A/N: Luckily I didn't get too far into the arc before making my decision, but I have pulled the last three chapters down to rework them. I was fighting off writer's block, putting pressure on myself to update, and overall just eager to get to my big plan and it did not execute as swiftly as I would have liked. I don't want the emotions I'm conveying to be a blatant overreaction – I want it to feel genuine, and moving! I was also filled with SO much self-doubt, I knew I hadn't delivered what I know I'm capable of. So after much consultation with my wonderful friend Lex and a bit of back and forth in my own mind, I'm back to Hawaii, and I will attempt to add in all the detail and nuances of this arc that were the ENTIRE reason I decided to rewrite this story in the first place. So bear with me as I attempt to get this right, and I hope this time, I will pull it off without a hitch!

His breathing was so ragged, rattling in his chest. Coming from so deep within him that it was like the disease was audibly sucking the life from him. She tried to hold his hand, but his skin was so cold, crumpling like paper beneath her touch. She felt her own throat begin to close, her lungs unable to draw in anymore air. The cancer was going to take them all... from the inside out, one by one... it was taking their life... their vitality...

Snapping her eyes open with a sharp intake of breath, JJ hurriedly brought a hand to her chest where she could feel her heart thudding against her ribcage. The top of her shirt was damp with sweat, and despite the warm air spilling into the room, she felt cold.

Taking a deep breath, she flopped onto her back, glancing over to her right where she was glad to see that Will was still fast asleep. As quietly as possible, she slipped out from under the covers, padding across the carpet to the bathroom.

Flicking on the light once the door was closed, she turned towards the mirror. She was surprised when she saw how pale her face was, which only accentuated the dark circles starting to appear under her eyes. She leant against the counter, letting her head hang for a moment as she let out a sigh. Every day felt like one step forward, two steps backwards. Sometimes she was fine... other times, she was waking up in a cold sweat, unable to shake the image of her dying father from her mind.

She shivered suddenly, realising how cold she was now that the sweat had cooled against her skin. Turning around, she reached into the shower stall and flipped on the shower. While she waited for it to heat up, she stripped off her shirt and underwear, dropping them by the vanity, before turning and stepping into the stall. As the hot water hit her skin, she let out an involuntary shiver, goosebumps prickling up all over her body at the sudden change from cold to hot.

"Help him! Please! Please help him!"

Swallowing hard as her own cries flashed through her head, she closed her eyes, pushing her face into the stream of water.

He was gagging, bright red blood bubbling up from his mouth.

"No," she said firmly to herself, shaking her head as if trying to shake away the memory. She kept her eyes closed, hugging herself as she stood beneath the water, willing it to beat away everything bad and leave her fresh and new.

"When are you coming home?"

"Stop it," JJ muttered, trying to force her brain away from the track it was clearly taking. She didn't want to relive those days. Ever. Living it once had been more than enough.

The door creaked open, making her whip her head towards the frosted glass separating her from the bathroom. She watched for a silhouette, her heart hammering in her chest even though realistically, she knew it could only be Will.

"JJ? You ok?" he asked softly, poking his head around the door.

"Yeah, I'm fine," she replied, her voice so small it was nearly drowned out by the sound of the shower. "I just woke up feeling all clammy"

Will didn't respond, and she knew straightaway he was analysing every word she said. She looked down at her hand, where her engagement ring sat sparkling beneath the droplets of water, and tried to fight back the feeling of guilt it stirred up. She didn't have to tell him every single feeling that ran through her head. He was happy, and carefree, and so he deserved to be. She wasn't about to ruin that for him by burdening him with grief. Grief that she just wanted to move on from.

"I'll be out in a minute," she said after a few moments silence. He seemed to hesitate for a moment, his silhouette hovering by the door, but then she saw him nod once and slowly leave the room, pulling the door shut behind him.

She finished up her shower reasonably quickly, towelling herself off before tugging on one of the hotel robes and making her way back out into the room. Will rose up from where he was lounging on the bed as she approached, giving her a smile before leaning down and pecking her lips.

"Morning," he said softly, eliciting one of the first real smiles she felt she'd been able to show in recent days.

"Hi," she replied, feeling a little more relaxed. "What do you want to do today?"

"Well, I was thinking we could go for a hike. And then, of course, you can put on your tiniest bikini and we can go to the pool," Will said, waggling his eyebrows suggestively. JJ laughed, slapping his chest with the back of her hand before stepping around him and heading over to her suitcase.

A couple of hours later, they were making their way down the Hoapili Trail towards La Perouse Bay. The sky was bright, the sun warm on their skin, with a gentle breeze rustling through the abundance of palm trees. Once again, JJ felt calm. The serenity of where they were made her feel like, just for a moment, everything was ok.

As they reached the end of the trail, it put them right out at the mouth of the bay. The water was a bright blue, sparkling in the Hawaiian sun as gentle waves lapped against an outcropping of black volcanic rock that had long since formed a wedge in the bay. Contrasting it was the pure white sand a little further down the beach.

And better yet, they were the only ones there.

"Wow... this is stunning," Will said, letting out a low whistle as they stopped at the edge of the rock to admire the bay. He slung an arm around JJ's shoulders, giving her a quick squeeze. "Be the perfect place to go skinny dippin'"

Immediately, JJ shrugged out of his grip, pushing him away as she stepped off the rock and onto the sand.

"Hey," Will called after her. "What's the matter?"

Suddenly brimming with anger, JJ wheeled around. "Can you go five minutes without thinking about my body? What am I, just an object to you?"

Will frowned. "JJ, I was just kiddin' around. You know I would never objectify you"

"Oh really, Will, because this morning you said you wanted me to go to the pool in my smallest bikini and now you're making cracks about going skinny dipping, and I'm kind of sick of it," she spat, her eyes narrowing as she stared up at her fiancé.

"Ok," Will said gently, taking a step towards her. "I'm sorry I upset you... I would never say things like that to objectify you. I think you're stunning, Jayje, but you've always been more than your looks to me, I hope you know that"

JJ let out a heavy sigh, pinching the bridge of her nose. "I know... I know"

"What's the matter then? I've made jokes like that before and it's never bothered you," Will said carefully, closing the gap between them and bringing a hand to her upper arm.

"Nothing, it's... I'm fine," JJ replied, finally looking up at him. "I'm just tired, I didn't sleep very well... sorry for snapping at you"

"It's alright, babe," Will said with a soft smile. "Come on. Let's go for a walk along this beautiful beach... maybe it'll help you clear your head"

The sun was setting, casting a pink and orange glow across the sky. After enjoying most of the day out exploring the bay and the surrounding trails, they had returned to the hotel, changed into their bathing suits, and spent the rest of the afternoon lounging by the pool.

Warm, content, and relaxed, JJ was laying on her stomach on the day bed in the cabana they had managed to grab. Will was gently tracing patterns across her bare skin, the repetitive patterns soothing her to the point she felt she could almost fall asleep.

"What do you want to do for dinner?" Will asked, shuffling back against the cushions. "We could go for pizzas... they were the best when we were here last year. Or maybe we could go to the bar for dinner and drinks?"

"Mm," JJ murmured with a noncommittal shrug.

Will chuckled. "Or we could just get room service and hang out in the room. I really don't mind"

"That sounds good," JJ said, her voice muffled by her folded arms. "I'm really tired"

Chuckling, Will leaned over, pressing a kiss to the back of her shoulder. "I know babe"

She closed her eyes as he gently raked his fingers through her hair. The feeling of his fingers against her scalp was incredibly relaxing, once again making her feel as though she could just drift right off. She only wished that this feeling could last forever. Because as soon as she was more alert, the ever present cloud was going to come rushing back.