The Hobbit and Lord of the Rings belongs to JRR Tolkien and the movies belong to Peter Jackson. I'm just a devoted fan.

Here's another Bilbo-centric chapter! Like I said, there are going to be some chapters revolving around him (not too many but some). There's just some events better portrayed through his POV. Also, your feels will hurt with joy and pain and other various emotion this chapter. Mine did when I was writing.

Thank you all so much for the love. Whenever I get a notification of a review or alert my pride swells :)

A Confession to Make

When the night has come and the land is dark

And the moon is the only light we see

No, I won't be afraid, oh, I won't be afraid

Just as long as you stand, stand by me

- Ben E. King, "Stand by Me"

Bilbo did not fancy the idea of being eaten by trolls tonight, and he was quite positive the rest of the company did not plan on being roasted alive either. Many of the dwarves were tied onto the roasting spit, being turned continuously like sausages. Himself and the rest of the dwarves were tied up in burlap sacks awaiting their doom. Bilbo felt like he had failed in rescuing the ponies, failed in fighting the nasty trolls and now he was truly useless, more so than the rest of the captured dwarves.

Upon realizing that the sole female of their party was in fact a lady, this piqued the hungry interest of the trolls as they debated how best to season and prepare the woman for eating. Setting her far away from the males as to "not spoil the meat", Relly was the only one not in a cloth sack. However, the thief was bound by the feet and hands and currently being clutched by the mighty fist of a troll. Her mouth was also gagged, rendering her unable to talk. Bilbo actually felt quite sorry for her.

"Relly!" Ori would occasionally cry out, for every time he was spun to the top of the roasting spit he would see the terrified expression of the half-Hobbit's face, squirming and writhing to no avail. "I'd kill all you trolls if I had my slingshot!"

"Shut up Ori," Nori grunted, having given up on struggling free and then sneezed as one of the troll brothers sprinkled salt and pepper over them.

"What shall we do about the female?" Bert the troll asked his brothers, "We haven't got all night to cook 'em. I don't fancy being turned to stone."

The idea struck Bilbo. They must be stone trolls, he concluded as his eyes widened to a small, possible plan inside that bright head of his. Before he could continue to concentrate, the trolls once again had his attention.

Tom's beady eyes travelled to the form of the tied up Relly in his clutches. "Perhaps we save her for dessert. Mmm," and Tom brought the female up to his large nostril, Bilbo wanting to gag after what happened to him when he got that close to a troll's nose. But the delightful look on Tom's face soured as he yanked the female away from his nose, Relly making choking sounds.

"What's wrong, brother?" as William cranked the wheel of the spit, more dwarves groaning from the heat and the pain. "Is she not tasty?"

Relly grunted in pain, her ribs close to cracking as Tom gripped the thief in his hand, narrowing his eyes at her as he smelled her once again. "The female smells...well, she smells not like what she is. Perhaps she's rotten."

Bilbo had to do something before Relly became dessert or worse. "Wait!" he yelled loudly so the trio of trolls heard him. "You are making a huge mistake!"

Bert, Tom and William all went "Huh?" at the same time, momentarily stopping the cooking of Thorin Oakenshield's company. Tom released his grip on Relly, Bilbo feeling slightly relieved at that. "What sort of trick are you playing?"

The bachelor Hobbit wildly shook his head, trying to appear like he wasn't attempting to trick the half-wits. "No no, you're going about the seasoning all wrong. All off, I'm telling you!"

"What about the seasoning?" William asked suspiciously, not appearing to be a complete dunderhead as Bilbo had hoped.

Bilbo cocked an eyebrow at his captors, tilting his head to direct the trolls' attention at the dwarves in sacks. "Hah, well, have you smelled them? If you think she smells horrible, just wait til you get to the men. You'll need a lot more than sage and rosemary to prepare them for dinner."

A collective offensive sigh was heard from all of the dwarves, including the loudest one from Thorin. Relly let out a muffled sound of what appeared to be 'HEY!' or something close. Bilbo remained as level-headed as he could be, not wanting to upset either party or else his plan would be ruined.

"What would a Hobbit know about cooking dwarves?" the troll asked him before being interrupted by his brother, allowing Bilbo to fully explain how to cook dwarves.

Bilbo paused, sucking in his breath a few times as his eyes danced from the ground to his captive companions and to the night sky above him, quickly glanced at poor tied up Relly, her eyes not showing her usual mischief but now revealing a state of vulnerability. The trolls bugged him for an answer and he had to think of something fast.

"Ah well, the uh...secret to cooking dwarf is to...well, you kind of have to..." he hesitated every few words, listening to the shouts and cries of the men behind him, "You have to skin them first. Alive. Best preserves the flavor."

Skin them? What was I thinking? They might actually do that! he cursed. It didn't help that all the dwarves were now sent into a panic, having to fear the looming possibility of having their flesh seared while alive. However, out the corner of his eyes he saw a flash of grey, a staff and he knew Gandalf was approaching. All he had to do was stall for time.

"And the female?" Bert wasn't quite done with Bilbo yet, Tom still grasping the girl in his fist as Relly writhed from the pressure of the troll's giant hand. "What do you s'pose is the best way to cook her?"

He did not expect to have to answer that question. Relly's eyes pleaded to him, the thief's expression far from any emotion of mischief or annoyance with him. Relly's life was dependent on his ability to stall the trolls until sunrise and save everyone's lives. "For her...I...uh, well, she's very bony," he remembered how she scarfed down those potatoes at Bag End, "and hardly has any meat on her so I would not recommend eating her as a meal. Maybe grind her bones into bread for fiber."

"What a load of rubbish," Bert accused Bilbo of lying. "Those sacks of hers could provide some meat."

Bilbo hastily blinked, knowing what the troll meant by 'sacks' and restrained himself from turning pink. This was not the time to be embarrassed over body parts, he had to make sure body parts weren't eaten! He heard Relly attempt to scream with a gagged mouth at both the trolls and Bilbo, his time running out fast. "No no, those are the last things you want to eat. It's all...fat and you can't do much with fat."

"He's right Bert," Tom somewhat agreed, "I smell some human in this one. She's not juicy plump like him."

Bilbo was not plump, he was just the right size thank you very much. However, this was not the time or place to debate that as Bilbo was surprised by what the troll revealed. The gag that prevented Relly from yelling before had become loose and she was finally able to scream, "NO!"

"H-human?" he let out, not sure how to respond to that one. "No, no, she's Hobbit. You're probably just smelling-"

"I've eaten dwarf with their skins on and with bacon, they tasted fine," Bert disagreed, getting very angry at the false advice Bilbo was providing.

"I like 'em raw!" Tom finally came up to the remaining dwarves in their sacks and with his other hand plucked Bombur from the ground, dangling the fattest dwarf above his mouth. Relly was screaming obscenities that could make Bilbo blush. Before Tom could drop Bombur into his maw, Bilbo came up with a much better excuse.

"No no! He's infected! He's got the worms."

Relly nodded vigorously at Bilbo's claim, making a gagging noise for the extra effect and complaining of worms in her tummy as the trolls looked on with disbelief. "Infected with worms?!"

Bilbo confirmed. "Yes... in his tubes." Nothing more needed to be said as the fat dwarf landed back onto the pile of his brethren, thankful for not being eaten. Bilbo felt confident that his stalling was going to prevail. He decided to run with the idea even further. "Yes, they all have it. Lots of parasites. She does too...in her sacks," he glanced at Relly, wanting to see if she'd follow suit. The dwarves weren't quite on his level yet, all of them complaining that they did not have parasites. Bilbo noticed the only one quiet was in fact their leader Thorin as he shook violently to grab everyone's attention.

"I've got parasites as big as my arm!" "I have them down there!" "My tubes are crawling with worms!"

Bilbo internally smiled, relieved that at least the dwarves finally realized what he was doing. He looked up at Relly, hoping she understood too.

"Oh yes. Tons of worms. I'm a nasty Hobbit," she played along, her voice now clear.

Tom did not look so fooled this time around. "I smell the blood of a man in you, don't lie to me you little treat!" and he clenched her tighter, the poor thief coughing up spit from the pain. "I'll squeeze the juices dry outta this one."

Relly let out a frightened gasp, squirming back and forth in a futile attempt to break free. "I am a Hobbit, don't know where you smell the man from. I am with a bunch of men!" she spoke between ragged breaths.

"What would you have us do then, Hobbit?" Bert sneered at Bilbo. "Let them go?"

Very much so, Bilbo thought, cracking a half-smile on his face as his over-confidence in this situation was barreling dangerously close to failure. "Ah well..."

Tom was the most impatient of his brothers as he took over the reigns of spinning the roasting spit with one hand, increasing the pressure of his grip around Relly as he glared at the thief. "That ferret is taking us for a fool! We need to go back to dinner," and he raised Relly above the fire. "Perhaps we'll see what she's made of when she pops like corn."

She let out a bloodcurdling primal scream, having never been this close to danger or death in her life. Bilbo gulped, his throat going dry as he saw her slowly being crushed by the weight surrounding her. Gandalf, please, show up! he begged to himself, knowing the wizard was around the corner. But would it be too late? Time for him to improvise and use his very last resort to save Relly Crillynook's life.

"No! You can't eat her just yet. I..." Bilbo's eyes pretended to grow glassy with unbridled emotion, clutching both his hands even though the sack covered his gesture. The trolls and Relly all turned their heads to look at Bilbo. "I have a confession to make. If I can just tell Relly how much I lo-"

Luckily, Bilbo did not have to actually go through with a fake love confession as he stopped mid-sentence to see the grey wizard in the distance. Gandalf appeared on top of the divergence of the rocks in front of them, carrying the dawn of the sun behind him like a harbinger of glory and freedom. Relief washed over the brave Hobbit, glad he was able to keep the trolls at bay from eating his friends while Gandalf arrived.

"And the dawn shall take you all!" Gandalf cracked the boulders with one mighty slam of his staff, the sunlight breaking through much to the terror of the trolls and to the glee of the captives.

Relly was released from the troll's clutches. She dropped to ground, finally free as she wriggled her wrists out of the tight rope that bound her. "Gandalf!" she yelled out happily, even though her voice sounded a bit hoarse from that one scream she let out.

Bilbo was more than relieved. He had contributed to saving the company, including the life of Thorin Oakenshield. He hoped that with this act, maybe the dwarf king would finally respect him a bit. After all, he and Relly were the latest additions to the party and although Relly seemed to be in high favor among many of the dwarves, she still suffered the same lack of faith from Thorin.

Half an hour later, everyone was finally free from their sacks as Dori suggested that perhaps the sacks would be good for holding more things and even sleeping bags. Okay, maybe not sleeping bags due to them being wrapped up in them for hours on end in torture but travelling bags was a fair idea. Bilbo was approached by Gloin, Dori and Ori and was thanked for his quick thinking and abilities.

"You are impressive in your ability to distract enemies," Dwalin commended Bilbo.

"Oh, well, it's nothing. I knew Gandalf was coming, I just had to keep them at bay." Still, it was nice to receive some recognition. He basked in it until he saw Relly out the corner of his eye. She was talking to her two favorite dwarves Bofur and Ori, and he couldn't help but feel annoyed that she had not thanked him yet. He almost had to confess fake feelings for her, that was difficult enough considering he was not fond of her like he knew Ori was. He saw Relly laugh at something Bofur said while Ori looked at her like he almost lost her from being crushed. Ori was definitely harboring a crush on the thief.

Relly left her friends as she broke off from the group of happily reunited dwarves, looking for something on the ground. Curious, Bilbo snuck up behind her. He could be quiet and tricky if he put his mind to it. She crouched down, picking up something made of cloth. Then she found something and Bilbo saw it was his fork. The one she stole from his house.

"Hey!" Relly shouted but her voice was so hoarse it was actually kind of funny to Bilbo. Granted, she had just screamed bloody murder for a good reason but he couldn't help but find it humorous.

"No, it's mine. You stole it from me therefore it is still mine," he corrected her, trying to yank his fork back from her. His hand brushed up against her thumb, causing the thief to let go of the silver utensil, her fingers arching in the shape of a claw as if she rejected the light touch.

"But I rightfully stole it from you," she pouted lightly.

Her words sparked something in Bilbo as he let go of the fork. Using some of the leftover confidence from earlier, he handed the fork back to her, his head cocked to the right as a faint smug smile stretched his face. "Then I'll give it to you as a present. Now you can't say you stole it from me because it's officially now a gift."

Relly frowned in confusion, not quite understanding what he meant. "I...what? But I stole this from you, you can't just say you gave it to me."

"You may have rightfully stole it from me but it's still rightfully mine. So yes, this fork is a gift. Considering I helped make sure you weren't popped corn, the least a proper Hobbit should do is show thanks."

The half-Hobbit woman hesitated, shoving the fork down her cloak pocket before she yanked it back out. "I don't really want it anymore anyway," she muttered, returning the fork back to Bilbo as she turned away from him, Bilbo not seeing the bright red streak that crossed her face. He held the fork in his hand, observing it long after Relly left the clearing. Since when did a thief return stolen goods? Smiling to himself, he was glad his little trick resolved the case of the stolen fork. But the good feeling didn't last very long as he stood up from the ground and once again saw Relly conversing with Bofur and Ori.

His face suddenly paled as the realization came from nowhere and nearly slammed him into mental submission. He remembered. Or rather, he pieced it all together. The troll had only confirmed it for him.

Relly was half-human, half-Hobbit.

Yay, they're free from the trolls! I hope I'm not dragging this story out too long, I tend to be a bit slow with building relationships. However, this chapter should be the first of many that hint at some feelings ;) As always, let me know your thoughts. Is Bilbo in character? That's a biggie for me!