The Hobbit and Lord of the Rings belongs to JRR Tolkien and the movies belong to Peter Jackson. I'm just a devoted fan.
*evil cackling*
your heart is going to ache :'D and this is a super long chapter (clocking in at 9k words, wowee) so bring a box of tissues and maybe some popcorn or a hot cup of tea!
His Peace of Mind
Your soul is a dark forest.
- Marcel Proust
I'm so thirsty.
Bilbo held the leather water skin to his ear to judge how much water he had left so he could justify drinking a few sips to slake his dry mouth. The weak swishing of liquid disappointed the Hobbit even further, wearing a lame little frown on his chubby face as he stuffed the water skin back into his sack. Since their trek into Mirkwood, there had not been a single spring safe enough to drink from. The group had to adjust to the constant thirst in their throats, resisting the urge to chug down the remainder of water left in their water skins. How funny was it to be surrounded by vegetation yet not allowed to eat or drink anything, or so Bilbo darkly thought.
Over the past few days, Bilbo noticed how much lighter his pack was on his shoulders. Remembering what Thorin said about wishing the packs were heavier with food, he couldn't help but feel a little guilty for eating more than the rest of his companions. True, he wasn't gorging but he certainly wasn't just nibbling either. Eat up so you'll be a healthy, happy Hobbit lad was what his dear Mum told him every mealtime, and even in the darkest, deepest parts of the winding forest he could still hear the childhood memories ring in his mind.
"Your mom has a beard?" Relly's stunned exclamation echoed through the dim woods, shaking Bilbo out of his contemplative moment.
"Yes?" Kili answered her, confused as to why she would even ask him something so obvious in the first place. "Why wouldn't she?"
Fili chimed in with, "She has the finest side wisps of hair ever seen! Our mother is beautiful!"
Bilbo absently scratched his chin, a frown forming on his lips. Most Hobbits were incapable of growing facial hair unless they were of Stoor descent and even then, it wasn't guaranteed. Being surrounded by beards, braids and mustaches did a damper on his own masculinity, though he got over it eventually. He looked ahead to the line in front of him, watching Relly's expression change as Kili told her more about their mother Dis with Bilbo occasionally listening in. It was hard to imagine Thorin Oakenshield having a sister since he seemed so solitary all the time. However, Thorin must be doing something right to have two devoted nephews and Relly as a weird sort-of daughter. Thorin even patted her on the head like a little child, an action the thief did not seem to mind.
Of course if I did that to her my hand would be clean removed from my wrist, he softly grumbled, snapping out of that mood as he kept up with the pace, eyes peeled for any suspicious activity. He did, after all, have the sharpest eyes of the entire party, a title he liked to wear with modest pride. He continued to follow along the path with the company until they all reached an impasse.
A river laid before them and judging by its contents, Bilbo was unsure whether this water was safe to drink from. Beorn had warned them of dark, murky streams that would cast spells on wearisome travelers.
"Do you think it is safe for us to replenish our water skins?" Dori asked.
Thorin shook his head, able to observe just how murky the stream was even in the dark. "I do not believe so. To think had it not been for Beorn's warning, we would be drinking and bathing. No, we must find a bridge...or a path...somehow."
A slight groan was uttered by the thirsty members. Bilbo stepped closer onto the riverbed of the fast river, seeing that there had once been a plank bridge but lost over time due to decay. His hope took a direct blow as he feared the worst. That is, until his beady Hobbit eyes spotted a boat across the river.
"Wait! I see a boat! But only if it could be on our side!" Bilbo pointed out the shape of the boat on the opposite riverbed.
"Well?" Thorin prodded him. "How far do you think it to be?"
Bilbo made a rough estimate. "Twelve yards or so. If we had some rope, perhaps we could bring it over here."
Thorin snorted, which sounded more like a sarcastic laugh than an actual snort. "It may as well be a thousand miles from us! And what if the boat is tied up or beached onto the riverbed? We cannot wade in the water or jump to it."
Bilbo wanted to say that all dwarves lacked common sense and that they all had the odd tendency to be select of hearing when it came to suggestions but instead he held his tongue. Didn't want Thorin to find a reason to dislike him all over again. "I don't believe it to be tied to the post...well, alright I am not entirely sure. In fact, if we just had some rope I'm sure we could yank it over to us."
After a couple back and forths, Bilbo successfully convinced Thorin to allow Kili to toss the rope into the boat and see if it would hook. Fortunately it did, but unfortunately as they all soon learned, the boat had in fact been tied to the post and it took all fifteen of them to yank the boat free. After a close call of nearly losing their boat, now the company had to decide who would ride first.
"I shall," Thorin said, "along with Fili, Balin and you too, Bilbo Baggins."
"But Miss Relly's a lady and she should cross the river first," Dori pointed out, his hand gesturing to the less-than-excited quarterling. "And I believe she is the lightest of us all."
Though the polite thing to do was let Relly cross the river first, ultimately she was paired off with the heaviest of the bunch: Bombur. According to Thorin's reasoning, it made complete sense for the fattest and lightest members of the company to share the boat as to not capsize. The first group to ride the boat would be Thorin, Fili, Balin and surprisingly, Bilbo himself. He was pleased to learn that Thorin liked him enough to share a short boat with him. The good feelings faded away as he sat on the small bench in the boat, seeing Relly look less than pleased on the opposite shore.
If she falls in, it will be Bombur's fault, Bilbo glumly thought. It would be like that time Relly knocked herself out after leaving the Greenwood. Last thing they needed again was a sleeping damsel.
"Out of the boat, Mr. Baggins," Balin reminded him, the 'pop' of his mental bubble being pierced as Bilbo more than happily obliged to leave the boat and shoo away those strange thoughts. As Bilbo touched land with his feet, he felt secure once more. Being over water made him rather antsy.
Kili, Balin, Dwalin and Oin were next and Fili had successfully strung their oar-less boat along by using the trees around them. Ori, Dori, Nori and Gloin followed after. Left on the other side of the stream were Bifur, Bofur, Bombur and Relly. Bifur and Bofur shared their boat ride as Bofur cracked a joke.
"Dwarves on the water! Who would have thought us as sea-farers?" he laughed, putting Bifur at ease as they stepped off the boat, joining the thirteen others.
Relly crossed her arms, eyeing Bombur and Bilbo could make out her uneasy expression. She probably did not want to be last to ride but that was what it boiled down to.
"Be careful!" Ori shouted across, worried for his dear friend.
Bombur approached the creaky boat first, sitting at the opposite end so Relly could step onto the boat without squeezing by him. So far so good. Everything was going smoothly and it seemed every dwarf was holding his own breath to make sure the boat didn't sink. Even Bilbo found himself forgetting to breathe, not wanting either one to fall into the black waters. The boat was nearing the riverbed, Bombur more than ready to finally step out and leave. But with all things on this journey, something bad was bound to happen.
"Deer!" Kili shot off some arrows but much to his misfortune, the wild deer had somehow avoided every shot. With the exception of Thorin and Bilbo, the deer bowled over the group of dwarves, the odd deer charging through on its panicky legs and stirring panic. Bombur gasped for breath, Relly trying to calm down the gentle giant as the deer skidded off into the woods, dashing any hopes of venison tonight.
"Help!" Bombur teetered on the nose of the boat, much to his dismay. He had one foot on land but the other one was somehow glued to the boat end, the poor dwarf frightened. "I'm going to drown!"
His Hobbit ears perking up, Bilbo started towards him and so did Fili and Oin, but Bombur was suddenly headbutted by Relly as an act of saving him, causing the fat dwarf to tumble onto land safely. Unfortunately, the force of Bombur tipping off the boat pushed Relly off the boat as the thief yelped before she dipped into the murky waters.
Oh no! Bilbo stared in horror. She literally risked her life pushing or rather headbutting Bombur onto land, which in turn caused her to fall into the water. If he weren't pressed for panic, his faith in her selflessness would have been fully confirmed.
"Relly!" Bofur yelled, the hatted dwarf running towards his friend but was stopped by Thorin, who ordered Fili to throw the hooked rope towards Relly. "We're coming to get you lass, don't you worry!"
"Relly, catch!" Fili shouted, panic and urgency pulsing through the veins of every company member.
"Got it!" she responded although her voice seemed rather off. With a heave-ho, everyone pulled the feather-light quarterling onto land only for them to discover that for the second time in their journey Relly had become unconscious.
Bilbo peered down at Relly, a frown carved onto his face. Seconds ago Relly had been awake and now she was magically asleep, just like Beorn had warned them. He bent down on his knees and looked at her closer, inspecting for any cuts or scrapes. Fili yanked the rope from Relly's hand as she laid perfectly still on the riverbed. Thorin was furious that such ill luck befell him and his travelers.
"That could have been me!" Bombur realized, his chubby mouth gaping as he watched the sleeping girl on the bank.
"It may have well been you!" Thorin scolded Bombur as he pushed Bilbo aside and fished Relly's sack and Warg skin from the river, making sure not to touch the water else he'd fall asleep too. "Once again, she is incapacitated," he spoke with frustration, his slate grey eyes watching Relly sleep peacefully like she weren't in the wood.
The men sat for a long time beside the gurgling stream, cursing the water for bringing misfortune upon them. Dwarves were highly superstitious folk, much more than Bilbo ever expected, as many of the dwarves tossed around ideas as to why things ended up this way. Supplies were low and now Relly was asleep for who knows how long. Anything else could potentially go wrong. Idle conversation eventually started up between the younger dwarves. Bilbo remained silent as his eyes occasionally glanced over to Relly before he averted his attention to Kili.
Fili rested his chin between his hands, puffing his cheeks out a bit as he sat on a fell log. "I wish Gandalf were here, he'd know a way to wake her up."
"Ori, here's your chance to kiss her," Nori elbowed his baby brother, causing the young dwarf to go full red in the face. "C'mon lad, we're all tired of you trailing behind her like a lovesick pup."
"I'm not lovesick," Ori corrected his brother but remained blushing all the same. This disconcerted Bilbo, having heard this suggestion before when Relly was knocked out the first time. Plus, he did not want to see Ori kissing Relly, only because he felt like it was taking advantage of her. That, and Bilbo didn't want to see him kissing her in the first place.
Thorin finally intervened in the subject of anyone kissing their only female companion, an act that brought much relief to the gentle-Hobbit. Thorin picked up Relly as if she were a sack of flour in his arms, the thief curled up near his chest as if she were a young child. It looked so strange to see a dwarf carry a small half-Hobbit being, almost comical if it weren't for the strange irritable nagging at the edges of Bilbo's mind. He knew that Thorin only viewed Relly as a little foundling, but it also unnerved him that Thorin could carry her so easily.
Funny really, how Bilbo expected Relly to wake up and say "Just kidding!" to everyone or to murmur something under her breath. He waited for any sign but Relly didn't open her eyes even once that night. If only Gandalf had not left us, maybe this wouldn't have happened to her.
An ache seared through him like a fire to the kettle; in fact Bilbo felt a bit ill. The pain he was currently experiencing wasn't from a named physical source and it wasn't the emotional drag he once felt for being a burden to Thorin. No, this pain was very specific and whenever he saw Relly fast asleep in Thorin's arms, it felt like a burning stab in his rib cage, right above where his heart was.
"We'll take turns carrying Relly," Thorin's voice cut through Bilbo's mental fog as the Hobbit propped his elbows on his knees and listened to what the leader had to say about their new luggage. "If we ever get out of this forest of madness, perhaps we can decide the course to take with her if she is still unconscious by then."
"Where's Mr. Gandalf when you need him!" Kili woefully sighed, the dark haired dwarf pouting as he plucked the string on his bow. "What if she—?"
"Doesn't wake up? For our sakes, I hope she will," and Thorin ended any what-if's right then and there. He did not want his men to dwell on such a fate. They had to keep moving and in the back of everyone's mind; at least they wouldn't have to lug around Bombur had he been the unlucky one.
Three days passed and Relly remained sleeping like a newborn babe. Thorin had carried her the most, probably out of a sense of fatherly obligation. Despite the emptiness of their bellies, Thorin had made it clear to everyone to not eat Relly's stash of food, since if anyone needed their strength it would be her. However, the desire was tantalizing; knowing there was still a store of food but out of everyone's reach.
"Your turn, Bilbo," Bofur walked to the back of the line to pass on the duty of carrying their little thief to him. "Even you should be able to carry her."
Bilbo forced a thin smile. He had never carried another person before and the fact it was Relly sort of made him feel strange. But he couldn't argue with the task set before him. "Fine."
Bofur winked at him. "Be careful with the lass," but the way he said it hinted at something else. Bofur was always so enigmatically cheerful to the point where it would unnerve Bilbo.
The male bachelor Hobbit was handed the precious cargo as he felt his knees bend a bit from the sudden weight. He adjusted his arms so her head rested in the crook of his elbow. Still asleep, no surprise there. With the pack on his shoulders and a sleeping quarterling in his arms, Bilbo certainly had a lot on his plate. He tried to keep up the pace set by Thorin as he trailed behind the group, being careful as to not drop Relly.
Every now and then Bilbo would glance down at the unconscious damsel in his arms, having to force himself to look away for fear in the off chance Relly woke up and caught him looking at her. His mind wandered to the night he approached Relly on the veranda at Beorn's cottage. How different she looked just sitting on the floor, staring out into the night landscape. Bilbo remembered his strong desire to sit alongside her, just so she wouldn't be completely lonely...
Bilbo meant every word he told her that night. Relly was selfless, as evidenced multiple times in their journey. She saved his life, she stood up for him, she made sure Bombur touched land before she did. She became dependent on other people rather than relying on herself and only caring about her needs. Relly was still mischievous and wild but over time, she had become friendlier and performed good deeds even she was a bit unorthodox about it.
The dawning realization crashed upon Bilbo like a falling sack of bricks as he felt that same stabbing ache in his rib cage. He cared. Bilbo Baggins, the solitary bum bachelor of Bag End, deeply cared about this little half-human, half-Hobbit resting in his arms. Relly Crillynook had slowly wormed her way under his skin and there was no use in denying her presence in his mind any longer. Biting the inside of his lip, he awkwardly used one of his free fingers to brush aside a chunk of black hair that had stuck to the sides of Relly's slightly parted mouth.
"There, much better. Now you won't drool all over the place," he quietly told her, as if he had done it out of good faith. It didn't stop the tiny genuine smile on his dimpled face from growing as he walked a little faster as the dull ache in his chest faded away.
The scenery around Bilbo eventually changed as the company was almost inclined to cheer for the fresh change of landscape. The trees started to look slightly different from one another and butterflies would gently float above their heads. A hint of an autumn breeze would waft through the undergrowth, which only reminded Bilbo just how long he had been away from his home. He wondered if Lobelia and her Sackville-Bagginses brood had finally grasped their claws on Bag End. The thought was chilling enough so he stopped thinking about it.
At night, sometimes Bilbo heard laughter far off into the forest. He wasn't just imagining it as other members pointed out the odd lights bouncing around in the distance and sounds of merriment. Bilbo wondered who could possibly be so happy in such a gloomy, twisted place.
"I wonder what she's dreaming about," Dori pondered as it was now his turn to keep watch of their sleeping companion while the rest of the company tried to rest. Bilbo almost didn't want to let go of Relly, only because he had become quite comfortable with the petite thief in his arms. She was laid on her Warg skin, the only member of Thorin Oakenshield's party to have such comfortable bedding on the forest floor.
"What makes you think she's dreaming?" Gloin asked, suggesting that perhaps Relly was in a continual state of nightmares. "With such an enchanted stream, I do not think any good comes out of that!"
"I just want her to wake up soon," Ori sighed as he cupped his own cheek with hand and rested his elbow on his knee, the dying flames of the fire illuminating his facial features. "I miss her very much."
Thorin didn't say anything as he ate the very last of his honey bread. Bilbo saw the guilt etched onto the lines of the dwarf lord's face and the worry seeped into him as well. What if Relly never woke up?
She's just like the princess from that song, Bilbo randomly recalled the ballad of Dworin and Agnu. The following lines also appeared in his head: Her skin so pale and moon-night in her hair / Autumn eyes and soft lips framed her face. Now he knew why Ori picked that ballad. Relly certainly had the facial features of the princess in the poem. Her autumn hazel eyes closed shut, the stillness of her moon-night hair...
Bilbo held his hand up to his forehead as to shield his expression from the rest of the males. The difference between Agnu and Relly was, well, Relly didn't purposely put herself to sleep. The thief said it so herself about how silly it was to be romantic. She could be coarse and unrefined, and she probably didn't put too much stock into fairy tales or love stories. He gulped. Relly as a princess? Not likely. A damsel, definitely. And even then, Bilbo couldn't deny the quiet prettiness that surrounded the quarterling thief as she rested on her Warg skin, unperturbed by the world around her. She was not afraid of the dangers at every corner or the trouble ahead of them. She was suspended in sleep, resting forever like Princess Agnu.
Bilbo didn't just deeply care for Relly. No, it was much more complex than that. It was this very feeling he had been making excuses for such as trying to hide away or rationally explain why he did the things he did towards Relly. Not only that, but the similar actions shown to him by Relly: her stuttering, looking away, turning red in the face...
The Hobbit held his tongue, not wanting to arouse the suspicions of his companions. Instead he settled on gently admiring Relly's sleeping form as he let out a small yawn. He wasn't sure how to say it exactly and now he was worried Relly would never hear him say anything. Even worse, Ori was also competing for her affections albeit Ori had his eye on her long before Bilbo ever considered Relly a viable romantic partner.
Bilbo meekly chuckled in his throat. It was too late for him.
Two slow, agonizing days passed. Thorin was getting angrier and angrier with the labyrinthine clockwork of Mirkwood and one could not ignore the loud Khuzdul cursing under his hoarse breath. Sure, the scenery had changed but now it all blended in with one another so it was like the beginning of this accursed journey in the woods again. Bofur tried to pass the time by whittling branches and twigs but no one seemed to find much joy in that.
"Oh come on lads, just trying to lighten things up a bit," he grumbled, the usually happy toymaker dwarf in a sour mood himself.
Not only that but Bilbo feared Ori was becoming more and more confident in his romantic affections towards Relly. He often heard the artistic young dwarf pine over losing that scarf he had made for Relly and had planned on making it a confession-gift of sorts. Bilbo couldn't help but take a little pleasure in knowing the scarf was lost. He liked Ori for the most part but he also tried not to get too close to him due to their mutual crush on Relly.
"Master Baggins, you've looked lost in thought lately. Are you quite alright?" Balin observed the far-off look on the Hobbit's face. Bilbo shook his head, clearing his throat as he shook his head multiple times.
"No, no, I'm quite fine. Hungry and tired like everyone else," and he added in a fake chuckle. Balin didn't seem to buy his answer but left the topic alone.
Night fell and morning came once more, like a sadistic cycle of surreal forest time. The men sat down to eat a meager breakfast of the last crumbs of food and drink the few sips of water from their containers. Relly's water skin was the only one with a good amount of spring water left but Thorin made sure no one touched her supplies.
"Just one sip shouldn't hurt," Nori begged but he was shot down.
"If I find that any of you have eaten even a speck of her honey bread, you will not eat anything else on this journey!" Thorin sounded ridiculous but as they all knew the majestic dwarf, he meant what he said.
Bilbo and the dwarves ate in silence, dry crumbs in their mouths only adding to their un-ending thirst. I'm going to die in this forest and a hundred years from now some poor explorer will find my bones and meet the same fate, he melodramatically imagined the whole scenario.
"I'm hungry!" piped up a female voice.
Bilbo nearly jumped out of his seat and many members of the company also turned their heads in shock. After many days of sleep, Relly Crillynook was finally awake and apparently very starving as she grabbed her pack and started shoving food down her gullet.
"Relly, Relly!" the dwarves cheered and Bofur began to approach his dear friend but an odd thing happened. Relly's eyes narrowed as she scooted away, still weak from lack of activity as she grit her teeth towards them.
"Who are you?" she angrily asked, keeping her stash of food close to her as she wildly turned her head. "Where am I? Did you kidnap me? If you did, you're going to regret this!"
Oh no, Bilbo's heart dropped. All that progress...gone, thanks to amnesia. Right when Bilbo was considering his feelings for her did she do a complete personality swap. It simply was not fair.
"What are you rattling about? We didn't kidnap you!" Dwalin told her but Relly seemed less convinced. "Lass, you've been travelling with us for months!"
The hazel eyed thief snorted as she drew her unfamiliar weapon, turning it around in her hand as if it were a foreign item. "I'd never travel with a bunch of dwarves or men. I rob them, not stick around."
Ori looked crushed. Gloin and Oin exchanged worried glances and Bofur also looked concerned. Bilbo stepped forward from the crowd, his presence suddenly made aware by Relly as she tilted her head at him, her lips pursed together.
"You're a Hobbit, aren't you?" she asked curiously with less anger in her voice but still defensive. "Do I...know you?"
Bilbo nodded, wanting to encourage her into remembering. "Yes, yes you do. I'm Bilbo Baggins and you're wearing my clothes. You, er, robbed me."
Relly glimpsed at her outfit and plucked the suspender strap in her hand. "So I did. But that doesn't explain why I'm," and she paused to get a gander at her surroundings, "here in a forest or with you weirdos."
Thorin decided to step in as leader and placed his hand on Relly's shoulder, but the thief shrugged it away. Bilbo saw this hurt Thorin. "We are not 'weirdos' as you call us. I am Thorin Oakenshield, son of Thrain in the line of Durin. Dwalin speaks the truth. You have been in my company since May and have proved yourself to be a honorable member of my party," as he gently bowed his head towards Relly. Before she could say another word Thorin continued with, "You fell into an enchanted river when you saved Bombur here," and he guided her attention to the fat dwarf. "You've been asleep for days."
"It's true," Bombur nodded. "You fell in after I made it on land."
Relly was more inclined to believe Thorin as she loosened her shoulders just a little. "Then why don't I remember any of this? I was just asleep in Rivertown days ago..." she muttered.
It was at that moment everyone realized her erased memory was much more severe than they thought. Months of memories- gone! No recollection of Gandalf or Rivendell or the goblins, Orcs, Beorn...nothing! Even worse, Relly appeared to be back to her old self, not the indomitable young woman Bilbo had begun to care for.
"Well I'm leaving so thanks for the food but bye!" and she turned on her heel and began to walk in the opposite direction of the path, everyone scrambling to stop her. "Hey, let me go!" she jerked her arm away from Dori and Bifur.
Bilbo spoke up once more, determined to make the thief believe their story. "Relly, you told us about your parents."
This seemed to work as Relly's mouth froze open, her eyes wide as she gawked at Bilbo. "Y-you're lying. You don't know anything about me, and you don't need to!"
"Mr. Baggins is right, Miss Relly," Balin cut in. "It was at Beorn's cottage that you finally told us about your heritage. How you are," and he sighed, "of Hobbit and human blood, shall I put it."
"No, I'm all Hobbit!" but even she knew her words were futile against the truth of her background. "I'm..." but she didn't finish her words.
Nobody talked. It was depressing to know their little quarterling had forgotten everything about their quest and it would be a difficult task to rebuild her memory. So far she listened to Thorin but her faith in the company had significantly plummeted. It was going to take a lot of work to remind her of her time spent with the adventurers.
The next few days Relly stayed away from everybody, choosing to eat her honey bread in a small corner of the path as she had her back turned to everyone. Frankly Bilbo was surprised she hadn't tried to run off into the forest yet but he guessed that even she knew her chances of survival depended among them. Bilbo was hoping she'd magically gain her memory back but to no such luck.
I hate this forest, Bilbo frowned as he got up from his seat and walked over to where Relly was sitting. Being careful as to not startle her, Bilbo called her name.
"Oh, it's you. What do you want?" she asked, her cheek stuffed with bread with her hazel eyes wide up at him. Bilbo had to suppress a laugh at her facial expression; how absolutely cute she looked. He'd berate himself later for even labeling her as cute.
Even Bilbo had to ask himself what he wanted. Well, he wanted Relly to get her memory back as well as her developed personality and maybe even start blushing around him. He had his hopes a bit too high for that last one though as he inched towards her.
"Do you remember anything at all?" he asked her, not realizing he sounded much sad than he intended. "Even a little detail about the adventure?" he nearly begged.
Relly arched a brow at him, feeling rather uncomfortable around Bilbo. "No. Stop asking me. I don't remember anything, nothing about Gandalfs or Orcs or anything!" she frowned at him, making eye contact with Bilbo until he was the first to turn away.
It hurt. It hurt Bilbo knowing Relly didn't remember anything. Any chance that she might have felt more than fond of him was dust now. So much for Bofur's words.
The forest no longer scared Thorin Oakenshield's company. No, the real beast in the woods was hunger and it was beginning to grow difficult ignoring that starving pit in their bellies. Relly had eaten the last of her food and had an empty stomach shortly after.
Thorin had tried to hold meetings over who would be sent into the forest to find out the source of the lights; the lights and sounds they often heard at night had become irresistible fodder to their thoughts. Unfortunately, no one had come to a final decision on who would be sent and thus any chance of democracy ended there.
Meanwhile, Relly had become more compliant with staying with the company, although she still was quite wary of everyone much to the disappointment of the dwarves and Bilbo. Every single one of them had approached her with their own story to tell her about her place in the company but Relly either paid little heed or found it hard to believe the tales. The only ones making any sort of progress were Thorin, Bofur and Bilbo himself.
"You knew my mother?" Relly asked in a soft voice. Anytime Bilbo mentioned her mother, her expression turned more forlorn than angry.
Bilbo sort-of lied. "Yes. I was just a tyke but I remember her coming back into Hobbiton with a big belly." This part was true, although even Bilbo's memories were quite hazy of the actual event. "I believe she kept to herself while raising you."
Relly gripped her Warg skin close to her. "Sounds right. I guess you're aren't lying then," and she left it at that.
Bilbo found it harder and harder to ignore the fact Relly was far more than just under his skin. Oh no, it was much more than that. The plucky thief had managed to steal his piece of mind and perhaps something else, a something he didn't want to admit so easily.
"Seems to me Relly's quite taken to you," Bofur chirped happily, whittling a stick with his knife as he hummed a nameless ditty. "Or maybe that you've taken to her."
Bilbo scoffed. "Hardly. It's like she's a different person."
The toymaker dwarf rolled his eyes, shoving his knife in his pocket as he stretched a smile on his face and leaned in towards Bilbo. "No use in denying it, lad. I can see it written on your face. You like her, don't you?" he raised both hairy brows at his Hobbit friend before he launched into a sing-song, "You do like her very much~!"
Bilbo stubbornly said, "Bofur stop that. Seriously," and his frown deepened at Bofur. "I mean it! You better stop singing for it is very annoying and your voice is horribly off-key," he tried to dissuade the go-lucky dwarf from belting out a song. Fortunately, Bofur shut his mouth before Bilbo could get any more embarrassed.
Before either of them could talk again, Bombur exclaimed about the lights in the distance once more. It agitated everyone to the point where the only semi-logical thing to do was to plunge themselves into the thicket and forget about the path. Bilbo was reluctant to follow the frenzy but he was hungry too and so he went. But the lights went out and the singing stopped and the only loud things left in the forest were a bunch of mixed up lost dwarves, Hobbit and half-Hobbit stranded in the maze of Mirkwood. Names were being yelled out, some more than others as the fifteen members of Thorin Oakenshield's posse became entangled in the greenery.
He found himself going in circles, every stump looking the same as he continued to yell out the names of his friends. "Dori, Nori, Ori, Oin, Gloin, Kili, Fili, Bombur, Bifur, Bofur, Dwalin, Balin, Thorin, RELLY!" he shouted Relly's name but to no avail. Occasionally he heard his own name in the forest but as he ventured deeper into the hell-forest, it became apparent evil was at work. The night swallowed up their cries and Bilbo was left alone in the darkness.
I wish I knew where I was, he sighed as he kept his hand on the hilt of his unnamed sword. He really ought to give the thing a name, having used it so much since he was given the sword by Gandalf. I may as well wait for day to come so I can do something.
So Bilbo fell asleep against the trunk of a tall tree, resigning to sleep because he could not do anything for the company when nighttime ruled over Mirkwood. When he awoke, he felt something stringy and sticky in his palm. It wasn't just around his palm, it was tied around his hands and as he shifted his head he saw his legs were bound by the strange substance as well. He tried to stand up but fell and rolled over onto his side, squirming around like the prey he had become.
Once again I am covered in grossness, Bilbo recalled the time he had been used as a hanky for a troll's bogeys. By now he should be used to being covered in nasty residue. He struggled to free himself from the trappings but the soft lumbering of the giant spider who had bound him up distracted him. Luckily only his hands and feet were tied so he managed to somehow break free. Before the spider could wind him up again in its silky thread, Bilbo brandished his sword.
The giant spider hadn't expected to dance with its food, as Bilbo nimbly sliced each leg with Hobbit-like precision. The spider's eyes unnerved him and almost made him falter in his footsteps but Bilbo courageously stood his ground against his enemy. As the spider lunged at him, Bilbo stabbed it right between its sets of eyes, causing a loud screech to emit from its unholy maw. The spider flailed around and madly leaped before Bilbo gave it the final killing blow and ended the spider's life, driving the sword into the spider's abdomen.
I did it, he thought to himself as he observed the black blood on his sword, wiping it off on the grass below him. No help from Gandalf or Thorin or anyone...I killed the beast.
Bilbo Baggins felt unstoppable. Despite his rumbling stomach, Bilbo had surprised himself once more with fierce courage and quick wit that even Gandalf would be proud of. He admired himself through the reflection of his stained sword blade and the name just popped into his head.
"Sting," he spoke. "I know what to call you name, and it will be Sting." Sting the Spider's Bane he hummed under his breath, having found inspiration for a new song to sing as he set out to explore Mirkwood and figure out just where Thorin and Co. were being kept.
As a caution, Bilbo slipped on his magic ring so he could move undetected. It was strange being invisible because Bilbo didn't exactly feel human or tangible when he was in this form. And yet it gave him a surge of power; that a Hobbit like him had access to a powerful little ring. Taking in a deep breath, he marched on into the forest and looked for any signs of dwarves or Relly.
After hours of stealthily wandering in the brambles and thorns, Bilbo came across a bleak shadow that even in the gloominess of the forest seemed quite off from the rest of the black. As he got closer to the spot he noticed the silvery strands of spider webs and instantly knew that this must be the place where all the giant spiders wove their webs. He may have been invisible but even Bilbo the Great was trembling at the very sight of these malicious creatures. Even worse, he could understand what they were saying!
"It was a sharp struggle but worth the chase," the skittering voice of a spider said. "Nasty tough skins though but what tasty good juice inside them!"
Bilbo wanted to retch. Referring to the dwarves as juice sacks made him feel queasy but he couldn't back down now. He had Sting and that meant he stood a chance against these nasty arachnids.
"They'll make a fine eating, especially that small one," another spider said. Bilbo didn't want to think that the 'small one' was Relly but it was certainly possible. "Let 'em hang a bit."
"Don't hang them too long," interrupted a third one. "Ruins the taste."
He saw one abnormally swelled up spider slide on one of its web ropes and hung near thirteen dangling bundles of cocoon wrapped spider prey. This only confirmed Bilbo's fears. He saw arms and noses stick out and the very last bundle was tiny in size. Relly!, he thought frantically. Right when he believed them to be unconscious, one spider was chucked to the ground by one swift kick. For now, at least they were alive.
I have to distract them, Bilbo eyed the forest floor for a stone or rock to toss at the spider webs. He may not be a great shot with arrows but Bilbo knew how to throw a rock. His fingers curled around an egg-shaped stone that would work perfectly for knocking one of those icky spiders off its ledge. He waited for the opportune moment to strike as the stone was released from his clutch.
Thunk! The spider near the fattest cocoon, one Bilbo could only guess as Bombur wrapped inside, crumpled to the ground like a common house spider. This was when the commotion started as Bilbo began to toss more and more rocks at the spiders, ambushing the giant nasty arachnids with a shower of stones. The dwarves must have heard the screeching of the hit spiders. His plan was to distract the spiders long enough so he could rescue his captured companions. Like shadows themselves the spiders crawled under the protection of the black night, but they were no match for Bilbo the Great, the Sting Wielder.
As Bilbo wildly danced in the trees and bulleted the spiders with heavier rocks and stones, he starting singing a song with words at the top of his head:
Old fat spider spinning in a tree!
Old fat spider can't see me!
Attercop, Attercop!
Won't you stop,
Stop your spinning and look for me!
Old Tomnoddy all big body,
Old Tomnoddy can't spy me!
Attercop, Attercop!
Down you drop!
You'll never catch me in your tree!
Pardon Bilbo's rather juvenile taunt for you see, he was improvising at the moment and he was too caught up in this spur of imagination. With Sting as his blade and the trees as his fortress, Bilbo Baggins was a force to be reckoned with. Even the spiders, who did not know exactly what a Tomnoddy or Attercop were, did not like to be insulted by a hairy little worm. To make matters worse, he spun another song, about calling them crazy cobs and lazy lobs. His baiting would bring faster results than he expected.
Bilbo slashed through threads of spider silk, making his way closer to where his friends were being dangled. He had very little time to save them as he approached one slow, old spider and slayed it before the spider had time to react. His feet working faster than his brain, Bilbo calculated which bundle to chop first. Judging by the stray blond hairs poking out of the spider's silk, he thought it to be Kili as he hacked and slashed away at the covering. He took off his ring, nearly forgetting he had still remained invisible after all this time.
"M...Mr. Bilbo?" Fili spoke woozily, full of spider poison in his system. Bilbo had to stifle a laugh from seeing Thorin's nephew dangle like a puppet.
"Yes it's me," Bilbo nodded as he hushed Fili, gesturing to the half-awake dwarf to start dragging up their friends on the branch and cutting them free. Bilbo took it upon himself to find Relly and save her personally, in the small hope that maybe she'd remember the last time he rescued her from peril. Maybe then...
Fili and soon Kili, Dori, Bifur, Bofur, Bombur and Nori were freed and began working on the next set of dwarves. Bilbo traveled further down the line and at last saw a little wriggling spider bundle. "Relly? Relly, I'm here, I'm freeing you," he assured the squirming lass.
He lifted up the cocoon and gently sliced away the silk until he saw the familiar moon-night hair peeking through. He hesitated for a moment, admiring its sheen before he slapped himself out of it and freed Relly.
"Er..." she rubbed her arm as she paused to say something but held back. She kept her hand on her rapier as she scooted past him, the cries of Bombur distracting Bilbo as he saw the fat dwarf being carried away. Sliding the magic ring back on his finger, he ran after the spider responsible for the dwarf-napping.
How his blade shone in the moonlight! It was becoming like his own hand, slicing and stabbing the hairy legs of frothy spiders to and fro in a deadly waltz. He killed about maybe six of the arachnids as he revealed himself to Bombur and said, "Come down from the branches! Don't get netted again!"
Noticing the spiders form a circle around them in the trees and the forest floor, the dwarves and Relly jumped or climbed down to the floor and readied themselves for a last stand against their captors. Some had their weapons, others had stones or sticks and generally under-prepared for a battle against these bugs.
The little war waged on and Bilbo came to the sad conclusion that they wouldn't win. The dwarves and Relly were tired to the point only five of them remained standing. For every spider killed, ten more popped out of the woodwork. The only way anyone would get out alive was if Bilbo let the company in on his little secret, a tactic Bilbo wasn't too particularly keen on. But if it meant saving his friends' lives, then he would do it.
"I am going to disappear and I will keep the spiders at bay," Bilbo revealed to the company left standing. "Now run off- but keep together and in the same direction! Maybe left, that was were the fires and sounds were!"
It took the company a few times to drowsily understand his words but Bilbo yelled "RUN!" and they didn't need another reason. Bilbo wore the ring once more and to everyone's shock, the little Hobbit disappeared in front of their sleepy eyes. Truly a sight to behold but Thorin and Co. couldn't stick around. Bilbo made sure they were a considerable distance away before he trailed after them, seeing the plight his friends were in.
"No go on, I will do the stinging!" he proclaimed in a loud voice, making his appearance known as he darted under the abdomens of the spiders and began hacking, slicing, cutting and stabbing at any spidery appendage he could find. This ordeal seemed to last years as Bilbo himself felt the weight of aches and tiredness upon him. Just when he had to gnash his teeth to raise his arm, the spiders stopped biting.
Now afraid of the spider's bane, the arachnids receded into the darkness and followed the company no more.
With a triumphant but tired grin Bilbo sheathed his sword and immediately felt the effects of using so much energy. This part of the forest they were in provided a resting area away from the dark magic of Mirkwood. Nobody said anything for the longest time as everyone from Balin to Relly panted and huffed. What was there to say? Bilbo found a small boulder to sit on as his chest heaved in and out, hardly believing all his bones were not broken from his exciting escapade.
Unfortunately he was bombarded with hundreds of questions relating to his confrontation with Gollum and how he obtained such a unique ring. Balin especially seemed the most interested as the wizened dwarf asked tons of questions about the nature of the riddle game.
"I guess you can say I tricked the poor creature," Bilbo shrugged as he explained how he was able to win through a loophole in the riddle game. "Maybe it's why I didn't kill Gollum."
Dwarves were fascinated by mercy and the fact that Bilbo, who had very much a reason to slay the pitiful creature, chose to leave Gollum its life was an interesting tale indeed. Even Relly, who had her back turned to the group, looked over her shoulder a couple of times. Bilbo put on a little close-lipped smile for her but she turned away again. If she had her memories intact maybe she would have been impressed that Bilbo stole something.
Hours passed and soon almost everyone was out sleeping or awake but not talking. Bilbo remained on his little rock, not caring that the boulder provided less comfort. Just when his eyelids drooped, he heard the crackling of sticks.
"Who's there?" he demanded but immediately softened up when it was no one other than Relly. He relaxed his shoulders as she approached the Hobbit. The quarterling had both her hands in the pockets of her trousers and wasn't making eye contact with him.
"I've been thinking about everything," she muttered quietly, her hazel eyes constantly looking around.
Bilbo didn't quite understand what she meant. "About?"
"Being here. Some of it makes sense. I don't have my cloak or my dagger but I have this rapier and...I just feel very dizzy."
"Well don't strain yourself Relly," his brows knitted together from concern. As much as Bilbo would like her to have her memory back he didn't want the woman to beat herself over it. "I can't imagine how difficult this must be for you."
Relly chewed her bottom lip. "I guess it's not too bad. Kinda like a new slate or whatever that saying is," she got the gist of the phrase. "Kili and Fili told me I was pretty good with this thing..." she tossed her rapier between her hands before she sheathed it again. "Was I?"
He nodded. "It's true," he told her as he noticed Relly was sitting on the boulder as him. He blinked a few times, not remembering her being this close to him. His fingers latched onto a small crevice in the rock, as if he were gripping on for life.
"I remember bits and pieces but it's just feelings and nothing specific. It's really dumb, I know," she slumped over a bit.
Relly didn't say anything as she kicked her legs back and forth and shifted her eyes around to the greenish light of the forest around them. As much as Bilbo wanted to say something to break the awkward silence between them, he may have liked this.
"Um, thanks," she rubbed the back of her neck as the quarterling looked down at her bare feet. "I guess, for saving us and me...before..." she trailed off, turning beet red to where her blush contrasted with the green light around them.
Her appreciation caught him off guard. Not ever expecting a true 'thank you' from the mischievous thief, Bilbo turned his head to look at the now painfully shy Relly and opened his mouth to say 'you're welcome'. He didn't even get the 'Yuh' out.
Relly Crillynook, that annoying little thief that had stolen his forks, clothes and his peace of mind, was chastely kissing him on his lips. Judging by how direct she was, the poor lass probably never kissed a bloke before. Nonetheless, it was very sweet and Bilbo found himself kissing her back without a second thought, his hands leaving the edge of the boulder and gently placed upon her own. If someone had told Bilbo Baggins a year ago that he'd grow affectionate for a thief, let alone kiss one, he would have politely but sharply told you to turn around and go back whence you came.
"WHERE'S THORIN?" Dwalin roared and any chance of that small romantic moment going somewhere was halted as Bilbo broke off the kiss and jerked his head up, beyond the definition of the very word 'embarrassed' that he had just been caught kissing Relly by most of the company.
*continues evil cackling*
I figure after all the buildup, it should finally just *happen*. I think it's realistic for them at this point. Hopefully. Hm. Anyway, there's your kiss. It may not be much but it means something in the land of Bilbo/Relly, and I'm glad it was in Bilbo's POV. Relly's going to eventually recover her memories, just rather slowly!
Yes, I know that I did skip over some things in the Mirkwood chapter such as Bilbo climbing to the top of trees and coming across the elven feast. Like the forest itself, that chapter dwindled on 5ever until we got to the exciting spider part. As much as I love Tolkien, jeez the guy can write about nothing for pages on and on. Plus, if you wanted to read that stuff, go back to the book :P I don't like literally following word for word so yeah.
ELVES. NEXT CHAPTER. YAY. FINALLY. That means Thranduil :) I'm super psyched about Lee Pace as Thranduil...mmm. How will Thorin feel about Relly and Bilbo kissing? And what about Ori? Bofur? Azog? GOLLUM? Okay, just kidding on that last one...or am I?