The Hobbit and Lord of the Rings belongs to JRR Tolkien and the movies belong to Peter Jackson. I'm just a devoted fan.

Yay, I'm glad you all liked the chapter. Thorin's not the easiest character to write as so I'm glad his dialogue sounded believable! Check me out at my tumblr, pheniaphile . tumblr . com (delete the spaces) I'll be posting all my excess feels and moments that are not quite in the fic yet soooo yeah.

I really want to stress that the romance in this story is SLOW to build. Trust me, it will pay off. I have mentioned this before and it worries me that some reviewers keep demanding for romance. If you want instant lovey dovey stuff, then go find another fic. I like developing feelings rather than writing hot make out sessions (then again, who doesn't like hot make out sessions but I digress). Especially with canon character/oc stories, I don't want this fic to fall into that horrid 'two chapters and dey wuvs each oter!' sort of thing. It's terribly OOC, poor writing and Bilbo deserves much better than that, haha.

The Tale of Dworin and Agnu

She sleeps: on either hand upswells

The gold-fringed pillow lightly prest:

She sleeps, nor dreams, but ever dwells

A perfect form in perfect rest.

- Lord Tennyson, "The Sleeping Beauty"

Relly was everything and nothing at the same time. The insides of her mouth were raw, lips chapped and she could taste her horrid bad breath inside her mouth, gurgling noises in her ear like some strange sort of liquid sloshing around in her noggin. A soft dull throbbing could be felt in every corner of her head, not painful but it was hard to ignore the throbbing. The odd part was, she could not feel a single part of her body besides her head. Relly was drifting in the planes of unconsciousness and sleep, not sure where exactly to pinpoint her current state. Her entire form felt fuzzy, hard to distinguish where her arms or legs or toes were. It was just mixed in with all this black around her.

Am I dead? Relly asked herself in the eternal darkness, a small light in the shape of a frame of a doorway forming in what seemed like forever and a half away from wherever, whatever she was. She willed herself to follow the illuminated doorway, feeling the warmth of the sun's rays on her face and the clouded darkness faded away as cracks of light filtered through her eyelids.

Her hazel eyes weakly opened to the dying evening sun setting. The sun! So she wasn't dead after all. Relly turned her head sideways to see the corner of the sheets hit her cheek. She was covered in sheets that felt like butter. The comforter was velvety, the sheets were shimmery and this bed was unlike any sort of bed she had ever slept on before. To be honest, this was probably the nicest bed Relly slept in since she left Hobbiton all those years ago.

"Where am I?" she whispered to no one and expected no answer. She got one anyway.

"Oh good, you are awake. I will alert my Lord Elrond," a slim male elf with long brown hair and an inquisitive face saw she had stirred from her deep coma-like sleep as the other elf stood guard, sitting in a beautiful curved bench.

"El...rond?" she muttered, raising her neck up so she prop her head on the soft pillow as to get a better look at her new surroundings. Relly immediately realized she had just spoken words and was already pleased that her voice had healed. A strained smile stretched on her face, being shushed by the female elf in the room to not make any sudden movements. "Is Elrond the name of this place?"

"No, m'lady," the female elf spoke. "You are in Imladris, or Rivendell in the common tongue. The last Elven house east of the sea," her voice sounded like liquid gold being poured into a tall glass; so feminine. Relly thought her mother had a beautiful voice but this female elf might just have her mother beat. "I am Briwen and Lindir has been tasked with watching over you until you woke."

"Where's the company? I was travelling with a bunch of dwarves and Gandalf and-," Relly's words tumbled from her mouth until she was interrupted.

The female elf shook her head, a soothing hush escaping her lips as she patted the sheets that covered Relly. "They are all here, m'lady. I believe they have been aching to see you."

Relly sputtered out a weak chuckle. "Some more than others."

The male elf Relly now knew as Lindir returned to Relly's resting room with another elf in tow. However, this one elf commanded the presence of everyone in the room as Relly looked up to see the serious but welcoming look on his face. He was definitely important.

"I am Elrond, the Lord of Rivendell and the host of your company's stay in my refuge," he introduced himself coolly but politely as Relly nodded, never having been addressed so fancily before. "I hope you are feeling well and restored to great health and spirits, Rellanora Crillynook of the Shire."

"W-wait," she stuttered, her face paling when she heard her full first name. She hadn't told anyone about that! She hadn't even known this elf for five minutes and he already knew her name? Something was up. "How did you know..."

Elrond responded with, "Gandalf disclosed the matter of your heritage to me as soon as you arrived into the healing room. Do not fear me Rellanora, for I do not pass judgement upon those with the blood of Man in their veins. For you see, I too have an intertwined heritage. To deny the blood of Eärendil in my body is to deny my full existence. Denial is merely another form of rejection and prejudice, traits I do not wish to impose onto any other living being."

So Gandalf did know all along, or at least figured it out himself. The news did not exactly comfort Relly like she thought it would as she pulled the covers up to her chin, feeling embarrassed and shocked to learn this amazingly handsome elf was of mixed blood like her. It was not an easy subject to discuss but the fact this venerable lord had already revealed his own heritage did help her come to terms, just a little bit. So he's kind of like me. He's a lot better looking, that's for sure.

"Can I get up now?" she asked impatiently. A faint smile appeared on the elf lord's face as Elrond bowed out of the room and allowed his servant Lindir to give the go ahead for Relly to finally rise out of her covers.

"I picked out the dress you are wearing," Briwen beamed with her unworldly beauty, Relly not used to being surrounded by gorgeous people. "I designed it myself. I had to alter it to your...ahem, measurements."

Relly's jaw was slightly agape, looking down at her new outfit. She was horrified to learn someone undressed her while she was out cold. "I cannot wear a dress!" she placed her feet on the floor of the healing room, still sitting on the side of the luxurious bed as she looked down at her toes. Clean. Her legs were still hairy and Relly tugged down at the sheer green dress, wanting to hide her unsightly legs. Being a Hobbit, a human and having black hair equaled unattractive body hair. "Give me my pants!"

Briwen sighed, her lower lip sticking out a little. "But it looks so nice on you. I think the company you travel with has forgotten you are a woman. Those gross, burping dwarves-,"

Relly rolled her eyes and cut off Briwen before she could go on a tirade about how smelly they were. "I. Want. My. Own. Clothes," she stressed the words between gritted teeth.

Briwen made an 'oh' shape with her mouth as Lindir stood there awkwardly, not sure what to respond to Relly's little outburst. "I'll go wash them," she gave up and left the healing room to go find the clothes she was wearing when she arrived to Rivendell. Fifteen minutes later Briwen arrived back to the healing room with the tunic, cloak, suspenders and britches neatly folded and set them down on the bed as she undid the silk tapestries that acted as blinds, turning the airy open chamber into a private dressing room for Relly to change. Although her cloak could never be truly clean due to twenty years of stains, travel and literally sleeping in it, the cloak felt softer and smelled of waterfalls and dragonflies. Well, if dragonflies even had a real scent but nonetheless her clothes just smelled almost new.

"Lady Relly, you are invited to dinner. Certainly your friends will be glad to see you," Lindir waited until she was finished changing as he re-entered the healing room with his arm held out for the fair maiden to be escorted. Relly pushed past him, only to get lost a few corridors away from the healing room. Shaking his head, Lindir directed Relly to the dining area of Rivendell.

"Where's my rapier?" Relly demanded to know where her rapier was. Lindir frowned for he did not know the answer as he anxiously escorted her to the patio in which her fellow dwarves and Bilbo were eating.

Relly finally allowed herself to relax as she graced everyone at the dinner table with her presence, a curved smile adorning her face as she waited for her fellow dwarves to notice her.

"Relly!" Ori chirped, setting down his giant leaf and almost leaping out of his seat as the thirteen other dwarves turned around and were pleasantly surprised. Bofur winked at her in a friendly manner as Kili popped out of his seat and waved to her as his brother Fili bowed his head in acknowledgement.

Note to self, remember to ask them for more training practice, she eyed the brothers while she looked for an empty seat at the crowded table.

"Miss Relly!" "Ah good, the lass is awake. Maybe she can eat my greens." "Huh what's happening I can't hear you all!"

Relly let out a small giggle, one much more cute than her usual scratchy chuckle. Whatever she had been given while she was unconscious must have helped soothe her sore throat and perhaps the whole airiness of Rivendell was bringing out her feminine qualities.

I wonder if there's anything I can take from here as a "memento", she devilishly thought as her gaze travelled to a lovely crafted drinking goblet on the table. That'd be a nice addition.

"Good. I was worried you would not wake up," Balin told her as the white haired dwarf set down his fork and dimples formed on his wrinkled face. Sitting next to the wise dwarf was Bilbo, whose eyes travelled up to Relly in mild surprise. Relly averted her glance to Bombur and Dori, finding a seat between the two of them as Dori poured her some water from the carafe and fussed over her like she were his little sister.

"Miss Relly, perhaps you should show Lord Elrond your rapier?" Fili suggested as he pointed to the far end of the table where the Lord of Rivendell, Gandalf the Grey and Thorin Oakenshield were all gathered at.

Relly's content smile twisted into the frown she wore minutes earlier upon learning that her rapier had been taken from her. Pursing her lips together, she took a swig of water as she got up from her seat and approached the trio of important figures with a determined look on her face. Gandalf tilted his head at Relly, already knowing what she was about to ask as she folded her arms across her chest.

"So she also found this rapier in the troll horde?" Elrond clarified as Relly spotted her lovely rapier in the hands of the elf lord, Relly reaching out her hand. "I...cannot believe this." He gingerly traced the curve of the hilt with his index finger, gazing at the inscription on the inside of the hilt as he muttered a single word under his breath. "Vancarmiel."

Relly cleared her throat. "Van-whatty-el?" she didn't quite catch that. She disliked it when others decided to speak in different tongues; it made her feel out of the loop and uncomfortable.

Elrond raised a simple brow at her as he gently handed Relly back her rapier. "Vancarmiel. 'Beautifully created'. This rapier was forged in the honor of Elenwë, the wife of Turgon."

I have no idea who Elenwë or Turgon are, Relly admitted to herself due to her lack of knowledge concerned famous elves in history, but my weapon has a name! Even if it sounds weird. I'll just name it something else to my liking.

"I do not think it is best for her to carry it," Thorin decided to add his input to the conversation, not entirely sure it was the best idea for Relly to keep her own named weapon. "Not until she can learn to wield it. I do not want you to foolishly charge into battle with half an idea of how to fight."

Relly groaned. Thorin was the eternal rain on her sunny day, the one dwarf she somehow could not get to remotely like her. Didn't he just tell her to prove her worth to him? How was she supposed to when he kept putting up obstacles in her path? The black haired quarterling nodded at Thorin as she made her way back to the dinner table, throwing a glance to Bilbo who kept his hand on the handle of his little sword.

Toothpick, she smiled to herself as she heard Balin tell Bilbo to not waste the time to ask the elf lord; his sword was nothing more than a letter opener. Relly saw disappointment wash across Bilbo's face when he heard Balin's remark. His is a letter opener. I've got the toothpick.

It finally clicked.

"I'll name mine Toothpick," she loudly christened her rapier as she unsheathed it and showed it to Kili and Fili again, asking the brothers if they would help train her so she could fight with her rapier. They eagerly agreed as Relly slid her rapier back into its sheath.

"Toothpick?" Bilbo's ears perked up, turning his head down towards the table as Relly. "You are seriously going to name yours Toothpick?" He would never understand her inner mental mechanics. Bilbo's sword wasn't even worth naming and yet somehow the immature master thief obtained an honorable weapon up near the ranks of Gandalf and Thorin's new swords. Simply put, it was not fair.

Relly placed both her hands on her hips, forgetting about her vegetarian meal on her untouched plate. "I'll name it whatever I want to name it!"

"No arguing at the dinner table!" One of the elven musicians stopped playing her harp for a moment to scold Relly and then resumed her dainty solo. Relly felt her eyes roll back into her head as she sat down, grumbling to herself as she shoved a forkful of leafy greens in her mouth. Relly was so hungry that she didn't care if her meal was basically rabbit food. Ori, Oin, Bofur and Bifur looked at her in bemusement, not believing their female companion was actually eating the food the elves served them as "dinner".

"How can you eat that?" Ori asked her suspiciously, for he didn't like anything that wasn't meat.

"S'good for you or something," Relly said in between chews, ignoring the growing disapproval on the face of Bilbo Baggins across from her. First Toothpick and now her eating habits? What was he, her mother?

Excluding Gandalf, Balin, Thorin and oddly enough Bilbo, the rest of Thorin Oakenshield's company had gathered around a small campfire in one of the multiple airy chambers in Rivendell. Bofur was tossing scraps of the meat he had tucked away for their journey into his brother's mouth. Bombur happily chomped up each bite; for a dwarf so fat he had some amazing reflexes. Bifur had gestured that maybe the greens would taste better if roasted over a fire as he held a bunch of the leafy vegetables to try and test his theory. Bofur was about to eat a bite of the cooked sausage on the stick until he got the grand idea of throwing it over to Bombur again.

"Bombur, catch!" and the sausage flew in the air, above Relly's head as Bombur gleefully caught it, only for the stone bench he sat on to crack under pressure and broke, Bombur's bum hitting the ground as Relly narrowly avoided being hit with stone debris or being crushed under Bombur's body.

Bofur, Dori and the rest of the company broke out into unbridled laughter, with the exception of their sole female member. I really have blended into the group, she remembered what Briwen said to her earlier this evening, I'm not a lady. This had never bothered her before. Frankly, she wasn't sure why the matter troubled her. Bofur told her off-color jokes and Nori had some brash behavior too. Being around men, she heard all the burps and farts. The only one who even treated her like she was a girl was Ori and his eldest brother Dori. However, they were still dwarves so the bodily noises didn't skip them out.

Relly did not know how to act ladylike. She never had to resort to feminine wiles or use sensual appeal to make a living. Relly did not really know how to act, well, girly. Her mother had tried to hammer dainty manners and coquettish charm as a young girl but once she died Relly reverted to her wild, mischievous behavior in order to survive outside Hobbiton. Her attitude had been useful for living on her own and it probably explained why she felt so strange in dresses and girlish clothing.

"Relly?" She blinked out of her thoughts as she heard Ori say her name.

"Yes?"

"Do you want to hear a story?" Ori's eyes were bright, the reds and oranges of the burning fire in front of them glinting in his eyes. She couldn't say no to him.

"Is it the tale of Dworin and Agnu?" Dori asked, knowing where this was headed. He grabbed a chunk of stone bench and sat down next to his baby brother, wanting to hear the story in Ori's words. "A lovely one, Miss Relly would like it."

Relly scrunched her lips to the side, not sure what exactly prompted the sudden story time. She knew by now the dwarves loved to tell tales but why this particular time at night? Dwarves are strange.

"Ah no, not that one. Why not 'Far Over The Misty Mountains'?" Dwalin shook his head, preferring a more masculine, less romance-centered ballad.

"Relly's already heard that one," Bofur reminded Dwalin as the pipe smoking dwarf rested his elbow on his knee, a grin growing on his face as he looked at Relly and then Ori. "Come on lad, sing us the tale of Dworin and Agnu."

Ori sheepishly nodded as he exchanged a tense look with Relly, the boyish dwarf standing up from his seat as he meshed his fingers together and cleared his throat in order to sing.

"Come on we haven't got all night!" Nori prompted his brother as Ori finally got the kick he needed to begin his tale.

Far away in caverns under the mountain cold

Lived Dworin the Mighty, the Stonecrusher, the bold.

Dworin fought many an enemy with strength untold

But his moons were waning and he was nearing old.

.

He learned of Agnu, maiden of the land of air

Her skin so pale and moon-night in her hair.

Autumn eyes and soft lips framed her face

For Agnu was truly the image of beauty and grace.

.

Dworin the Mighty desired this treasure

For gold, crowns and jewels never brought him such pleasure.

The women in his kingdom had none of his care

For he sought maiden Agnu so lovely and fair.

.

The lord of the mountain and the maiden of light

Upon kismet meeting their passion did ignite

Red-lipped, beautiful and tall where Agnu stand

Dworin declared his honor and life for her hand.

.

But there lived a dwarf in deceitful trade and twisted fate

Lord Gwalin the Gall formed jealousy of Dworin from his hate.

Gwalin sought fair Agnu as his land's rightful queen

In the midst of midnight he stole the maiden in manner unseen.

.

With Agnu by his side, Gwalin the Gall set forth his dark plot

To give false word to Agnu that Dworin, about her, he forgot

In a battle against Gwalin, Dworin the Mighty was unjustly slew

Agnu lead to believe his devotion to her proved untrue.

.

With an elixir Agnu vowed to sleep until he would return

For her heart towards Dworin the dead did it yearn.

She put the poison to her lips and drew a single breath

The maiden sought refuge in one step from death.

.

And forever on will Dworin rest and Agnu sleep

The lord of the mountain and the lady of his keep.

Nothing on Arda could Aulë form, forge or create

That would ever separate the lovers from their imperturbable fate.

.

When Ori finished singing the melody, he quickly sat back down on his seat as the rest of the company as his brothers, cousins and fellow companions all sat around in meaningful thought. He puffed out his chest a little, as if to boast that he could produce a stirring song like any of his friends could.

Relly had never heard of such a depressing, tragic story before. Being a practical person not concerned with paramours or tangled love triangles, she did not understand why Agnu could even possibly believe the lie Gwalin told her. If it were me I wouldn't believe a single word Gwalin said, she thought to herself. Out the corner of her eye she saw the leaning figure of Bilbo against a column— how long had he been there? — and judging by the mild cloudiness in his dark eyes, he had listened to Ori sing the tale of the two lovers. What a sop, she snorted at the image of Bilbo crying over love songs.

To be fair, she may have felt her eyes almost water at one point. Not that she'd admit it. Her eyebrows were pinched at the combating thoughts that pitted her desire to be feminine versus her mind telling it was rather absurd to even worry about something so trivial.

"I wouldn't have suggested that tale to lighten the mood," Gloin commented, the father dwarf chewing on a near-gone piece of mutton as he shot a look at Master Baggins.

"That was a fascinating tale, Ori is it?" Bilbo asked, Ori nodding at his name as Bilbo approached the tight knit company of dwarves. "Tragically meaningful if I can say."

Relly folded her arms, stretching her legs on a small piece of stone rubble from Bombur's broken bench as she drooped her head a bit, a small 'hn' sound escaped her mouth. "For romantic fools, maybe."

Ori looked a little hurt by her remark, Bifur making a gesture with his hand as it glided across his neck, to suggest she was ruining the moment. Bofur nodded as the dwarf with the twirly hat changed seats and placed himself next to his dear female friend. "I may be just a simple toymaker who enjoys a good mug of ale every now and then-,"

"Every day!" Bombur cut in, Bofur shaking his head and mouthing quietly 'Not now brother'. Bofur would never finish his sentence.

"What is the cause for all the quiet?" Thorin Oakenshield's voice served as a rescue for Relly as she backed out of from the presence of Bofur and slipped away when Balin also made his appearance to the crew as Thorin returned to his company. Relly's action did not go unnoticed by Bilbo, curious as to why the slippery thief felt uncomfortable when attention was focused on her.

Her bare feet were carrying her to the open spaced small palaces further away from where her dwarf friends had set up camp. Pressing herself against a column or wall whenever she saw an elf pass by, Relly slunk by without a sound as the thief kept an eye out in the dark. Every now and then she would creep into an empty bed chamber or small study and pocket something. She was in her element once more, fluidly sneaking around in the night. So far she had pocketed a silver brooch lying on a carved night stand and a gilded hair comb. Nothing major but Relly remembered the velvet pouch she found with the rubies so it was at least a little something. With these two objects she slipped into her cloak, nestling it between the fabric doll and the pouch in her pocket. Her thoughts went to the silver fork but immediately remembered Bilbo tricked her out of it.

"Figures, that you're skulking around."

Relly nearly tripped mid step, not expecting to hear the male Hobbit's voice as a deep frown etched on her face as she slowly lifted her chin so her eyes were almost level to a pair of brown ones. She flinched back, bummed that Bilbo was about to ruin her fun.

We can never can have enough Bilbo/Relly interaction, now can we? Hope you guys like the poem, I literally spent a whole day just writing it. The rhyming meter's a bit off but hopefully it sounds like a dwarven ballad. Just toss a few 'mountains' and 'lords' in there and it's all good, right?

I used one of those elvish translation sites for the name of Relly's rapier. I dunno if it's 100% accurate but I like the name nonetheless :)

It was a bit tricky writing Elrond's dialogue in this fic. Elrond's pretty chill in the books compared to his movie self (don't get me wrong Hugo Weaving is amazing) but the Hobbit movie and the LOTR movies made him a lot more bitter towards Man than he was in the series...but I digress.

I wonder why Ori chose that story...hmmm HMMM. Anyway, next chapter is a Bilbo-centric one I think.