"Brumous"

"Chapter Fifty-Two: Letters"

29 December 1996

Marlene McKinnon, Potions Mistress

Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry

Greetings,

Your presence at the Black and Potter Estate is requested by Mr Harry Potter. James and Lily Potter left memories that were found in their Godric's Hollow home shortly before Christmas. Harry would like to watch them with the both of us.

Kindly provide three dates which would be convenient for you between now and the start of term for us to gather and support our godson.

Wishing you a pleasant holiday.

Sincerely,

Sirius Black

30 December 1996

Sirius Black, Freeloader Heir

Posh Black and Potter Secret Family Estate

Greetings, Mr Sirius Black, Heir to the Ancient and Most Noble House of Black,

I formally accept your invitation to your posh estate to gather and support our godson. Is it traditional dress robe only? Should I wear a hat? Is there any restrictions that I should know about ahead of time or certain etiquette you expect?

While you said to provide three dates, I can make any date work from now until the beginning of term. I know that's not what you requested, but I am easy going. Please forgive the lack of manners of someone not of an Ancient and Noble house.

Wishing you and yours a most pleasant end to the holiday season.

With sincere thanks,

Ms Marlene McKinnon, Heiress to the Filthy Bloodtraitor House of McKinnon

30 December 1996

Marlene McKinnon

Greetings,

While the train is due back to Hogwarts on Friday, the third of January, Harry and Cepheus will not be partaking in the traditional ride back to school. If it's amendable to your schedule, we could gather on Saturday, the fourth of January.

There is no dress or etiquette requirements. Dinner will be served.

Sincerely,

Sirius

Greetings Heir Sirius,

Saturday, the fourth of January, is very amendable to my schedule to gather and support our godson with the promise of dinner. Will it be a three-course meal made by the finest house-elves England has to offer? Should I bring a dessert or is that improper for such a fancy dinner? I'm sorry my decorum is so lacking.

I hope you have a splendid New Year's Eve with Heir Potter and Heir Black. Is there a formal party tonight at the estate?

Cordially,

Bloodtraitor Heiress Marlene

P.S. But really, is there anything I can bring? You're pants at cooking. I'm happy to bring an appetizer or dessert.

Dear Marlene,

Saturday would be wonderful. I will ensure that you know where to find us.

Dessert would be great.

Do you remember that little bakery in Manchester we always went to? They had those mini treacle tarts and we would always grab one for Harry when he was old enough to eat solids. I think his obsession with treacle tarts is our fault. We probably fed him too many sweets at too young of an age. Do you remember how James loved treacle tart too? I don't think I ever saw him eat an entire tart by himself though. Harry has him beat.

The boys stayed up until midnight. I fell asleep in my favorite armchair sometime after eleven. Harry woke me up around one to head upstairs. Guess he didn't want my thirty-seven-year-old arse's back to hurt the next day. He's a good kid.

- Sirius

P.S. I'm sorry for the formality before. I didn't know how you would take me writing to you, but I told Harry I would.

Dear Sirius,

I accept your apology for being git heir to the Black family in your first couple of letters. For future reference, just being Sirius in a letter is more than fine.

Don't worry, I know a certain motorbike loving individual who will be able to tell me who I need to talk to in order to find you. I hope you like the bike remodel. I saw it before he took it to you. Did you know our mutual friend's favorite color is pink? I told him adding his favorite color to the bike would be amazingly sentimental and you'd love it. The Hippogriff decal was not, unfortunately, my idea. He said you'd like it though. Funny, you don't strike me as someone who would love Hippogriffs.

I will stop by the bakery in Manchester and pick up dessert. I'll make sure Harry has his own tart. Not even a mini one. A full one. What does Cepheus like? I'll grab him something as well.

- Marlene

P.S. Can you tell me more about the memories, old man with the back pain?

Dear Marlene,

Remus and I stopped by the Hollow before Christmas to grab a few things for Harry. The stuffed animal set you bought him for his first Christmas was salvaged. Although, if I'm being completely honest with you, I ripped Wormtail's little fucking plush head clear off and pitched it across the room. I don't think it will be missed by anyone. Harry put the stuffed animals on top of his bookshelf in his new room. So, even sixteen years later, they're still a good gift. I told him you had them custom made.

Anyway, while we were there, I found a box of Pensieve memories in James and Lily's wardrobe with a letter from Lily. After Fleamont and Euphemia passed, James and Lily started to make memories for Harry to watch for every major life event that they worried they would miss out on. The letter states that Harry was meant to watch the memories with both of us. I gave Harry the option to watch the memories alone or with us. He said he would like all three of us to watch them together. Harry picked a memory that was labeled for his first day of Hogwarts. He thought it'd be a good one to start with.

Do you ever feel old? I know I'm only thirty-seven, but sometimes I feel like I'm eighty. Nobody tells you how quickly it all goes downhill. I think I'd rather have fleas than a ruddy sore back all the damn time. I can live with the gray hairs (which I have named different variations of Harry's name because he's the reason I'm so bloody stressed all the time), but the back pain is murder. You can't tell me you aren't starting to have random aches and pains. You're not that much younger than I am.

I wanted to tell you that I really appreciate the cup you bought me for Christmas. I felt dead awful for not getting you anything, so I framed a few pictures of Harry for you. One is him on that broom we bought him for his first birthday. Lily sent me that one. The other was one Molly had of Harry and Ron the summer before their second year. Look how bloody innocent they look. You never would have guessed they'd fight a bloody basilisk later in the year. Remind me to tell you that horrid story, by the way. The last is from the summer when we were in France. Those are my favorite pictures of Harry. He looks so happy and relaxed in France.

- Sirius

P.S. Cepheus wanted to bake a Tarte au Citron for Christmas Eve. That's a lemon tart. Maybe a lemony treat?

Dear Sirius,

Thank you for the pictures. I don't have any. I thought it'd be weird to ask him to snap his photograph at school. Do you think he'd be terribly embarrassed if put the one from France in my office? I don't want any of his classmates to tease him if they see it, but he's so bloody handsome. I want to show him off to everyone.

I do feel old. Minerva invited me out to tea on New Year's Eve and I was back home and in bed by ten. So, at least you stayed up later than I did. I am also proud to admit I'm smarter than you are though. I didn't fall asleep in a bloody chair. We are too old for that. Get your act together.

Funnily enough, I knew that was a lemon tart. Your French lessons did not go to waste. You should teach Harry some French. Let him impress Ginny a bit.

- Marlene

P.S. I'll pick up some Devonshire splits for you when I'm at the bakery. I remember you always bought half a dozen every time we stopped by there.

Dear Marlene,

Yeah, no. I'd keep the photo for your living quarters. Harry doesn't need any more attention than he already gets. The past couple of years have been awful for him socially at school. Everyone thought him a cheat during the Triwizard Tournament and then a liar last year for telling the truth about Voldemort. It's why he sticks mostly to the Weasleys.

Trust me, Harry doesn't need to learn French to swoon little Ginny Weasley. She's had a crush on him since she was ten years old. The twins told me she would place her elbow in butter dishes around him when they were younger and she was rendered speechless around him. Shocking, isn't it? I don't think I've ever seen that girl be shy before. She's very opinionated and feisty. You need to hear her and Ron together. They're a bloody riot.

Merlin, I haven't had a Devonshire split in fifteen years. Is it mental that I forgot about them? Ever since Azkaban, I find myself forgetting things. Mundane and stupid things mostly. I guess the deliciousness of a Devonshire split was information the Dementors found particularly fun to feast on. Who would have thought?

- Sirius

P.S. Tea with Professor McGonagall? Did you receive detention or something? Since when do you call her Minerva? Does she make all her old students call her by her first name? Remus calls her Minerva as well. Seems odd to me. I refuse. She still calls me Mr Black unless she's feeling sorry for me.

Dear Sirius,

If I were a Dementor, I think I would want to feast off the memory of a delectable Devonshire split. They can't eat food, so maybe they were living vicariously through you. If I am ever faced with a Dementor, I will do my best not to think of food. Thanks for the tidbit of information!

I'll have you know, Minerva is a bloody riot. I didn't say this, but she takes gin in her tea. Also, she gushes over Harry. A lot. I think James has been dethroned as her favorite student. She's infinitely impressed by our godson. Honestly, having heard so much about his adventures the past few years (basilisk and all so you don't actually need to tell me that story), I am ruddy impressed but also feel like I have developed high blood pressure as a result. I can understand why you have all that gray hair now. Somewhere, Fleamont and Euphemia are laughing their arses off because you and James weren't much better. I mean, you had less life and death situations, but you two had a penchant for trouble that probably resulted in some blood pressure issues and gray hairs.

Oh, I have heard some great stories about little Ginny Weasley. Trust me. The professors love to talk about her and her Bat-Bogey Hexes. I am told she put a Ravenclaw in the hospital at the end of last year because his nose wouldn't stop bleeding. He needed a Blood Replenishing Potion. Apparently, the spell was so vicious that it ripped the skin off inside his nostrils. Should we be concerned for our godson's nose?

You'll also be interested to know there was an ongoing bet to when Harry and Ginny would start to date amongst the Hogwarts faculty. One guess to who won. I'll give you a hint: she's a bloody riot. I will die on that hill, by the way. She is rather funny. You're missing out by refusing to call her Minerva. As soon as you get on that first name basis, she becomes infinitely more hilarious.

- Marlene

P.S. Which students were mean to my godson? I will give every single one of their fucking arses a troll grade. How dare they?

Marlene,

Two guesses on who were complete wankers to Harry. If you guessed anyone not in Gryffindor, you would be fucking correct. Although, some Gryffindors were cockwombles too. I say you pull a Snivellus and give everyone a troll. Speaking of that slimeball, you need to ask Remus about a certain Boggart lesson involving Snape and a dress. It's bloody brilliant. You know what, just ask to see the memory. You won't regret it.

As for your concern for Harry's nose, I wouldn't worry about it. While Ginny is definitely feisty and quite powerful, she's amazingly loyal and loving. She wouldn't hurt Harry so badly he needed a hospital. Besides, Harry can take care of himself. It helps he's not a bloody wanker, so she'll have no reason to want to harm him.

Also, your Dementor strategy is not bad, but I would also suggest starting the lengthy process of becoming an Animagus. They don't affect animals as much as humans. Also, if you have a wand, a Patronus would work just fine as well. Oh, ask Harry to see his Patronus next time you see him. It's bloody Prongs. Even has the rings around his eyes.

- Sirius

P.S. Is there really such a thing as a troll grade? Be honest with me. I tried and failed to secure a troll grade. I was highly disappointed I only ever received a dreadful.

P.P.S. How fucking drunk were you that you think Professor McGonagall is a bloody riot?

Dear Sirius,

How many letters are you going to send me in one day? Poor Hedwig. She seemed rather irritated with me when she popped in again this evening with another one of your letters. I am letting her rest for the evening before I send her back to you in the morning.

So, I was told that assigning a troll grade is frowned upon. Essentially, you have to turn in a blank test. If they tried to answer the questions, then the lowest grade I could give is a dreadful. You did too much work. You should have just sat there and let the time run out to get yourself a troll. Can't believe you didn't figure that out. They say you were one of the cleverest students in our year too. My bloody fucking arse. You couldn't even figure out how to get a troll. How pathetic.

Also, you are such a fucking git, you know that? I know how to protect myself against a bloody Dementor. My dad started to teach me the Patronus Charm when I was sixteen, remember? Isn't that when Fleamont started teaching you and James? I feel like he started to teach you not long after he heard my dad was teaching me. I have to admit, I'm a little surprised Harry's Patronus is Prongs. I sort of expected it to be Padfoot. I've seen the way he looks up to you and how incredibly close the two of you have become. But, I'll ask him to cast a Patronus for me once he's back at school. While I know you're probably not following the laws of underage magic, I feel like I have some responsibility to do so, given I'm a professor and all.

- Marlene

P.S. Tell me the truth, Fleamont brewed you lot the Animagus potion, didn't he? There was no way you and James didn't kill yourself brewing such a complicated potion. You two were too busy shooting spit parchment at the back of Slughorn's head.

Dear Marly,

Hedwig is an ornery bitch. I swear to fucking Merlin she likes Harry and only Harry. She once nipped at all my fingers until they were raw and bleeding. I bet she'll bite me when I tie this letter to her. She'll just know I talked badly about her. But Harry loves her so I put up with her. I was thinking of getting my own owl to avoid using Hedwig but she's damn loyal and amazingly clever for a bird.

Merlin fucking hell. Do you want to break into the Department of Mysteries with me to time travel back to when we were fifteen so I can tell my moronic self how to achieve a bloody troll? I can't believe I didn't leave a test fucking blank. Of all the things not to think of. I am quite honestly ashamed.

Harry cast his first Patronus to save my life from a throng of Dementors. He had just met me. So, obviously, when he was learning, it makes sense that James would be his greatest protector. Honestly, I'm glad it's Prongs. I think it's a nice connection for Harry to have to his dad, especially since he has a hard time in general connecting to his parents. He doesn't have any memories of them. Which, makes sense, but it also makes me sad. I wish he got to know them like we did.

- Sirius

P.S. Yeah, Fleamont brewed the potion for us. We probably would have died otherwise.

P.P.S. Is your Patronus the same as before?

Dear Sirius,

Merlin, don't talk about Hedwig that way! I was wondering why there was blood on your last letter. You were mean to her, weren't you? She hasn't been grumpy with me at all or tried to bite me. She's been very lovely. She just has a bit of a glaring evil stare about her at times.

Of all the times you would go back in time and change, it's getting a troll on your bloody Astronomy O.W.L.? I find it ruddy hilarious. You love the stars and stargazing so much, but you never wanted Walburga and Orion to know it. You should win an award for your performance. Truly. The way you can pretend to hate something you positively enjoy is mind-boggling to me.

I knew you two didn't brew that ruddy potion! James was always a bad liar. His tell was that shit-eating grin. He couldn't help himself.

Wait, when did Harry learn how to cast a Patronus? Why did you need your life saved? Could you not cast a strong enough Patronus? Were you all right? Are you all right now?

- Marly

P.S. Yes, my Patronus is still Padfoot. Guess that should have been a clue that you weren't an evil git like my fake memories led me to believe.

Dear Marly,

The Dementor incident was about a year after I escaped, the night Harry learned the truth about what had really happened. He was thirteen. Remus taught him the charm. Anyway, I didn't have my own wand on me. I had Ron's wand actually. He let me borrow it when we were trying to get Peter to the castle. But I didn't use it. It's a long story. Even if I had my own wand, I couldn't cast a Patronus. I can't anymore. Not since Halloween. I've tried a few times. I just can't do it.

- Sirius

P.S. Harry has a pet snake now.

Sirius,

Have you tried to cast a Patronus recently? I know that night and subsequent twelve years were awful for you, but you're free now. You have Harry. You just need to think about Harry. I truly believe that kid could heal all wounds. There's just something about him. I'm so much happier when I'm around him.

If you wanted, we can meet up to work on your Patronus. I can't imagine you not casting a Patronus. Padfoot was always so bright and so massive. Truly majestic. I think your Patronus was one of the prettiest ones I've ever seen. I would like to help in any way I can.

Tell me why Harry has a snake and how he obtained it. I never pegged Harry as having a snake for a pet.

- Marly

Marly,

Hedwig looks like she's going to bite me again. I don't think she's liking the multiple trips a day from our house to Hogwarts. Are you at Hogwarts? Or are you somewhere closer? Hedwig seems to be making good time.

Harry does make me happy. I am happy. I know I am. The boys make me laugh and give me a purpose in life. I'm happy I'm free, even if everyone in the bloody wizarding world gossips behind my back anytime I walk down a ruddy street. I haven't drank since Halloween and I feel so much better not wallowing in whisky all the damn time. My potion quiets a lot of the negative thoughts and feelings. I am happier. Really. I am. I just feel guilty a lot. Guilty for what happened to you. Guilty for convincing James to use Peter as Secret Keeper. Guilty for leaving Harry that night. Guilty for not breaking out of prison sooner. Guilty for not being able to adopt Harry when he was thirteen. Guilty for not being able to protect Harry from the Triwizard Tournament. Guilty for not helping him more last year when he was angry and struggling because I was suffering from my own demons. Sometimes, the guilt drowns me. I don't know what to do about that.

Honestly, if I never saw my Patronus again, I wouldn't care. It's almost fitting, really. The only time I even transform since I've been free is during the full moons to keep Remus company. Padfoot was my past. I don't need that anymore. I'm just Sirius now. Remus and I don't use those nicknames anymore either. I just want to put distance between that part of my life and my life now. It all seems tainted now after what Peter did.

As for Harry's snake, it's been hanging around the house. Harry saw it and decided he liked it. It's red and black. Go figure. The kid is drawn to red. It's a girl. He was on the mirror all morning with Ginny to name the damn thing. Ginny loves naming animals. She named my pet snake too.

- Sirius

Sirius,

Don't let Peter win. That's what you're doing. Letting him win by denying a large piece of yourself and your past. It was James' idea to become Animagus. It was the two of you who figured out how to do it. You carried Peter's arse through it. He doesn't get to take away Padfoot. I remember you chasing your tail to make Harry laugh. I remember you snapping at pigeons in the park while we were tailing Death Eaters. I remember you being so damn proud of what you and James accomplished at just fifteen. It would be like Harry never casting a Patronus again, a major accomplishment he made at thirteen, because of something someone else did.

Please, Sirius, don't let him win. He doesn't deserve it.

Love,

Marly

P.S. Why do you have a snake?

Marly,

I'll try not to. Maybe therapy will help with that.

Short story: The snake is all Harry's fault.

Long story: Harry's a Parselmouth. He got excited that I may be a Parselmouth because of my horrid true parentage (I'm not, by the way). He conjured a snake. Said snake wouldn't leave me the fuck alone because I smell nice apparently. He bit Malfoy. We shared a moment. I kind of like him now.

Have you never seen him poke his head out of my pocket? Sometimes he likes to curl around my shoulder and rest his head on my chest. I draw the line at him sleeping in my bed. I shrunk a little pillow for him and put it on my bedside table. I think we're in agreement that we don't sleep together.

Yours truly,

Sirius

P.S. My snake's name is Fluffernoodle. I just call him Fluff though. Ginny is dreadful at naming animals. Ask her what she named Ron's owl.

Sirius,

I think you gave me the short and medium story. I will ask Harry for the full story.

I am going to smell you tomorrow. Not in a creepy way. I just want to know what kind of smell a snake enjoys.

Fluffernoodle is a fantastic name. What is Ron's owl's name? I'm too curious to wait.

Love,

Marly

P.S. What time is tomorrow?

Marly,

Sorry, Hedwig refused to make the trip again. She bit me when I tried to shoo her out the window last night. I'll ask Harry to try tomorrow. She won't say no to Harry.

Anyway, how about six? Cepheus is going to join us for dinner and then he's going over to Andy and Ted's for the evening. Ted and him are going to listen to a Quidditch match taking place in France. Ted charmed it to translate to English. He was rather excited about it. I may or may not have helped him. I'm a good cousin.

Yours truly,

Sirius

P.S. Ron's owl is named Pigwidgeon. Ron and Harry call him Pig. I call him Pig. Pigwidgeon is bloody stupid. But I wouldn't dare say that to Ginny's face. I fear the skin of my nostrils would be ripped out along with my bogeys.

P.P.S. I bought Ron the owl. Did you know Peter was hiding out as Ron's pet rat Scabbers? I thought if I was going to expose his pet as a traitoring murderer, then I owed him a pet.

Sirius,

Six is fine. I'll be there with desserts galore. I'm glad Cepheus will be there for dinner. He's an absolute sweetheart. He and Harry seem to get along really well.

Look at you, buying people owls and collecting pet snakes. Sirius Black: Animal Lover. Who would have guessed? I thought you hated animals.

Love,

Marly

Marly,

Kindly shut the fuck up.

Here are some Sirius and animal fun facts:

1. Hagrid put the Hippogriff on my bike because I escaped from Hogwarts on his pet Hippogriff that was being sentenced to death for attacking Draco Malfoy. His name is Buckbeak but you may know him as Witherwings. I had to give him back when we had to flee Grimmauld Place after Voldemort attacked the Fidelius on it. But before then, good ole Buckbeak and I took a Portkey to Africa and made friends with some tropical birds until I flew him back to England once Harry started having strange dreams.

2. I conspired with a cat named Crookshanks to try to kill Peter for me. We were a crime fighting duo for a year. It was fun.

3. Ron's owl. Enough said. I already explained that.

4. I have a pet snake. Again, I bloody well explained that.

5. I allowed Harry to keep his bloody snake. It's a girl. Harry is very peculiar about not calling snakes 'it'. He will get upset.

6. I allowed Harry to keep Hedwig even if she is a complete menace and hates me.

7. Did I tell you I'm thinking of getting my own owl? I'm collecting animals now. Instead of drinking, I collect animals, I guess.

See you at six,

Sirius

Sirius sat in his chair in the parlor, watching the damn clock on the wall as it ticked closer and closer to six. He hadn't heard back from Marlene after his last letter, which wasn't surprising. But Sirius couldn't help the small sting of disappointment that blossomed in his chest at the end of their letter writing extravaganza over the past several days. What had started out as a favor to Harry to include his godmother with the memories had turned into him being unable to stop talking to Marlene. If Sirius was being completely honest with himself, he had been bloody well petrified to even send the first letter. He wrote at least thirty drafts before he ended up sending that one.

He told himself he wouldn't engage with her more than necessary until he had broken things off with Tegan. Sirius had vowed to himself that he would keep things strictly about Harry with her, giving her some space. He had bloody well tried. He tried to keep things formal between them in his letters, but Marlene couldn't stop poking fun at his formality. Maybe that was a stupid route to go. They had been friends for far too long. Then, the more they wrote back and forth, the more something stirred deep within him. He couldn't bloody well help himself, slipping back into old habits with her.

Like a total ponce, Sirius told himself it didn't actually matter that he was talking with her like he would have fifteen years ago. Tegan had made it very clear to him that she didn't want to see or even talk to him when Demelza was home. Sirius hadn't had a problem with that. He wanted to spend the entire holiday with the boys. They had such little time together.

Now, Marlene was coming over for dinner and to watch a memory with Harry. He'd be lying if he said he wasn't fucking scared he'd muck it all up again.

The doorbell rang. Harry jumped up from his spot on the sofa, dashing out of the room. Sirius sucked in a breath, watching as Cepheus trailed after Harry.

"Don't be a fucking cockwomble, Black," Sirius hissed at no one, his jaw tight. "Just be her friend. Friends is good. Don't kiss her. Don't yell at her. Can you manage that, you fucker?"

Marlene's laughter rang from the entryway. Letting out a long breath, Sirius rose from his chair before making his way towards the voices in the hall. Standing in the doorway, Sirius leaned against the doorjamb. He watched as Marlene hugged Harry, her lips lingering close to his ear as she spoke in a soft tone.

Marlene kissed Harry on the cheek, leaving a smudge of lipstick. Sirius shoved his hands into his trousers and couldn't help but smile when Marlene pulled Cepheus into an embrace as well. She wasn't just good with Harry. She was also good with Cepheus. That was very important to Sirius.

Marlene pulled out of the embrace, her eyes roaming the entryway until her gaze landed on him. Sirius pushed off the doorjamb, standing up straight.

"Hello, Sirius," Marlene greeted, an easy smile sliding across her face.

Sirius swallowed. "Marly," he said with a nod. "Like the house?"

Small talk. He could do small talk even if he fucking hated small talk. It was better than what he had done lately when he was around her.

"Every single time I see you, I think that you couldn't possibly hurt me more than you already have," Marlene had spat at him outside of the Burrow on Christmas. "But somehow you manage it so seamlessly." Those two sentences had rattled around in his head for days. He felt just plain awful about it. He never wanted to treat her poorly. But somehow, he managed to without even trying.

Marlene nodded, her eyes scanning around the entryway. "Looks like Andy's style," she said, offering Sirius an upside-down smile.

"She's my go-to person," Sirius replied with a shrug. "You know her. She's my mother, sister, cousin, and chief meddler all rolled into one."

Marlene laughed. "Somebody needs to keep you in line. I shouldn't have been surprised to learn she was your Secret Keeper. She would die rather than betray you."

"Yeah, well, keeping me in line is a thankless job but I suppose Andy's the only one who can put up with me long enough to take it," Sirius reasoned.

Marlene rolled her eyes, a smile dancing on her lips. So far so good. Sirius wasn't a complete waste of space, he supposed. She grabbed a large brown paper bag off the entryway table, holding it in front of her with both hands. The name of the bakery stamped on the front.

"Thank you for including me tonight," Marlene said, turning her attention to Harry and gazing lovingly up at him.

Harry smiled softly. "Sirius said I could watch them alone if I wanted to, but I really wanted to watch them with you like I was supposed to."

"Did you know about them?" Sirius asked, his eyes searching Marlene's face.

Marlene sucked in a breath. "Well, Lily talked about how nice it would be to leave Harry letters or something in case they died, but I never knew they actually did anything."

"Do you think there are letters too?" Harry asked.

"Oh, love, I wouldn't have the faintest idea," Marlene admitted.

Sirius cleared his throat. "Fleamont left letters."

Marlene stared at Sirius, her lips parting.

"Harry and I read them," Sirius continued, glancing down at his slippers. "There were four. One for Harry, James, Lily, and me."

Marlene's tongue peeked out, the tip pressing against the bow in her lips. Tears sprung to the corners of her eyes. As quickly as the wetness came, it left. Sirius stepped forward, like a fool, to hug her. Somehow, someway, he managed to stop himself. Clearing his throat, he turned towards the boys.

"You lot ready for dinner?" Sirius asked before turning his attention to Cepheus. "Ted's stopping by at seven to pick you up, so we have an hour to eat."

Sirius didn't know what possessed him to set the table in the dining room, but he had. Even though he and the boys always ate in the kitchen. Even more strange, he had set up a fucking obnoxious candelabra in the center of the table. Harry eyed the candelabra, shooting Sirius a curious look but he didn't say anything like the good kid he was. Cepheus took a seat and, much to Sirius' exasperation, Harry sat beside him. Marlene talked about something as she sat across from Harry, the damn smile still on her face. Sirius realized that he was to sit next to Marlene. He glanced over at his godson who wasn't looking anywhere near his direction.

That fucking kid planned it.

Jutting his jaw out to the side, he pulled the seat out and sank down into the chair next to Marlene. Sirius sat up straight in his chair as the food passed around the table. Of course, he had ordered Marlene's favorite food. Fish and chips with extra tartar sauce. He even ordered some baked beans and pork pies that he knew she loved.

Miraculously, there were zero issues at dinner. Marlene laughed with the boys, chatting about Quidditch and classes. Sirius found himself smiling throughout the dinner as well, stealing glances in Marlene's direction. It all seemed so normal. So right. So easy. Sirius craved more of it.

"Now, I stand by my assessment that Sirius can't fly a broom," Marlene said with a wide smile, scooping a nauseating amount of tartar sauce on her fish.

Sirius rolled his eyes, his lips quirking. "I can fly a fucking broom."

"Really? Because I can't recall a time I've ever even seen you on a broom!" Marlene protested.

"What do you mean you've never seen me on a broom?" Sirius snapped, his face pulling. "We had Flying Class together!"

Marlene grinned, her hazel eyes sparkling as she pointed a chip in his direction. "I used to think you were just afraid of heights but then you enchanted that motorbike to fly."

Sirius sucked in a breath. "Brooms are bloody uncomfortable. I can fly one fine, but I just choose not to."

"Oh, sure," Marlene said, shooting a wink in the boys' directions.

Both of them laughed, not even attempting to hide their shit-eating grins. Even Harry, his precious godson, had betrayed him.

After dinner, the boys offered to clean up and cut the tarts for dessert. Harry sat the Devonshire splits in the center of the table before he left with a stack of plates. Sirius watched as they both hurried out of the dining room, leaving Sirius alone with Marlene. It felt like some sort of grand plan that the boys had cooked up – or at least Harry cooked up and Cepheus was going along with.

Clearing his throat, Sirius turned to Marlene. "I'm sorry about Christmas. Truly."

Marlene offered him a tight smile. "You already said that to me."

Sirius' chest expanded. "I know, I just… I wanted to say it again. I need to work on, well, I need to work on a lot of things, but keeping my mouth shut is probably a good one too."

"Yeah, well, I haven't exactly been the kindest to you either," Marlene admitted, her bottom lip sliding between her teeth as she stared the wall across from them.

Sirius snorted, his head rolling against the back of his chair. "Merlin, Marlene, you've been kinder to me than I've deserved."

"I don't think that's entirely true," Marlene whispered, turning her attention to him.

Sirius turned his head to look at her. "I do care about what you went through. I need you to know that. I've spent a lot of sleepless nights thinking about it since you came back."

Marlene's eyes welled with tears. "I think I know that. Deep down. It's just… I've lost everyone in the blink of an eye. You and Harry are the only ones left. I miss him. I miss you both. I was frustrated with you. And, and I shouldn't have been. You're allowed to date whoever you want to. By the same token, I'm allowed see who I want as well."

Sirius sniffed, sitting up straight. He turned in his chair to face her full on, his knees pressing against the edge of her chair. His tongue pressed against his teeth, his eyes searching her face.

"I wasn't lying to you when I said Tegan and I were just shagging," Sirius whispered. "I would have broken it off with her already, but she didn't want to see or talk to me over the holiday. She doesn't want Demelza to know anything about her… flings. Honestly, while I respect Tegan and I like her as a person, I'm not in love with her. I didn't even care that she didn't want to communicate over the holiday. I was too damn excited to spend it with the boys in the new house."

"Sirius–"

"Let me finish, please?" Sirius interrupted her, his eyebrows raising. "I was lonely," he said in a hoarse voice. "And hated. Everyone fucking hated me. I was looked down on when the Order reconvened. I'm not even sure everyone in the Order thinks I'm innocent, so I just sit down and shut up. Tegan was the only one who even thought to help me. She lied and said she saw Peter the day Voldemort tried and failed to break the Fidelius on Grimmauld Place. She's respected and she has a strong sense of justice. Even when the papers were writing libel about me, about how I was going to hurt Harry and I was a terrible guardian who was going to force him to the dark side, she was one of the few people who was kind to me. Neither one of us wanted anything serious. We both needed to make our kids the priority and just wanted a spot of fun on the side."

Marlene bit her bottom lip, her gaze flickering to the door to the dining room. "I, uh, the thing with Charlie is nothing. We met one night through Hagrid and we got drunk and slept together. And it was nice having someone not know all the shit that happened to me and he was kind and it just… I know it's stupid because of how he's connected to Harry. I didn't think of it like that at the time. But… I was lonely too. And I wanted to, to feel like I wasn't stuck anymore."

Sirius' heart beat harsh in his chest. "I shouldn't have judged you. I think I would have been completely out of line no matter who it was because seeing you with someone else made me realize how much I fucking missed you. But instead of just breaking off my arrangement with Tegan and talking to you, I… well, you know me, I'm always looking for a bloody fight."

Before Marlene could reply, the boys entered the dining room with plates and forks as well as two large knives. The boys cut the tarts, offering pieces to everyone. Sirius held up his hand to deny a piece but he did help himself to a Devonshire split. His hearted twisted in his face as he stared at the cream in the middle. There was no one left in the entire world who knew him better than Marlene.

Ted arrived when they were still eating dessert. Sirius packed up some tart for Ted to take home. Marlene chatted with Ted, wide smiles on their faces.

Cepheus pulled Harry into an embrace. "Have fun with the memory," he whispered. "You're so lucky to have them. I wish my mum would have left even one memory for me."

Harry frowned. "I'm sorry, Cepheus."

Cepheus pulled back, a half-hearted smile crossing his face. "Don't be. I'm happy for you. Really. Will you tell me about it in the morning? I mean, if you want to."

Harry nodded. "Yeah, I'd like that."

Sirius felt his heart expand in his chest watching the boys interact. They were both so kind, clinging desperately to their makeshift family.

Cepheus turned towards Sirius. "See you in the morning, Uncle Sirius."

Sirius smiled at his nephew. "Do you have your wand and mirror on you?"

Cepheus nodded. "Yeah, I do."

Sirius pressed his hands on Cepheus' biceps. "Don't leave the house, all right? Stay indoors and nobody will be able to get to you."

"I know, Uncle Sirius," Cepheus said in a low voice.

A lump formed in Sirius' throat. This was the point that he would give Harry a hug and tell him he loved him. Except, for some reason, it just felt awkward with Cepheus in a way that Sirius hated. While their relationship had gotten easier over the holiday, Sirius still found himself stumbling.

"Bye," Cepheus said as he took a step back.

Sirius' arms fell uselessly to his side. "Be good, yeah?"

Cepheus smiled tightly as Ted wrapped an arm around the teenager. Sirius shoved his hands into his pockets, watching as the two of the crossed the dining room. Whipping around, Sirius saw them already at the doorway.

"Oi!" Sirius shouted.

The two stopped and turned around.

"I love you," Sirius said, his eyes searching Cepheus' face.

A genuine smile broke out across Cepheus' face. "Love you too, Uncle Sirius."

With that, Ted and Cepheus left the dining room. Sirius felt a tad bit better about letting his nephew leave for the evening. It felt like a step in the right direction. Sirius knew he had to take the leaps when it came to their relationship. He was the adult after all. He really did love his nephew, his heart aching that Cepheus had lost everyone and was stuck with him.

Sucking in a breath, Sirius turned around to see Marlene standing next to Harry. She had an arm wrapped around Harry's shoulders and a gentle smile dancing on her lips.

Sirius cleared his throat. "You ready, kid?"

Harry nodded, shifting his weight. For reasons Sirius didn't understand, Harry had seemed nervous about watching the memories. The kid had always hung on any scrap of information that had been dangled in front of him before. But something had shifted. The only thing Sirius could think of was that it had changed after that fucking memory of Snape's. Holding open an arm for his godson, Harry immediately stepped forward into Sirius' arms. He pulled Harry close to his side, pressing a kiss to his temple as they made their way to the study.

They had set up the Pensieve earlier in the day. Harry had sat the memory he selected next to the stone basin. Taking a deep breath, Sirius uncorked the memory and tipped it into the basin. James' and Lily's faces materialized. Sirius felt sick to his stomach. Harry and Marlene leaned forward, falling into the basin. Sirius just stood there, not wanting to see the memory.

Do it for Harry, he told him. Don't be a git. Do it for Harry.

Sirius stumbled forward, as though someone had shoved him, and he fell into the Pensieve and found himself in the familiar parlor of the Hollow. He held his breath as he caught sight of James and Lily sitting side by side on the sofa in the parlor. Sirius wanted to run. He wanted to hide. Most of all, he wanted to drink until he vomited out his organs. Sirius could only stare at the back of his godson's head, his eyes brimming with tears. Marlene stood next to him, her hand rubbing his back between his shoulder blades. Somehow, Marlene could swallow down her pain to be there for Harry while Sirius only stood frozen from the deep ache in his chest.

Marlene turned around, her eyes locking with his. Silent tears poured down her face. She reached out her free hand for him and Sirius felt himself take a step forward. Slowly, his hand rose up and his fingers wrapped around her palm. Squeezing her hand tightly, he wrapped his other arm around Marlene's shoulders and pressed his palm against Harry's shoulder.

James pushed up his glasses, leaning back into the sofa. "So, Merlin, this doesn't get any less awkward," he said with a small chuckle. "We should have a bloody drawing of what we think he'll look like when we have these chats. I may do that for the next one."

Lily's lips twisted. "Oh, I'm sure we could just blow up a picture of you as a kid and it'll be pretty accurate."

James laughed, an exhausted smile crossing his face. "I bet I could charm the picture to give me green eyes. Might make it a bit easier to see Harry."

James' head lolled to the side to look at Lily, his fingers rubbing against his lips. Lily only sucked in a breath, her eyes sliding shut. A few moments of silence passed before Lily opened her eyes.

"So, Harry, darling, you're starting Hogwarts," Lily said with a soft smile. "It's such an exciting time. So magical. I'll never forget the boat ride to the castle. It was the most magical thing I had ever seen."

Finding the will to move, Sirius' hand slid from Marlene's. He walked behind her, his hand pressing to the back of her head as he passed her. Taking a spot on Harry's other side, Sirius wrapped an arm around his shoulders, his cheek resting against Harry's unruly mop of hair.

"You want to concentrate on the train ride," James said. "Forget the boats. The train is where you forge friendships. Just ask Sirius."

Lily laughed, her head shaking. "He thought you were a moron when he first met you."

James scoffed. "He did not! We were instant best friends."

Lily rolled her eyes. "Harry, darling, ask your godfather about his best man speech for our wedding. I'm pretty sure he said he thought your dad was a moron the first time he met him."

Sirius remembered the speech, taking the complete piss out of James the entire time while gushing over Lily. Everyone had laughed at James' expense. Even James thought it funny.

"If I remember correctly, he called me a pillock. Not a moron," James replied in a proud tone. "Please, Padfoot, clarify for Harry what you called me."

"James is right. It was a pillock," Marlene spoke up in a strained voice. "You poked fun at him for waving a pretend Gryffindor sword."

Sirius felt a tear slid down his cheek. "Yeah, he even quoted the Gryffindor motto. I did think he was a pillock."

"I am fairly sure he rolled his eyes at me too," James added in an affectionate tone. "But I must have been endearing enough, because we shared a compartment the entire way to Hogwarts. Although, let's be honest, I was the smart choice given who else he had to choose from."

Lily rolled her eyes. "James," she said in a warning tone.

"Anyway!" James said in a loud voice. "Who you sit with on that train ride is very important. They will likely become your best mate. I swear, it's part of the Hogwarts experience. Lily sat with Marlene. I sat with Sirius. We all were sorted into Gryffindor."

"But house doesn't matter," Lily stressed. "Any house you're sorted into is lovely, darling."

James winced. "Potters are traditionally Gryffindors," he explained as he jumped up from the sofa and waved a pretend sword in the air. "Gryffindor, where dwell the brave of heart."

Sirius let out a bark-like laugh, his grip tightening on Harry's shoulder. "That's what he fucking did when I first met him!"

"Sit down, Potter, before you wake up Harry!" Lily said in an exasperated tone.

James gestured around them. "We're talking to Harry right now, Lily. Don't ruin the magic."

Lily sighed, though she smiled up at James. "Any house is just fine. While most of your family has been in Gryffindor, your grandmother was a Hufflepuff."

James plopped down on the sofa, draping an arm behind Lily. "Nah, whatever house is fine, Harry. I'm just teasing. I would never be disappointed or upset with you based off something as silly as a Hogwarts House. I'm not a Black after all."

"James!" Lily hissed.

James only chuckled. "I bet you anything, Sirius is laughing his arse off right now."

While Sirius wasn't laughing at the joke, he appreciated it all the same.

"Anyway, we have more important things to discuss," James said. "Now, if old Filch is still there, you'll need to break into his office to find the map. It's your legacy, Harry. It helped Sirius and me get out of more trouble than you could even imagine. Sirius will show you how to use it."

"Marlene, I'm begging you to keep those boys in line," Lily said, her head hitting the back of the sofa. "I could only imagine the amount of trouble Harry will find himself in with Sirius' influence."

How bloody wrong James and Lily had been. He was constantly telling Harry to keep his head down and nose clean, to avoid trouble and detention, to stay put. To be fair, if Harry's life wasn't at nonstop risk, then maybe he would be a little less strict. Or maybe he wouldn't have been. Seeing James' lifeless body on the floor had been seared in Sirius' mind. He wouldn't survive anything happening to Harry.

"So, recap for you, Harry," James said, sitting up a tad straighter. "Forge that best friendship on the train. I do think that's part of the Hogwarts magic. The train acts as a conduit that helps you find your platonic soul mate. Enjoy the pretty boat ride. Be proud of whatever house you're sorted into. Find the map. And, most importantly, just have fun, Harry. Hogwarts was… it was an adventure of a lifetime. I met the best friends I could ever ask for, I gained a brother, and I met the love of my life. Now, I'm in the next grand adventure of my life. Being your dad is, is just wonderful. Family has always meant everything to me. Family is more important than anything else in the entire world. You are my world, Harry. You and your mother. I wish… well, let's just say I hope you never see this memory, because I want to tell you all these things in person."

James pushed his glasses up with his hand, his fingers pressing tightly into his eyes. Lily leaned in close to him, her cheek resting on his quaking shoulder.

Sirius couldn't stand to look at them anymore. He titled his head back, staring at the swirl pattern in the ceiling and wishing for the memory to spit them out. Sirius held his breath, trying to keep his tears at bay. Marlene let out a strangled sob.

James cleared his throat. "No, we can't do this now. This isn't… this isn't what this is about."

"James…" Lily whispered, her voice just as hoarse and strained as James'.

"He doesn't need to be sad on the eve of going off to Hogwarts," James said. "He should be happy and celebrating with Sirius and Marlene and however many little Black sibling they gave him. Because Harry has a family with them. He's happy. I know he's happy because Sirius and Marlene would walk through fire for him."

Sirius' eyes slid shut. A family. Little tiny black-haired children hanging on Harry sprung to the front of his mind. Harry as a big brother made sense. He never got to be one.

"I think the most important thing to take away from this memory is that we love you, Harry," Lily said, a sob escaping her lips. "We love you so much, darling. You need to know that no matter what, we'll be watching over you. I know that we're proud of you. We'll get better at making these memories for you. I promise. This was only our second one. They won't all be us sobbing."

"We love you, son," James said. "We know you're in good hands with Sirius and Marlene. Marlene was always my favorite person growing up. We were inseparable as kids. And Sirius… Sirius is my brother in every single way that matters. They've always been family."

"Good luck on your big day tomorrow, sweetheart," Lily whispered in a watery voice. "Be good. Study hard. Have fun. Listen to your professors. Write your godparents often. I know they'll be missing you."

A knock sounded on the door.

Sirius's eyes snapped open and he looked down at the sofa.

James and Lily sat stiff in their spots on the sofa. A moment later a door opening sounded. James jumped up onto his feet, pulling his wand out of his pocket.

"Sirius! You can't bloody well just barge in!" Marlene's voice hissed.

James physically relaxed, a long sigh escaping his lips.

"We're family," Sirius argued.

Sirius in his leather jacket and long hair entered the parlor with Marlene also in a leather jacket at his side. She shot James and Lily an apologetic look as Sirius crossed the room to pull Lily into a one-arm hug.

"Where's Harry?" Sirius asked before pressing a kiss onto Lily's cheek.

"In bed," Lily replied. "It's nine in the evening, Sirius."

Sirius pulled back and turned to James, his brows furrowing. "All right, James?"

James nodded, pushing his glasses up his nose. "Yeah, just gave us a fright. Maybe announce yourself next time, mate."

"Sorry," Sirius replied, clapping James' on the arm. "What were you two doing?"

"Just talking about the day I met you," James replied, his tone more light-hearted than it had been. "Did you call me a pillock or a moron in your best man speech?"

A grin broke out across Sirius' face. "Pillock. You were embarrassing yourself and I thought, 'Merlin, this kid needs a friend' and decided to step up for your sake."

"Ah, it was like magic, wasn't it, Pads?" James pressed.

Sirius winced. "Is this about your bloody stupid theory that the Hogwarts Express connects soul mates or some shit?"

"Platonic soul mates, Padfoot," James corrected with a broad smile. "We sat down in that compartment together because we are platonic soul mates. You are my other half. Sorry, Lily, I mean, you're my other half as well. I'm split in a triangle. We're each a corner."

Marlene laughed. "Merlin, James. You are such a sop."

"You're just jealous you're not one of my corners, Marlene!" James protested.

A sharp cry sounded.

"Well, as much as I love all this soppy shit, I'm going to go upstairs and rock Harry back to sleep." Sirius said, turning his attention to Lily. "Does he need a bottle or does that fuck with his feeding schedule?"

"Go change his nappy. I'll go prepare him a bottle," Lily said.

Sirius nodded. "Sounds like a plan."

"Thank you, Sirius," Lily beamed, running a hand down his arm before she dashed out of the room.

The parlor of the Hollow dissolved. Sirius found himself standing in the study with tears pouring down his face. He breathed in and out for a few seconds before he turned towards Harry, bending down so he could look at his godson's face. Harry's nose was red and snotty with tearstains down his cheeks. The kid wiped the sleeve of his jumper under his nose.

"Come here," Sirius said in a hoarse voice.

Pulling the kid close to his left side, he held Harry tightly. His eyes locked with Marlene's face, soaking in her trembling lip. Without thinking, he reached out his right hand and tugged her close to him. Marlene accepted the affection, melting into his side. Sirius just stood in the study, holding the two of them in his arms and wishing things had turned out differently for them all.

How did you guys like the change in pace with the letters? They were so fun to write. Don't forget to drop a review! The motivate me to keep writing and inspire new ideas! I'm hoping to get a chapter out next weekend, but I'm only halfway through the next chapter. My week has been kind of hectic.

Special thanks to prewettpotter. She's fabulous!