneak upstairs and snog earlier! Do I get a thanks? Do I get anything except for blood on my ruddy trousers?"

"Do you want a trophy?" Ginny asked.

"You're a great mate, Ron," Harry said in a sincere voice. "The best mate I could ask for. Not many blokes would distract his parents so his best mate could snog his sister," he continued with a shit-eating grin spreading across his face.

Ron's face pulled. "Can you not say it like that?" he groaned. "I'll never help you again if you're going to say it like that."

Fred and George stumbled over to the coffee table. Fred squished between Ron and Cepheus while George settled between Ron and Ginny. Ginny could smell the whisky on their breath from across the bloody table. She sucked in a breath, preparing herself for more shenanigans.

"Oi, how do you four feel about a game night?" George asked. "Liven up the joint. Drown out Celestina Warbeck before we all go mad?"

Fred pulled a flask from under his jumper and Ginny couldn't help but wonder where the fuck he stored it. "We brought some fun juice since Mum banned all alcohol this year."

Ginny glanced over at Harry to see him frowning. Surely, the twins knew that the alcohol was banned because of Sirius' issues? Or were they just morons and didn't piece together the reasoning behind the alcohol ban?

Ginny snapped her attention to Fred. "Stop it!" she hissed. "Can you dump that?"

"Since when have you become a prude?" Fred asked, handing the flash to Cepheus who took it.

Cepheus hesitated a few moments before he took a large swig. He coughed, smoke escaping his lips as he handed the firewhisky to Fred. The back of his hand covered his mouth, his eyes watering slightly.

"Err, do you know why Mum banned all alcohol?" Ron asked, holding up a hand to refuse the drink.

George's brow furrowed. "Because she's mental?"

Fred snuck a swig of the flask. "Because she knows we were drinking at Aunt Muriel's last night to survive the evening and wants to enact revenge on us?" he added, holding the flask across the table to Harry.

Harry eyed the flask, a grimace crossing his face. Ginny reached out to push Fred's arm away from Harry.

"No, you morons," Ginny hissed. "It's because Sirius is sober."

"Huh, and here I was waiting for him to start singing carols at the top of his lungs again," George commented, his lips pursing together.

"Nah, have you seen him tonight?" Fred pressed. "He looks like he'll bite off your head if you even attempt to talk to him."

Ron leaned, his elbows propping up on the coffee table. "I'll tell you what. Dump the whisky and we'll participate in your game night."

After a bit of groaning, the twins agreed. They made their way to the loo to dump their alcohol. Harry turned to Ron, a soft smile on his lips.

"Thanks, mate," Harry whispered.

Ron waved him off. "I have your back, mate. Always."

The two of them stared at one another. Ginny thought it looked like they were about to confess their love to one another because of the look of complete adoration on their faces.

"Oh, I get it now," Cepheus said in amazement, his finger pointing between Ron and Harry. "This is why Demelza always calls you two boyfriends. I never got it but now I really do."

Ginny couldn't help but burst out laughing. Ron scowled, shooting Cepheus a look. Harry grinned, his gaze locking with Ginny's. He leaned in close, his palm pressing against the floor behind her bum. His breath tickled her neck as his eyes sparkled.

"I promise I'm not cheating on you with Ron," Harry whispered.

Ginny rested her forehead against Harry's. "Be honest with me, Harry," she said, trying to keep the smirk off her face and appear serious. "Is the only reason you're dating me because I look like Ron with tits?"

"Ginny!" Ron exclaimed. "Merlin fuck!"

Harry's mouth gaped, his eyebrows raising high above his glasses. His tongue ran along his top teeth.

"Yeah, it is," Harry replied, a breathy chuckle escaping his lips. "I'm sorry to break it to you."

Ginny laughed, her head throwing back. Ron grumbled. Cepheus let out a strangled laugh. Ginny tilted her chin down to see Harry beaming at her. She pressed her palms against his cheeks, her lips sliding between her teeth to keep herself from smiling.

"I'm glad there are no secrets between us," Ginny said, her lip popping from her teeth.

Harry's hand shifted closer to her bum, his thumb brushing against her. "What can I say? I fancy redheads, especially Weasley redheads."

Ginny leaned in close, not caring that their entire families could see them. She pressed her lips against Harry's, her hand snaking around his neck to deepen the kiss. All she could taste was the sweet treacle on his tongue, which wasn't surprising considering he had easily downed three rather large pieces of the tart after dinner. His hand pressed against her bum, slowly raising up to the small of her back and causing a shiver to run up Ginny's spine.

A loud thump sounded, causing Ginny to jump. Pulling back, she saw that Ron had hit his head against the coffee table, an annoyingly loud groan sounding in the back of his throat. Ginny rolled her eyes, her nose pressing into Harry's soft jumper.

---

Remus felt positively smug at the success of the little heating bubble he had placed around the outdoor furniture in the back garden of the Burrow. He took his spot next to Nymphadora, wrapping an arm around her on the back of the wicker sofa. Laughter rang from inside the Burrow, the kids playing charades with the twins. It was nice to get away from the loudness of the Christmas celebrations. Especially since Remus was certain that the twins had somehow managed to sneak alcohol into the strictly no alcohol Christmas celebrations due to the increase of their volume and the way the ruckus that had amped up. Honestly, it was nice just to have some adult time.

Sirius sat across from him in a wicker chair, leaning forward over the table between them. A bunch of little sticks laid in a neat little row as Sirius tapped his wand against the table. He chewed on his lip, a look of intense concentration on his face. After a few moments, he pressed the tip of his wand to the stick and muttered a spell. The stick transformed into a cigarette and Sirius grinned.

"I still have it," Sirius commented before he pressed the cigarette between his lips and lit it with the tip of his wand. He let out a puff of smoke, a loud moan escaping his lips.

"Would you like us to leave you alone with that?" Nymphadora asked, a smirk dancing on her features. "You sound like you're ready to climax."

Molly squeaked, her eyes growing wide where she sat next to Arthur on an adjacent sofa. Andromeda huffed, her head shaking. She sat on the arm of a chair, her body leaning into Ted.

"Nymphadora!" Andromeda hissed. "It's Christmas! Can you not be so vulgar?"

"I haven't smoked a cigarette since before Azkaban," Sirius explained, pressing the cigarette between his lips again. "I forgot how bloody fantastic it is."

"Merlin, Sirius, that's such a nasty habit," Andromeda commented.

Sirius shot her an amused look. "You say that like you didn't smoke like a fucking chimney in your youth."

"Mum!" Nymphadora gasped. "Did you really? I didn't know you smoked! When did you quit?"

Andromeda did not look amused. She waved off the question, clearly not interested in answering it.

"You don't want to start this game with me, Sirius," Andromeda said in a tight tone, shooting him a glare. "Did you forget that I knew you since you were in nappies? Changed some myself."

Sirius chuckled, his head shaking as he took another drag of his cigarette. "Not my fault your daughter is engaged to my best mate so now our generations are intermingled."

Remus shifted on the sofa, annoyance licking his skin as he decidedly refused to look at Sirius. He knew full well Sirius was giving him a shit-eating grin and he refused to engage.

"It's not that big of an age gap," Nymphadora said, her eyes rolling. "I mean, it's a common age gap."

"I highly doubt that," Sirius insisted. "Sixteen years is quite the gap."

A low growl emitted in the back of Remus' throat. "Thirteen."

"Same difference," Sirius argued with a smirk.

Nymphadora's lips twisted. "Well, we may not be the only couple for long with that age gap."

Remus' brows furrowed, his gaze resting on his fiancée.

"I saw Charlie flirting with Marlene," Nymphadora barreled on.

Oh, no. Remus jerked his head to peer at Sirius. His face remained stoic as he continued to smoke his cigarette.

"Charlie?" Arthur asked in surprise. "My son Charlie?"

Ted cleared his throat. "So, I have it on my calendar that the kids' next Quidditch match is at the end of January. Everyone is going, I trust."

Everyone seemed keen to ignore Ted and his valiant efforts. Remus opened his mouth to help steer the conversation away from impending doom but Nymphadora beat him to it.

"Charlie and Marlene seemed rather cozy," Nymphadora continued, clearing not knowing how to read the bloody room. "They're cute."

Sirius ground his teeth. "They have a bigger age gap than the two of you," he said in a bitter voice.

Nymphadora shook her head. "No, Charlie and I are the same age. We were in the same year at Hogwarts."

Remus watched Sirius closely.

"No, that can't be right!" Molly interjected. "You must be mistaken, dear."

Nymphadora furrowed her brow, her head jutting back. "I bloody well know who was in my year. Charlie and I had Herbology together. I remember because that little plant with the sharp little teeth bit him. Remus, what's the plant called with the little sharp teeth that likes to bite people?"

"Err…" Remus trailed off, trying to think of the damn plant to steer the conversation into one about plants.

"There's nothing wrong with the age-gap," Andromeda said loudly, casting a worried gaze at a very stoic Sirius. "It just depends on the couple. Some couples work well with an age gap and some don't. It's all comes down to maturity level."

Molly bristled. "Charlie is very mature!"

Sirius' head smacked against the back of the sofa, his eyes sliding shut. With his cigarette still pressed between his index and middle finger, he rubbed his forehead.

"I'm not saying Charlie isn't mature, but, well…" Andromeda trailed off, her hand gesturing to Sirius.

"Oh!" Molly exclaimed, catching on. "Oh! Yes, maturity level. I mean, what twenty-four-year-old has never had a serious girlfriend? Just, just flings!"

"Arthur, have you seen the new regulations that have been placed on illegally modified broomsticks?" Ted nearly shouted. "The Ministry is really trying to put a stop to the illegal broom racing."

"I did hear that was a problem for the Statue of Secrecy," Arthur replied in an equally loud voice. "They've been racing in Muggle neighbors lately!"

"That type of age gap in a relationship just never lasts for long!" Molly insisted, her head snapping towards Remus and Nymphadora. "Except for the two of you. You two are the exception, not the rule. You are lovely together and will have a long and joyous life filled with love."

"I saw a study in Witch Weekly that said the bigger the age gap, the more likely it is for a relationship to fail," Andromeda added, shooting Remus and Nymphadora a look of sympathy as she mouthed that's not true.

Sirius let out a long sigh, his gaze focusing on the stars above.

"I heard there was a broom race in Devon just two weeks ago," Ted said, his head turning to Andromeda and mouthing at her to stop.

Arthur nodded. "Yes, reckless! I heard Obliviators were called in."

Nymphadora leaned in close to Remus, her lips tickling his ear. "What the bloody hell is going on?"

Screams sounded from inside the Burrow and Remus could hear one of the twins shouting something about cheating. His hand rubbed Nymphadora's shoulders, his face leaning in.

"I don't think Sirius is over Marlene," Remus whispered.

Nymphadora jerked back, her face pulling. "What about Tegan?" she mouthed.

"Later," Remus mouthed back.

Remus cast a glance over at Sirius. There was no use trying to read his expression since Sirius showed no emotion. He took another drag of his cigarette as he rose from his seat. Flicking the cigarette into the snow, he stomped on it with the ball of his boot.

"Well, this has been fun," Sirius announced. "I'm going to go for a walk."

He turned and left, going away from the house. Andromeda slid off the arm of the chair, worry creasing into her forehead. Remus stood up as well, holding up a hand to stop Andromeda going after him.

"I'll go," Remus commented.

"What the bloody hell is going on?" Nymphadora asked.

Ted sighed, leaning back into the wicker sofa.

"Oh, Nymphadora, Remus, dear, your age gap is perfectly acceptable," Molly insisted.

Arthur craned his neck after Sirius. "What do you mean my son is flirting with Marlene?"

Remus bent down, pressing a quick kiss to her forehead. "I'll be back in a bit."

"Wait, just tell me, is Sirius dating Tegan or not?" Nymphadora asked, her brows furrowing.

"Not now, darling," Andromeda replied, sinking back down next to Ted.

Remus followed Sirius' footsteps away from the Burrow and down towards the chicken coop. Remus shoved his hands into the pockets of his Macintosh coat and cleared his throat to let Sirius know he wasn't alone. When Sirius didn't acknowledge his presence, Remus stepped up beside him. Their shoulders gently brushed against each other.

They stood in comfortable silence for a few minutes as Remus gathered his thoughts. Somehow, he didn't think trying to convince Sirius that Charlie and Marlene were probably just fucking around wasn't the best way to start the conversation. He looked over at Sirius and decided on a different approach.

"Do you remember all of James' bullshit speeches about true love and soul mates that made us both want to vomit?" Remus started, staring straight ahead. "Pete hung on his every bloody word. You and I just looked at each other, waiting for him to stop talking. It became exponentially worse when he started dating Lily."

Sirius didn't say anything. Remus sighed. Sirius, like always, showed no emotion or gave away anything he was thinking. Remus didn't know how he could be so bloody stoic all the time. Maybe that's why when he let the mask drop, he was ruthless.

"I always thought James was some hopeless romantic, some poor sappy sod," Remus continued, his throat growing tight. "But, I think, he just wanted what his parents had. An easy, effortless sort of love. He found that with Lily."

"Can we not talk about James and Lily right now?" Sirius interrupted in a gruff voice.

"Well, I was trying to get into the mindset to channel my inner James," Remus reasoned.

Sirius glanced down at him, a ghost of a smile crossing his face. "Please, don't."

"Love is like a bottomless ocean of desire, Sirius" Remus said, a grin spreading across his face. "When a lighthouse is calling you home, all you need to do is follow the light."

Sirius let out a bark-like laugh, his head shaking. "Merlin, kill me now. That sounds like something James would fucking say."

Remus tilted his chin up to look at the stars. "Look, the Charlie thing isn't that big of a deal."

Sirius' jaw tightened. "Can we not talk about that either?"

"You're upset," Remus reasoned.

"I'm more than happy right now," Sirius said in a clipped tone. "It's my first Christmas in fifteen years that I've been free. Harry is happy. Cepheus is slowly becoming happy. I have custody of both boys and I tried to give them the best Christmas morning that I bloody well could. All is good."

Remus nodded, his lips pulling back tight. "I'm just saying, if you want to talk, I'm here to talk."

Sirius scoffed. "Right. Yeah, I'll keep that in mind."

Remus debated on whether or not he should barrel forward. "As much as you're not over Marlene, Marlene isn't over you either for what it's worth."

Sirius sucked in a breath.

"But if you're waiting for her to make a move, she won't. She already did and you turned her down," Remus reasoned, his gaze flickering to Sirius' face. "Merlin knows the very idea of a serious relationship sends me into a self-deprecating downward spiral… but, at the end of the day, I'm glad I listened to your insistences that I deserved the love that Dora was offering me and I should allow myself to fully love her in return."

Sirius' gray eyes searched Remus' face. A frown tugged on every single facet of his face, looking ten years older than he was.

"I think that we both deny that we deserve love because of who we are or where we come from," Remus continued, his voice strained. "James spent a lot of time trying to tell us that none of that mattered."

Sirius nodded, his hand swiping under his nose. "I miss him. I miss James," he admitted, his voice cracking at their old friend's name. "He always knew what to say. He always gave the best advice. I know that ninety-five percent of the time he was just regurgitating life speeches that Fleamont gave. But when James told you something, you just fucking listened because he always sounded so bloody sincere."

"James was one of a kind," Remus whispered.

Sirius rubbed his fingers across his mouth, tears brimming his eyes. "I want my life back," he said, his voice cracking. "I want to be happy again. I want some semblance of a normal life back. I want to give Harry and Cepheus a good life."

"Sirius…" Remus trailed off, his stomach dropping at the admittance and the look of utter devastation that had consumed his friend's face.

"And I want James. I want him to tell me how I can get my life back because I just want my life back," he sobbed, his head bowing. "I want my life back, Remus. But I don't know how to get it back. How do I get it back? Just tell me how I get it back."

Remus pulled Sirius into his arms, holding him tight with a hand wrapped around the nape of his neck. Sirius' face pressed into Remus' collarbone. Remus held his breath, wishing he had the answers to help Sirius. Except he didn't know how Sirius could get his life back. Certainly, it wouldn't be the same life he had and Sirius had to be okay with that. All Remus knew was that Sirius deserved to be happy after the hell he went through. The hatred Remus felt towards Peter only intensified.

"I think James would tell you the way to get your life back is to have the family you want," Remus whispered, his heart twisting in his chest. "I think he'd tell you to mend things with Marlene. I think he'd want you, Marlene, Harry, and Cepheus to be a family."

Sirius nodded, his jaw tightening.

"I think he'd tell you not to give a fuck about the war," Remus added. "James never let the anxiety and fear of the war get in the way of his happiness. He still married Lily, he never learned how to cast a contraceptive spell to save his life," he continued as Sirius snorted. "And he protected his family. I think James and I would agree that you should live your life and protect your family. Fuck Bellatrix, fuck your biological family, fuck everyone else."

Sirius sniffed, a strained smile crossing his tear-stained face. "Thanks, Remus. I think I needed to hear that."

Remus' lips twitched. "How'd I do? From one to James."

Sirius let out a watery bark-like laugh. "I'd give you a level below James. You should have added in some flowery bullshit poem about true love and family or some shit if you wanted to achieve James level."

Remus snapped his fingers. "Ah, maybe next time," he said, his gaze looking up at the clear night sky. "So, how badly do you want to hurt Charlie Weasley?"

"I want to slice off his tiny little dragon cock right about now," Sirius growled.

"For what it's worth, he leaves in just under four weeks to go back to Romania," Remus explained, having heard it from Arthur himself earlier in the day. "So, if anything, it's just a fling and won't develop into anything serious. So, you have that long to break it off with Tegan."

"Merlin fuck. Has Andy given you meddling lessons or some shit?" Sirius snapped, though his tone was light. "Trying to impress your future mother-in-law?"

Remus chuckled. "Nah, just trying to help my best mate find some happiness."

Sirius looked down at Remus. With a sigh, Sirius clapped Remus on the back before he asked him how his Astronomy skills were. The two of them looked up at the stars, pointing out the constellations they saw and naming stars. Of course, Sirius easily surpassed Remus' knowledge as the two of them joked around and laughed.

---

Ginny fell against Harry's side, her body convulsing from laughter as George flung his body onto the floor and started rolling about. She had no idea where she was even supposed to begin to guess and Harry wasn't much help either. Their team was going to bloody well lose to Fred, Ron, and Cepheus. While that annoyed Ginny more than just a little, because you play to win the game, she couldn't get it together long enough to even utter a guess.

"A snake?" Harry guessed.

George let out a strangled sound in the back of his throat as his body jerked even more aggressively. Ginny began to wheeze into Harry's side, gulping in air to try to say anything because Harry was absolute rubbish at charades.

"Time!" Fred announced.

George rolled onto his stomach, a blazing look crossing his face as he stared menacingly at Harry and Ginny. "A FUCKING FLUBBERWORM! WHAT IS THE MATTER WITH THE TWO OF YOU?"

"George Fabian Weasley!" Ginny's mum shrieked. "You will be banned from playing if I hear your talk like that again!"

"You looked demented!" Ginny laughed.

"I was a Flubberworm! Of course, I looked ruddy demented!" George hissed as he rose from the floor.

An exuberant commotion sounded by the front door. Ginny turned to see her grandparents entering the house. Her grandfather greeted Ginny's parents in his normal jubilant fashion, laughing and chatting loudly. Excitement bubbled in Ginny's chest. She simply adored her grandparents. Turning to look at Harry, she saw him peering curiously at the newcomers.

"Those are my grandparents," Ginny supplied in a giddy tone. "They're my dad's parents, obviously."

Harry's squinted behind his glasses. "Your grandmother looks familiar."

Ginny shrugged, easing off the sofa and holding her hand out for Harry. "She's a Black. Sirius' second cousin once removed or something. Dad and Sirius talked about it at Grimmauld before. Sirius didn't know her. She was disowned for marrying into the blood traitor Weasley family."

Harry accepted her hand and rose from the sofa.

"Oi, are you two done playing?" Ron snapped.

"Gran and Granddad are here," Ginny explained, gesturing towards the front door.

Ron's nose wrinkled, his eyes shooting Harry a nervous glance. "Are you going to greet them?"

Ginny gave Harry's hand a squeeze. "I'm going to introduce them to Harry."

"Wait, right now? Already?" Harry asked, his voice slightly panicky.

"I told you they were coming," Ginny reminded him.

Harry shook his head. "No, I know. I remember."

Ron's face pulled. "Gran's really proper and stuffy. Granddad is fun. He taught me how to play chess. He's a good laugh. A lot like Dad. Tell a joke and you'll be fine. Oh, tell that one about the Hippogriff in the bar!"

"While you two are discussing our grandparents, we're going to claim the favorite spot!" George announced, pushing past Ginny and rushing towards the front door while Fred jumped over an end table after him.

"Fuckers," Ginny hissed, her head shaking.

"It'll be fine, mate," Ron insisted, clapping Harry on the back. "No different than meeting Mum and Dad."

"Right," Harry said in a flat voice.

"Don't be nervous," Ginny said, her free hand rising up to rub his arm. "You're kind and funny and charming."

"Are we talking about the same Harry?" Ron interjected.

Harry shot Ron a look. "I'd like to see you meet your girlfriend's family!"

"They're Weasleys," Ron emphasized. "We're the friendliest bunch of people you could ever meet. Relax. Just talk about me. They love me."

Ginny watched as the twins walked away from their grandparents. Ginny's grandmother looped her arm with her husband as they made their way further into the parlor. Turning towards Harry, she grinned up at him and gestured with her head towards her grandparents.

Harry sucked in a breath before nodding. "I'm ready," he announced, turning to look at Ron. "Wish me luck?"

"I wish you many laughs and not to make a bloody fool out of yourself," Ron replied with a grin.

"Prat," Harry hissed, though a smile quirked on his lips.

Ron laughed. "If I see you sinking, I'll come over and save the day."

Ginny gave Harry's hand a reassuring squeeze before she tugged him to follow her over to her grandparents. Her grandmother smiled at her and her grandfather beamed at them. Ginny's grandfather held open his arms. Ginny's fingers fell from around Harry's as she stepped into her grandfather's waiting arms.

"Hello, love, how have you been?" her grandfather asked, pulling away to give her a good once over. "Merlin, you grew!"

"Don't tease me, Grandad!" Ginny chastised in a playful tone as her grandmother held her arms open. "But I'm good. More than good."

Ginny turned towards her grandmother, a wide grin spreading across her face. "Gran!"

Ginny's grandmother gathered Ginny up in her arms, hugging her tightly. "Oh, darling, your hair is so shiny. You must teach me your routine."

Ginny pulled back, her heart swelling. Her grandmother grabbed a strand of Ginny's hair to inspect it. Honestly, there was a stark contrast between her grandmother and her Aunt Muriel.

"Shampoo and conditioner," Ginny supplied.

Her grandmother raised a brow at her. "No hair potions or hair masks or that Muggle oil treatment that's all over the Witch Weekly?"

Ginny grinned. "Nope!" she replied, popping the P.

"Hmm… genetics then," her grandmother mused. "A Prewett trait, no doubt. Your mother always had unnaturally shiny hair too. I have been simply envious for decades now."

Ginny laughed. "Enough hair talk, Gran. I want to introduce you to someone."

Ginny turned around to see Harry was, indeed, standing awkwardly behind her. There was a grimace on his face that Ginny suspected was supposed to be a smile but he couldn't get his face to cooperate. Reaching out a hand, her fingers wrapped around his wrist and tugged him forward.

"Gran, Granddad, this is my boyfriend, Harry Potter," Ginny introduced. "Harry, these are my grandparents, Cedrella and Septimus Weasley."

"It's, err, it's nice to meet you, Mrs and Mr Weasley," Harry said, holding out a hand. "Ginny has told me so much about you."

Ginny's grandfather took his hand, a wide grin spreading across his lips. "All good things I hope!"

"Definitely," Harry assured him.

"Well, it's nice to meet you, young man!" Ginny's grandfather exclaimed. "Arthur and Molly have had nothing but wonderful things to say about you."

The compliment did not seem to ease any of Harry's tension. Ginny gazed up at him, biting her bottom lip to keep from giggling at how nervous he was. Ginny wondered how bad his anxiety would have been to meet her parents if he hadn't already known them.

"You're friends with Ron, correct?" Ginny's grandmother asked, looking Harry up and down.

"Uh, yeah, we met on the train when we were eleven and have been best mates ever since," Harry elaborated.

"Oh, yes, we've heard plenty of stories about you two!" Ginny's grandfather exclaimed. "My favorite story is the time you two thought it was perfectly acceptable to fly to school in a car instead of waiting for Arthur and Molly."

Harry let out a soft chuckle. "Well, I mean, it seemed like a good idea at the time. In hindsight, it was pretty stupid."

"Your grandparents were Fleamont and Euphemia Potter, correct?" Ginny's grandmother asked, peering at him curiously.

"Uh… yeah, they were," Harry replied. "I never got to meet them, unfortunately."

"That's a shame," Ginny's grandmother said. "I knew Euphemia. We were both apart of the same card group. Lovely woman."

Harry nodded. "That's what I've been told."

"She always brought baked goods," Ginny's grandmother continued. "She was an excellent baker."

Ginny leaned into Harry's side, her temple pressing against his arm. She wrapped her fingers around his elbow, keeping him close.

"My godfather just found her cookbook and gave it to me," Harry explained. "I made a peppermint tart of hers. I was told it was a Potter Christmas staple."

"Oh, yes!" Ginny's grandmother exclaimed. "That was a divine tart. Apparently, it's an old Rosier recipe. She gatekept it. Wouldn't let anyone have the recipe, but she made it whenever someone asked."

"Harry's a good cook," Ginny said, giving his hand a squeeze. "Maybe if you're nice, he'll make you that peppermint tart."

Ginny's grandmother laughed. Harry relaxed just a tad.

"You mentioned your godfather," Ginny's grandmother said, her smile falling just a tad. "He's a Black, correct?"

Harry nodded. "Yeah, Sirius Black. He was my dad's best mate. He was really close to my grandparents."

Ginny's grandmother raised an eyebrow. "Yes, I heard about him going to live with Euphemia and Fleamont. Your grandmother was fiercely protective of Sirius."

"He's family," Harry concluded.

"So, Harry, what are your plans for after Hogwarts?" Ginny's grandfather asked, a warm smile spreading across his lips.

"I'd like an be an Auror," Harry said.

"Ah, like Ron!" Ginny's grandfather exclaimed, clapping his hands. "Wonderful! You two boys will have quite the experience together."

"Did I hear my name?" Ron's voice said loudly, stepping up on the other side of Harry and throwing an arm around his shoulders.

"Ronnie, love, you look positively dashing," Ginny's grandmother greeted.

Ron grinned. "I showered and everything just for you, Granny."

"I thought you did that for my benefit," Harry quipped, his head turning to look up at Ron.

Ron bopped his head from side to side. "Half for your benefit and half for Gran's benefit. You can't have all my affection, Harry. I need to spread the love."

"Oh, aren't you two delightful?" Ginny's grandmother cooed.

"I find them rather annoying at times," Ginny spoke up.

"Oh, trust me, Ginny, you want your boyfriend to get along with your family," her grandfather insisted. "It's horrid when that doesn't happen."

Ginny's grandmother's smile dropped, a deep frown etching onto her face. "Yes, certainly cherish that. Not everyone gets to have that."

Ginny nodded, her heart breaking for her grandmother. She did feel grateful that her entire family loved Harry and Harry loved them back. He fit in seamlessly, like he had always been a part of the Weasley family. Ginny supposed she could put up with Harry and Ron being annoying at times together if it meant everyone was happy and got along.

---

When Sirius moseyed into the Burrow for a glass of water, the last person he expected to see was a distant Black family member. Cedrella Black - or should Sirius say Cedrella Weasley stood talking to Harry and Ginny with Septimus. Harry had a painfully polite smile on his face. Sirius didn't know Cedrella beyond what their family had to say about her, but he should have assumed she'd make an appearance being Arthur's mother and all. Sucking in a breath, Sirius wondered if it'd be acceptable to just stand outside the rest of the evening until the boys were ready to head home.

Cedrella caught sight of him over Ginny's head, her gray eyes boring into his. She looked like Walburga, eerily so. Although, that wasn't a big of a surprise as all the Black family members looked like they could be siblings based off the copious amounts of inbreeding. Cedrella ran her hand down Ginny's arm before she made her way across the room. Sirius stood rooted in his spot, figuring he may as well get the pleasantries out of the way.

"Sirius Black," Cedrella greeted him with a smirk. "The runaway heir."

Sirius forced a tight smile on his face. "Cedrella Black, the disgrace who married a blood traitor."

Cedrella laughed. "Arthur has had nothing but wonderful things to say about you."

Sirius nodded, his hands shoving into his pockets. "Arthur's one of the few who has come out of the Black family completely unscathed."

Cedrella arched an eyebrow at him. "Your godson is perfectly charming," she commented. "A bit on the shy side but he's very adorable."

"Wish I could take credit for that but he's just inherited the Potter gene of being painfully polite and kind," Sirius replied, his gaze flickering to Harry over Cedrella's shoulder to see his godson looking at him. "Harry's a good lad. Ginny is a wonderful girl. I think they complement each other well."

Cedrella smiled politely. "That's what Arthur said as well. He and Molly have had nothing but wonderful things to say about Harry. I must admit, I was surprised when I heard about them dating and then a few months later read about you obtaining custody of him."

"I didn't kill anyone that day," Sirius clarified, a frown working its way on his face. "I never received a trial. Nobody cared about the truth in the Ministry at that time."

"You weren't the only one locked away in Azkaban without a trial," Cedrella added. "Septimus and I were horrified. Quite frankly, if anyone thought the lack of due process was a good idea, then I daresay they are part of the problem."

Sirius only nodded, having similar feelings. But the corruption ran deep and he had no money in his favor to do any talking at the time.

"Well, I suppose it's easy to condemn someone with the last name Black," Cedrella added.

"Most of them are completely vile," Sirius added. "You should know my nephew Cepheus is here as well. Raised in France by his mother and barred from meeting anyone with the last name Black. Innocent little thing. Has no idea about the horrors of the Black family. Then, my cousin Andromeda is here as well with her Muggleborn husband and daughter. Andromeda was Cygnus and Druella's kid."

"I saw her," Cedrella announced. "She looks like my Aunt Elladora. Brown hair in the Black family is rare. But she and Elladora had that in common."

Sirius didn't recognize the name. She must have been blasted off the family tree or died before he was born. Without the tapestry in front of him, he couldn't place the blood line enough to speculate. Andromeda would know. It was like the Black family tree had been burned into the back of her eyelids.

Sirius' gaze wandered over to Marlene crossing the room towards Harry and Ginny. She pulled Harry into an embrace and kissed him on the cheek. Her coat was already on. Sirius sucked in a breath, directing to attention back to Cedrella.

"Is there something you wanted to speak with me about?" Sirius snapped harsher than he intended.

"No, I just wanted to meet the heir who escaped," Cedrella replied in an amused tone. "I've seen you before but you've always run in the opposite direction."

"Talking to members of the Black family isn't something I like to do," Sirius reasoned. "Even if they're disowned. I have no interest bonding over our family trauma."

Cedrella laughed. Sirius found himself looking over at Marlene once more. She wiped her thumb across Harry's cheek, cleaning off a bit of lipstick she left behind after kissing him goodbye.

"I need to go," Sirius said abruptly. "Andromeda would love to bond over Black family trauma. She's over with Bill and Fleur."

Sirius brushed past Cedrella and then past the kids, following Marlene out of the house. He didn't know what possessed him to follow her. In fact, he had decided earlier in the evening that he wasn't even going to speak to her to avoid any further awkwardness between them. But Sirius had never been good at impulse control.

"Oi, Marlene!" Sirius shouted, stepping down the couple of stairs to the garden.

Marlene turned around. "Yeah?"

Sirius' chest heaved as he closed the space between them. "What the fuck do you think you're doing?"

Marlene blinked up at him, her head jerking back. "What do you mean by that?"

"Charlie Weasley is your godson's girlfriend's brother," Sirius elaborated as though that was obvious. "Little close to home for him, don't you think?"

Marlene's eyes flashed. "Oh, you want to talk about a little close to home? How about you dating your godson's dueling teacher?" she seethed. "You're a bloody hypocrite."

"I'm not the one making family holidays awkward," Sirius challenged.

Marlene's jaw tightened. "Oh, no, forgive me," she bit in a sarcastic tone. "I forgot that Sirius Black is a fucking saint who doesn't do anything wrong! Tell me, Sirius, how do you walk up straight with that ginormous head of yours? Do you ever get a mouthful of fucking clouds, you delusional git?"

Sirius let out a scoff, heart rate spiking.

"Every single time I see you, I think that you couldn't possibly hurt me more than you already have," Marlene spat at him. "But somehow you manage it so seamlessly. I couldn't figure out why that was. Then it hit me, you only care about yourself. You can't find it within you to care about anyone else except for yourself. I went through literal hell, Sirius, and you refused to even speak to me! You refused to look at me during Order meetings! You found every single fucking excuse in the book to avoid me!"

"You weren't the only one who went through hell, Marlene!" Sirius snapped. "Do you think Azkaban was a fucking walk in the park? Do you have any idea what it's like to be around Dementors every single fucking minute of every single fucking day for twelve fucking years? I spent days, if not weeks at a time as a fucking dog just so I didn't forget my own name! I couldn't even remember what Harry looked like after a while because they sucked out every single speck of happiness from me!"

"I forgot I even had a godson for fifteen years, Sirius, so excuse me if I'm not crying you a bloody river," Marlene snipped. "I'm not minimizing what you went through. I was just stupid enough to think you cared about what I went through as much I cared about what you went through."

Sirius wanted to rip his hair out of his fucking head. "I do care! I fucking care so much that I'm separating from you to protect you! My insane fucking family would love nothing more than to hurt you beyond repair because Bellatrix is a lunatic!"

"I never asked you to do that!" Marlene protested.

"You didn't have to!" Sirius hollered, throwing his hands up in the air.

"Well, I don't want you to so stop it!" Marlene shouted, tears brimming her eyes. "Stop trying to protect me! All you accomplish is hurting me!"

Sirius chest heaved. "I'm sorry," he said in a voice barely above a whisper, the words spilling from his lips. "I'm sorry, all right? I was so fucked up after Azkaban. I didn't know how to be me or how to be us or how to go back to what we were. And I was so scared, so fucking scared that, that I'd lose you again or that Bellatrix would hurt you again and I couldn't handle it. I couldn't deal with it. It was so much easier to push you away and pretend like you didn't exist and that was fucking stupid because I can't just pretend like you don't exist," he word-vomited, unable to stop himself. "And Harry… I swear to Merlin that kid is going to give me a heart attack one day. And I just put all of my attention and focus on him. Which isn't a bad thing because he needs that after being abused so horrifically but everyone kept telling me I can't be the man he needs me to be if I don't work out my own shit. I laughed in their faces and told them to fuck off. But it's true. I know it's true. Except all I can think about is you. And all I want to do is fix things with you and be with you and have us be a family and, and I can never forgive myself if I don't tell you this and let you know that I feel like a bloody wanking cockwombling fucker."

Marlene stared at him unblinkingly. "You are a bloody wanking cockwombling fucker," she whispered, her eyes finally blinking as a tear rolled down her cheek. "You can't tell me these things when you're dating someone else!"

"I'm not dating Tegan!" Sirius protested in an exasperated tone. "We're shag buddies. That's it. And, and I'm going to break it off with her."

"Sirius…"

"I want you, Marly," Sirius whispered, his voice cracking. "I miss you. I miss you so damn much. I'm sorry I was too drunk and depressed to do anything when it mattered. I couldn't handle it. I was… I was so fucking depressed that I hyper-focused on things just to get by. First it was hunting down Peter and then it was being there for Harry and, and, and being back at Grimmauld was like a nail in the coffin. I couldn't breathe. I couldn't sleep. I couldn't do anything except to drink so I didn't hear the voices in my head. You know what they did to me in that house! I had to sit in that fucking kitchen where they tortured me during Order meetings and pretend like I couldn't see their ghosts all around me. I had to sleep in the bed I was chained to for hours on end in my own filth. I couldn't function, Marlene. I forgot what it was like to be me, to be human. I didn't know how to cope or know what to do. It was so hard just to get out of fucking bed after a while."

Sirius gasped in a gulp of air, tears pouring down his face. Marlene took a step closer to him, her hands reaching up to cup his face. Her thumbs brushed the tears on his cheeks.

"You need help, Sirius," Marlene whispered.

"I'm getting help," Sirius croaked. "I'm on a potion for my depression and I go to see a Mind Healer weekly. Recently, very recently, I started to feel like my old self again. I started to feel like Sirius again and not some weird imitation of Sirius."

"You were right before," Marlene said in a gentle tone. "We aren't the same people we were at twenty-one. You're not feeling like Sirius again. You're just feeling like a human being again."

Sirius nodded, the lump in his throat too large for him to even speak.

"I'm sorry you've suffered so much, Sirius," Marlene continued in a hoarse voice. "Your entire life has been one giant uphill battle. You rarely accept people's help. But not everyone is vile like your family. You don't have to push away everyone who means something to you. One day, those people you push away aren't going to come back."

Sirius let out a shuddering breath, his eyes searching her fallen face. "Are you done coming back?"

Marlene's lips parted. "I don't know," she admitted, fresh tears spilling down her face. "You let me down, Sirius. I needed you so badly and you let me down. I had no one. My entire family gone. James and Lily gone. And you were gone. You were just gone, Sirius, but you weren't at the same time. It was so incredibly painful to see you but know you wanted nothing to do with me."

"I didn't know how to feel or what to do," Sirius whispered. "I'm sorry, Marly. I'm so fucking sorry. I never meant to hurt you. I thought you were better off without me."

"I know, Sirius, I know," Marlene said, a tight closed-mouth smile crossing her face. "I think we both need to decide what we want. Not just with each other, but in general. I think we both need to think when our emotions aren't running so high. And I won't even begin to have a discussion with you about any of this while you're still seeing someone else. Shag buddy or not, I won't do it."

Sirius nodded, his hands shoving into the pockets of his trousers. "All right."

"Good night, Sirius," Marlene said, taking a step back.

"Night," Sirius said in a strangled voice, wishing she wouldn't go.

But Sirius didn't stop her. He watched as she turned around and hurried down the gravel lane away from him. Sirius tilted his head back, his eyes scanning the stars in the sky. Taking in a deep breath and exhaling, he calmed his body down. He couldn't allow Harry or Cepheus to see him in such a state.

Sirius could have sworn he felt a hand on his shoulder. The trees rustled Padfoot in James' voice. Bowing his head, Sirius felt his muscles slowly relax. His heart ached for James. He knew all he needed to do was ask, to have Fluffernoodle do whatever snake magic he did before. Sirius wondered if he was emotionally ready to even attempt it again. But he wanted James now more than ever.

I'm back with the second installment of Christmas! I hope you all enjoyed it! Don't forget to drop a review. They motivate me to keep writing and inspire ideas.

Special thanks to prewettpotter for editing this week. She's back and fabulous! Special thanks to thelighthousestale for inspiring Sad Boy Christmas. The original draft of the chapter was SO angsty that I had to rewrite it so it wasn't so sad!