"Brumous"
"Chapter Fifty-Eight: Nightmares, Nosebleeds, and Snakes"
Harry woke up, feeling surprisingly well rested. Turning over in his bed, he squinted at his clock to see it was just past nine. Apparently, nine in the morning since the sun was peeking through his window. Oddly enough, there was a glass of water by his bed that hadn't been there before. Furrowing his brow, Harry sat up and snagged his glasses off his bedside table. The last thing he remembered was talking to Ginny and Ron on the mirror.
Kicking the covers off his bed, he rolled out of bed to head to the loo. On his way there, he stopped outside of Sirius' bedroom and peered in. Nobody was in there but his eye caught sight of a suitcase sitting on the bench at the foot of the bed. There was a pair of black high heels on the floor. The bed was also made, which Sirius never bothered with. Apparently, Marlene was here to stay. Harry wondered if that meant they were officially reacquainted or what. Harry found Sirius' relationship descriptors rather annoying and confusing.
After using the loo, he made his way downstairs to find Sirius waiting at the bottom. He leaned casually against the wall with his arms crossed, his eyes appraising Harry as though looking for any sign of possession.
"Morning," Sirius greeted. "It's Sunday, by the way. You feel asleep yesterday afternoon and slept the entire night. I activated your bracelet while you were sleeping when I went to check on you."
Harry hadn't even heard Sirius enter his room. He was normally a light sleeper. Right then and there, he decided he hated any sort of Sleeping Draught and never wanted to take another one ever again. He hated how groggy they made him.
"Come on, kid, Marlene's making you breakfast," Sirius said, holding an arm open for him. "We have things to discuss."
Harry joined his godfather, feeling the comforting pressure of Sirius' palm against his neck. "Discuss what?"
"How to allow you to go safely back to school," Sirius explained, leading him towards the kitchen.
Harry sucked in a breath. "Lemme guess, you're going to come to school as Snuffles and follow me around like a guard dog?" he said, his eyes glancing up at Sirius.
Sirius shot Harry an annoyed look. "Don't bloody well tempt me, Harry."
Entering the kitchen, Harry saw Marlene by the stove. Sirius made his way over to the French press. Harry could only sink down at the kitchen table as a wave of déjà vu washed over him. All he could think was that he could get used to this. Having a family had been something he had craved his entire life. When Sirius adopted him, Harry didn't think his life could get any better until now.
The possibility of having two parents had always been inconceivable to Harry. Honestly, after a while, Harry had lost hope that he'd ever have one parent until Sirius came barreling into his life when he was thirteen.
"Morning, love," Marlene greeted, looking over her shoulder at him with a warm smile dancing on her face.
Harry offered her a soft smile. "Morning, Marly."
Marlene practically beamed at him before she turned back to the food on the stove. Sirius joined Harry a beat later at the table, setting a cup of coffee in front of him before taking the seat directly across from him. Leaning back in his chair, Sirius took a sip. His pale eyes observed Harry as Fluffernoodle poked his head out from under the collar of Sirius' jumper.
"I'm guessing you left the map at school?" Sirius started, cutting straight to the chase.
Harry frowned. "You're taking the map away from me?"
"No, I'm going to make a copy of the map," Sirius explained, sitting his coffee down on the table. "It would take too long to recreate it without the original. I'm not even sure if I remember all the charms we put on it, so I'd need to look at it again more closely."
"And do what with it? You're just going to watch my dot all day and all night?" Harry questioned, not liking the fact that he would have zero privacy for the unforeseeable future. "You may as well just follow me under the Invisibly Cloak. You want that too?"
Sirius sighed, his eyes rolling. "Would you knock off the sass?"
Harry pressed his lips tightly together, resisting the urge to roll his eyes at his godfather. He understood that Sirius was just trying to protect him. But sometimes it felt suffocating. The bracelet was terrible enough, making him feel like a dog on a lead.
"I want a copy of the map in case I need it," Sirius elaborated. "But, I will tell you, I am going to be modifying our little bracelets," he said as he held up his wrist to show off his silver bracelet. "I'm going to show you how to activate and deactivate the bracelet. It's going to be tied to your common room. So, when you're in there for the night, you'll activate it. In the morning when you're going to leave, you can deactivate it. I will know when you activate it, deactivate, and if it goes off in the middle of the night. I will also know if you take it off or tamper with it."
Harry grimaced. He hated the bloody bracelet while he was at home. He couldn't imagine having to wear it at school. He could already hear Malfoy's snide remarks. While Harry hated to admit it, it did bring him some comfort knowing that if he was possessed in the middle of the night, Sirius would know about it immediately.
"If something happens in the middle of the night, I'll have the map to know exactly where you are in the castle. Marlene will be able to intercept you or I can intercept you on the grounds," Sirius continued, his thumb tapping on the rim of his coffee mug. "I would also need your word that you won't go anywhere alone during the day. Stick close to someone you trust so they will know if something is off with the way you're acting."
"Okay," Harry replied, because he knew if he wanted to go back to school then he had to placate his godfather's anxiety.
Marlene sat a plate of food in front of him before she ran her hands through his hair. Two floating plates landed on the table, one in front of Sirius and the other in front of the chair next to him. Marlene took the seat next to him.
Sirius raised his eyebrows. "No more sassy comments? No objections?"
Harry picked up a piece of bacon. "Does it matter?" he asked before taking a bite.
Sirius frowned. "I guess not, because I won't let you go back to school otherwise."
"Sirius," Marlene said in a low tone.
Sirius shrugged, a smirk gracing his features. "Seems like a waste of time to go back and forth when I've already made up my mind."
Harry rolled his eyes. What Sirius was asking wasn't on the extreme end. He decided it was best to pick his battles with his godfather. He would just have to find a way to hide the bracelet on his wrist so no one would ask questions. Unless, they could ditch the bracelets for something else that was less conspicuous.
"I have one request," Harry said, his eyes flickering up to look at Sirius.
"What?" Sirius replied, picking up his coffee.
"Can I ditch the bracelet?" Harry asked, holding up his wrist. "Nobody wears things like this. Can't it be a watch or something more normal?"
Sirius pursed his lips to the side. "I can keep the bracelets tied to the house for when you're home. I can replicate the same thing on a watch band for when you're at school. It may be easier to have two separate ones."
"I have a watch in my trunk I can give you," Harry added, his fingers rubbing along his forehead as a headache started to settle in. "It's broken so I don't really use it anymore, but it could work. I can have Ron send it with the map."
Sirius laughed. "Yeah, no, I'm not having you wear a broken watch. It's wizarding tradition for a parent to give their son a watch for their seventeenth birthday. I'll just give you yours early."
"You don't have to go out and buy me a watch," Harry explained, thinking of all the money Sirius already wasted on enough clothes to last him a lifetime.
"I'm not buying anything," Sirius replied, his eyes glancing over at Marlene. "I'm assuming you have no objections if I have one picked out."
Harry looked between his godparents as he stretched his neck, trying to relieve some of the tension that had suddenly built up.
"No, of course not," Marlene said, waving off his concern.
Sirius rose from his chair and rounded the table. He gestured for Harry to stand up. He obliged. Sirius flipped his right wrist and unbuckled the watch on his own wrist. It was a black leather band with a dark blue face. When Sirius handed the watch over to Harry, he could see that the face was covered in constellations.
"When I was seventeen, I had already run away from home," Sirius started, his arms crossing over his chest. "Fleamont and Euphemia signed James and I out of school for a birthday dinner. They gave me that watch. Then, for James' seventeenth birthday, they gave him a matching watch. From what I gather, James was buried with his. So, I thought you'd like mine. There's an inscription on the back."
Harry swallowed, flipping the watch. The inscription that read, "No matter where life takes you, remember we will always be under the same stars. May your heart always find your way home to us no matter where you may end up." Harry's stomach twisted uncomfortably. How could he take something so sentimental from his godfather?
"Sirius, I can't… I can't take this from you," Harry said in a strangled voice, his chin tilting up so he could look at his godfather.
Sirius searched Harry's face. "I want you to have it, because your grandparents gave me a home. They treated me like a son, like a human being. They listened to my thoughts and opinions. I suddenly had a say. And… while I hate to admit it, I think that I'm to you what Fleamont was to me. I constantly think about what Fleamont would do or say when it comes to parenting you. I try so hard to emulate him, even if half the time I'm shit at it. I want to pass this watch down to you so that you not only have a bit of me with you, but you also have a little bit of James and your grandparents as well."
Harry's throat clogged, emotions swarming in his chest. Getting emotional certainly didn't help his headache any.
"I want you to know, I'll always be your home," Sirius said with a genuine smile as he tapped on the words on the back of the watch. "I can't tell you how much that meant to me at seventeen, to know I was wanted and loved for the person I was. I hope you feel similar right now."
Harry practically dove at Sirius, wrapping his arms around his godfather before the tears swimming in his eyes decided to fall. He sniffed, burying his nose into Sirius' shoulder. Like always, without fail, Sirius pressed one hand onto the back of Harry's head and the other arm wrapped around his back.
Ever since he stayed at Grimmauld Place with Sirius the summer before his fifth year, he had decided that Privet Drive wasn't his home. It was a house that he had been forced to live. He could remember wondering if he could consider Grimmauld Place his home, the only place he had ever lived under the same roof as Sirius. After the events of the previous summer, Harry became acutely aware that home wasn't a house. A home was truly comprised of people. Home for Harry was wherever Sirius was.
When Harry pulled away from Sirius, he froze. Sirius' shirt was covered in blood. His hand rose to his nose, feeling wetness wash against the pads of his fingers. Pulling his hand away, he saw it covered in blood.
"Harry?" Sirius said in a panic, his hands cupping Harry's face and tilting it up towards the ceiling. "Marly, give me something!"
A couple of seconds passed before something soft was pushed under his nose. Sirius held his hand steady, applying pressure. Harry could only breathe out of his mouth. His hands rose up, fumbling to wrap around Sirius' arm to help steady himself. His mild headache started to throb. His body swayed, knocking into Sirius' chest.
Sharp stabs sliced through his head in rapid succession before they disappeared, leaving the ache behind. Moments passed before the stabs would start again. Sirius yelled, loud and booming but Harry couldn't make out the words. His legs gave out from under him. He would have crashed to the ground if it wasn't for Sirius' tight grip on him.
"Siri…" Harry slurred, black dots obscuring his vision until they overtook him completely.
The next thing Harry knew was that he was no longer in the kitchen. He was laying on a sofa. Soft voices murmured nearby. Harry forced his eyes open, taking in the familiar parlor. Luckily, he was wearing his glasses. His gaze roamed until it landed on three people talking by the fireplace: Dumbledore looking grave, Marlene biting her lip as she listened intently to Dumbledore speak, and Sirius wearing his blood-soaked shirt stood with his arms crossed and his head bowed.
Harry smacked his lips, his mouth dry like sandpaper. His headache was completely gone. Harry supposed that was something. Pushing himself up into a seated position, Harry swung his legs off the sofa and planted his feet on the floor. The rustling was enough to gain the small group's attention. Sirius immediately broke away from the group, his long legs allowing him to cross the room in several strides. His godfather knelt down in front of him, his hands gripping Harry's. Sirius' hands were relatively clean with a bit of blood caked underneath his nails.
"Are you all right?" Sirius asked, his eyes full of concern.
Harry nodded. "Yeah, what happened?"
"Lord Voldemort attacked the blocks I put up in your mind," Dumbledore explained, making his way over to them. "He successfully dismantled three of them. All of them insignificant and most likely infuriating. One was you shopping for new glasses with Sirius, another was you taking your Transfiguration O.W.L., and the final one was you walking around the school grounds with Ron Weasley."
"And he didn't, err, he didn't see anything of importance?" Harry asked, his heart thumping in his chest.
"While I cannot know for sure he did not see anything of importance, I doubt he did," Dumbledore explained, clasping his hands in front of him. "I daresay he was too busy attacking the mind blocks to even think about searching for things not protected."
Harry swallowed, his head nodding absentmindedly. "How many blocks are there?"
It seemed like a question he should have asked when the blocks were initially placed on his mind. Except, he had been groggy from potions and the blocks had been placed while he slept.
"Several hundred," Dumbledore replied.
Harry's eyes widened. "Several hundred?" he echoed.
"If we were going to hide mundane information, we needed plenty of blocks to distract him," Marlene explained, making her way over towards him. "It's like a Niffler trying to find the real gold coin in a sea of fakes. But the joke's on him. Every single one of those blocks hides something meaningless."
"It's the perfect ruse," Dumbledore added, a soft smile gracing his exhausted face. "I also repaired the three blocks he dismantled. I assure you, if he stumbles upon those blocks again, it would no doubt infuriate him."
"So… he won't stop attacking my mind then," Harry concluded in a miserable tone.
"He will," Sirius assured him, giving his hands a squeeze. "Voldemort is not a patient man. He'll grow bored of the trickery eventually. He'll start to formulate a new plan to gain the information he seeks."
Harry didn't feel comfort in that statement.
"It buys us time," Sirius added, his pale eyes searching Harry's face. "We need to close your mind once and for all."
"You want to try the procedure again?" Harry asked, hating the small tremble in his voice that he couldn't control.
"No, I don't," Sirius said in a sure tone. "We can't risk you possessing Voldemort again."
Harry felt something glide across his wrist. Looking down, Harry saw Fluffernoodle escaping the sleeve of Sirius' shirt and wrapping himself around Harry's arm. His little tail poked out from Harry's sleeve and rested along Sirius' knuckles. Harry vaguely wondered if Sirius no longer noticed the snake always wrapped around him. He still noticed when Fettuccine coiled himself around one of Harry's limbs.
"What do we do then?" Harry asked, snapping his attention up to his godfather.
"That's what we're trying to figure out," Sirius answered honestly, his palm pressing against the side of Harry's neck. "Why don't you go get cleaned up? I wiped most of the blood off your face, but you could use a shower."
When Harry didn't move, Sirius offered him a strained smile.
"Look, if we figure something out, I will tell you," Sirius insisted in a sincere voice. "I promise."
Harry's heart felt like it had solidified into a rock. "Yeah, okay."
Sirius grabbed Harry's wrist, pushing up his sleeve. He shooed Fluffernoodle away to reveal the bracelet. Pressing his wand to the silver, Sirius muttered under this breath. He wasn't trusted upstairs alone. Harry was very familiar with where Sirius had drawn the crossing point in the hallway. Without another word, Harry rose from the sofa and made his way upstairs.
Ginny tossed her quill onto the desk, shooting Snape a murderous glare because her hand ached from all the lines she had to endure. Demelza looked equal parts annoyed, her eyebrows drawing low on her face. Honestly, if the school wanted them to practice spells, they should really allow them in the corridors. It wasn't her or Demelza's fault that Pansy Parkinson and Lily Moon were practically begging to be hit with a Trip Jinx. Maybe next time they would keep their big fat mouths shut instead of making snide comments about Niamh having a Muggle father.
When Snape dismissed them, Ginny didn't need telling twice. She shoved her quill into her bag before stomping up to Snape's desk and dropping off her lines. Demelza did the same. The two girls exited the Defense Against the Dark Arts room as quickly as they could before Snape could give them another detention for breathing wrong or something ridiculous.
"Fucking wanker," Ginny muttered under her breath. "Did Parkinson and Moon receive detention for the bullshit they were spewing? Hypocritical git."
"I'd love to Trip Jinx him and hope he breaks his abnormally large nose," Demelza added, flipping her long dark hair behind her shoulder.
"Let's manifest tonight and make sure it happens in the Great Hall in front of everyone," Ginny suggested, a smirk breaking out across her face.
Demelza snorted. "Imagine blood. Lots and lots of blood. I want so much blood that he has to be on Blood Replenishing Potions for a ruddy month."
"I think if that's needed, then he'd be dead," Ginny explained, the girls turning the corner.
"Oh, we could only be so lucky," Demelza sighed in a dreamy voice.
A laugh crawled up Ginny's throat but died on her lips at the sight in front of her. Cepheus stood with his back pressed against the wall. Malfoy, Nott, Crabbe, and Goyle surrounded him. Malfoy's palm pressed against the wall close to Cepheus' ear, his body pressing in close to Cepheus'.
"Oi!" Ginny roared, bolting towards the group. "What the fuck do you think you're doing?"
Malfoy glanced over at her, his lip curling into a sneer. "Just having a chat with my cousin," he said, turning back to Cepheus and patting him roughly on the cheek. "Explaining to him where his place is. What's it to you, little Weaselbee?"
Ginny saw red. "Get away from him! You have no business even talking to him after what your father did to him!"
A stony glare crossed Malfoy's face. He turned slowly to look at Cepheus and let out a cruel chuckle.
"Tell her, Black," Malfoy urged, his eyebrows raising as he looked down at Cepheus. "Tell her you belong with us. It's your birth right."
"Sirius and Harry are his family, not you," Ginny spat, feeling Demelza step up beside her.
"Tell her the truth, Black. Oh, wait, should I not call you Black?" Malfoy said in a near mocking tone. "What with your lineage and all. I'm surprised she doesn't already know, given how Potter acts like a lovesick puppy dog following her around all the time. Or maybe Potter doesn't know the truth. Do you think his beloved dumb dog of a godfather never told him?"
Cepheus' eyes glanced over at Ginny and Demelza, his wide eyes pleading. He didn't say anything as his body trembled against the wall. Ginny frowned, her eyes flickering between the two of them.
Malfoy laughed, smirking. "Oh, this is too good. Potter doesn't even know who he's living with? How poetic," he continued, his grin widening. "Black here is the Dark Lord's grandson, little Weaselbee. The dumb dog? Yeah, his real daddy is the Dark Lord. Potter's been consorting with the family that killed his parents."
Ginny's head snapped to look at Cepheus. He hit his head against the stone wall, tears brimming his eyes. Ginny's heart skipped a beat, not believing her ears. There was no way that Sirius was Voldemort's son. It seemed impossible to believe. Sirius was so nice. How many nights had he stayed awake with her the summer before her fourth year, listening to her fears after what had happened in the Chamber of Secrets? How many times had she seen Sirius soften whenever talking to Harry, finally giving him the father figure that he so desperately needed?
It seemed impossible to connect Sirius with Voldemort. But the more she thought about it, she could connect him with Tom. Both of them tall with dark hair and a disarming smile. The way their voices lulled her into feeling safe and heard. Ginny's breath hitched in her throat, suddenly feeling nauseous at the very thought of it.
Except Sirius wasn't Tom. He had never gaslit her, had never manipulated her, had never been cruel to her in the same way Tom had been. Sirius didn't make her feel small and childish. He treated her like he did Harry, like a mature young adult that had been through more than most their age.
Ginny took a step back, swallowing at the lump in her throat. She stared at Cepheus, trying to decipher what the truth was. His lips were pressed tightly together. It must be true if he wasn't denying anything.
"Enough of this bullshit," Demelza broke the tension, stepping forward and grabbing onto Cepheus' wrist. "Come on, let's get away from these fuckers."
All Ginny could think was that she needed to tell Harry. He needed to know. Her heart hammered in her chest, pulsating in her ears, as she followed Demelza and Cepheus numbly down the corridors towards Gryffindor tower. Cepheus remained quiet, his hands shoved in his trouser pockets and his head bowed down low. Ginny only stared straight ahead of her.
"Malfoy is such a little fucker," Demelza concluded with a huff. "Stirring the shit like that? I mean, is his goal to try to put a rift between all of us? First, Malfoy's wannabe girlfriend insults Niamh and now they're claiming this bullshit?"
"I don't care about blood," Cepheus said in small voice. "I don't care that Niamh's dad is a Muggle."
"Of course, you fucking don't," Demelza replied. "You're not a git."
Cepheus looked over at Ginny, attempting to catch her eye. But Ginny stubbornly refused to. Honestly, she was afraid all she would see was Tom. While Cepheus didn't have the height, he certainly had the facial structure and dark hair. How had she never seen it before? After having it pointed out to her, that's all she could bloody well see.
Once they arrived back in the common room, Ginny bolted up to the girls' dormitory. Demelza called after her, but Ginny ignored her. She wanted – no, needed to talk to Harry straight away. While she didn't think Sirius would actually harm Harry, he needed to know the truth. It seemed important for reasons Ginny couldn't exactly comprehend.
Snagging the mirror off her bedside table, she plopped down on her bed. She drew the curtains around her, casting privacy charms so no one would overhear. Letting out a low breath, she stared at her reflection in the glass. Her freckles shone brightly in the mirror, standing out like sore thumbs on unnaturally pale face.
"Harry Potter," she said in a sure voice.
It only took a few seconds for the mirror to swirl. Harry's face appeared, his face tugging downward instantly.
"Gin? Are you okay? You look like you're going to be sick," Harry greeted her.
"I need to speak to you alone," Ginny insisted.
"What happened?" Harry asked, sitting up straight.
Ginny couldn't tell where he was. The mirror was too close to his face. She had only been by the Seifton house that one time over the Christmas holiday.
"Are you alone?" Ginny pressed.
"Just tell me what happened, Ginny!" Harry demanded, concern shining in his bright green eyes.
Ginny sucked in a breath. "Malfoy had Cepheus cornered in the corridor. Demelza and I stumbled upon them. Malfoy said that Cepheus is Voldemort's grandson and that Sirius is his son."
Harry seemed to freeze on the mirror for a few seconds before his gaze flickered to look beyond the mirror at something not in her view. Or perhaps, someone. A beat later, Harry looked back at the mirror.
"Listen to me, you can't tell anyone about this," Harry said in a rush. "You need to tell Demelza that as well."
Ginny's brows furrowed. "Did you hear me?"
"I did," Harry assured her, his hand running through his wild hair. "I already knew."
"You knew?" Ginny echoed in a shaky voice, her lips parting. "So, it's true?"
Harry's jaw feathered. "Look, it doesn't even matter," he insisted. "You know Sirius. You know Cepheus as well."
"Harry…" Ginny trailed off, her head shaking and trying to wrap her head around the information.
How could Harry not tell her?
"It means nothing," Harry pressed with conviction, making it clear that he was not willing to debate the topic further. "I am constantly in Voldemort's head and possessed by him and I can talk to snakes just like him. You never once judged me."
Ginny's stomach dropped. He was right. She never once thought Harry was anything like Tom. Not even once. When the rumors of him being the heir of Slytherin ran rampant in her first year, she had scoffed at them. Harry was a good person, so fucking pure. He would never hurt a soul.
"Gin," Harry said in a stern voice.
Ginny let out a huff of air. "Yeah, right. You're right."
She knew he was. Ginny thought of her grandmother Cedrella. She had been a Black as well, sickened by her family's stance on, well, a lot of fucking things. She had married into a notorious blood traitor family, allowing herself to be blasted off the family tree and never looking back. Her grandmother was one of the kindest people she had ever met. And Ginny had met Walburga's portrait and knew how absolutely foul the Blacks could be first hand. She had never thought poorly on Sirius before despite knowing he was a Black. Why should this be any different?
It was just Tom. Ginny hated to admit it. It was personal because of what he had done to her. Being reminded of him made her blood run cold. She didn't want to think of Tom every time she saw Sirius or Cepheus.
"Give me the mirror," Sirius' voice said out of the frame.
The image shifted until she caught sight of Sirius in the mirror. His face was pulled down, the crinkles stemming from his eyes more prominent than they had ever been. A piece of dark hair fell into his eyes, reminiscent of Tom all those years ago. He had the same jawline as Tom, as well as the same thin lips. The eyes were different though. Tom had dark, piercing eyes that made her shrink. Sirius had pale eyes, gray and a lot kinder. Ginny decided to focus on his eyes.
"Ginny, I need you to listen to me," Sirius said in a low voice. "I'm not him, okay? I hate him for what he did to James, for what he's doing to Harry. I hate him for what he did to you. I would rather die than give him a speck of my time or energy. I'd love nothing more than to be the one to kill that fucker, all right?"
Ginny swallowed, her head nodding. "I know," she whispered.
"I would never harm Harry or you," Sirius insisted in a fierce tone. "I would never harm anyone in your family. Blood doesn't define a person. Blood is merely a suggestion of family."
"Like my grandmother," Ginny said in a hushed tone.
A tight smile crossed Sirius' face. "Exactly like your grandmother. The Blacks are just as terrible. I hate that I'm associated with either one of these families. I hate the lot of them."
The tension in Ginny's chest started to unravel. "I know. Really, I do. I just… I thought about, about the diary and I just…"
Ginny looked up at the top of her canopy. She wasn't going to cry. She didn't want to give Tom anymore power over her than she already had. The diary was gone. Tom was gone. All that was left was Voldemort. Tom and Voldemort looked so vastly different that it helped calm her irrational fears a tad.
"I understand, Ginny," Sirius said in a gentle tone that he normally reserved for Harry. "When I first found out last October, I wanted to die. I was mortified. Embarrassed. I didn't want it to be true. I didn't want anyone to know. I dealt with the news very poorly."
Ginny sniffed, her gaze resting on the mirror once more. Sirius suddenly looked a lot less like Tom. He looked like Sirius again. Ginny wondered if her mind had been playing tricks on her.
"It wasn't just James' and Lily's deaths that had me drinking so heavily on Halloween," Sirius admitted in a rough voice. "When I found out about… that, and I, well, I didn't want to think about it. I didn't want to think about anything, honestly."
"I'm sorry, Sirius," Ginny said in a sincere voice, a tear sliding down her cheek. She angrily wiped it away. "I didn't mean to… I was just shocked."
"Understandable," Sirius replied, letting out a long sigh. "I really don't want this to get out. Although, I'm sure if Narcissa's little brat is telling people then it's only a matter of time."
"Demelza didn't believe it," Ginny explained. "She was rather adamant that it was a way to try to drive a wedge between our friendship group."
"I'd ask you to go along with that as well then," Sirius asked, his face tugging down. "I also ask you not to tell anyone. I'd like to do it on my own terms. Or, at least, as close to my own terms as I can, given that Malfoy is forcing me to do it sooner rather than later."
Ginny nodded, feeling immensely better than she had when she initially heard the news. "I can do that. I'm so sorry, Sirius. You've been nothing but kind to me and, and I feel awful that I doubted your intentions for even a moment."
"I'm not offended, Ginny," Sirius replied, his thumb nail scratching his brow. "I'll give you back to Harry."
Sirius disappeared from the glass, the ceiling showing as he handed the mirror over. Harry's face appeared a moment later. She couldn't help but feel guilty as she looked at him for letting her irrational fears overtake her.
"Tell me exactly what happened," Harry insisted.
Ginny did, trying to recall Malfoy's exact words. She knew Sirius was listening off to the side, so she wanted the encounter as accurate as possible in case he needed to tell the Order of the Phoenix what had happened. Nearing the end of her tale, Fettuccine made its way onto her bed. Ginny tried not to wince. She wasn't the biggest fan of Harry having a pet snake.
When Harry asked to see his snake, Ginny reluctantly grabbed it around its waist and held it up to the mirror. Harry hissed and the snake only nodded its head in understanding.
"Let her go," Harry said. "She's going to go spy on Malfoy for me."
"Harry," Sirius's voice said in an exasperated tone.
Ginny let the snake down. It slithered over to the edge of her bed and disappeared.
"What?" Harry asked, turning his head to the side. "I'm keeping my head down and my nose clean just like you asked me to do. You didn't say anything about Fettuccine."
"I swear to fucking Merlin, kid, one of these days, you're going to give me a bloody heart attack," Sirius announced. "Don't do anything with any information you may or may not obtain, all right? Just come to me for once?"
Harry rolled his eyes before turning his attention back to the mirror. "He's just jealous he didn't think of it first," he said with a shit-eating grin crossing his face.
"You are such a little shit, you know that?" Sirius said, though his tone was light and affectionate.
Harry only grinned more before he changed the subject, asking about the Quidditch practice he missed as though everything was completely fine and normal. Ginny supposed it was for him. He had known about Sirius' secret for months. Then, as though hit by a Bludger, Ginny recalled how Harry had mentioned something about a family secret that Sirius didn't want anyone knowing. Suddenly, the pieces all clicked together. She felt better knowing he had wanted to tell her months ago.
After an hour of talking to Harry about normal things, all the anxiety that had built up earlier seemed to have disappeared. When the mirrors disconnected, Ginny knew she had to speak with Cepheus. Ginny made her way down to the common room. Cepheus sat next to Ron, his anxious eyes watching Demelza carefully. He didn't know her well enough to know she wouldn't say anything to anyone. Demelza was an ironclad secret keeper, refusing to betray her friends' trust. She had, after all, never told Niamh or Gemma about the possessions or Chamber of Secrets incident in their first year.
"Hey, can we talk?" Ginny asked, leaning over the back of the sofa.
Cepheus nodded, the two of them making their way up to the boys' dormitory. Nobody was in bed yet, but Ginny didn't want to take any chances that they'd be overheard. Chewing her bottom lip, she placed privacy charms on the door so no one could hear them as Cepheus checked to ensure no one was in the loo.
Ginny tucked a piece of hair behind her ear, watching as Cepheus entered the dormitory. He was quiet, his hands shoved into his trouser pockets with his shoulders hunching. She squinted at him. Cepheus, arguably, looked even less like Tom than Sirius did. While Cepheus shared the jawline and thin lips, the slope of his nose was all wrong. He had dimples. The arch of his brow was different as well.
"I'm sorry," Ginny announced. "I, uh, I talked to Harry and Sirius."
Cepheus nodded. "Okay."
Ginny cleared her throat. "When I was eleven, I was given a diary by Lucius Malfoy. The diary had… I don't know. Voldemort's essence in it. It was him when he was younger, before his looks completely changed. He possessed me. Made me do terrible things. I knew him as Tom. And I… I panicked when Malfoy said you were…" she trailed off, biting her bottom lip. "Harry and Sirius made me feel better. Calmed me down. So, I'm sorry about my initial reaction."
Cepheus let out a low sigh, collapsing down on his trunk in front of his bed. "I didn't know until Malfoy kidnapped me," he admitted in a small voice, his gaze looking at his hands twisting in his lap. "I hate it. I went from desperately wanting to know all about my family to wishing that I was still in the dark. I wish things could go back to the way they were."
Ginny sank down on the trunk next to him, her hand reaching out to grasp his. "I know you miss your mum. I can't even fathom what that would feel like."
"Losing her was worse than being tortured," Cepheus admitted in a hoarse voice. "I'd give anything to have her back. I'd do anything to have her back. I'd go back to being tortured if I could have her back."
Ginny drew Cepheus' hand into her lap, wrapping both hands around his. "I know it's hard, but you do have people who love you."
Cepheus let out a huff of air, his head shaking. "Harry's great. I'm really glad I get on so well with him. But Uncle Sirius is distant. I can see the way he looks at me sometimes, like he doesn't know how to feel about me. I get he had a difficult relationship with my dad. But I'm not him. He was a Death Eater. He probably tortured and killed people, just like Malfoy did to me. What if he was still alive? Would he have hurt me too in order to please Voldemort?"
Ginny swallowed. "I don't know," she admitted honestly. "I don't know anything about Regulus. But I do know Sirius. I know he would have still gone after you. He would have still protected you."
Cepheus shrugged. "Maybe."
"Not maybe," Ginny said in a sure tone. "For all of Sirius' faults, he's extremely loyal to the people who mean something to him. Trust me, if Sirius didn't care about you, he wouldn't have risked his life to save you."
Cepheus nodded, tears brimming his eyes as he glanced over at Ginny. "We're good?" he whispered.
Ginny smiled. "Yeah, we're good."
"And… Harry… he's not angry with me?" Cepheus pressed.
Ginny furrowed her brows. "Why would Harry be angry with you?"
"Because of the Niamh stuff," Cepheus replied, his face pulling. "I know she was Ron's girlfriend. I know Harry and Ron are extremely close. Niamh told me it was a mutual breakup between them. And she's so nice. She listens. I really like her."
"Trust me, Harry is fine," Ginny assured him. "Call him on the mirror. I'm sure he'll tell you himself. But you'll have to be very blunt with him. He doesn't pick up on social cues a lot of the time."
"I'll take your word for it," Cepheus replied.
"I know… I know Sirius and Harry are very close," Ginny started, her eyes searching his. "I'm sure it's hard coming into that dynamic. But Harry really cares for you. I know Sirius does as well. While they're both not the most talkative, I know they'd try to talk more for you if you let your feelings known."
A small smile crossed Cepheus' face. "Thanks, Ginny. I really appreciate it."
Ginny returned the smile as she reached out to pull him into a hug. "Anytime. I'm here for you too."
Cepheus nodded, his grip tightening around her. "Malfoy cornered me earlier. He told me Voldemort wanted me to take the Mark. He told me I belonged with them. They all showed me their Marks on their arms. They told me I had to go with them. That's when you and Demelza showed up."
Ginny pulled back, gripping his biceps. "Cepheus, you have to tell Sirius about this. He needs to know."
A tear ran down Cepheus' face. "Okay. I will."
Ginny sat with him for a while, trying to calm him down from the events of the evening. All she could think about how Malfoy needed to be silenced before he ended up spewing the Black family secret to the entire school.
Sirius stood on a cliff, the water crashing against the stone. The place was familiar, but Sirius couldn't pinpoint where exactly he was. A terrible childhood memory locked away in the deep seeds of his mind most likely. So close he could taste it, but yet so far away that he couldn't grasp it. Sirius hadn't a clue why he was even here.
The salty air assaulted his senses. He had the urge to jump, inching closer and closer to the edge of the cliff. An uncomfortable feeling slithered across his skin, causing him to feel dirty. His eyes stared out at the water, his heart hammering in his chest as the ball of his foot lingered on the edge. Just a little further. One step. That's all it would take. Surely, that's why he was there. It would solve everyone's problems. He'd never be able to hurt or burden anyone ever again. All he had to do was step off and gravity would take care of the rest.
"Sirius," a familiar voice called behind him, one that made ice slither across every inch of his body.
Turning around slowly, Sirius came face to face with his little brother. Regulus looked just how Sirius remembered him. So young with his curly dark locks and sad pale eyes. He looked like a kicked puppy. Always had.
"I'm dreaming," Sirius concluded, his face tugging down. "Why can't I dream without a dead person paying me a fucking visit?"
"Maybe because you dwell on the past with that guilt complex of yours," Regulus said in the snotty voice Sirius remembered from when they were kids. "Although, funnily enough, I think only someone with the last name Potter is afforded with that privilege. Blacks be damned, am I right?"
"Fuck off," Sirius seethed, turning around to look off the cliff once more. "I'm taking care of your kid, aren't I? I have a list a mile long of things that need done and finding out I have an orphaned nephew certainly wasn't something I was looking to add."
"You offer him food and shelter, but you distance yourself from him," Regulus explained, a tinge of pain behind his words. "Harry gets all the attention, all of your affection, and he even gets an affectionate little nickname. It's like history repeats itself, doesn't it? You always had an obsession with anyone named Potter as you ran as far away from anyone named Black."
Sirius whipped around, hearing enough. "Harry is my godson. I held him the day he was born. I vowed to love and protect him when I accepted my role in his life. I cherished every single moment I got with that kid. I minded him, changed his nappies, rocked him to sleep. I missed that kid every single fucking day for twelve years while I rotted away in hell. I have done nothing by try to protect him since escaping prison, trying to shield him from this fucked up world. I only found out Cepheus existed a handful of months ago. So, tell me how I develop a relationship with a kid I just met instead of chastising me for having a connection with a kid I've known for fifteen and a half years!"
"He's drowning and you haven't even noticed," Regulus whispered. "He knows he's not on your list of priorities. He knows he'll never be as close to you as Harry is. Now, he's worrying himself sick because it's only a matter of time before that entire school knows he's the Dark Lord's grandson! You don't even care."
Sirius did care about Cepheus. He could only imagine what the kid was going through. His mother murdered, him being kidnapped and tortured, and now the ugly truth of his parentage coming to light. Sirius sympathized with his nephew. He really fucking did. But Harry needed him more. He had put nearly all of his focus onto Harry as a result.
But Sirius doubted that this was truly about Harry and Cepheus. While Sirius hadn't provided the most emotional support to Cepheus, he also knew damn well that Andromeda had become increasingly close to him. He knew they talked on the mirrors plenty. Andromeda was the far superior Black in the family.
Sirius took a step forward, his heart aching. "Say it," he said, wanting to hear the ugly truth from his brother out loud.
"Say what, Sirius?" Regulus sighed.
"Say what you've wanted to say to me since I left Grimmauld Place for good," Sirius clarified. "It's why you didn't contact me when you found out about the Horcruxes. It's why you never told me about Cepheus. Go on, say it."
Regulus jutted his jaw to the side. "You want me to say I hate you? Fine. I hate you for leaving. I hate you for the indifference you showed me since you were sorted into Gryffindor. I hate that you were friends with James fucking Potter. Still, even in our deaths, you're still putting Potter first because you always put Harry above Cepheus! I hate that you were Uncle Alphard's favorite. I hate how even though you were infuriating and disobedient, you were still the favored child."
Sirius laughed. He couldn't help himself. Even in death, Regulus was so fucking delusional.
"Do you fucking hear yourself?" Sirius asked, his head shaking. "I showed you indifference because they would have punished you for associating with a lowly blood traitor in the making. I was never the favored child. I was constantly reminded that you were a far better son than I could ever hope to be. I was the scapegoat. I was blamed for all of the family's problems while they ignored the crux of their issues. Uncle Alphard was the only one who treated me like I was a person and not as some heir to be groomed. I'm glad I was friends with James, because my eyes were opened to how asinine our family truly was," he said in a dangerously low voice before heaving a breath. "Harry means more to me than anyone else in this entire fucked up world and he will always come first. You can hate me all you want for me leaving, but you wouldn't have come if I asked. You had your little Voldemort shrine and were rubbing elbows with all the pompous pureblood gits like you were bloody born to do it. You ate up the attention. You fucking loved it."
"I was forced to join–"
"Don't lie!" Sirius roared, his finger jabbing at Regulus' chest. "You wanted to join! You only got cold feet when you realized the magnitude of it. When you realized the lengths that sociopath would go to be immortal."
Regulus' chest heaved.
"You loved it, didn't you?" Sirius continued to seethe. "There was a small bit of you that was thrilled to find out Voldemort was your daddy."
"You saw my memories! You read my journal!" Regulus protested, his own voice raising. "You can think whatever you want so you can sleep at night."
"Funny how you only gave Charlotte memories after you joined," Sirius hissed. "Where were the memories of you being forced?"
Regulus ground his teeth, his hand shooting out to press against Sirius' forehead. He tried to bat it away but he froze when movement caught his eye behind Regulus. His breath hitched in his throat when he saw Walburga walking towards them, a little boy on either side of her. Sirius' eyes grew wide, air salty air causing them to sting.
"Do you remember this, Sirius?" Regulus asked, dropping his hand.
Sirius stared at the little boys. He saw himself, looking to be around five years old. Sirius watched his younger self break away from Walburga to stand at the edge of the cliff. The wind blew through his hair, his long emerald green dress robes billowing behind him.
"Walburga," a deep male voice called.
Sirius whipped around, his eyes zeroing in on the man standing before Walburga. He was tall with dark hair that was perfectly coifed on top of his head. The wind didn't even move a strand as he walked towards Walburga and little Regulus.
"What is this?" Sirius gasped.
"A memory of us meeting our father for the first time," Regulus replied. "This is your memory, Sirius."
Sirius shook his head. "I don't remember this."
"My lord," Walburga greeted, lowering herself in a ridiculously low curtsey.
Sirius' heart pounded in his chest as a blur of green ran past him. He watched his younger self bolt towards Walburga, his hand reaching up for hers as he cowered behind her legs.
"Orion knows, my lord," Walburga stated. "Arcturus brewed a paternity potion."
Voldemort arched a dark eyebrow up as he stared down at Sirius. "I see. What would you have me do about that?"
"This farce could finally be over with, Tom," Walburga stated as though it were the most obvious thing in the world. "We can raise our children together."
Voldemort sneered. "I have no interest in raising children, Walburga," he said in a cold tone. "I have no use for these boys until they are older."
Walburga tugged Sirius out from behind her, thrusting the trembling boy in front of her. "Sirius is exceptionally bright for a five-year-old. His French is as good as his English. He's taken an interest in Transfiguration. His tutor says he can already recite Gamp's Laws of Elemental Transfiguration. He asks questions during his lessons, questions that are far advanced for his age. Curious is the word the tutor used. Sirius is very curious about magic and the world around him. I have no doubt that under your guidance, he will only continue to blossom. We can mold him together in exactly the type of wizard that would be most useful to our cause."
Voldemort's dark eyes roamed across Sirius. He took a step forward, crouching down in front of the child. Reaching inside of his robes, he produced his wand. He held it out for Sirius.
"Take it," Voldemort hissed when Sirius didn't reach for it.
Sirius' hand rose, accepting the wand. His fingers wrapped tightly around the wood. Voldemort reached into his outer robe pocket, producing a small brown snake. He held it by the tail in front of Sirius, the snake withering and coiling.
"Kill it," Voldemort instructed.
Sirius' little shoulders stiffened. When the child didn't move, Voldemort reached out and wrapped his long fingers around Sirius' left wrist, forcing it up.
"Switch hands," Voldemort instructed. "One does not hold a wand with their left hand. Perhaps, you are not as clever as your mother proclaims."
"He's left-handed, my lord," Walburga interrupted.
"Only weak wizards use their left hand," Voldemort interrupted. "Switch hands now, Sirius."
Sirius stepped forward in order to see his younger self's face. He could remember Walburga being adamant he use his right hand, but he never could. It always felt strange and foreign. He never bothered to even pretend once he arrived at Hogwarts. After all, he had told Ollivander he was left-handed. His wand had always suited him well. It was probably why his Uncle Alphard's wand worked exceptionally well for him after Azkaban as well. His uncle had been left-handed like him.
Sirius watched his younger self transfer the wand from his left hand to his right. Taking a couple of steps forward, Sirius crouched down to his younger self's level. He honestly couldn't remember anything about this meeting.
"Kill the snake," Voldemort instructed again.
Sirius held the wand awkwardly in his right hand. His wide gray eyes stared at the snake in front of him, but he didn't raise the wand to it.
"What are you waiting for?" Voldemort snapped, reaching out again and forcing Sirius to point the wand at the snake. "Kill it."
"I don't want to," Sirius' little voice squeaked. "It didn't do anything."
"Sirius, do as you are told," Walburga seethed. "You do not ask questions. You do not refuse an order. Do you understand me?"
The corner of Sirius' lips twitched as his eyebrows lowered on his face. Still, Sirius didn't move. With a scoff, Voldemort snatched the wand from Sirius and stood up.
"This is why I don't deal with children," Voldemort commented. "Has he ever even cast a spell before?"
"No, my lord, he has never cast a spell before," Walburga confirmed. "He has performed accidental magic though."
"I do not wish to waste my time with a child, Walburga," Voldemort repeated, his dark eyes burning a hole into Walburga. "Let me know when he's actually useful."
"Tom, Orion knows!" Walburga exclaimed.
"Then, I suggest you make whatever deal you need to with Orion to keep things from changing," Voldemort suggested, pocketing his wand. "When the time comes, I will
remove Orion from the picture. But, until then, let the boys be Orion's problem."
Without another word, Voldemort turned and walked away from them. Walburga huffed, grabbing Sirius by the arm and hauling him over towards the cliff. She forced him to stand on the very edge, her eyes blazing with anger.
"You have embarrassed me, Sirius!" Walburga hissed. "You could have smashed the snake's head with a rock. You could have thrown the snake from this cliff. You can have done a number of things to please the Dark Lord, but yet you had to just stand there like an insolent child. I should throw you from this cliff to teach you a lesson, force you to use magic if you want to survive. Do you want to survive, Sirius?"
"Mummy," Sirius gasped out a sob, his body pushing back away from the cliff.
"Do not cry!" Walburga boomed. "You are the heir to the Black family. Blacks do not cry. You will hold your head high with dignity and learn from your mistakes. The next time a wizard of higher standard asks you to do something, you will do it whether or not you want to. You will obey, Sirius."
Walburga stormed away from the cliff's edge, shouting at Regulus to stop crying as well. The even younger boy sat curled up in a ball on the grass, silent tears pouring down his face. Sirius remained at the cliff's edge.
"Do you remember this?" Sirius demanded, standing up and turning to face Regulus.
"When you die, you remember everything," Regulus commented in a strange tone. "I may have pushed this memory to the forefront of your mind."
"Fuck you," Sirius seethed, his head snapping to see the back of his younger self's head.
"I didn't leave you memories from when I joined the Death Eaters because I was no better than you were as a five-year-old," Regulus snapped. "You were given the wand, told to switch hands, but you hesitated to kill because you didn't want to. You can hate me all you want, Sirius, but I was no better than you. I took the Mark, I held the wand, but I hesitated to kill because I didn't want to. Bella forced me to do it. She forced me to eventually hurt someone… to kill someone. I pleased him in a way you never did. But it never felt good. The more I was forced, the more I wanted it all to stop."
Sirius stared at his kid brother, his stomach churning at the words. Regulus had been sixteen. He had been the exact same age that Harry and Cepheus were now. While he knew Harry would not accept the Mark, Sirius couldn't say the same about Cepheus. The kid wasn't as strong-willed as Harry, certainly far less brave and less powerful. He could see the kid bending under pressure. Sirius knew that Cepheus didn't have a mean bone in his body, but he would be too weak to stop it.
Regulus straightened. "The Dark Lord doesn't know Harry has a Horcrux inside of him," he said in a measured voice. "It's not even a thought on his mind. He's too arrogant. Thinks he has complete control over his magic. The proper steps weren't taken, after all. He has no idea what the connection is."
Sirius narrowed his eyes at his dead kid brother.
"He does want to figure it out though," Regulus continued in the most annoyingly nonchalant voice ever. "He's going to attack the mind blocks tonight. One final time before he starts plotting a new attack plan. He's frustrated by all the meaningless blocks. He doesn't want to play your game."
Sirius frowned, his insides twisting painfully.
"He thinks you're fucking with him," Regulus added, the corner of his mouth twitching. "You've personally infuriated him. He's torn between ripping you to shreds or completely brainwashing you to use your brilliance in his favor."
Sirius felt some sick satisfaction to know he riled Voldemort up so badly.
"I've done my part for my adopted nephew," Regulus said in a stiff tone. "Maybe you can do the same for your nephew. He's not me. He's nothing like me. He doesn't deserve your indifference because we had ill feelings towards each other. You shouldn't hate him because you hate me. He needs your support now more than ever."
Sirius pressed his tongue against his teeth. He didn't think he was indifferent towards Cepheus. He certainly didn't hate the kid. His nephew seemed to prefer the company of Harry. He thought it was good for the two to bond. Both orphans. Both stuck with Sirius. Both being hunted by a fucking lunatic. But… Sirius supposed he could try harder. He called Harry nightly on the mirror. He couldn't say the same about Cepheus. Sirius sucked in a breath, staring at his kid brother.
"I don't hate Cepheus," Sirius whispered in a sincere tone. "He's a good kid. If Harry was a normal kid, it'd be a lot easier to give him my time and attention. But Harry's not a normal kid. He's a severely abused kid who has the weight of the entire world on his fucking shoulders. I have to put him first in order to keep him alive. But I'll try harder with Cepheus. I'll make more of an effort. I don't want him to think I don't care."
Regulus stepped forward, his chin tilting up to look at Sirius. "Thank you. He doesn't have anyone else. Andromeda has been kind, but he wants that connection with you."
Sirius swallowed, his hands shoving into his pockets. "You should have told me about him. Why didn't you tell me?"
"I thought about it a lot. I wanted to tell you," Regulus admitted. "I wanted to reconcile. But then I heard Potter was having a kid. I knew… I just knew it wouldn't have worked out."
Sirius squinted down at him. "I hated you, because you followed their every order. I hated you, because you parroted their hate speech. I hated you, because I thought you were just as sick and twisted as the rest of them," he admitted, his stomach clenching. "Telling me the truth would have made me realize you were just as stuck as I was. I could have helped you if I had known you were just better at hiding your contempt."
"Hindsight is everything, Sirius," Regulus whispered sadly. "Besides… you're right. I did really believe it for a while," he admitted, his head shaking. "I did believe all the hate speech and I gobbled it all up. I thought, I thought… I don't even know what I thought anymore. But I knew I didn't want to hurt anyone. When I was asked to hurt people… I think I had been naïve. And stupid. I didn't think I'd have to hurt anyone or anything. But I did. I did hurt people, Sirius."
Sirius licked his lip, his gaze turning away. "Yeah, well, I've hurt people too. I've killed people. And I don't feel any remorse. So, I don't know what that says about me."
"I think that might mean you have psychopathic tendencies," Regulus replied in a light tone.
Sirius couldn't help but let out a strangled chuckle. His brother was definitely a little shit.
"I just want you to kill our father for what he did to Cepheus," Regulus said in a thick voice.
Sirius' face pulled. "Don't fucking call him that."
"I've had a lot of time to come to terms with it," Regulus replied with a shrug.
The last thing Sirius wanted to talk about was their biological father. In fact, he didn't even want to think of that cockwomble as his father. He was nothing but a sperm donor that Sirius had the misfortune to be stuck with. The topic in general absolutely disgusted him to no end.
"Sirius," Harry's voice called in the distance.
Sirius stiffened at the voice. The kid sounded panicked and upset. Sirius turned around to look for him, seeing the cliff and his younger self had disappeared. It was replaced with a pitch-black abyss.
"Sirius," Harry's voice said again, his tone pleading.
A beat later, Sirius bolted up in bed. His mind bogged down by a thin gossamer. He blinked around the darkness to see the silhouette of his godson standing in the doorway of the bedroom. A light burst on in the room as Marlene sat up next to him. Sirius saw Harry clearly now. His face drained of color and red seeping out of his nose at an alarming rate.
Pushing the covers aside, Sirius stumbled out of bed. He rushed to Harry's side, titling the kid's head back as he pressed his hand against Harry's nostrils to try to stop the blood. The liquid seeped between his fingers and down his arm. Marlene was by his side in a second, shoving one of his t-shirts at him. Sirius pressed the fabric against Harry's nose, his bloody hands trembling. Harry's body felt like furnace, radiating heat off him in droves.
Harry's body swayed, his shoulder connecting with Sirius' chest. He helped the kid across the room, carrying most of his body weight. Sirius helped Harry sit down on the bed before taking a seat next to him. Harry sagged against him.
"Push him out, Harry," Sirius instructed, rubbing Harry's back.
The minutes dragged on. Sirius' white t-shirt was completely saturated with blood. The moments stretched even longer, but Sirius remained silent to allow Harry to concentrate. Sirius heart beat harsh in his chest, dream Regulus' words echoing in his head like a mantra. He didn't want to hold his breath that this was the last attack before Voldemort moved on to figuring out his next step. That thought both brought him immense relief and a throbbing fear. They were playing games and fucking with Voldemort, poking the Hippogriff in hopes they'd frustrate the hell out of him. The potential retaliation made Sirius sick to his stomach.
Harry finally sagged against him, his fingers weakly grabbing onto Sirius' arm. He pulled the t-shirt away from Harry's face. His nose was no longer gushing blood. He no longer felt like a bloody roaring fire either. Sirius dropped the dirty t-shirt onto the floor before his hand ran through the kid's hair to hold him steady. Harry's heavy breathing sounded loudly in the quiet room.
"I want it to stop," Harry croaked.
A lump caught in Sirius' throat. He didn't know what he could say to make Harry feel better nor did he even know what he could do to make it better.
"Sirius, he lost a lot of blood," Marlene said, her voice on edge. "Do you have any Blood Replenishing Potions?" she asked as she bent down and brushed the back of her hand across Harry's cheek.
"Should we take him to St. Mungo's?" Sirius asked, glancing up at her.
Marlene shook his head. "No, he didn't lose enough for medical intervention," she said as she rubbed her knuckles against Harry's cheek. "Harry, love, are you all right? Do you feel dizzy at all?"
"I'm fine," Harry replied, though he didn't move from Sirius' side.
Sirius looked down, trying to see Harry's face but all he could see was the kid's wild dark hair. His gaze flickered to Marlene to see a deep frown etched into her features.
"I just want to go to bed," Harry admitted, sounding exhausted.
Sirius nodded. "All right. Come on, I'll walk you to your room."
"Sirius…" Marlene trailed off. "Shouldn't we watch him for a bit?"
"Why don't you go grab him that potion? There's a potions cupboard in the kitchen that Andromeda stocked full in case we needed to go into hiding," Sirius suggested as he urged Harry to stand up with him. "I'll meet you in his room."
Sirius kept an arm around Harry's shoulders as he walked with the kid across the hall. Harry seemed steadier on his feet than he had during the attack. Once inside the room, Sirius let go of the kid and directed him to sit on the edge of his bed. Harry complied, his fingers rubbing his eyes.
Sirius disappeared into the loo off Harry's room, grabbing a hand towel and soaking it with water. He then grabbed a clean t-shirt from Harry's wardrobe, tossing it on the bed next to Harry before he handed his godson the towel to clean off the blood.
"Thanks," Harry said as he wiped his face and neck clean before he changed t-shirts.
While there was still smeared blood on him, Harry had cleaned up most of it.
"Anything different or the same as before?" Sirius asked, his arms crossing over his bare chest.
Harry shrugged. "Same, I think. I woke up with a headache and then the attack happened."
Sirius ground his teeth, debating about telling Harry about his little talk with his dead brother. Much to his chagrin, Sirius was fairly positive he was talking to dead people. Harry had never once judged him for anything dealing with his true parentage, so why would he judge him for this?
Sirius cleared his throat. "You know how you can talk to snakes?" he started before he could change his mind.
Harry looked up, blood caked around his mouth and down his neck. "Yeah?"
Sirius sucked in a breath, holding it. "I think I talk to dead people."
"What?" Harry asked, his brows furrowing as he squinted up at Sirius. "What do you mean?"
"There's this… legend or whatever that snakes can slip through the cracks between our world and the underworld," Sirius explained, crossing the room in order to sit next to Harry. "When I was in Azkaban, I was visited by your dad a lot. I always thought I was just going insane from the Dementors. James was always yelling at me to get up and to fight and I just… pretended he wasn't there."
Sirius could feel Harry's eyes on him, but he couldn't look at the kid. He stared at his bloodstained hands in his lap.
"Then, it occurred even after Azkaban," Sirius continued. "I'd wake up from these hyper realistic dreams. Then, then it started happening even when I wasn't sleeping. I thought I had finally cracked. Who the fuck talks to dead people, you know? Then, when Dumbledore found out about my Gaunt family shit, he told me about other rumored abilities the Gaunts had. Talking to dead people is apparently one of them."
"So, you just talk to my dad?" Harry asked in a voice so soft that Sirius wasn't even sure he heard him correctly.
Sirius swallowed, finally turning to look at Harry. "No, I've talked to multiple people. Right before you came into my room, I was talking with Regulus in my dream. He told me that Voldemort thought I was playing games with the mind blocks. He was frustrated and angry. He told me that Voldemort was going to attack the mind blocks one last time before he moved onto other methods to gain the information he sought."
"You think he's telling the truth?" Harry asked, his face pulling.
"When I went to the Riddle Manor to rescue Cepheus, I saw Regulus there. He told me to run," Sirius admitted, his eyebrows tugging down. "We tried. That's when we ran into Malfoy and the others."
"So, you think he's not going to attack the mind blocks again but try something else because you saw Regulus in your dream?" Harry asked, his squinty eyes searching Sirius' face.
"If I'm not completely mental, then yeah," Sirius admitted, reaching out and gripping Harry's knee. "If me talking to dead people is all in my head, then I'm wrong. Maybe certifiably insane, but… I don't know," he said with a shrug.
Before Harry could say anything, Marlene entered the room with a goblet. She handed Harry the goblet and he drank it without complaint.
"You can go back to bed," Sirius said, catching Marlene's eye. "I'm going to stick with Harry for a bit. Make sure he's all right."
"I'm not five, Sirius," Harry complained, sounding like he was indeed a five-year-old.
Marlene bent down, pressing a kiss onto Harry's cheek. "Night, love."
Harry bid her a goodnight as well, a soft smile gracing his tired face. Marlene turned towards Sirius. He reached out, wrapping his fingers around her wrist. He tugged her close to him. Their lips met for a very brief, chaste kiss.
"Night, Marly," Sirius said, giving her wrist a squeeze before letting go.
"Night," she replied with a smile before she turned to leave the room.
Sirius sighed, standing up and motioning for Harry to lay down under the covers. Harry stared at him as he scooted up the bed and crawled under the covers. The kid bit the inside of his cheek as he settled against the mattress.
"So, let me get this straight, reacquainting yourself with your ex-girlfriend involves kissing?" Harry asked, prolonging the conversation.
Sirius did something he never thought he'd do, because he had always rolled his eyes whenever James did it to him. Ignoring his godson's statement, he plopped down onto the bed next to Harry before he drew the covers over both of them.
"Shut it," Sirius said in a light tone, albeit exhausted tone.
"Seriously, Sirius, I'm not five," Harry said. "I don't need my godfather sleeping with me."
Sirius hit his bed against the pillow. "You know, James had this annoying habit when we were kids where he would just barge into my bed and sleep with me whenever he thought I was upset," he explained, folding his hands over his stomach. "We would just talk for hours. Somehow, I always felt better after it. Except, he'd never leave even after we were done talking."
"You thought you'd be annoying like my dad?" Harry asked, amusement clear in his voice. "Please, tell me you're not going to sleep here."
Sirius grinned at the ceiling. "Nah, I'll go back to my bed when you fall asleep. But, yeah, I thought we could talk for a bit, but it's…" he trailed off, glancing over at Harry's clock on his bedside table. "Fuck, it's two in the morning. I can't be arsed to sit up and chat, so you'll have to share for a bit."
"All right, we can talk. How exactly does it work?" Harry asked, his brows lowering on his face. "The whole talking to dead people thing?"
"I don't know, kid," Sirius answered honestly, sighing. "I'm not even sure if it's really happening. It might just be all in my head for all I know."
Harry waved off his concern. "What's it like?"
Sirius stilled at the question. It just bloody well freaked him out more than he could even put into words. It was unnerving. What was dead should stay dead. He shouldn't be talking to anyone who had passed.
"Unsettling," Sirius settled on. "Look, kid, I don't have any answers. It freaks me out just thinking about it."
"But you have an opportunity that other people would kill to have," Harry whispered.
Sirius swallowed, his gut clenching painfully. He'd kill to give Harry the opportunity to talk to his parents. He wished he knew how to bring Harry along with him. Maybe he could connect their consciousness or something. How fucking freaky would that be?
"Let's talk about something else," Sirius suggested.
Harry nodded, the silence stretching between them for a few moments. "We could talk about how you and Marlene are definitely past the reacquainted stage?" Harry suggested, a smile clear in his voice.
Sirius turned his head to look at his godson. "Honestly, I didn't realize how much I missed her and loved her until I tried to stay away from her."
"Why did you stay away?" Harry asked.
"I thought I was protecting her," Sirius admitted, searching his godson's curious face. "I thought she'd be better off being as far away from me as possible."
Harry swallowed visibly. "Sometimes, I think that about Ginny and Ron. That they'd be better off if they just disassociated with me."
"Don't do that, Harry," Sirius insisted. "Even if things go to shit, which they undoubtedly will eventually, don't push them away. You'll only be miserable when it's all over."
"If I even survive," Harry replied in a despondent tone.
Sirius winced. "Don't say that, all right? You're going to get through this. You'll be all right. You're going to grow up and become an Auror and marry Ginny and have a shit ton of kids. I'll make sure of it."
"I just don't want you to die to ensure I live," Harry whispered.
Sirius raised his eyebrows. "Do you worry about that?"
"Sometimes, yeah," Harry admitted. "I think you'd jump in front of a Killing Curse coming at me."
"Well, I can't deny I won't do that," Sirius replied honestly.
Because Sirius would. If he could guarantee Harry was able to live the life he deserved, Sirius wouldn't even have to think about it. He'd sacrifice himself for his godson over and over again.
Harry sighed. "As much as you want me to live the life I want when I'm older, I want you there too living the life you want to. I've grown really accustomed to this. Having a parent," he said, his face scrunching together. "That sounds really pathetic and soppy."
"Nah, it sounds normal," Sirius insisted in a rough voice. "I was really upset when your grandparents died. They treated me like a son. They allowed me to have a voice and express my thoughts. I was young and stupid, thinking I didn't have the right to grieve them. I remember trying to push down my emotions while James cried over their graves. You were in my arms. I insisted that I'd take care of you that day. It was one of the few times you left the safety of the Hollow so it gave me something to focus on besides my own feelings. But, yeah, I had grown accustomed to it too. It… it was awful to have it ripped away from me."
"So, you wouldn't put me through that then," Harry said.
"I'm not looking to die, Harry," Sirius replied in an exhausted tone. "But if only one of us could live, it's going to be you. You have so much more to live for than I do. I want you to be able to have the adulthood that I wasn't able to."
Harry looked away, his gaze resting on the ceiling. "Can we change the subject?"
"What do you have in mind?" Sirius asked.
The silence dragged between them. It wasn't awkward but rather comfortable. Like the two of them had somehow managed to work through a bunch of their fears and insecurities to get to a healthy place where silence wasn't deafening.
A shit-eating grin crossed Harry's face. "We can talk about how you're in denial that you're dating Marlene," he said, his head turning once more.
Sirius let out a long sigh.
"She's spent every single night here since I've been here," Harry argued. "In your bed. I'm just happy you two weren't naked when I walked in."
"Yeah, well, keep that in mind if Ginny is ever sleeping over here," Sirius snapped. "I don't want to see anything either."
That shut Harry right up, the kid pressing his lips tightly together. Sirius let out a bark-like laugh.
"I know how to lock a bloody door," Sirius commented, a genuine smile crossing his face. "So, knock if it's locked. That should be a part of the talk with you. Lock the door, please."
"If you're going to give me this talk again, just get out," Harry replied with a groan.
"Trust me, I think Marly did that job spectacularly the other morning," Sirius told him. "No further talks are needed. But, seriously, remember the spell is cast before you… you know," he added with a wave of his hand. "Because that's how you came to be."
Harry's face pulled, his face reddening. "I already know I was an accident. Can we not get into details of why?"
"You were just the most pleasant little surprise," Sirius said, talking to Harry in a baby voice.
Harry rolled his eyes, his eyes sliding shut. "No baby is a mistake. Yeah, yeah, I know."
"You were cute as a baby," Sirius added. "You had so much bloody hair. Lily kept telling everyone you were going to lose it all but you oddly never did. It just grew more and more unruly. I think the Potters were cursed, because every single Potter I have ever met could not get their hair to lie bloody flat."
"I don't even try anymore," Harry admitted, his eyes still closed. "It used to make Petunia angry."
"Well, Petunia's a bint so who cares what she thinks?" Sirius replied.
Harry let out a sleepy chuckle. "Hopefully, my kids inherit Ginny's hair."
Sirius' eyes roamed across Harry's face. "I don't know. I could imagine some crazy-haired redheads running around. I like the thought that there'd be a little carbon copy of you running around too," he said fondly, imagining a life where Voldemort was dead and everyone was just happy. "Just not anytime soon, remember?"
"You say that but at the same time it sounds like you want to be Grandpa Sirius sooner rather than later," Harry commented, snuggling down deeper under the duvet.
Sirius stared at Harry, his breath hitching in his throat. He had never really thought about what Harry's kids would call him. He only knew he wanted to be a part of it all. The thought of him having that role in Harry's kids' lives made him feel equal parts excited and guilty at the same time. It should have been James, not him. But he'd be damned if he wasn't there for those kids in the same way he was there for Harry now.
Harry's breathing evened out. Sirius waited a few moments, just staring at the kid. In that moment, Sirius made a silent vow. He was going to ensure they both made it out of the war alive. Sirius just didn't know how he was going to accomplish that.
As quietly as he could, Sirius eased out of Harry's bed. He padded quietly across the room, closing the door softly behind him. Crossing the hall, Sirius made his way into his bedroom to see Marlene curled up underneath the covers.
"Hmm, he okay?" Marlene asked in a sleepy voice.
Sirius slid into bed next to her, pressing his front against her back. Wrapping an arm around her, he tugged her closer to him. His lips pressed against her shoulder.
"Yeah, he's calmed down and sleeping now," Sirius replied.
Marlene's hand rubbed along his arm around her. She hummed again, her nails tickling his arm. Soon, her fingers ceased in the rhythmic motion. But Sirius couldn't join her in sleep. His brain wouldn't shut off as thoughts and feelings assaulted him from every single crevice. Pressing his nose into Marlene's shoulder, he couldn't help but think about how the war was going to end and how he was going to make sure they all survived it.
Hope you enjoyed the latest chapter! It's definitely the calm before the storm! Don't forget to drop a review. They keep me motivated to keep chugging along!
There will be no chapter next week due to the holiday. Happy Easter to all those who celebrate!
Special thanks to prewettpotter for all her suggestions. She's fabulous!